X FACTOR- 2/11/13- it's D.I.S.C.O week!! Let's boogie!

(948 Posts)
Raahh Sat 02-Nov-13 09:33:47

I have to go out tonight <sob>.

So here is the list of spoilers- and it looks like we guessed most of them on the other threadgrin

Abi Alton – I Will Survive

Hannah Barrett – Somebody Else’s Guy

Kingsland Road – Blame It On The Boogie

Luke Friend – Play That Funky Music

Nicholas McDonald – Rock With You

Rough Copy – September

Sam Bailey – No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)

Sam Callahan – Relight My Fire

Tamera Foster – Wishing On A Star

Bit cruel to give Joan 'I will survive' when she probably won't.

Isn't 'no more tears' a duet?

Doesn't someone do 'Re-light my fire' every year?

And I'm going to miss itsad

So, I expect inciteful, pithy commentary in my absence.
And bitching.
grin

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 12:20:58

Why no Halloween week? we know all the stagings for all the songs and its always good to see someone murder 'Thriller'

Raahh Sat 02-Nov-13 12:39:20

It's very sad that they have skipped Hallowe'en week.sad Maybe it's because Sharon has nicked all the costumes?grin

It will all be a Horror show, whatever happens. 'I will survive' as JL ballad? Bring it on!

And they didn't take ONE of my suggestions? <sulks>
Off to get NN list.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sat 02-Nov-13 18:08:45

How is Wishing on a Star disco?!

Abi Alton Joan Lewis

Sam Bailey Loose Screw

Hannah Barrett - Sausage Droll or Greggsorcist

Sam Callahan Either I Can’t Believe it’s not Bieber (ICBINB) or Wrong Direction?

Tamera Foster Ta-MEH-rah

Luke Friend - Mowgli/Crood/Sideshow Bob/Swampy/KimberleyDoesn’tWash/Max Wall

Kingsland Road The Merkins

Nicholas McDonald Wee Jimmy Wanky or Pob or Wee Barra

Miss Dynamix Preggaz’n’Peng MissDirection

Rough Copy Duff Copy Woof Copy Bun Loving Criminals Snuff Copy Bail Bros Rough Criminals Refused Entry

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 18:27:00

Oh Raahh we will miss you sad

AND THOSE SONGS ARE SHIT

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 18:32:37

They must have someone reading these threads.

So predictable.

But we'll all still watch avidly grin

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 18:32:49

The songs are shit Noel, I agree!

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 18:41:40

Ben isn't wearing much

They always do Relight My Fire. Always. So tedious.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 18:52:10

Oops, wrong thread

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 18:59:51

I suppose we should be grateful for the shitey songs <sigh>

We wouldn't want them murdering any of our favourite ones would we

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 19:01:10

No Boney M though....no Baccarat....pah

<kicks cat>

He's wearing even less now, Maryzed grin
Whaddya expect Noel? Hmmm? You should know it of old at this stage.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 19:12:47

Marks place while trying to imagine Joan doing Disco.
<snorts>

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 19:40:42

I'm torn between being ridiculously excited hmm don't get out much and dreading to see Joan torture herself and us

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 19:45:08

Why 'Joan Lewis'? confused

I am having FRUIT tonight <healthy>. And not even in fermented or chocolate coated form. Get me.

You might get BoneyM at Christmas, Noel. If you're v good.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 19:52:45

<brightens up>

I'm having chocolate coated peanuts and tea

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 19:55:46

It's because they are setting her up for the Christmas John Lewis breathy warble advert, MyChild <bless you> grin

Did they do DISCO last year? Nanfucker could have done BoneyM.
'Granny Cool'?

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:00:04

It doesn't seem like a week since the last show!

I'm all comfy and I'm not moving for anyone tonight.

I have pizza, chocolate and cake!!!

pizza chocolate and cake is better than my satsumas foshizzle <fingers>

I have high hopes for Shiny Pleatherness tonight. I think Sausage will be in that silver spandex number they had MEsha/Tesco mary in

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:02:31

Ben and Jerry's and piña coladas here (special frozen ones ��)

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:02:46

Thanks BOF grin

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:02:52

Nanfucker is supporting Jane McDonald in Blackpool. I was gutted I hadn't bought tickets when I heard.

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:03:47

You saying satsuma has made me want a chocolate orange!! I am having a greedy weekend, can you tell? grin

How old is Jane <suspicious>?

Ooh just remembered a box of heroes for Xmas in the cupboard, might have to grab some with a stiff drink if those songs are anything to go on!! here we go grin

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:04:54

50 I think Sue! Old enough to be a nan!

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:05:01

Gotta love a bit of Dermot dancing!!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:05:25

Nanfucker and McDonald eek. If that doesn't command the birth of the antichrist in Blackpool that night, nothing will.

Shitsinger's looking foxy tonight, as is Shazza

grin. But old enough for Christopher? Praps not

Shitsinger is nicely oiled, innit?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:05:48

<settles down>

<opens family sized bar of dairy milk>

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:06:02

Oooh liking the hair!!!

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:06:34

I love Nicole's hair!!

God but all disco is shite. Purest shite <pokes self in ear>

Lighthousekeeping Sat 02-Nov-13 20:06:48

I don't know why I put myself through this every week. I knew I should've gone to bingo.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:06:51

This is the disco bit obvs.

The acts won't be, that'll be the same old shite.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:06:57

I see the wardrobe crew were dressing them all in the dark again.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:07:44

Fucking Hell, some rude beggar is letting off fireworks now! It's bad enough with out "Bang! Bang! Whoosh!"

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:07:49

Sue! wash your mouth out

Disco is fab <memories of self at youth club grooving to 'Mighty Real'>

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:07:59

Any bets on how pissed shazza gets as the programme progresses? My vote is the 'water' goes down pretty quick grin

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:08:04

Guest stylist this week, Stevie Wonder

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 20:08:27

Nanfucker supporting Jayne McDonald? She a tad young for him, but I guess he'd still enjoy having the job of holding her breasts up.

sorry, snice, but I Speaketh Truth. Tis the purest of shite.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:09:14

Anyway, who are these people? Whats going on?

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:09:20

Maybe they have no contestants as they are all on voice rest, this is it for the whole night! (Hopeful)

GobTheGoblin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:09:30

Are they having timing problems 'cos they've never had a non competitor sing live on a Saturday for a long time and this song is going on for ever!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:09:32

I stand corrected - by the dancing she's already more than half way there! hmm

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:09:54

but it is wonderful shite-~I give you.....Rose Royce for example

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:10:52

Jane McDonald gets all upset when people are compared to her on XFactor, coz working on a cruise ship is hard and she is a good singer, she told a Wimmins magazine! grin

oh good,adverts. I was exhausted by all the tellybox content.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:11:02

<rolls out Merkins banner>

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:11:18

I just went to fast forward the ads! I forgot it's live!

