Masterchef - the final FINAL thread

(439 Posts)
Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:37:57

Just starting this, because the other one is almost full


musu Wed 01-May-13 21:40:22

Nat's balls have turnips in them (answer to Cremola).

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:40:29

This lot must get sick of the sight of cuckoo spit foam and frogspawn shortbread

pepperrabbit Wed 01-May-13 21:40:39

Larkin - last chance...

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:41:43

Oh, are we here now? confused

Larkin's having a good day.

dementedma Wed 01-May-13 21:42:40

Chef is getting worried......move it Larkin

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:43:03

Lolololol @ Jon looking through the window like its csi

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:45:34

Larkins broken.
Burst plastic bags.

I wish the competition was about cooking not bloody using fancy pants
Machinery. Sick to death of the plastic en vide dodah

pepperrabbit Wed 01-May-13 21:45:36

John looks like he's aged 10 years in the last week.

MousyMouse Wed 01-May-13 21:46:06

the chef looks really worried and pissed off
but he's probably glad he can blame all faults on the pretend-master-chefs

musu Wed 01-May-13 21:47:47

I wonder what it tastes like?

absolutmum Wed 01-May-13 21:47:57

Fish, meringues and coal. Poncetastic.

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:48:13

Stupid rockery food .

"As an amateur cook" ......... I think that sums Larkin up sadly.

WipsGlitter Wed 01-May-13 21:48:41

How did Larkin get this far?

rootypig Wed 01-May-13 21:49:24

oooh Clare Smyth is terrifying even when she's saying something nice

MirandaWest Wed 01-May-13 21:49:51

At least Larkin's looked nice shame he basically cocked it up

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 21:50:28

Funnily enough nature had stuck that duck skin on just fine. Then you ripped it off....

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:50:34

Larkin is proud of that?

He didn't bloody cook any of it. Or arrange it ffs.

absolutmum Wed 01-May-13 21:51:31

Duck flaying for beginners.

dementedma Wed 01-May-13 21:51:31

Go natlee

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:51:32

I am shit scared of Clare .

Natalie's on fire. Go on dawlin!

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 21:51:54

I'm very proud that I got the first and last post on the old thread

Ooh I would like to eat Natalie's dish

Sunnywithshowers Wed 01-May-13 21:52:27

She's done well smile

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:52:38

French bloke cracked a measly smileshock

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 21:52:41

So the duck is raw, other than the skin? Or did I miss a bit?

Daisypops Wed 01-May-13 21:53:05

Whos the american guy? wink

PoppyWearer Wed 01-May-13 21:53:17

Yay Natlee!

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:53:18

I was trying to beat you to it Badger grin

Natalie has done very well. Though I still think the dish is a bit of a faff, and I don't like sweetbreads. Or turnips.

MousyMouse Wed 01-May-13 21:53:19

anyone else fed up with the music?

won't be buying the soundtrack!

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:53:30

Some plastic bag action I think on the duck

musu Wed 01-May-13 21:53:32

Duck is cooked but posh chefs like it like that hmm

Bloody hell, that's a corker on the end of her snoz!

sailorsgal Wed 01-May-13 21:54:04

I missed who these chefs are?

YoniConnect Wed 01-May-13 21:54:16

Dale's tuiles = disaster (infact that's very nearly an anagram.)

Sunnywithshowers Wed 01-May-13 21:54:21

I love how chef doens't wear all the protective gear but the contestants do...

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:54:25

Is there an hour between each course or wha

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 21:54:46

Ah thanks everyone , missed the bag bit [too busy typing inane comments]

Why take the skin off and then stick it back on FFS?

musu Wed 01-May-13 21:55:21

Clare Smyth (Gordon Ramsay), two from Fat Duck and someone else.

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:55:27

What's wrong with cooking things.






musu Wed 01-May-13 21:56:34

Madame it is posh cheffery stuff that us mere mortals cannot begin to understand. I like the idea of a detachable skin though.

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:56:39

I could be chomping a muscovado tuile right nowgrin

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 21:56:41

Go dale! Best looking dish with the most components and [gasp] actual cooking required!

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:56:42

He did well, with another ridiculously bitty dish.

I don't think I'd want to eat there. I'd need a kebab on the way home.

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 21:56:50

Ok I'm imagining the French chef in bed. "Ooh I want to go inside" grin

Have warmed to Dale over last week

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 21:58:12

Musu your post reminded me of a song I recall from student days called detachable penis. Can't get part of the tune out of my head now.

Cremolafoam Wed 01-May-13 21:58:14


Dale didn't do too badly
Natalie good
Larkin FAIL

I got distracted and I lost you. shock

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:58:15

Dale to win?

I think John would have him win. Greg's adoration of Natalie might give it to her.

And they never go for who I want anyway.

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 21:58:59

Yes Larkin you're being left behind

absolutmum Wed 01-May-13 21:59:01

At least we didn't see the bald bloke ramming food into his mouth this time.

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 21:59:18

cat, I have too.

I thought he was a pompous self-centred prat. But I think he just cares so much he can't relax at all so comes across as a bit cold.

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 21:59:37

Think Larkin has finally realised he is sort of rub-a-dub.

