The Voice! Come and watch- waterfall cardi optional!

(631 Posts)
Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 17:53:01

Last week was very dull, it needs to step up the 'odd' factor, I think.

Jessie j is still fecking annoying. thinks he's a palm tree!

Swivel chairs at the ready!

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 17:56:22

(Bumping to get it above the thread I started in error- bloody phone)

Is this where we should be??

Yes indeed, I am primed and ready to spin.
Bill-Ich-Bin and his pleather waterfall jacket - like the product of that Per Una design meeting when someone spiked the mini muffins.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 18:05:27

Phew! Everything went off for a bit then- honestly, ever since we swapped to Virgin broadband it's been shit

<and breath>

Bloody technology. Remember my telly was going funny last week? I pressed the button for it to re-tune itself and it found NO channels <eek>. I thought I'd be Voice-less.
Luckily I mended the aerial with sellotape <hi-tech> and it re-discovered the digital world.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 18:12:16

Technology is indeed pants.

grin @ sellotaping the aerial- had a flashback to wire coat hangers being used as car aerials then!

Back when all tellies looked like Evil Edna <misty>

No, sellotaping it into the wall bit, you know. The special plug for aerials.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 18:24:13

the casing for our aerial socket is hanging off too. It's on the 'to do' list grin

I have done much of my To Do list this holiday. I dread the day that DD is too old to convince that wallpaper stripping is a fun holiday activity.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 18:25:51

Hello! I'm missed last weeks so I not sure if I still love ole Bill. He. Is.
We shall see.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 18:27:01

Sue, I managed to convince DD that cleaning the oven was great fun today grin.

<waves at cocole>
Excellent work, re oven. I have used child labour for wall papering, painting and laying a lawn with gravel path this last week grin. Never thought of the oven.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 18:36:23

I read last weks thread so I'm up to speed. It appears it was more entertaining than the show.

DD wants to do some red button interactive thing, while it's on. Not sure what it does, maybe gives the judges electric shocks?

Nerfmother Sat 06-Apr-13 18:36:26

Checking in! Might be watching ant and dec first tho...jessie is just keeping it real grin and I love her rubbish attempts at getting others to join her when she chooses a wrong un!

I have The Voice bingo on the Faceaches which some of you are on, non? But I'm working on my own, it's really more of a bingo/drinking game mash-up but with cake.
Got to have a mash up

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 18:53:07


It's going to be dope. And fresh.


Prolly Dope. And Real, it's bound to be Real. And will be Kept Real, that's very important.

Lolling at the judges saying how impossible it is to talk about the singers. It's apparently also impossible for them to make decisions.
I'm not sure they've got to grips with the key elements of the judges' role.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:01:46

Dh has just got in from work. And he's back in at 5am. I'm probably going to have to let him watch something else aren't I?sad

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:02:03

Whoop Whoop.
It's really me, it's really now. And I am really real. Really.

NO, Raah. no you are not. The man needs his sleep

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:02:56

What Raahh? No, he wants to watch this. He does.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:03:07

I think this guy might sound better with his shirt off

Evenin' all

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:03:13

Good point Sue grin

Your man will pick Bill-je-sui fo'sho' <raphophip fingers>

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:03:48

Ohhh way to go Trev.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:04:06

Is he really called Trevor Francis?

He didn't look like that when he played for Notts Forest

Arf at S'Tom looking like he's waiting for a repeat prescription. Bored.
Arf at Danny pretending he all dope

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:04:31

He will choose Pube-head, wont he? Surely Sir Tom can rustle up a Sam Cooke anecdote?

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:04:33

Every week someone is going to over-do one of my favourite songs aren't they?

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:04:49

DH wants to watch moto gp qualifying. As if.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:04:55

grin @ Noel

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:05:18

No you didn't literally drop dead Danny you ARSE

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:05:26

Danny wants him to be his friend, to be on his team.
But he knows it's not going to be sad

TorianaTollywobbles Sat 06-Apr-13 19:05:41

Evening. At least no cringy judge group song this week.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:05:42

He has a beautiful voice.

