X Factor FINAL: Kick NF in The Baubles, Give Shitz Her Meds, Let's Vote for Chowmein or Pinhead

(978 Posts)

smile
I would like to see NF do please release me, with Borelow. Just to be ironic

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 18:28:31

Lovin' that title, Fellowship.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 18:30:04

I know Frankie Boyle is vile and I do really, really hate him, but when he said Pinhead looked like he had a baby's head with sheep's teeth I did laugh! blush

MissMogwi Sat 08-Dec-12 18:31:37

Someone on my Facebook has just posted a split screen of Sloth from the GOonies and James.
Harsh but grin.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 18:31:41

Great title
in case anyone missed them- here are some of the rumoured song choices

According to a rumour on twitter, these are the songs the winners are supposed to be singing(don't know if they are really singing them,given how hard they've worked to avoid song spoilers leaking all season).

Jahmene: Let It Be (The Beatles)
James Arthur: Impossible (Shontelle)
Chris Maloney: The Reason (Hoobastank)”

Hoobastank

I like this and really can't imaging Nanfucker singing it all. Well, i can. And it will be crap.

I c+ped this fromthe other thread- can be arsed to find hoobastank link againgrin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 18:32:36

He does though. grin

Team Chowmein here. I hate Pinhead's 'in it for the moozik, man' lack of humility.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 18:33:54

I feel I should like Chowmein- but this warbly-ness just offends my ears.

MissMogwi Sat 08-Dec-12 18:34:22

I don't care who wins as long as it's not NF. He is too orange and smarmy , oh and a twat

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 18:39:23

I'm team Chow Mein too.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 18:39:53

Oh, I don't like him. I don't like any of them. But Chowmein is the least annoying on a personal level. Pinhead is smug. Nanfucker is Nanfucker.
Team Chowmein.

Cheers dudes.

Chowmein and Let it Be shock he's going to Mariah it isn't he?
Was at dds carol singing at school today, one of the dads remarked even a bunch of out of tune 5 y/o half of whom didn't know the words sounded better than Nanfucker.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 18:48:17

you may have persuaded me Sue. I have wine. Soon I won't notice who is even singinggrin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 18:51:03

Yeah. But a massive part of me wants Nanfucker to win.
for the lulz, innit?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:03:41

What I still don't get is why tonight is the final,as wel las tomorrow.Why is tonight not the semi final? Would it have been different if they hadn't lost Spraggers?
why do i care?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 19:08:35

Evening ladies!

Dillydollydaydream Sat 08-Dec-12 19:11:31

Team anyone but NF

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 19:13:58

BTW, I voted for you Raah. In the NC comp <hard look at other XF Fredders>
I hear the prize is a Matt Cardle CD.

I think its because they used to go for the Chrimbo Number 1.

Then the Rage Campaign happened smile

I still say we should try and do one if NF wins.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 19:18:24

I voted for Raah too!

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:19:47

Evening all.

General knowlege question for you all: Is the winner being announced tonight? Or do we have to wait until tomorrow?

Team 'meh' here.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:20:45

thanksSue there are a few 'We3's' about so I am very surprised.-- I was first--

think Hec will win.

voteme

Really,just happy to be shortlisted...etc

links to voting page
grin

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:21:10

Yay MissElle!

I heard its tomorrow, just to really cream in those ad revenues and phone calls Katie

As an aside, am watching McFly. Is it fundamentally pervy and all kinds of wrong to think they are quite nice to look at now? I remember being all puppy fat with bad hair.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 19:24:17

I am watching the sparkly dancing and waiting for XF <bounces>

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:26:24

I love Strictly. 2 left feet, me.

There's a shortlist? Mine was crap though. sad

I will vote for you Raah if you have the linky grin

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:26:57

Ah, result tomorrow night then.

At least that means we get an extra XF thread on here out of it.

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 08-Dec-12 19:27:56

Chow mien gets on my tits.

NFC is a tit.

Got to be James.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:28:14

Fellow also watching the McFly show.

They are indeed very easy on the eye these days.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 19:28:57

Yeah, do the linky Raah. We XF peeps stick togevver <Phil Mitchell voice>

What do we have tonight then? I have a pot of tea and chocolate seashells.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:31:01

Awaits arrival of link - will be the only voting I'll be doing tonight .