Gracelo Wed 01-May-13 21:59:51

dp and I made meadowsweet cordial once. It was vile, gentle vanilla aroma, pfft

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 22:00:23

Are they actually going to have to do a 3 course meal? Seems like they only ever struggle to do one

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 22:00:33

What time tomorrow? 9 again?

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 22:01:19

Night all, thanks for the company.

Same time, same place, tomorrow smile

imustbepatient Wed 01-May-13 22:01:53

It's a date.

YoniConnect Wed 01-May-13 22:03:38

Nighty night, off for a cheese sandwich now

Will be there!

Hasn't masterchef changed since the days of Lloyd grossman.

pepperrabbit Wed 01-May-13 22:04:52

I'll be here smile

beanandspud Wed 01-May-13 22:08:13

See you all tomorrow. Good night!

PseudoBadger Wed 01-May-13 22:13:17

Good night. I'm eating Nutella off a spoon.

FacebookWanker Wed 01-May-13 22:39:07

I used to loved the bit of music when the food was ready for tasting...dah dee dah dah dah dadah dahhh

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 22:42:01

Is it frozen powdered Nutella?

Or possibly vacuum packed and warmed in a water bath?

Yes, I miss the da-daaaaaaaaaah bit.

lirael Wed 01-May-13 22:47:34

Missed most of tonight's as at choir rehearsal but think Natlee will win, unless she has a mare tomorrow. Dh and I think Larkin must have just practised three or four dishes really well for the early rounds - otherwise I don't understand how he can have fallen soooo far from grace this week.

rootypig Wed 01-May-13 23:20:52

have you all seen this article?

confirming that not only can Larkin not cook, but Gregg is a certified muppet grin

bulletproofgerbil Wed 01-May-13 23:39:47

MaryZ frozen powdered Nutella? Are you crazy? The only way to do Nutella is to salt bake it. I expect someone will be having a stab at that tomorrow night. Can't wait for the final.

Just read that rooty. Now why would you apply for MC in the first place if you 'rarely cooked'. What would be the appeal? Is it just to be on the telly? Larkin doesn't look like he's enjoying this at all anymore to be honest.

LaVolcan Thu 02-May-13 07:02:37

"All respect to people like Thomasina Miers, our first winner, but I don't think she'd win MasterChef nowadays," he said. "The knowledge and skill of the contestants is rising, year after year."

Come off it Greg! Let's wait a few years and see whether this year's winner is the owner of a small restaurant chain that they have built from scratch.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 07:16:19

I have one thing to add

Foraged = picked for tossers

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 07:19:15

Oh and I cant get over how Larkin goes from cooking fantastic food to absolute crap the next minute, before last night DH and I agreed there was nothing between all three but Natalie did fantastically, Dale did ok and Larkin to go.

I thought Simon Rogan was going to batter him with the cold ive just cooled them down under the cold tap and you put them on a hot pass plates grin

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 08:23:13

That's interesting rooty - Reading between the lines it means "Larkin can't cook, but practiced a few "techniques" and managed to fool the judges"

And we all knew already that Greg was a twonk.

Gracelo Thu 02-May-13 08:29:54

Maybe Larkin entered for a bet and is now way way out of his comfort zone. How do finalists fit MC in with a full time job anyway? I wonder that every series but I live 9.5 hours from London by train, no way could I do MC even if I'd wanted to. But even for people living closer this must be such a massive time commitment.

I think Tomasina is fab and Greg is an idiot, not that there was any more evidence needed.

Gracelo Thu 02-May-13 08:33:37

I didn't like the food they cooked for the chefs at all. I missed the point of the duck skin being taken of the duck and then put back on, why? This type of food is too much fuzzy and too "processed" for me.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 08:35:08

I also wonder how they afford to be finalists. Obviously they spend hours practising and trying out the recipes they want to do. So how much do the ingredients cost - truffle and expensive fish and fillet of venison and duck breasts and langoustines (when did Dublin Bay Prawns get renamed btw?) etc etc.

Ingredients must cost them a fortune. I wonder do they get some sort of allowance, or whether they are allowed to stay and use all those lovely ingredients left after the "invention" tests?

Gracelo Thu 02-May-13 08:43:31

That lovely consultant lady who was in the final of the Great British Bake off wrote a Blog entry about the costs and time commitment. I try to find it but I can't remember what she or her blog is called. I remember thinking that I could not do GBBO because of cost and time. Only the people in the later rounds got some financial help. I assume it might be similar for Masterchef.
I would have to do budget meals. Greg and Jon would get to eat an awful lot of lentils and other pulses if I were in MC.

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 08:47:10

I think the next invention test should be where they send the contestant into a random mnetter's house and ask them to make a gourmet meal using the contents of the fridge, freezer and cupboards. grin

Gracelo Thu 02-May-13 09:00:38

That's an excellent idea, beanandspud

jayho Thu 02-May-13 09:24:41

Sobs!!!!! My telly packed in 5 mins before it was due to start, will have to indulge in a little iplayer later. Was FURIOUS and stormed off to bed ranting!angry

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 09:31:35

Why take the skin off and then stick it back on FFS?

Ah, I was paying attention for this bit. It was actually the skin from another duck which had been slow cooked (or something). It means the skin can easily be crisped up without overcooking the duck breast or some such twonkery

I thought the starter was so beautiful. Not sure I'd want to eat it mind you.