Maybe he DID literally drop dead. That explains his colouring.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:06:08

You can't have a soul singer called Trevor hmm

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:06:09

Sir Tom is really working that old lady purple rinse, isn't he?

Look at Bill-I-Were's HAIR.
He looks like Robbie Rotten, shrunk in the wash.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:02

Last week, when she spoke to the Black Person, Jessie banged on about 'church'. This week, 'blessings'. Hmmmm.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:07

Is it me or are they in a bigger studio compared to last year?

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:12

Danny just gets ropier and ropier each week sad

It's like he ages in dog years or summat

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:20


(we all must drink)

They will call him T-Dog, coco.
Or maybe not. They never got James Arthur orthodontry, did they?

zukiecat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:38

Will needs to show me his arse. I need to know if I still fancy him or not.

Why does JJ talk in stupid voices.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:07:55

Oh no you ditent just go there Hazel grin

Vair true

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:08:02


Jessie j makes me want to pour hot wax in my ears to give light relief from her blibbering nuggets of faux street nonsense. And Danny trying to look 'street', well he has a touch of the tim westwoods.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:08:28

I didn't expect him to choose Jessie!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:08:35

mmm-HMM Noel

Tinker's dog, Noel <nods>. We decided.

Whenever there's a black singer, Danny does the sticky-out bottom lip nod-along (he got rhythm) and Jessie pretends she's from the Bible Belt.

The pleather Bible Belt, obvs

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:08:58

With the possible exception of Danny's tee shirt (he doesn't make much effort), all of the judges' outfits are very Do Not Tumble Dry, aren't they? They must nearly kill the contestants with static electricity when they hug them.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:09:07

(the huh was about him picking JJ)

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:09:10

Sorry are we here blush?
Evening all! wine
Is anyone else playing the predictor game?

Judge bunfight to start off the night!

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:09:11

No. Should have went with Bill Dog, T-Dog.

Oh, look. Sarah Beeny as the most uninspiring cuntree singer ever.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:10:12

He should have though about making connections for after the show, he's more likely to meet the right people with Will or Tom. Maybe that's why he hasn't made it yet, he can't think with a business head.

Doncaster is well known for its up and coming music scene.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:10:28

Tom's team, deffo.

'I have to get out o'Doncaster and back to Nashville'

lolling. real lolling.

Excellent pirate squint there.

crypes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:10:56

I don't understand why they don't all choose will.iam. If you want the best chance in the music industry surely you can't do better than

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:02

Well I suppose her pool ole paw could have been a miner confused

zukiecat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:10

I like a little bit of country, as long as its not taylor swift.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:23

Country G'n'R karaoke.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:31

You can always tell who the contestant wants as a judge because the family start chanting the name.

And pretendy growl.
It's like Tammy Wynette would be, if she was shit and from Doncaster.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:11:37

And her, obvs.

I fear it might not be Nashville but sideways to Scunthorpe.

Bet you a pound Jessie feels the need to sing a bit.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:12:41

I love how they streeeeeetch out the last notes- waiting for someone to turn.


cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:13:09

Stop yer grinnin' and drop yer linen, people turned around shock

Both S'Tom and Tammy look underwhelmed at one another.

Headlining cleathorpes winter gardens soon...

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:14:45

This country is lacking in country we have any?!

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:14:53

Singlehandedly trying to bring back the Nolan Sisters flick.

Good on yer gal

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:14:53

oh ffs- she even has a fake American speaking voice.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:15:00

OMG, do you think she's the next Leann?

I don't think we are lacking cuntree singers. That would imply that we need some.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:15:33

I though that Raaah

"Thenk yoooo"

Wtf hmm

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:15:55

And what's up with Holly this season? She looks like she could not give less of a fuck.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:05

Come to N.Ireland, it's second only to Nashville for country singers. Unfortunately all of them are shite.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:11

I never spell your name right sorry Raahh

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:14

Ok this next one I've seen onYoutube pnthat Buble video

'Ai came back frm school to find the Mater had signed me up'
Is this ACTUALLY the HolyShitBalls mum? I love that clip.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:17

do not understand why the first guy went with jessie confused

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:25

SUUUUUUUUE! It's the Bubl&#279; Bomb?

