Dog grief

[FiveHoursSleep]

Our lovely lurcher died suddenly last night recovering from an operation to fix her leg that was damaged in a road traffic accident a month ago.
It was unexpected, although of course these things happen. It was no one's fault.
We are all devastated. I can't believe that I will never get to see her running free again and the kids are full of questions and tears.
But I feel most sorry for our remaining dog as he's obviously wondering what happened to his friend. The clinic where she went for her surgery is about 40 minutes away, so I guess I could take him up to say 'goodbye' but she'll have been in storage and I don't want to see her like that.
We will get another rescue dog at some point, (we like to have two) but not just yet.
Has anyone else had a sad dog when they lost their friend suddenly, and how long did it last?

[moosemama]

I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been such a horrible shock for you all.

Our older Lurcher grieved terribly for our girl when we lost her. He developed separation anxiety and was visibly depressed. We upped his walks and took him to different places, rather than just the places he'd walked with her and started doing more clicker training and ball throwing etc with him at home.

It took a good 12 weeks of hard work to get him past the separation anxiety and ultimately it only completely resolved when we bought home a rescue pup after about 4 months. He wasn't particularly pleased with us for bringing a pup into the house though and made it quite clear that he wanted nothing to do with him at first, but he gradually relented and now (pup is 20 months old this month) they're pretty close.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Scuttlebutter]

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss, especially as it was so sudden. Back in 2012, of our then three dogs, we lost two unexpectedly in a 3 month period, one in June the other in September. Our remaining dog was very depressed and I was extremely worried about him even though we took on a couple of new fosters later in the September. It took him till at least the New Year to really come back out of his shell.

When we unexpectedly lost one of our four back in November last year, the remaining three were very quiet and subdued for a week, then gradually have perked up.

Very much like human grief, I think the extent of it depends a great deal on the existing relationship (how long, how close), but it's definitely real. I don't think there's a single answer, just time and gentle healing. Some dogs really benefit from having another companion straight away, others may find it a bit unsettling. When I look back at 2012, I wish we'd actually given him more time by himself but the particular dogs that came in were in an emergency and very unusual situation that wasn't the norm.

Although it's not always possible, whenever we've had dogs PTS at home, we've allowed/encouraged the others to come and say goodbye.

[FiveHoursSleep]

Thank you for the replies. I think some different walks and some more 121 training are good ideas.
Our remaining dog is only 2, so 2 years younger than the one we lost and she's all he's ever known so it's not surprising he's feeling lost.
I'm a great believer in letting them say goodbye if possible but it hasn't been this time.

[FiveHoursSleep]

Another QQ. Would you get rid of her bed?
Our younger dog has taken to sleeping on it but I wonder if it'll just prolong things?

[basildonbond]

I'm so sorry to read your sad news - you must all be grieving
Personally I wouldn't take away her bed - it sounds like your younger dog is getting some comfort from sleeping there and in time her scent will be overlaid by his

[JoffreyBaratheon]

Sorry for your loss. It's really tough when unexpected.

We had two bull terriers, a staffy and an English and they loved eachother. He died suddenly when he was 6 - and I'm afraid she was utterly distraught. She barely ate, and worst of all, she trembled all day, sporadically. It was horrible to see.

I had been told that it helps a dog to come to terms with the loss of its companion if you show it the body. Just before we buried him, we tried to take her down the garden but she refused. She wouldn't look. And the whole rest of her life, she never went in the bottom garden by choice, ever again.

This went on for weeks and in desperation, assuming it might even be woo, tried a herbal supplement from Herbaticus:

Wolle's 1874 (had to look it up it is so long ago I forgot its name)

www.herbaticus.co.uk/page6.html

I had seen it recommended on a dog forum. Truly expected it not to work but I was desperate. And... either it worked, or enough time had passed but anyway she stopped with the shakes and started eating normally again.

