My beautiful lab is really ill.

(134 Posts)
dogsagoodun Wed 24-Jul-13 19:38:19

He's not been himself for a couple of weeks; off his food and lethargic. I just put it down to the heat. He was drinking plenty and still seemed ok.

Today he emptied his bowels all over the dining room floor and I just knew. I called DH to come.home and take him to the vets. The vet said he is a very poorly dog. He thinks hepatitis or liver cancer. He's having a scan tomorrow. He said he's going to get very poorly over the next couple of weeks and actually couldn't believe how lively he was. My brave boy.

I feel so sad and scared.

IfUSeekAmy Wed 14-Aug-13 10:02:44

Hi dogs and mom, hope you are both ok. We got a new puppy on Sunday. 8wk old black lab, forgotten what hard work puppies are! Hopefully he and my older lab will be great friends and fill the void Barni has left behind. The house still feels wrong without her here and my 2yr old DD talks about her and says 'where Barni?' Which is hard but makes me happy that Barni is not forgotten even though she's not here with us.

momnipotent Thu 01-Aug-13 12:12:48

Hugs to both of you. Three weeks yesterday since my old boy went and I KNOW he had a good life with us but still feel randomly guilty over various things. It sucks. sad

dogsagoodun Thu 01-Aug-13 11:46:45

Struggling too Amy. Don't feel bad. I feel bad about so many things but ultimately I've got to hold onto the fact that he had a great life with us. He was loved and he knew it. Try to hold on to the good memories. Be kind to yourself. It's truly horrible, but we will get there one day at a time. Pm me if you want to..

Thinking of you.

IfUSeekAmy Thu 01-Aug-13 11:12:22

I've got one of my mums dogs to stay, a Labradoodle, and my Labrador seems so much brighter with her here. I feel so guilty that I didn't go to the vet now with Barni, I couldn't face it but now I feel selfish and I put myself above what was the right thing to do and I left her to die alone in an unfamiliar place with people she didn't know. I cried so much last night thinking about what I've done and apologising to her in my head. I wish I was stronger and I just took her myself and stayed with her. Hope you are coping better than me at the moment.

IfUSeekAmy Thu 01-Aug-13 11:06:01

How are you feeling dogs?

IfUSeekAmy Thu 01-Aug-13 11:05:32

Stupid phone *d

IfUSeekAmy Thu 01-Aug-13 11:05:20

How are you now *d

Byebyebucket Tue 30-Jul-13 23:23:38

Hope link just posted works ....
Thought it may be something that will complement the scrap book memory idea already mentioned on the thread x x x

Byebyebucket Tue 30-Jul-13 23:21:37
dogsagoodun Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:14

Thanks momnipotent. You're right, there's nothing more we could have done. Off to hopefully get some sleep now. You take care.

momnipotent Tue 30-Jul-13 21:07:51

*big hug! Don't want to be sending any bugs anywhere.

momnipotent Tue 30-Jul-13 21:01:26

sad

It is so terribly hard, and made harder because most people don't get it and can't understand because he was "just" a dog.

It didn't sound to me like you could have done more but I do understand that guilt, I also beat myself up over "could have done more" when there was literally nothing more I could have done. If there had been anything I know I would have mortgaged the house to do it, but there was nothing. From what you've said it sounds like there is nothing else you could have done either.

Have a good cry tonight and know that it will become more manageable in time. It won't mean you have forgotten him but that you have learned to live with the loss.

I am sending you a bug hug.

dogsagoodun Tue 30-Jul-13 20:35:25

I'm struggling tonight. DH is away with work and it's the first time I've been home alone without Charlie here. He always made me feel safe.

This pain is awful. I forget momentarily and then I remember and hits like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach. I can't talk about him without crying. I can't get on with daily life even though I have to.

He's being forgotten too quickly by people who don't really get it.
I feel guilt that I could have done more.

I would give anything for one last cuddle right now.

IfUSeekAmy Tue 30-Jul-13 14:03:27

Sorry for your loss too mom The verse you posted was so lovely, it makes me cry so much when I read it. I sent it to my mum too and she said the same. I keep thinking the same as you, that Sunday morning she was walking around the garden and then we went out for an hour came home and she had messed all over her bed and she couldn't stand up when I washed her. And I keep looking at the clock today thinking she was still here this time yesterday. Took my other dog to the park just now but he's so quiet today and the kids are so matter of fact about it and just say 'has Barni died now?' And that sets me off again. Hugs to you

momnipotent Tue 30-Jul-13 12:10:53

I find I am obsessed with reliving the last few days of his life every week. Every Saturday morning I remember how I took him down to the lake the Saturday before he died. Every Sunday how he wanted to go to the dog park the Sunday before he died and he knew the way there so off we went. Every Monday I remember that the Monday of that week was the last good day he had with us. Every Tuesday I relive him lying on his mat and refusing all food and not able to get up. Every Tuesday night I remember that in spite of how weak he was he still managed to struggle in to sleep with me that night. Every Wednesday i relive the last trip to the vet. sad

