The Voice-(isn't on this week) so let's talk Eurovision!

(941 Posts)
euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:02:54

Ok, so a thread for those who usually watch bitch at the Voice, but don't want to gate crash the official thread with our inane drivel.

Or something. grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:04:12

Oh ok.^ Another^ Eurovision thread hmm

Heh grin evening all

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:04:40

Format fail. <LOSER>

Aaaaalrighty then! I am up for a nice constructively critical ok ok bitch session...

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:08:07

Hello!

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:08:14

I'm watching doctor who. Unsurprisingly I have no clue what is going on and the pretty floppy haired bloke hasn't even made an appearance yet.

I'm in, I'm placing my bet that Bonnie comes in second to last. grin

Hurrah! That's good, as I'm all flounced and shit I can't possibly go to Chat grin
Now, other than Bonnie 'botox' T, who are we backing?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:09:26

<worries>

I hope the one's on the other thread don't mind. But it doesn't feel right jumping in now, really. I only posted a bit on the semi's thread.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:11:28

i have to record Doctor Who and watch it with Dh tomorrow.

I am off the booze. I am wondering if I should have made an exception for tonight. And the dcs are refusing to co-operate. It's much easier to deal with, with wine

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:12:38

It's very emotional but still no clue.

They'll be only delighted not to have to listen to us bitching in a superficial and non-supportive manner.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:14:40

I like his companion.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:15:05

I haven't enjoyed this series of DW much. And I really wanted to like it.

Right- time to show DD2 who is really in charge
(i maybe a while)

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:15:12

Ooh won't say anything substantive about the plot I don't understand if you're going to watch another time.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:15:39

I may need to dash to corner shop for more wine...

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 19:20:51

I am sneaking in from Dr Who.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:22:21

Ah see I loved Doctor Who, and I really wanted to love Matt Smith but it just didn't work out.

I don't ask for much from my tv heroes, but I do like at least a pair of eyebrows <fussy>

I don't Do Dr Who. I like Sherlock though <irrelevant>

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:26:49

This is like an acid trip.

Or fanfic.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:27:08

Is this the official Eurovision thread?
SOON. IT BEGINS. <ominous voice>

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:27:42

This is the fun one unofficial one.

I don't think we're official. We're the official Voice thread grin
Very much the Unofficial Eurovision thread, I fear. Bootleg. Cheap copy from the market thread.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:30:38

In 30 mins! Omg. Who do you think will win? Honestly I have no idea this time.

I'm in.

I don't think Bonnie will come second from last I think she'll be in the top fifteen, am predicting 13th. I actually like her song! shock

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:32:45

It doesn't matter how good the British entry is, it's completely hopeless for us.

There is some verry interestin' fanfic about Sherlock and Watson. I was shock.

I have led a very innocent life lies

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:33:58

I haven't even heard Bonnie Botoxs song.
I don't know what I'm even doing here I don't watch Eurovision confused

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:34:52

Yes you do scone. But Sherlock isn't in Eurovision is he?

I had never watched the Voice until I found this thread. You are doomed coco grin

All fanfic is batshit, same as all fanart looks like it was done by a chimp with a grudge.

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:35:17

Tell us Scone, I love Shitlock.

Sue started it!

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:36:00

Shitlock!?! grin

Now you come to mention it coco I have a feeling that may have been something of a leitmotif in the genre.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:37:36

I would only call that fanfic interesting if they were heterosexual.

Do you mean about Shorelick on drugs? Common knowledge innit?

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:38:02

shock

I like Cummerbund's voice in Sherlock,that is all.

I think if y'all are expecting this thread to stay on focus, we may be in for a rough ride grin

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:38:20

My internet went off!
<looks around>
is it an omen?

I liked-from the bits of the semi's that went through-
Moldova (she had mad hair, and a volcanic dress)
and one where the singer was carried on by a giant. Sadly, the giant didn't sing. I don't actually remember the song- it may have been shoite.

