XFactor -Movie Week- THE RESULTS- It's the final frame...

(468 Posts)
dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 18:56:33

...but who for?

I think Joan is on shaky ground, and ICBINB was pretty rubbish. But will the Merkins be saved?

And I'm so exited about tonight, I don't even know who the guest acts are.

I agree that Joan is on very shaky ground.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 19:15:13

Still catching up on last night's, had to leave abruptly for DD-related matters.

But so far they're all rubbish. Agree about Joan.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 19:16:30

Marking place.

I'm going to actually watch it and have the iPad. The kids can feck off.

<stamps feet>

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 19:26:48

That's the spirit, Mary!

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 19:28:17

Is one of the guests Lady Gaga?

DrHolmes Sun 27-Oct-13 19:28:55

need the nickname list please.

I was out last night, were there any highlights? I think no

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 19:32:37



Shazza drank from a teacup.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 19:34:19


Hahaha good one!

Evenin' all

DelGhoul Sun 27-Oct-13 19:38:01

need to vent WHO IS VOTING FOR ABBEY FGS! I think the boys have improved a teeny tiny bit but still Hannah and Sam for me.

DelGhoul Sun 27-Oct-13 19:39:37

and why can't the judges get the names and ages right, especially the names fgs grrrr

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 19:46:10

The worst thing is I've had a drastic haircut and now look like a reserve Merkin sad

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 19:47:48

Well done Maryz.

Dh is returning home soon. He can tell me about his week after the results grin

Oh dear, SayCool. A reserve merkin...

I'm currently crocheting a hat, if that would help.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 19:50:06


I want Preggerz to go.

I am in so much pain so I have taken more meds than normal so could give Sharon and Nicole a run for their money tonight!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 19:52:17

Thanks Arb. At this point crochet x

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 19:53:28

Aargh. Also broken my thumb so can't type properly.

Crochet can only help at this point.

Iaminvisible - hopefully the meds will make tonight's show less painful than it usually is..... grin

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Oct-13 19:54:31

Joan must surely be out tonight. Loosescrew will be there till the end, she's very popular.
I hope Tamera stays 'cos though she's a cow she has the X factor.
Did you know wee Jimmy has a heart problem, it was in the Daily Star today.
He nearly died when he was a kid at a football match and is on medication.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 19:57:26

Don't slag off the children, LBE you'll get into trouble!

Evening all

Abi Alton Joan Lewis

Sam Bailey Loose Screw

Hannah Barrett - Sausage Droll or Greggsorcist

Sam Callahan Either I Can’t Believe it’s not Bieber (bit long, that) or Wrong Direction?

Tamera Foster Ta-MEH-rah

Luke Friend - Mowgli/Crood/Sideshow Bob/Swampy/KimberleyDoesn’tWash/Max Wall

Kingsland Road The Merkins

Nicholas McDonald Wee Jimmy Wanky or Pob or Wee Barra

Miss Dynamix Preggaz’n’Peng MissDirection

Rough Copy Duff Copy Woof Copy Bun Loving Criminals Snuff Copy Bail Bros Rough Criminals Refused Entry

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 19:58:47

Oh yes, I saw on t'other thread, getting into trouble, being too nasty to the kidz.....


There's always one.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 19:59:52

Right- here we go!


MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:00:07


SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:00:18

Oh no Raahh.


Blimes Saycool, poor thumb

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:01:55

I wantwine but iffy new drugs are making me sick, so I will have to make do with virtualwine and stick to mybrew

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:02:43

Harsh Raahh sad You can pretend its a Sharon cuppa at least....

Oh, the Wanted. Do any of us Want?
Thought not.

And Lady Blah-blah being so predictably unpredictable. Will she have a rocket on her head? A flamingo up her chuff? Who can tell? It's ART, innit? Kooky, kooky ART.

A broken thumb sounds dreadful, SayCool.

I'm not sure if you are ill/injured that watching X Factor is good for your health.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:03:48

Deffo a Sharon cuppa. brew

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:03:52

Signing in- I'll be cheery enough to post now I know that Robin Thick Twat isn't on it this week.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:03:56

She might have that Dairylea triangle thing on her head again.

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:04:34

Lady GaGa is just like David Bowie was. If David Bowie was a bit shit and a woman.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:04:40

I thought Shazza had fallen out with Gaga and she refused to take part? Or was that years ago?

It's been a long day...

I'd be willing to believe if it was art if she was doing truly 'arty' music. Frankly.

I once had to go to an academic art event involving whale song music. It was dire.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:05:24

Duff Copy are in dungarees. Will they add skirts?

Truedats, Honey. Lucky for us he is all things lovely instead.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:05:47

These Madame Tussaud's animatronics in the background are just bizarre . And scary.

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:05

Oh soz about the thumb Saycool thanks

<<hands raah a fancy schmancy cup and saucer>>

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:11

I read that she went to yoga in a pair of really, really, reaaaallllly high heels.

Why. Just why?

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:22

Oh goody.

Poor Joan looks very out of place there.

Ah, the group wail. My fave.
Will they say RUDE WORDS?
Yes. And it has never been less sexy.

I was mortified to discover DS2 (4) singing blurred lines to himself this morning. I have no idea where he's heard it (since we don't listen to music radio at home), but I was not impressed. I told him it was a 'naughty song' and that he shouldn't sing it.

