Ding-ding - It's The Voice Pretendy Boxing Week! Fight-off! Whoop, whoop!

(831 Posts)

I will make this exciting if it kills me grin

I saw Cleopatra Coming Atcha on the breakfast news, saying how much she and Will-He-Go? have in common hmm. She reckons their careers have been similar - what with him being in an internationally successful band, having a solo career and being a producer.
And her having done a song with her sisters and all.
It's just the same really.

Also, this is the first week they let the stylists have a crack. Shall we play wrap-dress bingo?

noddyholder Sat 11-May-13 12:39:22

I think all the has beens should step aside! I love the Voice though my ds and dp laugh every time they see Tom!

Is it only her, from the Has Beens? I can't remember who got through. I need a list of teams, I will go look.

noddyholder Sat 11-May-13 12:44:10

No there is a boy who kind of made it in the US I think and another couple,I like the girl from northern ireland

Pics of tonight's battlers here - I don't think we know/care about actual names, do we?
48 to whittle down this weekend, bloody hell. It's like the Jesus Marathon all over again.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 15:01:30

Afternoongrin
Cleopatra was one of those annoying groups/singers that had to name check themselves in their songs, just in case we didn't know who they were.
See also - Craig David, and... Jessie Jgrin
It's on tomorrow as well,isn't it?

I think ear plugs are in order, as it will doubtless get very shouty grin

And yes, wrap dresses for the Adele tribute acts are a must. And lots of pleathergrin.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 16:17:24

Did Cleopatra have a show on Citv or am I dreaming?

I missed the girl who is partially sighted, I think she is the neice of a 'country' singer from over here called Philomena Begley.
I can only hope to god she is vastly different from her.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 16:19:57

Good grief, I've just seen it's on until nearly 10. DH will be delighted.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 16:27:31

coco- yup

Cleopatra

didn't realise how long ago it was!

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 16:38:47

afternoon all

Over here cocolepew? Where are you again?

Arf Raah at the name checking. Also Fresh Prince of BA and Five. Or 5ive who are now 4our.

So, one drink, or malteser, for all of the following:

Wrap dress
Sparkly tunic
Giving it any more than is mathematically possible.
Pleather
Stomping and pointing at the floor in a Street sort of way. (Much stomping in the battle rounds last year)
Air grab
Jessie J singing
Danny taking any excuse to hug his new Fwends

Any more?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 17:01:22

N.Ireland. we have a long history of crap country singers.

I was too old for the Cleopatra tv show. It must have been knockibg about when DD1 was small.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 17:06:42

Crotch grabbing.
Waving finger in opponents face, head shake optional.
Standing looking incredulous at opponents.
Most, if not all of these, will be done by her with the mohican.

Of course you are, I forgot.
Joe Dolan? Or worser still?

Her with the mohican is singing orf against CleopatraComingAtcha

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 17:16:49

Worse. Her and Hugo Duncan, The Wee Man From Straban <shudder>

Ohhh lots of attitude then. Probably even a couple of neck wiggles.

noddyholder Sat 11-May-13 17:26:13

I went to a country fair with philomena begley singing when I was a child Hideous!

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 17:31:34

Noddy sad

Poor Noddy. With some therapy, you may one day forget.

YY, necksnaking and Hip Showbiz Fingers all over the shop.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 17:36:21

And singing in American accents.
Like they come from South Central LA instead of Brum, or wherever. guuurlfriend

So, one drink, or malteser, for all of the following:

Wrap dress
Sparkly tunic
Giving it any more than is mathematically possible.
Pleather
Stomping and pointing at the floor in a Street sort of way. (Much stomping in the battle rounds last year)
Air grab
Jessie J singing
Danny taking any excuse to hug his new Fwends
Singing in American accents, like they come from South Central LA instead of Brum, or wherever. guuurlfriend
Necksnaking and Hip Showbiz Fingers
Crotch grabbing.
Waving finger in opponents face, head shake optional.
Standing looking incredulous at opponents.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 18:04:47

I don't have any Malteasers do I'll just have to drink instead #takingonefortheteam.

grin. I think either works.
We're all expecting to be in a drink or sugar-induced coma by ten.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 18:27:01

I am dietingsad

I will drink copious amounts of water instead (and go for a wee during JJ's comments)grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 18:43:00

Ello Ello Ello

Til 10 you say?

Do I have the strength I ask

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 18:48:26

Oh yeah. I'm supposed to be dieting as well.

I start on Monday grin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 18:59:39

Lager is just like water surely? No calories.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:00:44

Things being 'real' has to go on the bingo. And if anything is 'really real', we all have to put down our dibbers and neck the bottle.

Is it still spinny chairs tonight? Cleopatra comin Atcha said 'crapping myself' on BBC this morning. sad

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:02:08

Tonight I will be mainly drinking Aldi gin (& T), with lots of cucumber. Maybe a splash of elderflower. I am beckoning the sun back, you see.

I have Aldi Shandy. £1.49 for 6 cans. grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:08:37

Clicky here for the list of 'battle rounds' and songs to be murdered in Round One.

I am on lime and soda. But I do have Fakey Lidl Pimms in the cupboard, if the need is urgent.

It is spinny chairs I think, but EVEN BETTER. There is a TWIST desperate attempt to boost the ratings. Each judge gets to 'steal' an axed act.
So anyone who looked like they were in the wrong team? PRIMED.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:11:32

I bloody love Aldi, Sparkling. Although I have not been tempted by the random aisle of tat recently sad

Team Will
Jordan Lee Davis v Matt Henry
- Do I Do by Stevie Wonder

Nu Tarna v Cleo Higgins
- Finally by Cece Peniston

Team Danny
Andrea Begley v Alice Barlow
- People Help The People by Birdy

Team Jessie
Katie Benbow v Sarah Cassidy
- ET by Katy Perry

Ash Morgan v Adam Barron
- I Won’t Let You Go by James Morrison

Team Tom
Jamie Bruce v LB Robinson
- When Love Comes to Town by U2

C&Pd from Hazel's linky.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:12:42

Wasn't there a Welsh that Stoma didn't get for his collection?

