Eurovision Grand Final

(1000 Posts)
SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:02:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raahh Thu 08-May-14 22:03:33


throws cake
and thanks

and bike

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 08-May-14 22:03:48

Raah: I'm hoping cake lady distributes (sebalter's) jumpers to the Slavic girls too.

SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:04:04

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Raahh Thu 08-May-14 22:04:25

Cal- it's gotta be chilly up there!

AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 22:04:28

Wow, good timing on the last thread!

Thank you, Suffolk, the threads have been brilliant so far!

I want the Wiggles or Finland to win. Or Latvia, even though they aren't finalists.

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 08-May-14 22:04:48

Slovenia was a surprise because they were tedious, not because they haven't done so in a while.

Raahh Thu 08-May-14 22:04:57

Til Saturday.

I may have wine!

SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:05:16

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AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 22:05:21

Or Switzerland and my potential holiday snog, obviously. How could I forget him?

Raahh Thu 08-May-14 22:05:44

Yes, Anne- we should just vote for Latvia anyway. Somehow.

They were robbed, and Cake Lady was lovely.

QueenOfThorns Thu 08-May-14 22:09:10

Saving a seat here for Saturday. Have a nice Friday everyone!

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 08-May-14 22:09:35

Vote for latvia by carrier pigeon. Inundate them with scraps of paper tied to birds' legs.

Sunnymeg Thu 08-May-14 22:10:06

Will be interesting to see who the UK give her 12 points to.

AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 22:10:34

Probably the Wiggles.

EduCated Thu 08-May-14 22:16:20

Well. There we go. See you all Saturday grin

Gooseysgirl Thu 08-May-14 22:17:51

Marking place for Sat... off to stock up on winewinewine and pack away the Ireland bunting

RedToothBrush Thu 08-May-14 22:22:23

Armenia - Vampiric Favourite

Austria - Beard nuff said 

Azerbaijan - Trapeze Swinging Red Dress

Belarus - Cheesy Robin Thicke

Denmark - A Whole Band of Peter Andres

Finland - Too good to be Eurovision. Guitars, drums and evveeerrryyytthing

France - Pharrel in face paint, weird Al and the third Member of Jedward

Germany - Blonde Lady with Accordion

Greece - Trampolining Boy Band from Hackney

Hungary - Against Child Neglect

Iceland - The Wiggles

Italy - Adam Ant Groupie
Malta - Mumford Wallpaper 

Montenegro - Phil Tufnell with Roller Skates

Norway - Nordic Noir Piano Snorway Fest

Poland - 'Feminist' Alcoholics

Romania - Kim Jong's Bargin Bin Circular Piano

Russia - Twins with hair and seesaw

San Marino - Venus does Bond

Slovenia - Victorian Flute Player 

Spain - The Rain In Spain

Sweden - Light Prism Lady

Switzerland - Whistling man AnneEyhtMeyer snogs on holiday

The Netherlands - Every Breathe is too good for Eurovision

Ukraine - Man in a hamster wheel 

United Kingdom - Stupid Jewellery

mathanxiety Thu 08-May-14 22:35:20

I will just have to fish the pompoms out, dust them off and shake them for Finland so.

(what the heck is France doing in the final?)

AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 22:36:25

France pay for a lot of it, like we do, so they're always in the final.

Catmint Thu 08-May-14 22:38:40

Latvia was robbed!

Am relieved Belgian man with Oedipus complex isn't there, though.

mathanxiety Thu 08-May-14 22:40:19

I want to bet on them for last place.

SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:48:00

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CalamitouslyWrong Thu 08-May-14 22:50:21

Don't the French always sing in French? Surely they make A Point of it.

Marking place.

Hungary, Austria and Greece are my top 3

SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:52:58

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RedToothBrush Thu 08-May-14 22:56:31

Current betting (using one bookie who I will neglect to name):

Sweden & Austria 3/1
Armenia 9/2
Netherlands 4/1
United Kingdom 9/1
Ukraine 10/1
Hungary 14/1
Greece 20/1
Denmark & Snorway 25/1
Azerbaijan 40/1
Spain, Romania, Finland & Malta 50/1
Italy & Switzerland 66/1
Poland 80/1
Germany & Iceland 100/1
France & Russia 125/1
Montengro & Slovenia 150/1
Belarus & San Marino 250/1

SuffolkNWhat Thu 08-May-14 22:58:22

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RedToothBrush Thu 08-May-14 22:59:57

Joint favourites or second favourites with just about all the bookies.

AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 23:12:33

I am going to try and bet on Swiss Whistler tomorrow.

Austria can't win. We've already had the drag winner when Dana International did it. It is boring now. Men dressing up as women isn't funny or clever.

Raahh Thu 08-May-14 23:26:27

Conchita also has by far the least impressive beard in the competition, Anne. If points were awarded for facial hair, she wouldn't win.

Raahh Thu 08-May-14 23:27:15

Swiss Whistler is quite hard to say. It keeps ending up as Swistler grin

AnneEyhtMeyer Thu 08-May-14 23:53:57

Swistler is a great name. I'm using that for my holiday romance wannabe now.

Yes, Conchita's beard is poor. I like Swistler's friend who jumps around and has a twirly moustache to go with his fine beard and bouffant hair.

Sunnymeg Fri 09-May-14 07:45:56

The UK is the last to sing, hope the rest of Europe hasn't fallen asleep by then!

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 09-May-14 09:01:42

Snorway have odds of 25/1. Seriously?

Romania can only have better odds than Switzerland because of eastern bloc voting, because their song was utterly shit.

stealthsquiggle Fri 09-May-14 10:48:42

Marking my place. I need to decide my social media strategy for Saturday though - I don't think I can multiplex Twitter, FB and MN.

toldmywrath Fri 09-May-14 12:30:51

mathanxiety On an animal thread I'm on, the OP referred to castration of her cat as pom pom removal.
There's surely a tie in with Eurovision somewhere!

RedToothBrush Fri 09-May-14 13:03:05

I thought UK Booking Odds were based on primarily where money placed in the UK was going rather than the overall picture in Europe. (I think France will do much better than the odds for this reason too - we don't vote for anything not in English) I don't understand Snorway at all.

Running order for the night is interesting. Going late is something of an advantage.