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:29

Oh I remember this guy at the concert...that I watched on TV.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:32

No child, he will KILL YOU with his serial killer eyes.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:41

I saw him singing with the bubble!!!

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:43

Oh I love Sam.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:16:44

Oh gawd scary Mother alert!

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:08

Sue what is the HolyshitBalls mum and where can I find the clip??
I feel I need to see it!!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:08

He is rocking the ventriloquists dummy look tonight!

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:17

Bublé Bomb.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:19


Noooo, Hazel we love Mickey Bubbles now. We WANT him to shit in a box for us.

Holy shit balls mom! Sorry just catching up, had to pause dr who for ds to through a wobbler!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:30

He's a bit like that one from glee - the trouty mouthed one.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:17:50

You've changed Sue sad

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:18:18


He reminds me of a predatory chris de burgh. Sexual.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:18:44

Ah, but me and Sue love the Bublé now. The music, not so much.

Bollocks are they not primed. He's the best singer this series.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:18:47

I don't think Elton was a good choice.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:18:58

DH just said Oh mr chumley warner hmm

But then I hate Elton John songs.

Coukd they show the bubble again? <perv>

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:01

Bubbles was ace on Graham Norton, but it's funnier when we hate him


Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:03

don't turn, please don't turn!

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:13


HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:24

His voice is great.
Why aren't they picking him?

He is like the flubber lipped one.
They are just not picking him cos he all over the interwebs. Trying to be all cool. Wankers. We know.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:44

Poor Sam.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:19:56

They were daft not to turn for him, they have put worse through.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:20:14

Urgh. Shut up Danny, you twat.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:20:16

Danny looks like he's ....desiccating from the inside

Oh fuck off with your musical theatre nonsense.
And your singing, Danny. Your man was rasping to Londis and back, you know nuttin.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:20:32

Jazz hand, thats all that was missing .

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:20:43

The boychild will be the next Neil. Is it Neil Sedaka I'm thinking of?
I get confused with all the 70's Neils.

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:21:07

I'm here. Didja miss me?

How long before Danny starts hanging off the back of his swivvelly chair? You can take a boy away from the Waltzers...

I had to hide my face for a minute because Danny made me have that too embarrassed to look at the screen feeling.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:21:21

Aww, they were a bit tight there sad

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:21:26

Excuse typos btw, desperately trying to keep up on my phone.

Neil diamond?

Fools. They just turn away a percentage of good ones in order to pretend that it's not all staged a la Mingehead's show.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:21:58

Actually loling at Mia

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:22:29

Mia! You've missed Danny sitting up in his chair already. I think that merits a bingo drink, actually.

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:22:32

what has his dad got on his top lip?

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:22:33

Was his dad in Kool and the Gang?!

grin Mia. He does still retain a whiff of desperation and stale candy floss.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:20

Leave Neil Diamond alone I luffs him.

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:26

make him stand still

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:36

His dancing is very fevered- do you think he has thrush?

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:41

I'm watching, but I had a child on my lap. He's gone now - Jessie was annoying him. Bless.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:41


cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:44

Who is his dad?

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:23:47

Haha Danny regretting turning!

I have already seen more of Danny's scrawny white underarms than I ever wanted to.

Tom jones is loving it!

Not impressed with this one.............He is like a wet weekend in Bognor! hmm

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:12

oh bollocks- will this one pick Jessie?

Seems to be a lot of backing on this one...

very warbly

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:24

Haha they want jj to push her button cos they dont want him now

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:27

How come they are enhancing his voice with a clubby echo mike? Hardly seems fair.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:32

The Neil thing was a compliment!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:33

dunno why they all love this one?

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:36

he's all over the place

they know he's a pretty boy!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:43

Why are they turning? It's Eurotrash at its worst

Him and JJ in her pleather, Boffles. The Canesten Twins.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:51

How the fuck can they turn for this screetcher but not the kid before!