Collection grin. Makes him sound like a pube headed serial killer. When of course he is ANYTHING but.

YY, but she didn't go through at all, did she? So they will have to find a reason for the Sun to expose some benefit fraud/visa probs/GBH past and then bring her back as a fixed viewer's vote. Like NanFucker.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 19:19:32

Wow some totally top tunes there then hmm

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:20:50

Ohh me and DD were songing Finally by Cece in the ar, the other day. We were crap, but still probably better than SWWA (Shouty Women With Attitude).

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:21:40

Car, not ar. I'm not a pirate.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 19:22:02

Oh, ANYTHING but... grin

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 19:24:18

I'm here! With some rose' and some kids! What was that one last year when it was two against one and all girls singing something like 'you do not know my name, to the left to the left' all feisty like?

To the left to the left makes me larf. WTF is that for a lyric?

noddyholder Sat 11-May-13 19:27:55

Everything you own in a box to the left It makes sense if you see the video she is asking him to move his stuff lol I need to get out more!

YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME

No, and I'm not sure I want to, young lady. Presumptuous and rude. <sniffs>

YY, noddy, but what's wrong with 'there'? Or 'over there'? Or actual specific directions?
Is she guiding him blindfolded? To the left, to the left - no, you've gone past. Getting warmer......... missed it.

noddyholder Sat 11-May-13 19:32:43

I thought it was to the left so that the car can get past to pick him up (I am making it up now)

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:33:35

Who sang to the left thingy, its annoying me now. I keep thinking Lauren Hill.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:36:47

Or is it Bouncey?

Bouncey innit?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:39:02

I hate Bouncey and her husband and his crap rapping.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 19:42:18

Did you see the photo from years ago,with the Jay Z lookylikey in it? Weird.

No. What is, pliss?

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 19:54:56

I don't know about it as a lyric, it's just quite easy to dance to confused cant believe you all know what I'm on about. I might have to get it on iTunes now.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 19:59:55

I've realised it's not on next week because of EUROVISION.

I bloody LOVE Eurovision.

We've no chance of winninggrin

EUROVISION <gasps>

Did you SEE Bonnie Tyler, did you? I saw an ad for her new album. She looks like the Stay-Puft man in a blonde wig. Had much work done? Rilly?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:09:21

I saw BT on the one Show. She does look worked on. Maybe she will explode, like at the end of Ghostbusters?

We really don't want to win it.

She'll be on 'The Voice' next year....

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:10:38

Have you heard the woman talk? It's like Brian Blessed doing a welsh accent.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:11:47

grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:13:21

I'll be watching Eurovision, even though it drives me mental. I like Graham Nortons commentary even though I thought he'd never match old Woges.

And I bet by the end of it I'll be complaining to my DH that we should just pull out of it next year as the bastards hate us so much grin

grin. Poor Bonnie. But honestly, she looks like Vanessa Feltz has been shrunk in the wash.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:14:01

I have news! The Saturday after next, I am GOING TO BE IN A LES MIS FLASHMOB grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:15:05

<squeal>

Tell us more!

I saw that! What will you wear? And what will you do?
Cut off all your hair, not wash and wail a bit?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:17:46

It will be at 2.30pm in the Liverpool One shopping centre, 25th May. Singing Do You Hear The People Sing.

I'm a bit gutted its not One Day More, but at least this way I won't have to murderize the woman who can actually sing taking the Éponine part in a cunning plan to usurp her.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:18:33

grin@BoF

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:19:24

It's supposed to be normal clothes to be all stealth-like, but we need to surreptitiously hide a red flag about our person if possible. Any ideas how I can conceal a pole?

Stop sniggering at the back.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:19:35

grin

How exciting! Are you going to do the whole thing ie idly looking in shop windows before bursting into song?

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:20:15

Oh x posts, yes you are

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:21:06

Yy, I will be incognito. But one of the guys will be in Enjolras costume. I just hope he has a pre-written restraining order.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:22:53

Never before have I been so desperate to go to Liverpool on a Saturday afternoon.... grin

You know what would make it more secret, like? Not giving the full details on an open forum grin

Pole on a snap-out white stick, obvs

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 11-May-13 20:27:47

Balls.

I have MIL here so can't MN and watch at same time. Would be rude.

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 11-May-13 20:28:56

grin BoF that sounds amaze.

Just checking in so I can read along, am here on my lonesome tonight so watching without DHs sarcastic commentary.

About to fire up the horlicks and settle in for the night on the sofa.

<waves to all who I've realised have no idea who I am because I keep name changing>

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:29:41

I'd love to see a RL flash mob, though they make me sob like a baby blush

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:30:05

<SCREAM> at the photo. Yes, yes, I MUST do that grin

Should I withdraw that post? Have I ruined it? grin

No, silly. Who will see it tucked away in here? I was joshing you
Do do the dress-up.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:34:09

Can't link to jayz photo, haven't figured out how to on phone.
How exciting BOF will you be on youtube?
It will be The Voice for you next year.

And look grumpy when wearing it. Then you can be a Mizzy Lezzer <dies at self>

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:35:16

Can we have down your drink/eat biscuits every time JJ criticises someone's diction?

I think my two packets of biscuits won't last long

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:35:59

Does anyone actually do any of these convoluted Lotto games

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:36:06
BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:36:30

Sue gringringrin

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 20:37:50

I'd swear he just said let basil commence

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:37:58

Lol at the Jay Zed photo

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:38:07

Cheers my dear.

DH has just realised how long its on for. Did you all hear him swear?

Now everyone. Look fighty. Pretend to care. Pretend, damn you.

MooseBeTimeForSpring Sat 11-May-13 20:38:30

Bloody spooky that Jay-Z photo.