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 09:31:52

I think that's defo what it means Maryz - but Gregg and Jon are total twonks, because this is what the invention test is designed to show up, surely. And Larkin has been dreadful every time! you'd think they wouldn't need a clue since he can't make a souffle or bloody pasta ffs

Crutchlow35 Thu 02-May-13 09:32:33

I am looking forward to tonight. I want Natalie to win. At least Larkin has admitted he isn't as good as the others.

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 09:35:28

I was Team Larkin but have switched allegiance to Natalie.

Jux Thu 02-May-13 09:57:02

I love Nat! The moment she started talking in her first round, I fell! I love that her granddad turns up with bags of random groceries and she has to make a meal out of it.

Don't like Dale. Larkin would be fine as long as he stays out of the kitchen (except for straightforward beverage and cleaning duties, of course!).

JontyRode is a twat, his food always sounds ghastly.

I want to live with Mama in Italy.

I lost you all, glad I've found this.

I want to be adopted by Mama Agata too. Just imagine eating that well every day I would get massive.

Larkin was awful again last night. In previous MC series, I don't recall anyone on finals week cocking up. What is the obsession with (IMO) under-cooked meat? Only beef should be rare.

arabesque Thu 02-May-13 11:01:06

Larkin is definitely a goner. He's lagging way behind now and more or less admitted it last night. (I couldn't believe it when he said he'd never made meringues before. Meringues??)

Does anyone else think this week is a bit lack lustre for final week? Normally they'd be cooking at huge banquets, catering for Ascot etc etc.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 12:57:15

The whole series is a bit lacklustre.

I think Greg and John have lost interest.

Apart from rolling out vast numbers of celebrity chefs and advertising their restaurants I'm no longer sure what is the point sad.

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 13:32:17

I've never been a Masterchef fan - I've just kind of had this series on in the background.

At the start, wasn't it just all studio based with the contestants cooking a meal for the judges?

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 13:32:35

I mean when MC first started, many years ago.

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 13:40:58

You mean "Heeew cooooks in a howwwwse like thiiiis?' grin
That's my Boston accent btw

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 13:47:12

Is it a Boston accent Lloyd Grossman has then? I thought it was just an affectation.

Dale reminds me of a loveable version of Gareth Keenan from the Office, bless him!

I do want Nathalie to win though.

What will I do when Masterchef is over? will have to get a life, sob

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 13:53:04

We can all move over to watch the Apprentice - I'm sure I saw an ad for that recently grin

[has no life emoticon]

lirael Thu 02-May-13 13:53:25

Having read Rootypig's article, I'm now convinced Larkin entered as some kind of bet or dare. Ridiculous statement from Greg about Thomasina Miers - she'd knock the socks off all these finalists.

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 14:00:41

Thing is, given what he has achieved with no experience, think what Larkin could do with the level of everyday experience the others have. I think he is talented.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 14:06:03

I think he is talented ok. But he doesn't care. If he did he would have practiced things like making pasta and simple techniques (meringues, ffs hmm).

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 14:07:48

My daughter tweeted Natalie last night, she got a very sweet reply and was retweeted. DD was thrilled, bless her.

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 14:07:55

Yes I agree, he doesn't care and it would be a shame if he won over someone like Natalie as I think it could change her life.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 14:08:22

That thing Larkin did with the fish was very impressive, and the paella. I think he does have skill.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 14:08:44

Agree he doesn't have the passion as much as Natalie though.

MamaMary Thu 02-May-13 14:10:05

There is no doubt that the standard is extremely low this year. And John and Greg know it. In previous years they used to bang on about how 'these contestants are the best we've ever had' but nothing along those lines has been said in this competition. Not once.

It's probably also why they can't risk these numpties creating their own inventions for the Michelin chefs. Instead they're made to follow tried and tested recipes while watched over like a hawk by a professional chef.

Which makes me a bit annoyed as I think Dale will win simply because the competition is so poor.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 14:10:28

Larkin will never work in a kitchen though. He wouldn't have the drive and determination to cope with the pressure.

I think Dale has both those in spades - and Natalie's love of food and good humour would carry her through.

Both of them could do very well as chefs.

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 14:49:48

Agree 100% Maryz

Back2Two Thu 02-May-13 15:28:07

I have really enjoyed it actually but I haven't watched it since Lloyd G years so I've been missing out. Controversially I really like Dale. He needs to stop shaving for a couple of days though, and lighten up on the hair gel. I think he's a perfectionist.

What about the seafood stew/soup with a crappy slice of bread that Larkin served up yesterday? Why on earth is that Masterchef semi final stuff? "I'm going to boil the tomatoes, skin them and sort of boil them down" was his skilled technique for the base of the soup. Shocking.

It's all very repetitive though and I think even Nat'lee is a bit stuck in a meaty rut (on a smear of some fink white).

No exciting puddings at all.

Still can't wait for tonight though.

Jux Thu 02-May-13 15:32:37

PseudoBadger, I thought Grossman was Canadian?

Yes, years ago it was just studio cooking and that was that. It did get boring after a few years. I think Shouty-Man Greg revived it, changed the format and produces it.

I suppose that it is fair enough that you won't always get thoroughly amazing chefs every series. Like you don't get a Leona Lewis (whom I don't rate anyway) for every series of X-Factor, which is also tired and generally boring now. You only get one Mozart type of thing (babbling now).