The Netherlands
San Marino
United Kingdom

I'm kinda of wishing I had put money on The Netherlands a month ago now as the odds were something like 30/1 and they looked like real outsiders. That draw is really in ours and their favour.

SuffolkNWhat Fri 09-May-14 14:00:52

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Maryz Fri 09-May-14 14:10:43

I'm Irish.

I'm sulking.

The only consolation is that at least we won't have the public humiliation of coming last grin

I'm Irish too, but everything was just very wrong with that song - the dress, the backing singers, the kilted/booted dancers, the song redeeming qualities at all.


BeCool Fri 09-May-14 14:35:26

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AnneEyhtMeyer Fri 09-May-14 14:41:29

I will be here with wine, nibbles and more wine. I don't care who wins, it is always a joy to watch. Especially the voting.

Latvia are the moral winners in my eyes this year.

Maryz Fri 09-May-14 15:16:56

I agree Melanie, but what do you expect when Linda Martin and Louis Walsh combine to cheat the system manipulate the choice of song [sigh]

QueenOfThorns Fri 09-May-14 16:07:50

Maryz, you're right, every cloud has a silver lining!

I need to face up to the inevitable - the Netherlands, who got through to the final for the first time in ages, are going to finish waaaaaayyyyy ahead of miserable Molly. And my Dutch DH is never ever going to let me forget it [sob]

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 09-May-14 16:34:12

Tbf, the Netherlands deserve to come way ahead of Molly and her annoying head jewellery.

RedToothBrush Fri 09-May-14 17:10:25

Despite the fact that Austria's entry is shit, I do want it to do well purely because Russia, Belarus and Ukraine wanted it banned from their broadcasts.

Maryz Fri 09-May-14 18:09:56

Why did they want it banned? Just for the beard?

I only caught the end of last night's show. I thought it was a woman with a false beard, until ds2 told me I was a fecking eejit put me right.

RedToothBrush Fri 09-May-14 18:21:35

I think it goes against their laws. They can't cope with the idea of a man in a dress as it threatens their wholesome values.

Briliant Popbitch guide, thankings, BeCool.

Love the "RizzleGreeks".

DS and I have a soft spot for Montenegro, but we are hoping that the UK do well this year. We love Eurovision in this house

mathanxiety Fri 09-May-14 18:49:07

I want it banned too. The darkest cubbyholes of the Irish Civil Service are the only places appropriate for bearded ladies. Plus it is crap.

I agree there was a lot that was really off about the Irish entry. Dancers, dress, spray tan, Egyptian look and plastic goldtone collar -- nothing coherent. Song was passable but the vocals packed it in half way through. Next year maybe they'll post bouncers to keep Louis Walsh away from the decision and Linda Martin can be detained at a spa perhaps.

I am actually warming to the German entry now. The pompoms may have quite a run for their money.

Raahh Fri 09-May-14 21:12:14

I've just seen the draw on the other thread.

I am sharing Belarus. The Robin Thicko cheesecake one.
I don't think it's a winner grin

QueenOfThorns Fri 09-May-14 22:35:35

I have Poland in the draw (but Latvia in my heart, obviously)!

Come on you Slavic hooker types grin

You stripping butter churners, you.

hattymattie Sat 10-May-14 07:58:47

Ukraine should win from solidarity and Russia should get no points for being bad.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 08:18:08

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SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 08:19:03

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SpanishFly Sat 10-May-14 08:49:45

Yeah I can't wait to see the Ukraine and Russia results. Russia were booed at the dress rehearsal, never mind the actual public booing them! ! They deserve a medal for even turning up.

Ploppy16 Sat 10-May-14 08:55:32

I haven't seen the semi's or anything, I like to be surprised grin
Had a great conversation with DS and his mates yesterday. They were making plans for today and I said 'well it's up to you but don't pester me to do anything tonight it's Eurovision'. Silence and then 4 'cool' teenage boys decided en masse that they weren't doing anything tonight apart from staying in to watch it!

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 09:02:24

I like the Russian song a lot more than the Ukrainian entry actually. Nice arrangement, decent enough singing. The arrangement reminded me of some other song or movie and it's bothering me that I can't put my finger on it...

Anyway I still want Finland to win. That means Finland will probably come last.

AndyWarholsBanana Sat 10-May-14 10:45:19

I missed it for the first time ever last year as was in A&E with DD. What's the story with Labia?

AndyWarholsBanana Sat 10-May-14 10:46:44

Shit, not labia, Latvia obviously blush

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 10:53:56

Latvia sang a song about baking a cake on Tuesday that was very popular with mumsnetters but didn't get through the semis. Thursday semi was so dire they'd probably have got through there - not to mention the fact that there were fewer acts on Thursday for reasons I can't fathom.

I'm rooting for the Netherlands first and foremost but it probably won't win. I think it's probably between Austria Sweden and Armenia. Though what the Armenian entry has going for it apart from political voting is beyond my comprehension.

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 11:29:36

However the draw has not been kind to Sweden and Austria who are performing next to each other in the middle. It has been kind to the Netherlands. And the song is simple and magical.

If they win I want to be in Amsterdam for eurovision next year.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 11:36:49

I do actually hope the Netherlands win, even though I'll never hear the end of it. The Swedish song is fairly dull, and I don't think the Austrian Bond lite song should win just because it's sung by a woman with a beard.

As I mentioned on the other thread, don't be surprised if the Ukraine gives Russia some points, because the Crimean votes get counted with the Ukrainian ones.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 13:10:32

I am fed up of the media hyping Austria and "a woman with a beard" for two reasons - it is not a woman with a beard it is a man with a dress, and drag has been done before on Eurovision. It isn't new and exciting like they are trying to make out.

I have stocked up with wine and nibbles for tonight. I am still hoping for the Swhistlers to win. Or Finland. Netherlands were ok but just lifted mosted of their tune from the Police.

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 13:54:56

Betting realy looks to be between Sweden, Austria and the Netherlands.

Armenia have drifted right out.

stealthsquiggle Sat 10-May-14 15:20:45

The Netherlands reminds me of Reese Witherspoon and Joaquim thingummy in "walk the line"

ouryve Sat 10-May-14 15:24:33

Italy - Adam Ant Groupie"

Actually, I was waiting for a wrecking ball to appear in the clip I saw.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 16:09:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 16:25:04

I find the whole Austrian act a bit manipulative. it is neither a good song, or an original gimmick. I think they are relying on people feeling the way Red did ^ up thread, when Austria were booed. I suppose politically correct votes make a change from purely political ones. I felt the same way when Dana International won- at least it was a ^slightly better tune. grin

Anyway, seriousness overgrin

I have nibbles. I have peppermint tea and water (rock and roll!).
DD1 has attempted a Belarussian flag. it looked easy enough, but has a complicated pattern on the side we might miss that off .


ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 17:25:18

The cheesecake song can forget winning even if it were any good. No one's ever won from number two in the draw - it's the graveyard slot.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 17:32:21

ilove- I knowsadgrin <waves flag>

actually - wouldn't it be GREAT if , just for Eurovision, we could have emoticons for all the flags?

<suspects this would make me unpopular with tech, and cause MN to go into meltdown>


Raahh Sat 10-May-14 17:33:03

i do not know why all my previous post ended up in italicsconfused


mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 18:05:51

Raahh and Anne I am inclined to agree.

OK, I have broken down and listened to the UK entry, and I hereby go on record as saying I like it a lot and the arrangement too. Tis very Eurovisioney.

Maryz Sat 10-May-14 18:08:27

I have no alcohol sad

I don't think I will be able to do this.

I have prepared my nibbles!

Broad bean humous with mint and lemon zest (Nigel Slater), trout pate (leftovers from last night's dinner), and Swissler bruschetta (muesli bread that was fresh earlier this week but which is still edible when toasted)

I'm sticking up for a Wurst Eurovision - I know I'm biased as I have a thing for phoenixeseses, even have a tattoo of one on my back. And the fact that other countries tried to ban it shows that it is a wee bit controversial. A friend on Facebook - who I'd have said was fairly liberal - said that when Conchita appeared her 3 year old son was very confused. So why not take the opportunity to discuss men in frocks then, I thought, hmmmm?

Drag artists usually try to look completely female - Conchita is challenging the need to be pigoen-holed, and championing everyone's right to dress and look as they like. He seems to handle any tricky press questions with grace and dignity.

Right, I'll get off my soap box now. As you were.

ouryve Sat 10-May-14 18:13:35

My M&S wine club case arrived, this afternoon and I have chocolate. I'm all set grin

Persuading DS1 to go the fuck to bed will be the hard thing. He Disapproves of Eurovision. DS2 enjoys it, though.

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 18:16:30

I have a little gin and diet tonic. Festive and sophisticated, and also mysterious because I have no idea how I ended up with diet anything.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 18:18:56

Prosecco at the ready here... both DCs will be in bed 7.30pm latest (v hopeful)

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 18:41:32

missed the beginning of the Eurovision special on Pointlesssad

Mike Nolan looks like a scarecrowgrin- Johnny Logan looks really old. Dana hasn't changed grin

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 18:43:02

Sonia is tango coloured. grin

I went to the same dance school as Dana.

ihatehousewor Sat 10-May-14 18:57:55

Evening to all you Eurovision included! I seem to be the only one at work who will be watching ; perhaps I should consider this as a flaw in my personality? Hope you have enjoyed Saturday and are looking forward to a laugh. May the flag waving begin!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 18:59:14

Did you, Melanie ? Was she nice? She always seems really nice.

Georgia, The Gambia, Uzbekistan, are my guesses.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 19:01:35

Evening all. Just getting ds2 into bed so I can marvel at how crap Eurovision is with you all.

Dana (Rosemary Brown) was a sweet girl, she lent me a white leotard once. Went a bit extremist/ bonkers as she got older and went into politics, but she still looks good. Our "Madame" dance teacher used to tell us how she taught her how to walk down stairs while wearing a long frock - you feel for the riser on the previous step with the back of your heel.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 19:03:38

Why are Sweden so high up in the favourites list? They were utterly forgettable at best.

AnyaKnowIt Sat 10-May-14 19:03:49

Evening all, less then an hour to go

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:05:23


Belarusian flag (minus twiddly bit to the left).


Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:07:22

The Pointless /Pet Shop Boys Eurovision song would win hands down. grin

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 19:08:07

DP and I just got 5 Pointless answers between us in the final grin

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:08:35

Sweden ....maybe people think they have great DNA in them going back to the good old Abba days?

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:09:02

I got Tuvalu.

Tuvalu is to 'Pointless' what 'It's not Lupus' is to House. grin

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 19:10:50

My counselling supervisor is as mad about eurovision as I am. His partner hates it. They're in a caravan for the weekend so he's going to inflict it on him while texting me during the show. And he also says they're going to Amsterdam next year if the Netherlands win. :-)

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:13:14

Ooo....a small confined space of a caravan....that'll teach the partner !! Lol

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:14:57

I have just had a flashback to the year Bucks Fizz won Eurovision. Apart from the fact we won, all I remember was the fact my parents were painting the sitting room- and putting coving upgrin. They painted it a colour called 'bamboo'- in gloss! It was a kind of baby-shit colour.

Classy. grin

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 19:21:29

������ brilliant flag Raah!!!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:29:12

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SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:30:41

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AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 19:31:52

Just had half a bottle of wine with dinner. I am stopping drinking now until it starts.

I cannot wait! I have been humming Waterloo and last year's winning song all day. DD has to learn Dana's song for school (God know's why) so I have been singing that too.

Tonight is going to be fabulous! I love love love Eurovision!

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 19:32:19


Ireland... although we're no longer in it

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:32:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 19:33:11

ihate they were away in the caravan last year too. grin

AnyaKnowIt Sat 10-May-14 19:33:57

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

Best I could do for San Marino

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:34:06

yay! flags!

So- the quest is on to make flags out of smileys.

I wish I was drinkingsad.