BOF have fun at the flash mob. I'm sure it will be on YouTube for posterity smile

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:38:41

Shit my biscuits are all gone in the opening sequence

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:39:07

Dido??????
Bring on the bland!

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:39:13

I've actually started googling illnesses that I think Danny may be suffering from. The guy looks like absolute shite

DILDO? Her of the terminal flatness?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:39:20

No one is safe? What, from Danny jizzing on their leg in desperation?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 20:39:22

oh god not Dido

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:39:44

Oh god Dido. <Kills self>

Oh, Cerys. So very, very Welsh.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:40:11

Fed up of the boxing puns already

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:40:33

Dante Santiago, excellent name.

Geraldine is KILLING me. I know we pick a Geraldine for every XF etc - but never has one actually been so alike that I'm still expecting Peter Kay to shout SURPRISE and jump out.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:41:42

Holly's got the big guns out I see

Lets hope there's another tit height bald headed bloke to stand next to her again this year

Gosh it is starting and I haven't read the threat <quivers>

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:42:03

Yeah.
Bye Jamie.

Cerys' grin is looking vair fixed these days
botox? pelvic floor ishoos?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:44:02

i don't get the point of this- it's just a shout fest.
Show'em how it's done, S'Toma!

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:44:27

Good grief Toms teeth!! <dons sunglasses>

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:44:36

Ooh Bof that sounds ace.

Sue is there any reality shit you don't watch?

What's happened to Cerys Matthews face? Cheap Botox?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:45:00

It's a young Ray Winstone.

TEETH!
he's like Frank Butcher with a merkin on his bonce

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:45:11

X post.

So did Jessie Js hair grow back or what?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:45:24

I would at least try to lose a couple of pounds if I was going on the telly. Or breath in a lot.

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:45:29

God I really hate the battles. Thy should actually fight each other. Any would be there with the jelly trying to get in the middle.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:45:34

Jamie is scaring me

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:45:35

God I'm scared. Actually scared.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:45:48

Cerys does not blink. FACT.

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 20:45:48

what have they done to Jamie's hair

Chubb, only singing shite and Prentice. That's all the tv I DO watch, I have literally no clue about anything else grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:45:49

Necksnaking bingo

What the jeff was with the little limbering up before starting to sing?

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:46:19

Not any. I meant Danny

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:46:32

I'm not sure this is live- or if she's wearing a wig- since her hair was vair short and blonde in the papers the orher week.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:46:40

Stomping and pointing at the floor in a Street sort of way bingo

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:46:44

Staring!!!!! Time for a drink.

LB (?) is lovely
Your other man looks like Meatloaf's big brother. MeatSweats

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:47:05

Stomping!!!

Staring AND stomping <crams>

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:47:28

Someone slap Jessie.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:47:31

Im going to be pissed before the next 2 are on at this rate.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:47:54

Danny is doing his Roll Up Roll Up clap he uses to lure kids onto the waltzers.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:47:56

JJ appears to be having some sort of fit.

Can someone call the St Johns?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:48:32

So, will Danny go in for a big MeatSweaty hug with the biggun?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:48:43

Jamie would eat the jelly
Or put it in his hair

Why was Danny hOlding his index fingers aloft?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:48:51

Lol at body slamming

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:48:53

What was with the pointing by the black bloke when the meatloaf bloke started? That was odd.

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 20:49:15

Oh bloody hell I keep flipping the thread instead of adding message. Knew painkillers and rose was a crap idea. Now I can't think straight, but I think I love LB

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:49:25

Bill Bo Baggins IS Whoopi Goldberg

S'Toma trying so very hard to care

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:49:49

I have a dominos half and half pizza all to myself

Nom nom

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:49:50

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:49:52

JAMIE????????

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:49:53

Tom has rheumy eyes.

MmeLindor Sat 11-May-13 20:49:55

Am missing it sad

Still watching BGT on catchup

Am staying with my parents and have to watch what they watch.

Won't be back in own house for another couple of weeks

WHAAAAT? MeatSweats?
Thass so someone can pinch him. PRIMED.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:50:22

Huh?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:50:31

But- there is twist people- so LB may yet get saved....

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:50:36

I could comfort LB I reckon.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:50:44

Mme - have your parents ever been to Wales? It's Sir Tom!!

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:50:45

What is thus steal nonsense?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:50:49

x-postSue

Awkward

BOF Sat 11-May-13 20:51:11

I'm a bit flummoxed by the rules...

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:51:18

I would comfort him after you.

He is lovely.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:51:52

God it's like standing at the edge of the dance floor at a school disco.

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 20:51:52

Jamie had the better voice.

<bemused and befuddled>

ZolaBuddleia Sat 11-May-13 20:51:57

Every time someone says "battle" my sphincter gets tighter.

Is JJ dressed in putty coloured string?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:52:30

SO - the stealing.
They started with 12 on their team, and there will be battles to get it down to 6 each...

... but they can each steal one of the rejects, so they end up with 7 from the battles.

But I don't know if they have to steal them then and there, or can LB be stolen later?

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 20:52:36

Whaaaat? Chubby Jamie? Lb is luvverly,

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:52:37

Oh will.

He is batshit mental

They all get to save one reject, Boffles.
But they are PRIMED obvs

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:52:56

Jamie was rubbish.

Oh, S'Toma. He just doesn't want to be responsible for the winner again

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:53:01

Yay!!!!

It's her off Corrie again!

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:53:22

It appears to be there and then.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:53:54

Awww, the Corrie one is like that 'Porcelain' from Glee. Kurt? Is he still in Glee? I only watched the 1st series.

Very subtle sofa there - Bill.blow.me.down

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:54:20

I swear I'm changing my name to Dante Santiago.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:54:23

Who is this Jordan weirdo? Is he a eunuch?

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:54:37

He's like a little Macca <showbiz fingers>

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:54:41

It is a great name

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:55:06

Jordan will be doing jazz hands soon.