There was a very enthusiastic pair from latvia iirc, who were a bit Jedwardgrin

Malta got through the semi's this year, so we might get some points (but tbh, it's a dire song). Sorry, Bonnie. You can be in Stoma's team next year.

Right, I am off to shepherd the dc off to bed.

I'll be back. unlike last fucking week

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:39:02

There's a car alarm going off loudly outside my house.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:39:54

oh, bugger- RTFT Raahh(missed the Sherlock ramblingsgrin)

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:40:23

I too wanted the giant to sing. It'd be nice duet. I don't remember most songs - most memorable was Romania with the high pitched opera singing.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 19:40:26

I read some Top Gear slash fic the other day. I still haven't recovered.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:42:09

Fanfic is bloody awful on the whole. Keep it in your heads people, where it can hurt no one.

wtf is slash fic? Stabby? Someone stabbing Top Gear men? I would like that.

Graham Norton was on the wireless making noises about Tall Man being oppressed. The wearing of feathers was mentioned.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:42:23

See, I am currently obsessed by Game of Thrones, so in an ideal world, the Giant would have chanted 'Hodor' - and it would have got my votegrin

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:42:51

I read a really weird fanfic once. It was about some men not having sex.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:43:17

What the actual fuck?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:43:27

Am delighted to see this thread is making no sense whatsoever. grin

Which bit is troubling you, Chubb?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:44:29

That was my response to the final 30 seconds of doctor who btw.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:44:37

I once stumbled across <ahem> some dubious porno fanfic about the brothers from Hanson. Mmm Bop, and Mmm Blerk

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 19:45:32

Slash fic is fan fic with improbable homosexual couplings between characters who are not homosexual as far as I can tell.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:46:11

I'm here, I'm here!

I totally love Eurovision and cannot wait for kick off at 8pm!

Stumbled across, Noel? That was your official plea, was it? Like the time you tripped and fell on that large carrot?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:46:50

Harry Potter has tons of slash fic with Snape and Harry <brain bleach>

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 19:48:18

Some is so fucking disturbing it cannot be healthy to write such stuff.

Is Snape Alan Rickman? I'd hop on him before a broomstick, fo'sho' <does Will-je-suis>

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:49:05

Stumbled yes Sue. Accidents happen. I didn't see the Queen Anne chair leg on that deck chair ok?

Stumbled <nods> M'lud.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:51:03

Snape is AR yus

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:51:55

9 minutes

Well I'm watching toy soldiers right now. Am home alone. DCs are with their dad, dp's at work.

I am sane right? Think I should be drunk watching this it's bonkers grin

BOF Sat 18-May-13 19:52:56

You'll enjoy this, Sue. You all will.

grin

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:53:11

Clara is Dr Who is v pretty.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 19:53:32

Just while we wait. It'll be fun, I promise.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 19:53:54

I am so glad I no longer just click on links willy-nilly.

Bof- that is just wrong in a fountain of wrongness

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:54:26

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why BOF WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 19:54:57

<supplies brain bleach and loofah>

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:55:09

grin BoF

I like Clara too. I never liked whathername...I did like Rory,though.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:55:58

'How to be a perv on a budget'

pmslgrin

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 19:57:16

BOF. How could you? <vomits>

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:58:09

And that bombshell.... grin

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 19:58:30

gah missed a rogue on

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 19:58:49

Jonty_211.

Benji

Hammondfan.

You sick sick puppies.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 19:58:56

Right.

I just turned over and saw Status Quo on the lottery programme. Would we win if they were our Eurovision entry?

Actually, some bloke from Black Sabbath wrote the Armenian entry, apparently.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:59:03

omg 2 mins

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 19:59:24

My mind is befuddled. I tuned in to catch Eurovision, to be meat with - what?

A bulla bulla Quo. A bulla bulla Quo. Was that really what they were singing?

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 19:59:26

1 min

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:00:03

Ferrari_Fan could be that beige bloke from the Post Office. Seriously, these people are walking amongst us

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:00:26

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Here we go!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:00:32

I was not meated with that, no.

