I want a puppy, my husband is dead against it.

(28 Posts)
Guinnessisgoodforyou Fri 18-May-12 16:25:53

Basically that really, I am a stay at home mum, 2 older children at school, younger one still at home as is only 1, I am normally alone in the house from 6.30am until 6.30pm, sometimes later and I want a dog to add to our family. My husband says no way. I know that dogs are hard work, I know all that but dont know what to do. I feel like a little girl. What do I do to convince him that it's a good idea??

Imsosorryalan Fri 12-Jul-13 14:58:56

I could have written your post this time last year op, except my oh seemed ok about getting one. My 2 dds are 5 and 2. We have never owned a dog before.

I picked up our rescue pup last October. I knew it would be hard which I was vaguely ready for. As a SAHM I thought I had the time.

What we didn't know was how fear aggressive and scared of everything she was. She hated ( and still does to some extent) people, children, dogs, cars, travelling, the general outdoors...

Training is still full on and we have spent £100's on behaviourists, courses, socialisation groups etc. the list goes on. All this while trying to sort house stuff, school stuff and dealing with a 2 year olds tantrums etc. come rain, hail or shine. I naively though she'd just slot into our lifestyle.

What I'm trying to say is this would have been a hell of a lot easier if I didn't have young dcs at home. I love her to bits but she still frustrates me every day.

Im not trying to put you off but i wish i had waited until both my kids were at school. BAT would be so much easier wink If you've never had dogs at home before, I would def. try to foster or help by dog walking etc first. No one could have told us about our dogs personality and we have muddled along best we can.

ReluctantDogOwner Fri 12-Jul-13 09:12:52

We have a dog. I was reluctant but the kids and hubby wanted one so we ended up with a rescue dog. To be fair they do walk her but I'm the only one who has trained her. I wish we had not got her (I wanted a couple of rabbits). I like dogs as such but I'm just not really into being a dog person the whole time. I find it stressful - worrying about her when we leave her home alone, worry about her biting someone, worry about her running off, worry about finding someone to look after her when we go on holiday, having to think about where she is if I need to go upstairs for a bit....sad

To force a dog onto someone who doesn't want one is unfair on the person and the dog.

1MitchellMum Fri 12-Jul-13 06:13:19

Tricky one that! You really need commitment - what if you're ill and need help dog walking/poo clearing etc? As others have said, why not volunteer for Cinnamon Trust first - maybe as a dog walker?

VivaLeBeaver Thu 11-Jul-13 22:15:11

Ahh, it's not good but probably for the best.

I work shifts and dh works from home two days a week so we juggle the dog well. But dh is away this week and poor dog has been on his own for 8 hours for three days. He's not been happy about it at all. I couldn't imagine doing it to him week after week.

wine0 Thu 11-Jul-13 21:45:11

Thanks Viva for your honesty. My children want one, my daughter more so and I have been swept along. I do really really want one but I know you and my DH are probably the voice of reason!

Damn work and bills to pay sad

Wonder if my head would allow me to take one in my handbag ;)

VivaLeBeaver Thu 11-Jul-13 21:40:21

I don't think it's fair to have a dog if you're out every day of the week all day. Even a small dog who doesn't need much walking will be lonely, bored and stressed.

Wine0 if you can commit to paying a dog walker to come in and walk your dog every day then that's different. I don't know much about chihuahuas but from what I've read they can be a bit highly strung and snappy......I'd have thought leaving one shut up for several hours will make this worse.

wine0 Thu 11-Jul-13 21:35:50

Did you win? I really want a chuiwawa.

My husband and I work full time and DH said it isn't fair to have a dog. My DD and DS aged 4 and 8 are also keen. I totally understand his reasons but chuiwawa's are so tiny, need very little exercise and do not cost too much to keep.

With a litter tray and a large enough cage and toys I've been told the dog would get used to being alone in the day and are so affectionate.

