can someone explain to me what goes through the mind of someone doing this?

(54 Posts)
YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 22:44:01

my sister (I wont call her dsis because she just isn't anymore).

works full time 6 days a week- out from 8-6pm with one late night a week. she is 25 but lives with my parents who both work full time aswell. 2 weeks ago she arrived on my doorstep with a puppy- I assumed she had found it somewhere near my house and was asking if I recognised it- no it was her new puppy- apparently my aunt's dog got pregnant by some unknown dog hmm (don't get me started on that) and the pups were going free to good homes angry angry angry so sister went and took one and now it is spending at least 20 hours a day in a shed at 11 weeks old amongst old bikes and toys. I went out today as we were out that way and took it out to play outside and it stank of piss. she has bought lovely pink and purple accessories for it and balls and chew toys- not much fun when it has no-one to play with all bloody day long! we stayed for tea at my parents and sister arrived home after work with a couple of new toys- talked to the dog for a few minutes and then took her dinner up to her room for the rest of the evening leaving my parents to take it out to the loo when needed. so I asked her what the long term plan was for the dog, was she to be a house dog when toilet trained? no, she'll move from the shed to the dog run (there is a kennel in it) when she's a bit bigger (it's nearly winter!) and was confused when my dad suggested it would need a bed to lie on in the shed when the other went to the kennel. so I said what about all that stuff in the shed- it's going to hurt itself. the answer? "well dad would need to get it all cleared out wouldn't he?" shock I asked about training- is she going to do any? yes she's going to bring it down to her friend's house so it can watch her dog and pick up some commands hmm

this is a supposedly intelligient person who did a diploma in animal husbandry when she left school and has notions of following a particular career path to do with horses but I just cannot get my head around how unbelievably stupid and unthinking she is being about this! what is wrong with her? doesn't she realise that dogs need walks and stimulation and training and company and warmth! why on earth has she gotten it? I want to steal it away and bring it here to live and be happy and stimulated. but she hears none of what I said about it needing all these things. she thinks she is some sort of animal expert because of the course she did and that I have no clue what i'm talking about. I am no expert by far but I know the basics- tbh I thought most people understood the basics. it appears not! I am so furious about this tbh. she comes to my town everyday for work and it is an understatement to say we do not get on but I am thinking of telling her to bring her pup into my house every morning and collect it in the evenings. at least then it will have someone with it all day to toilet train, walk, stimulate it. it will have my dog for dog company, my cat to get it used to cats and my dcs to get it used to dcs who are very used to being around dogs. at least that way it would have some respite from the monotony of sitting in a fucking shed for the majority of it's day. poor thing. she'll likely turn up her nose if I suggest this but I know she wouldn't let me have the dog permanently so it's the best I can think of to help it. (I don't particularly want another dog but would take it just to get it away from that life.)

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 22:47:17

just to add- my parents were not consulted before the dog was got and my dad isn't happy about it. he cant understand why she has it either.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 16-Sep-13 22:53:03

Oh poor pup. sad

It would be a great kindness to the pup if you could look after it during the day, and get it trained - better for it now, and will make it easier for her to rehome it which surely will happen.

Perhaps you can get your dad onside with this idea?

beachyhead Mon 16-Sep-13 22:57:46

That's hideous.... I guess you know something needs to be done, but do you think you will be able to kidnap the dog away? If not, I suggest reporting them all and see if the RSPCA are able to talk sense into them.

This makes me so mad, but at least the pup has you looking out for it.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 22:58:35

yes I think my dad would agree it was better aswell. I am a real sop when it comes to animals (I cant kill spiders) and sometimes I know that what I expect as good enough for an animal is not always what others think- I know farm dogs stay outside etc but it's just not my way and I know that's not everyone's way but this is just wrong IMO. it's a tiny pup- it was freezing today and it's going to be colder tonight. even if she had it sleep in the house and brought it here during the day. at least it would be warm.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:01:50

would RSPCA get involved? it has food and water and shelter and pretty purple collar hmm

i'm going to try and lean on my dad a bit. as I said- sister and I do not get on so anything coming from me just wouldn't be listened to but she might take it from him. dad seemed a bit despairing this evening.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:04:41

I've just texted her 'offering' to puppysit at mine during the days- I've tried to sell it as a bit of company for my dog.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:10:56

response to text: she needs to get used to it (being on her own all day). when she's more settled I wana be able to leave her out while at work (so not even in the dog run, just roaming free).

how the hell do you respond to such a sawdust brained mindset? I feel like just yelling "why the hell do you have a dog!"

ErrolTheDragon Mon 16-Sep-13 23:13:53

Hope she takes you up on it. Poor pup - you're right, it shouldn't be alone like that and it shouldn't be out in the cold. Its not a full-grown farm dog.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:14:34

this is going to end with a dead dog. they live in the countryside. this dog is part collie. it's going to get knocked over or stolen or shot by some farmer for chasing sheep. idiot.