I have a colosssal portion of oven chips cooking and some Robinsons squash on the go. Rock and roll, I tell you.

And a nice bottle of Merlot to be opened at 8pm sharp.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 19:31:31

Heavnink all

Team Whogivesafuck here really.

Looking forward to the song choices seeing as the underlying theme of this years comp seems to be Inappropriate-ness, starting with Ellas 'fuck you, you cheating bastard who's crying now' audition song that she said was inspired by erm, grandpa dying, and ending with Nanfucker and the Love That Can't Remember It's Name.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:31:57
GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 19:33:01

I've got sauv blanc and mince pies. It's fair to say my Low Carbing is finished for 2012 now

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:33:35

I have wine- won at the school Christmas fair, and twiglets. Because I am really classy.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 19:34:38

I am low carbing like a bastard. Apart from the chocolate. And dinner.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:34:54

shit I fucked up my own vote-rigging scamgrin

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 19:35:00

DH offered to take me out tomorrow night! I knocked him back because I couldn't miss the result of the final and this thread! blush.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 19:35:10

Thanks for the link Raahh.

I voted for Hec

grin I jest of course

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:37:49

Neighbours are letting off fireworks AGAIN.

Am beginning to think they do it to mark the arrival of the XF thread on here each week.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:37:58
KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:39:01

Have also popped a couple of breaded vegetable burgers int'oven alongside the mountain of chips.

Low carbing here too.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:39:28

grin @Katie

I have Coffee, pringles and Sour Mix Haribo. I am still off the gin until Christmas.

Well done Raahh- dp had a fivers worth at our school thing today. There were about 40 prizes, he won sod all.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 19:41:18

I want Louis in my stocking for Christmas! Am watching Strickly BTW!

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:42:39

MissElle grin

Did you tell DH the reason for not going out?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 19:46:38

Miss- way back inthe mists of time,(when i had a social life, and the final all happened on a Saturday) Dh's works do coincided with this twice. I was guttedgrin--and snuck off to the hotel room to check the results--

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 19:50:33

Yes Katie!grin. He said "you wait till I tell the blokes at work about this! Just proves my point, you can't bloody win with women!"

His work's do has clashed with the final twice too, Raah, I had to get DS2 to text me!

I have been known to fake illness so as not to miss an Xfactor final. Mind you, I really didn't fancy going where I was meant to be going, so felt justified.

My laptop is soooo slooooow this evening. Am trying to find teal wallpaper which isn't too patterned and isn't £9 a bloody roll. Found out my sis has the same sodding wallpaper as me angry

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 19:54:10

Ooh yes McFly are looking a bit..erm.. grown up aren't they?

<fans self>

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 08-Dec-12 19:55:36

I will vote for the first time ever for Chowmein, because he's a lovely boy...
<maternal> and to try and keep Nanfucker out.
I haven't voted ever since Will won Pop Idol.

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 19:58:04

Evening ladies

I'm tea and After eight handed, so good to go..

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 19:58:31

Flaming sofa ads.

Two on the trot.

Who's buying all these sofas with the massive big round seat on them anyway?

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 19:59:13

I want a new sofa, DH won't let me!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 19:59:25

Oh good, Emile Sande. We've not heard much from her recently...

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 20:00:09

Tonight's show is two hours long! confused

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:00:22

Oi Boffles. They'll Go Home in a VT, won't they? Ddid Liverpool turn out for NanFucker? Did you?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:00:28

dH just walked in and said 'so, two songs from Nanfucker then?' We have mumsnetted him!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:00:31

HERE WE GO!!!

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:00:42

People with very very large bums? Katie

Katie those sofas are farcking awful aren't they?

Emeli Sande, the most overworked article since Kerry Katona's nose retired.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:01:49

Oh, Sue- Nanfucker took a ferry across the mersey,and everything. Sadly,it didn't sink.

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:02:11

DS just called him Nanfucker.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:02:25

We've already had waaaaaay too many shots of the fuckers doing the Praying Hands
Stoppit.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:02:47

So is one act going tonight then?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:00

how old is your ds Liney- <prays he's over 7>

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:08

Is Dermot allowed to win it?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:20

no.

just no.

Oh, god I've been up since 4am, I can't stay awake until 10 unless I find whatever Shitz gets hold of sharpish.

I would love it if they would set up a live link between the studio and Simon Cowell's house as the results are read out- just to see his face defy the botox if Nanfucker wins.

