DH wants to rehome puppy - how will it affect him?

(93 Posts)
AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:13:28

By him I mean puppy, not DH...

He is 10 months old and a labradoodle and is just lovely but DH would like to re home him due to excessive shedding (about half a carrier bag full every 2 days which he says it making DS's eczema worse), separation anxiety (can't be left alone for more than an hour) and nervousness (he wees everywhere whenever a man he doesn't know comes into the house)....

He has said we can keep him if it's going to upset me that much to re home him (it will) but is it fair to keep him when DH doesn't love/want him? I love him so much but I want him to be happy so I'm really torn.

He has been well socialised, has lots of friends and gets plenty of excercise. He is great with our DC and other dogs so I don't think it would be hard to find him a loving home, but how would re homing affect him?

I can't bear the thought of him being in kennels even for a night so would want to re home him to someone we know or someone close by where I know he will be happy, safe & loved.

Turniphead1 Tue 19-Feb-13 19:50:39

Stroodles - try rubbing him with Petal Cleanse (google it - suggested by Allergy UK) each day. Groom him outside. Ensure your son doesn't cuddle him wearing his pjs. Don't allow dog upstairs or at very least not in your son's room. Damp dust all areas dog is in each day or as often as you can.

HTH re excema.

Inthepotty Mon 18-Feb-13 20:40:58

OP.

I have a 18month old 'doodle', who I took of my stupid SIL when he was 16 weeks.

He sheds. Loads. I keep him clipped regularly, mop the wooden floors daily, Hoover 2x daily, damp dust every other day, wash vet bed bedding 2x weekly at 60. My DSS is allergic to some dogs, but fine with our boy.

Labradoodles are very quick, clever, dogs, who require lots of mental stimulation as well as excerise. This means I do a wee bit of training every day, whilst waiting for the kettle or whatever. Formal obedience classes 2 hrs a week, WT training 3hrs a week. It is a lot, but I made a commitment and it keeps my dog (and me!) happy. It means he sleeps the days away at home, so is fine to be left.

The anxiety with men can be worked on, easily. Every man he meets from now on, ask them to throw food on the floor. This way your dog associates them with good happy things. (Hotdogs chopped up good for this!) Basically revisit socialisation, don't shove him into situations, let your your dog feel confident and happy. For the love of good (and get ready as this is a big big bugbear!) don't let men lean over him to rub his face, or belly, pat him or generally get in his space. My rescue collie bitch is very man-nervous, I get fellow dog walkers to feed her, window cleaners/postie to offer treats, and any visiting male to my house is provided with treats at the door to scatter around. The following men to lick at them sounds like what my bitch does when she's nervous, appeasement behaviour to say 'I'm not a threat! Don't hurt me!"

Labradoodles are a dream to train, food led, playful. Lots of threads on reducing SA. Is your dog crate trained?

This has been a long rambly post, sorry, but every time someone says 'oh a young labradoodle will be easy to rehome' I think that that labradoodle would be taking up a rescues space and resources. Of which there are very very few.

LadyTurmoil Mon 18-Feb-13 20:23:48

BTW, does DH have eczema? I do and my daughter (not my son) has inherited my rubbish skin to a certain extent. There is guilt involved in knowing you are the parent that's passed it on to your child, iyswim, maybe your DH could be feeling that, but passing it on to "blame" the dog? Good point uncleeddie about the sofa - makes huge sense if it does correlate. Also, have you had the heating up higher than usual recently, could increase dog shedding and is crap for dry/sensitive/eczema skin...

GreatUncleEddie Mon 18-Feb-13 19:57:28

Is the recent move to sleeping on the sofa what has exacerbated your son's eczema? (Presumably he sits on the same sofa?)

Good news! Glad that there is a happy ending in sight. I am sure you can work on the other issues with some additional help if required.

tabulahrasa Mon 18-Feb-13 19:47:50

He won't know or care whether your DH actively wants him or just tolerates him...as long as your DH is not unkind to him, he'll just get on with being a dog.

DizzyHoneyBee Mon 18-Feb-13 19:16:42

if it's causing problems for your son's health then you have to rehome the dog. He will settle; we got a new pet from a rehousing centre, at first she was shy with us and with the pet we already had and was very quiet but we got her during the school holidays and after a week she was fine. Now you wouldn't know that we hadn't always had her.

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 19:15:10

We did do all the right things with the crate training, he just doesn't seem to like it, unless he feels scared (of a strange man in the house e.g plumber) then he will head for his crate.

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 19:13:52

Thanks guys. Yes he is crate trained but he actually doesn't like his crate much, he prefers to be in the thick of it with us, he (reluctantly) slept in his crate up until last week he now sleep son the sofa and seems much happier. I leave him out of his crate when I go to the shops now too and he seems happier with that arrangement!

