No thread yet? Apprentice tonight!!

(666 Posts)
Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 17:49:25

Anyone going to watch?

JeanBillie Tue 07-May-13 18:01:25

I'll be watching grin

Let's see which candidate will trump last year's most ridiculous claim: "my first word wasn't mummy, it was MONEY"!

PseudoBadger Tue 07-May-13 18:03:55

I've seen a reviewer describe it as 'most enjoyable opening episode in years'. I can't watch but will iplayer it on the way to work tomorrow.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 18:26:37

Well that's good to hear PB!

CrowsLanding Tue 07-May-13 18:29:49

Ooh ooh ooh I didn't know it was on! Thank you Tee thanks

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 18:39:15

Tonight and tomorrow Crows, 9pm.

rubystiles Tue 07-May-13 18:54:49

I'll be watching, just love the arrogance of the candidates!!
"Who loves me? I love me" grin

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 19:36:05

My theory is that the peraon with the biggest boast is the candidate who gets the chop

Do do do do DO dodo do

I'm in. Mning TWICE a week in shite telly season.

XBenedict Tue 07-May-13 20:11:02

I'm in. I listened to an advert for it on the radio this this morning - they sound hideous! Yay! grin

Ooh, hello everyone, I'm in!

I agree, it's always the gobbiest 'I am the next Alan Sugar, I made my first cool mill at 6 years old....yadda....yadda' <you're fired!> emoticon

whilewildeisonmine Tue 07-May-13 20:14:49

Thanks for this- I didn't realise it is on tonight. Highlight of my year smile

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Tue 07-May-13 20:18:49

I've been looking forward to it grin I was hoping you'd start a thread Tee!

flossy101 Tue 07-May-13 20:20:17

I love the apprentice!

The year Stella English won I said in the first episode she would be the winner, I've regretted not putting a bet on ever since.

Can't wait!

FacebookWanker Tue 07-May-13 20:22:26

I'm in. I love the intros.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 20:24:03

MyHead you must be a name change! grin

I can't wait! I daren't put anything else on to watch at the moment as I want to watch it without any delay. (Dd had best go to bed promptly!)

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Tue 07-May-13 20:53:42

Tee - it's me Chip - will be back in a sec in my day wear grin

Why was your head in the sand? And why now not?

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 20:59:03

Here we go!

Hi Chip! grin

Jellykat Tue 07-May-13 21:00:14

Can i join you laydees?

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:00:29

Here we go...

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:00:54

I don't know how sock puppets do it, changing names is a fucking faff & a half!!

Hi Jelly smile

Napolean was a twat too

Ooh I'm watching.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:01:20

I'm in love already. With all of them.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:01:24

Do you think they ask them to say the wankies thing they can think of??

I take inspiration from napoleon! What you mean you are going to be totally exiled to Elba?

Napoleon? The short arsed bloke whooped at Waterloo?

I want to know which half of her is machine.

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:01:52

Two wankers contestants in and my heart has sunk.

Napoleon? Jessica Rabbit?


They are all horrendous <sighs happily>

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:02:08

Whoop Whoop!
Here we go.
Am as excited as a very excited thing. I am 110% excited.

Some STONKING eyebrows already this year. And thats just Surrallun

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:02:56

People are hungry for this dill ?

Are they having smoked salmon? How perfectly lovely.

Does the one man have no eyelashes? Or is it just that his eyebrows are so startling?

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:03:10

Lets have a bet on whether any of them will listen to the rules of the first challenge.

Will any of them remember basic arithmetic?

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:03:11

Hello! I'm so happy!

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:03:12

Effortless superiority???

love the way Surralun says utterly banal things with some emphasis.

I believe. That DAY. Follows night <pause for applause>


NishiNoUsagi Tue 07-May-13 21:03:48

I'm cringing already at all of them grin

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:04:02

hazel myself, I'm going to give 115%, myself.

I love eyebrows man already. The chinless wonder grin

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:04:09

The trailer on radio 2 nearly made me crash the car. I AM HALF MACHINE!!!

And then they get punted at a supermarket till and crumble. Hilarious.

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:04:25

The man with no eyelashes looks like Joey in Friends when he plucked his eyebrows grin

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:04:34

grin Sue

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:04:43

Looking remarkably groomed for midnight, I'd be looking half dead!

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:04:43

Eyebrows much?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:04:48

Bugger. Out maths-ed already.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:04:57

Are they all botoxed?

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:05:07

Goodness some have very bushy eyebrows and some are HD to perfection - scary!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:05:07

OMG there's two with eyebrows!

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:05:15
KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:05:35

She is bringing back purple eye shaddow baby

flossy101 Tue 07-May-13 21:05:35

Her eyeshadow is abit much

Am I behind you all?

Piffpaffpoff Tue 07-May-13 21:05:42

I'm in!

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:05:50

haha at x posts

I have a small girl crush on the lady that looks like Mrs Spoon from button moon. The one with the hepburn up-do and the pearls.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:05:53

I think they eyebrows are spectacular all the way around...

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:05:53

But we love the clichés!

Lorelilee Tue 07-May-13 21:05:58

I'm in - bring on the eejits!

grin scone. Seriously those eyebrows, perhaps they hypnotise people.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:06:10

I already like the hipster one with the glasses.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:06:22

i like Miles..grin

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:06:35

A unique online estate agency?

I like the posho. How is he a posho called Jason? I smell fraud.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:07:07

OMG Unibrow!

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:07:12

One that tells the truth perhaps Dillytante?

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:07:24

How old is Miles?

YY Dilly. Like Rightmove.
Oh, wait...

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:07:26

Hurray - they are all cunts!

My username is suddenly apt...

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:07:35

Folks, I think we have our first nickname.