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:39

This really is the worst year ever, right?

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:50

Jeez this is bad!

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:06:50


Singing about sex whilst panting at the camera wearing trousers made of bin-liners.

Put me off my curly wurly.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:07:02

I love the image of Lady Gaga with a flamingo up her chuff.

I have wine tonight, no thanks to fucking Tesco who never showed up last night.

This lot should all be shot. Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:07:05

Ah, the heartwarming Merkins- I am getting old to find them so wholesome and sweet.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:07:32

HOW much poo squatting??!!

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:07:44

This is quite menacing. Like The Walking Dead.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:08:15

I keep remembering Sharon's creepy comment to Wee Jimmy Wanky- "You look like a big boy", urgh. Totally pediafile.

Mumsyblouse Sun 27-Oct-13 20:08:15

Terrible singing, inappropriate song, just awful!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:08:37

Snort at curly wurly grin

Wy do the producers insist on persisting with this group sing. Surely they can't think it's ever any good.

I adore the Merkins. Small is watching tonight, next to me, and she likes 'em too.
She also likes Wee Jimmy and Joan (because she likes her glasses).
I'm busy explaining why we don't vote.

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:09:06

Please X Factor stylists STOP buying jumpsuits

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:09:19

This is horrific. It's like glee but even less talented.

One thing I've never understood. Dermot does a new bands trendy style Saturday afternoon thing on r2 - how does he sleep at night doing this shit?

Obviously the paycheck helps. But really.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:09:36

ICBINB was truly dire.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:10:05

I think Derm gets through it by sneaking sips from Shazza's cup.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:10:20

Sky -fowwwwwwlllll


LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:10:21

DS is watching this with me out of pity because I had a really crap weekend.

Dermie is a proper indie kid, I don't know how he resolves that, Chubb.
I like his radio show - it's the only place that still plays Pulp grin

A this point, I've decided that (much though I find them annoying), I'd be perfectly happy for the merkins to win. Mostly because it would be better than if any of the rest of them did. They might at least get a catchy winner's song.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:11:29

I listened to a different class while doing the ironing this morning. Was bliss.

I'm so glad I didn't watch this last night. The ten second clips are more than enough.

They're all tuneless.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:11:30

Blardy hell. Joan was dire last night.

I like to think that dermott is even more cynical than we are about this whole thing.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:11:53

Joan sounds even worse in the re-cap.

Bazza and his 'celebrate being sixteen' and not tried as an adult

Who did they do that to, the other year? Tried to make them 'young'? It involved bobbysox and skipping iirc.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:12:08

I think Derm is on this thread

WTF did Joan do to Moon River? shock

Thank god I didn't have to listen to the whole thing.

Oh, Chubb, how we have aged. Whilst doing the ironing

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:12:53

Sue, was it Diana Vickers?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:13:44

I know, I know. Disco 2000 was my song. My first ever boyfriend and I even shared a birthday

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:13:51

When Luke does that creepy 'thanks' thing with his hands, I just think Uriah Heap.

Was it, Line? (sorry for shit day btw). The Claw herself?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:14:07

I adore Dermie, whichever way he dresses. His radio show is the only thing I still listen to on R2.

It would be awesome if dermott was on this thread.

Honky vickers and her claw of doom was really quite something, wasn't she?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:14:33

Is he?

Dermot, how do you sleep at night? Apart from incredibly well on the goose down pillow this shot pays for obviously.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:14:50

Urinal Heap. That's a good nickname for him, spesh with the colour of his hair wash water.

yy Raah, like The Hat. Who the Fail think is shagging Sporty Spice. Ewwwwwwwww

Bof - surely you listen to Sir Terry too?

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:15:11

I detest the Wanted skanky dirty shag bags that they are

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:15:20

I was just thinking that Bof but I'm mid cycle so therefore my judgement can't be trusted grin

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:15:21

Is his mike switched off? Wise move.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:15:53

Was that the same piano Tamehra was standing on?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:04

I love the way that the judges have to pretend this lot are good now they're famous.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:11

Oh all this is to one purpose. It makes the wanted look good

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:12

who is this?

Tiredemma Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:12

If I don't get a glimpse of BoSelectaNan tonight I'm not watching again.

What's the point?

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:14

Who are these?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:28

Noel, don't hold back, say what you really think grin

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:16:52

were they past contestants?

I think the wanted are here to serve as a warning to the merkins: we could give you hair cuts and suits (not natty checked tweed ones with braces either).

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:17:25

No Lionel, don't think so

They're a shower of asbo-dodging gobshites, this bunch.
Not like the lovely perky Merkins.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:17:58

The best thing about the Wanted is the Twitter arguments they have with the Wandies.

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sun 27-Oct-13 20:18:00

These are no better than the contestants. Can we have these in the sing off please?

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:18:00

They know how shit they are.

In the back of their minds, each one of them, every time they shout "good evening we're the WANTED!"

A little voice says "no we're not"

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:18:04

I hate this song! "could have shown you America ,all the Bright lights of the universe" really grates me
They are making Kingsland road sound good!

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:18:08

He looks like malcolm in the Middle.

ROAR at the tuneless fan singing grin

GobTheGoblin Sun 27-Oct-13 20:18:35

OMG those eyebrows!