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 20:55:12

I might need to have a little sleep. An shovelling carbs to make up for it.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:55:12

I don;t think he's over-burdened with testosterone, Chub

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:55:21

is he wearing a bow tie?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:55:25

He's even dressed like Kurt

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:55:45

You can comfort this next loser coco

No he ISN'T wearing that grin
He's like a little........nothing on earth

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:55:47

God this pizza is good

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:56:05

Danny dressed as a nun tonight.

Your man doing the Carlton dance grin

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:56:26

The stylist hates the both of them, clearly.

Pointing! Necksnaking!
<crams>

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:56:38

Not a eunuch guy is much better.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:56:43

Kurt needs a wee

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:56:51

Oh gee whizz thanks Noel. Mighty generous of you.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:56:52

Was he the inspiration for Kimmie K at the Met Ball, in her upholstered dress?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:56:59

I LOVE THE CARLTON DANCE

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:57:11

What is up with Jordan's face? Looks like he has something unexpected tickling his anus

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:57:28

DANCING!!!

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 20:57:31

Hehe

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 20:57:33

Oh now my eyes hurt. Wtf are they wearing [drunken self pity]

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:57:34

Arf at Carlton dance.

Do you know, I need more gin. Oddly, am getting through No 1 very quickly.

They did this last year. Put two good ones together, then pointlessly let two utter no-hopers wail off.
Some real shockers got through by default. JoS and Dead Mate's Mate, for three

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 20:57:54

Sit. The. Fuck. Down. Jessie.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:58:05

Has there been a pitch invasion by the bee gees? What with the falsetto?

ZolaBuddleia Sat 11-May-13 20:58:09

These songs are long, aren't they?

Stevie Wonder is quite tedious, inne?

I like the one wearing 80s aztec

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 20:58:30

Sorry kid- it's still very musical theatre.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:58:39

Oh this is so much better than I imagined grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:58:49

DRINK!!!

snice Sat 11-May-13 20:58:58

Sue!!! wash your mouth out dissing Stevie Wonder

JJ singing! <munches>

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 20:59:14

Ditch the theatrical twat.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 20:59:30

more soul

Is it coz I is white?

Danny neck slam <drinks>

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 20:59:51

Far too musical theatre darling!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 20:59:56

Will.he.is PISSED OFF with the other judges for not going along with the Village People dress-up theme.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 20:59:58

I have necked 2 bottles of lager in a stupidly short space of time.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:00:09

Tom Cruise with shoes???

Somebody's been watching too much Sound of Music, and fashioned their outfits from a pair of old curtains.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:00:34

Is Jessie high?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:00:46

Huh?

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:00:50

WTF

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:00:56

Whaaaaat??

They are all having a larf?

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 21:01:00

I agree with Jessie for once -really??

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:01:07

really?

Love it.

Now he expects Jessie to play lap dog and use her steal.

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:01:11

What is Wills strategy again?

Is this how it works? They pick the wrong one?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:01:30

Have they reversed the rules? I'm confused.

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:01:46

"I've shown nothing so far"

He's right there.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:02:06

Risky Business where Tom slides along in his socks.
Bit worried I'm understanding Will now.

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 21:02:10

Like a puppet on a string......

Is Jordan deliberately not noticing that by picking him Will-He-Won't-He has essentially said 'there's no way the others would have picked you'

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:02:39

Well done Jessie. Good doggie.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:02:42

Oh,I get it. NONE of them want to win. OR Jessie has paid them all to sabotage their groups cos she is desperate to win...

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:02:46

Is WIll some kind of leather-clad Macchiavelli?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:02:49

What the actual!!??

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:02:49

Why would he want to get him stolen? What? I'm really confused. If he thought he was good wouldn't he keep him?

Poor Holly WillyBooby desperately flogging the new rules there.

Jesse is playing with that persons emotions like a bitch <kill her>

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:03:20

Jessie's pretty.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:03:32

If none of the others would want Jordan why try to save him at all? Nonsense.

Jessie wants to win. With a man. Or a shit group.
I could see her doing a Dullisa/Lidl Muffins

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:03:57

Holly Willybooby needs to justify her salary.

snice Sat 11-May-13 21:04:25

oh god
are they going to squish all the rejects into a boy band <brain explodes>

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:04:30

Yy Sue- she gives not a shit about the women anymore, the just wants a winner.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:04:31

Do you know what this is like? NUMBERWANG.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:04:40

Now what??

Does Jessie have to ditch one??

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:04:45

Tom needs to stop reminding us he won last year. Old whatsherface didnt exactly have a career in singing.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:05:08

yy Snice- even the girlsgrin

Now then snice. And Lo! Wand Erection was born, remember?
Would you deny the world that pleasure again?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:05:27

What did she say about elvis?

Her from Loaded Hollyoaks issit?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:06:01

It's the dead one from Hollyoaks

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:06:07

Who is this person? Is she already famous?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:06:31

DH fancies Dido, wtf?

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 21:06:43

Is Danny going to pick the best or the one he fancies?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:07:14

Ooh look fake tears.

Danny's found a FWEND with benefits

DRINK

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:07:28

Look at Danny going for the awkward hug

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:07:31

Danny groping <drinks>

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:07:47

Is that holyoaks woman off key?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:07:54

Alice is basically ruining the song, more like.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:07:59

Dont like Alice <glares>

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:08:08

He's like Gollum

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:08:34

She's flat. Then sharp. But never on the note. It's a talent.

She was flatter than Dido, Soupy. And that's flatter than a flatbread in Norfolk, under a steamroller.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:08:50

C;mon Andrea!

snice Sat 11-May-13 21:08:57

I've not been paying attention

the rules have changed

Jessie's got hair again

dont understand <cries>

Andreas voice is gorgeous

What a blah song

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:09:55

My god this is boring. Fucking Dido

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:10:03

Well the one who isn't blonde is clearly a better singer.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:10:18

Tell the crowd to stfu, I cant hear.