Glad to see you've shared the TopGear Fanfic love, BOF. Nice work.

Pray tell, jupiter what was that about Shorelick on drugs?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:00:36

I fancy the young Francis Rossi blush

dementedma Sat 18-May-13 20:00:38

Takes place - hands round sweets

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 20:00:46

WTF was Dr Who about!?!?!

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:01:00

Here we GOOOOOOOO!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:01:11

Oh, and btw - thanks for Fred, euRaahh and SuePB. The official one scared me.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:01:25

Random caterpillar shot...

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:01:27

I have water and decaf coffee.

Bloody hate dietsangry

Allthingspretty Sat 18-May-13 20:01:37

As the starter of the official thread can i just say there ia plenty of fun and everyo
ne is welcome.
<strares at chub>

cocolepew Sat 18-May-13 20:02:06

Enjoy yourselves ladies, I'm off to watch American sitcoms.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:02:35

Hazel- you're welcome, but i'm still waiting for someone to come on and complain...

Is it a very hungry caterpillar?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:02:54

Yes, Noel, you SHOULD be blushing at that admission.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:03:15

Isn't Malmo a chest of drawers in Ikea?

dementedma Sat 18-May-13 20:03:27

Ooh pretty butterfly

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:03:59

BoF- I'm actually tempted to google that...

I am dieting too. I think I will be very sad and unfunny tonight.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:04:28

I wish old Tel still did this sad

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:04:31

It's just Malm, Boffles, I think.

(part-McWitch, part-meatball)

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:04:36

Allthings I'm sure the official thread is very lovely, but I'm a Eurovision amateur and I'd hate to sully your thread with random rumblings about Hanson porn, and Francis Rossi lust.

I don't mind sulllying Raahh's obv

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:05:19

Ooh Benny Anderson wrote this. He's Abba, yes?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:05:32

I learnt Swedish for a year at university. I can't remember much.

This isn't exactly 'Waterloo' is it?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:05:34

We wouldn't win this if a choir compromised of adele, cliff Richard and the angel Gabriel entered.

They all hate us.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:05:34

Gotta love a bit o'Benny

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:05:34

Ooh, shall we play ---->

which one has BOF shagged? The EuroTour version

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:06:22

Lol at which one has Bof shagged.

I got a bit caught up in the articles on bof's link.

Boff has boffed him in the tracksuit, him with the Bieber hair and the Tall One.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:06:41

The waving one, she's done him too.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:06:45

Sully away, Noelgrin

Jakers, this Abba song is a special kind of tedious, no?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:06:57

Who ARE these people, I wasn't listening

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:07:04

Nice to see all the transsexual community has turned out for the parade. Taking a break from The Apprentice then.

ALL the waving ones

Him with the <showbiz fingers>. She's had him.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:07:26

Booooonnnniiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:07:30

Ok how much do we want to see someone fall down those stairs? <just me then?>

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:07:32

What did I do? The official thread seems to have shared out numbers and countries and have order and structure. I er don't.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:07:45

ooh, it's like the Olympics! Do they usually do this? i don't remember them doing this before?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:08:02

That Jesus one, she gave him an ascension.

I so want a job doing Special Slow Loping Walking with the flags. In a white suit. I would rock that all the ways.

You shouldn't really diet on Eurovision night, think it's illegal or summat?

I'm on pint of bacardi and coke, pork scratchings and scampi fries. For starters.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:08:45

I do think graham does a passable terry homage in his commentary. Graham is one of many gay men I want to marry.

They're not doing Touchy Fingers with the crowd. They do on XF <huffs>

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:09:07

I'm on the orange and Spatone (it's practically a cocktail) with a side order of HG. Rock and/or roll.

Maybe this'll remind them all how good our Olympics was and they'll give us points? nope

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:09:16

Some impressives poles there.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:09:19

Juniper- I'm beginning to think you are right. The onlyother times I've watched this sober i've been pregnant. Or 8.

