The voice- the final auditions. It's 'pure and simple', judges, you need to be ' making your mind up'

(535 Posts)
Raahh Sat 04-May-13 12:52:10

Fred title in ref to the return of jay from Buck's Fizz, and Danny from popstars, hear'say.

Bet neither get through!

Oh ver good. You could be writing Sun headlines with a talent like that.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 12:57:09

But let's face it, we're all more interested in the next instalment of 'scousers I have 'known' by Bofgrin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 12:57:40

The sun

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 12:58:15

I'd need to fit 'romp' in there somewheregrin

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 13:20:51

Ohh Jay with the square head? Interesting.

YY Boffles. Any more of Liverpool's finest have had a boffing? I thought these threads were good when it was just shag-backs to filthy West-Shoiters and unfunny comedians. This is even better. I have high hopes of The Apprentice threads too

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 13:34:54

I flit in and out of the Apprentice. In the absence of anything else worth watching, I may give it a go this year. I think I got really into it the year the blonde woman won- the one who has just lost a case against Lord Sugar.
Couldn't get into the one after that.

Is anyone searching for a Jesus/Maria/Toto, this year? We need to fill the gap between the Voice and X Factorgrin

It's another case of the thread beating the programme innit? Hazel 'Prentices. And Boff. And others. Just to show we can bitch about other things than singing.
Are you on my FB Raah? Did you see that Mackem Jesus is in the RHPS now with the fatfaced one from Strickley? And Rhydian? grin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 13:45:24

Just marking place in the hope that I'm allowed to watch tonight.

I've been watching on catchup midweek as the kids have decided to stick with BGT and there also seems to be rugby every Saturday.

I am determined to do The Apprentice properly this year. I usually start half way in and have no idea why you lot hate certain people confused

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 13:46:49

Blimey you lot are keen! I've still got lunch and dinner to get through til I can indulge my naughty fairground fantasies! grin

YY Marysaid, you need to be in at the birth in order to get the nicknames right. Also there are always three that ALL look a bit like whichever Muppet we name them after, leading to confusion that can never be resolved if you join late.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 13:50:18

Sue -no I don't think sogrin
I liked Baby Jesus best.

I liked Rhydian. He was robbed. grin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 13:53:16

Exactly. I never sorted the women out at all last year (or was it the year before?).

Would you mind giving me a quick translation into English of the sentence " Did you see that Mackem Jesus is in the RHPS now with the fatfaced one from Strickley?". grin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 13:53:48

Although I have now seen a picture of him in leopard print speedos, and feel a bit queasygrin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 13:53:57

And what time is wine o'clock?

<gazes hopefully at watch>

But of course.

All of the Jesusus (in the last reality telly find a star thing they did Jesus Christ Superstar) had names. Fat Thor Jesus, Simba Jesus, Mackem Jesus, Baby Jesus, ummmm - and more. He is now doing 'Brad' in the touring version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. His opposite lady, Janet, is to be played by Dani Fameho (or something), a chubby faced little pixie who is inexplicably given endless vehicles on CBBC and danced in Strictly Come Dancing this year. I hate her. So much.

RedPencils Sat 04-May-13 14:04:23

You lot are keen. I've missed the thread the last couple of weeks because DS likes playing along with the app on my phone. Might have to relax the 'no iPod' during family tv time rule.

The famous ones never go through.

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 14:05:18

Oh, I never saw the Jesus one. That was ALW wasn't it? Who did Oliver and the other one?

I don't like seeing him. He reminds me of Toad of Toad Hall in a particularly gruesome cartoon I used to have nightmares about when I was little.

I know Dani. She was the reason behind ds thinking that he could leave home at the age of 7 and live in a wonderful orphanage hmm. I'm not a fan either.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 14:05:57

Is she the one who used to be Tracey Beaker?

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 14:06:30

Yup, that's her.

Keen? pah. Raah and I regularly start xf freds the Wednesday before, if we find suitably interesting sleb gossip or think of a really good pun grin.
This is really indicative of how apathetic we are about The Voice. A Saturday lunchtime thread? Meh.

