Keeping the dogs separate. What is fair to my dog?

[WorkingGirlJem]

Hi everyone, I'm very new to this section of the site but a big lurker

I wonder if anyone can help me with what is becoming a huge issue for me.

I own a 14 month old Newfoundland/German Shepherd cross. He is still intact (at the advice of the breeder and my vet who both suggest that giant dogs aren't castrated til around 2 years of age) but that has not cause me any problems at all.
My boy is well socialised, lead trained and recalls well when off the lead. He responds to commands from myself or my children.
He rarely finds other dogs willing to play with him when at the park due to his size and the exuberant way he greets them, but when he does, he plays well and all is good.

My bf owns a 3 year Visela who is also intact, not well trained and holds very much pack leader in their home. He is dominant (but not agressive) with other dogs Im my opinion his dog is given very high status, being allowed to stand on my bf when he eats, begging for food sitting on the furniture etc.

My bf takes his dog everywhere with him, he won't ever shut him out of a room. The bloody dog even comes in bed with us!
I crate my dog when we eat or when non dog loving visitors come over. Sometimes when he is under my feet he gets a knuckle bone and gets shut in the garden for an hour. My bf would never do this. If his dog even so much as whines , he is up to see what he wants, offering him walks, treats etc.

Anyway, our dogs are very tolerant of each

Now, our dogs get on well on walks and car journeys etc, but have had a couple of growls (one ended in a scrap that my bf had to drag dogs apart) when both dogs are in my home.
These can start out of the blue with only a little trigger - his dog gets on my knee and my dog doesnt like it or my dog comes in carrying a toy and his dog wants it.
We are constantly on our guard. Some evenings all four of us can be piled on the sofa watching tv and suddenly the growling starts and we have to jump up and separate them.

Sorry for such a long winded post, but my question is, since there is no chance of my bf leaving his dog at home when he visits, how unfair is it on my dog to be crated/put in another room/shut in garden/mixture of all 3 during this time?

Incidentally, if others think its ok, I don't have a problem doing it.

[Lilcamper]

Forget all the dominance and pack leader stuff, it's outdated, unhelpful and disproven.

If your dog is used to being crated or put in another room it is fine. Dogs don't have a concept of fairness.

Try and avoid known triggers.

[WorkingGirlJem]

That's helpful, thank you because if I thought my boy felt he was being unfairly treated, I couldn't do it.