They clearly think it's like the Olympics with all this hmm

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:09:49

Thats a bit of a pink shocker!

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:09:57

I started myfirnesspal this morning. I'm not going to put in what I've eaten and drunk today as it would say "if today were a typical day in 10 weeks you will have gained 200 pounds".

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:10:04

thats a very pink frock

Who else, Chubb?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:10:09

It's a Disney princess!

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:10:19

Is this Swedish Miranda then?

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 18-May-13 20:10:27

She's wearing princess auroras dress from sleeping beauty. Odd.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:10:45

Ohhh pun-tastic

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:10:46

What is she wearing?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:10:47

Chub -I lied to myfitnesspal todayblush

It's bad luck for us if you're too sober.

Pork scratchings have gone, scampi fries it is.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:11:47

Oh dear. Swedish humourgrin

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:12:02

She may be a comedian but she isnt great at reading an autocue.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:12:04

Freddie mercury (the corner of his card is folded down what with being dead and all)
George Michael
Sebastian Flyte (problem x2 - a dead alcoholic and also not real)

You can't lie to MFP. It knows.

Chubb, you are in the bad books grin No fun indeed.

Why does that dress that looks a bit like a coat have pockets?

Did someone turn off the autocue?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:12:40

Orrrrrrstralia eh?

At least she isn't the usual model like, vacant host they usually have.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:12:40

good of hr to tell us we need a phone to vote. As opposed to carrier pigeon.

euRaa noooo that's a sin!!!

I did an abs blast class today. Have undone all that work. Do I care?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:13:24

She's the spit of someone non Swedish... who is it?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:13:26

SPECKLED JIM!!!

Sebastian Flyte grin. Him and his little bear, too.
I wouldn't do Freddie. Pag has.
Maybe Bof has knowledge of George?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:14:06

I was planning on paging my vote in

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:14:08

She looks like arlene Phillips to me. But I am myopic.

Does she not look like an actually attractive version of Katie Holmes?

Was that Miranda with French one? grin

coffeeinbed Sat 18-May-13 20:14:19

I want us to win only to have Miranda presenting.
Go Bonnie!

<pulls out ancient fax machine for voting>

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:14:48

General, did you own a lovely, plump, speckily pigeon called Speckled Jim, which you hand reared from a chick and which was your only childhood friend?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:14:51

WTAF? Pag has fucked Freddie mercury? Are you shittibg me?

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:14:55

I think we are too rude for the official thread. I don't think they link to Richard Hammond erotica.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:14:55

Glad some others saw Miranda as well

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:15:16

Ooh, shredded pleather!

Blimes. A touch of the red light chic there
And she's speaking forrin <baffled>

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:15:44

Its Courtney Love

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:16:12

I'm sure I used to listen to this as part pf the Highlander tv soundtrack?

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:16:13

Mintyy has had Colin Firth, you know <nods sagely>

Pag almost dated FM. I am prone to exaggeration, you may have noticed :D

She's cross about something, this one. Is it cos the cat got at her bodice?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:16:27

Pixie Lotts mam

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:16:30

Why is Steffi Graff singing for France?

Bet Jessie J is waiting in the dressing room to nick that dress.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:16:53

I've snogged Eddie Izzard does that count?

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 18-May-13 20:16:56

She has a look of Courtney love about her. Which is not a good look on anybody.

Non. Je ne l'aime pas.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:17:06

Trying to be Debbie Harry.