It is harder for me now (three weeks on) than it was at the time. We had had the cancer diagnosis for a month when he died, in that month I had run myself ragged trying to do something for him. Surgery and chemo were not options so I changed his diet and made all his food from scratch, he got a separate walk from all the other dogs so that he could just go at whatever pace he chose, and I had all kinds of supplements to try and prolong the inevitable. I would be stressed everytime I left the house- if he was with me I would be worried a tumour would rupture while we were walking and there would be a crisis in the middle of nowhere and if he wasn't with me I would worry that something would happen while I was gone. The only time I could almost relax was when I was working in the office and he was there and I could see for myself that he was still with me. He went off his food the week before he died so then every mealtime became a struggle to try and get something into him.

After all that my initial feeling on that last day was mosty relief that I didn't need to worry about him anymore. I was very sad of course but I had also known it was coming so it wasn't unexpected and I had already cried a lot in that month. I find it is much harder now, the relief is gone and all that is left is sadness.

SallyBear Tue 30-Jul-13 11:45:43

It hits you at weird times. I was like that for ages, but since we did the tree planting in the garden over Sally's ashes its lessened the hurt and grief.

dogsagoodun Tue 30-Jul-13 10:48:37

Oh Amy, I know. It's just utterly shit. I'll hang around this thread so we can support each other.

IfUSeekAmy Tue 30-Jul-13 10:39:39

Herbs? Sorry, I'm crying so much I can't write!

IfUSeekAmy Tue 30-Jul-13 10:39:12

How are you today dogs? I hardly slept last night, I feel like a part of me has died now my dog has gone. I've had her since I was 17 and she was 7 when my first DD was born and had never been around babies or children much but she was so good with all of my children. I washed her collar earlier and I've hung it up so I can see it every time I go in the kitchen. Thinking of Charlie and you dogs

dogsagoodun Tue 30-Jul-13 10:37:39

Struggling Amy, to be honest. Hope you can find some strength today.

dogsagoodun Tue 30-Jul-13 10:36:06

Thanks too much. I miss that little nudge with his nose which meant cuddle me! They're such sensitive, beautiful animals. We feel blessed to have had him in our lives. He enriched us all and we are better people because of him. Our legacy to Charlie will be to live our lives to the full.

IfUSeekAmy Tue 30-Jul-13 10:34:46

How are you today dogs? I hardly slept last night, I feel like a part of me has died now my dog has gone. I've had herbs

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp Mon 29-Jul-13 23:02:40

I am so sorry for you OP and all who have suffered losses. We took on an 8 year old black lab as our first family dog and I do know the day will come, but I hope we have made his last home a happy one. I am crying here reading about Charlie and hoping he is having fun i doggie heaven, and my boy knows I am upset and has come and stuck his nose under my arm to cuddle. They are wonderful creatures and I do hope OP that memories give you comfort and you give your love to a new dog in time.

AwsomeMrsFox Mon 29-Jul-13 21:39:59

I'm so sorry dogsagoodun. We lost our lab a couple of years ago when DS was 5 and he was very upset. There is a lovely book called 'Heaven' by Emma Chichester Clark which he seemed to relate to and he asked to have a special picture of AwesomeDog2 in his room. We scattered the ashes along one of our favourite walks so we can visit anytime we want. 2 years on we have another dog who he adores but he still remembers AwesomeDog2 fondly, actually he had written a lovely piece of school work a couple of weeks ago titled 'a good memory' which was about AD2.

NEScribe Mon 29-Jul-13 18:58:55

So sorry to hear about Charlie sad We have always had dogs and it is so hard to lose them - it's a year this week since we lost our beloved Gscross, Smudge and I could still easily sit and cry. He was such an amazing boy- just like Timmy, Simba, Ben and Rex who went before him.
You can't hope to replace him but we have found that getting another actually helps to keep their memory alive. Walking our rescue collie cross, we will remember how she played with him etc. we got mollie to kerp him company but they had only a short time together before he died. I found it so hard that if we hadn't already saved mollie from the pound, I might not have been able to face getting another dog. She had been abused and was reallybnervous but she has now blossomed and is a great comfort. Last month, we took a terrified GS pup from a pound and she and mollie are already firm friends. Watching them play makes us laugh - which is good - and they enrich our lives. If possible, give a home to a stray - if you only want a pure bred then there are rescue societies online for most breeds. Losing a dog is hard but you know you gave them a good life and there are so many others out there needing a loving home.

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