Good to hear it stroodles. Lots of advice here and in the Doghouse on finding a good trainer, so if you can cure the separation anxiety - is he crate trained - and work on the nervousness/weeing then you'l have a much happier family dog for everyone to enjoy.

frustratedworkingmum Mon 18-Feb-13 18:46:06

wahooo smile thats great news stroodles!! You are making the right decision. Its very easy to say that you want to rehome and animal, quite a different thing to do it!

AgathaF Mon 18-Feb-13 17:54:34

Apple Poodles get their adult coat when they are around a year old, give or take a little, so maybe yours is shedding so much because this is happening, and it may hopefully settle down a bit in a few weeks? Obviously with Poodles, you don't get the shedding part when this happens, but maybe that comes from the Labrador part of him?

<clutching at straws emoticom>

Floralnomad Mon 18-Feb-13 17:50:50

Even if he has a short coat it may be worth speaking to a good groomer about a clip , mine is short haired ,it just gets thick but I keep him clipped so that its easier to manage when he rolls in crap and gets muddy everytime I take him out .

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 17:35:04

LadyTurmoil - Thank you for all the eczema advice, that's really kind smile

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 17:31:08

We are keeping him!!!

I just can't bear the thought of losing him and DH knows that and has said he will make an effort to bond.

He has short hair and I brush him daily, wondering whether he is going through a coat change of losing his Winter coat?

We are as on top of the eczema as we can be, will ask doctor about getting tested for dogs, although he was fine before our dog started shedding so heavily.

LadyTurmoil Mon 18-Feb-13 14:33:58

i'm sure you're trying lots of things for the eczema already: cotton clothes and bedding, non-biological washing powder, limiting cheese/chocolate, various creams and bath oils. But have you tried Pure Potions Skin Salvation? It's an all natural cream formulated by a mum who had a daughter with severe eczema www.purepotions.biz/ You want to get some and try with a patch test - many people have recommended... (not working for the company, honest!) but think it's worth trying alternatives to steroid creams.

Fair enough agatha, my post was more replying to Lilibel, as she raised the issue of people being negative about cockapoos or doodles etc. I have no issue at all with them personally, know a few lovely ones, but have issues with the whole designer breed industry making a packet out of selling renamed crossbreeds, however lovely! I just wonder what's wrong with the original breeds too!

Hope op is ok today and manages to sort out her situation so all concerned end up happy, including the dog.

AgathaF Mon 18-Feb-13 14:14:26

I always wonder that too needastrongone. Although as the OP has said, she didn't really appreciate the difference between reputable breeders and BYBs. I think that must be the case with lots of people who buy these dogs, unfortunately.

Labradorlover Mon 18-Feb-13 13:29:20

You could try Petal Cleanse lotion, as well as clipping for the eczema. Second the suggestion for Dap/Adaptil, combined with training, to help with seperation anxiety.

Also, assume that your breeder bred to keep one of the litter Lilibel, which would be the only responsible reason to breed, regardless of cross or straight pedigree etc? The mother of our Springer has already been spayed, having had the one litter, who the breeder wished to keep a puppy from (as she did her mother and grandmother, who they still have).

Otherwise, then yes, they were doing for money however responsible smile

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 18-Feb-13 13:22:39

i assume you've already considered grooming and clipping the dog? it's just you've not mentioned it. i hope that is because it is such an obvious thing to do.

Again, I am not making a judgement about you specifically honest(!!) but why didn't you choose a poodle or cocker? Not my business at all but it does interest me why people don't choose one or other breed.

Not sure that anybody is slating the dogs themselves and your breeder sounds very responsible Lilibel, but there's a shed load of money to be made from these designer 'breeds', they are big business. People are making a packet from selling what is essentially a cross breed for hundreds of pounds.

I wager a guess that my pedigree Springer, who I paid a premium £450 for, given we were extremely careful about selecting a breeder, didn't cost as much as your dog and he was at the expensive end of the spectrum! That galls me somewhat, not your very particular circumstance but the whole industry.

Sulawesi Mon 18-Feb-13 12:30:33

My dog is 10 months old and yes they are very hard work at this time, bit like toddlers, maximum energy but no sense whatsoever!

Hard flooring for the dog and he's not allowed anywhere near soft furnishings, much easier to keep clean and hair free (relatively).

Agree re clipping that would make massive difference.

Worrying re him being afraid of men, can you get a behaviourist in to assess or help with this?

I don't agree that rehoming would traumatise him forever, he is a young dog and would adapt easily. Mine goes off to the dog sitter without a backward glance. The problem is finding that good home of course.

Did you ring the Labradoodle Trust OP?

My DH wasn't mad keen on our dog for the first year. Puppies are hard work. Now he's 19 months old, DH actually enjoys him. DS2 has eczema, and when we first got the dog he did have a flare up. It has stabilised since, but it helps massively to have hard flooring which can be swept/mopped daily and the dog isn't allowed upstairs. Actually, everyone but me was mildly allergic to the dog initially, but are now able to cuddle and roll around the floor with him with no ill effects. There was an adjustment period. I groom the dog regularly, too, to keep any allergens to a minimum.

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