Can someone hold my hand please. My beloved dog is being pts tomorrow.

(115 Posts)
Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 20:25:37

And my heart is absolutely broken.
He has been in my life 14 years. He is 15 and a half now.
He's been arthritic for a long while and now has kidney problems too I think from the meds.
He is suffering and it's time.
But oh my heart is shattered.
He's my best friend and we have been through so much.
I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone.
Just needed to tell someone who 'gets it'.

sooperdooper Thu 28-May-15 20:28:30

Oh I'm so sorry for you, what a terrible decision to have to have made, but it's for the best as you know, thinking of you and your lovely dog xx

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Thu 28-May-15 20:30:13

I get it, I will hold your hand. We had to make the same decision for our beloved Lab last summer, it is coming up to his one year anniversary and I remember it like it was yesterday. That drive to the vet was the hardest I ever had to make and staying with him while it happened broke my heart but I owed it to him.

Have you got some special things planned for him tomorrow?

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 28-May-15 20:31:25

Oh bless you. flowers

Thinking of you and your lovely dog for tomorrow. xx

TwistAndShout Thu 28-May-15 20:36:38

I get it. Putting our ddog to sleep last year was incredibly hard. She was only 7 and had kidney failure. It will be a heartbreaking time for you. Lots of people don't get it but keep posting where we do. Give yourself lots of time. Thinking of you.

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 20:46:49

Thank you everyone. My eyes are burning from crying.
He's just woken up and I carried him outside where he did his business and then I just sat while he looked around outside. The thought that this time tomorrow he won't be here is unbearable.
The vet is coming over about 11.15 tomorrow morning. I couldn't take him there, he's terrified of going to the vets.
They are going to take him afterwards and he will be cremated and then brought back to me, I don't know when though.
I feel lost already.

bishboschone Thu 28-May-15 20:47:56

I get it, I've had animals all my life and have been affected each and every time I've lost one .. I had my horse ( I had from childhood for 30 years ) pts 7 years ago .. Was awful, and my dear cat had a stroke last year and we had to have him pts... It's utterly heart breaking but with time it's possible to remember them with love and not sadness ... Do you know about Rainbow bridge ? It offers comfort to some .thinking of you . .

mrstweefromtweesville Thu 28-May-15 20:51:48

You are doing what is best for him, to put an end to his suffering.
Ashes back often take much longer than expected. I know people who have waited weeks.
Love to you and to him at this transition.
Your love for him and his for you will live forever. Its a massive contribution you have jointly made to the universe.

EmilyCHN Thu 28-May-15 20:52:10

So sorry OP. It will be the hardest thing you've got through ever. Please stay with him if you can during the final moments. Talk to him, hold him, don't be afraid to ask for a lock of his hair. The vet or nurse will be sure to help you with that. Don't worry you'll get upset or cry or be completely numbed by it all. As a vet who has done this procedure many many times, and also on my own dog I can tell you it's a peaceful process. If it helps please speak to your vet before the procedure to hear exactly what they intend to do so youre as prepared as possible. You could call them before you leave home just to let the practice know so that the staff are ready for you, the waiting area is quiet, or they can let you in the side entrance to avoid a busy waitingroom.
I'm sorry if reading this next bit will upset you (or anyone) but I hope it helps..

. The vet may choose to give him a strong painkiller and sedative (I use ACP and Temgesic) which makes my patients dozy, calm, relaxed but still aware that you're there with them. I give it 10min before the actual putting to sleep drug, usually in a muscle in the back leg. The drug for PTS is given usually in the front leg, through a cannula which they may have sited beforehand. Some vets do, some don't. It depends on the patient. Be prepared for some deep breaths as he goes as the body settles, and his eyes probably won't shut. The process is very quick but please make sure you stay with him for as long as you want.
I'm sure the practice will go through what they offer in terms of burial/cremation advice.
You can read more on the pet bereavement support website run by the blue cross or theralphsite.com
All the very very best for tomorrow. This time tomorrow you'll be feeling drained, empty and a huge sense of loss but hopefully slightly relieved that your dear friend is no longer in any pain. Thank you for doing the right thing for him. flowers

EmilyCHN Thu 28-May-15 20:54:58

Sorry can see you're having it at home and he's being cremated.. That does sound very peaceful that you're saying goodbye where he's happiest. Xx

pigsDOfly Thu 28-May-15 20:55:05

Oh my love.

This is so tough.

Are you going to stay with him? I did when my cats were pts. It was very peaceful and I'm glad I stayed with them as long as I could.

As pp said, keep posting on here. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.

TheoriginalLEM Thu 28-May-15 20:55:18

oh love. sad You are doing the right thing. Letting him have his dignity. Its so so hard. I had to let my first dog go with kidney failure. If im honest, it was 10 years ago and ive never got over it really flowers

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 20:57:21

Please don't post Rainbow Bridge. I couldn't cope right now with that right now. I had my pony pts 7 years ago too and I remember reading it and it's very beautiful but so so sad.
There will be a huge void in my life from tomorrow.