I am a teacher and finish next week for the summer and would love to get one whilst I am off. How can I convince him? Or do you think I'm wrong to even consider it?

Floralnomad Sun 07-Jul-13 19:44:24

It took me about 20 years to persuade my husband and in the end it was my daughter who really swung it . He agreed to a Westie and we ended up with a 15/16 week old Patterdale x from Battersea . He agreed on the Thursday and we had the dog on the Sunday before he had time to change his mind! He still claims that he doesn't like the dog but we have photographic evidence to the contrary but the only involvement he has is to feed the dog biscuits and cups of tea . Persist with wearing him down and get the children onto him as well eventually he will cave ,just might take a while .

TheCunnyFunt Sun 07-Jul-13 17:14:51

Zombie thread!

Thumbwitch Sun 07-Jul-13 15:51:45

But WHY does your DH not want a dog? the excuses he's given are just that really - does he not like dogs? Does he fear that he will end up doing most of the walking (despite you being at home)? Or is it really just the cost and the mess?

See, I don't want a dog at all. DH would love one but I just know I'd get stuck with the bugger, do all the work, etc. and I don't want to because I don't really like them and would puke if I had to pick up dogshit. I've told DH that he can get a dog the day he promises that he will do all the work involved.

But in YOUR case, you WOULD be doing all the work, so I can't see that your DH's objections are that valid unless he really hates dogs (or is a git).

financialwizard Sun 07-Jul-13 15:46:56

Gah. I would love a dog, although I am thinking along the lines of rescue. Can't offer one a home yet because of the hours we work and lifestyle we lead, but I expect it will be our retirement.

Chumble Sun 07-Jul-13 15:42:10

DH is the same says we have too many pets (we have fish and a cat! ). He works away so it would be me that would do it all anyway.

One day he will come home and there will be a new arrival ...
.........

kawika Sun 07-Jul-13 15:36:54

I can sympathize with you. I want a puppy so bad, lost my beloved dog over a year ago and have so much love to give to another puppy. Know It will not be a replacement for my first dog but still could fill that empty hole in my heart. My husband loved that first dog but never wanted him either. He says they are a 15 year commitment, messy, tie you down. All is true but they love and joy they provide is so worth it. We don't do much, not like we travel all the time. My husband works a lot and plays cards at night so I home alone most of the time anyway. Don't think I could change his mind and don't want to trick him into it. Not fair for him or the dog. So guess I am the one who will do without. sad

Kushti Sat 19-May-12 21:17:22

I could have written your OP last month!!! DH finally 'came round' to the idea two weeks ago, he is now more exited than I am.
He said absolutely no way at first and it took a few weeks of pretty much constant hinting and pestering until he realised I was serious about it and caved in. I think he just wanted to see that I was serious and also needed a bit of time to come round to the idea himself...

My advice would be to have an 'business plan', costs, breed, walking, insurance etc.. Give him some time to get used to the idea but keep it fresh in his mind.

If he is still not happy about it let it go, it would be terrible for the dog to live in a house where it wasn't wanted.

Good luck grin

igetcrazytoo Sat 19-May-12 21:01:22

How about doing day care and charging for it? If your DH just doesn't like dogs then they'd be gone by the time he gets home. You get the company and do the walks.

Guinnessisgoodforyou Sat 19-May-12 20:53:34

AllergictoNutters, that is EXACTLY how I feel, I feel all broody and forlorn, it is ridiculous but I just can't snap out of it. I have absolutely tonnes of love to give to a puppy, irrespective of how much hard work it is, I have had a hell of a time with my oldest child with regards to hard work so am pretty sure I can deal with hard work and stress a puppy creates. I have it so bad it hurts grin(

ragged Sat 19-May-12 05:16:27

I wonder if a compromise might be fostering, you'd get a dog on short term basis and he would get to see how bad (or not) it was. Alternatively, the Cinnamon Trust (again fostering & aspects of daily care but dog doesn't necessarily live in your home).

