Here we go again

[fledtoscotland]

i posted a few months ago as my 6 yr old collie x bitch had a tumour at L5. The MRI was inconclusive but they dont thin it's an osteosarcoma as it appears to be growing out rather than into spinal cord.

anyway for the last day or so she's been a bit guarded but this morning she won't stand, is shaky, seems weak.

Shes been symptom free for a couple of months but she looks awful this morning

We have an emergency vet appt at 10.30 & in scared this is the end

[fledtoscotland]

And I can't type if this blimming phone either

[sharbie]

no exp i'm afraid but just wanted to say good luck x

[fledtoscotland]

Thankyou. Am sitting on the verge of tears trying to hold it together and trying to find someone to watch my 3rd old cos it's really not what i want him to see. She gets very distressed when she's examined.

Her pic is on my profile - the stunning girl I found in a SSPCA rescue centre 5 yrs ago

[sharbie]

lovely pic she looks so happy

[ExitPursuedByAKitten]

Lovely dog. Virtual hand holding for your appointment later.

[boohoohoo]

Oh I'm so sorry, will be thinking of you both this morning x

[boohoohoo]

And.. Whatever happens remember you have given your gorgeous girl five very very happy years, I also have a rescue dog who we got a couple of years ago and I know she's in her twilight years but I console myself with knowing that we have made her last few years happy and loving. X

[Vallhala]

Reaching a hand out and thinking of you. I hope that your fears are unfounded but that, should they be, you are kind to yourself too.

Val x

[coccyx]

Thinking of you

[fledtoscotland]

They think the vertebrae is collapsing :( although her reflexes are good she's weak and in loads of pain. The vet is fantastic, has given her morphine & steroids and we will review in 24hrs but he doesn't think it's going to be long:(

Just popped out to get milk & bread and although her walking is a bit steadier (she's not staggering quite as much) she's now incontinent and urine is just dribbling out of her.

DH is in pieces and on his way home. I've taken emergency annual leave from work tonight.

I can't see her being here tomorrow :(

Thanks for the hand holding but it's tissues I need at the moment

[sharbie]

so sad make her as comfortable as you can x as others have said you have given her a happy life

[bumpybecky]

I'm so sorry :(

I know it's such a difficult thing to face (we lost our dog in January).

[boohoohoo]

Oh fled I'm so sorry, she is a beautiful girl. What a lucky doggy though to have been rescued by you and your family, I bet she would rather be nowhere else than beside you now, no words of comfort but best wishes to you all xx

[musicposy]

Oh, she is just lovely.

I'm so sorry.

[oxocube]

So, so sorry. Lost our dog to cancer a little over a year ago. It was awful

[fledtoscotland]

It's all over :(. Will post what happened this afternoon later but at least she's not in pain

[kid]

I am so sorry to hear your news. Its good that she is no longer in pain but of course that doesn't ease the pain you are feeling now

[kid]

(Just had a look at her photos, what a beautiful dog)

[Vallhala]

I'm so very, very sorry.

You did all you could and were there for your dog with all the love and kindness a human could give. Be proud of yourself for that.

Val x

[boohoohoo]

I'm so so sorry, much love to you all x

[sharbie]

sending love xx

[youjusthaventearnedityetbaby]

So so sorry.... I lost my beautiful collie cross girl last November and I totally feel for you, I really do... Have looked at your photos, what a gorgeous dog... Please take some comfort from the fantastic years you had together and the love you gave her....

[fledtoscotland]

Thanks for all the kind words. Its been horrendous.

When I posted this morning Tallie was a bit guarded and seems shakey & unstable but was still bright enough in herself and had her trademark waggy tail

By the time we saw the vet at 10.30am she was staggering and her back was arched with her tail underneath her. The morphine seemed to settle her and I carried her out to the car and then home. I literally was only out for maybe 30mins to give her a bit of peace and when I came home she was slumped against the sofa soaking wet with urine. DH came home and was shocked by her. She couldnt sit, only lie or stand against something.

I phoned the vet again and was told to bring her straight in. My neighbour took DS1 (it was DS2s nursery day thankfully). We got to the vet about 2.45 by which point she couldnt stand and wasnt really responsive.

She had more sedation and then was put to sleep just after 3pm - I wish I hadnt seen it now as although she wasnt in pain, watching her body die is inprinted on my brain.

the vet was fantastic throughout but he said that the original consultant opinion of osteosarcosis was prob correct and her vertebrae collapsed this morning. THe vet school MRI was inconclusive and said that the "lesion" probably wasnt cancer but they couldnt say for definite either way without a biopsy and they werent prepared to do that.

With hindsight she's not been well all weekend but was eating up til yesterday. Last night she struggled up the stairs and was quite shakey but at 7am this morning I still had her.

I just cant stop crying. I want my girl back :( DS1 has been asking where she is. my other dog seems a bit lost but I don't think he realises she's not coming back. Her collar is on the sideboard and her foodbowl is empty under the sink. I know that she was "just a dog" and i do need to pull myself together but my girl is dead.


Am going to stop now - thanks for reading this and all the kind words/virtual hugs. Tomorrow I will be able to focus back on my family but tonight I cant stop crying :(

[sharbie]

you poor thing that's just awful

rest in peace tallie

[leonoravonwagner]

fledtoscotland

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Tallie, run free at Rainbow Bridge.