grieving dog

[rebelpunk]

after recently having to have my boy pts, my girl is grieving badly. she just lies around the house, usually curled up, or "hiding". not eating very much, but will take treats if offered. she very rarely asks to go out (but never messes inside either) however, if you take her, she'll happily go. she rarely plays anymore either, and seems to do her best to avoid my 10 month old son (not like her at all). i'm giving her lots of attention, affection & walks, but she's just lost without her wee brother, who she mothered & babied even when he grew bigger than her :) i know it will take time, i'm still grieving myself, but is there anything else i can do to help her? she still runs around the house looking for him, and gets very excited when we leave the house or i phone a taxi, as she thinks i'm going to collect him ( he was in & out the vets a lot).

[Selks]

Oh bless her. She sounds depressed and is clearly missing him. I'm not sure what to suggest, sounds like you're doing all you can.
Does anyone you kow have a 'doggy friend' that she could meet up with sometimes for a run around and a play? Might lift her spirits a bit.

[rebelpunk]

i had her round my friends house recently, she had fun with their big lab, but once we came home, she went back to it. :( 'm really worried about her, she's always been a bit odd, (we think she was abused & i'm certain she was the runt) that's why we got a second dog, he taught her how to be a dog (barking, pee outside etc) and it's like she just doesn't know what to do without him. :(
they were very protective of each other. there's no way i'm getting another dog, i could never replace my boy & it's just not practical, i'm afraid.

[Selks]

Could you talk to the vet at all? they might be able to help or offer some advice. The other consideration is maybe she is poorly or has a health issue that is distressing her - it may not necessarily be what you think is going on. I'd have a chat with the vet.
Hope she begins to perk up soon.

[rebelpunk]

i've already phoned the vet, they said to give her a while and see how she goes.
i doubt it's anything else, she's still crying & looking for him.
i'll give her another week or so, it only seems to be in the house, she's normal elsewhere. if she's not improved by next week, i'll see the vet. :)

[MotherJack]

I'm sorry Rebelpunk... that is so sad. She is grieving though. Not in the way we do, probably, but she has lost her longtime companion.... like you, and you are still grieving too.

What you can do is probably just give her time, like you will need time and give her lots of love and affection in the meantime.

I wonder if a DAP diffuser would help?

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

I was thinking DAP diffuser/ DAP collar too. Poor girl

[hellymelly]

If you'd consider homoeopathy,you can give her the remedy Ignatia,200c, once a day for three days. Other than that,maybe long term she would be happier with a new companion than as an only dog? Sorry that you've lost your other doggie .

[DogsBestFriend]

Poor little mite, we've been there and I feel for you both.

You say that there's no way it would be practical to have another dog - may I ask why? Reason why I'm asking is that this was what brought Max, my Lab X, out of his very similar sounding grief when we lost, very suddenly, his Staffie X pal when Max was going on for 8 years old. I wasn't seeking to adopt a puppy but an older dog, yet found a 6/7 week old GSD who turnd Max from a desperately unhappy, grieving dog into a joyous, bouncing, playful pooch again.

If a long-term companion isn't possible would fostering be an idea? You could chose the type of dog you foster, all food and any vet treatment would be paid for by the rescue and they would suggest a dog who needed your help for the period of time you considered suitable. You might foster just one dog and then leave it at that or foster one, then another and so on, you might choose to foster long-term or short term.

For example, I've fostered dogs short-term who have had homes lined up but are in need of care until the new owner comes back off hols, those which were merely waiting to find the right permanent owner for an indefinite perod, and my current boy, another GSD to add to Max and my younger GSD, is a (very, as in he's mine in all but name!) long term foster dog, here as he hates kennel life but no-one wanted to offer him a home because he has epilepsy.

Others volunteers for that particular rescue have fostered dogs who don't fare well in kennels in the winter (Greyhounds especially suffer the cold, for example) and youngsters who need bringing on and teaching/reminding what a home life is all about.