There are only about four actual looms and everyone tries to be one if them

Marilyn
Audrey Hepburn
Debbie Harry
Doris day

God I would like to see a woman look original one day

Jessie J would turn for her <works on SO MANY LEVELS>

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:17:20

I can see my Internet is going to keep failing to piss me off.
She's intense , this one.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:17:21

Tina Turner from the neck down.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:17:25

Looms = looks

Courtney Love that's it. Couldn't remember her name.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:17:44

I understood some of that. It was a bit meh.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:18:05

Thank fuck. France can't afford to win - I need my taxes to stay down.

arf sue

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:18:14

Ooh god yes Eddie Izard. I would.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:18:50

a bit "Proclaimers" in the intro

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:18:53

Matthew Marsden's older brother.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:18:54

It's Bryan Adams

That was the summer, the summer of 69

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:19:00

Danny is that you? All alone? wink

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:19:02

Ooh, it appears I have a natural ear for Lithuanian too.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:19:10

Now, i remember this one- think he loves his shoes! It's very 80's Fall b-side.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:19:11

He grew up listening to Aha.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:19:18

Sounds like Morton Harket

Dresses like Horton Market

Eddie Izzard, so would I. Until he taught me how to apply eyeliner.

The FBs tell me it was 50 Shades of Zut Alors, Boff. Zat so?

This one has the hair, lack of self-awareness and vacant expression of a Made in Chelsea type.

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:19:40

Is he singing about his shoes?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:19:53

Because of my shoes?

Dud he just say it's because of my shoes?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:20:03

Because of his shoes- one is called Love- the other is paingrin
(or Spain, as someone mis-heard it)

Oh dear.

Blogas. (means bad in Lithuanian)

I'd have done Eddie in 2002. Now he's all political and boxy.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:20:23

That looked like a fuck up?

He does not have the cheekbones of Morten Harket.

But neither does Morten Harket anymore sad

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:20:40

I thought it one of them suede grin

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:20:43

"One is called love, the other is called Spain". Not sure about that though.

What's wrong with his shoes? Why does he name them?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:21:05

I thought he said Spain too. Maybe it's a subliminal bid for points.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:21:18

Oh Eddie 10 years ago was mmmmm. Not so much now.

MiaCulper Sat 18-May-13 20:21:20

I have some shoes I call 'Pain'. The fuckers.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:21:26

the other is pain!

ProphetOfDoom Sat 18-May-13 20:21:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:21:31

Well so far I am enjoying this immensely

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:21:31

They're making Made In Brixton - trufact.

I luff my shoes. One is called Tom. The other is Solipsism. <sings>

Do you think Graham would want our comments? wink

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:22:07

Andreas Pyjamas. And his shoes. Nulpoint.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:22:08

He needs an insole.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:22:16

Sue grin

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:22:43

Ooh- I like this one- she was a dancer on my favourite one last year.

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:22:44

Eddie eyeballed me in Kettners about 15 years ago.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:22:58

Her hair's on back to front.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:23:01

volcano frock

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:23:04

There's three of us here, still singing about his bloody shoes. That's a winner I tell ya

She was watching A Flock of Seagulls at the hairdressers wasn't she.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:23:08

I guarantee graham comes here. Have you heard his problem slot on his radio 2 Saturday show? You can just hear him on the verge of saying you are being unreasonable

Nu.

Oh, DANCERS, excellent
Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be the only woman ever to actually have a hairstyle from one of those Hair Today magazines.

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:23:37

And now we have Iman - wonder if David is in the audience?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:23:47

I reckon shoe guy could do it.

This is dull.

I think she fell of a roll of loo paper?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:24:08

Will be interesting to see her walk in this frock...

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:24:11

Sue I have to say you are bloody funny.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:24:14

Has she got a light bulb up her cunt?

coffeeinbed Sat 18-May-13 20:24:22

Whoever did her hair ought to be shot.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:24:25

What a lovely nose job she has

ProphetOfDoom Sat 18-May-13 20:24:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yes indeed.

She is famous. for her headshots in the windows of Toni and Guy.

MiaCulper Sat 18-May-13 20:24:48

Is that the dress that was on the Gadget Show?

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:24:58

It's bad they are cheering for a very long dress while the wearer is being born aloft, rather than the singing?

Is her skirt all lit up? From the inside?
Maybe that's what she's singing about. It translates as 'torch up my fanny, gypsy wedding dress blues'

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:25:03

Her dress is on fire!!!!

dementedma Sat 18-May-13 20:25:10

Ds has fallen in love with the frock. I worry about that boy!