I wonder how much I would want to see a 'this is what past winners are doing now' for Masterchef? There are only a handful I remember. I would quite like to know how the two young ones are doing - were they joint winners a few years ago? Or am Imaking that up? The girl hadn't even finished college when the competition started - Claire?

See how useless I am grin

Jux Thu 02-May-13 15:34:12

Anyway, I'm not going to be able to watch it tonight as it clashes with The Politician's Husband. Probably won't see it until Sunday, so I shall have to steer clear of this thread...

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 15:56:30

Oh, Larkin won't win, I think it is clear that he is now out of his depth. The things he did in earlier stages were incredible though.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 16:00:12

I have never been so disappointed with a series.

The format was just completely off and it has been too rushed.

It has made me long for the days of Destiny and her thai street food.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 16:00:29

Apols 'authentic' thai street food.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 16:01:40

I thought Loyd Grossman was incredibly posh Brahmin Boston (or am I making it up) hence the strangulated accent.

I liked Loyd Grossman though. He seems like such a nice man.

BIWI Thu 02-May-13 16:03:23

I think Natalie is by far the most imaginative of the three.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 16:09:22

jux her name was claire, i liked her hair!

Agree the standard is way down, i kept thinking it was because I also watched MC the professionals and kept having to remind myself that these are just amateurs but Shelina who won the last MC was fantastic.

I want Natalie to win tonight I love her! I agree about Dale being a perfectionist, i would like to ruffle his hair a bit! grin

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 16:20:45

Oh I loved Masterchef profs. The lovely two who won that this year. And LOVELY Michel Roux.

BIWI Thu 02-May-13 16:21:30

Oh here she goes ...


GetOrfMoiLand Thu 02-May-13 16:24:37

I know. I am obsessed.

I watched a documentary with his uncle in (the original Michel Roux) and he is lovely as well, with the most enchanting strong French accent.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 16:25:37

I like Michel he is sparkly smile

I love Michel Roux Jr too, I saw him first, me! me! They should revamp MC with Michel and Monica taking over from John and 'I'm not shouting' Greg, reverting back to the format where we really got to know the contestants and it's all done properly i.e. by the end, Michelin quality.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 16:34:55

I LOVE Greg Wallace, he is the best thing about MC, absolute comedy genius!

Greg is funny, but even he has been quieter this year. I agree with whoever said John and Greg are bored of MC now.

Wickedgirl Thu 02-May-13 17:51:53

I hope Natalie wins. Larkin should have left last week instead of saira.

I like Greg on professional masterchef......he works well with michel roux and Monica and the food produced is amazing. I think they should lose john as a chef.......none of his meals looked that appetising

NotWilliamBoyd Thu 02-May-13 18:28:33

I agree that Saira should have stayed instead of Larkin.

Also agree with others that the standard is not as high as in previous years - none of these would compare with nice-James-I-think-his-name-was-with-curly-hair who won it several years ago.

Does this mean that I don't have any original opinions of my own? Eek.

Ok, erm does anyone else think that Dale looks like Daniel Craig's little-kid-brother-who's-trying-too-hard-to-look-nice or is it just me??

PoppyWearer Thu 02-May-13 19:11:54

Saira should definitely have stayed instead of Larkin, that was a travesty!

LaVolcan Thu 02-May-13 19:51:44

Some of those who got knocked out in the later stages must also being pretty cheesed off with Larkin. Rukmila probably deserved a final 4 place.

Wonder if John and Greg are feeling a tad embarassed for putting Larkin through?

BIWI Thu 02-May-13 20:08:18

Oh yes! I said to DH that I thought Dale looked like a pretty Daniel Craig!

Saira was good, but she was a bit of a one trick pony. That was her problem. Never moving out of her comfort zone.

TiredFeet Thu 02-May-13 20:12:01

I love Nat-lee. I am going to have a great big pregnant lady sobbing session little hormonal cry if she wins tonight.

dementedma Thu 02-May-13 20:17:37

did someone mention Michel Roux? <dribble>
he of the melting brown eyes and cheeky smile?
He's MINE!!!

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 20:28:07

I luffed Michel Roux and then I saw him on This Week hmm

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 20:32:21

Oh, you lot are so fickle shock

Only a week ago half the thread was in love with Larkin, and now it's all Michel Roux.

Larkin who?

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 20:43:49


Jux Thu 02-May-13 20:46:28

Not bothered by M. roux. He's alright and he does have a twinkle, but I prefer Monica whose twinkle is far more subtle.

I hate JontyRode, that's why I don't call him John Torode. Not that it makes him any more palatable. I don't really like to admit that I know his proper name. grin

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 20:49:18

I saw Monica in person a few months ago as we were on the same flight to New Zealand. I so wanted to run over and tell her how much I (and half of MN) love her on MC the Professionals but was too shy. Plus she was with her family so didn't want to impose.

She seemed really lovely though!

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 20:54:10

No no Mary. We Michel fans have always been here.

Cher Michel aux yeux bruns - je t'adore....

Mine! All Mine! grin

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 20:58:07

Evening all. I have gin, a side bet on Natalie and a crush on JMR Jnr.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 21:02:11

DH is out and i have promised not to watch it so we can watch together on iplayer tomorrow selfish git grin

So im leaving this thread and im going to dye my hair smile

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:05:16

Hmm, Larkin is very attractive though, isn't he.