I hate the ads.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:11:40

People dancing around wearing sheets does not a persuasive toothbrush advert make.

Ad break already,time for another G&T grin

GobTheGoblin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:12:50

Has it been confirmed that the Flash vote has been axed?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:13:33

Right I am absolutely knackered tonight and doubting I have it in me to last the distance..I need something controversial to happen or something. And I don't mean Sausage being good or anything like that. Something dramatic

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:14:28

Noel would shazzer getting trollied and falling off her chair do it? Cos I rekon it might happen!!!

Aw, missed opportunity there for The Merkins to do 'I'm Coming Out'

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:14:53

I'm thinking the same Noel

I've got a headache coming on and feeling pretty meh.

This had better be a good 'un.

<glares at TV>

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:15:43

I would love Shazza to fall off her chair

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:16:20

Did Louis forgot Luke's name there?

Louis unbuttoned one shirt button too many on the sofa with KimberleyDon'tWash there.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:16:53
Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:16:55

I love a challenge? Mate that hair is a challenge in itself! hmm

Ewwww. All the Ewwws <shudders>

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:18:22

Fuck this is actually painful - my dog just left the room could have been fireworks

Was I right? Have they finally done a Monica on his barnet?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:18:40

Heh at young Tarzan.

What's that vivid colour I see on my screen?

Oh yes, it's the several shades of Wrong.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:19:03

Ewww indeed Sue!

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sat 02-Nov-13 20:19:11

Play that fucking music!!!! grin

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:19:25

Oh get up. hmm

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:19:48

Someone explain to me how he can lay upside down and his hair still stays the same?????

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:19:54

Oh bless him. I do like this young lad, but for the love of God- rowing boat maybe, hair clips and metallic boots no.

He sang it alright though <grudging>

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:20:20

He's very pretty

Jellykat Sat 02-Nov-13 20:20:23

I actually thought he was good! grin

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:20:41

What are they listening too?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:21:16

My nan calls him "the cute one" grin

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:21:17

Luke was not good. There was no feeling in that at all.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:21:23

I'm glad my kids can't sing. They'd make a right show of me arguing when the 'stylists' were trying to force them into a pair of gold boots!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:21:41

Oh he didn't just compare him to Johnny depp??!

A little Johnny Depp? Is that based on the guyliner and the ropey half-dreads?

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:21:58

He reminds me of the curvy one from Girls Aloud!

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:22:12

Right, where are we?

I'm catching up after SCD

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:22:14

Kimberley?

Merkins now <bounces>

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:22:25

Can Johnny Depp sing?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:22:45

Ah cheesy merkin time.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:23:23

I'm really no pt sure about Kingsland Road. They make me feel a little bit sick.

RalphGnu Sat 02-Nov-13 20:23:36

DP just said that, MyChild.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:23:46

am praying they are going to be chanelling The Osmonds in white jumpsuits

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:23:47

Yay the Merkins!! grin

Him - Jimmy No Dance - looks like Pinhead would have looked had he NOT been twatted with a spade.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:24:17

Oh God

Ogodogodogodogod

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:24:22

I do like the song though.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:24:27

Ankle flapper pants <squee>

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:24:40

grin grin sue

Shades o'Westshoite there and not in a small way

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:24:48

It's weak.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:04

better than I expected although to be fair my expectations were set very low

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:17

Jazz slide!!!<claps hands>

Lawks, and this is them after a week's work?
Awkward. Poor Merkins.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:29

It's cheesy.. But it's not bad!

Jellykat Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:31

ZZzzzzzzzzzz

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:31

Do they want some pickle to go with all that cheese?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:49

Urgh Louis just looked like he was cumming.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:49

Shows that nobody can touch Michael Jackson. RIP xxx

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:25:54

Crouchy finger clicking <dies>

RalphGnu Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:03

Speechless.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:11

They look a little less bouffant than usual.

<sad>

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:38

Did Luke have a backing track singing for him?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:39

Yes that was poor <stoical>

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:43

Nicole is rather frightening looking tonight.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:26:45

That took a week of choreography? Wow hmm

I do like Big Clapping. And Finger Clicking.
Put them together and it's a WIN all the way.

GobTheGoblin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:27:15

Cheesy mccheese

At this rate my gin bottle will be empty very soon!! I can't control myself either grin

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:27:21

She's right though - too planned.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:27:25

reluctant I just snorted grin

Shitsinger and Bruno from Strickly. Ever been seen in the same room?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:27:44

Shitsinger is from Noo Yoick this week badda boing badda bing

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:28:34

Jimmy no dance says 'like' a lot.

RalphGnu Sat 02-Nov-13 20:28:36

grin Noel

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 20:28:51

I can't post much tonight because I have a guest staying, sorry, but I'll endeavour to pop in a bit with the usual smut...

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:29:14

Shitsiinger is really becoming a bit of a perv.. It's weird hmm

A Guest who is One of Us, Boffles? We need the smut. For balance <looks slitty eyes at thread>.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:31:23

shes not becoming a perv! ! she is!!!

Just popping in, not been on here in ages.
Nicole has scary hair.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:32:36

sharon will say fabulous at some stage

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:34:11

Can't afford it afford it afford it

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:34:54

Oh shes 16? They should say it more often.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:35:05

DP just said that he thought Nicole was younger than 50!

Is she sixteen? Why don't they tell us? Lawks, we could inadvertently not be nice. Fancy.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:35:23

16? Really? Must have missed that the first thousand times they said it!

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:35:35

she's only 16 everyone-who knew?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:35:53

How old is she?

Do we think the thing she's changed about her life includes a Superdrug ban and a 9pm curfew? Surely not.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:36:26

Zzzzzzzz

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:36:29

Has she burnt her roots?

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:36:31

Wtf happened to her hair??!

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:36:32

Her hair is....is....inexplicable!

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:04

yawn

Fabulous hair. Makes her look more than a little like her own Bobblehead doll. Coming soon to a Tesco's Reduced shelf near you.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:09

How is this disco?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:19

Boy she can sing though!

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:35

her hair is...............no,I have no adjectives

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:45

forgotten words?

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:37:55

reluctant she's only 16 didn't ya know!