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 18-May-13 20:25:10

I have just discovered the subtitles. Brilliant.

We put on pages then we both destroyed them, she's singing.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:25:23

Aaaaa yeaaahh ahh. Her sex is on fire

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:25:25

The light bulbs got too jot. She's on fire

coffeeinbed Sat 18-May-13 20:25:40

mind you, seeing the lightbulb in her cunt the hair might be the least of her problems.

She does smack of Iman yes can see that.

I hope she has a tenna on, one little leak and she's fucked.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:25:45

Graham has got us in his phone

MiaCulper Sat 18-May-13 20:25:47

I am loving the subtitles. "It's the end of the world, the Maya were not so wrong." Brilliant.

Tena!

<blows kisses at Chubb>

Bless her. Like a giant Loo-roll doll, wasn't she?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:26:14

Hint???

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:26:40

DO you know, whenever I heard of the country Modova, I think of Dynasty and the Moldavian Massacre.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:26:43

I love Graham

Good Lord. Yes, he'll marry you now love. no bother.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:26:51

What the fuck?

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:26:52

ah the political whinge at Finland's government.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:26:52

If two girls kissing offends you then you need to grow up

I LOVE you graham

Oh my she's desperate God love her.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:27:14

Protest snog coming up...

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:27:15

Whats with the pinnies.

MunchkinsMumof2 Sat 18-May-13 20:27:34

Arf Graham "if 2 girls snogging offends you, you need to grow up" quote of the night so far grin

They nearly styled Avril Lavigne this way. Then they went with bratty at the last minute. But it was so nearly Stalker Bride.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:27:38

Wasn't that when Michael Praed was in it, Hazel?

I'm with Turkey on this one.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:27:46

This is like some relationships threads

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:27:49

The Rocky Horror Show has lost a couple of cast members

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:27:49

And her shoes

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:27:56

Juniper LOL at 'Tena'!

Why on earth didn't he marry her, she seems charming smile

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 18-May-13 20:28:17

I am absolutely loving this song

She's insanio. Great stuff.

RED FLAGS

Slave? Master? Walk of Shame?

Someone offer to send her Lundy Bancroft, STAT

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:28:37

Her shoes remind me of My Little Pony

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:28:48

My Eddie experience was back in 2000 wink

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:29:02

I just shrieked at that close up!

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:29:04

It's Kerry Katona's theme song.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:29:38

I reckon this could win

Marry me
I'll be your queen bee
I'll do the walk of shame

What an offer

Surely one of the few points of marriage is that you never have to do the walk of shame again

Arf @ KK's song
Why is she ding-donging the waitress?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:29:41

Ding Dong

Ha at Graham.

Eh, I thought the red piny woman were meant to be the MIL?

ilovesooty Sat 18-May-13 20:29:59

Lol Sue

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:30:00

Arf at Kerry katona

MiaCulper Sat 18-May-13 20:30:05

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ding dong

Oooo, Spain. You know - the shoe that isn't called Love.

That took subtlety to a whole new level.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:30:16

Susanna Hoff!

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:30:20

She needs a new camera.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:30:44

Michael was the Crown Prince, Raahh, called, er Prince Michael.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:30:48

FREEEEEEEDOMMMM

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:30:55

I think she thought he would run onto the stage at the end with a Tiffany box

AWKWARD

Turns out bagpipes are shit internationally

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:31:03

At least they seem to be chugging through them.

She was married to Alonso? I'm struggling to keep up here.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:31:13

Oh god the annual I want to be bjork entry

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:31:22

Finland my fave so far.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 18-May-13 20:31:44

Oh dear sad

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:31:46

I wish I could wear yellow.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:31:47

She is nervous- all throat.

MiaCulper Sat 18-May-13 20:31:54

Somehow this poor Spanish lady doesn't have quite so much impact after the ding-donging.

Does she sound flat to everyone else?

