feeling sorry for myself :-( how to convince DH

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

Having spoken to some of you ladies re what dog i decided on a lurcher (originally a greyhound) so i have spoken to dh and he is addiment its he who will end up doing all the walking poo collecting etc as he always end up doing it with all the animals apparently he,s a soft touch when it comes to the pets to say im peeved doesn't cut it... i clean the hamster the guinea pig treat the cats flea them take them to vets etc! ok so we had chooks for a few years and he did alot with them but only because he always got out first (he had to pass them on the way to his workshop at 7am every morning whilst im inside getting dc,s ready for school i would normally do chooks at 9 when i got home from school run but they would already be done grrrr) same with a dog it would go out in the morning and get walked when i got bk from the school run walked again during the day (i work from home) then again at night once dc's in bed so i fail to see why he would be doing it grrr! (can you tell im crosss?) i love dh dont get me wrong but last night he really got my goat!! any advice on how to make him see? i thought fostering to begin with but that would require him coming round to idea to begin with
Please help x

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

i wonder also if it makes a difference that DH never had any pets when he was a child were as we had many fish, hamsters, gerbils, cats and a dog you know so for me having a dog with an active loving family is a no brainer im thinking with my heart and gut he is thinking with his well..... something else i suspect

[DoctorTwo]

Lurchers are easy to look after. A friend has one, she walks him in the morning, takes him to work (she has a shop) where he alternates between sleeping and greeting his favourite customers, walks him at lunchtime, then one more time around 6pm. Each time for about 20 minutes. They're brilliant pets.

[mistlethrush]

Have you set out a timetable of who does what and when the dog will fit in? (Make sure that you factor the children in too... and put down who is doing what with children / pets / work at any time). Can your work fit around a dog OK?

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

mistlethrush hi iv just done as you said re time table if i post it can you have a look and give your opinion?
6.30 - 1st ds up
7.00 - all up
8.00 - DH work
8.30-9.00 - school run
9.00 - me home
10.00 - first appointment home/mobile
2.00 - last appointment done
3.00-3.45 - school run
3.45 - me dc,s home
5.15/30 - DH home we all have dinner
7.00 - dc,s bed
7.30 - if i have an evening apt its now
9.00 - latest i finish

now you know my day inside out my plan would be let the dog out first thing to garden 6foot fence locked gate no probs there leave dog with kong/chew for school run come home go for 30min walk come home set up for appointment (if i havnt already done so, treatment area can be shut off from dog) i really only have 2 apts during the day 10 till 11.30 then 12 till 1.30/2 so would take dog out for a quick jaunt and do day to day stuff between with a proper walk just before school run. Then school run once again leave dog with chew thing come home do the whole dinner child thing kids to bed at 7. Usually i only have a few evening apts a week and nearly all at home from 7.30 till 8.30/9.00 i would take the dog out after this unless of course Dh wanted to take it whilst i was working (note he would not HAVE to as he puts it he could go to bed for all i care grump! )

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

also this day would be classed as a very busy day most days would quieter like today im free all day.... and so longing for a lovely lurcher to keep me company i will work on dh this weekend and perhaps see about getting a home check mistlebrush but i dont want to do it unless dh is on board 100% its a 15yr+ commitment and it needs to be right for everyone [sigh]

[mistlethrush]

As long as you can make sure that you have a hour to do a good walk and a couple of 20mins here and there to do some training or playing in the garden, which it appears that you have, I can't see anything wrong with your plan. My lurcher LOVES going out in the evening (even if its dark) because there are more interesting things to see normally (cats, foxes) and even if you don't see them, you can still look for them!

Are weekends OK too? One of the things that makes me really appreciate having a dog is that she needs to go for a walk EVERY day, whatever the weather - so DS has to come out too. He occasionally complains, but once he's out he enjoys it and is generally a lot happier and in a better mood after a good walk.

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

weekend are good we always go out sat and sun normally all to half the day be it in the woods or by the beach both are on our doorstep kids are used to walking and like you say sometimes grumble but always end up loving it. Do you know, one of the things that would mean a lot to me would be the excuse to leave the house and go for a walk on my own in the evening as a release and to have my lovely doggy companion with me (untill dc,s are old enough that dh and i can do it together). We are an all weather family and like nothing better that wet walks [sigh] really need to make dh see the light. I guess im most peeved that i got the impression that dh thinks he does it all when in fact all though he is the bread winner i do everything else the man gets his breakfast made for him for gods sake! and i love it dont get wrong im very lucky to have my life, but i was shocked at him saying this i feel a sit down discussion coming on.
Rant over

[mistlethrush]

Sit down with him and show him your proposition.

You will probably find that, if you do get a dog, it will decide to fall deeply in love with DH when you get it

I wouldn't go for too young a dog though - find one that's got past most of the puppy stage!

[mothersmilkandherchickenseggs]

your right it probably will you know, I would like a one between 1 and 3yrs I think thank you for all your help xx