Explaining DDog dying to DC

(6 Posts)
PragmaticWench Thu 07-Jul-16 21:46:44

We have just been told DDog has lymphoma throughout his bowel and it's inoperable. He'll be having chemo for a while but we need to find the best way to explain to DD what is happening when he does eventually go. DD is 3.6 and quite anxious, although fine with the concept of death as we are pretty straight about it when she sees dead insects/wildlife.

Can anyone recommend any good books? She loves reading so a book would be good. She knows DDog is unwell but we aren't planning on saying that he's dying yet; is this the right approach?

triballeader Thu 07-Jul-16 22:08:55

One of the very best free online illustrated resources I have seen. You may need to tweak the words to suit your own dog and child but it should give you a good starting point.

barkpost.com/dog-life-illustration/

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 07-Jul-16 23:01:13

Goodbye Mog is an excellent book. Honestly is the best policy children this age are very factual DDog's body is broken and the vet can't fix it this time. Use the words death and dying, do not under any circumstances talk about going to sleep.

PragmaticWench Fri 08-Jul-16 07:02:50

Thank you both, I'll look at the suggested ideas. No, I certainly won't talk about 'going to sleep', she'd be terrified of going to bed if I did!

DiamondInTheRuff Fri 08-Jul-16 07:09:32

So sorry pragmatic. Our ddog was diagnosed with lymphoma last October. We managed it for a few months and had to let him go in January, a few days before DS' 3rd birthday.

DS was fine with it at first, just a shade too young to really understand. However he does still ask when ddog will be coming back from time to time.

We took in a rescue In April which was difficult, DS kept asking when the new dog would go so our old dog could come back. He hasn't said that for a few weeks though.

We had a few behavioural problems at nursery around the same time, but I also had hyperemisis which probably was more of an issue.

flowers

AngelicCurls Sat 09-Jul-16 22:13:57

Sorry to hear about your dog. I don't have any words of wisdom about preparing your DD, other than to say that our dcat died last year and I told dd, then 3, that he was poorly and had died and was buried in he garden. She took it amazingly well, still occasionally asks where he is, but doesn't get upset about it. As prev posters have said, it's best to be quite open and factual about it.

With regards to the chemo, is your vet aware you have a child? Only its generally not good to have kids around chemo agents (which will be in your dogs urine/faeces/vomit and poss saliva) as the chemo drugs affect rapidly growing things (such as kids!). I would have a chat with your vet if they aren't aware of this as it may affect your decision to have him go through chemo, or your management of him at home with regard to where he pees/pops etc.

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