Goodness, are those sparkly tracky bottoms? That's a style choice.
Useful though. Distract from the utter tedium of the performance.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:11

how can she sing?

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:39

pmsl how old?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:47

She can sing but I can't get past the niggling certainty suspicion that shes not very naice.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:55

SHES ONLY 16 PEOPLE!!!!!

RalphGnu Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:58

Sorry, I missed what Louis just said. How old is she?

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:38:58

only 16 you know

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:39:09

16 but still able to bully

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:39:10

She's 16 ? They never mentioned...

I wish we knew her age. That would make me vote for her.
Nothing like basing your decisions purely on someone's survival rate.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:39:52

not very nice pffttt!!!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:39:54

It had Nicole all over it? She's now going after girls and boys that are too young for her?

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:00

OMG, only 16! shock

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:04

Is she a bully? What info have I missed out on?

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:31

She's so beautiful <sigh>

I'd let her off a spot of shoplifting.

Runandbecome Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:32

Nicole and Tamera seem to have had the same hairstylist who loves labradoodles.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:39

Seriously, is Shitsinger channelling Streisand just because of the curly hair?

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:40

Quick! What's the number to vote? She's only 16 therefore I must vote!

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:47

Did you see Nicole's fake smile?

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 20:40:55

Completely against this lovely slagging off thread but Tamera has it.
If she doesn't win this, there's no justice.

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 20:41:09

God, Nicole properly GRIMACED there grin

Stripped Down <picks up chasing stick>
Obvs the phrase du jour. I'm adding it to 'wow factor' on my Phrases that Make Me Contemplate Murder list.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:41:31

she beat up another girl last year stomped on her apparently!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:41:34

Oooh I like Sam!! He's cute and I fancy him a bit

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:41:40

she's had 16 years to develop a personality yet nothing is there

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:41:49

I don't like this Sam bloke. He's bland and forgettable. And what's with that older woman sitting with the young lads in all the clips of the house?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:42:29

Did she? Nasty.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:42:37

Yes ladyBE

She really can sing. Unfortunately that has nothing to do with who wins

ICBINB took Louis to a football changing room? He never did.
Lots of early baths that day, I bet

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:42:45

I detest Relight My Fire

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:42:59

awwwww bless

GobTheGoblin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:16

Reluctant, that's Sam the only over 25

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:17

It's bad. Bad. Really bad.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:18

Oh my god Gary's face was fucking brilliant grin

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:27

What the actual fuck

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:30

Barry looks horrified grin

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:36

Oh Jesus. Not relight my fire. I hate this bloody song.

And he's flat. Gary will rip him to shreds

Was he honestly better than everyone else sent home from bootcamp?

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:44

This guy is very pretty.

I think my tv is out of tune confused

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:44

Are those photos of Sam fighting himself?

Wow. Just, wow.

Classy.

Jellykat Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:50

Bazza looked impressed.. not
This is a pile of pants!

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:43:54

oh dear!!!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:01

ADRIENNNNNNNN

ROAR, even Bazza looked gobsmacked then
They've just given up now, hoping that topless pics will swing it.

I think Louis has put a LOT of himself into this choreography. The Wang decided.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:10

He's terrible, really, really terrible!

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:30

Hi all

Agreed Noel relight my dire

How was tamera?

GobTheGoblin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:48

The only over 25 left.
Sorry I got distracted by Bazzas jaw hanging open at who over this is singing relight my fire.

snuffykins Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:50

Rewound that twice just to see Gary's face over and over. Brilliant! Says it all.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:44:57

16!!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:45:08

Let's just move on eh, nothing to see here

It's mostly based on some Special Dreams Louis had when managing Westshoite. Except for the girl dancers in the red wigs. They weren't in the dream. Well, they were, but they were black policemen.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:45:23

I do like Sharon's hair.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:45:36

That was dire... And I like him.. But fuck that was painful... fit body though

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:45:37

lol sue

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:45:56

Sue grin

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:46:17

I like shazza Hair too!!

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 20:46:25

Like ringo Starr not being the best drummer in the Beatles

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:46:30

Sue ha ha.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 20:46:30

To be fair, some of them aren't much better

UB40fan Sat 02-Nov-13 20:47:00

Sam seems to have very short legs! Out of proportion to the rest of his body.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 20:47:09

So what the fuck is he doing in this contest?

He's dreadful. Doesn't matter how hard he works.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:47:23

Why does Louis always bang on about how his acts are hard workers?

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:47:26

god I wish I hadn't watched all of breaking bad! !!

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:47:41

Poor kid defending himself.

The Wang O Meter likes him, Chubb

Muss-Kulls? You're right, shitsinger is pretendy Noo Yawk tonight. She was Latina t'other week. Versatile.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:32

Tamehra was good Iorek, boring but good

hopefulordeluded Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:38

Who's genius idea was it to give Sam a Gary Barlow song when Gary Barlow hates him already..

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:39

'Gary wrote that song' omg I just laughed so loud I scared the dog!

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:42

He mentioned the voice.

He's toast

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:43

God he's shit, isn't he?
Oh Gary, mean but true.
Everybody else is better than him, apart from Joan.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:48:50

Oh breaking bad - brilliant

YY Joan is in no way better than him. And that surly one from Preggaz wasn't.
Poor ICBINB

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 02-Nov-13 20:50:05

What's happened to Nicole's accent all of a sudden? confused

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:50:13

wasn't it lorek?!!!

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 20:50:41

Is it me or does shitsinger never actually have her own opinion. She waits to hear what Gary or Sharon thinks then says the same with some corny insincere shit added on top!

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:51:16

Thanks Noel I always miss the beginning sad but sometimes it's for the best grin

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:53:51

Yes flabby and plus her made up words angry

Oh Walter or may I call you skylar wink the best tv in years!!!!!!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:54:16

Barry clapping and smiling and nodding

He hasn't a clue what they're saying

Flinging satsumas

ROCK'N'ROLL, BABY.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 20:54:36

Rough copy grin

Now listen up boyz. If you work hard enough, you too can fly to a warzone. And then mention it a LOT. Shoot for the moon, lads.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:55:29

Noel grin

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:55:51

you may of course lorek x

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:55:52

pleather trousers bingo

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:55:55

Ooh ooh! I think I predicted these would do Earth Wind And Fire

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 20:56:04

OK this isn't terrible. The falsetto was a bit of a stretch.

Only half a skirt tonight? <saddened>

crypes Sat 02-Nov-13 20:56:26

Penguin trousers !