Alice is totally Jane McDonald with blonde hair and bambi legs

Why is LegsMcGee putting on the accent?

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:10:40

She sounded shite in that clip of her audition yet still Danny turned round.

TBH neither is sounding good here

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:10:48

But the song is dull.

Dodos stellar career is a mystery. Like Keira knightley's.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:10:55

Alice is singing down her nose
Andrea sounds very nervous.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:10:59

Why is Hollyoaker doing a Nadine Girls LAoud accent?

S'not much of a fight, is it?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:11:13

Not a lot of bouncing around in this one. Are they worried the blind girl might hit the ropes?

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:11:31

That wasn't great

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:11:44

(did I say that out loud?)

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:11:53

I still don't know who Danny is.

I think I said this last year but I can't remember.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:11:58

Right- this is meant to be about the VOICE- not whose legs are longest, or hair is the blondest<glares at Danny>

Oh, Boff. How COULD you?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:12:03

Or Bambis legs might snap.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:12:35

shockgrin Bof <norty>

Yeah jj, shallow as a puddle

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:12:41

I couldn't care less who he picks

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:12:42

Andreas mums going to have a stroke shock

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:12:58

Good boy, Danny.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:13:02

Yay

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:13:02

Woohoooooo

That's not the feeling he trusts. It's the little Dodgem in his skinny pants that drives him.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:13:11

Blimey. I suppose he thought Alice will shag him anyway.

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 21:13:36

Surly no one will want her

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:13:43

'Alice is now available'
just leave it at that Reggie.

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:13:59

I felt sure he was going to go with Bambi.

Awkward again
grin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:14:05

Whahaha

So can they only steal one each?

Raah grin

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 21:14:21

Mm Alice has now left the building

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:14:33

I genuinely thought Danny might go in for a snog there

grin raahh

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:14:57

Danny whispers

You'll ALWAYS be able to get a free ride on my dodgem, love

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:15:03

Auntie Philomena will be so proud.

Do they get one steal a night then?
Or one more tomorrow each?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:15:23

Sorry, that should of course have read: roide

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:15:54

oh its the bgt drop out

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:16:08

Oh no. It'sJessie. It's all about Jessie, and her shouty lot.

This one will be loud. <sticks cheese inears , like Renee in 'allo 'allo'>

<sings>
riode on..... see you

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:16:23

Moon head?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:16:24

Sarah Brightman?? <confused>

Wrap dress!

<drinks>

Terrible wrap dress!

<drinks more>

JJ's lot are a bunch of shrieky madams

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:16:56

Ah that household name, Moonhead

Diction!
<drinks>

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:17:31

Just come into the battle. Not surprised the last lass didn't get stolen.

Ooh lovely, some tears and emotion. Love some tears.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:17:37

....and Pea!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:17:38

If you were true JessieJ fans, you'd know Moonhead.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:17:51

I'm sure that scots lass teaches Zumba on a mon evening near me

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:17:58

Damn it we forgot to put crying on the list. And feeling the emotion.
Is it too early for the journey?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:18:03

I see a polyester sparkly tunic

<drinks>

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:18:11

They are female, apparently.

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:18:15

Let the shrieking commence!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:18:37

Tassels!!!

In what sense is she 'vintage'? zigackly?
I dressed like her in the 90s. Is that vintage now?

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:18:42

Full on fringing

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:18:48

Did the women's wardrobe for tonight come from new look?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:18:50

back to back oh dear

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:19:05

Hazel-i am proud not to be even a fake Jessie fan.grin

Tune??? Where is the tune?

Was clutching pearls heart strings on the list?

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:19:17

Dear oh dear

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:19:21

Air grab

<drinks>

What be this song by the way?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:19:21

Did we have wholly extraneous notes sung, on the list?

She dresses like Sarah Brightman too
ALW is at home, rubbing his trousers.

Jins Sat 11-May-13 21:19:30

I'm not enjoying this battle at all

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:19:31

Bad.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:19:33

Jessie looks pained. She looked at S'Toma as if to say 'shiiiiiit'

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:19:37

this is baaaad

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:19:54

This is awful. In a beyonce warbling off key kind of way.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:19:56

Yikes.

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:19:58

My cat is bushing up at the TV, such is the screechy mess of noise

Stomping!

Did we have growling? Let's add growling, for tomorrow

<nicks cheese from Raahh>

ZolaBuddleia Sat 11-May-13 21:20:10

That vintagey one sings like the Swedish Chef, someone's surgically removed her consonants.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:20:13

Ooh another air grab

<drinks>

nancy75 Sat 11-May-13 21:20:14

Both crap, the scotish one has a look of kat slater about her

Dearie me!

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:20:29

Christ what a horrible noise.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:20:31

MAKE IT STOP

Jins Sat 11-May-13 21:20:32

Ouch. My ears are bleeding

Wha' wa' tha' 'bou DICTION, Jessie? Wha' di' ya say?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:20:40

Hazel -'melismas' - they are. I learnt that last year.grin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:20:43

I hate katie perry but shes sounding pretty good right now

Noooooooooooooo

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:20:46

Yes, JJ. We too are thinking WTAF ?

It's awful!!!

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:20:51

oh god my wine glass just broke from all the screeching

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:20:58

She's got to stop that with the hands or I'm going to run out of prosseco.

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 11-May-13 21:21:01

YIKES!

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:21:09

Vintage Lass. Not the screechy Scottish one.

Dogs all over the country are howling in return

chickensaladagain Sat 11-May-13 21:21:15

Omg they were awful

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:21:19

Are they, Raah? The extra notes?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:21:36

Fresh?

Really???