Yes. As Tracey Beaker she was just irritating. Since then she's been flogging a singing career and has shoehorned herself into the lead in more cbbc programmes, as a 'grown up' Tracey, and as herself. Now there isn't a word for what I feel about her. There's a hand gesture, but you can't see me do it.

The Jesus one was a bit of a trial by sofa, Marysaid. HOURS of it every night for about ten days.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 14:11:14

[Sue]- we are slipping, clearly. grin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 14:14:08

why did I try to turn you into a link??

Danni Doo-dah also did Dance for comic relief a couple of years back, with Tiger Drew-Honey from Outnumbered. She's desperate...

I have an excuse, as I'm all flounced from MN apart from Telly freds. So I'm only here and posting on a Saturday. And now I have to take DD riding.

RedPencils Sat 04-May-13 14:16:51

I take it back, then Sue.
FFs you big bunch of slackers. Wtf have you been doing all day?

I loved popstars. It's seems so 'quaint' now, the idea that they would pre record the show and <gasp> have the judges with expertise in the industry actually pick the winners.

I know. And 'nasty' Nigel.

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 17:36:46

Old square heads brother was/is married to Marcella Detroit from Shakespeares Sister.
Random fact of the day alert.

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 17:37:31

Oh yes and I've had a name change <twirls>

from....? Or is that the point?

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 17:56:32

Damn I knew I'd be invisible sad
Its cocolepew.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 18:04:18

I loved Nasty Nigel. He was a proper judge.

And Marcella Detroit.

I will now be singing squawking 'You're History' for the next hour.

Hello Cocogrin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 18:05:36

Jay's middle name is Hilda


kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 18:06:22


kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 18:07:23

I know that made me snort.
I work with a young girl called Ethel. It just doesn't seem right hmm.

I may go and do my make up like them SS girls, in homage. Remember Claggy doing them? In a nightie?

Koko - coco. I seeeeee. And is there a Koko Kardashian? I don't follow them.

Also, and you must read this in your best Ivor the Engine voice, 'stunning singer Bronwen Lewis from the Valleys auditions in Welsh'. Look you.
S'Toma may just wake up from his 40 winks expire

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 18:16:34

No I don't think so. I'm hoping they will adopt me, I'm sick of being skint.
I'll fit right in, my arse is huge.

Some wee kids in school were convinced I was one of Shakespeares Sister, years ago, but it was Marcella. I wanted to be the Bananarama one sad

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 18:17:56

Does everyone in Wales sing ? That's lovely

That'll be nice. I'll start watching then just so I can slag you off on MN grin

kokokardashian Sat 04-May-13 18:30:10

shock unfortunately I look more like the mum in it. Apart from first thing in the morning when I look like the dad.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 18:39:12

Since S''Toma only has one space left, so are we guessing bronwyn gets it then?[ grin]

I' d love to look like marcella. I think her legs alone are taller than megrin

I may have to fashion me a mini skirt out of a tea towel, for when jay appears.

They all have only one spot left, don't they? Danny may even be full

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 19:07:33

no- Danny and S'Tom have 11, Jessie has 10, and has 9.

So it will be Will-filled week this week-and he will end up with great acts, not the dregs. just to show how heavily edited it is.

So- Bingo- throw things at tv when Jessie --breaths- says 'double denim'

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 19:20:02

Just as a matter of interest, is the last person to be auditioned fucked because they all have filled their 12, or guaranteed a place because someone has always kept one?

To make it fair, they should each get 10 picks in the shows, and then be able to go back for two extras from the rejects.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 19:28:15

It's hard to tell, really, Maryz-it's so edited, it's impossible to know how it panned out.

I think the auditions should be live. I'm not convinced by the 'blind' bit- how do we know they've not had a dozen attemptsgrin

plus they are PRIMEDgrin- no way did Danny no-mates recognise Kavana.

It matters not, Mary. They are PRIMED

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 19:29:26

x-post grin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 19:33:25

Oh, yes they are primed.