Yes, but they're like a threat from the producers. Do what we say, or we'll turn you into this. Evil cackle...

A world tour? Really?

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:04

"We couldn't resist not being here"

Err what

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:12

I think I wouldn't say no to the shaved one.

They shouldn't have them lining up like that.
It'll trigger a memory and someone will ring Crimestoppers.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:27

So, I'm a bit late.

Who were they?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:40

I'd have voted those buggers off. Shite.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:41

<stares at wine>

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:44

We laughed at that, Noel.

Oh how we laughed.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:53

Who are they though? Where did they come from?

Is it one of these who is married to Sophie Ellis bexter?

who I can actually remember being born because her mum had to do the walk of shame from blue peter

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:19:58

Noel-my brain is still trying to sort that one outgrin

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:01

They were pants.

That is all.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:05

Sue grin

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:09

Asbo-dodging gobshites grin

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:11

The UnWanted Maryz

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:16

Roar at sue

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:27

Oh, the Wanted.


havent' a clue

If you google 'the wanted' the second hit is a story about how the merkins say that the wanted are a massive inspiration to them. By which they really mean 'cautionary tale', but didnt want to appear impolite. I suspect the merkins are nice polite boys.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:21:04

Chub, I remember that too grin

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:21:55

ds looks like a Merkin.

Fortunately I told him so last week, and he's had some of it cut off.

He can sing better though thlgrin

peppapigmustdie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:22:04

sue I quite like LOVE the merkins.

The Merkins ARE naice boys, you can tell. I agree they must see The UnWanted as a Terrible Warning.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:22:11

ok are they the bad-boy boyband to rival the supposed clean cut one direction? bit like erm east 17 were all bad ass compared to take that.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:22:15

Union J, eh? Gah, the shite that 11 year old girls have to adore these days. Bring back Nik Kershaw.

Evening, missed last weekend and last night but have managed to sneak it on whilst DH is ironing.

I think he's secretly enjoying it.

And Sophie E-B is married to a Feeling, not a Wanting Wanted

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:23:40

One of the boys from Union J is going to be a dad. Apparently he is 25. I could've sworn they were all 12!

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:23:42

Bloody ads.

I'm watching online and I don't even recognise half of what they are advertising [baffled]

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:24:06

StillaNortherner - DH enjoying ironing or X Factor?

how do you get him to iron

AnyKormaFucker Sun 27-Oct-13 20:24:10

Roar @sue and crime stoppers

The wanted are a leet,e rough round the edges aren't they ?

Although wouldn't say no to a fumble up an alley with the bald one

Evening all x

C'mon then Flamingo Foof. Lets have yer

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:24:11

Tenner says she's wearing an ironing board

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:24:13

oooh here comes the gaga

90% of the boys walking to the high school round the corner from me every morning look merkin-like (at least in hair). Not DS1 though. He's hoping the Seattle grunge look will make a come back hmm.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:24:29

I like Sophie. And her mum. Naice ladies.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:05

Snort at Flamingo Foof

He's enjoying X factor. He's army so has to iron

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:07

I can't help loving gaga. Although she must be getting desperate to come on this.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:12

Murder On The Dancefloor was a cracking tune- maybe they'll have that on Tesco Week?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:27

Is she pissed?

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:29

Last time she did this, she did the performance in the bath, didn't she.

What is this godawful noise??

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:33

Fuck me. She's turned into an albino alanis morisette

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:34

Does this really go on until9.

Is Sophie the one from Strictly? I like her and have a bit of a crush on Brendan

AnyKormaFucker Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:38

Fuck inell gaga looks like a thin Miranda in a blonde wig

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:39

This is a bit like that scene in Forest Gump when he goes to see Jenny singing.

Only that scene didn't make my ears run off my head in horror.

Aha, going for the Tuneless Hippy in a Dove Advert shiz

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:52

oh. seashells. that's original. not.

ariel did it better.

now where's Ursula when you need her?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:00

What is to be said? This is surely a subliminal directive to commit suicide.

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:01

That's one batshit crazy lady

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:06

I've had it up to HERE <eyebrows> with naked woman on my telly every Sunday night FFS

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:07


I hate everything about her.

I don't care about the music, but the clothes, the hair, the whole image.


IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:08

I thought she was nude. I really need new glasses!

Finally, someone without shoes. There's not enough shoelessness of this years X factor.

Crap underwear with plastic shells stuck on? Has her budget been drastically cut?

My mistake - Gilette, not Dove

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:25

ffs, porn on itv at teatime.

Is it really necessary?

FrightRider Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:44

wtf? where's the remote so i can mute this bollocks.?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:51

Maryz Brendan is skanky

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:26:55

I thought she said Penis then. I could enjoy a song called Penis.

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:00

Nice, that's like the cross your heart bras my nana used to wear.

Jellykat Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:07

Ha ha haaaaa ha PMSL!!

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:16

I have no words.
Even dd (8) is laughing

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:21

Is that an intentional camel?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:22

Poor DH. He has no idea what's going on. neither do I

Is she singing penis? Or wenus?

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:32

They all need a major bra intervention, don't they?

How has she managed to get such nice looking girls to look so unattractive?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:38

DH has just walked in and stood open mouthed for a minute, then asked 'Is this what passes for fucking entertainment these days?'

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:43

So, first Thicke, now Gaga.

Brilliant. hmm

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:44

What the actual fuck?