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 20:56:41

why is that guy always wearing a money belt??

It's authentic. Not one word is distinct or identifiable.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 20:56:50

Wow a war zone or chasing the laydeez???? hmm

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 20:57:27

Quite enjoyed that

<sniffs tea mug>

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 20:57:48

I like Rough Copy.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 20:57:59

me too
<downs pint>

MrsSJG Sat 02-Nov-13 20:59:48

I love Mrs O grin

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:00:11

They are so cool.

Joan and Wee Jimmy <sharpens claws>

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:00:54

God is this not done yet? How long is it?

BasicFish Sat 02-Nov-13 21:01:16

LOVE Rough Copy!! They're so bouncy grin

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 21:01:21

They make me homesick for south londonsad

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:01:48

I like Rough Copy too.
And Tamera.
But it's so not in the spirit of the thread.
Bring on Joan.
I need someone to mock.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 21:02:23

I am really looking toward to Abi does disco

<coughs>

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:02:32

its like watching an episode of Casualty where they build up to the big car crash with a few minor shunts. Joan must be shitting herself

Poor Joan. It's not her fault she's not sixteen

Redcliff Sat 02-Nov-13 21:03:04

Adding my like to Rough Copy - haven't really got them before but can see what everyone is going on about now

BasicFish Sat 02-Nov-13 21:05:48

I think it's all the synchronised swinging hips and pleather and bouncing.. <wibbles>

Mind you when Kingsland road do synchronised hip swinging it makes my ovaries scream and hide behind my kidneys.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:05:54

I quite like both the groups.

--but I like wand erection too-

I think they bully Louis <sadface>

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 21:06:45

Basic grin

BasicFish Sat 02-Nov-13 21:06:53

Oh dear god, Lidl have jumped on the shit breathy copies of rock tripe bandwagon angry

In related news, Abi!

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:07:02

<hides behind cushion and peers through fingers>

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:07:14

Bet she cries.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:07:21

Stop snivelling

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:07:23

There was a thread on hear a couple of weeks ago suggesting running up the stairs every advert break? Anyone up for this with me ?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:03

I can't stand her.

UB40fan Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:15

Rough Copy the crotch clutchers

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:16

I have watched this just for this moment.. Go Joan!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:41

So she's singing it slow then yes?

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:43

Oh god this is it. John Lewis ad.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:43

No no no

I predict another 'stripped back' coming up.

evem - I tidy three things in the ad breaks, usually. Not in XF tho, too much bitching to be done. Can't spare the time.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:08:51

Has Nicole got a coldsore on her bottom lip?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:06

Ow ow ow

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:09

I don't have stairs, but I'm happy to cheer you on, evem

while scoffing chocolate

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:16

i like it

Yawn.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:22

YAWN

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:26

Yes that's right, she's singing it slower.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:44

Disco?

OoooOOOOOOOooooooooooo <sways>

I'm overwhelmed with the need to buy a kitchen mixer and a scarf and mittens set. It's uncanny.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:09:55

It's like the original but slower.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:09

I don't think this is too bad akshurly.

<shame>

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:10

This is disco?


Get down.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:25

Too much lippy. It's on her teeth.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:25

Is this the one for putting kettles on?

garageflower Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:41

I do like that she's putting a twist on it but I'd like to see her do a faster paced one (Elton John does fast with a piano) and the others do a slow one.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:43

just reminded me, I must get some new pillowcases

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:51

UTTER SHITE

GingerLemonTea Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:57

What was Abi's first audition song?

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:10:57

At least she can play an instrument and sing in tune. Don't think it was bad at all.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:11:04

I'm waiting for a troupe of topless muscle guys to leap in leading Jerry Hall on a big white horse.

<taps fingers>

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:11:17

She does NOT have the X factor.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:11:21

I thought it was quite good actually.

I liked her twirling with the glittery pianner. Like someone has opened the world's most depressing jewellery box.

ll31 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:11:31

I loved that song... Awful arrangement....

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:11:58

It was I Will Survive sang slowly

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:12:11

Disco? Balls.

ROAR at Bazza. This is why I've been a cunt to you - twas all for your own good. Now stand still while I steal some of your glory.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:12:25

Her family all wear the same glasses.

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:12:30

Oh FFS stop bleating Nicole!
Absolutleyyyyyyy

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:12:45

grin Sue.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:12:54

Is shitzinger actually ingesting substances right now?

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:03

Shazzer's reading MN.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:04

which all goes to show what a shit mentor Shitslinger is given whats shes performed the other weeks

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:24

This guy is bloody good!

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:43

She's on the wrong show

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:45

How old is he?

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:13:53

That was NOT disco.
Crap Sharon, she didn't follow the theme this week.
She's a one trick pony.

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:14:01

Aw I like Nicholas

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:14:05

Hahahjust me then m I doubt my running up the stairs will do much considering I am sat scoffing ds halloween sweets

Wee Jimmy Wanky ahoyhoy. How old is he again? Eighteen?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:14:21

Oh bless, his little Steven Wonder head watching the iPad.

Pogosticks Sat 02-Nov-13 21:14:28

I feel sorry for Abi because she works at morrisons and will have missed their £9 Baileys.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:15:02

Uh-oh.

I hope he gets to teh final, so he can sing with Mickey Bubbles.
The two of them side by side may make me do the lolling so hard I never stop.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:15:25

Oh evem I would but I live in a three storey house. I'm saving up for a stannah as it is

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:15:37

Louis is very skilled.

He can screw anyone up.

Ewwwwww. MORE of the ewwwwws
I don't want him to rock with ANYONE all night. S'nasty.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:15:47

I can see the dancers' buttocks.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:00

Not a terrible singer.

Everything else is terrible though. He's like Rab C Nesbitt's son doing Stars in their Eyes.

Pogosticks Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:02

Oh Jimmys normally good. This is not good.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:19

Oh I am DYING at the bobbing up and down dancing

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:26

I hate beanhead sue!!

ROLLER DISCO! COS IT'S DISCO WEEK! AND HE'S YOUNG! DO YOU SEE?

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:48

As a mum of an 18 year old son, I just want to say don't do X Factor, Come and give your mum a hug.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:52

Pelvic thrusting on roller boots.

Impressive.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:16:52

His voice is ok but he's so little.

Who are these roller skating people?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:14

Bless was that Chico I saw roller booting in the background? Nice to see he's still getting work there

Nice to see the short dancers getting some work though

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:18

He looks so very awkward. An uncomfortable. An some more awkward.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:23

If the got rid if Louis, the shows profits would double.