Fresh!
<drinks>

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:21:53

Ditch both?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:22:04

bad liar jj

Jins Sat 11-May-13 21:22:08

Jessie has no idea. No idea why she turned

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:22:09

Oh, ffs- you have to pick one. They ain't changing the rules for you, lassie.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:22:11

Yeah she has 'no idea' how the hell they ended up in her team

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:22:11

Jj doesn't know because they were both crap

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:22:22

Scottish has sung her lippie off.

MrsBertMacklin Sat 11-May-13 21:22:23

Well, they both sounded like they have sand in their vaginas. Awful.

Yes yes! Ditch both!

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:22:33

90s isn't allowed to be vintage <cries>

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:22:43

Right seriously. That's not a wig Jessie is wearing. HOW DID HER HAIR GROW BACK?

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:22:53

JJ is looking old tonight

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:23:04

Sue are you making this up just to drink?

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:23:10

Oh god, they picked the squeakiest
.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:23:15

yy Hazel- they are. I like to throw it into conversation, when discussing mariah Carey or Whitney. As you do.grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:23:25

Well, they both sounded like they have sand in their vaginas. Awful.

Crying grin

Snort at MrsBert

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:23:40

It's recorded... JJ hasn't had her hair cut off yet.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:23:43

This was recorded before the head shave.
She wore wigs a lot of the time anyhoo.

Fresh was SO on the list, it was.
And I'm only drinking lime and soda grin

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:24:11

I just read that comment to dh and laughed so hard I couldn't speak

No respect to Jessie J - really?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:24:52

DREADFUL.

keep in touch.

Yeah right. Like Gary Barlow has with the nutter from X factor.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:24:56

one note- that they can stretch for aaaaaaageeeeeeesssssssssss

Maybe picking a one-note song wasn't the best plan, then?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:25:23

Get ready, cos she's comin' atcha. Cleo I mean.

Jins Sat 11-May-13 21:25:26

Here we go

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:25:27

Cleopatra. Coming at ya.

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:25:37

Better open a new bottle for this one...

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:25:43

Well this is going to be an interesting one...

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:25:46

Nu-Tarna.

They were scary.

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:26:01

oh god help us

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:26:08

Gonna need more cheese....

COMIN ATCHA
Unfortunately.
And the gobby pair of pseudo-sassers. Oh good.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:26:17

I'm thinking.... Toilet break

Is she wearing a Kylie jumpsuit?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:26:55

Did Cleo get styling tips from Rylan?

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:27:00

Sorry why is there a duo?

FIGHT! Excellent

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:27:05

Cleo is channelling MischaB.
And Nu Tarna are like 2/3 of Stooshe.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:27:17

And who are the duo?

Scary eyes

<douBle>

Jins Sat 11-May-13 21:27:27

I hope they all lose this round

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:27:32

It's a feast for ears and eyes...

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 21:27:51

Argh. This is painful. Is it the rose or the singing making me a bit sick ?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:27:52

nu tarna are going to bitch themselves out of the competition

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:27:54

Oh. My. God.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:28:00

Not just any Pseudo-Sassers, Sue

But Spiritual Psuedo-Sassers.

(hard to type/say)

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:28:05

I think I prefer Cleo slightly over the other two. But they will be stalky- and Bill.je.suis is only little.

I'm so EDGY and different. I will dye my hair primary colours and wear hats. NOBODY else will do that, that is how different I am.
Oh, wait...

Scary scary ladies...

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:28:35

Are nu tarna famous?

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 21:28:37

BrilliAnt if they could say nah, actually.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:28:51

Was this her actual song?

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:29:06

Oh god they are AWFUL.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:29:14

Ooh the duo aren't as good as Cleo

Normal cheese is not enough to repel the duo. I need Stilton.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:29:23

Chub - no. Only in their heads. They have attitude and can't sing

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:29:23

Stomp. Stompty stopmty stomp.

Nooooo, Chubb
She Came Atcha.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:29:30

What's that deodorant for beautiful underarms again?

DICKSHUN

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:29:48

Her with the hat reminds me of Sheridan Smith from Two Pints Of Lager grin

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:30:01

Cleo can at least sing.

The others really are pterodactyls.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:30:13

Good solid cheddar is required - dairylea doesn't work.

Did JJ just put her fingers in her ears grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:30:35

Poiunty, necksnakey stomp.

And the hands.

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 21:30:45

Argh argh make Nu Tarna stop, please make them stop please please please

JJ is putting her fingers in her ears grin

Is this the new hair thing now? Cockatoo?

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:31:02

There was some definite finger-in-ear action.

Finally, it's finished!

Finally....it's finished grin

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:31:22

Definitely - both here and on tv

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:31:22

nu tarna have no class

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:31:31

OOh, and the glares from Will!

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:31:37

Shoot them.

MrsBertMacklin Sat 11-May-13 21:31:37

I can never hear this song without thinking of Terence Stamp & Guy Pearce miming to it in Priscilla Queen of The Desert.

The female Kid 'N' Play are odious twats.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:31:40

Cleopatra is a cow!

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:31:47

Lol JJ s spot on.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:31:52

They should all form a band- the MoHo MoFos

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:32:00

I think Cleo was a lot classier. The other 2 were spoiling for a fight.

They were very shouty.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:32:32

Do you think Will will beg anyone to steal NuTArna?

Cleopatra will go through, she's been on the telly today
Which is a shame. The Pseudo-Sassers would have been good telly.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:32:47

I'm with Will.he.won't.he

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:32:55

Love that Will does not piss about, pretending he doesn't know who to choose.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:33:05

I think Nu Tarna cold be really big in Japan

So they need to go to Japan, pretty soon

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:33:06

Hahaha to SWWA.

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:33:13

Well thank goodness for that. I just hope now no one steals the shrieks.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 11-May-13 21:33:14

Ok, now she's more humble

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:33:20

That was ace. Cleo not gracious.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:33:21

No-one will steal the Shouty sisters.

Arf, Japan.