Beehive rebecca slater is henceforth, Mrs Spoon. Or MrsSpoon.

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:07:37

Ooooh loving it so far enjoying the power lipstick already

Lorelilee Tue 07-May-13 21:07:38

BAD lilac eyeshadow.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:07:46

Karrin is very tan!

Quite like Jason too.

Eyebrows also has a mouth like a fish.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:08:04

Wow, jumped right in there. I like her. She'll be fired.

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:08:04

It's a shame it's not live. I'm opposite Tilbury!!!!

<bangs up sturdy shutters>

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:08:07

Lol at Mrs Spoon!

Loving the sideways looks

hereshecomesnowsayingyoniyoni Tue 07-May-13 21:08:25

Good at motivating people
Annoying more like

The Jessica Rabbit one looks like one of them eye-eye bush babies. The face is almost 90% watery eye.
Like Puss in Boots when he wants his way grin

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:08:38

MORONS the whole lot. Karen is clearly thinking WTF.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:08:41

Twats the lot of 'em!

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:08:50

Miles is 39.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:08:58

Jason has a weird bobby head thing going on

The old traditional selling on tat start.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:09:08

Someone must write these for them!

hereshecomesnowsayingyoniyoni Tue 07-May-13 21:09:16

Their already annoying the hell out of me

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:09:31

Ancient for this show, Hazel.

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:09:43

Ha posho will balls ha

She'll be out

Do you see it too, Hazel? I know the hair isnt Mrs Spoony.

Jessica Rabbit is sounding like La Menlove.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:09:52

I'm only bossy if I'm right.

I've never seen so many personally disorders in one place.

Don't like bossy lady too much yet.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:10:12

Dracula! Ha!

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:10:14

Oi, Alex.
This is not The Voice. Tom Jones is not going pick you for your welshity.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:10:18

Peewee Herman more like

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:10:24

I like the girls team leader

Dracula! Freddie Mercury! pmsl

Freddie Mercury? WTF?
Freddie Mercury drawn in crayon on a toilet wall praps

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:10:39

I can be Miles older woman! (i'll teach him!)

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:10:39

Doesn't know what alchemy means...


Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:10:53

Dracula is apt!

Never gone down the docks?
Chinny reckon

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:11:08

Freddie mercury on a toilet wall


Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:11:10

Is it just the filming style or are the girls basically carbon copies of each other?

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:11:15

I'm from Wales - WTF is with those eyebrows??????????????????

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:11:33

Death cage match! New on the Apprentice!

I've never been down to the docks before?! Who has unless they work there! Duh.....

NishiNoUsagi Tue 07-May-13 21:11:37

I quite like Jaz, clearly her self-awareness was removed to make room for the machine parts.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:11:43

Sue you are making me spurt wine

Chinny reckon. FFS. I can't breathe.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:11:45

Tee, is it making good out of crap? Thats this lot then!

Ukuleles are a great seller, esp if they could tart them up a bit.

Oh, jackets. I still mourn the QVC episode.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:12:03

I do see it, Sue (re MrsSpoon). I thought it was the pearls, but have google-imaged and the bespooned one does not wear pearls.
So it must just be her general mien. Do you know, I bet that's EXACTLY the look she was going for.

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:12:11

Woman team leader is irritating me already. I am in a very bad mood.

FUCK ME what's happened to her Barnett??? She looks like Sideshow Bob!!

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:12:18

They are all horrible

<dies with happiness*

(Alchemy - the art of turning base metals into gold)

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:12:36

What do you expect~? - err to lead the team

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:12:39

Did I spot a couple of mumsnet scarves there?

<Vomits at cheeriness>

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:12:45


Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:12:53

The bleach blonde wants to punch her in the face doesn't she

Hahhhhhaaaaa at Lentilly Team Leader

I can imagine her leading a cpd day and encouraging tantric breathing. I would have to lock her in the supply cupboard.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:12:59

Alchemy has been done before?

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:13:05

Is one of the men wearing red lippy?!

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:13:08

I'm late to the thread. And to the fucking programme. They boys are watching fucking fishing.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:13:13

Gold from base metals, but yeah, it fits!

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:13:30

exactly scone...grin they should call it the alchemist!

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:13:31

Oh my

Cat litter- why???

I am getting a whiff of John Simm from Neil...

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:13:54

Lipliner alert! Ooh a container full of shit great,sorry can't concentrate someones eye brows are distracting me

I KNOW Hazel. Shes nothing like Mrs Spoon. And yet...

Its the neck. Swan-like/plastic bottle. Its a thin line.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:14:31

TSS - I was thinking more Crunchy The Clown grin

That Welsh boyo has to go, I cannot watch that weird set of eyebrows.

Is she a dr dr? Or a phd dr?

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:14:34

See I'd stand outside Canary Wharf station with the water and flog it at a quid a bottle.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:14:41

These leads they ring up must be set up for them. I hang up on dozens of water cooler salesmen every day.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:14:53

Bloody hell. You'll never guess what the Aye-Aye/Eyes/Jessica one has.......

A cupcake shop. Yes indeedy.

Go for the ukuleles! Bloody water and cat litter?

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:14:59

Oh Fuck, another Norn Iron wan...we're not all like this ladies

We're off to button moon....

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:15:04

in my glee of their awfulness I've managed to miss the task.

do they have to sell everythinb or chose the stuff?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:15:18

She's a tough spoon. She's like a bloody masher!

Mrs Spoon was never that rude. Not even to Egbert

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:15:46

Sideshow Bob is getting on my tits

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:15:51

REally, toffee?
Cos Norn'Iron Jim.... I still would.

15 flaming quid?

YY Hazel. Cherry Menlove, innit?