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:52

Oh come on, where's the beardy weirdys?

The 80 yr old part time exotic dancers?

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:25:00

He's like a paler Peter Andre.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:25:05

I tell you - he bounced the SHIT out of that invisible basketball.

Ds (2) has just sang the exact same note that Tom turned on. Then covered his ears!

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:25:07

Mia- you have brought your child up wellgrin

Oh look, Danny. Musical theatre.

I want another joy of sex couple. I feel cheated.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:25:41

Danny didn't spot THAT musical theatre, did he? Twat.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:26:42


chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:26:48

are we counting how many times Danny says 'you know'?

Joy of sex couple were ace!!

Remember last year the one that was a cocky Joseph, prepared to disappoint literally DOZENS of fans by ducking out of a theatre run? What will become of this bloke's play?

Danny really must have no friends, I kind of pity him now.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:26:58

Very fresh, very new, Danny? Yeah, if this is 1994.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:00

Toms face is the same colour as his chair. It just looks likes 2 eyes and a mouth suspended in the air

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:01

Yy, bring on the out-there oddballs. They're all a bit samey so far.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:07

PMSL did Danny just say he was gifted?! Maybe the are playing different music through the TV because they are hearing something I'm not.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:23

Go Danny- cos he is lying, and doesn't want you at all

Why is he hold the mic right to his lips. Pisses me right off that!

I liked the music. And the eroticism, glaikit.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:46

snort at canesten and danny not making a musical theatre comment

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:49

Is he related to the St Pedro d'Andre?

And why all the dramatic decision making?

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:27:54

Danny's got friends. There's the bloke who is wedged into the carousel booth for a start.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:12

Ah well, at least she can advise on pleather choices.

He looks like the Purple Glittery Cocked one, he does. it's the 90s hair.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:21

Not obvious that he was going to pick her at all, oh no.


Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:23

Good. He was crap.

Why did he keep saying 'this time'?
Will he get another go?

The guy from g4 wanting to be Jesus Sue??

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:38

jessie again? do these people know that a) tom won last year and b) will is the person with all the connections?
how do people in da biz not know this??

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:50

Ohh sneaky willie, I was right.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:28:52

So he's basically saying that Danny had no chance of getting him?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:03

Blimey- is she sponsored by Marlboro?

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:11

Sneaky Willy.

My DH has one of those.. Usually about 6:30 am

He don't, Mia. He spends his days off working the Hall of Mirrors, so he can pretend.

Is this really the woman from the Meatloaf Makes No Sense song? I feel a link to the literal vid.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:27

oh - duet with meatloaf grin

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:32

Oh she's like Pheobe and the Smelly Cat lady!!

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:46

I do hope this woman is going to do Bonnie Tyler. <crosses things>

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:48

Bonnie Tylers mum up next.

makes me wee

I can't believe she got no money from it sad

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:29:56

£10 on Lulu's SHOUT

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:07

dp predicting this one is going to do bonnie tyler grin

Meatloaf lady!!

I'm going to see mr meat in 2 weeks! Rock and roll baby!

This lady was on XF a few years ago. I remember her Meatloaf story!

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:34

Imagine the shame of being the woman Meat Loaf wouldn't do?

Missed opportunity to sing Bonnie T with a wind machine there

I want someone to sing 'hello' they are all missing a trick with that one.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:51

Tom will want her.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:52

Shocking she got no money from the song, she is the nest bit of the song!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:53

How can Tom resist this growler?


MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:31:04

So much pleather. Is it a 'thing'?

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:31:15

It is of course 20 years since the Meatloaf thing. And it shows.

She's doing 'shouty'

I saw Meatloaf on BookaBoo. He was quite skinny, and had bank manager hair. not a floaty shirt or sweaty face in sight.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:31:33

oh god the outfit..

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:31:37

Hazel grin

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:00

Dd says she needs to clear her throat.

How come she got no money? Was she paid in kind <boak>

It's bad when sir Tom can't even be arsed. He was her only hope.