AdoraBell Sat 19-May-12 04:11:56

I have a theory, my theory is that dogs are hard work for those of us who get lumbered with doing all the taking care because the other one can't or won't take part. That said, if he really doesn't like dogs then no amount of talking is going to persuade him.

I also wouln't get a new pet with a baby/toddler as I think the young child takes up enough time and energy that it would be difficult to fulfill both their needs. Of course the baby is the priority so I would leave it a few more years at least before considering it.

greyvix Sat 19-May-12 00:34:36

I was in the same boat. I got the puppy anyway, but DH does nothing. He has never walked her, not even to accompany me on the weekends.
I wouldn't be without her though; I would have always been resentful if I hadn't got her. Sometimes you have to do things for yourself, and be strong. Good luck!

Joolyjoolyjoo Fri 18-May-12 23:45:59

I can sympathise, as I would have a houseful of animals given my way, but DH is not as keen!

The only thing I would warn is that if one person categorically doesn't want a dog it can be very difficult if you DO get one. I had my dogs before I met DH, who wasn't against dogs per se, and had one himself previously, but we had lots of rows about MY dogs, about how they affected our lifestyle, in terms of holidays/ damage/ messing in the house when they were ill etc.

My mum (and I) talked my dad into a puppy when I was 7yo, and I loved that dog to death, but he was hard work, and my dad hated it. it caused all sorts of issues between my parents, and eventually the dog was rehomed (while I was sleeping sad sad) I honestly feel like I never got over that, and, much as I love my dad to bits, we still can't talk about it. So I'm always wary- a dog affects the whole family, in terms of expense, inconvenience and mess, and it can cause a lot of animosity in the reluctant partner.

MagratGarlik Fri 18-May-12 23:39:20

Tell him that:

1. If you get a sighthound they are not that messy. They hate water (in general) and mud and undignified stuff like getting dirty. Ours sit nicely by the front door after a walk and wait for their paws to be cleaned before they are allowed any further into the house. They also have small paws (in comparison with other breeds), so even when they are muddy, it does make the same amount of mess. They also don't smell - honestly;

2. Pet insurance for sighthounds being ridiculously healthy breeds is very low. We pay £8 per month for whippetty and £11 for our lurchergirl (she is older). Food for both comes to £7 per week. Before we got lurchergirl (who is a big lass), food for whippetty came in at less than £2 per week. We feed only fresh food which is healthier them anyhow;

3. Our two get 3 x 30 min walks per day. They sleep the rest of the time. If it rains, they get walked less (their choice, not mine - they hate the rain). When we were home checked for lurchergirl, the homechecker had a whippet and he said his whippet was only walked once per day and was perfectly happy on that. If you want a sighthound to walk longer they will do.

So, what you need to do is convince him it's not that he doesn't want a dog, but that he wants a sleek, elegant and non-messy sighthound grin. There are lots of greyhounds looking for homes and rehoming an adult dog is so much less work than a puppy. As a plus, most greyhounds walk well on the lead, you rarely see a greyhound walking its owner - which is really handy if you are walking a dog and dealing with a 1 year old at the same time.

AllergicToNutters Fri 18-May-12 22:30:09

that is shame. It is like being broody when you want a dog. sad Maybe he will come round to the idea but I dont think you can change someomes mind. You need to get the children on board. wink

Guinnessisgoodforyou Fri 18-May-12 21:34:44

A dog full stop, says they are messy, expensive, hard work, etc. All of which I know.

Hassled Fri 18-May-12 18:40:22

If he doesn't like dogs, he doesn't like dogs, and it's his home too. If my DH announced we were getting a dog I would have a full on hissy fit - you just can't make, or try to make, that sort of imposition. Reason and logic doesn't come into it.

clam Fri 18-May-12 18:38:20

Ah, so he's against having a dog full stop, not just the fact it's a puppy?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now