Cupcake shop ffs. As if people cluttering up farmers markets wasnt enough

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:16:13

Did they not have a wholesale price list?

How do they know how much to price it at?

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:16:16

Oooh yes... Neil is John Simm!

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:16:35

No idea what the task is. I don't think they have.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:16:55

What's with the manic page flicking?

Oh god, it's the eyebrows in conjunction with the red tie . I am properly freaked out.

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:17:07

Welshman has a bit of a Freddie Mercury look when he's in profile.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:17:11

Alex seems like his face seems a wee bit stretched..

Jellykat Tue 07-May-13 21:17:11

Bloody phone call, so missed the crux of the matter here..

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:17:12

Alex looks like someone else (other than Freddie and Dracula). But I can't quite figure out who yet.

I think he shades those brows in

Getting a bit fixated on welsh chaps brows!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:17:29

Dracula is an angry bird

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:17:39

Neil is quite good looking until he opens his gob

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:17:43

His name will be forever more be Eyebrows

sparkle101 Tue 07-May-13 21:17:57

He looks like frank sidebottom!!!

I think he is a bit Shrekesque

Oh look. Its Oceans 3 3/4

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:18:15

Honestly, I can't get past Boyos eyebrows.... he has to go.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:18:34

Who the fuck would pay £12 for a plastic cat?

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:18:35

Hazel he's all over Belfast. I might be able to hook you up...

I agree about selling the water for a quid each somewhere.

sue I am properly guffawing! He is The Count!

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:18:50

Noooo, keep Count Shrek in for entertainment!

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:19:03

I would!...Miles i mean!

Jellykat Tue 07-May-13 21:19:03

Those cats shock tasteful!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:19:12

How are you going to buy batteries? With your good looks?

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:19:19

Posh looking older bloke is moderately hot. But doesn't seem

Batteries - I suggest pound land. There may not be one in canary wharf.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:19:19

Who is the 3/4, Sue?

Vait. I am on zee Prentice. I cannot count further.
Ah ah ahhhhhh

Lorelilee Tue 07-May-13 21:19:31

Freddie's face is oddly compelling though...

The hair has a life of it's own

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:19:34

Batteries? What a knobber? He didn't need to do that, the guy had them at £3.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:19:55

Better ware sell cats like that.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:20:02

Miles seems to normal.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:20:02

Oh, please do, Tee.
Have given up on Tom.

Posho open shirty man is quite nice, but knows it. And is a knob.

Oh dear. Schoolgirl error.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:20:36

think the cats are japanese, good luck or something

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:20:44

Stacey Solomon is doing well here...

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:21:02

Oh look the girls are having a pointless scrap. GET THE FUCK ON SITH IT.

Do you know the figures? DO YOU?

It looks like Ms Plastic is wearing the MN scarf...

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:21:28

I wouldn't give you 3p for a waving fecking cat.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:21:34

The Dr is vair pretty.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:21:41

Aimless wandering - that always works

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:21:41

Annoying pitched voice

Tee hee moon. That will confuse them!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:21:49

What is she a doctor of? Make up?

I want a waving cat. But not for £6

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:21:52

No offence, you're a doctor confused

I don't like NornIronGirl's voice - it's very harsh

There are multiple MN scarves!

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:22:25

scone i was thinking that!!

Them union jack mugs grin. All hail the red, blurred orange and blue!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:22:30

There's kissing...

TwllBach Tue 07-May-13 21:22:42

<finds spiritual home>

Oh already with the bitching - you're only a doctor my arse.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:22:52

And failure

I have a Zara scarf like that in green!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:23:08

Stop singing...

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:23:17


They sold something!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:23:26

Christ, her eyes!

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:23:28

The one who squeaks has to go!

Dr looks like her from Neighbours. You know. In the 90s. Used to use dark lipliner.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:23:35

fuck, they all do...wearing mumsnet scarves i mean!

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:23:44

I'm doing the lucky cat wave too!

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:23:49

Actually my beef with the apprentice is these crappy tasks are nothing like business. It's like fencing stolen goods. It's cruddy and a bit shit.

His teeth match his shirt

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:24:00

Why do the girls team always fucking flirt with customers?

Dear god. They are sitting in a car park.

The Apprentice really is all about glamour.

TwllBach Tue 07-May-13 21:24:24

Ohh nick isn't impressed


Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:24:30

I don't believe the battery crap shock

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:24:31

Leftover toilet roll - sounds appealing!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:24:41

I totally agree with you chubb.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:24:48

Leftover toilet roll...leftover from what?

Is he wearing the jacket? roar

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:24:59

Purveyors of tat

Fantastic. Now that's a good team name

Anyone hazzard any guesses at the winner? I like to make the occasional snap judgement!

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:25:10

There isn't a single attractive woman. Odd.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:25:10

Aww Chub, but Miles is gorguss!

Why cat litter, why?

<<crawls into thread dead late>>


Jellykat Tue 07-May-13 21:25:25

Oops oh well, one less cat to sell lads..

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:25:25

Look, I hate to the one to say it, but the one in the blue coat looks like a Gorg. from Fraggle Rock.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:25:52

Agree Chub.

Chaos! <falls on chaos>

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:26:05

They all look vaguely familiar. Every year. Why is that?

Awwwww cats.

Cat hating John Simm

Cue fake 'we luffs cats'

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:26:39

Miles to win....only because i fancy him!

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:26:48

Interesting Drag Queen in there.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:26:50

tee they are all made in a special twat factory.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:27:01


Karrin does not look impressed.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:27:04

I can't keep up.

feck know who's who but the one with the bonkers eye make up looks bonkers (and I'm an eyeliner fan)

That is one low-flying beard

8quid is retail isn't it?