AnyaKnowIt Sat 10-May-14 19:34:21

Oh it didn't work sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:35:53

The person who manages to do the Union flag, wins the internetgrin

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:36:58

Ilovesooty Caravans make me want to think of HOTELS instead! Much more to my satisfaction! Haha

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:37:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:38:26

I am new to mumsnet .....smileys are a bit advanced fir me!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:39:26

Suffolk- that is very impressive grin

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:39:29

See. Suffolknwhat. You are just showing off!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:48:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 19:49:44

sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad


sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsad angry sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad

It's hard to get vertical white lines of any thickness.

sittingatmydeskagain Sat 10-May-14 19:50:25

sad brew angry brew sad angry angry sad brew angry brew sad
sad sad brew angry brew angry angry brew angry brew sad sad
sad sad sad angry sad angry angry sad angry sad sad sad
angry angry angryangry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry
sad sad sad sad angry angry angry angry sad sad sad sad
sad sad sad angry sad angry angry sad angry sad sad sad
sad sad brew angry brew angry angry brew angry brew sad sad
sad brew angry brew sad angry angry sad brew angry brew sad

sittingatmydeskagain Sat 10-May-14 19:51:06

Suffolk, your's is amazing! Mine went all wobbly!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:51:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 19:51:59


ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:52:09

Yes ....suffolknwhat.......sorry all....she wins hands down.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 19:52:53

Wow Suffolk!!!

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 19:53:35

Do I write the word in brackets to do the smiley then?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:54:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 19:54:12

Ah yes.


Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:54:20



you are definitely the winner of the internet.

And, dare i say, possibly in need of a hobbygrin.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 19:57:14

Love love love Imelda May on Nat Lottery gringringrin 'I won't spit on me hands'

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:57:25

Are we nearly ready?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 19:58:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 19:59:37


SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 19:59:57

I'm in - cant wait!

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:00:00

Prosecco popped winewinewinewine

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:00:07

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SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:00:32

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Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:01:08

And both kids asleep!!! DH has already abandoned me muttering something about divorce... stupid programme etc etc

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:01:41

So, despite people liking our song how many points do you think we'll actually get?

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:02:06

Last year's winner really looked like Isla Fisher.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:02:07

We're all set. dS1 and I have crisps and enthusiasm. He's never actually watched Eurovision before (he's 13), so he's in for a treat.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:02:40

But why aren't the subtitles working on sky?

PennySillin Sat 10-May-14 20:02:41

Wow! Loving the flags ladies smile

Here we go!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:02:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:02:50

Ok, I have opened another bottle and I'm ready for show!

Secret I am guessing we will get 42.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:03:29

Dh is actually watching- but he's on the cider, and has been up since 2am, so I expect to be throwing things at him soon when he is snoring. grin

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:03:31

Will Austria be the winner?

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:03:38

Is this the Eurovision thread?

<settles in>

Seen nowt of it so far

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:03:39

How about as many as ...20 ? James your heart out!

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:03:43

Oh Cal you are such a good mother!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:03:54

Ah. Ds1 put on the audio description instead. Silly boy,

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:03:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Evening all. I have had half a bottle of wine and watched BGT. How is everyone?

OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:04:55

My eurovision loving dh is away for the weekend so I'm watching solo tonight.

I'd love to yabber about it on Twitter but I think some of my friends would be annoyed so I'll come here if I may.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:05:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:05:19

Here we go!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:05:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:05:33

Anne: it's obviously vital for his knowledge of... Erm... European politics and geography that he watches Eurovision.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:05:34

Graham's in fine form already. Did he just call them wankers?

PennySillin Sat 10-May-14 20:05:35

Good thanks Sparkling wine in hand here we go!!

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:06:30

Look at that audience. So many men, so little....testosterone grin

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:06:45

Where have I been until now?

How have I missed the bearded lady?

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:06:45

They usually have a green room special on BBC 3 afterwards. Not this year.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:06:53

Exactly, Cal, it is his cultural education.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:07:17

Dh keeps mis-hearing Molly as 'Marley' and has asked if we have a singing dog performing.grin

Belarus!! <not really>

BGT was crap. Eurovision must be better! grin

wine Cheers all.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:07:42

My Eurovision loving DH is away,too for the weekend. Luckily my dc loves it-we're all settled & ready to go!

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:08:06

DH is not impressed.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:08:16

Do they usually do this?

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:08:31

I still wish Latvia and georgia could have gone through, as they were both totally bonkers

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:09:01

boos for Russia.

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:09:04

Dont think Russia will be getting many votes tonight!

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:09:05

I've never known this parade beforehand. Or do I usually just block it out?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:09:08

I don't think so, Raahh

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:09:28


Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:09:34

Oooh- Ruth from X Factor- i liked her!

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:09:35

I drew France on one of the Chat threads, so for one night only, I namechanged (as DS asked me too grin )

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:09:41

Looks like sebalter forgot to wear his jumper. Not good.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:09:48

It's a bit unnecessary hmm Just get on with the songs!!!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:10:14

What is she wearing???

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:10:14

Raah. Can't remember if so but it gives me time to top up!

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:10:14

That was a fab cheer for Molly

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:10:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:10:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:10:45

Did Molly get a big cheer? Sounded like it.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:10:47

And the bloody forehead jewellery.

(Btw, I should disclose that I have zero sense of patriotism. Indeed, negative patriotism).

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:11:15

Hi everyone! So excited grin

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:11:29

Lise looks like one of those paper dolls with that you hang the clothes on.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:11:40

I might change to


Latvia were robbed!grin cake

Graham sounds pissed off already!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:11:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:12:23

Oh Casper's hair looks better tonight-phwoar!

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:12:26

Why the hell don't we get to use the other voting options??

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:12:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:12:37

Chappie on right looks like the love child of Leo Di Caprio and Ewan McGregor.

Leo Di Gregor

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:12:49

I'm in! It was close, we had to do a mercy dash to Sainsburys for wine and nibbles.

Why can we only vote by phone?

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:13:19

No one votes Graham, it's fine

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:13:20

Presenter looks like Emilia Fox.
Except skinnier.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:13:23

I hate this jurys nonsense. Just have a public vote.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:13:31

Here we go!

I got Greece in the Chat thread, so GO GREECE!

But really, GO MOLLY

TucsonGirl Sat 10-May-14 20:13:52

Why can't UK people vote by text?

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:13:59

I would've voted if Latvia were still in [sulk]

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:14:00

They've got three and a half hours to fill.

Ah. Hamster wheel.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:14:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:14:08

Is Carrie Grant the one from CBeebies Pop show?

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:14:30

Human hamster, here we come.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:14:33

Anne - it's probably down to money. The app would probably be free to vote. we need to re-coup the money we have put into this circus somehow!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:14:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:14:53

Kate Bush!!

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:14:53

Why is she in a hamster wheel?

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:15:26

Could never have imagined Gwen 'tick rock' Stefani having the wheel in her vids!