They always recognise the "famous" people grin

You are really missing a thing of joy with the Irish version though. I have to watch it with my back to it, I find it so cringeworthy.

I remember the Irish popstars - 'You're a Star',for Eurovision. I loved it so much. Did you watch it the year Mickey Harte won, Marysaid? I was working in deepest Cork and someone I worked with was related to said Mickey <snurk>. But the 'local' candidates were the gawdhelpus tone deaf twins - ciara and aoife or similar. With the most breathtaking logic ever, my colleagues decided they would vote for both Mickey AND the twins, so it'd be 'fair'. Never mind it was effectively cancelling out their phone call, bless 'em grin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 19:46:30

Oh, God, don't blush

Those Eurovision votes are cringeworthy. I mean we managed to get Dustin. And Jedward. From a country that should be able to produce some sort of music that you might like to listen to.

The Irish voice is unbelievable awful. As is the regional talent show where to win your section you have to be (a) under 5 and (b) play the fiddle hmm

RedPencils Sat 04-May-13 19:47:47

Nasty Nigel was proper nasty. Even Simon Cowell wouldn't tell one of his protégés that they're fat on camera

Jessie J will recognise the Hearsay fella, he's her era
No one will know bucks Fizz woman.

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 19:49:04

No-one ever knew Bucks Fizz women. They were just a band, never individuals.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 19:59:38

Ah,now, Maryz- 2 of my friends from school would disagreegrin
I was a Mike Nolan fan aka 'the pretty one the other worshipped Bobby Gee aka the less attractive one. She had a full length poster of him on her wardrobe door. It used to scare megrin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:00:57

i meant 1 was a Nolan fan- did nowt for me. I liked Depeche Mode, and they thought I was oddgrin

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:05:47

I would rather not remember who I liked as a teenager it definitely wasn't Donny Osmonde, the Bay City Rollers or Leo Sayer

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:07:20

evenin' all

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:08:54

I back, I kept forgetting I had name changed.
Right Im ready, have beer, have nuts.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:09:16

Ooh- here we go then.

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:09:17

Right, here goes.

I want one of those chairs for watching tv envy

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:09:35

Oh shes pretty envy

So S'Toma has a spot for Bronwen, there's lovely

Danny has one, JJ has two and Will-He-Be has three.

Place yer bets now

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:09:53

Jessie looks constipated.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:09:59

Evening all

She is very pretty
Not the best voice tho

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:10:18

Why's jj pulling constipated faces?

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:10:42

There must be thousands like her hmm


cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:11:02

I'll just say xpost now, that'll do for the rest of the night.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:11:16

eek- her high notes are painful.

That pleather is sweaty, cocolepew

Hold on. Weren't you...^^^?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:12:32

Kanye wouldn't stop texting me.

BLOODY hell, S'Toma. He'll be on the war stories next.


Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:12:46

it was just nothing special. And she's looks like she has attitude...

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:13:55

How many 'favourite songs ' does Billy.goat.gruff's mum have??

And Will-He-Shurrup having happy shag-backs for his MUM? hmm

Blimes. It's all a bit much. I think the Apprentice will be relative sanity.

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:14:02

WTF Will with his MOTHERS personal history. grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:14:33

Evening all.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:14:53

Aww, Danny all bouncy like a 2 year old who needs a wee. Bless.

Stylist, eh?
For 'The High Life'?

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:15:04

Rah one for for to STFU Wee Willy.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:15:18

Fashion stylist? For who, the Beach Boys?

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:15:24

I love this song

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:15:33

Eww, Bad.

Bad shirt.

Oooooo. Your man gave me the shivers

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:15:41

Good job they can't see this one

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:15:50

Sounds like,a tribute act

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:15:51

One of my favourite songs. Lovely.

Shame he looks like a maudlin Jamie Theakston when he sings

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:16:08

Eh?? Bill, why??

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:16:08

the gap between trews and ankles is horrific

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:16:50

He's like a twitchy Gekko.

Bad mistake Will.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:17:08

Bet billybob is hoping someone else turns.
Oops too late, hes stuck with him now.

