My dear old dog has just been put to sleep

(28 Posts)
LucyTheValiant Sat 26-Apr-14 16:31:14

He was 13, and the best dog anyone could ask for.

For the past couple of months he'd been going to the vet weekly to see if it was time - he's had arthritis for a couple of years but was managing until recently, and he developed a heart problem too. The vet said she was surprised he lasted this long, she was expecting to have to put him down weeks ago, and she thinks he held on because he loved us. I know she was trying to be kind but that made me feel worse, like the poor thing was miserable and we forced him sad And even up until the end he was so happy, wagging his tail all trusting, no idea what was going on. On the way to the vet he hung his head out of the window and was all excited to go in the car and all the while we were taking him to be killed.

I know it was the right thing and I wouldn't want him to suffer but I still feel like we have betrayed him. Is that silly?

I'm so sorry for your loss sad, sounds like a wonderful dog

You know what they say: 'better a day too early than a day too late'

Your dogs pain was bearable enough to make it to the vet with a smile today but was clearly going down hill

You've done the right thing but so sorry you've had to say goodbye

Aw Lucy, I'm so sorry sad

I had exactly the same decision to make a few months ago with my gorgeous 15 year old boy. I guess the decision was made easier in that he was in a lot of pain sad

You did the right thing, you know you did. And you did it because you love him.

I think the vet probably meant what she said to be comforting in a bit of a hamfisted way. (there would have been no tail wagging if he was miserable).

There's no easy way to get through this time but just remember that you loved him and cared for him, and he loved you and you put his needs before yours in making the decision.

I'm discovering 'Guilt' is an unavoidable part of this process -however unwarranted it may be. <still feels guilty about stuff I maybe should or shouldn't have done>

Sending you big hugs and flowers and RIP to your beloved boy

Threesteps xxx

MadamBatShit Sat 26-Apr-14 16:41:53

Oh, I feel your pain.. No you are not silly, you loved your dog and he clearly loved you very much too..
He sounds very sweet, great that you had such a special relationship, and wanted to make each other happy.
I'm sorry for your loss, you did well.

OriginofSymmetry Sat 26-Apr-14 16:44:04

Ah that horrible feeling of being an executioner. I promise you won't feel like that for long and you'll realise you've done a kind thing for your old boy.

LucyTheValiant Sat 26-Apr-14 16:50:16

Thanks everyone. I knew I would be upset but I hadn't expected to feel so guilty. I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore but I miss him. He was such a good dog.

And I'm pretty pissed of at FIL who keeps banging on about it. 'Oh well Labradors do have hip problems you know, they are too inbred, you should have got a mongrel, they suffer less...' He's usually great, I don't know why he's being so insensitive!

I'm sorry about your dog too, threesteps.

Greydog Sat 26-Apr-14 16:53:48

I'm so sorry about this. You will feel horrid for a while, but eventually you'll realise that you have done the right thing, the kindest thing. I had to take my cat some years ago, and felt so guilty - but I know I did the right thing for her. (Sharp contrast to my poor Mum who had to hang on and would have definately preferred the dignity of an injection)

MitchellMummy Sat 26-Apr-14 17:33:48

So very sorry. Of course you didn't betray him. He sounds like a much loved dog. I still shed tears over mine who died 12 years ago, but the pain does ease. RIP. x

Owllady Sat 26-Apr-14 19:06:42

We all feel guilty Lucy, it's normal sad
I'm so sorry x x x

mineofuselessinformation Sat 26-Apr-14 19:14:38

You didn't take him to be killed, you took him, out of love and care, to put an end to his suffering.
I'm sorry you feel so bad about it. Dogs have a way of getting right into your heart don't they?

Lilcamper Sat 26-Apr-14 19:18:34

13 is a good age for a Lab, he went surrounded by love. Hugs to you.

AvoidingEasterDIY Sat 26-Apr-14 19:32:29

I'm so sorry sad It is a very very hard thing to do, but it is selfless, you shouldn't feel guilty - though most of us, illogically, do sad

You did what was right for your old boy and allowed him to go while he could still be happy and before he was in permanet pain... you did the kindest, most loving thing you could.