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:50

Oh good grief.

Get up woman. You're embarrassing yourself.

Definitely penis.
Take me to your penis.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:27:56

Just go to aerobics, love, we don't need to see it.

She is so meh, I don't get it at all.

Cor, at least her others were catchy.

Ooo, look. Modern interpretative dance. That's always a winner.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:19

I am actually sat here with my mouth wide open!

There are no words!

Honestly, if you want people to take you seriously as 'art' don't make really quite generic pop music and go on xfactor. This is absolute shite.

FlabbyAdams Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:27

I sense she is actually taking the piss out of us all!!

FrightRider Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:30

god, it gets worse. what the hell is she doing?

SoleSorceress Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:31

Who she?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:39

Did the floor manager even see a rehearsal of this?

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:41

I was rocking that 'do in 1990

DH saying he doesn't understand why she has to go around in bra and knickers all the time. Yup me neither

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:28:54

Chub, my skank radar seems to have switched off. I find myself fancying him, but that might be because I've finally realised I'm too old to imagine myself with any of the Russian lot

She must be very, very drunk, the poor lamb. She's going to feel so silly tomorrow when she remembers all this.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:15

Just waiting for Miley Cyrus to turn Jo now....

SoleSorceress Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:20

BOF lmao

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:20

Fuck me

It looks like her stylist did a dash in the old ladies section of M&S lingerie.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:34

Turn up

Fucking thumb

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:36

I definitely heard penis too.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:39

She reminds me of a drunken turn in the Legion on a Saturday night

mignonnette Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:51

Has that strange lady had her clothes blown off in the storm?

FrightRider Sun 27-Oct-13 20:29:56

awesome? what was he watching?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:03

She's drunk. Definitely.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:08

So can I just check, I'm ok to go out in my Spanx tomorrow yes?

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:08

Do what you want with my body?

This really isn't ok

Jesus she was taking the piss surely

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:23


HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:25

Well done Dermott totally up phased by the mad woman in her grans pants

Ah. There's the problem. They let her produce this shit by herself.

Oh, it's the first song she produced by herself

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:37


Jellykat Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:42

Do you want with my body? Yep like shoot it ?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:52

That's cos he's wearing something quite similar

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:57

What's diverse about being naked every time she sings?

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:01

DH says "do what you want with your body" yes, cover it up!!

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:08

Why is Dermie holding a mic to her face when she's wearing one?

She should have no mics let alone 2!

neiljames77 Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:20

Is she doing this to prove she isn't half and half?

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:24

My internet gave up

They've made up then?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:24

She's going for a little sip from Sharon's teacup

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:34

Jesus, have you all seen the words?

Bloody hell.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:37

Sharon's whispering in her ear


FrightRider Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:43

thank fuck thats over!

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:31:44

My internet gave up

They've made up then?

SoleSorceress Sun 27-Oct-13 20:32:06

Camel toe ewww

Diversity as a writer?

She's like a fan fiction writer whose ego has run off with them and they've forgotten that they're actually writing Harry/Draco slash not booker prize list material.

She's more like Klitty than we ever knew grin

Who will be in the sing off then?

Preggaz n Peng and...

I'm going for Joan.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:32:15

I'm about a minute behind I reckon.

She is pissed.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:32:23


mignonnette Sun 27-Oct-13 20:32:28

Jeez Camel Toe alert.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:13

That is just plain M&S underwear, done by dodgy bra fitters isn't it?

Very odd.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:25

I wonder if there'll be an advert for holidays in the middle east, with caravans of camels? They do like to tie-in the advertising.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:44

Ooh starship. That's better.

hollyisalovelyname Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:45

What a role model for young girls (and boys).....'Do what you want with my body' as she writhes around on stage. Shouldn't be on til after the watershed. Is it a family show or not?
Same thing every year. Court controversy- more viewers. Just don't want dc watching this c**p

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:59

Arb grin

Although, maybe gaga is trying to give Joan some hope by being even worse than she was last night.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:34:27

Evening, I'm always late

How was it? How was gaga?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:34:28

Ah no- just a scruffy dog. Hey ho.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:34:33

Wtf ? The gaga ad with the dog???

How did the flower bikini from this advert get translated into nude granny pants for xfactor?

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:35:44

I'm not happy with that shite song being associated with dogs. Dogs are cool.

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:35:51

I need to feel ashamed for watching this.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Oct-13 20:36:13

I bet that dog doesn't really like Lady GaGa.

I'd like an actual good night's sleep in a jar.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:36:46

Fuckit, my internet has gone again.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:36:48

I think she's gearing up for a Robin Thick link-up: Do What You Want With My Penis.

Joan and Preggaz sez I
And they'll save Preggaz.

Did Joan sew her own dress for tonight? It looks like she did.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:37:41

Bof, shouldn't that be 'Do What You Want - I'm a Penis' ?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:37:49

Did LooseScrew come straight from a job interview?

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:37:54

grin BOF

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:04

i like dogs too, especially bbq'd

ITV1 is broken according to the interweb

Oh, he don't want to open up that can o'worms, Bof
My 'wants' include cheese graters.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:07

Joan, I reckon

Why is it that Sam Callahan is the only that has a surname?

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:20

Does anyone else get the feeling that Gaga refused to wear her 'proper' costume, in the ad she, at least ,was wearing a nice mermaid bikini!