PennySillin Sat 10-May-14 20:15:28

Not a winner hamster wheel or no hamster wheel!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:15:31

Anne- she is indeed. Popshop. Terrible programme, where she jumps in high heels like a deranged rabbit.

Hamster man!

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:15:38

You are right, that will be the reason, Raahh.

That's what I was thinking, Suffolk but couldn't remember the name.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:15:39

Poor girl, what a minger

NormHonal Sat 10-May-14 20:15:46

I need more alcohol already.


QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:15:51

The hamster wheel is the only good thing about this.

Except maybe the frock.

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 20:16:10

How appropriate that tea and sadness can fit into so many flags.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:16:15

I am always impressed at her high-heeled jumping, Raahh.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:16:20

Tick tock croc-look out Captain Hook.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:16:34

That dress seem influenced by Game of Thrones Daenerys'

LottieJenkins Sat 10-May-14 20:16:34

Now here! That Austrian singer is going to give me nightmares!!!

Rummikub Sat 10-May-14 20:16:37

Hi, I keep thinking I want a Cadbury's chocolate finger now.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:16:37

Get your heel caught in that wheel love and it's all over. I'd stand back

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:16:39

Those aren't real....

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:16:52

At least it will be remembered (in 2 hours) as the one with the hamster wheel.

A gimmick is essential if you are drawn first. grin

Am here smile I've paid no attention up until tonight so it all can be a lovely surprise!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:17:04

Ds1 says the only thing interesting about this is the hamster wheel. He's clearly cynical enough to watch this.

OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:17:06

I was surprised that Russia got voted through in the semis.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:17:49

I want to see Hamster man doing that after a few pints

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:17:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:18:02

The voting will be interesting, especially for the Eastern bloc countries.

Mm mm cheesecake.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:18:07

We've already seen these flag bits in the semis.

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:18:18

The BBC is going to wear out that flashing lights warning.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:18:20

<Pulls up a stool>
Waves at calam!grin

Was waiting for the hamster heel to crush her entirely

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:18:20

Cheesecake - yes please!!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:18:22

yay! it's me!


toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:18:33

Kitten you're in for a lovely treat!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:18:37

oh crap, that didn't work!

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:18:43

Oh, it's this one. sad

It's going to be specially interesting - you are right Nutella.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:18:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.


SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:19:03

Something about Mary hair going on there!

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:19:12

Well, cheesecake. It's certainly cheesy enough.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:19:18

This man in no way resembles a cheesecake. Just saying.

OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:19:19

I want The Wiggles Iceland to win. Especially as one of them is an Icelandic MP!

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:19:21


Well he's lost my vote, I'm a low carber

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:19:30

Whys he not singing Google maps tonight?!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:19:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:19:57

Are you angry Raahh?

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:20:03

Emoticon fail raahh grin

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:20:05

Waves at Cremola.

The dance routine for this is truly dire.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:20:08

Beards are definitely having a moment.
Large number of them abroad tonight.
These are like funky cheesemongers

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:20:11

I'm with you, Odd. Wiggles or Swhistlers.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:20:16

The subtitles said google maps. maybe it's an advertising this?


And now I'm hungry!

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:20:26

If he turned up with cheesecake I'd take the food and then shut the door on him.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:20:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:20:49

Huey from the fun lovin criminals obviously lost his 6music gig for this...

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:21:13

definite emoticon failsad

It's an omen, that having drawn Belarus, I will not wingrin


CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:21:22

grin@ tea

It's bit 'Blue' isn't it. All Rise.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:21:29

And tbh even if I did have a cheesecake, I wouldn't be giving pieces of my sweet cheesecake away willy nilly.

Presumptuous twat

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:21:34

I love Graham Norton.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 10-May-14 20:21:35

The hamster wheel was a strong opening. We're tweeting about it on #MNvision if you fancy joining in!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:21:49

tea- dh just said it looked like him too.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:21:54

Ooh a plastic light sabre

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:22:01

Azerbaijan is the trapeze one?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:22:07

She isn't going to light any fires.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:22:24

Boo! Azerbaijan shouldn't have got through. Boring boring boring.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:22:34

Arse crack revealing dress

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:22:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:22:42

Nice guns

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:22:44

All i remember about this one was her nice hair.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:22:45

Now where did I hear the phrase 'fun loving criminals' the other day? Hmm ponders...


AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:22:51

Don't try and steal our posters, KateMN

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:22:55


Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:23:03

And the swing, obviously!grin

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:23:03

I meant singing lady guns

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:23:09

Yes that well known European destination Azerbaijan

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:23:10

The trapeze was the most memorable thing about this one. No one will even remember that Azerbaijan were in it by the time it comes to vote.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:23:40


QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:23:40

How did this get through? Anyone?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:23:45

Oh yes, told! See, Doctors has its finger on the pulse of popular culture!

(1.45pm BBC1 - fantastic thread on MN!)

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:23:53

I've noticed that a lot of the dresses are more modest this year, with the nudey colour insert coming quite high.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:24:02

'start a fire' is a dramatic title for a very dull song.



CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:24:18

This isn't literal enough. There should be a fire. And then they could use the trapeze to escape it.

LottieJenkins Sat 10-May-14 20:24:19

This is cheerful!!!

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:24:22

Is New York in Azerbaijan ? Why the backdrop?

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:24:32

She's pretty though.

But why so sad?
has she been told to LTB?

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:24:32

Anne grin

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:24:45

I expect Azerbaijan got all the votes that usually go to Turkey.

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:24:46

DD, aged nearly 14, has sent a secret text from Guides Camp asking if this has started and she's not happy to be missing it... grin

Don't think Azerbaijan will be winning, it's a bit forgettable.

she does have lovely hair though

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:24:59

This is interesting with the subtitles because she is singing in English but it doesn't sound anything like what the subtitles say she is saying.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:25:01

The woman on the swing was good

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 10-May-14 20:25:03


Don't try and steal our posters, KateMN

<climbs in hamster wheel>

"Come and be my cheesecake"

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:25:04


Nice frock though.

Ajerbaijan out depressing the most depressing sounding Coldplay song!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:25:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:25:13

Cal- exactly. It's what Pan's People would have done.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:25:33

Is it over yet?

Ooh the angst and fist clenching.

OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:25:39

SecretNutellaFix Wait until you see the Polish washerwoman!

Why was she wearing a vest?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:25:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:25:57

Yay! The Wiggles!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:26:08

It's the Wiggles!