He's giving Danno the glad eye grin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:17:19

Will is gutted

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:17:40

Do you reckon Bill E. Balls is regretting this?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:18:01

Fecking cross posts!

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:18:17

William ought to publish his own dictionary

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:18:27

'diction' JJ, you hypocrite.

I thought he was alright. Better than most. I haven't liked any of them yet, I don't think grin
I'm voting for Boff's Shame.

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:19:06

Elvis ain't that Toms line?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:19:37

Ohh bra strap fail.

Do you think she's wanted this for so long? Has she worked for this forever?

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:19:48

Where is Bof? grin

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:20:22

Now, JJ, she knows women, she does.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:20:31

woman in need of a safety pin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:20:55

Fucking Jessie. Stop burning.

She doesn't sound any better than the pretty one with the old lady jacket to me. Much breathier. Shite diction, as it happens. Why is JJ wriggling over this one?
Primed <resigned>

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:21:02

Quite like bra lady

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:21:12

Burning? gurning, I meant

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:22:16


Not NOINE years? you must want it so bad. Working for so long and all

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:22:21

17!?! She looks 30.

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:22:30

Did they all turn? So far seen Hawaiian short man and now this one

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:22:32

Blimey, she's 17? Must have had a hard life!

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:22:55

Wow I though she was way older!

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:23:00

Hmm, I was rather underwhelmed by her, tbh

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:23:25

I love wills eyes, he's like Eagleyes Action Man.

Is Bill-Je-Suis drunk? Or just very very bored, do we think?

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:23:44

She sounded a bit like a backing singer , who is this?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:23:53



YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:24:03

The first ever TV talent show? What, Opportunity Knocks?

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:24:16

Omg thought I recognised him. No one is going to turn I predict sad


cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:24:41


LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:24:44

Gosh he hasn't changed! He needs the share his anti ageing cream with the girl before him.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:24:56

lets hope she sings better than Cheryl Baker

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:25:08

Dh met Cheryl baker: he says she's alright

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:25:27

If she is 51, she looked fucking rough for 19 in Bucks Fizz as well

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:25:54

Cheryl has thinning hair, I've seen the ads.

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:25:55

Oh dear

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:25:56

Ooops, a bit late.
But here now, to try and equal Boffy's 'connection' of last week.

Mine is..... I have been CHUGGED by Danny HeearSay.
Yes, yes I have. Well, an attempted chugging, anyway.

Double breasted shiny suit and a TIE PIN
What was he thinking?

And a Spice girls number. I think not.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:26:32

Christ, this is awful

Chugged? CHUGGED? For what?

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:26:48

He wouldn't even have got on stage, if he hadn't been who his is.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:26:53

I knew it. He was shite sad

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:26:58


Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:26:59

It's a bit Darius and britney

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:27:11

I clearly need to find last week's thread and see what BoF confessed to!

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:27:21

Lol Zlist chuggers that's worse than the usual obnoxious student bunch. grin

That was umm a bit weird.

Is it time for the Darius pic? Is it?

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:27:56

YES bring on the pic

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:28:03

I'd do Darius.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:28:22

He was chugging for Amnesty that day I think.

Poor Danny, he looks so sad.
And oddly like Dominic Littlewood.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:28:24

What pic???

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:28:53

She has very flarey nostrils

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:28:55

Is this the Bucks Fizz woman?

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:28:58

Is it BoF and Darius in the pic grin

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:29:07

blush I wouldn't mind Darius too.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:29:22

I hope Danny picks her

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:29:44

Camels hoof.

She sounds very middle aged. More middle aged than she looks, oddly.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:29:52

She sounds a bit like a goat

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:30:08

I think they'd make a lovely couple

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:30:09

Bad song choice.

And terrible. Middle aged and terrible

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:30:18

this is awful

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:30:29

Oh yes that pic grin

This is awful.

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:30:30

This is awful. And so is your revolting picture Sue

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:30:40

Oh look, they were both shite. Who'd have thought it?