MissMogwi Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:29

Cringe

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:35

Did h? 'cross the Merseeeeee?

I would like him to win, then be beaten by the Hillsborough song. To show what L'pool think of him

Wtf is Dermie at? twat.

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:44

Oh he's 14, don't worry about him. Urban youth and all that.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:55

Hurrah! Here we go...

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:03:56

Do have a soft spot for Dermot dancing

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:04:06

I can't believe it's come to this. 100 years ago, when this series first started, we were all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, confident there would be some talent. We're left with NanFucker, Slightly Too Weird Guy and At Least He Can Sing A Bit Guy. Tragic.

Why the atual fuck did they
a) have that cringeworthy Britney lookalike on
b) think we are all daft and don't know Louis is a lover of the pork?

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 08-Dec-12 20:05:07

Wasn't Nanfuckers personal appearance an average age of 82 or something?
He's going to win isn't he, with the nan vote and the 'ironic' vote?
I think I'll cry.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:05:17

'canny and sharp' is NOT how I would describe the XF judges.
I'll give you 'balls'. For Shitz anyway.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:05:38

I've just made a phlegmy noise because a Paracetomol scraped my throat on the way down, and DS2 called me Nanfucker!shock

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:01

Hassled indeed.

I really thought MelMnFairy shouty lady stood a chancegrin

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:02

Where is this being held, does anyone know?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:12

How the fuck can Dulisa breathe in that?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:19

I think the Brum NEC Boffles.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:38

Dullisa has a look of Hilary Devey in that titles VT.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:49

Ooh, Tulisa is done up like a little Christmas fairy hmm

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:06:51

Oh this is crap DH has took the tablet thingy with him tonight so I'm having to sit in the dining room and sort of twist my head round to watch the TV. angry

Dullisa's dress sponsored by Good Year tyres there.

And clearly Shitz nicked hers off Lily Savage.

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:07:10

Im watching the final tonight only so that i can see simon cowell run on stage & shoot nanfucker when he wins. (if only)

Dermot looks so camp when he is dancing.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:07:21

Why does Dullisa dress like she's bought up the bankrupt stock of Miss Selfridge? The rest of us outgrew the stiff petticoat look at 11.Not very urban.

Comes to something when Rylan leads them in.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:07:50

Stop saying Manchester. You're making me nervous.

Oh ffs.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:07:52

Lovely lovely Rylan

He's like a lovely warm hug

MissMogwi Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:06

Roar at the scooters WTAF grin

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:08

Have I accidentally taken drugs

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:16

Oohhh yeah!

It's like the Olympics colsing ceremony all over.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:18

WTAF?

Kicked out a week ago and miming now!

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:28

WHAT THE FUCK?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:30

Spraggers!!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:30

Ooh, Spraggers!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:43

Spraggers looking soulful. And the rest that we've already forgotten.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:08:55

Love Spraggers- good lass.

Is anyone looking at at least half that stage thinking, Britain has no actual talent left sell out enough to audition?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:21

See? Ella was awful

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:27

I have forgotten most of this lot. Kye just came back to me like a morning crap after a bad curry.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:44

Has Harald the Flat joined the babyshits?

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:49

I agree. Ella was awful

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:53

Oh fuck off with your fucking waving!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:56

Isn't it funny how soon you forget who was init?

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:09:57

Evening all. I just can't stay away.

I absolutely agree fellow. None of them were really good enough to win.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:03

Oh look Rylan.
He's got his career sorted now hasn't he. I caught him on Daybreak yesterday and he's rather sweet and lovely.
Can't fucking sing though.

dippyDoohdah Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:13

new to thread so apologies if this has already been said, but has anyone else noticed that nf is actually just lily savage out of drag and a hell of alot more..hateable?!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:17

I blinked and missed PissHoles Kye

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:20

Chow mien looks like a little doll between those two.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:28

Aww Jahmene is only tiny!

I hate Nanfucker too much

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:10:52

Chowmein is very wee.

Aww.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:16

Why does Nanfucker have to give an Oscar speech?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:16

Not a flicker of nerves.
Lolling at the rumbles that Dermie tried to squish. Nope. We noticed.

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:17

Bloody slow MN loading here tonight, anyone else?

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:27

Oh dear NF is so very, very orange....