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:26:12

Here come the Teletubbies.

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:26:13

"make love not war!" cringe

Wellwellwell3holesintheground Sat 10-May-14 20:26:16

So far the DC's complaints include:

The hamster wheel is not fast enough
There aren't enough songs
The trapeze is not high enough
There are too many gaps
The man (Graham Norton) is weird

And a large amount of why are they doing that?

They're driving me nuts.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:26:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:26:19

Hello Anne yay a Doctors promo !

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:26:31

Excellent it's Iceland.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:26:32

The Wiggles!!!!

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:26:36

Is this the wiggles?

Iceland Teletubbies

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:26:47

I love Purple Wiggle. His beard is ace.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:26:47

WIGGLES! Strong contenders for my vote today.

grin nice suits!

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:26:55


OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:27:01

"Even if you’re taller
Or someone who is smaller
Or perhaps you’re thinner
Or one who loves his dinner
Listen to what I say
cause every-buh buh buh buh buh buh
body looks the same on the inside
And it puh puh puh puh puh puh puh puh
to wear a smile

Let’s do away with prejudice
don’t discriminate, tolerance is bliss
we got to get together on this
cross this problem off our list
I may stutter when I speak
(but) you don’t need to call me freak
it’s not trigonometry
inside we’re the same
buh buh buh buh buh buh…"

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:27:11

W t f
That guitars not plugged in btw

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:27:12

Haha, cross post with a million!

This is EXCELLENT grin

OddBoots Sat 10-May-14 20:27:27

Raahh Purple wiggle is the MP.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:27:29

I may even vote for this.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:27:29

Orange Wiggle was in Prisoner Cell Block H I think?

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:27:36

Oi, oddboots, don't diss the Slavic strumpets! I got them in the draw hmm

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:27:44

Raahh: that should be the key phrase for people doing staging for Eurovision. What would pan's people have done?

Inertia Sat 10-May-14 20:27:49

Icelandic Wiggles !

Iceland have my vote so far.

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:28:00

They're like the cbeebies Ramones

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:28:04

Loving this grin

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:28:22

It's like balamory on aceeeeeeed

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:28:23

Wellwellell Send them to bed. They clearly don't deserve the musical excellence of Eurovision.

Wellwellwell surely it is past their bedtime, no? wink

I am pressing my gold buzzer for this.

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:28:31

A winner, this.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:28:32

quazxc- tbf, our song is no better lyrically- all 'children of the universe' and 'power to the people' schmaltz. And it's not even funny.

This is ACE!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:28:48

DS1 has decided he loves this one. His favourite is the MP, who doesn't seem to do anything much.

Rummikub Sat 10-May-14 20:28:58

Love the wiggles!

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:29:00

I like them (even though they clearly are not playing their own instruments)

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:29:08

The purple one looks like Castro

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:29:21

Bloke in orange in the back looks like my BIL

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:29:24

Inside we like, ARE all the same though aren't we

<fist bumps left tit>

<standing ovation>

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:29:36

I LOVED that! I was chair dancing and clapping along. The lyrics were fab!

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:29:45

Now back to sadness... sad

My favourites were the weird blokes at the back in purple and orange. DO you think tey were in the band or just got herded on stage in the kerfuffle?

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:29:49

They are not allowed to play instruments live since 2003. wink

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:29:56

I agree. The lyrics to ours are cringeworthy. This is at least funny.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:30:01

Now would be a good time to go to the loo or pop the kettle on.

DS decided he does now want to watch after that

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:30:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:30:15

<hangs self>

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:30:19

This guy should have borrowed the curling team's stylist.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:30:27

I like this one Norvege!

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:30:29

This dirge sounds a bit like it's been influenced by "Mad World"

thefemaleJoshLyman Sat 10-May-14 20:30:30

Hi all, can I join you?

I loved Iceland, the rest so far forgettable but loved the suited ones.

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:30:32

Its Rufus Hound's brother!

What happened in 2003?

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:30:43

That song was my Angel is a centrefold fold rip off!

Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme close up. I can count his nose hair

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:30:46

Agh, chubby men in leather strides with their jacket sleeves pushed up.

That's the true spirit of Eurovision.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:30:49

He's not cheered up any, this bloke. Like a Norwegian Guy Garvey.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:30:49

Featuring Richard Vranch on piano
More scandiwegian earnestness

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:31:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DD (12) likes the flag making

Ooo fogs rolling in.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:31:22

Was this the theme tune to the bridge?

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:31:24

Curling pants are so last month Anne

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:31:24

It's like he ate Dave Gahan

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:31:42

Come on in JoshLyman grin

God this is a snorefest.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:32:02

SirNoel gringrin

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:32:07

Curling trousers never go out of fashion, told.

Why are the violinists wearing dressing gowns?

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:32:10

He should marry the girl from Azerbaijan and sing sad duets together.
their children will be pretty and constantly in therapy.

sayanything Sat 10-May-14 20:32:15

My 14-year old, overly sentimental self would have loved the Norwegian entry. Now, I'm thinking Get a life.

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:32:15

2003 was when the UK got nul points. Not sure whether that's relevant.

I actually like this song.

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:32:29

He's doing that fisting thing to prove how deep and meaningful the song is. it makes me stabby.

thefemaleJoshLyman Sat 10-May-14 20:32:32

Norway. Dull.

Imagine if the fog was acidic and it ate his feet away shock

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:32:35

sirnoel grin even my ds laughed at that

Who let Coldplay enter Eurovision on behalf of Norway?!

WanderingAway Sat 10-May-14 20:32:48

This is the first song of the evening that i can understand what is being sung. Is any one else having the same problem?

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:33:05

He has a nice tone to his voice, but lord, depressing.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:33:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:33:25

GN sinister lol

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:33:47

Circular piano time.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:33:53

Wuthering: you need to turn the subtitles on.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:33:57

This is what we expect from Norway.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:34:03

The piano shaped like a stargate.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sat 10-May-14 20:34:08

Curling pants are not last month, told.

Am having to listen on the radio. I beginning to feel Eurovision loses something if you can't see the performers.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:34:14

Transylvanian Gary Barlow innit

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:34:21

Is it the same man?

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:34:34

Wandeting Hit the red button for the lyrics!

WanderingAway Sat 10-May-14 20:34:38

A circular piano?!