Twice rejected. By the Loaf, and now by four nobodies in big chairs.
Man, how the Biz can cut you down.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:32

OMG sue you got to be joking bookaboo grin

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:36

<snort> @ Bookaboo

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:37

why did they not pick her????

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:45

'What's your background?'


StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:51

mock shock from judges

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:32:59

No you didn't you came to get a contract.

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:33:00

It's so utterly awful when none of them buzz isn't it.

This is the first time I've watched the show.


Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:33:22

Has S'Tom forgotten why he is there? She was a shoo-in for his group.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:33:26

I thought she was ok actually. More center parcs than butlins.

I'm telling you, he on Bookaboo. A story a day or he just won't play.

Primed, innit? Wankers. I may write a stern letter to Points of View.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:33:49

I think they could just hear that she was older, and couldn't be arsed.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:10

Back to the working mens club.

Arf at Danny Mansplaining to S'Tom. Do we think the silverback has turned off the hearing aids?

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:25

Alesha Dixon was on Bookaboo. ALL the big stars.

LOOK YOU, Hayley and Roy had CHILDREN.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:45

Ragsy hmm

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:51

DH wants to know why she never sang the meatloaf song. Makes sense.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:57

Welsh, and curly?
What might happen here?

WELSH children. How did that happen?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:34:59

ROAR at the silverback

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:35:03

You know when you get the 'location location location' story it means they have a boring life and no celeb connections.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:35:23

loving the accent

'I'm a chef' <cut to VT of him slicing part-baked rolls>
not a cook in a pub, then?

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:35:33

Bookaboo <shudder>
glad mine have got past that stage....

BOF think you are right there.
Is this next one a friend for Danny?

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:35:51

Goid grief skinny legs

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:36:11

Danny will be dying for him

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:36:13

Can we have a drink if STom(abag) chats about the valleys with him?

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:36:23

Ok- lets not bother with the tune, hey?

Danny and him can play guitars and wonder why they can't keep women, together. That'll be nice.

This one is a bit meh..................

Only just recognised this song. Not a good sign.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:04

I remember when this song had a tune

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:08

Nope not dope this one

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:10

Danny's found a friend

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:11

'He plays'

That was code for - I really want him. Please can I have his as my friend? Pleeeeeeease?'

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:27

He could've been Jesus, this one.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:36

I like him.

Is the mics primed?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:41

Does the big peace hand turn round to a Fuck Off if they don't turn round?

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:49

God, I really loathe Jessie.

Why do they do this? It's like they're singing the alto part or something.That's not the melody. So why bother? If you think you could do better, write a new song, you knob.
It's not 'arranging', it's just rude.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:38:26

Willie needs subtitles for this one.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:38:47

Sue -it is rude.

I do like his accent, though.

Gobby welshman with double denim.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:17

I love will but he really is full of shit grin

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:26

well I liked him

slopes off.........

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:27

Argh DP was on the xbox so I only just tuned in!

Didn't like him tho!

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:34

I get the feeling there is mutual 'wtf you saying' between ragsy and Bill.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:47

Shut up jessie.

Oooooh! He looks a bit uncomfortable!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:53

he sounds so sarcastic

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:40:18

Danny laughing so very very hard at his jokes.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:40:26

I'd like to sit underneath Sneaky Willie.

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:40:40

Jessie you are talking bollix. Shut up. She didn't turn round, so why does hse even get to talk. <fume, seethe, mutter, grumble>

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:40:54

Sit down, Jessie!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:40:59

why oh why does JJ have to be in on everything

Let him make a decision essie

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:21

Danny is used to rejection clearly

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:28

Why are they pretending they dont know who to go with. They've probably thought of nothing else for months.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:33

ahhh poor Danny-no-mates.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:39

this guy is funny

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:45

He doesn't want to pick S'Tom. But he's Welsh, innit, so he has to. Boyo.

Danny getting the Dear John grin

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:49

Offs get on with it

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:42:06

Ragsy was annoying. He can go out first round.

Arf @ its not you it's me!!