Nah. Joan and preggaz. Deadlock so it's preggaz that go by default.

Then they get rid of the maternity problem...

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:24

they'll save joan and send off preggaz.

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:32


Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:51

I still fancy Gary though. Can't help it.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:04


Oh that's what I mean <too thick to type>
They can't wait to get rid of Preggaz

There are two sam's northerner. S they both have surnames.

Joan? Really?


MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:13

Well well well.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:13

Ooh, I thought she was a goner!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:19

Well, that's me wrong. Bieber, then?

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:23

Bloody hell.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:24

Shame on you Chub.

me too

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:28

Is someone pregnant?

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:34

You've got to be kidding.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:37

No fucking way

You're shittin' Joan's safe. Bugger me!

Wha'? Actual humans are voting for Joan? Ones with eyes and ears and everything?

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:42

They can't save preggaz.

Surely the baby is due before the final?

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:46

they're all shitting it now because they all thought it would be abbey

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:57

Will it be the Merkins again then?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:58

I want Purdy Boy to go.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:06

SausageDroll I reckon

TheDetective Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:31

What was that Louis/Nicholas were saying??

Thanks Arb. I realised almost as soon as I posted. Doh me.

Hurry up Dermot, I fancy a gin.

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:54

I'm glad Pob made it through.

Bless his wee socks.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:55

Ok, what's up.

Internet still broken.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:02

I love Tamehra's Katharine Hepburn pants. I wonder if she nicked them from River Island?

I think Sausage, must be
Surely not the Merkins <weeps>

It doesn't matter anyway, because preggaz are going. They will have been desperate to get rid since she told the she was up the duff.

Happy merkins.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:40

Not the merkins then.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:44

Shitsinger's hair looks like Chewbacca tonight
Yay the Merks!

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:45

The Merkins are through, yay.

Purdy boy's denim shirt is a travesty

CPtart Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:52

Sam, you're in the sing off matey......


They looked hot in every sense, Bof.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:58

I actually got really surprised when he said 'Kingsland Road' there. I was waiting tu hear 'Merkins'

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:15

Do you think Gary says "get in!" in bed?

Fuck! No way.

CPtart Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:17


BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:21


YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:29

Sausage must be safe against Preggaz

ICBINB through to wail another day
Byeeeee to Preggaz-n-Peng

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:44

preggaz are gone then aren't they

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:52

Wow I never saw Sausage being in the bottom 2.

Preggerz is going then.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:55

ICBINB was terrible. Poor Sausage.

But- they will have to get rid preggaz.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:57

Chub - uuuurrrghhh!

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:42:57


Lorelilee Sun 27-Oct-13 20:43:01

No point in Preggaz singing, none at all.

Shitsinger is wondering if she had to make that trip to greggs with Hannah after all... She could have put it off for a week and never had to go.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:43:19

Who's Pob?? As in the kids C4 programme that I loved???

I've got a thing for Gary but that "get in" would make me reconsider.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 20:43:57

fucking kevin bacon again. he's starting ti scare me.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:05

Love how Kevin Bacon has his Halloween costume on.

Oh, wait...

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:11

Are you all on ads now?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:12

I thought you meant the Merkins, not the pants for a minute there, Sue shock.

Alas, they're going to make us listen to them sing again anyway.

Pointless sing off coming up?

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:31

Yeah Wee Jimmy/Pob.

Bless him.

That lotto advert may be the thing that pushes me over into insanity.
I'm giving ye fair warning.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:57

Kevin Bacon still being dessicated I see

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:59

I'm going to see Gary who DH thought was in Wham. I shall be sat 3 rows back from the stage.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:45:31

God, I have to dive for the mute button whenever this fucking comes on.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:46:01

Now That's What I Call Disney Princess?

No words

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:46:05


Enjoy, Iam

NO! They're not for the sexytimes, the Merkins. Bless 'em.
I imagine them with plastic moulded parts, like Action Man. No filth.

I hate that lotto advert too. In fact, I hate myself a little for actually having typed lotto here. I refuse to call it as such in general.

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:46:29

Yep, loads of ads, MaryZ.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:46:30


What's happened.

I'm lost. But have found a Kingsmill ad. Is that right?

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:46:47

I shall Raahh!

Pam Ayres?
Off you fuck, there's a duck.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:03

MrsW I feel slightly offended on Pobs behalf

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:04

Oh shit I forgot, we have to listen to them sing now don't we

Haha, sue. Definitely no filth!

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:22

I ADORE THIS MAN- watch it when this is finished, I implore you.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:34

Thanks Liney

Now it's frozen too hmm

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:40

Kevin Bacon is turning into a skull.
Scarily I now find him attractive!?

Ah Mary, it's sausage v preggaz in the pointless sing off. Preggaz are singing second.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:47

Ear plugs ready everyone

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:50

I don't think Kingsmill is right. Not wildly inappropriate enough.

Which judge frequents Greggs the most:
1 Gary during his pie phase
2 Sharon to get orange Halloween cakes for man-child Ozzy
3 Louis but he doesn't know what they sell because he's a muppet
4 Nicole to pretend she's one of us.

PartyFops Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:57

It seems Purdy Boy is too up himself already based on his reaction!

And I'm thinking that the same people are voting for Joan that voted for the girl who won the Voice. V similar and a bit of a cruel piss take.