Because it is eurovision

Love graham nortons commentrygrin

OublietteBravo Sat 10-May-14 20:34:41

What is the circle in the background for?

How did she do that? Have we invented transporters?

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:34:49

Is it just me, or does this one feel stupendously amateur?

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 20:34:51

Waving pompoms madly for Norway, ruining morose ambiance..

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:34:55

Chinese Year of the Beard obvs

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:34:56

Anne- it definitely would have helped!

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:34:57

The guy in this looks like Liza Minelli's husband.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:35:01

Wind machine's getting a good workout tonight.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:35:03

Wandeting Hit the red button for the lyrics!

at least it is upbeat, couldn't take another dirge

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:35:23

Big box little box like its 1987

Yer mans getting off with the stargate

AnyaKnowIt Sat 10-May-14 20:35:24

Romania are shit

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:35:26

I've never forgotten the trousers when Norway first got nul points. grin

WanderingAway Sat 10-May-14 20:35:31

Edu - thanks smile

Romanian entry is quite catchy!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:35:50

He'll play the circular piano in a bit. Never fear.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:36:16

Someone said it was Liberace's toilet seat!

Rabbitcar Sat 10-May-14 20:36:19

Loving it!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:36:27

By play I mean 'play' of course.

Wellwellwell3holesintheground Sat 10-May-14 20:36:40

Dammit. DD has just gone and got wine from the fridge and glasses for me and DH. They can have 10 more minutes...

As long as they STFU.

Piano can play itself!

DS thinks they are constipated

onedev Sat 10-May-14 20:36:43

Joining thread late - thanks for red button tip grin

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:36:47

Oof this is awful grin

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:36:48

She looks like the scary Kardashian sister.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:36:49

It's a bloody miracle if they are an actual couplewink

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:36:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toldmywrath Sat 10-May-14 20:37:02

Could you watch it live on You tube?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:37:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:37:12

Kitey Armenia are on soon. That's another dirge.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:37:20

Ah, time for vampire guy!

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:37:24

Elvis Costello innit!

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:37:35

Thought this bloke was cooking up for a minute....

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:37:37

coffee aren't they all scary? grin

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:37:49

Er nope.. Only from the side...

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:37:53

try if you want to watch on the pc

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:38:22

fair point.

He looks so sad sad

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:38:40

Breaking bad Armenia stylee.
His surname is mp3
Pomegranate brooch of terror

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:38:40

my shoulder wants you to be known??????

I am hearing this right?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:38:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Don't cry sad

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:38:54

Didn't get the beard memo.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:38:55

Some songs are trying out to be sung in their native tongue.

ilovesooty you are not wrong.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:39:05

I really can imagine this guy turning into a bat and flying off.

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:39:19

It's David Schneider.

Finbar Sat 10-May-14 20:39:21

Tim Burton wants him for his next film

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:39:25

He'll be alone if he's always this glum.

PepeLePew Sat 10-May-14 20:39:26

Thank you thank you for the subtitle tip. I've got a proposal to write for work but I've also got wine and Eurovision subtitles so there's really no contest.

Armenia a bit shit though. Loving the circular piano...

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:39:26

Kitten, he looks constipated.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:39:37

It's very Matrix. he needs to fly. He needs a gimmick.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:39:52

In fact, turning into a bat and flying off would be an excellent t way to exit the stage.

thefemaleJoshLyman Sat 10-May-14 20:39:58

Another really dull one. His voice is awful.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:40:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrGeresChocolateButtPlug Sat 10-May-14 20:40:04

'you nap alone'

Odd choice of lyrics...

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:40:08

This one could really benefit from a circus turn

sidneypie Sat 10-May-14 20:40:16

This Armenian lad looks like he needs a good nights sleep.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:40:25

See now he would look better with a beard.

PennySillin Sat 10-May-14 20:40:28

Or a hamster wheel........

How is this one of the favorites?!

It's terrible.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:40:47

He's quite earnest and well as dour.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:40:48

The lyrics are dreadful for this... How was it ever favourite.. DH has returned and is pissing himself laughing

grin Nutella!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:40:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:40:51

Be alone or snog him! wouldn't anyone tell him to jog on?

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:40:56

I'd vote for him if he turned into a bat!

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:41:01

I hope they don't win. Armenia has a massive underreported DV problem I believe. angry

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:41:06

Well, he seemed happy with it. Bless.

ooerrmissus Sat 10-May-14 20:41:07

God this is terrible. Where's the funny props? The mad costumes? Do these people not know anything about Eurovision???

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:41:10

In a balloon?

Wellwellwell3holesintheground Sat 10-May-14 20:41:10

FFS DS1 now having a strop because this song is so bad.

WanderingAway Sat 10-May-14 20:41:15

If i am not alone who the hell is watching me #stalkeralert

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:41:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:41:44

Oh yes, the roller blading dancer

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:41:45

my counselling supervisor said Armenia's song is absolute shit!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:42:10

Oh, it's the woman who didn't get to go to Sochi.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:42:10

I hope she falls over to liven this up.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:42:10

It's ok, we have a roller blader.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:42:12

Titanic rip off

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:42:15

Ooh I want some twinkly skates....

Quite like the start of this.

InkleWinkle Sat 10-May-14 20:42:38

This is the song from Titanic??

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:42:42

He has gone for the Micheal Bolton look.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:42:46

I have no idea how this got through. It must have been sympathy because they never qualify.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:42:57

'You know I'm lost without your arm' gringringrin

OublietteBravo Sat 10-May-14 20:42:57

Oooh - creepy guy with cheesy smile and dancer on skates...

InkleWinkle Sat 10-May-14 20:42:59


CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:43:00

Near far wherever you are........

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:43:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:43:24

It's because of them skates.....

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:43:29

he looks like tiny from hollyoaks

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:43:34

DS reckoned vampire bloke was unimpressive (big word for a 10 yo)

PennySillin Sat 10-May-14 20:43:39

I like the roller blading!

his smarminess reminds me of nanfucker

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 20:43:42

Armenia fits in the category of 'Songs Worse Than Ireland'

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:43:43

Please fall
Please fall
Please fall
Please fall
Please fall

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:43:43

I feel this is a contender for nil points.

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:43:46

damn it Tony not tiny

beachyhead Sat 10-May-14 20:44:07

Oh dear, we've found the lyrics.... Half family in Montenegron(!) and half in English grin

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:44:09

There's a bit of Blood brothers Tell me It's not true in there as well.