I like ragsy! He's my fab so far!


BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:42:20

Aw, they can make sweet welsh music together, while Danny presses his nose to the window and bemoans his lack of friends.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:43:00

I like Ragsy as he sarked at JJ.

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:43:22

But wouldn't you really want to go with Will, being he's global famous vs Danny and Jessie who are alright but like wanting Tulisa to be your mentor?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:43:45

Do you think STomabag will take off? It doesn't quite have the punchiness of Nanfucker.

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:43:46

I don't like Tom Jones... he looks like my dads sleazy mate down the pub...

Joy of sex??

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:09

Is this the Joy of Sex couple for the 21st century?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:09

oh these two look sickly

He was slightly funny, Slightly. It's just that compared to the panel, he's a hoot unparalleled.

I have high hopes for this couple.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:18

Yay! A Joy Of Sex couple!

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:18

JOS couple - the pilates version?

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:21

Oh god, vomtastic!

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:28

'Smith and Jones'



chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:38

he looks so embarrased bless him

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:39

Oh no not the new Joy of Sex couple youth style.

Oops maybe not bit rocky.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:51

like the way he wiped his mouth after she kissed him

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:44:53

Joy Of Sex Jnr.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:00

They are like the couple out of Nashville, but not good.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:06

Joy of Hipster Spooning?

More joy of third base couple........

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:26

I'm cringing amd they haven't even started.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:29

I don't think he's that into her...

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:37

Fuck me these people are nauseating!

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:39

grin at the xposts.

S'Tomabag <weeps>

still lolling.

JoS mark II, YY. What a shit name.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:56

I love this song.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:01

Joy of iSex couple

Pass me the sick bucket please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two, is it Jessie? sharp as a fucking knife, that one

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:07

JOy of Snuggling for a bit, just until I come out of the closet couple?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:07

actually even though they are vomtastic I quite like them

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:11

Ooh, I like her voice. They ARE like the Nashville duo. Scarlett and Thingy.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:23

But only when Paolo is singibg it.

Betcha a pound they try to split them up

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:44

Rah I don't think he is either he must knows he can use her musically.

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:51

She will go postal if they don't get buzzed!

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:46:59

She's way better than him.
She should dump him.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:12

BOGOF friends for Danny

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:13

no I take that back

Two friends for the price of one there, Danny Boy
<taps head> smart finking.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:30


cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:38

Danny gets 2 for the price of one.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:46


Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:50

Now- if this was X factor- they'd tell her to ditch the dweeb.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:56

Joy of first youth more like it I get them impression he would find sex icky of he can't even handle kissing.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:04

are we betting on domestic carnage over the next few weeks? grin

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:17

I'm sitting here going lalalalalalalala with my fingers in my ears.

YY, Hazel. She'd want to watch him with Danny.
He wants to be in Wand Erection. No really, IN Wand Erection.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:22

These pair are making my teeth hurt

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:25

Oh dear oh dear. She is embarrassing herself.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:44

They just boss Danny about, don't they?
Poor, wipe-cleanble schmuck.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:53

It represents like love you know

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:48:57


BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:49:25

She doesn't realise she's a beard, does she?

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:49:27

I get it she is the voice, but he is the spokes person.

Will-I-Were just talks pure shite. Not even funny. I only like him when he's crying at his own songs.

Cringe o rama

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:49:46


NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:49:49

Joy of Pecks more like.


Beard? She's fucking Brian Blessed.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:49:55

was that s'tom's code for "a had a couple last year and it was a bloody nightmare - good luck danny" wink

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:50:03

"blend well together" Danny wants a threesome....

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:50:06

Danny and mini-oen even brush their quiffs to the same side.

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 19:50:37

Has Sneaky Willy got anyone yet?

The Couple of Vom.

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:01


LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:06

Lol Jessie gets that the guy is a knob.

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:31

Oh fuck me Jean Val Jean

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:32

Woohoo Boffy, Les Mis

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:38

Sobstory alert

another one from the west end
Huzzah, a Nan story.