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 21:01:16

I'm so scared for him. I don't want him to be frightened at all.

HeresMyBrightIdea Thu 28-May-15 21:05:51

It really fucking hurts...It's three years since I took my beloved Cav to be PTS. He had MVD, and in the end, his heart was so dodgy that he couldn't let himself sleep, and he couldn't get comfortable. But he wanted to be alive and he had so much personality. We took him to the vets and he had a second wind in the vets, he peed on the Christmas tree, barked at all the dogs...By the time we took him in, I was crying so hard that the vet recommended I took him home until I could cope with losing him. It took me a year and 3 months to move his bowls, and I still have his collars around the house.

You'll feel the loss, and it'll hurt. Rainbow Bridge will probably hurt forever...I haven't read it since, it makes my heart break. I think you almost learn to live knowing that he's not quite with you right now but he's still around, though. You'll remember him, and that becomes a bit less painful. You'll always wish he was back, but you'll know he doesn't have any of the problems he's got at the moment.

It took around two weeks for my dogs ashes to come back. They came in a white box with his name written on in biro - that upset me when I saw it. I stuck a photo of him over it until I could get him something better to "be in". I don't know if that will be too painful for you to think about right now but it helped me to choose something for him again.

I'm so sorry.

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 28-May-15 21:07:16

He won't be love, not scared, not once he's had the sedative.
Do you have family with you?

OttiliaVonBCup Thu 28-May-15 21:09:47

He won't be scared.
He won't suffer anymore.
You'll be there to hold him when he goes.

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 21:14:00

I am genuinely treasuring each of your replies because it really matters to me to know I'm not crazy for hurting this much. I am so honestly sorry you've gone through this too though.
I'm not sure what I believe religion wise and that's what's really scaring me. I don't know where he will be 'going'. I know his body will come back to me in ashes but 'him' the spirit and energy that makes him, him...I'm terrified about where that goes. I like to think heaven so he will be waiting for me.
Does this make any sense?
EmilyCHN thank you for telling me what happens. I didn't know and couldn't bear to ask when I phoned for the appointment. I know you can't know this but will he be scared after the second injection goes in? I don't want him to be frightened and the thought of him panicking breaks me.

OttiliaVonBCup Thu 28-May-15 21:16:30

I'm not sure what happens to people's souls when we die, but I know dogs go straight to heaven.

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 21:16:58

The kids are at their dads. I wanted them to not be here although I think they know something is up. I am going to tell them he passed in his sleep (which is what I wanted to happen, not so I didn't have to do this but because it would have been gentle and because it was his time)
DH will be at work, again I wanted it this way really.
He is my dog and I felt I wanted to be on my own with him rather than it being about anyone else, I know they will be affected though. Kids don't come back until Sunday.

Shitmyhairdressersays Thu 28-May-15 21:17:46

Thank you Ottilia you have no idea how much your words help. X

HeresMyBrightIdea Thu 28-May-15 21:20:02

I'm not sure what I believe, either. I think I'm comfortable believing that he's somewhere, and that we'll be together again at some point.

I have to say, my dog was the biggest wimp going, and he wasn't scared. The vet did his injections and I scruffed his neck and cried a lot. He was calm. He seemed the same as when he's falling asleep on the bed...sleepy and warm, like after a long walk. Then he was gone. The vet closed his eyes and I cried a lot more and then when I was ready, I left the room.

I really don't think he'll panic. Honestly, it'll probably be bloody horrible for you, but he won't suffer. He'll be calm and happy and at home, he'll just slip away at peace.

Candycoco Thu 28-May-15 21:20:04

Oh op my heart breaks for you, I love my dogs so much and totally understand the love you have for him. They are there for us in such a special way and you are right to feel the way you do. Sending you strength for tomorrow x

QueefOfTheDamned Thu 28-May-15 21:21:32

I had to say goodbye to my old boy last month. it's still very raw so I'm actually in tears writing this. He will not be scared. It's very quick and peaceful. I cooked a steak for my boy and he was just finishing it off before the injection went in. He slipped away quietly with his head on my lap. It's a million times more difficult for you than for him.

It's so hard but It really is the last act of kindness we can show them. Will be thinking of you tomorrow flowers

EmilyCHN Thu 28-May-15 21:22:13

MyHairdressersays.. Bless you for having so much courage!! He shouldn't feel scared. The injection itself doesn't hurt. He might feel the needle scratch a tiny bit when it goes in but in my experience the patients are already dealing with so much else that it's a minor sensation in the grand scheme of things. It's v v important you understand what's going to happen so please ask the vet to go through with you in as much detail as you can bear so you are prepared. Even if this means postponing it a day or two (provided doggy's welfare isn't contravened) If you pm me your email I'll ping you a leaflet I made about euthanasia for my practice. You're being so brave though. Try and sleep well.

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