No me gusta.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:32:28

Actually really liked Finland, very boppy

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:32:29

A bit, scone.

They're good and brief, you can't argue with that.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:32:38

Vernon Kaye on geetar there

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:32:44

No.

Allthingspretty Sat 18-May-13 20:32:45

Not a fan of this one.
I like the hair of the man playinh the guitar

ilovesooty Sat 18-May-13 20:33:17

She's launching an Ikea lampshade.

Bare feet. And she's riverdancing a little bit.
Do you know, I think she may be kooky.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 20:33:26

Finland = awful message
This = boring
Very 70's style on her and the guitarist though

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:33:38
euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:33:42

This is rather dull. But i suspect Spain don't want to host it next year anywaygrin

It's Boff's Bieber what she Boffed!

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:34:24

Do we have to be nice if he's only 18 ?

I like this already because he's just a bairn.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:34:48

Poor BOF

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:34:53

Chris de Burgh

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:34:56

Dancing eyebrows!

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:35:05

Psycho eyes.

yes we do euR

How old is he supposed to be? Because he looks dead behind the eyes.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:35:17

He's 18 but his eyebrows are 72

They haven't styled him like he's 18.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:35:26

What's with all the S&M songs? Is it the Fifty Shades Of Shite factor?

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:35:28

He's so earnest, love him.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:35:35

It's thingy Rosenthal, isn't it?
The comedian one, whose dad talked about football.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:35:43
ilovesooty Sat 18-May-13 20:35:56

The commentator on the semis said he looked like a bush baby.

Jakers yes, Chris de Burgh <shudders>

What's with the sulky girls behind him? Why are they doing I'm a Little Teapot? <confused>

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:36:11

How are you all following the lyrics? Do you have subtitles on?

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:36:15

You have got to give Chris DeBurgh's plastic surgeon his due though. Respect.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:36:26

Genuine LOL at he shoulder dancing

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:36:28

What the bollocking hell are those women doing behind him?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:36:31

Those dancers are shocking.

I'm finding the dancers a trifle disturbing. That move just then looked like they had just realised that their tena pads had become dislodged.

yes he's styled like an insurance salesman who forgot his tie.

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:36:52

I fear the 2 women dancing have been taught by my DD's disco dancing teacher.

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:36:59

That's it girls - give me the 'showcase your vag' manoevre..

He looks a leeetle like he may kill over and over, never mind love.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:37:42

I am a quarter Flemish and actually quite unhappy with my part-country here

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:37:49

Love the gripping the air gesture.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 20:37:58

I don't usually like black but I guess it fits the song that he is dressed in a funeral outfit. Cute eyebrows, boring song.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:38:01

Aww, he enjoyed himself.

He's only 18. Apparently.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:38:05

Sorry I completely zoned out during that

SoulTrain Sat 18-May-13 20:38:07

Bonjour Gang?

What the fuck was that? 18? Lordy Lou....

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:38:07

What number is Bonnie

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:38:08

The dancing looked a bit like the choreography from "Naughty" in Matilda.

YoniTime Sat 18-May-13 20:38:13

*black suits

SoulTrain Sat 18-May-13 20:38:43

When's Bonnie on?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:38:47

Bonnie is 15

Aww she's having a babby smile

Very pretty bit like one of my neices.

starlightloz Sat 18-May-13 20:39:01

yes, Prudence, press the red button for subtitles, well worth it!

Is it good, Clara? I'm taking Small to see it next week.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:39:08

Ok who put the Instagram filter on the camera?

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:39:11

Why is it black and white? Can the live audience see that?

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:39:16

You think it's hard to access your diaphragm voice if you're pregnant? <technical>

SoulTrain Sat 18-May-13 20:39:16

Black and white....chilling.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:39:36

Do you think they put the studio into black and white too?

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:39:39

Thank you starlight. smile

nieces*

I'm liking the subtitles

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:39:51

I've only seen some youtube stuff, but I think you are in for a treat, sue

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:40:01

OMG - Belguim Boy won.... TheVoice (Flemish).