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:48

Sob story alert...

Oh god, tissues out <parps nose loudly>

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:49

I fucking love Enjolras!

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:52

loving will-he-be turning down jessie's offer of a date
ah - mus-i-cal theeeeeatre again hmm
oh - and sad story!

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:57


mum47 Sat 06-Apr-13 19:51:58

Really liked that young couple tho!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:07

she said 'thought I was going to be the first one to wet myself on stage' cut to Danny who says 'I was waiting for that smile

Bobinogs hat, BookaBoo guests. It's jeffing Cbeebies Nite.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:16

Sob story alert.

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:34

Is it me or are Nan stories Ll the rage now a days...

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:38

God more musical theater. Whats with the mini bios this year. I couldn't give a,fuck about them. I only want to point and laugh.

He'll sing a Nanfucker song, to add to the poignancy

mum47 Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:51

You just beat me to the dead nan comment Noel..

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:09

the vom was for cuddly couple btw - i love les mis..
love his voice - this woman's work!!

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:11


Jimmy Somerville in Compo's bobble hat. Interesting.

Woman work!

Is that her off emmer sake supporting him?

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:40

Hmm too Musicsl theatre now eh!

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:44

He, er, doesn't have the sex appeal of Aaron Tveit sad


AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:53

Pfft look at danny boy trying to look cool with his feet up!

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:02

Nan has no life in her though. Being brown bread and all.


cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:08

Hmm dead person story and falsetto <flashback> to My Mate Amy.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:19

Is this dedicated to Nan sad

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:23

weird how he squeals then goes deep

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:28

Maxwell covered this.
Anyone else remember Maxwell?

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:32

Ooh screechy!

Another Crowded House song destroyedangry

An ovation? Really?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:12

ahhh nan would be proud

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:15

Was Maxwell Pavadise man?

Did crowded house sing this??

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:16

not Crowded House- Kate, obviously.!

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:21

My nan died - I can't sing but do you reckon they'll give me a shot anyway?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:27
cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:36

Maybe only one bollock has dropped.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 19:55:41

Glaikit- sorrygrin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:56:14

another for jessie

Danny's bloody hairs!!

Poor Tom, it's easy to get confused at his age.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:56:56

s'tom thought he was getting a girl or a couple <snort>

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:00

Tom grin thought it was a girl

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:02

So much for Danny's ability to spot musical theatre voices. Twat.

Where's BOF gone?? <follows breadcrumbs>

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:17

No! Maxwell is an american soul singer!
Can't remember Pavadise Man's name. He'll always be just 'Pavadise Man' to me.

Kind of looks like the cat in Red Dwarf . ish

VivaLeBeaver Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:37

Willy sounds very insincere there.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:48

just choose already

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:51

He should do the Half Woman/ Half Man thing!

Wig and lipstick on one side, tuxedo on the other. His USP!

Thank me later Benny-hat man

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 19:57:53

Jessie or Bill.I.Bunter

PAva, pava, pavadise? that one?

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 19:58:58

I saw Maxwell singing outside TV studios in NYC. Friend of the stars me.

None of them really want this one, do they?
Just the voices in their heads telling them to turn.
Danny likes the voices. It gets so lonely when they go quiet.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:08

i have just pocketed 5 points on the predictor game
<easily pleased>

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:18

Very smart move

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:29

why has he tucked his hat under?

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:33

Kym Myzelle?????

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:52

Kym MAzelle????

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:53

Kym Mazelle?!?!?!?!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:08

Who is this?

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:10

Yep, Pava, pava, pavadise man - what was his name?

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:11

Maybe Aaron will come to the West End to replace him? <hopeful>

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:20


I remember her with blow monkeys doing a song called 'wait'

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:25


HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:34

Jessie is going to WET HERSELF. FOR REAL. at Kym MAzelle.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:40

OK sorry for the typo blush

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:58

Took some time out? Didnt get any more calls ?

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 20:01:12

She has a very recognisable voice IMO I can't see how Tom at least won't recognise it.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:01:23

those jeans do her no favours

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:01:27

Bold choice

Was it soul II soul Alexandra burkes mum was in?

