Secrets of a good marriage...

(141 Posts)
Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:02:50

Whose watching? Who's hoping to pick up tips. Who could give tips?

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:07:18

I am watching but am not married so not sure about tips! Have been with DP for nearly 10 years so perhaps there will still be useful tips...

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:07:43

I want to punch the chauvinist already and he's only been on screen for 10 seconds!

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:08:11

Not sure I would want to take sex tips from this couple - he is a bit creepy?!

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:09:11


Started with tantric sex couple (gulp). "Do you get the idea?" Sickly. They have sex all day apparently in various ways.

He looks like he still has 'bitty'

laughinglikeadrain Wed 02-Jan-13 22:09:16

Essence of himself?

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:09:18

So you have to like drinking cold tea.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:09:46

Do they have kids?

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:09

I wouldn't take a cup of tea from him nevermind sex tips!

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:20

And she has ugly feet!

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:31

Am watching. 'Essence of Roland' boak..

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:31

This is unbeleavable! LOL "I hope I don't come"

judefawley Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:50

God, Roland is creepy!

pegster Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:56

I wouldn't let Roland touch me & definitely wouldn't 'drink his essence' - yuck!

MikeLitorisHasChristmasLights Wed 02-Jan-13 22:10:57

Eww. Just eww.

Sex noises with a foot massage.

Cringe cringe cringe.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:11:15

I wonder what happens after a smoothie grin

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:11:16

I think I would be sick in that situation - I hate feet at the best of times...

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:11:30

Yeah I'd wash my hands too Sharon. Boak.

kilmuir Wed 02-Jan-13 22:11:44

no way would i touch his feet

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:11:47

Don't get your 'bitty' comment op.. [Hmm]

Yama Wed 02-Jan-13 22:12:07

What has Sharon been in? She's a tad annoying. The couples must be a bit self obsessed not to get that she's mocking them.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:12:14

My DH just keeps saying "OMG" and yawning. I'm making him watch it.

TheWombat Wed 02-Jan-13 22:12:17

'His essence in the tea' <yuk>
Arf @ 'I hope I don't come'.

How is it that this couple are possibly the least sexy couple ever?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:12:44

See I like having my feet rubbed but I would never rub dp's feet, thankfully he is happy with this arrangement.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:13:12

Okay - so this is NOT the marriage I would want but at least these two found each other and they seem to make each other very happy. I wonder what they are like the rest of the time - do you think they are this sickly all the time?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:13:27

Yes Sharon has been in something else? Don't remember what.

threestars Wed 02-Jan-13 22:14:06

is it embarrassing bodies??

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:14:19

I hope her husband knows that she has sex with other men - otherwise he is in for a big shock!

Oh I just wouldn't with Roland. Ever.

Twas very funny tho grin

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:14:30

Ooh is the next woman the one that sleeps with other married men?

judefawley Wed 02-Jan-13 22:14:58

She was in the Borrowers last Christmas.

And probably a bit more than that.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:15:04

Taking lovers through lack of sex... hmm

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:15:23

Yama - Dead Boss, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, The Borrowers (she was the Mum), Free Agents, Pulling.

She's been in loads of stuff, usually as the same character.

pegster Wed 02-Jan-13 22:15:59

Sharon was in Pulling but not seen her for a few years now

perplexedpirate Wed 02-Jan-13 22:15:59

You couldn't be like that all the time surely. How could clean the hair from the plug hole sexily, or put the bins out looking into the essence of your partner's soul?
It'd be a right ball-ache.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:07

She has written and appeared in shows such as The Pilot Show and the first series of The Friday Night Project [1] while her acting credits include Absolute Power, Broken News and Rob Brydon's Annually Retentive. She appeared in the feature film Imagine Me and You and provided a voice in the animated film Valiant.
Horgan hosted the comedy news quiz Have I Got News for You on 3 June 2011.Horgan also co-wrote and stars in Dead Boss, a British sitcom set in Broadmarsh Prison and also starring Jennifer Saunders. The first episode of this 6-part BBC series aired on the 14th of June 2012.[4]

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:12

Oh and op my tip, 15 years and five kids is to not fall into the habit of taking each other for granted and try and make time for each other. Very easy to get bogged down by life, especially once you have children.

sailorsgal Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:22

Dry humping. You mean I don't have to get my knickers off?? grin

wednesdaygirl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:46

Do they not work? Go food shopping? Housework? Kids?
You cant poss have sex all day

Actually, now I've seen Roland in action everything just seems to have puckered up. Is that Tantric?

wednesdaygirl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:18:06

From behind the next women looks like a man in drag

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:18:07

Foreplay at Lidel. hmm

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:18:14

Oh yes the borrowers!