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:30:49

Awful. What a silly song choice

What? innocent

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:31:09

Lolol at "goat"

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:31:16

Oh god I'm cringing. Buck's Fizz was a bit before me time surely this can't be her improved?!

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:31:19

<cross> my internet went down at just the bit i wanted to watchsad

glad to see they were both pants, anyway. hasn't the foggiest....

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:31:20

Lovely picture Sue. I haven't seen that for a while.

She wasn't great.

Did she just cut off JJ?
Nuff speck

Patronised by O'Dodgems. That's gotta sting

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:32:05

Cheryl would have just done making your mind up, and had a giggle.
And they'd all have turned.

Danny hearsay was terrible. Bad song choice and bad singing. Notcheryl also made a terrible song choice. Muse? What was she thinking?

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:32:21

OMFG! sue grin

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:32:41

Ooooooh she looked gutted

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:32:50

She was the bitchy one, wasn't she?
Wasn't there some 'goss' on her, back in the day?

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:32:51

Ahh, at least my connection came back for the Darius pic which i really don't have bookmarked, oh no


ROAR at S'Toma, whose Mum had obviously drilled home 'if you can't say anything nice...'

'I like the drink that the band you used to be in was named after'

That's finding that jeffing silver lining

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:33:15

They really shouldn't allow ex famous people on, imo.

Omfg darius's penis! And a child...?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:33:35

His names what??

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 20:33:56

Mme noooooo, they absolutely should grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:34:15

Danny thinks he's going to get a friend of colour, doesn't he?

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:34:19

Why is putting on an accent though?

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:34:27

Sue- no clue who she was, poor S'Toma.

Oh no.
White hipster does Marley pain - it's like no other.
And I have to watch O'Dodgems do his poultry-inspired classic music head wobble
I'm out.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:34:42

This is just bizarre, and probably racist confused

Oh this guy is good. Not a great song choice but very talented.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:34:45

Looking forward to Will's face when he sees a white guy with red hair

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:34:53

Hazel grin

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:35:05

He's not that good IMHO

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:36:08

Do famous people get paid to humiliate themselves go on this?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:36:45

Moni has the most perfectly-aligned teef, evah.

Hoo yes, the mean streets of Essex. That'll give you soul.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:36:53

Are red trousers better, or worse than baby-shit coloured trousers? <I need to know>

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:37:39

Better than poo, worse than snot

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:37:43

I find his quite sexy I have a thing for gingers.

Posher, Raahh. They are the choice of the Boris-type

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:38:14

So Danny's lot are full now?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:38:14

I actually bought baby shit coloured trousers for DS1. It was online and they didn't SAY baby shit next to them.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:38:26

Thank you , moo grin

Has BoF fessed up to shagging any of these yet?

Danny wants a cool friend. He wants someone with the geek specs and buttoned up shirt. He wants to hang in Shoreditch and wear woolly hats in coffee shops.
Pick Danny. Pity Danny.

I want some red trousers!

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:39:41

Hipster reggae singer.

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:39:46

BoF isn't here tonight.

I feel really let down hmm. And disappointed.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:39:51

poor Danny.

S'Toma needs to hold out for Bronwen.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:39:56

He'll look like a penis when he takes his specs off though.

Maryz Sat 04-May-13 20:40:19

Oh, so they all have one left? Is that right <counts frantically on fingers>

Clever boy, going with Will He Be the only one with a credible career AND continence

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:40:32

Or with them on

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:40:59

Fancy that, that they ALL need only one act each.
What a bally coincidence!

I wll stalk Boffles on the FBs until she comes here. In her SHAME.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:41:03

BOF is probably off boffing Harry Styles or some such.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:41:09

Hahaha "I need to be more cunning" oh Danny poor Danny

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:41:58

Looking forward to Danny's cunning face

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:41:58

I bet Will is pleased getting Moni Timoney.
Of all the contestants, he has by far the most rhyming potential.

