Help me deal with letting my foster dog go to his forever home

(14 Posts)
bluetongue Tue 09-Aug-16 06:38:12

I know lots of you wonderful people on the Doghouse have had foster dogs before and done a lovely thing in getting them ready to be adopted into their new home.

After never being able to have a dog before I Decided to foster an ex racing greyhound after my lovely cat died a couple of months ago. The first couple of weeks were a bit stressful but now we've settled into a rhythm life with him is good. I do have first option to adopt him but won't be because I'm a cat person and he's not okay with cats.

The problem is I've become quite attached to him. He's super friendly and often asks strangers for pats and sometimes leans on him.

His adoption group are having a big adoption day next weekend and he's likely to find his new home then. It's all a bit bittersweet. I'm thrilled he's done so well becoming a pet after being a racing dig but I'm worried I'll be upset when he's gone.

Any tips?

blueistheonlycolourwefeel Tue 09-Aug-16 06:43:52

Why not keep him? I'm a cat person too but have a dog. Greyhounds are the most cat like dogs you can get!!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 09-Aug-16 06:46:46

He may not find a home yet?

But if he does, try and see it as your job is done with him, and you now have a space to help another foster. You have been the reason he has not spent time fretting in kennels, such a brilliant thing to do.

My best friend fosters (around 40+ dogs so far). I walk my dogs with her on a daily basis and full of admiration in the way she helps these dogs.

I can't foster yet as I have a dog aggressive dog, but plan to in the future.

YvaineStormhold Tue 09-Aug-16 06:48:49

Ah, keep him. G'wan.

My sister had a greyhound. She was basically a cat on stilts. Lovely animal.

mollie123 Tue 09-Aug-16 06:50:29

if he does not like cats - and you are thinking of getting a cat it probably will not work
if it was me (not a cat person) I would keep the lovely gentle greyhound who you have obviously bonded with.
I am sure if you are not able to keep him he will have a lovely forever home.
I had thought of fostering dogs when my current dog is no longer around but could not cope with the loss of letting the dog go so I have decided it is not for me sad
admire you greatly for taking on a dog and giving him good experiences that he can take to his new homesmile

bluetongue Tue 09-Aug-16 06:57:00

The keep him advice isn't helping! The other issue is he's a large greyhound (36kg), gets through lots of food every day and every thing for bigger dogs costs more. The sensible part of me intends to get a Whippet after I get my next cat.

Is there a diplomatic way of asking whoever adopts him for some updates, at least to start with?

Whatever happens, he's with me until he gets a home.

YvaineStormhold Tue 09-Aug-16 07:01:45

Add his new owner to your fb, if you have it?

bluetongue Tue 09-Aug-16 07:04:14

I don't have Facebook currently but was intending to get it soon anyway. This might be just the incentive I need!

YvaineStormhold Tue 09-Aug-16 07:13:07

You could start a fostering page, with all your charges on it (if you decide to keep going) smile

livelyredjellybean Tue 09-Aug-16 07:29:12

Some of my ex foster dogs do send me updates which is lovely 😊 I also offer to do homechecks - esp for my fosters! - so I know where they are going to.

BrianaTheBadger Tue 09-Aug-16 17:07:09

We had a foster lurcher who went to her forever home a couple of weeks ago so I really feel your pain! She was so lovely (and also did the leaning thing which was adorable) but due to circumstances we just couldn't adopt her. On the positive side her new owners are lovely. We actually "recruited" them ourselves by putting ddogs profile on our local Facebook group and inviting people to contact the dog rescue, they came to see her twice, then fostered her for a weeks trial and have now formally adopted her.. We're actually going to visit her tomorrow evening and will be having her back for a couple of weekends over the next few months when they go away. So it can work out well (after the tears have subsided).

mollie123 Tue 09-Aug-16 17:12:39

yes the 'leaning thing' is one of the characteristics that lets them into your heart - it is as if they want to get SO close to you smile

Scuttlebutter Tue 09-Aug-16 23:57:07

We have fostered (and currently do) and also have "failed" as fosters. I am also very blessed to have a number of good friends that foster, mostly because the majority of our friends are greyhound/pointy dog nuts like us.

A couple of points. By fostering, you are helping to provide the essential "bridge" between a life in racing and a new second life as a companion. This is an especially important task for greyhounds who don't have early lives that are anything like the lives of "pet" dogs in rescue. The help and training you provide will be of benefit for years to come, and will assist your lovely boy in making a smooth transition to his new life.

Contact after adoption - absolutely!! It's one of the nicest parts of fostering, seeing one of your charges doing well. Most greyhound owners are extremely social folk - your rescue will almost certainly organise things like regular walks, playdates, shows, picnics etc. Go along to them, and you'll probably meet up with your former boy.

One of my very dear friends who fosters for EGLR has now fostered approx 36 dogs. Every Christmas she does a wonderful newsletter to all us families who have adopted one of her fosters with news and updates. Out of all the families, only one hasn't kept in touch with her. I see her regularly and for instance she comes along to watch if I'm competing with Scuttlelurcher in a Rally trial nearby or similar. I regularly send her pics and we swop lots of news and info/pics on FB.

I know lot of people who maintain links with their foster families. For instance, foster family will have dog to stay during owner's holiday - that's very common, or dog sitting for a weekend away.

If you decide to adopt this gorgeous hound, that's completely understandable, but you should be very proud indeed of fostering - it's the foundation of so many successful adoptions. Yes, of course it's a bittersweet moment when you say goodbye to them (I've cried buckets after saying goodbye) but it's very much au revoir rather than Farewell.

As a lovely example, we fostered a beautiful greyhound many years ago. She went to the most wonderful home, and we kept in touch with her adopter, seeing them at events and having joint walks etc with our gang plus their two dogs (they'd adopted a second greyhound). Sadly, this owner experienced a period of very severe ill health requiring a lengthy hospital stay. Our previous foster and her new brother came to us for the duration so they could have a nice safe home environment, and avoid a long stay in kennels. We were able to visit owner in hospital and provide lots of lovely reassuring updates on the dogs. Sadly their health then deteriorated further and we were asked to keep the dogs as long term fosters (owner was too unwell to look after them). We provided a loving home for them (one has now passed away) and that original foster girl is still with us, snoozing peacefully on her bed nearby as I write this. We were able to (and still do) provide updates, photos etc for her original adopter - it's been a real comfort to them to know their dogs have had the best possible care. it's a great example of the long term relationships you can build between foster and adoptive homes, and why I always recommend rescues as life time back up really does mean just that.

Good luck!

bluetongue Wed 10-Aug-16 00:16:16

I was hoping you might reply Scuttle. Your enthusiasm for pointy dogs is admirable.

Fostering has actually been really a positive thing for me. As cliched as this sounds it's been so heartwarming watching my foster boy get to experience pet life for the first time. You can almost see the joy in his face.

My mum has even become a greyhound ambassador and loves telling random people how wonderful they are smile

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