Oh good, some Sande
Poor Sausage sounds like she's reading it off the back of a cereal packet

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Oct-13 20:48:43

Oh, I love this song.

I think it's really unfair that sausage is singing now when Joan was so utterly dire last night. And the week before too.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:48:44

Shitsinger is Menkle isn't she?

Was this her song last night? It's not from a film is it?

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:07

A nice bit of Save Me-Sande, after Adele got her landed in the sing-off.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:09

Emelie Sande was long overdue...

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:19

I have to say, I genuinely can sing better than this.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:19

Is that a save me song, or the same one as yesterday?

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:27

She wants to sing till the birds dry out?

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:29

Oh she sounds defeated sad

directoroflegacy Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:54

Poor sausage sounds as if she's given up.

Bleeeee at the loose-fit pleather on Sausage
Somehow worse than the tight fitting stuff

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:59

Thanks Arbitrary.

I can't work out whether stopping and freezing and then going again is making this better or worse grin

FrightRider Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:59

Hannah should not be in the sing off.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:06

Oh do fuck off

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:10

Don't blub just sing!

Ooo tears, good move sausage.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:24

I don't think crying will work.

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:25

Oh give over with the tears!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:25


dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:25

aww, don't cry.sad

Preggaz have surely got to go?

Bloody hell, you don't even have to sing a whole song before you blub...

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:31

She's fallen apart.

Poor kid.

Pore ol Sossidge.
Still, she'll be reet. Preggaz are off.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:50:50

Oh bless - she must know she's better than what's coming next

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:13

Oi, you lot of bjullying bjitches.

To be fair, she isn't the worst - it must be a shock.

Snargaluff Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:13

Practised this all night did they?

Even with the crying Hannah was better than these

What tune is she singing?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:22

Poo crouch. Must be the piles.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:24

It is so unusual to see Sausage cry...

eeeek- awful start

shouty mcshout

Which one is PG?

claretandamberforever Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:32

This lot have to up the ante. We want Braxton Hicks contractions at the very least, if not broken waters.

Where exactly is her bump though. I thought she had 2 kids already and was 6 months gone.

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:35

Totally out of tempo with the backing who is gamely trying to adjust

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:43

Oh this song reminds me of Bodypump as well confused

Why are they doing Bodypump Save Me songs every week?? There's some deal going on here, mark my words

Awww poor Hannah sad

Not really fair that she only had 2 minutes to sort emotions and they've had overnight sad

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:08

What is it with this modern singing through their noses/through a closed throat.

What's wrong with just singing. In tune?

claretandamberforever Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:35

That's the spirit. The blonde one sounds like she's singing through contractions.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:36

No harmonies, every girl for herself? That'll help them look like a cohesive group then...

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:48

Oh FFS - shoot me now sad

Is this a song? With melody and all?
Oooo, backing track singers. CHEATING. ORF.

MrsWolowitz Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:57

This is not good.

The curly one has nice hair though.

She shouldn't sing though. My ears don't appreciate it!

Preggaz is the one who sings like she's already in labour.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:03

Is there a backing track for this?

MaryZ: I think you've hit on the question that defines this whole programme. What exactly is wrong with just singing in tune?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:43

The blonde one is aiming for a solo career yes?

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:43

Actually, I've just realised I have two windows open, playing a couple of seconds out of sync.

It's really adding to it grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:45

Can they all be sent home? Then we could watch footage of kittens and otters for three hours every weekend til Christmas.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:50

That really is a dreadful outfit on Sausage there.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:53:55

shitty lies

FlabbyAdams Sun 27-Oct-13 20:54:00

hannah!!! She cannot go home!

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:54:02

thlgrin arbitrary

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:54:21

Gary lies

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 20:54:24

That group hug just involved a lot of eye poking then to get some genuine tears

They were all hoping/aiming for solo careers.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:54:43

HoneyDragon grin

They've gone for the tricky double-dip eyebrow with Sausage
Surely to goodness it'll be Preggaz going home

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:07

If you think that Gary, have the guts to pick her hmm

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:44

The best sing off Shazzy ??????

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:49

Why didn't Louis vote?

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:50

Hannah was appalling.

I didn't understand that euro election style voting system

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:51

Right stop the crying now.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:54

Oh, I'm gutted <lies>

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:56

I don't understand the voting confused

IamInvisible Sun 27-Oct-13 20:55:59

Eh how does that work then? What about Louis' vote?

Louis RILLY took agin Preggaz, didn't he?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:56:29

Did I miss something there?

Well Gary could lie and choose preggaz because he knows no one else would.

Those three will never speak again.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:20


dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:25

Because Preggaz were the original bottom act, they only needed 2 votes against them to be booted off. Or something. In the absence of deadlock.

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:31

I'd encourage you to stick to the 'clicking'. Like Flipper

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:34

Badgers - definitely. They'll leave tonight and never speak again.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:48


She is SO going to do a Rosemary's Baby...

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 20:57:59

Littlemix. Didn't they win and sink without a trace?

Louis' vote was unnecessary because the best he could produce was a draw, and that meant preggaz were going home.

The whole 'no deadlock' think is just bollocks really. It's just they let us know the bottom act in advance.