Might such a thing help your poor girl?

[rebelpunk]

motherjack/jooly - i have tried the dap collars before, for fireworks, and they had no effect on either of the two of them. never tried the diffuser, though, maybe that would work better.

hellymelly - where would i get ignatia from? holland & barratt, etc? i'd be willing to give that a go, just googled it. on another note, she was the older dog, she lived with us alone before the other dog was even born, so i'm not sure about that- its a possibility.

dogs - i'm not getting another dog, mainly because of the situation with my neighbours as i mentioned on pfk's forum. i can't leave her in alone here, it's not fair on her. we had to take my baby to hospital on sunday night, i had to nip round to my mums work to drop the dog off with her before we went. (her work is across the road from my house) maybe if & when we're re-housed i'll feel differently, but right now it's a no-go. it's too raw, its too soon, my boy only went to sleep less than a month ago. i don't think i could go through it all again.

my sons only 10 months old as well, so probably not the best time to bring a whole new dog into the house.

btw, it's lori :)

[DogsBestFriend]

Oh stupid cow me, now I see lori / rebel !!

D'oh!

So, so sorry, it just didn't dawn on me who you were.

I see your point entirely - is there anything I/PFK folk/anyone can do about the neighbours? Any calls we (or friends with local accents ) can make to the relevant authorities saying we have been troubled by these loons too or tipping the authorities off?

[rebelpunk]

i doubt they'll listen .among many other things, the guy verbally attacked my mil & i, and nothing was done. he smacked my husband in the head with a plastic bottle (luckily missed his shunt) and the police weren't interested. the daughter launched a boiling pot of pasta at the man next door- he's in a wheelchair. the police didn't do anything then either. thanks for the offer, though. much appreciated. :)

(got the forms all complete, just waiting to hand in. if we're lucky, we'll get shifted in about 2 years)

i firmly place the blame for kai at their door. he rarely had seizures until we moved in here. no wonder, all the noise & stress constantly. (ditto dh)

we were all woken today by them having yet another screaming match/banging & door-slamming competition. they've had about 9 more since then

i think a 3-hour wander is in order, just to get out of here for a while :)

[hellymelly]

You can get ignatia mail order from Ainsworths homoeopathic pharmacy, in London-0207 935 5330.They should get it straight out to you. i'm sorry you are in such a horrible situation with your neighbours.

[MotherJack]

DAP takes about 6 weeks to work iirc... and I am of the opinion that it really couldn't work for fireworks. It's far more intense. I'm on to week 5 with DAP and my OldLady and she does seem less stressy. Personally I wouldn't put faith in homeopathy for dogs as I (again, personally, so no offence Helly) believe that it works because the individual taking it believes it works, so I am not convinced it could ever work in any capacity for dogs.

I just read your PFK thread . So, so sorry for your horrible situation, but it's not yet been a month. My OldBoy was mighty sad for a while after I had to have his best mate, my cat pts. He either used to sit at the back door or the back gate, waiting for his friend to come home . He did get over his grief, but he never got over his love of cats and relished the ones he came across that were dog-tolerant and allowed him to give them staffy kisses.

Are your next-door-loons in council housing btw?

[MotherJack]

When I said "it's far more intense" I meant that fireworks were far too intense for DAP to work, btw

[rebelpunk]

yup, the twats upstairs are council, who are also not interested in resolving the problem. next door have had an on-going conflict with them for around 6 years (!) which is no further forward than our case is. for reasons i can't really divulge, they are under protection from the authorities, and get away with murder.

i was told to log everything, so i did- i've since been told not to bother as there was too much for them to read!!

[MotherJack]

That sort of covers my next question then, Rebel.... good second guessing. But it's far from right. Have you considered contacting your MP over it? No one should have to live with documented consequences of their neighbours and no one do anything about it. People can not live regardless of neighbours whatever their situation. It's against all that is normal and decent and someone should fight your corner... really.