Danny Foster? Jay Aston? Nah.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:42:13

He is already trolling for support on Twitter @monitivony - using the Will hashtag #jewmaican

'more cunning', arf
More than a flat pack wardrobe, Danny? Yes, that might work.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:43:18

There's far less warbling in the original. Can't see liam doing this.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:43:23

She was good when she used words, stop with the warbling.

cunning face <weeps>

I don't like the ones that are all twatter-canny. Too much like Nanfucker and Fat Thor

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:43:47

If I was the producer I would deliberately put four shit acts on last so they were all lumbered.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:43:50

Her friends are very squeally

Just said to DH "this is an oasis song" - he thought I said "this is a racist song"... Then thought her riffy bits sounded like the call to prayer hmm

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:44:08

She looked well disappointed when Danny turned

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:44:11

oh fuck off- jessie

I liked the warbling.
No Jessie, when you do it the 'right' way, it sounds like every other mariah blah.

It IS hard, Jessie. And you can't do it. Blah.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:45:11

I thought it was going to go all Bollywood at the warbly bits.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:45:31

Sue- being twatter-canny was the death of Fat Thor's Jesus careergrin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:45:46

Gawd, Danny is such a try-hard, isn't he?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:46:04

Its Kim Ill thingy

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:46:25

ROAR at Coco!

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:46:48

I liked the warbly Bollywood bits.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:46:48

OMG don't show him the red buttons shock

I liked her. Warbly bits were nice. They were a bit like the call to prayer, similar vocal styling I suppose.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:47:09

Aww, i think i like him.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:47:10

Ooh he has a luverly voice

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:47:15

Ha. Coco.

It was, Raahh. And no less than he deserved, all that hair tossing and duck pouting

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:47:50

Coco ... omg.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:47:59

Tom'll go

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:48:32

Why does everyone sing so high nowadays?

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:48:41

Jessie's face when Tom turned would have curdled milk

I like him. Was thinking more of an All Black than Kim thingy.

Kim Jong Karaoke from Kent
I like him

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:49:04

Did'ya see Jessie's face when S'Toma turned. Oooo- cross.

grin Yes I noted JJ's face.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:49:20

impressed will can speak Tagalog

Arf at red buttons.
Come the glorious day Coco, you'll be for it

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:50:04

I love Bill.

But S'Toma- what about Bronwyn?<panics>

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 20:50:04

Will not stereotyping at all...

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:50:26

He has GOT to go with Tom. Just to piss J off

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:50:30

He's sweet.

noticed* I have PMS and jelly brain blush

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:50:51

He's been to the Philippines.

There's lovely.


Is he WELSH, Tom. Ask yourself that. Is he Welsh?

Tom Tom Tom!!!!

Will might be able to speak Tagalog but I don't think your man can.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:51:47

Haha Ive just be panicing about Bronwen, DH hasn't a clue what Im on about. He doesn't know any important news.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:51:54

Listen to yer mam

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:51:58

Tom, just to piss off Jessie!

He has a lovely arch to his eyebrows, though

His mam grin I love her!!

Oh JJ is so sour faced.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:52:26

NOOOOOOOOOOO, Tom will have a heart atack.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:52:42

Aww, Will really has got some Tagalog, hasn't he?
That is very sweet.

Onoes. JJ will have Bronwen.
And we know she hates women. Prolly Welsh ones in particular specially if they can sing

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:52:49

Nooooooooo! Poor Myfanwy/Blodwyn.
She'll be landed with the JJ. And i bet she's rubbish

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:53:46

I'll be long gone sue. I'm waiting for The Rapture.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:53:59

He has beautiful hands.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:53:59

Which band was he in, then?

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:54:03

Oh, a sob story.

Look you (it's catching)

Gareth from The Office has gone STREET. Wiv DREADS.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:54:09

I luff Will.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:54:29

I saw his band supporting JLS. I wanted to rip my ears off.

Oh he is pretty

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:55:03

He sounds too hectic and breathy

So, JJ. Technique, breathing and diction, eh?