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:01:36

Pavadise Man was Cassius Henry

Apparently. I shall always call him Pavadise Man

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:01:57

yup soul to soul

Omg I wet myself! I LOVE kym mazelle she is the best yet!

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:13

what is that face danny is pulling?

looks like he has stepped in poo

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:18

Cant believe shes on this, what a come down .

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:21

Ok maybe not so recognisable when she isn't being disco.

There's Tesco Mary's last outfit, topped with a coat made from 101 domestic cats.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:35

horrid song

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:40

ooh- awkward

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:47

The comebacks never get buzzed do they

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:52

Wow no one turned, shows what can happen with bad song choice.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:57

WTF shock

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:00

This is quite sad - sort of how the mighty have fallen.

They are PRIMED I tells ya

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:37

No-one recognised her name when she said ithmm

I'm sad now. I might turn over.

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:42

Will clearly having no idea who she is!

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:53

That moment when....

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:54

Will did

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:58


<cringe maximum>

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:15

Did anyone see that episode of Curb Your enthusiasm, where Larry picks up a hooker so he can drive to the baseball match in the car pool lane? She looks familiar.

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:26

Definitely a bizarre song choice.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:33

Its Kym Mazelle!!! Whats wrong with them?

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:48

This is making me uncomfortable now.

It's so awkward this bit <hugs self>

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:51

I've had to mute and hide I can't bare awkward moments. blush

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:54

Glaikit - yep, Alexandra Burke's mum WAS in Soul II Soul.
To be fair, they changed their lead artist quite a lot.
JazzieB was a bit handsy, appara.

Dont agree with her being allowed to sing and she so expected everyone to know who she was! I'm glad she didnt get through!!!

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:05:02

Bill. Bo. Baggins knew the name but couldn't place it

Raahh Spain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:05:15

'Enough is enough'

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:05:26

I am honestly amazed that JJ did not know her.

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 20:05:35

Poor song choice - agree.
<3 more points in predictor game grin>

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:06:01

oooh bad hair alert

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:06:07


I thought they said his name was Nadine grin
Sob story -check
Stupid hat - check

He's through.

AuntieMaggie Sat 06-Apr-13 20:06:12

Another one...

chickensaladagain Sat 06-Apr-13 20:06:25

I've seen this one playing in a bar

Me and my mate to a mean karaoke version of enough is enough!

It's raining, raining
It's pouring, pouring.......

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:06:52

Don't sing Wonderwall.

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:02

Do you think his hair comes off with his hat?

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:02

Hat hmm

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:04

bad hat.. very bad hat

MiaCulper Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:28

'Tis all hats and pleather, innit? If I get myself a pleather hat, I've won.


SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:53

What like Lego hair BOF?

And a double-Irish mash-up. Danny may make a sex face

teejwood Sat 06-Apr-13 20:07:58

he's doing a mash-up - with a geeeetar - calling friend for danny, calling friend for danny...

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:09

He has to beg for his friends.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:10

Weller isn't the first choice as a hair idol.

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:21

Mutual nodding. I feel dirty

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:27

Was hoping for "Wherever I Lay My Hat (Theres My Wig) sad

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:29

better than I thought he was going to be

Jessie is making a poo face
This must be good.

S'Tom still has the hearing aid off

mum47 Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:50

Noelgrin Dead pet alert next?

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:08:55

BOF grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:00

DOuble-Irish! Yes Sue!!!
Danny is going to gaze longingly at him like a labrador looking at some food.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:00

Danny is desperate for nobody else to turn around

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:18

Danny has a friendy-wendy

BOF Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:27

Ooh, good username, Suffolk! envy

LittleBairn Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:31

Jessie pooing...
Danny sexing...

Yip they liked it. grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:42

Someone veet his fucking arms for christs sake

TSSDNCOP Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:43

Ah the hair-o-meter picked again.

cocolepew United States Sat 06-Apr-13 20:09:54

New friend alert!

Hairy arms alert!