There's a factory producing homogeneous eejits somewhere, TeeThinhg.

Hello. Bit late. I am cringeing already.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:27:24

£8 for that size bag?? We pay less than that for way more at our pet shop!

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:27:39

That cat is a hipster cat. He's rolling in a grannyish, crotcheted blanket.
The minx.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:27:46

I quite fancy a bit of Miles too... well, out of that bunch.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:28:05

Fight, fight, fight!

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:28:11

it's falling apart already

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:28:12

Ooh, look. Talk of cats, and Sparkling appears!!!

Napoleon is cross.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:28:13

Short man shouting time!

Missed the first 19 muns, can anyone fill me in on the uberpersonalities?

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:28:17

OMG first day and they're taking each other apart!

I want to put them on the naughty step. And sadly that is not a euphemism,

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:28:41

Coals to Newcastle, no?

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:28:41

Husband and I are trying to figure out who the Old Man looks like.

I was about to say Chinatown earlier. And laughed to myself. They would not be that stupid...

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:29:11

Chaos - just call them twat one, twat two, twat three...

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:29:20

Sophie seems reasonable normal

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:29:25

Shouty spotty tie is a real git isn't he.

Nat quite polite.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:30:10

Sophie patronising much?

Sideshow Roberta wants to watch that wind. A stiff breeze and shes gone

Cheers, succinct there, YAABOB.


Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:30:23

Yeah, that they've bought for 2p each from China.

I want a wavy cat.

Genius! Sell lucky cats to the shop selling Lucky Cats because they definitely won't have a supplier..

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:30:53

ok take that back about Sophie, who was the one who actually sold the cats

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:31:07

I am liking tim

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:31:08

Get down to Chinatwon, Sparkling. Ten a penny there.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:31:26

Oh bless, hi viz guy v excited

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:31:33

I have a wavy cat!
It's a maneki-neko in Japanese. So he's called Neko.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:31:44

Can you play 'Catch Up' on a ukulele, do you think?

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:31:45

Who the hell are you going to sell yukuleles to? I have no idea how to spell that...

It was Sophie who sold the cats? I thought she was Natalie!

Tim looks like Dermot O'Leary after a bar fight.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:32:18

George Formby tribute band?

lisbapalea Tue 07-May-13 21:32:19

Am watching on a delay so am half an hour behind you. Based on the opening credits I hate every single one of them especially that fecking Jessica Rabbit twit. Not sure I will be able to survive the series. It's only the comments on these threads that keeps me interested - "witness the shitness" from last year still makes me laugh.

Ukuleles very fashionable at the moment.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:32:30

No it was Natalie. She stomped all over Sophie.

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:32:49

Here you all are.
I'm not so keen on the first few weeks, there's always too many for me to keep track of

I've seen the silver fox bloke somewhere before, can't be bothered googling him though.

Why have all the girls got so much slap on?

whoop whoop mrs spoon

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:33:22

Sophie didn't sell cats, tried to, it was the one with her. is that Natalie?

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:33:30


Ohhhh dear. Ms Sideshow is in TRUBLE

Ahhhh. Can't believe I'm confused already!

directoroflegacy Tue 07-May-13 21:34:07

That older lovely one looks like that swimmer - Mark somebody?

KenDoddsDadsDog Tue 07-May-13 21:34:08

Helloooooo just rushed back off a flight to Belfast!! All I can see so far are MN scarves grin

Steffanoid Tue 07-May-13 21:34:13

a fast food entrepreneur - does that mean he works at McDonald's? haha

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 21:34:15

This program is awash on a sea of twatishness.

How do these people even live in teh real world?

Yes, men called Tim are generally alright. I don't know why, or what the female equivalent is.


Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:34:32

Who is going to do the post-show summary?

With all the correct names and personalities (as the names we have to use for the rest of the series).

Because I could do with some help confused. They are all morphing into one unidentifiable mass.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:34:35

Ooh beautiful sun!

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:34:47

The women are embarrassing aren't they? Their desperation to scramble over each others still twitching corpses whilst being utterly thick themselves - ugh

If one of them called me "girls" I'd lamp them.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:35:02

Feedback - erm....

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:35:08

RedPencils don't try to keep up (I don't) just embrace the madness!! grin

She wants feedback?!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:35:14

They always do, Maryz. I can never keep track until the very end!

Pmsl at the guess who

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:35:37

Ohyoubadbad, I was confused ages ago, you are in good company so!

I always keep track, Marysaid, but it's early days
Most nicknames don't show themselves until the true twattiness emerges

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:35:51

Count Count's brows are even worse better from the side.

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:35:55

Can't believe how badly they diss each other in front of customers.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:36:13

Miles!! xx (did i mention that i think he will win?? grin

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:36:20

Oh, good.

I feel better. I thought you all knew what you were talking about [deluded]

Arf at that was my name
Smacks of I did the poster

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:37:00

She only asked for feedback in the car, so she had evidence to use against them when they slag her off in the boardroom.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:37:00

No clue, Maryz. Unless they have something unique like Jazz's hair.

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:37:13

Lord shug is looking slimmer

Miles is nice to look at, but he does have insanely white teeth. Not clear how knobbish he is yet.

TwllBach Tue 07-May-13 21:37:15

Sideshow Bob Lady is everything people hate about teachers, all rolled up in one tidy bundle.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:37:27

Louisa would be good as z bejazzeler (sp?)

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:37:39

blonde in animal print blouse in the front row is Stella English's twin!

Got those knives out already. Silly girls, should take a couple of tasks to assess each other and make alliances.

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:38:08

I wank a ukulele

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:38:27

I shall just follow Sue around pleading for clarification ...

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:38:31

SideShow Bobby is the only one who doesn't now look a bag'o'shite, and still has energy.