The extras are never ending

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:34

*and not an.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:37

I'm slightly disappointed.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:40

I can never get over how small he is. He'd come up to DS2's knees!

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:41

£9 baileys? How have I not heard this! I knnew I should have started shopping at morrisons!

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:46

getting a bit pervy there sharon be careful love!!

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:17:52

NO WE DON'T NEED NORTY LITTLE BOY! NO!

Can I say on behalf of the world, we do NOT want to see more of his Naughty.
No.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:18:06

God yes the lyrics are drastically inappropriate for a practically jail bait teenager

And he's got no personality

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:18:25

Did you see Nicole sulking and twisting her hair?

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:18:28

What is Nicole on?

And what is on Nicole?

Has she stolen Beyoncé's hair?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:19:01

Nicole wants to rock with him all night. Oh dear.

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:19:07

Hes better than 95% of the acts we've seen so far tonight.

Lucky that Shazza has a roomy pocket, innit?

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:19:20

He hasn't got the X factor, he's got the personality of a lump of coal!

Pogosticks Sat 02-Nov-13 21:19:29

Evem get down there - it's £9 for a litre - total bargain smile

Sausage comin' up
Brace yersels for pleather.

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:19:54

I think I actually HATE Nicole!

Does she think she is the Nigella of Xfactor,

She is seriously fucked up in the head. She needs to watch herself back after the show and learn to shut the fuck up next week.

Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!! Cannot cope with anyomore Nicole!!!

Is being completely deranged a necessary part of the job to be a judge on this?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:20:18

Are all the flavours on offer?

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:21:12

On irish radio every Monday the have a competition counting Louis-isms.

You ring in and guess how often he says pointless things; then they play them all in a single go.

Last week it was 50 ish phrases. And it's getting longer every week.

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:21:25

Its not on offer anymore. I missed it. sad

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:21:28

what size bottle?

crypes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:21:35

These kids need to look at old videos of Robbie Williams when he was starting out, he was arrogant, cheeky,cute,sexy,annoying all in one act within a group of other boys, that's how they should be , this is their big chance.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:21:54

dammit

I miss irish radio most of all, Maryzed. Do they still have Tractor Tuesday?

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:23:02

Actually good point but they should go back to the source material. Freddie mercury, my god what a performer.

No. Nobody needs to be modelling themselves on Apeface. Never any call for that.
FFS. One is waaaaaay more than the world needs or wants.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:23:08

Actually good point but they should go back to the source material. Freddie mercury, my god what a performer.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:23:58

I really like that Heinz soup 'winter' ad. Which is unusual because I never like ads

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:24:48

how much make up Caroline got on?!!

Caroline Flack, paid to Poke the Bruises.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:25:25

Ooh the Flackster looks like her in Grease tonight- Marty

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:25:43

if only we knew how old Sausage was

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:25:46

I dunno Sue. No idea what TT is

Good lord. The Leopard Print. My eyes.

Pogosticks Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:01

Sorry I wouldn't have mentioned if I knew it was finished
blush

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:14

I don't care about your background- can I just get that out there, I don't care

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:52

Noel , i quite like it aswell, if any ads are going to interupt my telly watching I want it to be that one

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:53

Fuck off pinhead

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:57

As he had a career, the pointy faced lad?

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:58

Who?

Oh he won.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:02

I don't know who looks sadder, her or James Arthur.

Used to be on a Tuesday (funnily enough grin) morning Maryzed. Himself D'Arcy I think. People used to ring in to describe their tractors grin

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:06

Has.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:09

They should have given her a bit of Chaka Khan then she could have had the big hair too

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:26

WTflyingFuck?

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:36

I thought she was going to sing the Lion King then.

I have to say, she's got pipes...

Pinhead is either locked in the building or verging on stalker.

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:47

Jaysus, my eyes

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:49

The stylists hate her

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:56

haha me too Tawdry!

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:27:58

What a voice.
What a shit dress.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:04

god the stylist really hates her don't they

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:05

God I love this song.

Pinhead is either locked in the building or verging on stalker.

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:19

James Arthur "the mouth like a bumhole with teeth"

My favourite quote from all the x factor thread last year.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:22

I thought she was stuck somewhere and was screaming to be let out!

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:23

Oh FFS Nicole!!! Sit fucking still.

Where is the Xfactor egg throwing woman when you need her??

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:36

Oh, yes, I remember now grin

Vair sophisticated, irish radio.

Thought I'd post that twice for no reason

Proper Ursula the Sea Witch dress, that.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:48

x post Noel
shes dressed like Shirley Bassey

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:54

I love this Hannah tho. not keen on the dress tonight though.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:28:58

pinhead??

BasicFish Sat 02-Nov-13 21:29:04

Dear god, thought Hannah was about to launch into the Lion King opening song then!

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:29:09

I like the gold records in the background.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:29:15

Lolol I forgot about that quote MrsW

Onoes. Winking. I cannot cope with winking.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:29:17

She's kind of shouting a bit really though. It's not tuneful. Just loud.

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:29:21

Bring simon back thats what I say

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:30:07

Yes snice.

How to make a large person look really awful. Tight, revealing dress, and skinny (relatively) backing singers.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:30:17

That's like Diana Ross's Chain Reaction frock.

But a bit bigger, plainly.

DrHolmes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:30:19

'parently shezza cole is coming back

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:31:09

Oh will someone humanely destroy Nicola Shitsinger?

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:31:12

Nicole!!!!! aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!

What the hell is going on with her tonight???

Seriuosly she needs putting down.

They could just have easily given her I Will Survive and got Twirly Joan to bore the living fuck out of that song <muses>

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:31:49

She laughs like a little Rusty Lee

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:31:57

do u not like her flabby?wink wink

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:32:14

true story noel

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:32:17

<she should have done I'm Every Woman>

grumble grumble

Maryz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:32:27

Nicole must be on something on these shows. She comes across as relatively normal in the VTs confused

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:33:07

She is defo on something. And she has no brain.

walterwhiteswife Sat 02-Nov-13 21:33:10

blue meth bitch!!!!!!grin

That lego ad is creepy. Child aged six speaks like Gandalf? wtf?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:35:39

Innit Sue

I swear DH just got teary at the Lego ad.

Probably cos I won't have it in the house

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:35:44

The Lidl ad was worse. Looked gross.

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:35:48

I saw a Lego VW camper van and thought I'd buy it for DS2. It was £87.90! shock so he is not having it!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:35:54

Thought Hannah started off well but well downhill very quickly afterwards..