Ha ha so true perplexed nothing sexy about cleaning the logo or the plug hole or changing shitty nappies or cleaning up puke. Did tantric couple have any children?

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:18:21

They're "tantric sex instructors" Wednesday.

Don't get to close to a naked flame Luella.

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:19:30

Is she meant to be in disguise? Cos it's shit.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:19:32 in drag grin

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:20:10

Oh dear god what does she look like?!

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:20:45

Her kids are 13 and 15? They're not going to thank her for doing this!

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:20:51

Celibate marriage... Does her husband know she shags other booked then?

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:21:03

So do her children know about her 'alter ego' or has she sat them all down together to watch the programme together?

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:21:06

She's got a hanging belly. How does that work?

Yama Wed 02-Jan-13 22:21:25

Thanks JudeFawly, MrsReiver and Dysgu. It must have been HIGNFY I saw her on.

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:22:03

Booked not booked. Oh he does know and says its OK as long as she doesn't leave him, that's quite sad and I feel sorry for him that she is on TV tbh.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:22:21

She gets her extra sausage from the butchers shock

God that wig is awful. Worse in the daylight.

670,000 shock

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:23:10

And yes her poor children sad she isn't putting her children first by airing it all on channel four...

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:23:32

Waves at missbeehiving

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:24:10

School's going to be fun for them next week!

<snogs 5mad>

<wearing a bad wig>

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:24:41

This marriage is worse than the first one. The first couple were happy together - these two are certainly not happy together - I am not even really sure if they are happy separately. Poor chap!

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:24:56

husband must have low self esteem or may be gay

sailorsgal Wed 02-Jan-13 22:25:49

These two have been on another programme too.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:26:01

No problem with age gap but he must have missed out on a lot of stuff if they met when he was 18 and she was 50.

MrsReiver Wed 02-Jan-13 22:26:15

I'm sure I've seen this pair on tv before, they're absolutely besotted with each other.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:26:24

Is this a bit like paedophillia????

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:27:56

<pukes in mouth slightly at wigged kiss>

Not sure what to make of next couple, 16yrs is good going.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:28:38

actually ... no.

purpleprincess Wed 02-Jan-13 22:29:17

Yes was a programme about guess what ....age gap relationships! Trouble with these progs which are v amusing but all the people on them are v extreme but I guess 'normal' people would be boring....hmm

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:29:26

It is a touch creepy but again, they are happy together and it has obviously lasted for a long time. Still think it is a bit sad that he has missed out of 'growing up' and she is a mother-replacement really.

I don't like him very much.

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:29:58

'Mother and lover'

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:30:08

I'm his mother and his wife...balk..

Yama Wed 02-Jan-13 22:30:29

Can't believe Norma said what we were all thinking - "I'm his Mother and his lover."

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:30:51

He looks older than he is and seems to have not grown up in other ways?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:31:11

Oh dear good sexist arsehole up next...

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:31:33

I feel a "leave the bastard!" coming on for the next one.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:32:28

I wonder how his parents have felt about the whole thing. I think I would be sad and also wonder if they have stuck together so long almost because of all the anti- stuff they had in the early days.

Yama Wed 02-Jan-13 22:32:41

Oh dear, don't think I'm going to like this next chap.

It's not really about happy marriages as much as super-freaky marriages is it?

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:33:19

I think the problem with sexist man is that he is living in the wrong century and is so blatant about it. What is his 'little woman' like?

perplexedpirate Wed 02-Jan-13 22:34:43

I liked Norma a lot more than Chris.
I didn't like his semi-embarrassed but slightly suggestive eyebrow raise when she was singing to him.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:34:46

So far though, apart from 'woman in wig with married lovers' they have been happy together. Does that mean they are originally like-minded and find each other or is one actually 'leading' the relationship and the other just kind of gets taken up by it all.

VestaCurry Wed 02-Jan-13 22:34:56

Got bored when the lady in the wig turned up and turned over (but was already bored with the tantric sexers).

ProphetOfDoom Wed 02-Jan-13 22:35:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:36:20

Agree re prog content Yama.

Oo hang on ... house husband hmm

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:37:52

Is this very different from SAHM and WOHMan but just the other way round?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:37:54

House husband seems OK.

judefawley Wed 02-Jan-13 22:39:11

I don't get this.

Why has he, as a SAHF, got to get used to 'spending her money'?

It's their money.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:39:17

He's only doing what women did for centuries...+ all the men's jobs grin

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:40:27

See, they both work hard - her outside the home and him in the home. I am not sure what the deal here is that makes it unusual.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:42:08

But they must live on s**t from jars?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:43:13

This seems a fine set up, they seem happy, it works and bits getting less unusual nowadays.

pegster Wed 02-Jan-13 22:43:24

This works well for them, happy & normal

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:43:46

If one of use gave up working outside the home (we currently both work fulltime outside the home), DP would be a much better SAHF than I would be SAHM. Not sure why she can't do bedtime in the week tho - if he does everything else then the kids would surely love to have mummy for stories and bedtime sometimes.