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:38:41

WANT!! blush

JESUS, Neil is being eaten by a horde of black ants. Look at them, crawling up his neck

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:38:45

They never learn, the shouty ones never win.
Usually it's someone I haven't noticed till week 10.

Has The Count got lipstick on?!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:39:01

He really does look like Dracula...

gaggiagirl Tue 07-May-13 21:39:15

Jeez the brows!

TwllBach Tue 07-May-13 21:39:19

It's a cat... <waves arm>

<dies laughing>

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:39:22

Even Karen is telling the boys off

They are AWFUL

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:39:29

Oooooh ouch shock

Even more bitchy than usual (they men I mean)

So naive, the lot of them. Slowly slowly catchee monkey.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 07-May-13 21:39:30

Just marking my place, as I was watching it rather than looking for a thread.
I'll know better next week.
I love the sheer awfulness of all the candidates.

Fuck me, I'm going to see that face in my nightmares

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:39:38

Err, it is a competition!

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:39:41

Jason looks a bit like Mark Ronson. I proffer Trumpets as his name. No need to remember it tho, he'll be offski v v soon...

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:39:43

How does one wank a ukalale or however the fack its spelt

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:39:45

Holy shit! Wtf with Dracula!

Miles. I love that it's Miles. I would have accepted Jonty.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:40:19

Maryz no one has any idea who anyone is but they are all HORRIBLE PEOPLE

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:40:27

It's usually the women who are like this!

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:40:44

What's the silver fox's name? I know him from somewhere.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 21:40:44

The Dracula guy is possibly Rylans Dad???

I so love being able to bitch share my feelings on the bunch of gobshites

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:40:47

i like yer mans tie though...the yellow and black tie!

PenelopePortrait Tue 07-May-13 21:41:15

He looks like grandpa from The Munsters! Poor bugger

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:41:22

And... Leopard print, for the boardroom?? REally?

Oh dear.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:41:36

Just barely beat them. Jazz is gone.

They may have won, but they haven't a chin between them

Will it be Caff O'Shame? Will it?

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:41:59

Arrrghh... shut the fuck up!

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:42:06

Stop stop stop!

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:42:06


Steffanoid Tue 07-May-13 21:42:07

there really are some amazing brows going on, I LOVE the squabbling that happens so quickly, Ha he totally got that blokes name wrong, im a few mins behind cause needed emergency apprentice snacks grin

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:42:07


shut up

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:42:20

Silver Fox is Myles Mordaunt. He does marketing/PR-y stuff. Lots of it in relation to F1.

Come on The Bridge...

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:42:37

he looks like bear grills except without the survival bit

musu Tue 07-May-13 21:42:44

Is Miles the silver haired Mark Foster lookalike? Apparently he went to my local grammar school. Must have been a while ago.

sparkle101 Tue 07-May-13 21:43:02

Why why why would you do that?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:43:05

OOh, nice pad. Much nicer than KAth Jenkin's old gaff.

It's very shiny.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:43:12

I could live there!

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:43:18


qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:43:25

And now out come the claws!! (with the greasy spoon) I love greasy spoons cafes, why do they not have bacon butties?)

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:43:25

I hate glass balustrades.

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:43:30

They won't be a team for long.


musu Tue 07-May-13 21:43:36

The house has been on tv before. There was a would be model programme that used it several years ago.

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:43:37

I am behind 5 min too.

He is like Dracula.

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:44:16

Who's the one who keeps saying Ya?

All those nude heels. Just waiting for a Daily Fail sadface story

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:44:33

Oh yes... that house WAS in the make me a model thing.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:44:42

That house looks too nice for them

I'd like a bacon buttie.

No Jazz, it doens't You'll live to bore the tits off someone at an education conference another day

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 07-May-13 21:45:13

Has anybody actually met people like this in Real Life?

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:45:13

I qonder if they are carrying some lucky cats in those cases as some of them are going to need them

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:45:23

I'm going to need a reference sheet, with real names and their names here. problem is I can't recall either at mo

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:45:24

I could happily eat a bacon roll right now!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:45:26

As I say every year, I think the PM should be automatically fired. Because that's what would happen in the real world.

And Lord Sugar should appoint the PM.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 21:45:42

This guy looks like this guy

....maybe not grin

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:45:44

"We're off to Button Moon..."

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:46:03

I think Jazz will stay! I like her!

I worked with guys like that in a well known insurance company. People like that exist.

Was it Kimberley? In Neighbours?
Lived in Lou's house. Lots of make up

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:47:17

Love "do you think I was sitting down humming a tune?"

iiiiiiiiii that is spooky

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:47:29

I'm sorry, but that doctor is getting on my tits

Steffanoid Tue 07-May-13 21:47:34

the word strategy is back, last series it was the most used word, I think some of tge boys team were avoiding the champagne so that they have the edge incase theres a midnight task and the others are hungover

She's like the Bride of Wildenstein (sp?)

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:47:51

yep also worked in an insurance company and encountered these sort!

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:47:52

Mega bitch fight every week with this lot I guess.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:48:32

Wait, where the girl with the big hair come from?!?!

thenightsky Tue 07-May-13 21:48:42

Which on is the doctor?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:48:43

I thought Uzma looked like a FraggleGorg earlier. Now I think she looks like that ubiquitous singer (scottish, olympics...), no idea how I've forgetten her name.

Yup. Worked in a financial sector and met quite a few.

PenelopePortrait Tue 07-May-13 21:48:49

God these women are very annoying.

Oh dear. Jessica Rabbit is going to talk herself out of a job

This lot are a bit snotty.

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:49:02

I want dr to stay, purely to hear more of why she is on it

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:49:10

God, Natalie looks old close up

Emeli Sande?