InkleWinkle Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:28

Were MK1 there?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:30

DON'TLET NANFUCKER SPEAK.

HE DOESN'T STOP.

(shouting intentional)

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:37

Wow that was all a bit much for me, I'm going to eat frazzles to get over it

InkleWinkle Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:44

Not that I'm actually bothered.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:11:59

hmm at dermot calling the dancers harletans

fucking rude

Yep, dippy, great minds think alike wink

Ella, she's only 16 you know.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:11

Pinhead looks like he has a Hitler 'tache. Brave move there love.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:11

And 04 if you want them all to just FUCK OFF NOW

booing for Nanfooker - really who is voting for the smary little git?

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:14

He's going to win isnt he?

I've no one to screech at when he does.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:16

shock the audience actually booed NF!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:16

Didn't see Primark 1, no. Shame.

They in Dundee, praps? In the conference centre?

apparently Pinhead now the bookies fave

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:18

Boos for nanfucker

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:26

oooh,that horrible leer when he turns round on the vt <shudder>

cardibach Sat 08-Dec-12 20:12:38

Ooo lots of booing in the studio for Nanfucker (again).

Must be more careful, just said to DH "nanfucker gives me the boak"

DD (age 3) nanfucker gives me the boak too mummy.

shock I didn't realise she was in the living room.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:13:23

Ella was only 16. Blimey. No-one EVER said.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:13:33

The more they boo, the more the goblin part of me wants to actually vote.
Lucky for y'all I've lost my mobile.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:13:37

Right as much as I love to hate NF, I don't like the booing.

I'll be fine once I neck more wine though <boooo>

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:14:13

blushgrin @ Terra

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:14:18

Just voted James again.. NF cannot win, but the bastards going to isn't he?

I can't tell whether it's morning sickness I have or a kin of radiation sickness from seeing Nanfucker on the tv. Either way I can't stop throwing up when he's on.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:15:52

hmm also at dermot for cutting christopher off when he said hwos it feel to be here tonight, didnt let him
answer then said in a arsey way alright everyone.....
cutting him right off mid reply angry at dermot

plus they gave james arthur the best lines and he got to finish the song

dont get me wrong i do think james arthur is the best by far, but i fucking hate the sneeky ways they try to manipulate the public

so im voting maloney, as they really really do not want him to win

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:16:03

Geraldine its definately seeing his orange face on the tv smile

Opps terra blush

If its any consolation, my dd used to have a mouth like a sewer at that age- she used to sing "Bob the Builder, He's a Jackass" due to my dneph. On explaining I did not want her to sing that, he replied "well, I could've taught her he's a cunt instead".

That was when I sent his arse back to London. Luckily, dd misheard it as prunt instead

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:17:24

TBF YellowOrchid Nanfucker did go on a bit there, he didn't have to give an Oscar speech!

I'm mortified. I hope she forgets before nursery school on Tuesday.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:18:12

whiteandyello - he did that because Nanfucker was being booed.

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:18:12

grin terra

Whilst reading that dd2 who is 6 just said 'i luv me nan' - even she's picked up on it - i hope she hasn't been reading the thread!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:18:24

but*white*- he was going on way too long, the other two kept it short. He'd still be talking now, if Dermott hadn't stepped in.grin

Aff at lamb shank

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:18:32

Nnnnooooo orchid hes fine, he's got his nan - you don't need to vote, honest!

Lamb Shank? Lamb fucking shank? hmm confused

Does anyone else think Chowmein looks like Morph?

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:18:37

PMSL Terra!grin

ARF is what I meant.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:19:02

Shitsinger in Asda. Bet she stocks up on the SmartPrice vodka.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:19:15

its not just thta he was cut off mid speech, they are deliberity trying to not give him a chance and gearing it all up for james.

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:19:16

white don't you dare angry

He just doesn't shut up!

Scherzinger is my idol. She's so random. She's like a shoulder of pork. Or a chipolata. Or something else unrelated to anything.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:19:48

Look at Shitzy wandering round Asdas like she's visiting a zoo

TheregoesBod Sat 08-Dec-12 20:19:54

Chow mein now is a proper lamb shank...

Shitz obviously not au fair with rhyming slang then

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:04

i am bloody well voting for him!!!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:24

y'know- despite my dislike of his voice, i get Chowmein has had some stick for beinga bit 'different'- and there he is with Shitsinger. Bet he's well chuffed. And at his church. Awww. grin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:26

<sings Pulp's Common People>

Anyone else on the edge of seat for The Hair?