Arf at noel

Shall we have a whip round?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:33:47

What flashed up on the subtitles there? WHat did blue cockatoo say?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:34:02

tom's face grin

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:34:07

Yes that was more human. I meant before when she said something like "I don't feel there was anyone else up here" or wherever.

No one will want then. Tee hee

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:34:13

Tom likes shouty women <panics>

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:34:22

Ooh I missed subtitles

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:34:23

Phew.

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:34:25

HAAAAA!!! Off to Japan with you Sassers.

Missed it Hazel

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:34:37

Nobody wants to steal them. Whoodathunkit?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:35:38

ash'll win this one

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:35:41

Cleo needs to stop the faux american accent
<drinks>

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:35:42

To be fair, it would need to be a biggish stage

nenevomito Sat 11-May-13 21:35:53

Well no shock here.

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:36:00

Paisley guy. Oh dear

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:36:01

Madwoman alert!!!!

BRILLIANT! Neil from the Young Ones with the psycho Fiancee

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:36:05

Who is that mental woman?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:36:15

The last battle. Shame.

Oh no- it's the really mad girlfriendshock

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:36:17

Timotei Man

Jesse looks like the dad from Young Dracula. <down with the kids>

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:36:27

I hope someone has the psycho girlfriend nailed down

FIANCEE

Don't be calling her no girlfriend. She hunt you DOWN

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:37:14

Dp you think Ash will be in a,wrap dress?

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 11-May-13 21:37:16

Ooooh Will really didn't like them, did he?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:37:24

Jesus went blonde, he would look just like the dickhead from Eight Simple Rules.

My Stacey grin

He's been brain washed by his scary fiancee to mention her at every opportunity...

Canihavesomemore Sat 11-May-13 21:38:09

Argh the hair!

Will?

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:38:13

st John's ambulance on stand by

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:38:19

He has a fiancee- lest we have not heard it mentioned 6 times before.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:38:28

So Ash, how o feel about going head to head with Jesus Christ Our Saviour?

MrsBertMacklin Sat 11-May-13 21:38:35

Ooof, Stacey's bingo wings.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:38:45

A Welsher!
A Welsher for Tom?

(or did he steal already?)

No he ISN'T wearing a cut off waistcoat and shorty top. No

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:38:50

grin at wrap dress

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:39:06

With a straightjacket hopefully, wolf.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:39:10

Breasts vs.Nostrils

The one with long hair reminds me of Edward from the League of Gentlemen... Don't worry Tubbs, they won't get far...

Ash has come as this season's DFS star buy

Ooh goosebumps..

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 11-May-13 21:39:33

David Spade!

Yes. Spadeface Jesus.

Edward grin

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:39:50

Don't smile at him Jessie mad Stacey will spark you out.

magentastardust Sat 11-May-13 21:39:54

He is wearing a mix of Velma and Fred from Scooby doo's wardrobe!

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:39:57

I really like this song. Usually.

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:39:57

French paisley Stockholm syndrome guy is better

Why has Jesus got dressed as Bilbo Baggins?

Psycho Fiancee just wet her seat

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:40:27

I prefer the baby jesus.

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:40:34

Jesus to win

Barf at fiancee. The other bloke is masses better.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:40:45

YY to Spadey Jesus.

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:41:08

Someone turn Jessie's mike off.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:41:25

Magenta grin

I want him to stay, just so we can keep calling him SpadeFace Jesus

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:41:36

Yep Jesus with the mad fiancée to win- if nothing else Jessie afraid what would do to her

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:42:06

grin at velma and fred.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:42:41

They are scared of the fiancee.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:42:41

Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert. Fwend Alert.

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:42:48

love will

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:43:03

Mad Stacey will kill her shock

Zat make Stacey Mary Magdalene?

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:43:34

grinYes sue

snice Sat 11-May-13 21:43:55

is Reggie wearing his school pe top?

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:43:59

Jessie does look absolutely beautiful tonight. Then she talks.

Who will steal Jesus?

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:44:14

Stand by with the taser

Moomoomee Sat 11-May-13 21:44:21

RIP JJ

Jessie J, the J stands for JUDAS

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:44:33

yay!!

But danny will steal Adam for his fwend- or psycho Stacey will eat him.

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:44:34

Call security!

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:44:50

Sue grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:45:01

They both seem really nice.
Even nicer after the previous biatchery.

Wolfcub Sat 11-May-13 21:45:17

omg that woman should have thought about a cardigan

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:45:21

Ah, the safety of the judges has prevailed <phew>

FWEEEEENNNNND

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:45:43

S'Toma hasn't a clue what is going on. As usual. grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:46:02

No fwend sad

Nerfmother Sat 11-May-13 21:46:04

What? What am I missing? Stealing Adam?

SoupDragon Sat 11-May-13 21:46:09

A good match

He's a cocky little spadefacedpinchsnoutedmessiah, inne?

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:46:13

poor Dannysad

Aaaaaaargh

No Fwend for Danny sad

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:46:47

And the fact that your psycho fiance screamed TOMMMMMMM at you 5 secs earlier

stiffstink Sat 11-May-13 21:46:54

It does actually say in The Bible that Mary Magdalene had a pierced lip.

"And she didst have an iron lip and loveth'd SpadeFace Jesus".

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:46:58

spadefacedpinchsnoutedmessiah

it's not as snappy as Nanfucker, but i like itgrin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:47:23

Did you see Jessie playing nice to Mad Mary Magdalen?
She was scared I tell ya.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:47:29

He is a cocky little spadefacedpinchsnoutedmessiahwithafiancedidhementionhehasafiance - isn't he? All of a sudden.... hmm

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:47:54

And God decreed she should weareth a shrug

BOF Sat 11-May-13 21:47:55

Ooh, tomorrow!

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:48:05

ooh- it's back tomorrow everyone!!

