Getting pressure to rehome our puppy.

(14 Posts)
Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 14:37:36

Hi, I'm only posting this because I'm exhausted and need to get some advice. I've wanted to have a dog for years but was renting previously so couldn't. My oh isn't dog person but agreed to get one as he knew how long I had wanted one. The problem is that he has made his dislike of the little chap very clear and complains constantly about him. He swears and shouts at the dog which is really out of character for him. We have had him for twelve weeks and our marriage has come under massive strain. Our lo is an only child and I feel has really benefitted from having a furry friend. Unfortunately the dog has had a tummy issue for three weeks and has had massive messy accidents all over the house at night (It's only ever at night) He wants to sleep on the sofa not his bed at night and will whine and howl from 10pm nonstop until he's let out into the rest of the house. My oh can't bear the whining and gets really angry. The pup has also been needing the loo throughout the night over these three weeks and at its worse i've been up every hour from 11pm-5am. My mum is pressurising me to rehome the pup, my husband is really unhappy and I feel so conflicted as I love the little chap. I suffered from post natal anxiety after my lo was born and am now only just getting a handle on it two years later. I feel like i'm failing the puppy and being the cause of creating a rift in my marriage. My husband will be out of a job by the end of June and as yet doesn't have another one lined up. That's the main reason why he's so stressed but me and the pup are getting the brunt of it. I have taken our pup to the vets twice and they're not worried. He's currently on a very bland controlled diet to see if that helps sad

OhNoNotMyBaby Fri 27-May-16 14:42:57

Please rehome him. The puppy that is.. If you OH is this unpleasant right now, when the pup is cute and gorgeous, how long before he starts kicking it?

It's absolutely not the right environment for a pup.

KoalaDownUnder Fri 27-May-16 14:47:38

I'd rehome the OH, personally, but since that's presumably off the cards - yes, rehome the puppy.

And please don't get a dog again unless everyone in the household is keen. It's not fair on the animal.

Branleuse Fri 27-May-16 14:52:14

I think it sounds like a nightmare. DO you have anyone who would take him, or is it all theoretical.

Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 15:02:28

No, I definitely would not get any animal again after this. I genuinely didn't realise that my oh would act in this way and have been really suprised. I do think it's mainly down to his impending job loss. He's a lovely guy and this behaviour is totally out of character for him. Our puppy is a rescue which makes me feel even more crap about the whole thing. I would return him to the rescue if it comes to that as I signed an agreement with them. I really don't want to have to do that but I agree that this environment isn't fair on the puppy.

Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 15:12:51

I'm really hoping to avoid rehoming him if possible though. I'm going to be getting some support from a dog behavioural therapist first to see if the howling can be addressed.

georgedawes Fri 27-May-16 15:19:19

Will the breeder take the puppy back? If you do rehome I'd do it sooner rather than later, the puppy has a better chance of finding a new home whilst young.

Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 15:29:34

Hi georgedawes, he's from a rescue and yes they would. I'm feeling really embarrassed and upset as I just wish that i'd known how strongly my oh felt about having a dog. I'm really annoyed at myself as well.

Greyhorses Fri 27-May-16 15:50:12

To be honest if this was my husband I would tell him to get a grip or get lost. It's a puppy what did he think it would do? It was obvious it was going to need training and sometimes would get ill, my DP would be on his hands and knees helping me clean up after my dog that he didn't want either because that's what partners do surely?

I would rehome the dog for its own sake before he causes serious behavioural issues from shouting at it, dogs that are trained negatively typically become nervous and worried adults. It's pointless paying for training unless every member of the family is on board and willing to commit to being involved and any trainer or behaviouralist worth their salt will tell you this straight away. Training won't work if only half of the family is comitted and seperation problems are a nightmare to fix at the best of times.

It would be better off in a home where it won't be disliked and it will find a home quicker while it's young, sorry! sad

pigsDOfly Fri 27-May-16 15:51:18

Well if your oh is so dead against a dog he should have made that clear before you got the dog really, but it's too late for that now, which is a shame for the poor dog.

It's not going to get better if he's yelling at the poor thing. The dog has come to a new home, which in itself can cause stress and upset stomach for many dogs, especially rescues, then being shouted at is just going to make it worse for him.

To be fair to the puppy, you should give him back to the rescue as soon as they will take him so they have the best chance of finding him another home.

Hard on you unfortunately, but at the moment it doesn't sound as if anyone is getting any pleasure from the situation as it is.

Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 16:19:42

Thanks for your replies. Me and my lo have benefited hugely from having the pup around. She loves him and has a playmate. I've found that my anxiety is so much better now and have made some new friends who also have dogs. My oh works full time so it's really only in the middle of the night when we're constantly woken up when the pup can get shouted at (Sorry I didn't make that clear in my first post) I'm getting used to my oh's complaints about the smells and general mess in the house and I clean constantly to try and help the situation. I'm just feeling a bit worn down by it because i'm knackered.

pigsDOfly Fri 27-May-16 16:45:28

You really don't sound as if you want to rehome the puppy OP, so if you decide to keep it you really need to find a way to get across to your oh that by shouting at the dog he's probably making the dog mess even more.

The dog can't help what's happening, shouting at it is just going to make it frightened and you're going to end up with a nervous adult dog if this continues.

You can't train a dog by yelling at it, well you probably can I suppose, but you're going to end up with major emotional and behavioural issues.

He needs to stop shouting at it or you need to rehome it because you're doing the dog no favours keeping it in an environment in which it's learning to be fearful of one member of the household.

Fearful dogs can become aggressive dogs.

WellErrr Fri 27-May-16 17:04:46

To be fair, your DH didn't want a dog.

He now has one which whines all night and shits all over the house. I can see his point of view (but obviously don't condone how he's coping).

Why is the puppy doing this? Are there any medical issues? Can you crate train it?

I don't think things can continue as they are, but rather than rehome can't you improve the situation?

Gamgee Fri 27-May-16 18:11:39

Hi, so the pup was great at toileting. No messes, awesome at sleeping from 10-7am. Then he got a bug at puppy class so he had a vet trip, followed by eating some of a granola bar (Another vet trip which included a blood test incase he had eaten some raisins) Since then he's had lots of loose poos but not all the time. The night whining has coincided with all this so must be connected. My oh is struggling but yes he didn't want the dog and it's my fault for being selfish. The rescue is great and their behaviourist is going to contact me about the night issues. The stomach problems is something that should get better in time.

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