Looking forward to Sam Bailey.. Least she can sing!

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:36:13

I didn't like that creepy wink at the end.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:36:27

like Diana Ross's chain reaction frock. But bigger

ARF.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:36:40

Sam should be the best now - at least she will know what bloody disco is!

Lidl ad is the unholy mashup of the Iceland Fanjo Buffet ads and the Johnny Loulou ads. Breathy soundtrack AND beige foods.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:36:46

Hmm.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:37:18

Shazza with no make up! She's human!

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:37:20

Sassy walk...

'when i worked at the prison'?
Do we think Loose Screw has given up the day job?

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:19

I tell you what, makeup is a wonderful thing.

Ooh, she can sing can't she?

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:22

She's so much slimmer than that awful frock made her look last week

She is also the only person who can really sing

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:30

I wouldn't massage Shazza's face too hard it might slide off

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:41

We started watching this an hour after it started. An entire hour. And we've caught it up.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:43

Fucking hell she suddenly looks much thinner? In a week????

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:38:55

She looks good.

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:05

I like Sam as well. I think she looks fab tonight!

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:12

this is one of my guilty pleasure songs-I love belting this out

She's like a little Nanfucker.
Is that a catsuit? <boggles>

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:42

The dancers have forgotten their trousers!

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:43

Sorry. I really do want to like her, but it IS Jayne MacDonald.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:45

She's selling the ass off that, isn't she?

Only thing is, I keep thinking Madam Jo Jos.

KinkyDorito Sat 02-Nov-13 21:39:59

I'm going to get me some glittery side-strips. They do wonders apparently.

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:40:04

I see Nicole is still swinging her arms about doing the sitting dance. What the fuck is up with her????

She is all Look at me me me me me me!!!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:40:19

This is like my theme tune to my kids hmm

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:40:21

I want Sharon to take me to that spa. Has she actually had lipo?

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:40:26

I think she was the best of the night.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:40:49

Oh god, is anyone else wanting her to catch a bit of ticker tape in her lucky gap?

She's like a not-so-little Adele with that barnet

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:01

That was good

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:13

PERFORMER Barry, you ARSEHAT.

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:18

god Madame Jo Jos : those were the days. I once got my toes squished by Kenny Everett on the dancefloor

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:19

Can you get Lipo in a week? wonder where else Sharon took her

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:21

Gary loves her. He wants to kiss her.

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:26

Something has gone badly wrong with the robotic wiring inside shitsinger's brain tonight.

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:32

Is she quite well?

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:33

Tawdry grin

I'm missing this - fucking visitors! How long till Joan gets kicked off?

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:41:33

Yes Nicole ENOUGH is bloody ENOUGH.

Fuck off now please!

Utter Arsehat <nods>

FUCK OFF LOUIS with the yummy mummy shite

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:06

I like Sam bailey.
I think I'd like her to win.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:18

Yeah, how rude, Louis.

Louis has a soft spot for the overs, innit?
And a harder spot for his boys, obvs

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:42

Arsehat?!!!!!!!!!

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:45

Gary, if she handcuffed you and began to mount, you would SHIT yerself.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:50

Nicole is really pissed isn't she?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:56

Snigger.

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:42:57

What the hell is wrong with Nicole's voice?

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:43:18

Nicole is off her tits. That's for sure.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:43:29

I'm wondering if Nicole got Sharon's water glass!

FlabbyAdams Sat 02-Nov-13 21:43:30

Wheres the number to vote Nicole off the show?

All over <phew>
Back for the group mashup tomorrow. Literally cannot wait.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:09

Thanks Ladies grin

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:20

where did the flash thingy go?

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:27

I liked the flash vote.

Chubfuddler Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:30

But I infinitely prefer shitzinger to biffa cole.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:32

I ain't no lady.

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:49

Oh wow I thought it finished at 10 o clock, what a bonus. It's like Xmas has come a little bit early grin

TawdryTatou Sat 02-Nov-13 21:44:54

So far this evening I have learned that bits of Sharon's face have fallen off and been hastily reapplied, Nicole is on the marching powder, Gary is, indeed an arsehat and Louis has turned into the pissed old man on the Fast Show.

God, I've missed this.

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:45:03

Bottom two predictions?

Luke and somebody?

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:45:23

dont put me through the cringe dancers again

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:45:34

I think the Merkins and ICBINB.

Mittensonkittens Sat 02-Nov-13 21:45:35

Luke and Sam Callahan?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 21:46:03

Right.

That's that.

See you tomorrow.

Raah, if you're reading this before watching, I really wouldn't bother. Recreate the experience by pressing on your eyelids until the colourdy lights come, and squealing to yourself in an unconvincing falsetto. Job done.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 21:46:12

Ah now is the time to vote which I never do, but still whinge when people I think are crap get through.

ReluctantBeing Sat 02-Nov-13 21:46:13

Sam C and Abi.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:46:57

Luke and Nicholas for the bottom two please

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:47:06

See y'all tomorrow night

ICBINB and the Merkins I think. Unless the tabloids have done a real hatchet job on Tamehra.

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:47:41

Why are they back?? What's going on!!!!

Nicknameinvalid Sat 02-Nov-13 21:48:17

Well that was weird.

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:48:54

Ladybegle has described every timr I bave ever watched x factor in one sentence

NoelOfLorst Sat 02-Nov-13 21:49:02

Ehh??

Dont they normally announce the bottom person?

I forgot about that and just remembered it again confused

Oh well.

WipsGlitter Sat 02-Nov-13 21:49:05

Is there no flash vote?

IamInvisible Sat 02-Nov-13 21:49:53

Why have they got rid of the flash vote? Do you think people have been saying it's not fair that one contestant gets 24hours to prepare and the other only gets 2 minutes?

evem123 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:50:00

Im a celeb advert excites me

snice Sat 02-Nov-13 21:56:02

ICBINB and the Merkins for me - I reckon Joan has done enough to pull in some votes from the half wits who think she 'made the song her own'

scaredycat12 Sat 02-Nov-13 21:56:58

More likely they've realised that if everyone thinks the flash vote loser is rubbish and should leave they stop voting for anyone else as they think their faves are safe.

Assumed the flash vote was so we'd get to bypass Louis being fucking mental or terminally indecisive.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 02-Nov-13 22:04:14

Abi to go.
I've so had enough of her.

Raahh Sat 02-Nov-13 22:25:15

<sneaks in at the back.

Still sadI missed tonight but
pmsl - I've just got in and seen Sue's advice.grin

I think I will wizz through it on fast forward in the morning.