Don't believe he actually wants to be a chef for a minute, mind.

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:06:01

Seeing all his early dishes, I cannot believe the extent to which he has tanked.

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:06:14

Oh, bless Larkin's parents, what a wonderful story.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:06:55

Oh, come on Yoni.

You don't have to tell him hmm

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:07:33

I know, his early stuff was great. What is it, burnout?

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:07:54

This is my favourite song EVER smile

PoppyWearer Thu 02-May-13 21:08:34

Arse. DH is on the train and has asked me to pause it. LTB? I'm going to have to LTT (leave the thread). <sob>

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:09:03

I lurve Michel Roux Jnr. Saying that I did kiss Gordon Ramsay once so I'm pretty fickle.

Oh I do hate all of the biog/journey to the final stuff. Let's just do some proper cooking.

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:09:12

So Larkin wants to pay homage to his heritage without betraying all they have given up for him by giving up a legal career. I can sort of understand that and respect it.

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:09:37

Poppy decisions don't get any easier than this. You must LTB.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:09:45

Evenin' all. Missed the last 2 rounds, eeeek! Just managed to make it for the final and chirpy Cockernee Nat's life-story...

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:10:09

he won't win though

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:10:40

Nat'lee is lovely. What a lovely woman.

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:10:40

Oh Nat! [sob]

Larkin might feel a bit conflicted I reckon. Nat is so lovely and normal.

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:11:00

Aww Natalie is bringing a tear to my eye and seems so genuine again.

PoppyWearer Thu 02-May-13 21:11:06

<packs bag>

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:11:11

ok am now desp for Natlee to win becoz she is so good to her granddad

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:11:22

Aw I love Natalie; I want her to win (and she's v impressive in the kitchen)

FacebookWanker Thu 02-May-13 21:11:41

I really want Larkin to do well. I also want Nat to win...I'm torn...

StuffezLaYoni Thu 02-May-13 21:11:53

Evening all!
Larkin's circumstances sound tricky, difficult for him. I think Natalie's a sure thing for the win.

Dd is a bit grumpy as bedtime consisted of a quick hug followed by me flying down the stairs.

IllegalYoniFarm Thu 02-May-13 21:12:55

But Maryz im so shit at lying! I'm really going now!

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:13:10

I do wonder whether there might be some clever editing here and Larkin turns out to be a surprise winner hmm.

I'm so pleased I'm not the only one that luvs Natalie I think I may shed a tear when she wins ( she will win, she will!)

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:14:14

Dale got his mums cheekbones.

FacebookWanker Thu 02-May-13 21:14:41

He's rather photogenic

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:14:50

Dale Thatcher?

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:14:55

I hope she wins too!
She came across so well just now

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:15:17

Ooh Bean are you suggesting a conspiracy theory?

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:15:27

Don't go Yoni! Perhaps you could trip over and find yourself unable to get up from in front of the tv for about an hour.

Zhx3 Thu 02-May-13 21:15:48

I've got a similar heritage to Larkin and my Dad would be so so disappointed if, after all the slog they put into my education, I returned to catering. I can see why Larkin's conflicted

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:15:49

I like Dale cos he cares so much about getting it right, but my money's on Nat, unless Larkin pulls a blinder out of the bag.

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:15:53

I think Natalie wants to win the most
Dale is pretty good though

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:16:48

Natalie would benefit most from winning

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:17:09

See they do the bloody biogs and I swing like a pendulum. Dales done some good stuff. Have I been too harsh?


Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:18:30

Now I want dale again confused

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:18:40

Here we go......

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:18:55

What does Dale actually do in RL, did I miss it? Apart from the vague 'setting up my own company'?

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:19:03

Natlee Natlee!

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:19:21

They overdid it there with the metro bloke appts and then Natalie's wire balcony fence.

Sunnywithshowers Thu 02-May-13 21:19:28

Larkin doesn't have a clue what he wants to do, I reckon.

Bored of all the 'apprentice style' car shizzle. Get on with it!

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:19:34

Dale comes across as a really lovely young man. Would be happy to see him win although think Nat has the edge. Anything could happen though! Mind you it's hard to think how Larkin could possibly make up the ground he lost...

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:19:49

Dale did some really good early stuff. I'd forgotten

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:20:00

Oh do hurry up! They could have whipped up two soufflées, a lemon tart and cabbage-three-ways if they'd started cooking instead of padding.

FacebookWanker Thu 02-May-13 21:20:12


Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:20:46

Three courses. There will be tears

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:20:58

Beansndspud as long as that isn't all in one course

Sunnywithshowers Thu 02-May-13 21:21:27

'Cabbage three way' sounds like the most kinky veg game ever.

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:22:22

I do like a spring roll

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:22:24

Larkin is going to have a comeback here. Back to clever stuff

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:22:31

grin at Sunny

pepperrabbit Thu 02-May-13 21:23:55

Is that a bicycle pump shock

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:24:19

I agree Maryz. I have been harsh before, I may be eating humble pie tonight will soak up the gin

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:24:22

Isn't there a law about putting a pump up a ducks rear end???