So there must be 3 more rounds but only two judges have got steals left?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:48:34

And lo, a plague of new wigs did rain down unto Jessie.

stiffstink grin

And she did beget him and he was verily grateful, for no other maiden had been able to o'erlook the nose on his very face.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:48:56

spadefacedpinchsnoutedmessiahwithafiancedidhementionhehasafiance

ooooh- i like that one too!grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:48:56

That actually went faster than I thought it would grin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 21:49:06

Laters taters x

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:49:07

Yes, Scone.
Wow, do you think that the last steal will be saved to the last round?

Do you think, Hazel? Gosh. I wonder.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:49:55

members of S'Toms team will mysteriously go missing, mark my words....

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:49:55

Could someone tell me who won please? Toddler inconveniently cried.

TwoFourSixOhOne Sat 11-May-13 21:49:58

Poor Danny sad
A little lonely tear appeared, so it did.

<strokes chin>

Hmm. Mr will.he.ever.make.a.decision.or.won't.he?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:50:38

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ANNOUNCE (PUBLICLY) THAT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY, YOU SHOULD JOIN US ON THE APPRENTICE THREAD, 'TIS VERY SIMILAR TO THIS ONE: LESS SINGING BUT MORE MAKEUP, SURPRISINGLY.

(end of announcement)

In a way, Chubb, we all lost tonight

You drumming up business, Hazel?
Surralun would be proud.

Raahh Sat 11-May-13 21:51:37

grin @Hazel

And possibly more shouting of "what a tosser" Hazel.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:51:47

chub, big boy won the round, but Danny and Stoma both buzzed for Jesus*. He chose Tom.

*sounds like a new cult.

NoelHeadbands Sat 11-May-13 21:52:16

I have to record Prentice this time on account of me having to go to bed ridiculously early during the week <tuts at job>

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:52:31

Lol at stoma

I'm buzzed for Jesus. Whoop! Heck, yeah.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:52:35

Y Y Sue.
I started out on market stall (like Sirrallan), and I will sell anything. I'm a salesman. I'll sell anything!

Chubfuddler Sat 11-May-13 21:53:29

I'm now watching how to win Eurovision.

Wolef fleeces? Waving cats in Chinatown?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 11-May-13 21:55:35

I'd dress a waving cat in a mini wolef fleece, and they would fly out the door. If I had a door. But I'm on a market stall, so unfortunately I don't.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 11-May-13 21:56:03

Have disgraced myself by making snidely comments out loud with MIL because I couldn't get on here.

Good job it wasn't X Factor - would be harder to explain shouting Fuck Off Nanfucker than it was to explain psycho girlfriend

Arf. See you all tomorrow.
When was the Mizzy Lezzer gig again, Boff? grin

cocolepew Sat 11-May-13 22:11:48

Oh yes, good luck BOF

Checking in for tonight...

Chubfuddler Sun 12-May-13 17:34:42

Is it on tonight? Excellent.

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 18:02:57

Evening all smile

What time are we convening tonight?

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 12-May-13 18:18:42

It's on at 7pm. SEVEN PM. They keep us on our toes with their crazy scheduling, don't they?

Round two of the knockout rounds, the lineup is as follows:

Team Tom
Elise Evans v Cherelle Basquine
- All About Tonight by Pixie Lott

Team Will
CJ Edwards v Leah McFall
- Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

Leanne Jarvis v Barbara & Carla
- Hero by Mariah Carey

Team Jessie
Nate James v Lovelle Hill
- No Air by Chris Brown and Jordan Sparks

De’Vide v Danny County
- Best I Ever Had by Drake

Team Danny
Smith & Jones v Conor Scott
- Some Nights by fun

It's only Will and Danny who have a steal (or a fwend-grab) left.

Not bloody Hero by Mariah Carey?

<gets cheeseboard ready for the ears>

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 18:31:15

DD's have just had quickest bath EVER.

What if they don't fancy 'stealing' anyone?hmm

NoelHeadbands Sun 12-May-13 18:35:39

Sod arse and bugger I forgot.

DH has just said "we'll tape it then". Idiot. Does he not realise that the correct response would have been

"That's ok. I'll make packed lunches, iron uniforms, get DS bathed and bedded and miss the programme, whilst you fanny about on the Internet with some other loons"

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 18:39:12

Noel- good thing you mentioned lunches...

<hurries off to check dates on yoghurts>

Wolfcub Sun 12-May-13 19:01:01

evening all

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:01:35

Is this opera ladies?

Wolfcub Sun 12-May-13 19:02:24

oh no a mariah song

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:02:44

my internet connection seems to hate The Voice.

I don't see how they can put the opera 2 with a power ballad type. It's going to be scary.

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:03:00

Oh. My. Word.

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:03:25

Very unfair- as the Mariah shit will clearly suit Leanne better.

BOF Sun 12-May-13 19:03:36

This sounds like a bag of cats.

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:04:38

Bag of cats being hit with a bat.

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:05:19

I loathe this song.

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:06:06

oh.dear.

Why put yourself through this?

None of them have hit the tune yet.

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:06:09

DD is rolling around the sofa in hysterics.

Wolfcub Sun 12-May-13 19:06:12

pants

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:06:45

This is woeful

BOF Sun 12-May-13 19:06:51

Wtf is that skirt? My bingo card wasn't expecting that.

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:07:33

Poor Barbara and Carlasad

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 12-May-13 19:07:40

Bag of cats with sore throats being hit with a bat.

Wolfcub Sun 12-May-13 19:07:51

for once I agree with JJ

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 12-May-13 19:08:20

Do you think the opera ladies really pissed off Bill.he.avenges ?

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Sun 12-May-13 19:08:36

I agree with jessie. Terrible song choice. Not fair on any of them.

BOF Sun 12-May-13 19:09:13

It must be great to be able to just buy awesome hair.

Raahh Sun 12-May-13 19:09:25

But, but but- they didn't really get the melody, did they?sad

Leanne has pink hair. And is far from original.

cocolepew Sun 12-May-13 19:10:00

Haha I was just thinking the same thing about hair