Report her to the RSPCA - this puppy is being neglected.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:40:40

it's uspca here. i'm going to call them in the morning. this has really upset me.

basically she has acquired a dog for the sole purpose of running round the outside of her house all day so she can feel good about some sense of fucking 'loyalty' or wit to stay there that she has trained the dog to have.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 23:41:48

or that she thinks she has trained it to have.

pigsDOfly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:04:14

Yes please report this OP.

Leaving a puppy in a shed all day is not acceptable. At that age it should be fed 3 or 4 times a day, how is she doing that if it's on its own all day. Add to that stinking of urine when you take it out of the shed, well definitely a case of neglect imo. Heartbreaking, poor little thing.

LadyTurmoil Tue 17-Sep-13 00:12:32

I can't believe anyone, never mind someone who's done a course in animal husbandry, would do a thing like this. It's likely to get really sick because of sitting in it's own urine plus the cold at night, never mind growing up (if it does) to be a completely unsocialised, crazy dog who will be impossible to rehome when she gets tired of it (and she will) because of a complete lack of training etc.

Your parents just have to tell her it's unacceptable and it's their house and they just won't have it. I'm afraid it's not good enough that they are allowing her to do this. I really believe it's their responsibility to be the adults in this situation as she clearly isn't!

YoureBeingADick Tue 17-Sep-13 00:27:27

they wont tell her. they'll just roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders and say 'she'll do what she wants no matter what we tell her' mum is not a pet person at all and takes nothing to do with it. dad agrees with me that it's not fair to have it out there all day but wont say anything to her. she yells and shouts and knows mum will tell dad just to drop the issue to keep the peace and he will- because he will never win. I did about 8 months worth of research on how to care for a dog before I got mine. I took him to puppy training classes and followed all the socialisation guidelines. I was perceived as being the dog equivalent of PFB. maybe I was- I don't care. I have the best natured, well excercised, fed, nurtured pet who is a brilliant addition to our family. he is a joy to have in the house (he doesn't go in the garden unless I am there- outside is not his home) I do not understand getting a dog to look at sitting out in the rain from the warmth of your living room. what does a person get from that? what does she get from sitting at work thinking of her 11 week old pup sitting on her own in a cold dark shed all day? how can she even tell people she has a dog and keep a straight face? she doesn't have a dog- there is a dog at her house. grrr. I#m getting relly angry again? where does the logic come in? there is no logic. and she is so bloody arrogant to think she knows better than anyone else.

LadyTurmoil Tue 17-Sep-13 00:31:29

Is there anyone else in the family/friends who can talk to her if she won't listen to you, mum or dad?

When did she do the animal husbandry course - was it recent? Was thinking someone from there could talk to her and explain that what she's doing is totally out of order.

Do you have local dog wardens where you live? Could they talk to her?

namechangeforareasonablereason Tue 17-Sep-13 00:36:57

TAKE THE DOG she does not deserve to have it, see if she comes to get it.

pigsDOfly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:38:31

I'd be very tempted to just go to the house and take it home with me and tell her she's not having it back. Let her scream and shout all she likes.

She sounds rather spoilt tbh and your parents are just letting her get away with murder (literally if this poor little thing gets ill and dies).

YoureBeingADick Tue 17-Sep-13 00:38:33

I was thinking of talking to her friend who she says she will bring the puppy to to learn from friends dog. friend (and her whole family) from what I gather - I have never visited her home- seems very animal oriented, the dogs live in their house with them, go on holiday with them, go everywhere with them and from what sister and friend herself tells me their dogs are extremely well trained. friends job is caring for small animals. so I had thought of talking with her and asking if she could have a word as sister seems to have friend on a pedestal WRT animal related stuff (I think they met on the course- it was about 5ish years ago) but I know sister will have introduced puppy to friend and friend knows sister works all day etc so i'm wondering if she doesn't think it's a big deal. I would be surprised going on what I know of her but if it was something she disagreed with I would have expected her to advise sister otherwise. they are close as far as I can tell so would be surprised at friend not giving sister better advice if she found a problem with what sister is doing. so does that mean she thinks it's ok? confused

pigsDOfly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:39:37

Sorry cross post with namechange

YoureBeingADick Tue 17-Sep-13 00:39:48

she is very spoilt. I was actually thinking I could just go out tomorrow and take the pup when she is at work.

YoureBeingADick Tue 17-Sep-13 00:42:59

she absolutely would come to get it. she would go mad with me. i'm going to text her again in the morning and try and appeal to a well buried better nature. if I send her a link to a website (any reliable sources she couldn't dispute?) with advice for caring for a pup that might invoke a bit of guilt or something? make her rethink.

pigsDOfly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:44:06

If you're will to do that OP, sounds like a good idea. As long as she doesn't report it stolen. Is that likely?

pigsDOfly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:46:14

Keep cross posting, type too slowly.

Keep us updated and let us know if you get anywhere with her. Otherwise def. report to authorities.

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