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:55:12

He's very breathless

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:55:18

don't like it

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:55:20

grin at Sue

I think he is nervous, his hands were shaking

I quite like him. What did he say happened to him, he doesn't look that well tbh. He does sound very desperate in his voice though. Aww no one turned sad

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:55:42

I love this song. He is shit though

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 20:56:06

Oh I feel sad.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:56:13

oh dear.

Oh no his poor family sad

His band ditched him, the poor duck. In fact, I'd be asking questions about that illness. I reckon they nobbled him.

Gigondas Sat 04-May-13 20:57:15

Shame but he wasn't that good.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:57:16

See, knows his stuff.

JJ-'it sounded lovely' hey??

I hope he listens to them and comes back.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:57:18

Oh, he is really lovely. Sweet guy.

Aw sad. He looks proper gutted

I'm in tears his brother that's so sweet sad

Go have some singing lessons, dude, you'll be much better


Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:57:55

oh, the Snow patrol track in the background is one of my favourites.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:58:07

Aww look at his wee brother, bless him sad

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:58:10

Bill was spot on there

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:58:21

Welsh alert!!

Tom will spontaneously combust.

Bronwen dressed up for the occasion then
She'll be raging, raging against the pleather and the wrap dress.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:58:36

Bronwyn looks a bit angry


Poor Tom grin

Is she singing in welsh? Cool.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 20:59:15

oh dear poor Tom

Oh wow I love her.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 20:59:21

Tom to cry. Tom to cry.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 20:59:21

Oooh, she has a lovely voice.

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:59:24

Poor Tom. He'll commit Har Kari.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 20:59:28

In Welsh!!

And S'Tom's got a full housesad

Tom looks teary God love him.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 20:59:39

Tom will be offering swapsies in a minute

Danny thinks it's Gaelic. At the very least it sounds profound, so he's nodding
S'Toma is being yelled at in the earpiece 'It's WELSH, you gimmer. Wake up!'

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 20:59:44

I love Welshy Woman.

PseudoBadger Sat 04-May-13 20:59:47

It's like Bo what's her face has come back

I need to do something about her brows.

FFS if no one turns that's a crime.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:00:12

Someone turn around. IDIOTS


HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:00:23

I don't love her, she reminds me of Enya.

I went to a convent school; the ONLY music we could listen to was Enya. Or Clannad. Or hymns.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:00:28

Poor Bronwyn. sad

Jesus, S'Toma's face almost showed some emotion there. I saw a fault line.
That'll cost some to put back

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:00:39

OMG no one went? Tom is going to go homicidal

OH MY GOD!!!!! No one turned?????

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 21:00:47


YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:00:53

How the fuck did no-one turn round for that?

How could they not want her?

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 21:01:10

I liked her in Welsh but not so much in English

I like Bronwen. <very late to the party tonight>

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 21:01:30

I hate that song but her voice was lovely.

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:01:34

Can't believe that neither of them turned around.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:02:08

JJ doesn't like really talented women

Epic JJ? WTAF. I detest that woman.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:02:29

I quite like that shirt. Takes me back to my youth.

JJ don't like wimmin who sing
Will-He-Be thought she was speaking in tongues

stop with the fake hugging Jessie

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:02:53

S'Toma- gutted.

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:02:54

Basically they are too frightened to deal with talent because they have none...

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:02:56

Jessie didn't have an excuse

Tom missed a Welsh person.

Do you think someone in S'Toma's team will suffer a mysterious illness and have to drop out? The researchers must be furiously digging for visa problems and benefit stories to leak to the Sun.
Then he can offer a place to Bronwyn

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 21:03:50

I hope JJ ends up with a hairy handed trucker singing meatloaf

Nerfmother Sat 04-May-13 21:03:54

Where are e all at? I'm at the Eva Cassidy one

BOF Sat 04-May-13 21:04:00

<picks Harry's pubes out of teeth>

Poor S'Toma.

Sorry to be AWOL, I've got guests.

nancy75 Sat 04-May-13 21:04:13

I fucking hate Jessie jay cloth.

Neil from the Young Ones. He's aged well.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:04:23

Is that a cravat?

grin SueP

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:04:32

You know when someone laughs too hard at something that isn't that funny?