Casmama Sun 27-Oct-13 20:58:10

At best they would have had two votes each and as miss dynamix lost the flash vote they would automatically go home.

claretandamberforever Sun 27-Oct-13 20:58:15

Taylor Swift next week. Is she singing her new song "actually, it might be me..."

TheDetective Sun 27-Oct-13 20:58:26

I think the voting thing changed in that whoever was the bottom in the public vote would get booted off in the event of a tie.

So because 2 judges voted Miss Dynamix off, it would have been them going no matter what Louis voted.


Don't quote me!

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 20:58:32

God that was dire

Same time next week?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 27-Oct-13 20:59:39

See you all next week for another dose of utter bilge

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 27-Oct-13 20:59:57

Well it's been real y'all!

<channels Shitty>

Till next week.

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 20:59:57



'What was that, Skippy?'

I have just realised I might actually miss next week's live, as my sister is having a hallowe'en/bonfire party. I am verysad


They had little mix in the audience last night. Dermot talked to them and I didn't know who they were until he said (and some nonsense about success in the US).

The real advice to this lot is: go home and get a job.

BOF Sun 27-Oct-13 21:00:10

We do keep doing it to ourselves, Noel. See you then!

Chubfuddler Sun 27-Oct-13 21:01:10

Over to downton thread

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 21:01:18

Night all. Thanks for the thread.

That was, erm, interesting.

TotallyAddictedToLurking Sun 27-Oct-13 21:01:27

I love that we all love to hate XFactor.

See you all next week grin

NoelOfLorst Sun 27-Oct-13 21:01:50


Night all

I will miss next week's live show because we're going to a local fireworks display and such like. The PILs are visiting too, and may not appreciate xfactor. (Although FIL would be at least as rude about all the contestants as us).

dRaahhcula Sun 27-Oct-13 21:02:13

Nighty night

SeaSideRendezvous Sun 27-Oct-13 21:02:45

Quick namechange so I don't completely out myself, but a family member works with Little Mix and has been to Japan, Australia, America and other places with them.

Family member's job is a lot more glamorous than mine.

I'll be here next week. Halloween usually ACE for comedy value.

The guardian live blog says it's disco week next week. Disco week is always shite.

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 22:05:28


DISCO shock

D.I.S.C.O hmm


<anticipates with glee>

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 22:10:23

<<backs slowly and carefully away from Maryz>>

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 22:12:37


<waves to Honey>

Stu heritage in the guardian has reminded everyone reading his live blog about how unbelievably awful ICBINB will be at disco week.

Actually, he produced a lovely description of ICBINB that I will quote: 'Sam Callahan is pretty much what I'd expect Justin Bieber to be like if he had his genitals sanded off in an industrial accident'.

thistlelicker Mon 28-Oct-13 07:20:19

I fell asleep and missed the whole lot.... It appears I missed nothing ;-)

thistlelicker Mon 28-Oct-13 09:04:10

Oh my Days!! Just watched it .... Hannah looks like she can't open her eyes !!! :-/ and they killed the Swedish house mafia !!!!shock

Ohhhhh, DISCO week will be gooooood
Joan <snorts> ICBINB <double snorts>
And wtf will Grubster Luke do with disco? Actually, wtf wil ANY of them do with disco? Lawks <cackles>

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 09:44:26

ScrewLoose will probably do 'Young hearts run free' or something equally obvious.

I want the Merkins to do D.I.S.C.O by Ottawan. But I bet they don't sad
Or Y.M.C.A.

Just acronyms in general. Easy to learn. grin

MaryZombie Mon 28-Oct-13 09:47:57

Louis will find some ballad, probably irish, with a very spurious disco link for Luke.

He will go ott a la Jedward for the others. He loves bling.

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 09:52:55

Disco week is going to be a shocker for most of them, really.

I mean- Joan?? What will they do with her? Much kinder to have let her go this weekgrin

Is there an instrumental on the Saturday Night fever soundtrack?- she could do that, on the piano. Or her guitar.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 28-Oct-13 09:56:56

Maybe Joan will shock us and come out with Scatman or summat.....

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Mon 28-Oct-13 10:02:13

Luke will play acoustic and sing a slowed down version of some disco song. Louis will say he 'made it your own'

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 10:03:34

Lionel- I hope he is in the boat again. I liked the boatgrin

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 10:04:49

Maybe Joan will do a Wonder Woman- fling off her specs, shake out her hair and belt out 'I will survive'

ain't gonna happen grin

thistlelicker Mon 28-Oct-13 10:06:37

I see Joan dancing to night fever ;-)

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Mon 28-Oct-13 10:16:09


Joan/Abi - Feels like im in love by Kelly Marie.

Duff Copy - Don't stop till you get enough by Michael Jackson.

Merkins - Ain't no stopping us now by erm <googles> McFadden and Whitehead.

That's it so far I'll go away and have another think.


One producer GUTTED that Preggaz can't do 'We are family' and trying to shoe-horn it into the group mime instead

Loose Screw - I will survive. Or I'm every woman. Or Ring my Bell. You get the idea.

Joan - Young hearts run free. Betcha a pound

The Merkins - I'm feeling a mash-up in me waters. Will Bazza give up and give them a Village People medley? I do hope so.

Wee Jimmy - Jackson Five, natch

Tamehra - Lady Marmalade or whichever Chaka Khan track Shitsinger managers to wrestle off Shazza. Ditto for Sausage.