TheCrackFox Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:08

He also doesn't have very small children so I would love to know how he thinks he is working a 60hr week. The kids are at school much of the day.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:41

Surrendered wife? With a website!

LST Wed 02-Jan-13 22:45:09

he said 16

sailorsgal Wed 02-Jan-13 22:45:36

I think he meant he used to work a 60 hour week.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:45:51

I thought SAHF said he 'had' worked 60 hour weeks.

this surrendered wife seems to be reading her 'D'H's script.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:46:27

How would you express how you feel if you are not allowed to talk? Through the art of mime? grin

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:46:54

Surely if he drops his stuff on the floor then he should pick it up rather than her stop nagging and then just pick up after him.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:47:29

I could smack him...and i'm not violent!

TheWombat Wed 02-Jan-13 22:47:31

This couple are really disturbing.. hmm

SooFrustrated Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:28

"He wasn't doing anything wrong" ???? Aarrrgh

pegster Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:33

He's making me feel violent - I can't believe she's apologizing for talking.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:44

I bet he takes her like a lion grin

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:58

I think he might actually be the worst of the lot.

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:14

This books is a twat, lions?!!

TheCrackFox Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:17

Wow, what an arse.

kohl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:28

<runs into thread>

men and women ARE equal you massive TOSSBAG. The word you're searching for is DIFFERENT. EQUAL but DIFFERENT.


Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:31

Oh dear - do they have kids that they are raising in this awful way?

pegster Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:53

Though he hasn't actually got the brains he was born with if he genuinely believes there is no difference between a lion & a human shock

arwen110578 Wed 02-Jan-13 22:50:10

She seems very nervous to me

ProphetOfDoom Wed 02-Jan-13 22:50:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:50:33

It's his way or the highway. I wouldn't want a SonIL like him.

arwen110578 Wed 02-Jan-13 22:51:17

The wife that is...
What a prize c**t

oooggs Wed 02-Jan-13 22:51:29

The twins one looks interesting!!!!! My b/g twins are going to marry each other wink

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:52:10

I hope the kid's school see this and slip her a leaflet about domestic violence and control the next time she's at the school gate.

greenplastictrees Wed 02-Jan-13 22:52:14

I knew there'd be a thread about it. That man made me stabby. What a sexist idiot!

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:52:50

Bloke is a twat not books is a year. He was a dick end of and she is just putting up with it as that seems easier, well it won't seem easier in five years time when he is still a serkfish arsehole and her son will grow up to be entitled twat as well.

ProphetOfDoom Wed 02-Jan-13 22:52:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:53:19

I wondered if she actually wanted to leave him but didn't know how to go about it. She probably isn't allowed to access the internet so cannot join MN to ask for advice.

kohl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:55:36

Oh God.

Chas looks broken.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:55:41

That almost sounded like they swap partners?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:56:51

I thought that dysgu but I don't think they do?

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:57:11

I could do this one I think. I'd like the company of another. Is that wrong?

newgirl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:57:38

I thought tantric couple looked very happy - could do witha few more walks in day with dh myself ;)

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 22:57:40

I couldn't I value my privacy etc.

Yama Wed 02-Jan-13 22:58:22

"I'm laid back and Chas is ... almost comotose." Fucking grin

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 22:58:26

House looks like a pub.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:58:43

No 5mad I don't think they do, it just sounded like that was what he was inadvertantly saying.

This one doesn't seem so strange really. Did it say how many kids they have between them - are yes, just doing that bit now.

judefawley Wed 02-Jan-13 22:59:25

My friend's mum and dad live with her aunt and uncle and have done for 40+ years. She grew up with her cousins.

It was a great set up for them, albeit in a huge house.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 22:59:31

Are the men twins too?

5madthings Wed 02-Jan-13 23:00:36

No the men aren't twins, friends tho?

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 23:00:49

No Dysgu

TheCrackFox Wed 02-Jan-13 23:02:13

The men could pass as brothers.

Dysgu Wed 02-Jan-13 23:02:41

I could do this one - either with my DSis and her family or ith DP's DSis and hers. And the cousins would all love living together.

actually, that is the only one I would choose out of all the couples in the programme.

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 23:03:33

DHs view. Tantric couple no. Twins yes.

Anybody want to share a big house? hmm

Arthurfowlersallotment Fri 04-Jan-13 18:01:10

Aaarrrrrrrggggh. Roland.

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