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Thu 02-May-13 21:24:32

"What are you doing with a bicycle pump and a duck??" Love it!! grin

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:24:42

Does Larkin have a twin brother that he had to get to sub for him for a few rounds?! A twin brother who can't cook for toffee?

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:24:49

<John orgasms>

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:25:28

See, larkin can do it when he has practised. He just can't invent

Zhx3 Thu 02-May-13 21:25:38

Now I want Larkin to win. Yum yum. Love the hairdryer on the belly pork!

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:25:38

See, now this looks really good. He's obviously talented, but inexperienced.

Sunnywithshowers Thu 02-May-13 21:25:46

I don't want Larkin to win. But I'd eat that food.

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:26:30

agree larkin comeback but still natlee to win

FacebookWanker Thu 02-May-13 21:26:32

I love Nat

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:26:52

The two f them just go all googly over Nat, don't they?

That's rather a lot going on!

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:27:25

I like Natalie. She has come furthest

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:27:28

Mmm, Nat's dessert sounds yum.

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:27:36

A fennel 3-way

MirandaWest Thu 02-May-13 21:27:37

There is a bit too much talking really isn't there?

coffeeinbed Thu 02-May-13 21:28:00

I just can't get over the fact that he hasn't made pasta, cooked cavolo nero and what was that other thing?
I have never made pasta, then again, I'm watching from my sofa.

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:28:11

Oh the bloody three ways again.
What does three ways taste like? Eh? Eh?

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:28:14

I wish someone would just do something one way for a change <harrumphs>

MirandaWest Thu 02-May-13 21:28:15

What will Dale produce I wonder?

TiredFeet Thu 02-May-13 21:28:43

oh no! Larkins food sounds amazing.I want to eat it NOW.

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:28:55

It's not like any Sunday roast that I've ever cooked.

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:29:12

Coffee it was meringue.

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:29:26

Must admit I like the sound of Larkin's menu over Nats so far.

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:29:37

Bean mr me. Where's the paxo?

Come on Nat

coffeeinbed Thu 02-May-13 21:30:00

oh yes.
meringue it was.

Fish livers?

TiredFeet Thu 02-May-13 21:30:16

still want natlee to win though, she's loveleeee

Jellykat Thu 02-May-13 21:30:36

I'd love Natalie to win, as i like her more as a person.

They can't just decide on tonight can they? Larkin as been pants for weeks

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:31:00

Who are they presnting this to? Only JT and GW? Where's Michel ( mon amour aux yeux bruns)

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:31:05

Dale has mad eyes. Sorry, but he scares me a bit.

How do you refresh the page on an iPad?

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 21:32:04

Don't go anywhere. Just getting more gin!

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:32:05

I've just realised what I miss! The music that had conveniently timed 'chop' and 'sizzle' etc. Dum de dum dum dum de 'chop'....

Fennel the way sounds filthy..

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:32:36

The little refresh curly arrow in the web bar?

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:32:44

I need a wee break but daren't

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:32:46

Dale will run out of time

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:33:22

Ooo ooo they just timed a 'pop' grin

coffeeinbed Thu 02-May-13 21:33:24

has he gone bonkers?

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Thu 02-May-13 21:33:27

Just grab an empty bottle, alice.


imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:33:40

TSS you are making me wish we had gin in the house. In fact must ask Dh what happened to it...

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:34:08

You could make it a bit more interesting with a few Internet-shopping style substitutions.

"I'm sorry, the researchers couldn't find the red mullet and pork belly on your shopping list so they've sent you a tin of tuna and six chipolatas instead. See how you get on?"

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:34:18

I don't even have wine

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:34:37

bottle appplied to relevant part Lady M blush

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:35:06

Bean if they did that Larkin would be stuffed

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:35:08

::Holds out empty glass to TSS::

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Thu 02-May-13 21:35:13


firesidechat Thu 02-May-13 21:35:52

I am not happy!!!

I came on here with my evil twin theory and imustbepatient beat me too it. Is good twin back this week?

I'm on vodka.

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:36:05

argh Gregg is just a professional pudding

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:36:39

Would everyone stop bloody running. I keep expecting someone to nose dive and spill something three ways all over the floor.

Looks nice

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:36:50

Well, Larkin appears to be back on form

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:37:14


Why has he not done this before?

Sunnywithshowers Thu 02-May-13 21:37:19

Arf at 'morning glory'


ImperialBlether Thu 02-May-13 21:37:27

Just joined this thread - didn't realise it existed! Who the hell is the voiceover? I've just told my daughter to go down to Bristol and marry Larkin.

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:37:29

Great minds think alike firesidechat grin

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:37:31

Greg's got morning glory just looking at that

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 21:37:43

"A side of morning glory"!

Tofu emulsion? Is that from Farrow & Ball?

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:38:09

Peanuts and cockles! Eurgh

Few seconds behind due to little drink needed!

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:38:35

I will be crosser than a cross thing in crossville if he wins though. Fuck

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:39:44

Maryz he hasn't shown this before because he is rubbish at cooking on the hoof and making things up. He will have practised this until he could do it blindfold. He reminds me of those comedy sketches of Masterchef when they serve up very basic meals, eg chips and ketchup and pontificate on it.

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:39:55

Great food though joking apart, No?

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:40:02

Maryz was just about to write something along the same lines but you have expressed it far better!