I die inside a little

Harry has PUBES? Bless him

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:04:41

Hehe here comes your hairy wolfcub

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:04:46

'Music defines my life'

shoot the girlfriend

what luffly hair

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:04:57

SO I don't get it.
If they have all filled up their teams, do they just send the surplus ones home?

And how do you get picked for the early weeks with more chance, vs. the last half of the last week, when people are already full?

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 21:05:05

There could be a terrible accident with a polyester wrap dress and naked flame.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:05:10

He has a very unfortunate nose

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:05:12

Has he no septum?

Tell you what, i need to know what conditioner he uses

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 21:05:22

diiiiirty voice

KinkyDorito Sat 04-May-13 21:05:22

I've wandered onto this thread after months of missing the XFactor one, and find SuePurbly is still on amazing form. I commend you. I have torn my calf muscle today and reading your comments has right cheered me up thanks.

PseudoBadger Sat 04-May-13 21:05:25

When did Kings of Leon cover this song?

Noseynoonoo Sat 04-May-13 21:05:57

He looks familiar. Was he on last year?

Oh ffs JJ you're such an arse. Fuck off!!!

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:05:59

Not a patch on Bronwen.

His GF hmm she'll bust a blood vessel.

Wtf happened to his nose?

Stfu Jessie. Snot about you.

His girlfriend, jakers.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:06:23

He has MumJean on.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:06:38

Oh put her out of her misery.

He's not great. He could be Jesus.

God JJ is a twat

BoF grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:06:41

She deserves him, pair of twats.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:06:42

Un jean. Un jean de maman.

Je suis francais.

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:06:52

Omg his GF is doing my head in

<loads shotgun>

I know, poor Bron. She'll do ok though, Tom will make sure of it.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:06:55


Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 21:06:57

ditch the psycho girlfriend

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:06:59

Oh, my goodness. Get a grip, young woman.

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:07:02

Bloody hell sme tranquilliser the GF.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:07:07

Goog God, his bloody missus!

PseudoBadger Sat 04-May-13 21:07:10

It's Russell Brand

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:07:12


Aw, Kinky, I'm sorry about your leg. Mine is all tingly, I bought an epilator.

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:07:20

I wouldn't want to deal with the girlfriend. Stalker material.

A paisley scarf?!

MmeLindor Sat 04-May-13 21:07:37

He has a funny hairline

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:07:41

His hair swishes like a beautiful afghan hound, trotting round the championship ring at Crufts.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:07:43

<passes Moo spare bullets>

He is French? Did I miss that?

BeanoNoir Sat 04-May-13 21:07:51


Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:08:11

tea not so much a paisley scarf, more a paisley curtain

cocolepew Sat 04-May-13 21:08:18

Can you imagine his gf in bed? Glad I don't live next to them.

KinkyDorito Sat 04-May-13 21:08:21

Tingly and smooth then Sue grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 04-May-13 21:08:24

Just so there's enough for Jessie as well

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:08:30

hazel PMSL. I hate men who have better hair than me.

It DO, Hazel, Like What-A-Mess, remember him?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 04-May-13 21:08:34

No. He is not french. I was being french, albeit very poorly.

Wolfcub Sat 04-May-13 21:08:44

rofl Sue

PseudoBadger Sat 04-May-13 21:08:57

I get they have made their own copy of The Joy Of Sex

Raahh Sat 04-May-13 21:09:05

He is the love child of the Joy of Sex couple. Although they were notasold as they looked.

PseudoBadger Sat 04-May-13 21:09:17

*bet. I didn't get a copy

French? Is he?

coco grin

Willy is the last to pick again? hmm

SO smooth. I love it. I almost wish I was hairier so I could epil more.
The dog is looking VERY nervous grin

LittleBairn Sat 04-May-13 21:09:32

Fucking hell that GF!

Moomoomee Sat 04-May-13 21:09:39

Will was the last one to pick last year too

KinkyDorito Sat 04-May-13 21:10:00

The montage of the doomed...