So there's lovely.

SoulTrain Sat 18-May-13 20:40:05

Does everyone have to sing live?

MunchkinsMumof2 Sat 18-May-13 20:40:21

Quite like this Estonian offering.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:40:29

I seem to recall Jordan having an issue with accessing any voice with it, but it could just have been the catsuit.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:40:32

Ooh smoke machine.

Bonnie is using some wind

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:40:45

So pretty. Even wearing a gazebo

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:40:47

This is inoffensive enough.

SoulTrain Sat 18-May-13 20:41:15

It would appear not.

DID he Hazel? Who judges that?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:41:27

FFS - this is how you do pregnant Eurovision. Jordan always brings it <necksnake>

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:41:29

I'm going for a wee

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:41:30

Hazel- did he? Wow.

Did she expect her bump to be bigger when she picked this frock?

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:41:48

There's a spray tan technician backstage who really needs a holiday

It had better be all the flavours of fabulous Clara, I am very poor after buying tickets.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:42:18

It was a bit bland. I can't remember it already.

ilovesooty Sat 18-May-13 20:42:21

Oh, it's good old Euro tat coming up.

Maybe she thought she'd need to hide the band under her dress.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:42:30

Ooh, a Duffy bicycle number, goody.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:42:39

Katie price was our Eurovision entry? I must have blanked that out.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 18-May-13 20:42:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:42:51

Well, Sue:

...Quentin Mosimann, Lio, Joshua and Beverly Jo Scott, [judges] all turned their chairs to face him, Bellarosa ultimately decided to join Quentin Mosimann's team with assistant coach Tara McDonald.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 20:43:19

This will do well

Oi Holly Valance, someone stole your style...

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:43:32

Is it warm in Belarus?

Lorelilee Sat 18-May-13 20:43:37

Not bad!

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 20:43:44

Yeah well don't come crying to us when you've a chill on your kidneys love

Very energetic. Do you think she's a Beyonce fan?

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:44:01

You can build a hot night out of playdoh. Good to know.

So you go into the plastic surgeons clutching a picture of the Spice Girls and they give you ALL of them in one face. There's value.

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:44:05

Ooh jazz hands

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:44:13

Shakiralike.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:44:24

Not a natural dancer.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:44:41

That's exactly it Prudence!

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:44:45

She tried, but she was beaten by Javine IIRC Chub.

Beverly Jo Scott knows a winner <nods>

Why isn't the sun shining on me? Is it shining on any of ya?

Chubfuddler Sat 18-May-13 20:44:55

Yes I was thinking shakira

IceNoSlice Sat 18-May-13 20:45:10

Katie defo echoes of Holly Valance. Maybe with a bit of Shakira thrown in?

It is kiss kiss isn't it?

ilovesooty Sat 18-May-13 20:45:10

Rip off of Greece 2005.

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:45:14

A bit shouty.

I think she looks like Katherine Jenkins, if I squint.

ShadeofViolet Sat 18-May-13 20:45:28

DS likes this one.

dementedma Sat 18-May-13 20:45:29

Teen dds have both just turned green with jealousy at this girls fabulous legs!

You don't make play doh with a hot night. You need flour, and salt and food colouring.

CuntAlors Sat 18-May-13 20:45:41

Very Shakira. This could win.

DearPrudence Sat 18-May-13 20:45:41

<snort> at Noel with the chill on the kidneys remark. grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 18-May-13 20:46:12

So, talking of Beyonce (someone was) - is she preg? Was she before?
I vote: yes, and no.

ClaraOswald Sat 18-May-13 20:46:28

I liked Malta iin the Semi's

BOF Sat 18-May-13 20:46:37

Oh my god, it's Thin Joey.

euRaahhvision Sat 18-May-13 20:46:42

She reminded me of Gina G- remember 'ooh ah just a little bit'? That was so shit, I can't believe it didn't win.