I now really get why people say the thread is better than the programmegrin

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 09:30:53

Yep, Sue's advice is spot on grin

I think ICBINB and piano girl bottom two.

I missed why they got rid of the flashvote - though I'm not surprised. I said at the beginning it would be a disaster because they would only get "live watchers' votes" - so skewing the vote away from the ones they want to win teenybopper voters.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 10:15:08

I am trying to catch up this morning, but I really need to get organised. Ds goes to China on Tuesday, and I am in denial and haven't even started the packing. I really should get off my arse on with it.

But I will just watch a bit whilst everyone ele is occupied...grin

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 10:16:42

not the best start- Dermy and dancing girlshmm.

And Shitsinger has come as Donna Summer.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 10:18:25

They are mixing things up this week- why is the guest on on a Saturday?hmmconfused

It will just show up how shit the contestants are at Disco, surely?grin

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 10:22:49

First thought- Luke was dull, and looked grubbier than usual.
and someone has stole the Merkins' socks. That was how good they were- all I could focus the socks, or lack of.

Right. Will be back.

thistlelicker Sun 03-Nov-13 10:42:21

Oh my days!!! Just catching up!!! What has that boy
Done to relight my fire !!!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 10:50:09

DH and I watched the whole thing in under 45 minutes. Pretty much just watched the comments. Thank God for Sky Plus and fast forwarding smile

There was an article on digital spy this morning stating that Nicole was absolutely NOT drunk.

Haha.

thistlelicker Sun 03-Nov-13 10:53:49

Since when did Gloria gaynor just have her song play with a piano !! Ffs

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 10:58:35

It's hideous isn't it Thistle? How anyone can allow that to be done to Gloria Gaynor is sacrilege....

thistlelicker Sun 03-Nov-13 11:01:08

Hahahahahaha @ shit singer saying we gonna rock at the disco but not that way because your twelve

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 11:04:31

[arf] at Raah watching and talking to herself grin

I'm not convinced she is drunk any more, because she is like this every Saturday [baffled]. I think it's something else.

thistlelicker Sun 03-Nov-13 11:06:00

Oh dear Hannah looks like a Xmas cracker !!

CalamityKate Sun 03-Nov-13 11:10:47

Could someone please teach Barry how to pronounce "performance" and "performer"?

Surely at least one person on the show has noticed? It annoys me.

thistlelicker Sun 03-Nov-13 11:12:54

Sam Bailey was amaze bobs !!!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 03-Nov-13 11:16:44

Ok, do I even bother with this this afternoon?

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 11:22:23

No, it was particularly awful, I thought.

Next week I'm recording and only watching from 9. I'll miss the thread though sad

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:19:42

Right- Raahh's X Factor. re-cap part 2.

Tamehra's hair is getting bigger by the week. How did her and Shitty fitinthe same room?

Very disappointed in the absence of fire during ICBINB's performance. Wtf has it to do with boxing? It was very dull Saturday night karaoke, and Shazza was talking bollocks.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:22:06

This is great- I have discovered you only need to see 30 seconds of each performance to get the gist. And the judges always talk rubbish. So, I can watch the whole thing in15 minutesgrin

Duff copy were wearing low crotch pleather. With sparkles. It was off putting.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:26:17

ooh- Joan. This going to be the opposite of Disco,isn't it?

This doesn't make me want to survive.

I can't decide whether I like it or notconfused. It's missing roller skates , though.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:27:13

Actually, it's reminding me of the covers album Tori Amos did. Not as good, obviously.

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 12:28:30

<replies so Raahh doesn't feel like quite such a saddo>

"Shazza was talking bollocks" - good summary for every week.

yy to watching costumes, listening to 20 seconds and possibly one judge's comment, and seeing the lot in half an hour.

Joan looked like she didn't actually much want to survive grin

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:29:03

Wee Barra seems tohave mistaken Disco for 'Bay City Rollers' Week. What is he wearing??

And why do they always have him on stage with scantilly clad laydeez.angry

ROLLER SKATES!!

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:30:36

thanks Maryz for making me look less pathetic.

oh Shitty. You've gone all American drawl-y.confused

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 12:32:47

I'm actually struggling to join in with your conversation, because I can't remember any of them.

Apart from Joan.

And the glittery fishtail mermaid dress, whoever that was shock

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:32:48

oh look, it's sausage's turn to dress up as Ursula. grin

and ooh, no-one has ever done this song before, oh no. ...

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:33:33

I'm up to glittery fishtail. She's sparkly.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:35:45

In fact- they boughta lot of the glittery fabric and just stuck itall over everything.

LooseScrew giving it her very best 'Saturday night at the Captain's table ' cruise ship performance.

And it's meant to be a duet. <humph>

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:38:00

She looks like she is wearing the Diana Vickers 'Studio 54, what's that then?' jumpsuit from that advert. With added panels.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:39:35

So- there's no flash vote, and no explanation? And I watched the whole thing in minutesgrin

(this means I will have to do some packing).

Back later for the results grin

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 12:39:52

So, you're done in about 15 minutes grin

Who are your bottom two? I'm struggling to choose but I think I went with Joan and ICBINB

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:42:32

I think ihave to agree- Joan looked like she has admitted defeat.

And ICBINB was just extremely dull.Not being Bieber can only get a person so far in life.

But the Merkins were quite rubbish too- but i think they will be safe.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:43:40

ooooh, the bloke from Snow patrol. I like him.

Taylor Swift, not so much.

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 12:44:21

The Merkins make me smile, and not a lot else does on X-factor atm. Apart from the thread of course.

Sue was suitably pithy last night grin

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 12:45:10

grin

right....off to sort stuff out.

SkullyAndBones Sun 03-Nov-13 14:15:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pithy like an ORANGE, baby. YEAH.
<no idea>

Calamity - does he say preformers? What does Bazza do wrong?

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 14:32:04

Are we going to fit the results show on this thread?

Does that show how viewing figures are plummeting - I remember filling a couple of threads a night shock

Or was that nearer the final, maybe?

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 14:40:42

I think we might just manage to stick to this one(unless I go ff na one-woman waffle fest).grin

Depends if folks think the thread is slow, I guess.

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 15:17:56

This thread and it's predecessors are infinitely more entertaining than the programme.

But to be fair the same is true of the apprentice, and downton is touch and go

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 15:43:14

I've given up on Downton sad

CalamityKate Sun 03-Nov-13 16:09:06

Praformer.
Praformance.
Prat.