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:33

See Shitsinger is on form tonight. Do you think shes had one bottle of vodka or two.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:41

I did my nurse training in Swindon. I went out with the Health Visitor around that estate!

cardibach Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:57

If they are gearing it up for James, it's only because Nanfucker would be sucj a disaster for the show - it would never have any credibility did it ever? again.

grin Geraldine

Why was that girl with questionable dentistry crying? She worked with him until 10 minutes ago.

Oh here we go, sobstory alert!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:21:02

yep, lamb shank wasn't a good onegrin

I hope she stays on x factor forever. For Xmas I want her as a friend.

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:21:39

Mum of chow mien really really needs to find a new hairdresser

I've never been there, but has sod all else exciting ever happened in Swindon before?

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:21:51

Can't BELIEVE Ma Mein has got rid of the bunches

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:00

Oh dear. i can already tell this will be painful

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:04

I am warming to Chowmein. Best of a truly awful bunch.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:22

I met DH there Fellowship!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:40

I KNOW Greeny. Sad.

They shouldn't let him do up-tempo. It goes all Carlton doing Tom Jones again.

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:41

Yes, I love Shitzinger. She looks like Brunette Barbie, but is as mad as a box of frogs.

This should be illegal. Curtis Mayfield will be rolling in his grave right now if he's dead, I can't remember

Arisbottle Sat 08-Dec-12 20:22:54

This is bad, he is yelping like my dog

I cant believe i voted for Christopher.............. I want James to win but I like Jahmene I love Move On Up........reminds me of Bend It Like Beckham!!grin

Aww bless MsElle sorry Swindon!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:39

He sort of anticipates the high note. Which is painful.

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:39

Fellowship - they filmed a roundabout there once for The Office opening credits. That must have been exciting for the camera operatives.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:42

Who's standing on the cat?

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:46

Lol @ Carlton

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:52

He is so bad

My telly has gone all shrieks and keeps flashing on and off. Is it the show or tv on blink, I genuinely can't tell.

XBenedict Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:57

MsElleTow - when did you train? I also did my training in Swindon! Nothing much happens in there, this is a really positive thing for Swindon!

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:58

Ouch. My ears! He's just not cool enough to pull this off!

Carlton doing Tom jones, EXACTLY THAT Sue.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:25

hasnt been to church for a while,,,,, hmm very ambigious i would like to know how long !!!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:26

Was that Swindon, Hassled? I though Slough.

Well, he really got Cardiff jumping there.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:27

See, Istart to feel all warm towards him-and he melismas allover the shop.

Bingo at the ready for 'ad libs'

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:28

Actually I don't think it was as exciting as a roundabout. An industrial estate?

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:38

Its the show. Well it had better be coz my tv is quite new.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:48

Lottie- it's ALL YOUR FAULT angry

Is he actually going to sing or just wail tunelessly? Has he forgot the words or summat?

I thought the Office was filmed in Slough? Dp used to know a girl who worked in the building they filmed outside and used to tell me that every time we bloody watched it

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:57

There's loads of bloody roundabouts there, Hassled. The Magic roundabout is 7 in 1!hmm

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:24:59

Slough! Yes, it was Slough.

BUT Swindon has the Magic Roundabout. I was almost right grin

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:01

A little LUther Vandross

<Drink>

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:02

that was HORRIBLE

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:04

Mine did too Ger. It can't believe what it's trying to broadcast.

Remind me of a little Luther Vandros BINGO!

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:08

oh my ears

even my cat looks pissed off lol

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:11

Little Luther Vandross grin

BINGO

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:14

Lottie- it's ALL YOUR FAULT angry

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:17

A little Luther Vandross. bingo!

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:27

ANOTHER sofa advert

Oh no, it's Dulisa

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:41

Luther Vandross??

I remember the first audition.They played the theme from Forrest Gump, during the judges comments.sad

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:25:53

You remind me of a little random black person...

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:26:03

What is Nanfucker? Ooh, you're like a transsexual Jane McDonald.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:26:15

Benedict, I started in 1992 and left in 1994 because DH was posted and I was pregnant.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:26:30

Come on Welwyn Garden City. Show him some love.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:26:33

Fuck me, I will miss this thread!

