Last week my lovely gorgeous cocker was run over. He never stood a chance. He was 14 months old. I feel so so guilty. I am really struggling.
We had only had him 3 months and were just beginning to trust him off the lead. He was such a lovely dog and fit into our family perfectly. I couldn't believe how lucky we were to have him.
I had taken him for a walk somewhere I thought was safe - a playing field connected to a cycle track. We'd walked around the playing field, and then my son wanted to head along the cycle track. We walked a little along the track, over a road and I had no idea there was access to the road below. I know. Stupid.
I think he caught a scent and got turned around. I can still see him racing off towards the road. I think he was trying to head back to us. We were calling him.
I can still remember looking down on his lifeless body. I still remember leaving my toddler and baby with strangers to scramble down to his wee body. Lifting him up and realising he'd gone. Having to think what to do next. Scrambling back to my children and getting them back to the car and driving around to where my dog was. I can't thank the stranger who stopped to help enough. I would have been in pieces without that help.
I just can't stop seeing it. Every time I have a moment to myself I just replay the whole thing. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about it.
I just don't know how I'm going to get over it. Help
If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.
The doghouse
How do I forgive myself?
SouthBySouthWest · 03/07/2013 22:27
Oh no you poor poor thing 
. You must be feeling so wretched but it was just a horrible freak accident that really could have happened to anybody. How awful for you, do you have friends in RL who understand and can comfort you?
you poor poor thing
accidents happen. please dont blame yourself - we lose them at some point though i appreciate your lost him too soon- he wouldnt have known a thing.
dont torture yourself. please.
i had a spaniel - he had a massive fit and went - just like that. and now im glad he didnt suffer - he just went.
allow yourself to grieve - pets are family. i grieved horribly for my boy.
give yourself a break - you didnt do anything wrong - it was an accident.
it's very rare I cry at threads on MN but your last comment has me in tears.
I'm so sorry and it seems like a cliche but he had a better life than some humans can ever imagine, so although it was short he was happy and you should take comfort from that x
I had to take my parent's elderly dog to be PTS and that was traumatic enough, played on my mind for a few weeks and I too felt guilty even though it was inevitable as he was ill.
Take a few days, it will get better but remember you are only human and it would be a bit unfeeling if you were over it in a matter of days.
Every day we have to balance risk against enjoyment of life. Your lovely boy would have hated being stuck on a lead all the time, or only going free to sniff and work the hedgerow on very occasional trips to deep countryside. You gave him a fantastic fourteen months.
Yes, it's way too soon to be thinking about giving another dog a home. But when you're ready, you'll be fine. You sound like a wise, loving owner, and here are some
I am so sorry, how awful for you all. But please take comfort from everything that has been said here already, your dog had a lovely life with you, he wasn't abused or beaten or kept lock up, he was out enjoying himself with his family and was just incredibly unlucky. He would not have known any pain. There but for the grace of God go all of us dog owners - the worst thing about owning and loving pets is losing them, way way too soon in your case I know, but he had a very lovely family life and I really hope you can realise that you have nothing to forgive yourself for. Keep reading these messages back, hopefully they will comfort you and your family - sending hugs and .
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.