CalamityKate Sun 03-Nov-13 16:10:57

.....although I still would.
I'd praform on him. Oh yes.

Right here we go, I'm home alone with a large bag of Phileas fogg cheese and New York deli relish bubble chips don't cha know which I shall only eat half of bring on the "singing" grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:00:37

Were we actually told why there was no flash vote?

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:00:39

Are they going to do a Hallowe'en mimed group song? Like Thriller or summat really unexpected?

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:01:11

Evening all!

I was watching some shit TV this morning, they pointed this out! At the end of KIngsland rd last night Dermmie picked his nose and was rolling it in his fingers as he was showing them off! <vom>

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:01:43

Cool- even though I skimmed through it all at breakneck speed, I don't recall them saying why the flash vote didn't happen.

Don't think we were told about the flash vote, maybe they think we won't notice! Little mix, yay hmm

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:02:53

Same with the whizzing through. Have they just realised what a complete waste of time it is?

But what will they do if there's no deadlock???

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:03:09

DS1's friend who is a massive Wandies fan was in the audience last night, he was seen on screen clapping along to Sam Callahan. DS1 hates the XFactor, as do most of the rest of his mates, so the friend has been getting a ribbing on Twitter!

Evening all. I hear they were mostly shit last night, but it should be Joan and not beiber in the song off if there's any justice.

I feel crap so I'm dosed up on a billion different medications and have no wine. Hopefully the fuzzy head feeling will dull the pain of xfactor. I never wanted to hear from little mix again.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:04:22

Shazza and Nicole holding each other up there.....

Just had a thought, what were little mix called before they were re named little mix?

Gary's tie is so skinny you can see the button lines of shirt behind it.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:05:31

if there is no flash vote, doesthat not mean there will be dead lock?

BOF Sun 03-Nov-13 20:05:35

WHAT'S with the slow raising of the heads? grin

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:05:40

Rhythmix Honey.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:05:48

Live Dermot? Really?

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:05:51

If there's judge deadlock it's the lowest from the public vote

Oh god. The group sing.

Comfysoft Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:03

I hope Nicole has come off whatever it was she was on last night!

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:10

I think they were Rhythm Mix.

Aww, sad no Hallwe'en song.

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:13

Still wearing the pleather skort

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:16

That's what I was wondering Raah...

BOF Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:40

And why is Tamehra wearing a Bag For Life?

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:06:49

They've put Joan on a separate stage. Is that so she can exit the building more quickly

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:07:13

Is it me or does Joan never have a solo bit in the ground sing?

NoelOfLorst Sun 03-Nov-13 20:07:24

Fucks sake how many more pleathers must die in the name of <quotey fingers> entertainment <quotey fingers>

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:07:42

Isn't this the Iceland ad song? Will Kerry Katona and Colleen Nolan be out with a prawn ring in a minute.

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:07:43

*group

Thanks invisable dunno why it was bothering me so much!
this isn't a night to remember, poor Joan looks way out of her depth!

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:08:13

Joan always looks out of place. It really is her time to go.

MrsWolowitz Sun 03-Nov-13 20:08:15

Awh Joan looks a bit like Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.

I don't think I can be mean to her if I think of Amy.

Joan's dancing is really dire.

She's channelling zombie in thriller stiffness regardless what they're singing.

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 03-Nov-13 20:08:22

Hello
Have you ever been to a Harvester before?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:08:40

Well Arb it is Halloween....

COR but that was good. Backing track singers. Limited noise from Joan. ALL the pleather.
Arf @ Bag for Life. So yes.

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:09:30

She really did look awkward as fuck!.. Plus she didn't even have her microphone near her face.. *gasp... Maybe she's been told to mime!

HotDogSlaughter Sun 03-Nov-13 20:09:34

Oh dear Joan!

Who is Joan?

I like the dreadlocked one.

peppapigmustdie Sun 03-Nov-13 20:09:48

That was slightly less painful than usual, well the first 15 seconds anyway.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:09:55

I have no idea who Amy farrah Fowler is.

Should I know?

Yes. And at least Joan is keeping the xfactor Halloween spirit alive. Shame everyone else forgot about it.

HotDogSlaughter Sun 03-Nov-13 20:10:11

Tamera is so pwetty

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:10:37

Big Bang theory.. (Re: Amy)

Joan is Abi..

Are they damning with faint praise with this 'effortless' business?
Implying she is a lazy caaaah?

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:11:05

Did they retune Sam for this?

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:11:25

Ahh, I always mean to watch BBT

was worried you were going to say TOWIE

NoelOfLorst Sun 03-Nov-13 20:11:46

I am almost 39 and I have NEVER seen the Big Bang Theory

grin invisable prawn ring grin

Bazza is a cheeky fuck slagging ICBINB. Him, the man who had the brass neck to defend Cockoozer week after week <shudders>

Evening all. <doffs hat>

Sorry I missed last night, well I didn't miss much apparently. Joan murdering Gloria Gayner sounds fairly horrific.

So deadlock tonight, I like a bit of squirming.

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:01

I want everyone who is only 16 to go hmm can't bear to hear that one more time!

Having missed last night, I can't believe the stylists did that to Tamara hair. We're they trying to hide her face?

And poor Joan with lipstick on her teeth.

NoelOfLorst Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:28

Wee Jimmy's nose goes a Wee Bit Wonky on the high notes

I like BBT. I like knowing that whatever time of the day it is, it'll be on telly. Like Friends used to be.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:41

I did love Shazza's feedback for Joan - she managed to say a lot of things without actually saying anything positive. Very cleverly done.

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:56

I wonder what the Cockwomble is doing now.

Actually no. I don't really care. grin

Has Loose Screw done One Night Only? Tis only a matter of time.

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:26

Ewww Sue did you have to mention Cockoozer? I know a kid who says he's his idol!hmm How sad is that?

Raahh Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:47

Shazzais pissed proud of everyone hmm

MrsWolowitz Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:50

I heart BBT. Tis muchly funny.

The Lidl MUffins!
<please shoot them out of a cannon. please please please>

Nicknameinvalid Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:12

I don't actually like little mix... I don't get what all the fuss is about..

NoelOfLorst Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:21

I think what's pissing me off about this series is that I just don't HATE anyone enough.

At best, I'm like, meh

Dan used to have a British version of Sheldon from BBT as a flatmate while he was a student. Luckily DH is also odd and infuriating.

Chubfuddler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:56

Have they had any actual hits? I've never heard them before.

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 20:15:02

Didn't Shelly do One Night Only?