ChilledGhost Mon 28-Oct-13 12:48:35

ScrewBo will be slagged off by the judges as not being diverse enough.

Abi is toast.

love the nickname Sausage btw grin

NoelOfLorst Mon 28-Oct-13 13:26:15




YY Joan is so doing the JL version of Young Hearts isn't she?

Duff Copy will get Earth,Wind and Fire I bet....hmmm.....

NoelOfLorst Mon 28-Oct-13 13:26:53

Oh god let there be Boney M


dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 14:34:30

I promise to vote for whoever does 'Rasputin'grin


MaryZombie Mon 28-Oct-13 14:40:40

Boney M and Village People.

It might actually be good grin

MaryZombie Mon 28-Oct-13 14:41:00

Where and when does Raah get the list of songs?

Disco Joan is going to be horrible. What if they make her dance?

Louis will give Luke 'nine in the afternoon' by panic! At the disco, purely because the band has disco in their name. Or 'mad as rabbits' by the same band (dressed in bunny ears in a telebubbies landscape). Or something equally vicarious.

I suspect the merkins love a bit of disco.

In recent times they've stretched a point with Disco to include 'anything vaguely up-tempo'. I suspect they just stick a pin in a copy of Now! That's what I call Disco Classics, myself.
Joan may yet get 'Murder on the dancefloor' as hers, it offers scope for Fey Pixie pronunciation and is a little bit hipster.

LineRunner Mon 28-Oct-13 15:27:08

I think she'll do Groovejet.

Will anybody ever do an Erasure song on the X Factor? Or would involve too many actual notes?

Joan Lewis does murder on the dance floor could be a real possibility.

Now that I've suggested it, I think stinky Luke doing 'I write sins not tragedies' by panic! At the disco would be brilliant. It will never happen because singing about a bride being a whore is something even xfactor won't stoop to. Well, unless an actual celebrity wants to do it. Then they'd probably say 'yes'.

LineRunner: the could put Luke back in the boat and give him ship of fools to tackle.

I've never seen them do Erasure, tis true. Rhydian did Pet shop boys (BRILLIANTLY, remember the vaguely Hitler Youth version of Go West?). There are dozens of bands that are just never done, I assume cos they tell SyCo to piss orf.
Fgs, they've done 'build me up, buttercup' for about three years running, but never done a decent Elvis or Stones or even any Blur/Oasis - have they? Prolly a blessing though <shudders at memories of Beatles Week>

I think they have bulk bought the rights to some songs and are determined to use them, no matter what. We've got several more dreadful versions of snow patrol's run to endure before that one runs out, for example. They probably got build me up, buttercup in a buy 2 get 1 free deal.

If Joan doesn't die a death on disco week, we'll be getting her doing running up that hill in a couple of weeks. Mark my words.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Mon 28-Oct-13 16:06:24

Arbitrary, I had to remind myself which one that song is, so I youtubed it. They bleep out 'god damn' but leave 'whore' to be heard grin

Oh yes, we so will
And a couple of gaga numbers thrown in for Tamehra/SAusage

Someone will do The First Time Ever - they're ALWAYS done.

It probably says a lot about me that the 'god damn' bit didn't register on my 'might upset people' radar. But calling someone a whore did. grin

handcream Mon 28-Oct-13 16:32:06

Really think the right group went. I dont think a young girl 6 months pregnant should be trying to win the X factor.

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 17:23:27

Mary-the TellyMix site usually has the song choices on a Saturday morning- sometimes Friday.

Love some of the suggestions on here-especially the tenuous 'Panic at the Disco' connection- because tenuous is the name of the theme game on XFactor grin

Raah, will you do us a naice new thread before you go out?

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 17:27:37

I will- probably at 10am, because I am sad like that. grin

I don't want to go out<humbug> and the dress Iwas supposed to be wearing as a witches costumes (because, horrors, it's fancy dress) doesn't fit. Which is not really that surprising since it is 20 years and 3 dcs since i wore it last.

Maybe I can stay at homethlgrin

MaryZombie Mon 28-Oct-13 17:37:23

What time will you be home Raah?

Maybe we should all record it, wait and synchronise our watching so we could all start at about 9.30 and whizz through it in an hour? With no ads.

dRaahhcula Mon 28-Oct-13 17:42:55


I'm actually hoping to be back quite early like, before x factor starts as we are going early with the dcs. DD2 really should be in bed by 7.45, after all.wink

Davros Mon 28-Oct-13 17:43:30

How about You Make Me a Feel Mighty Real by Sylvester? That was a classic but not a lot to it so plenty of dancing required, heh heh. I don't consider Village People or Boney M ( much as I love BM) to be disco. Believe me, I was there! Ooh, how about Play That a Funky Music White Boy although more funk than disco IMO. Low Rider! Jaws! A bit of Sweetest Hangover, some Donna Summer?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 28-Oct-13 18:15:27

They might get Joan doing her Joaned-down special version of I'm So Excited (On Opposite Day). Complete with zombie dancers (well it is Halloween).

They will go crazy with Hannah and pleather her up for her version of 'Cry For You'.

Davros Mon 28-Oct-13 18:18:02

Oh yes, surely it's Halloween week or have they milked that dry?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 29-Oct-13 12:16:24

Haha, Best XF review ever

I swear the writer has been reading our thread.....

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