Emelieieie Sande. The shy retiring type that she is

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:49:43

big hair with loads of eye make up? She hugged a yellow pages in the car mostly

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:49:45

Talk to the hand!!

Jaz is talking to them as if they are twelve.

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:49:50

Sharpen those claws girls. Any cat litter left?

Oh my god it's a bitch-fest already

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:49:52

yes, Emeli Sande! Ta Chaos.

KitKatShoes Tue 07-May-13 21:49:59

Nick looks like he needs a shit

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:50:03

These people are utterly ghastly. I'd sack the fucking lot. It's unedifying.

Doctor looks like she wants to be Tamara Beckwith (NOT a good thing...)

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:50:21

She's so patronising.

KenDoddsDadsDog Tue 07-May-13 21:50:40

One of them looks like Peter Andre (tm loves his kids) girlfriend

Nick always looks like he needs a shit. Except on countdown.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:50:56

The Northern Irish one

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:50:58

There is no way that a cats' home would buy a shedload of cat litter of unknown quality/provenance, from a bunch of numpties.
And surely they can get cat litter for free, as a donation/sponsorship type thing?

grin kitkat

PlentyOfFreeTime Tue 07-May-13 21:51:03

Has anybody actually met people like this in Real Life?

You took the words out of my mouth. I've never met anyone like that in 37 working years.

I cannot understand the Dr. She talks too quickly and mumbles.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:51:04

Uzma is Rita Orla isn't she?

Baiji Tue 07-May-13 21:51:09

Annelise from neighbours - that's the dr one.

marciaoverstrand Tue 07-May-13 21:51:38

Was Uzma in White Chicks?

Poundland Rita Ora grin

What logistics did she do?

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:52:14

I love how they pick on one thing mentioned in the discussion then it becomes all about that. Cat litter.

Jellykat Tue 07-May-13 21:52:24

Jaz to go, she sold fuck all..

makingdoo Tue 07-May-13 21:52:35

The Doctor - Leah is the friend of a friend. She's lovely apparently.

Loving this already!

musu Tue 07-May-13 21:52:39

I reckon Tim is the Stuart Baggs of this year's Apprentice.

ANNELIESE, thank you. Not Kimberley. Why did I think Kimberley?


Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:52:48

She did logistical logistics darling

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:52:48

Dahling. She's a business woman.

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:52:49

Does he ever sack all three of them [hopeful]?

It would be much more fun

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:53:03

I've met loads of these types before. Although not usually so inept and back stabbing IRL.

Fight fight fight!!!!

There is lot of high maintenance beach hair on the women's team this year.

Jaz is like a woman who has been on every Children's program produced ever?

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:53:22

I like Jazz, i hope she gets through!

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:53:24

Backseat driver Neil

Jazz is annoying!

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:53:38

Ooh that would be great, Maryz!

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:53:40

Isn't Kimberly her real name?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:53:40

Kimberley someone played Annaleise, I think

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:53:42

was kimberly the actress?

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 21:53:57

Sorry I'm on a delay!

YY, Jaz looks like she should be preachifying and boring the tits off toddlers in the Cbeebies bedime story.

There's a lot of teeth whitening too Scone!

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:54:06

You like jazz? Seriously?

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:54:14

Leah has a promising career, with a long slog of education behind her. Okay she might have a way to go yet, but what a waste of her degree and medical career to throw it away on this.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:54:24

Oh dear, Jaz

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:54:24

Jaz is gone.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:54:27

Sack the lot

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:54:28

Bye jazz.

Aw Man grin

Sack the lot of 'em.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:55:39

Oh man - I'm not man, I'm LORD SUGAR grin

Ahhhh, PLAYED by Kimberley. I am a trivia genius.

RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:55:56

I don't bother learning their names at this stage, there's too many of them.

Think it will be the Pm for being too shouty and calling him 'man'

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:56:00



Maryz Tue 07-May-13 21:56:06



YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:56:12

Was never going to end well, was it?

That was quick!

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 21:56:14

I wish they would pick more normal people - ones that haven't been picked just so they make good telly.

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:56:22

Ha ha ha

She was deeply annoying

Bye Jazz. What you need is a nice sing and sign franchise <helpful>

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:56:30

Aww, and Sideshow Bob was such a good nickname.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 07-May-13 21:56:31

I thought that about the cat litter Hazel.
I'm sure they get cat litter given to them in abundance, being one of the biggest animal charities in the country.
I'm not a businesswoman though, clearly.

Wha'? With teh hugging and the kissing and the hgging?

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 21:56:45

Normal people wouldn't lower themselves to public humiliation

I'm out tomorrow sad

We were right, sideshow's gone.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:56:53

Jaz should go

Sign and sing grin. I thought baby massage

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:57:09

Jaz's business idea was all to do with teaching phonics, which is quite sweet.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:57:13

The Count's white trousers are not good

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:57:18

You're not amazing

Or phenomenal

But the bitching that now ensues is unedifying.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 21:57:21

Aww well! Does that mean (with my judgement that Miles will go next week?)

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:57:31

Good call for once

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:57:36

Who were the quite ones? They usually do well

Is Boyo a cross between David Walliams and George Osbourne?

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 21:58:12

How mortifying to be the first one off.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 21:58:17

Hope they don't get an early call.
It is going to be acrylics at dawn as they fight for the mirror, to trowel on their slap.

Silly shit grin

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 21:58:30

Doesn't lord sugar think oh fuck they are all numpties.

And it's beer, my favourite subject ( nearly)

Tee2072 Tue 07-May-13 21:58:54

Another one tomorrow! See you here then!!!