LucyTheValiant Sun 27-Apr-14 14:05:06

Thanks all. I feel a bit better about it today - more confident that I did the right thing. Very sorry for all of you who've felt similar, but thanks for holding my hand smile

ChippingIn Sun 27-Apr-14 14:18:43

I'm glad you are feeling more confident that you did the right thing, because you did. He wouldn't have known anything and he had a good long life with you and that's what you need to hang onto. You are the one now missing him and feeling the heartbreak & pain, not him, you spared him the pain - it's all we can do.

LucyTheValiant Sun 27-Apr-14 15:33:53

Thank you ChippingIn.

Tootyfilou Sun 27-Apr-14 16:15:54

Wanted to send you a big hug and lots of sympathy

It's the most awful thing to have to do, but you did it out of love for your boy. It's the last act if love we can do for them.

I have been in this situation recently, we had to have our darling 8yr old Goldie PTS after the shock diagnosis of an in curable tumor.

It's heartbreaking. Be kind to yourself and remember you will feel grief like any other bereavement , try to avoids people who say 'it's just a dog'.

" its a good age" also really annoys me, it's never enough time really is it.
Thinking of you x

Wordsaremything Sun 27-Apr-14 16:20:58

Glad too you are feeling a little better today. You did the right thing for your lovely boy. But it's so hard. I well up even thinking about it.

Wordsaremything Sun 27-Apr-14 16:22:42

Tooty what a lovely message. You're right-forever wouldn't be long enough would it.

Awks Sun 27-Apr-14 18:58:52

I'm so sorry, awful isn't it - they only live long enough to break your heart. Be gentle with you xxx

Snowfire Sun 27-Apr-14 19:39:17

I had my lovely boy pts yesterday as well so I'm feeling your pain.

I've been looking through puppy photos today which has helped, dogs love you so unconditionally it's really hard to say goodbye. I know you feel guilty, I do too but if you had waited until you could see he was suffering it would have been so much worse all round. Well done for being brave, big hugs! wine

TigsytheTiger Sun 27-Apr-14 21:17:29

I had to have my beloved rhodesian ridgeback put to sleep 4 weeks ago, he was only 8.5 years and had a massive seizure and after an MRI scan was diagnosed with a brain tumour and given 4/6 weeks to live. It was heartbreaking and only a fellow dog owner can truly appreciate how it feels. I felt guilty because I kept thinking he could have had another week but the reality is he was put to sleep to stop his suffering and that is an act of love and kindness. Don't feel guilty, you loved him and put him first until the end.

I couldn't bear the quiet house and have just rehomed a 3 year old ridgeback, we have had him a week now and he is totally gorgeous. It's not for everyone to get another dog so quickly but for us it helps and has been a positive thing.

Tis shit.

No easy way through it except you and he know that he was loved.

It is all part of sharing our lives with animals.

Hope you're feeling okay Lucy x

Snowfire's post made me post again. The night after we lost him, we looked through all our pics of Fred, and my lovely ex DP made Fred his very own Facebook page, with pics and vids basically documenting his whole life - right from leaving Battersea Dogs Home to his last sleep.

It really helped me. Seeing in pictures what a lovely life he'd had, and how happy he was. It made the whole grieving process more positive, despite tear-sodden, if that makes sense?

I e-mailed the link to Battersea and they included his story in the 'after rehoming' section. We've had lovely messages from people who never knew him. It helps cast a happier shadow on losing him.

Anyhoo, sending everyone who lost a loved hound lots of love. It's heart breaking flowers

Threesteps xx

Trollsworth Sun 27-Apr-14 23:36:52

Lucy. He had a dogs life with you.

He lived his whole life safe and loved. Dogs are not stoic, he'd have fussed if he was suffering. He enjoyed his life to its last moments, and were there at the end x

KeatsiePie Sun 27-Apr-14 23:43:07

Oh Lucy I'm so sorry you had to do that. It was absolutely the right thing to do but it is so, so hard.

And part of what makes it so hard is that dogs are so happy by nature; they are happy just to be with you, even when they are in pain. So it's very hard to let them go early, before they are in so much pain that they can't be happy, b/c it feels like it's too early.

But it was a real mercy that you let him go before he began to really suffer. I really think, from experience, that it would have been worse to wait -- then he would have suffered physically and suffered mentally from trying to be happy and failing. Dogs don't know how to not keep trying to wag and romp and follow you around. So it upsets them when they are too unwell to do it. Better for both of you not to get to that point.

I'm so sorry, it is just the hardest thing to do, and the loss is huge thanks

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