She was always a quiet, withdrawn, sweet little soul. We decided not to get another dog though as if it hadn't worked out it would have been disastrous. So we gave her all our attention. And she adjusted. But it took several months maybe even 6 months. She died last year aged 14.

[JoffreyBaratheon]

Oh and I forgot - no keep her bed. It might comfort the other dog. Our staffy had always slept in his crate and bull terrier on sofa. She wasn't crate trained as I got her when she was already an adult, so she never took to the crate. I kept it in the outhouse and now, 8 years on, our new pup loves 'her' crate. I didn't keep his plastic bed as we buried him laying in it, with his favourite blanket and we had a second basket he used as well so our other dog still had that with his scent on.

[atonofwashing]

Sorry to hear about your lovely dog.
What a terrible shock for you.

[AuntieDee]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog - I've been in the same boat and it breaks your heart doesn't it. I foster for Hounds First Sighthound Rescue and if you do consider adopting in the future, please bear them in mind x

[averylongtimeago]

Yes dogs do grieve. I have had this twice. A few years ago we had a pair of Goldies [litter sisters] and when the first one died of cancer age 12, the second really went into decline. lost energy, off her food, we thought we were going to lose her. After a couple of months we got another puppy, [still got her, now 12] and at first the old girl ignored her. But within a couple of days, pup was pinned down, washed all over and the old girl never looked back. She went on to live till 16.

We later got another pup so had 3 dogs for a while, sadly this girl only reached 8 and had to be PTS with cancer. The survivor was soo sad - again off her food but the main thing was she wouldn't talk to us [you know what I mean] we decided that she had seen us carry the other one out, but we hadn't brought her back... After a few months we got another Goldie girl, they are good friends but not as close as the first pair.

[FiveHoursSleep]

Thank you so much to those of you who replied. I am heartbroken in a way that I wasn't when we lost our old one and I am sure the remaining dog is picking up on that too.
I'm not sure whether to get another lurcher or not. She was so, so beautiful and loved to run, but had no recall when she saw something, so every time she went off lead it was stressful.
She was hit by a car while chasing a fox, so this ultimately killed her :(

[honeyroar]

I'm so sorry for your loss, it must have been a shock.

When our big dog died our other dog started dribbling a football up and down the garden. She was really impressive, and went up and down it for hours. Then after two weeks she stopped and would never touch it again. It was like her way of getting her grief out. The only time I noticed a difference in her after that was when we met other dogs on walks. She was terrified and would run metres around them to avoid them. The dog that died was a GSD that was higher in the pecking order than her, and she had obviously got used to him doing the initial meet with new dogs. We ended up getting a cat and she became really close friends with that.

[somewhatavoidant]

Sorry for your loss OP. I lost my beautiful doggie 4 weeks ago. Thought she had been poisoned but it turns out it was heart failure. She was two and a half
Anyhow over the years we've lost a couple of dogs and the remaining ones never showed any signs of grief. On the contrary they seemed to come in to their own! Maybe I have very shallow dogs?!!
I've just taken two puppies from the pound and they do fill the hole a little. It sounds a bit bonkers but I really loved my little buddy, miss her terribly.

[FiveHoursSleep]

Two puppies! Wow, you are brave.
I really miss our girl too. She wasn't the best behaved dog in the world, was a bit food possessive and used to grumble a bit when I moved her off the sofa, but she was always up for a walk and was great at cleaning the floor.
Our remaining dog has become very clingy and anxious, he's never shown signs of separation anxiety before.
Have emailed a few rescues but a lot of them ask for so much detail ( rightly) and I don't feel able to go over the circumstances of our Lurcher's death yet again.
I just want someone to come along with a dog/ puppy and say 'here you go!'

[Rowgtfc72]

Sorry about your lovely girl.
We had our old jack Russell pts in 2013. The other jack Russell is still miserable and still occasionally howls. We got her as a puppy after the old jack so had never been on her own.
She's 13 in April so not getting another dog for company but she does still enjoy treats and cuddles.