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:40:18

desert looks messy

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:40:19

That is a mess on a slate.

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:40:44

chocolate/caramel smears are never a good look

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:40:44

crumble and
gel tho?

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:40:46

Larkin is wowwing them!

It's making me a bit hungry which is amazing at the moment.

pepperrabbit Thu 02-May-13 21:41:04

How are you supposed to eat that as a pudding - tiny smears all over the place. tsk

Is Larkin crying?

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:41:24

Greg, you pig hmm. Enough to eat? You've been stuffing your face all series

I need to not be behind you all!

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:41:53

They have to say it is good. It is the final. If they say it is crap then everyone will question why he got so far and the integrity of the programme. That entire menu looked shit to me.

snice Thu 02-May-13 21:42:02

you'd need to pick the slate up at the end and lick the sauce off wouldn't you

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:42:13

take the whole plate and lick it?

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:42:25

It does look very good though.

firesidechat Thu 02-May-13 21:42:32

Yes, I'm pretty sure that good twin is indeed back.

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:42:33

Dale's presentation is pants.

Noooo Larkin can't win

ProphetOfDoom Thu 02-May-13 21:43:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:43:41

Could John not have washed his hair for the final?

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:43:53

How can you serve food undercooked in the final? confused

snice Thu 02-May-13 21:43:55

wheres the gravy Dale?

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:43:59

Now this I would eat. Despite the liver. Sitting in the sun with a glass of cold rose. Heaven

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:44:22

that always bothers me Schmaltzing

Dale always looks like he's plotting a dastardly murder

idonthaveone Thu 02-May-13 21:44:29

Rubbish presentation from Dale

smoothieooo Thu 02-May-13 21:44:42

That's what I was thinking about the food being cold... also they won't be so hungry for the 3rd dish which worries me!

chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 21:44:44

How many times can John & now Greg say Beautiful !!!!

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:45:23

Panna cotta thingy looks bogging. Sorry.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:45:33

See he REALLY cares

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:45:45

Desiccated coconut? Looks like his dessert is growing furry mould.

joshandjamie Thu 02-May-13 21:45:49

Dales dessert looks like a shrine to the 70s

Do they all cook at the same time though?

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:46:09

Yes, Larkin's disastrous mango pudding was 3rd to be judged, and his ice-cream had melted. I always think that when people have to wait for ages for their food to be next.

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:46:27

did Gregg ever meet a pudding he didn't like hmm

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:46:50

I don't understand pannacotta. Cold milky jelly

idonthaveone Thu 02-May-13 21:47:00

Shes won

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:47:09

Nat's presentation is what I'd expect in the final.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:47:29

Compressed fennel, no less hmm

Bessie123 Thu 02-May-13 21:47:45

Does Greg need a wee? Why was he wriggling about?

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:47:53

I judt don't 'get' slate though.
the noise of cuttlery against it makes my teeth stand on end and my hair itch


snice Thu 02-May-13 21:47:58

they love her don't they

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:48:07

Hand him that bottle, someone

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:48:17

Whew. He lurves her though grin

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:48:20

God Greg is going to leap the table and mount her isn't he, he looks so much like a Labrador

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:48:39

It is also bloody heavy Mouse (disgruntled former waitress)

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:48:44

Ambridge I guess there must be a technical difference between that and squashed fennel grin

Lovely Larkin smile at Nat.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 02-May-13 21:48:50

John does fluttery blinking when he's happy. If he doesn't flutter, he's not impressed. He's fluttering at the lobster.

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:48:56

If Natlee doesn't win now I'll eat my hat.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:48:58

Xposted snice

Come on Nat!

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:49:17

musu grin

MirandaWest Thu 02-May-13 21:49:37

<bites fingernails>

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:49:45

I don't like pork or scotch eggs but I'd eat that.

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:50:01

She has to win.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:50:16

OK, foregone conclusion now, innit?

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:50:17

I think John likes the pork, maybe?

GirlOutNumbered Thu 02-May-13 21:50:20

I'm on catch up so behind you lot, but just wanted to say 'bring it on Larkin!!!!!'

BaconAndAvocado Thu 02-May-13 21:50:28

Go Nat go!!!

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:50:29

Yes, just like Sunday lunch chez Bean.

Awwwww Larkin loves her too.

They could get married and have little chef babies.

dementedma Thu 02-May-13 21:50:44

Larkin knows Nat has it

Bessie123 Thu 02-May-13 21:50:49

That pudding looks like it needs a sawsse

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:50:57


idonthaveone Thu 02-May-13 21:51:05

Need a wee cant go

Zhx3 Thu 02-May-13 21:51:25

I am dribbling at Natalie's food.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:51:34

Yes, kitten a trio of them

BIWI Thu 02-May-13 21:51:41

Natalie has to have won, surely?

joshandjamie Thu 02-May-13 21:51:46

what is Greg doing to that spoon??

Bessie123 Thu 02-May-13 21:51:59

idon'thaveone do Greg's wriggle

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:52:01

I think she might win.

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:52:06

Natalie has nailed it

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:52:15

This will have been the quickest decision they have ever made in the final of Masterchef. The other two aren't even close.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:52:24

Early on would they not say there were too many flavours on one plate? Now they want lots of bits

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 21:52:35

Natalie has won, she must have.