I have to go to bed. Night!

musu Tue 07-May-13 21:58:55

Why is it on two nights in a row?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 21:59:00

And now for Dara on BBC2

That was a hideous over reaction from one of the women. It is the first task they don't even know each other yet! It was like Legally Blonde.

Allthingspretty Tue 07-May-13 21:59:18

So we get two episodes in one week? <rubs hands>

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 21:59:29

Does anyone watch You're Fired at this stage? I'm not invested enough to care.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 21:59:29

flavoured beer?


RedPencils Tue 07-May-13 21:59:45

'You silly shit'. grin
This is my new favourite insult.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:00:13

I will, I like dara (have a crush)

Steffanoid Tue 07-May-13 22:00:20

thank goodness the teacher went! couldn't have coped with more of her, the next episode looks brill!

Dillytante Tue 07-May-13 22:00:45

Right, back to testing for skewdness & kurtosis for me (no, I don't understand either!)

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:00:48

He must look at them all on the first day and think "fuck, I'm going to have to employ one of these".

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:01:02

me neither Dilly.

Glittertwins Tue 07-May-13 22:01:04

I have nightmares about being persuaded to try Kriek Cerise beer, horrible stuff!

I love Dara

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:01:13

Tee - you have to watch Dara!!

I'll do Dara. It's always good at the early stages.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:01:29

One tomorrow? Am confused. See y'all then, then.
For now, I ma of course on bbc2, with the lovely Dara.

Get him. Mr Languid Lunger

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:02:05


YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 22:02:09

I do love Dara

I will do a lunge


It's one a week from next week on.

Cooo, she's dropped some weight

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:03:17

Well its either bitchin kitchen, or Dara...ok so! BBC 2

She looks really nice tonight

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:04:02

Blimey! They always looks so amazing/different on the Dara show.

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:04:38

I can't watch Your're Fired on the ipad, for some reason.

I think it is because its live MaryZ

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:05:49

I'd do Dara any day grin

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:06:05

And I have loved Dara for years. Long before you lot even knew he existed.

EduCated Tue 07-May-13 22:06:13

Has anybody actually met people like this in Real Life?

I've actually met one of them in RL wink

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:06:39

I liked her because she was real, ye know, no extensions, eyelashes nails etc..
She was real!

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:06:55

Scone, I can watch bbc 1 almost live on a FilmOn app, but I can't find BBC2.


YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 22:07:16

The Brad Pitt of teacher training?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:07:28

Isn't Dara still about 23, but mysteriously looking like 653784785t234y59?

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:07:45

Oh, I've got it. Yippee. But I think I'm a bit behind.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:07:54

It's Myles, isn't it Edu?

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:07:54

Me and all Edu, nice person actually x

CleanYourBloodyTeeth Tue 07-May-13 22:08:22

I have also met one of them in RL and they are really very nice. Not at all as they seem on this

<pulls Hazel's hair> don't be mean about Dara. He is my secret sex god.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:08:35

Edu you know you can't leave it there...

NAMES or it didn't happen <fierce and lungey>

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:09:01

Daras about 40, he's catching up with himself

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:09:16

I remember Our Dara when he was in RTE Maryz.......[GRIN}

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:09:50

Come on - you have to say which one you have met guys!!

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:10:06

I have rude dreams about Dara. Can't stop them.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:10:21

Oh, Scone, I am not being mean. He would be done.

But I've been lusting after him on this thread for a couple of years, and he seems to be late 30's, but looking MUCH much older. But no less doable, you understand.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:10:57

You DO have to say who you've met.
It's actually in the rules.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 07-May-13 22:11:06

They always come across so much nicer on Dara's show.

Hazel, you have the oddest taste in men. From Tom to Dara?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:12:30

Yes. Tom, Dara, Norn Iron Jim. All Apprenticy people I have lusted over.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 22:12:34

Luisa is a fucking nightmare.

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:13:19

He is over 40 - I know because he's older than my brother.

I just love him.

Leah is the NI one.

I know one of them.

We all fancied NI Jim for one episode, when he twinkled at us all blue.
Then we saw him for the creepy patronising fecker underneath

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:14:37

You see, I have forgotten the radgey Jim, and I am left with lovely twinkly memories.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:14:57

Maryzzzzzz - who????

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:15:01

I never fancied Jim - he was horrible shock

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:15:16

Dara is 41 according to wiki

Wasn't he quite buff?

DontWannaBeOuted Tue 07-May-13 22:16:01

Name Changed - I have met Jaz. She was nice

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:16:06

I know none of them, but if you do you MUST tell

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:16:19

I can't take to Luisa either, but its early days! nope, trying

Oh feck off with your clapping. Plenty of people flogging phonics aids already.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:16:31

I bet Jaz was nice! She seems nice.

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:17:48

is it spelt Luisa? is that normal? isn't it said Louisa?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:17:53

Was Jim buff? yes.
There was that task. A baker's? There were biceps.
Er, and a bit of bossy shouting, so we saw him at his best and his worst.

She does seem nice, so it's good she's out
I like the meanies.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:18:19

And of the person i met, that person was lovely and very charming!

YES Jim buff Not Dara grin

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:19:15

Sue we were just saying that, hardly revolutionary is it??

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:19:23

Dontwanna - she does seem nice - that's probably why she's fired.

woopsidaisy Tue 07-May-13 22:19:35

Myles was in Mr Woopsies class in school.
In his opinion Myles is a bell end who has under achieved. DH doesn't buy into any of that "promotions" malarkey that Myles seems to do.
DH turned 40 this year.

Nice guys don't do well (Tom excepted)

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 07-May-13 22:19:56

I love Dara, but then an Irish accent does it for me every time.
I watched a documentary about Dave Allen last night, and I swear he was the perfect man.

