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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

The doghouse

Friend reporting concerns with my dog, wants me to see her 'expert'

46 replies

Armadale · 26/05/2014 11:59

My dog is about 5yrs old, we have had him a year and a half.

I am pregnant.

The lady who we got the dog from came round yesterday to tell us she thought we needed to see her friend who is a behaviourist as our dog is not going to be safe around a baby.

She said that our dog's problems are due to us not being firm with him and so he thinks he is the dominant member of the household, which has caused all sorts of problems in his behaviour. We are being arrogant in not seeing that our behaviour needs to change and putting a baby at unnecessary risk.

To say we were horrified is an understatement.

There is a huge back story & I don't want to drip feed, so sorry this might be long: this lady rescues stray street dogs from Eastern Europe and places them in local homes. We agreed to have a dog for her -he had been a homeless stray but we were told he was great with people and other dogs except could be uneasy around small terrier types.

In reality he is frightened of anyone he doesn't know, and is aggressive with ALL other dogs unless he is introduced to them very gradually. (We have got to know a few other owners of these dogs and they all have similar problems- but the lady is slightly in denial about this.)

The way we handle to dog currently is that he is walked, always on lead, around the streets rather than the local fields, as this avoids the risk of off lead dogs bounding up to him, which will result in him at first growling but would progress to snapping and then biting if we didn't extricate him.

I ask strangers not to touch him which avoids any problem with people, as it is only being touched that seems to scare him.

Of course it would be nice if we had the kind of dog we could play in the park with and sit at our feet in beer pub gardens, but he isn't. We have taken him to two different dog training classes, but the amount of dogs and people was clearly beyond him, he made no progress but got more wound up each time, so we have just accepted him as he is and just make sure he isn't a risk.

Twice he has snapped at people in our house- both family members who had come to visit. Both had a sort of 'all dogs love me attitude' so repeatedly tried to stroke him when he had moved away from them several times, until backed by them into a corner or doorway, when he air snapped at them.

To be honest, I took this as a good sign, the dog was obviously distressed, had tried to get away and still didn't actually bite but just warn them. He has never otherwise been aggressive to a human.

If my niece (3 yrs old) visits he is supervised closely and she is not allowed to touch the dog, and after a few minutes the dog generally takes himself off to the bedroom for a nap after a bit as she is a bit loud when running about playing.

Obviously the dog would not be allowed any unsupervised contact with our baby, as basic common sense, but other than this we didn't feel he was a particular risk over and above the obvious fact that dogs are animals not people, can not be expected to react as people and should never be put to the test.

But her visit has worried us and made us question ourselves and whether we are being naive.

DH thinks the lady has just panicked when she found out I was pregnant as she knows on some level that these dogs are not really right, and she is also in thrall to this new friend, (the behaviourist), who specialises in 'training owners to be true pack leaders' as this sort of idea does reinforce her thinking that all her dogs are lovely and their difficulties are the fault of the owners.

My temptation is to either to agree with DH and ignore her, or maybe get someone in to help other than her friend who sounds as bonkers as her

Apparently some of the things we are doing wrong include letting the dog sit on the sofa, feeding it at 7pm in the evening whether my husband is home from work or not, and stroking it in the house, as in dog packs it is only the dominant dog who is groomed in the den(!)

Frankly this just sounds like rubbish to me I'm not sure someone who believes this stuff is necessarily the way to go if we do need someone.

Any advice gratefully received. If anyone had a personal experience of a proper behaviourist that would be particularly useful, we are in South London.

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SpicyPear · 26/05/2014 13:33

Hi OP. Do not use her friend. You are right, she is spouting utter nonsense. Those pack leader theories have been thoroughly debunked. Your dog is terrified, not dominant, as you know.

However, from what you have described I would have concerns about how they will cope with a baby and you need to be preparing them now for it. Things like cds of crying etc. I would recommend that you get a behaviourist involved who is a member of the APBC. They have a list on their website. If you are prepared to be a bit more specific about where in Sth London (pm if you want) I can ask about. That's my patch.