Will he rub his head this week?

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:04

lol a little lenny henry

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:05

DID they Raah? REALLY? FFS. That is genuinely shit.

XBenedict Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:30

hmm I started in 1991 and finished in 1994 - our paths must have crossed at PMH!

Go away Shitz.

And take Flack with you.

And Nanfucker

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:40

Bradford Alhambra make some noise!

directoroflegacy Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:43

That Office roundabout was in Slough - so even less happens in Swindon :-D

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:48

Lock up your DS', Flackster's on the prowl!

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:52

IAmLouis, I will miss all of you so much sad

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:59

<snort> @ 'random black person' .So true.

Is that woman shorter than me,or sat down?????

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:27:59

Flack looks HUGE!

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:28:02

bet maloney won't be getting good comments whatever he sings

His church obviously doesn't mind the gays then.

I thought they were all anti that?

NotAnotherPackedLunch Sat 08-Dec-12 20:28:22

Is Shitz looking a bit like a lady-boy tonight?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:28:26

They made that poor woman come in her butcher's coat so we know who she is.

Why are they not showing the Ma? And the hair?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:03

I want Chowmein to win, and for Simon Cowell to get a contract out on his dad. Maybe Sinitta would do it.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:16

He's lost his first name. He's now know as

NANFUCKER

The Maloney, FFS

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:21

C'mon GRIMSBY! Make some NOIIIIIZE!

ooo, Bof. Bet we see you in the adoring crowd.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:22

No honestly Barry that's not what he's now known as

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:28

Orange juice and Chris's skin - spot the difference?

cardibach Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:38

Welcun Maloney? Smooth, Gary!

Hands up who thinks that, when they cut to Nanfucker's F&Fs, it will be
a) His Nan
b) an old people's bus they diverted from the bingo on the way
c) Jane McDonald
d) Sonia

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:49

Oh christ on a bike.. NF

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:55

Bet you a £1 that he has a 'you don't have to be mad' sign on his desk.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:59

I bet they did! Small world! Do you remember Mavis the tutor, she sends me a Christmas card every year!

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:59

Poison cupcakes...

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:17

I'm an athiest, but i bloody love a gospel choir.
Go my wee Chowmein.
You deserve it.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:26

MY NAN LIVED IN NORRIS GREEN

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:28

So his fan base is the drunk and toothless?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:33

Interesting age range here!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:39

A call centre! Aha! Now we know how he is winning- programme the predictive dialler- hey presto!

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:59

There's about 25 people there, Nanfucker. Waiting to kill you.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:06

I thought he was going to kiss Gary then!

Christophter is on the train then!!! No helicopter!!!

I've just found out my friend is having an xfactor party and I'm not invited. Bastards! Thank god for the thread! Sobbing into my cornflakes and low fat crazymilk I am.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:12

Bazza has turned into Wallace

'Oooo, nice bit of cheese'

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:25

ARF at Nan and great spread.

blush

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:29

Eewwww that creepyfuckingface

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:32

Nice close ups of Barrys bald spot

I wonder how many of them outside that house own their own original teeth?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:35

Oh, fuck him in his prawn ring.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:35

I have solved the issue of Nanfucker's vote. It is the poor bastards at the call centre so that he never, ever, ever comes back.

XBenedict Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:35

grin i do remember Mavis the mouse! Alan was my tutor sad. Do you remember the tutor called Pat - I saw her the other day!

Can't stand this bloke but love a bit of Gary!

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:39

Oooh what an evil laugh.

Growlithe Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:40

Nan's been to Iceland

TheregoesBod Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:45

They are interviewing all his ex girlfriends!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:00

How much have they paid these people?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:03

It was BOSS eyed

He has the Bingo Crowd mobilised. As long as they can stay up late, he's won.

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:18

Even the kids are Nans! Where does NF live? All people are old!

What the hell are they all drinking in Liverpool?

Jesus.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:27

Eww gazing into Nans eyes.

Thank fuck they panned away for the snog

squishyotter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:31

REALLY HOPE CHRIS WINS !!

