Seriously- when will this pain go away

(10 Posts)
JessMcL Fri 13-Jun-14 16:57:15

We lost our dog a week ago now- and this entire week has been hell. I haven't even been able to go to work so i've had to take unpaid leave.

Just feel absolutely terrible.

I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is different for everyone; there is no right or wrong.
Would you like to talk to someone about it? Can you tell us about your dog?
If you'd prefer the phone, the Blue Cross run a pet bereavement line

soddinghormones Fri 13-Jun-14 17:04:15

So sorry Jess - was yours the 14 month old? If so the shock alone will take some time to recover from

In time you'll be able to remember the good things not just the hurt

Owllady Fri 13-Jun-14 17:26:13

Apart from losing your dog you had a huge trauma at the same time and some of it will just be shock coming out. Be kinder to yourself x x

Didn't see your thread.

A huge part of your life has gone. When I lost my horse many years ago I felt as though I was spinning untethered through space. All the routine had been swept away.

I went out and bought another one. Not always the answer for everyone.

I am sorry you are going through this, but time does help to ease the rawness.

JessMcL Fri 13-Jun-14 17:52:25

Did it help having another? We are thinking about it- just really not sure right now whether it will help or not and don't want to buy another and feel I can't look after it because it brings back bad memories.

God knows what i'd be like if I lost one of my kids.

Very much having another horse as it was a way of life.

I don't know the circumstances of your loss I'm not sure but I would always think another animal helps the grieving process.

Primrose123 Fri 13-Jun-14 17:58:14

I lost a very special dog in 1999, and still think about her a lot. I'd had her for fifteen years, and couldn't imagine my life without her. Like you, I took time off work and thought I would never get over it. I did, it just gets a bit less painful each day. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life.

I put together a photo album with all my photos of her, which seemed to help.

At the time I didn't want to ever have another dog, because I didn't want to go through all that again. After a while though, the house felt empty without a dog, and we did get another one, and it has all been fine. It does help to have another one, I think.

moosemama Fri 13-Jun-14 18:03:34

It took us quite a while to get over our girl when we went through something similar. My dh took it really badly, went into shock and had to take a week off work. I wasn't able to take time off and to be honest keeping busy helped, at least when I was away from the house.

We didn't get another dog straight away, but we did start making plans to as our other lad wasn't happy as an only dog. We started researching breeds and breeders and went on a waiting list for a puppy (it was a breed that meant we ended up waiting a year for a suitable pup to become available). That gave us time to grieve and come to terms with opening our hearts to another pup.

Please don't feel you couldn't look after another. It was a freak accident - and I have no doubt you would put everything possible in place to make sure it couldn't happen again.

Our girl was being looked after by someone else when it happened, but I don't blame them. They took their eyes off her for a second while she was in what they believed was their secure back garden - she had sussed an escape route and was gone in the blink of an eye - no-one's fault, just a terrible set of circumstances coming together.

Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time and space to grieve and deal with the shock.

As for whether or not to get another dog, it's a totally personal decision, but bear in mind, whilst another dog won't be in any way a replacement, they may help to heal some of your family's heartache. Perhaps, when you're ready you could have a family meeting and a frank discussion as to how everyone feels about it?

MitchellMummy Fri 13-Jun-14 18:23:20

A week is no time at all. The pain will gradually disappear, hopefully, although you'll never forget. Sometimes you may think you're doing OK and then you see a similar dog and burst out crying. I've always had dogs here when I've lost one, so there's still been dogs to look after. I wish you well, it's tough. x

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