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:20:07

Jazz is lovely x

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 22:20:39

I reckon I could put the clips together for this programme

YY Chipping. And it's not as if she was doing it and planning on feeding the hungry with the profits, presumably (not Surralun anyway).

Maryz Tue 07-May-13 22:21:39

Oh, Dave Allen <drools>

(in a kind of cringy embarrassed way)

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:22:15

Lady, i loved the way he'd have his fag, and he had lost one finger, and his whiskey beside him!

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:24:41

so who do we fancy?

it's an important consideration of who is to stay in

That's me done. Tomorrow night then <rubs trousers>

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 22:27:37

Is dara really only 40? God he doesn't look good for his age

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:28:06

Moln..i MAY have mentioned this once or twice...but Miles is my favourite to win!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 07-May-13 22:28:27

I will have to leg it home from Fat Class tomorrow to see it. Will someone do me a twat summary at about ten past nine?

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:29:39

Jaz could not give less of a shit, could she? I like her even more.

Did she just go on as a dare?

Chub - we turn the lights off...

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 07-May-13 22:30:04

Until tomorrow then, peeps!

See you tomorrow..

Chubfuddler Tue 07-May-13 22:31:16

I fancy myles obviously

I think Natalie will win

Moln Tue 07-May-13 22:32:19

choosing from the website I'm going with Jordan, Kurt or Neil. However seeing I can't recall what they were actually like so what their voices were like I'm going to have to hold off till tomorrow to chose which I fancy wnough to keep in

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:35:49

Chub, i saw first! smile
Moln, me neither! Which means that one of those will win anyway..!

EduCated Tue 07-May-13 22:37:06

Ah, saying could well out me blush

But arriba and all that <missed actual episode, so this reference may mean absolutely nothing>

EduCated Tue 07-May-13 22:38:33

Oh why didn't I NC? That would have made so much sense. Will PM if people are that desperate to know!

woopsidaisy Tue 07-May-13 22:43:46

Should point out that DH thinks anyone on 'reality shows' and about 80% of the rest of the population are bell ends.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Tue 07-May-13 22:55:06

Woops grin

Edu - yes, I am that nosey interested, PM please! With all the details smile

qualitytoffee Tue 07-May-13 22:55:52

woops, he has a point! smile
May i just say that the person that i saw doesn't work for Sugarman, but it gave that person a platform?
That person hasn't been heard of since.
Reality TV shows exist because we love it! But it gives good ratings, and as such, they'll continue.

I know who you mean tim what's he like?

MardyBra Tue 07-May-13 23:16:20

Late to the thread. I liked Jazz. She was the only woman I thought I could be friends with. The rest were too shrill and botoxed. Ok, maybe her motivational stuff might have annoyed me a bit.

Anyway I reckon she's a MNer. pm me if you are Jaz grin

twitchycurtains Tue 07-May-13 23:24:04

Very late to the thread, however, just came on to say, that I normally bypass the Apprentice but was mesmerised by Uzma's makeup, I swear I haven't seen make up that bad on a fellow asian woman since the 90's, good lord, does she have friends? or a mirror, the woman owns a cosmetics company. The fake blonde hair, coloured contacts, very pale foundation, I couldn't stop staring at her the whole way through.

Jazz was a bit annoying manager who wants to be your friend but who'll shank you in an instant the minute you cross her, she deserved to be fired as she was basically shit.

Lipliner sales woman, has a mean streak I can see her crossing paths with some of the other women, especially the stacey solomon sounding one who sold all the water.

Why oh why do they pick the same type of female constestants every year?, they seem to spend most of the episode arguing and doing "you caah" stares at each other for the smallest of slights.

GW297 Wed 08-May-13 00:11:28

I disliked Jaz. Glad she's gone.

Andcake Wed 08-May-13 08:37:07

Must admit I disliked jaz too. Motivational bollocks and no substance. That pseudo tilt of head look I'm a nice person I'm in a caring profession and I think I'm brilliant.
Love the apprentice never really like any of the candidates I just have the issue of trying to hear it as DP rants at the telly.
Yes the make up is crazy I would love to know what all the women are like together behind the scenes.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 08-May-13 08:54:03

Didn't see the whole thing but DD (15) was cackling at Jaz all the way through - so many 'teacherisms' were coming out! And the patronising 'well dones!' as if she was talking to four year olds.
Even her dress on Dara's show was a teacher dress, apparently - although she did acknowledge it was nice.
(Disclaimer: the views expressed above are those of the poster's 15 yo DD, not necessarily those of the poster).

I agree the amount of make up and tortuously high heels on display is tiresome. And the men seem to have started the backstabbing early this year.

bruffin Wed 08-May-13 08:55:56

DS 17 Jaz was just like those people who come into school to give them talks (not sure what on confused). He didnt like her at all, he was texting to gf at the time and she said the same.

bruffin Wed 08-May-13 08:56:50

crossposted Shotgun grin

Tee2072 Wed 08-May-13 09:20:11

I have just counted and will be in California for the final!! You all had better give me a second by second account when that happens!!!

Chip staying up to watch this is a late night for me, no way can I watch Dara! As much as I love him

senua Wed 08-May-13 09:55:51

I think that Myles looks a bit like Richard E Grant.

OhLori Wed 08-May-13 10:55:41

Sorry to spoil the Apprentice party but I thought it was boring! Also, soooo much swearing, shit-this and bloody-that, even by Sugar.

Tee2072 Wed 08-May-13 10:56:47

Then don't watch it Lori...

OhLori Wed 08-May-13 11:15:47

I was just trying it out, thanks!

Missed a tirck there, TeeThing.

Then don't fucking watch it.


"I thought it was shit. So I watched the whole programme and then posted on a thread full of people who enjoyed it."