BigBirdFlies Sat 10-May-14 20:44:26

Is it just me, or are the sweeping camera angles making anyone feel a bit seasick. It's distracting from the songs.

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:44:28

He does have a touch of the shakey nanfuckers about him yes

If it was a different singer and song it might be ok.

ouryve Sat 10-May-14 20:44:33

This guy has cute dimples and lovely eyes, even if the song is a bit too earnest.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:44:34

This does feel like it's been going on for hours.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:44:34

math- that is a small category. grin

<runs away>

WanderingAway Sat 10-May-14 20:44:39

Is that a smug smile or am i just focused on his REALLY white teeth grin

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:44:49

Me! I definitely can't read, speak or sing...that language.
What language(s) is spoken in Montenegro?

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:44:52

My world
my heart
I love you.

It's the only thing I know..

I still love you.
You're the only one for me..


ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:44:55

Ilovesooty. That's because the caravan walls are distorting their view!?

OublietteBravo Sat 10-May-14 20:44:56

He's found some friends

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:44:59

Is she skating or rollerblading?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:45:12


coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:45:13

I might have paraphrased I bit...

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:45:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

qazxc Sat 10-May-14 20:45:17


ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:45:49 come s the eye candy!!

sidneypie Sat 10-May-14 20:45:50

Ah Poland - DH has suddenly taken an interest

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:45:54


'Carry on up the Eurovision'


SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:45:58

Carry on up the Eurovision grin

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:46:07

I like a bit of polish rap me

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:46:11

DH has put down his phone and is now watching eagerly. hmm

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:46:12

Now this is more like it grin

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:46:17

Hey mickey without the pompoms

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:46:19

Definietly carry on up the Eurovision.

EduCated Sat 10-May-14 20:46:30

Ah yes. The Slavic ladies.

cheeky girls?

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:46:44

I have to make do with the sky subtitles because the red button is not hd and it looks dreadful although fuzzovision might be better for Poland.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:46:44

Hope you're all shaking what Mother Nature gave you grin

teaandthorazine Sat 10-May-14 20:46:50

Or, on second thoughts with pom-poms, of a sort

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:46:51

Eek it's like a Shampoo/ Tatou mash up.

With 70's wallpaper

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 20:46:56

Yes, only the select few qualify Raahh.

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:46:57

Poland not even pretending to be subtle.

Ubik1 Sat 10-May-14 20:47:00

DP has just got out of the bath to watch Poland

The sad bastard

PleaseJustShootMeNow Sat 10-May-14 20:47:04

Yeah! Go Poland! A proper Eurovision song.

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:47:05

This is jut missing a pole!

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:47:10

Tony basil crossed with cheeky girls slash peasant rappers

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:47:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Have just worked out how to do subtitles. Hot blood eh, who knew?!

OublietteBravo Sat 10-May-14 20:47:40

Ah - I see that getting wine has made Eurovision revert to type. Goodo

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:47:42

What is she waving?
her bra?

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:47:46

Tverking all over' t'shop

ooerrmissus Sat 10-May-14 20:47:50

Genius this. Why can't the uk do this?!

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:47:58

Ds1 is looking utterly horrified. I'm feeling quite proud of that (he's nearly 14).

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:48:04

A WENCHgringringrin

Bloody hell shock

CooCooCachoo Sat 10-May-14 20:48:12

Oh my good god.....

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:48:16

I wish I had vodkasad

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:48:28

Ubik 1. Hubbie must be transfixed

FryOneFrenchCroissant Sat 10-May-14 20:48:43

Hope you're all shaking what Mother Nature gave you

No chance, I'd just knock everyone out by accident grin

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:48:45

My DH appreciates beautiful women, but even he's raised his eyebrows and is not enjoying this.

Gooseysgirl Sat 10-May-14 20:48:51


coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:48:51

Oh dear lord?
watershed much?

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:48:54

This is like something that might have appeared on Eurotrash.

Soft porn with a butter churn and scrubbing board. Ugh.

sailorsgal Sat 10-May-14 20:49:04

pulling out all the stops to get a vote. grin

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:49:17

More strobes

SecretNutellaFix Sat 10-May-14 20:49:18

He just described it as an advert for sex services.

mathanxiety Sat 10-May-14 20:49:31

I think the Grannies had a better schtick than the buxom Polish lasses.

So for me:

thefemaleJoshLyman Sat 10-May-14 20:49:42

I'm sure her breasts were getting bigger! pumped by the butter churn lady?!

Go Greece!

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:49:44

Ahh yes, the trampoline one.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:49:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 10-May-14 20:49:49

Raised in London is stretching the truth a bit here. He left London at about 10.

DH tells me he may need to go to Poland on business in next 3 monthsgrin

SirNoel Sat 10-May-14 20:50:00

Trampolining? Of course there is

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 10-May-14 20:50:01

Trampolining time!

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:50:07

Grechenland does urban

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:50:10

or 'tram Poe leaning' as the subtitles said.

imnottoofussed Sat 10-May-14 20:50:15

Polish porn at this time of night

AnyaKnowIt Sat 10-May-14 20:50:16

ARF at dockyards

OublietteBravo Sat 10-May-14 20:50:19

Ok - so presumably Greece can't actually afford to win

ilovesooty Sat 10-May-14 20:50:21

Greece are always fun. Anyone remember "Alcohol is Free"?

coffeeinbed Sat 10-May-14 20:50:49

Have they cloned these blokes?
They are all the same.

QueenOfThorns Sat 10-May-14 20:51:01

Ooh, bouncy!

This one is my favourite so far (Greece)

Raahh Sat 10-May-14 20:51:06

'Alcohol is free' was a classic!

SteadyEddie Sat 10-May-14 20:51:09

Good job Terry retired a few years ago, he would have had a coronary at seeing Poland's entry.

Rabbitcar Sat 10-May-14 20:51:16

Dd2 loving the Greek boys!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 10-May-14 20:51:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremolaDItalia Sat 10-May-14 20:51:29

No barbers in Greece either.
This will win because of the jumping.
Europe like to jiggle

ihatehousework2 Sat 10-May-14 20:51:38 are showing true dedication knowing that!

ooerrmissus Sat 10-May-14 20:51:38

Boogie boogie