Nat has won for sure.

smoothieooo Thu 02-May-13 21:52:57

Pity the poor sod who has to clean that lot up!

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:53:07

At the start of this tonight it was Nat's to lose and instead she has excelled.

Ambridge Thu 02-May-13 21:53:08

Oh cut the crap Gregg angry

dementedma Thu 02-May-13 21:53:08

Does Larkin have a thing for Nat?

imustbepatient Thu 02-May-13 21:53:10

The music is getting a bit over emotional and naff isn't it?

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:53:18

They've still got about five minutes to debate though - there will be padding...

snice Thu 02-May-13 21:53:19

they're holding hands!!
Natlee luurves Larkin

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:53:49

Seems weird they made them wear name badges?

MousyMouse Thu 02-May-13 21:53:59

if she doesn't win a complaint to the beebs would be in order.

BedHanger Thu 02-May-13 21:54:12

Poor Dale got left out sad

Of Nat doesn't win I'll eat my hat three ways.

Back2Two Thu 02-May-13 21:54:28

Not really much suspense really, even she must know she's won

I liked the music

MirandaWest Thu 02-May-13 21:55:24

Natalie and Larkin holding hands v sweet. Poor Dale.

idiuntno57 Thu 02-May-13 21:55:43

can Larkin and Natalie bring joint winners then get married?grin

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:55:47

Oh get on with it

idiuntno57 Thu 02-May-13 21:55:54


Will there be kisses?

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:56:21

Come on Nat!!!

beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:56:28

Is it time for The Apprentice yet?

idiuntno57 Thu 02-May-13 21:56:36

Natakin ??

musu Thu 02-May-13 21:56:40

Describing Nat's cooking as 'homecooking' is really patronising. Hers is the best both technically and in presentation.

idiuntno57 Thu 02-May-13 21:56:58

Larkalee ?

Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:57:02

aaargh get on with it!

Jellykat Thu 02-May-13 21:57:08

Cmon Nat..

rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:57:18

abuhamza grin


Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:57:21


beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 21:57:30

Wahay! Natalie!!!


musu Thu 02-May-13 21:57:35

Thank god for that.

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:57:35


We knew it!

alicetrefusis Thu 02-May-13 21:57:42


rootypig Thu 02-May-13 21:57:44


LBsBongers Thu 02-May-13 21:57:45


Selks Thu 02-May-13 21:57:58

YEAHH!!! grin Very well deserved indeed.

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:57:59

Wow they got it right


pepperrabbit Thu 02-May-13 21:58:05

Phew! grin

Told you she would win yay

SoupDragon Thu 02-May-13 21:58:17


Jellykat Thu 02-May-13 21:58:17

Yaaaay !!

Zhx3 Thu 02-May-13 21:58:23

Feeling a bit emotional. Yay Natalie!

Larkin smiled back at her. Awwwwww happy ending!

idiuntno57 Thu 02-May-13 21:58:34

can she go on and marry Larkin please happy ending

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 21:58:53

Just absolutely roared at:

abuhamzamouse Thu 02-May-13 21:54:21
Of Nat doesn't win I'll eat my hat three ways.


Maryz Thu 02-May-13 21:59:05

She will make the most of it too

She wants to cook

I think her mum will want it on the mantelpiece.

Now what?

Maryz Thu 02-May-13 22:00:09

Yes bean

Apprentice next week I think.


beanandspud Thu 02-May-13 22:01:36

It's been a pleasure ladies grin. The best chef won and I'm off in search of a wine to celebrate!

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 22:02:44

Justice has been done.

The MN Jury can rest.

Well done Nat wine

awaywego1 Thu 02-May-13 22:04:29

Actually cried I love Natalie so smile
Whilst snorting at "ill eat my hat 3 ways"..DP thinks I've gone mad.

Selks Thu 02-May-13 22:07:08

It'll be interesting to see where her career in cooking goes now. I have a feeling she won't be sticking her credit control job for long!

Hope the lads get something good out of this too.


chickydoo Thu 02-May-13 22:11:56

Great result !! See you next time grin

Ah, they were all lovely weren't they ? Most emotional final I can remember, and they seemed genuinely close to each other at the end.
Nat was great wasn't she? The Hackney girl's done good, and love that she said she'd put it on her mantelpiece.

Hope all 3 go from strength to strength. I can see Larkin doing well too.
Hope all families very proud x

magimedi Thu 02-May-13 22:19:26

Hoo fucking ray!

The right woman won!!!!!!!!!!

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 02-May-13 22:23:45

abuhamzamouse grin grin

So glad she won.

Davros Thu 02-May-13 22:27:17

Obv larkin's will be stunning because he has practised. I am watching rather late btw!

MrsJohnDeere Thu 02-May-13 22:27:39

Just caught up (watching with live pause) now in floods of tears! So glad she won.

Lovely warm smile from Larkin too, seemed genuinely pleased for her.


Exhaustipated Thu 02-May-13 22:29:56

So... Larkin and Nat, just good friends? Or maybe more?

<lowers the tone>

PoppyWearer Thu 02-May-13 22:32:03

Just caught up here too.

Sooooo happy for Natleee! <sobs>

PoppyWearer Thu 02-May-13 22:33:26

P.S. ooh yes, I noticed the Larkin thing too. Masterchef wedding?grin