We're longtime dog owners who sadly lost our last dog a few weeks ago. Last week we decided we were ready to rescue again and made an application to a breed rescue - very different breed from our last dogs. We have a beautiful cross breed on two weeks trial adoption. A bit of background, DH is physically disabled and we need to make sure that any dog isn't too boisterous so that DH doesn't get knocked over etc. Our DS (19) is Asperger's and lives with us.
So far DH and I feel it's going very well and barring anything drastic, we are hopeful we can go for a full adoption. However, DS is struggling. Our lovely dog was 12 1/2 when he died, so very calm and chilled - and he'd been part of our family for 11 years. Having AS, DS was very attached to our dogs and although we discussed rescuing another dog very thoroughly, he is not happy. He has forgotten how much time a 6 year old dog demands (plus the fact that the new dog has been in kennels for 3 years and is obviously not chilled, though not hectic), and is anxious when I go out leaving him and DH with the dog. He is quite prepared at the moment to hand her back at the end of the two weeks.
In return I am struggling with the idea of returning her to what would be kennels again - she has had no enquiries in all the previous years. I know that if we keep her if DS doesn't want to, he won't trust us again. I know that we should all be in agreement, but think that in time he will love her as much as our last dogs. It's the AS and the black and white thinking, but I can't make him see that in time it will be fine. I'm worried that he will change his mind in a few weeks - after she goes back. He's not a child, but he is very emotionally immature compared to his peers.
What do I do? If he was 9, it would be DH and me making the decision alone. He shares the dog care with me (DH can't beyond cuddling), and is fine feeding, walking (with me) and playing.
Sorry, I'm going round in circles - just need some advice. Keep her despite what DS feels or tell the rescue that we can't keep her?
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Help please - I need some good advice...
21 replies
Lara2 · 11/08/2016 20:55
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