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:38

Oh murdering The Rose... sad

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:53

Yes I remember Pat. Poor Alan died didn't he?sad

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:55

It's like they cloned Mrs Doyle and crammed them into a Gala bingo hall.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:14

And we're bam to the 80s anthems.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:15

I would like to be friends with The Shitz too, I like her.
I like Chowmein too.
<full of seasonal goodwill>
Maloney is an orange faced git.
<not that full>

Another 80's song........hmm

drummerswife Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:23

not everyone wants to bang their heads
christ i do against a wall when nanfucker sings

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:25

More fun here Geraldine, and we still luffs ya!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:26

I hate this song. I hate Nanfucker. It's all good.

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:27

Nan only looks - what, mid 60s? And he's in his 30s (?), and there's a generation between them - how does that work then?

Is he going to flashdance? I don't want to see his moose knuckle.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:36

Bit of an off key start there NanFucker

Back to the blouson jacket I see. Got to have a gimmick.

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:43

Oh sweet jesus....how camp?!

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:33:49

he's wearing a bit of a DFS sofa up top isn't he?

Oh I hate this poxy cheesy song.

Why is he wearing a leather jacket from 1985? Is that only just fashionable in the 'Pool?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:03

What a feeling stabbing you

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:06

Muck.

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:10

Flash dance song? Priceless, he couldn't get anymore shit if he tried. This is like a Peter Kaye pisstake

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:12

Wth that pink background, he actually looks puce.

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:19

Even the dude who does their names sounds all unenthusiastic when saying "Christopher Maloney" Normally it's "Chriiiiiiiistopher Maaaaaaloney" but he practically mumbled it.

Fuck me he's singing now. What a feeling? What like a knife in the head? Pretty much mate.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:21

Is it my tele, or is he is a funny colour?

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:23

Jean Val Jean does Flashdance hmm

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:24

Mid 60s? Nan looks 80. He is singing well..grrr

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:25

Have I died and come back in the 80s? They were shit first time round.

dippyDoohdah Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:40

I hate him hate him hate him.
why that shot of his crotch?
vom

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:40

Is that him dancing for his life then? A vague Dad-shuffle?
GoodO. Imminent death then.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:46

aaaargh. Even my sky reception is protesting! This is dire.

directoroflegacy Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:49

That blousen jacket!

Why the fuck can't they invent live fast forward on tv?
I'm going for a cig, better for my health than this.
Back in a mo, shout on me if an assassination attempt looks likely.

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:00

my 11 yr old just asked me to turn TV over as its embarassing her to watch it

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:02

Quick, garrotte him with a skippy rope

Mumofthreeteens Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:13

Oh god that was awful.

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:15

that was horrible too

This is like one of those acts you used to see in 95 on Barrymore's My Kinda People, where he'd go behind them and take the piss, and that was the only reason it was good.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:39

I need a drink. Then I might kill myself.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:39

What a feeling

Disgust.

Nausea

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:42

Smug git of smugville, ffs!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:51

YY BARRYMORE. He could not be more Barrymore.
Creepy fucker.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:52

I think he is shit!

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:55

enjoy this moment because you'll never get it this good again

merryng Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:55

Is NF wearing mascara?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:06

Enjoythis moment you won'tbe hear tomorrow

Louis hasn't anything nice to say, really.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:11

He is sooo Barrymore that's true

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:18

At least Shitsinger is adopting the if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all approach!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:20

here

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:22

It's just cruie ship material though isn't it?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:25

There seem to be a couple of people on this thread who like Cardiac Chris. Has his nan learned to use the Internet?

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:25

My DCs have long since buggered off - they can't stand this. It's my payback for all the shite they make me watch during the week.

XBenedict Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:27

Yes he did, had a cardiac arrest after giving a bls lecture - how sad is that?

That was truly awful, I hope he doesn't win!

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:30

It is a long way from Liverpool to Manchester hmm

Not going back to Liverpool??? Does Louis know something we dont??? grin

tiredemma Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:32

I'm actually proper crying. Proper.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:36:41

cruise

What kind of feeling is this?

Suicidal

It was hard what you did up there-
Making a song sound that shit

You're not going back to Liverpool

Cos they wont let you back in

I didn't have you in my final 3

And don't you all forget that I'm not responsible for this shit.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:37:05

PER

FORM

ANCE

You fucking numbskull.

NotNeeemo Sat 08-Dec-12 20:37:09

Not going back to Liverpool? Bloody hope he iswink

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:37:12

Yes! He is Barrymore!

Thick skin - it'll be all the layers if fake tan!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:37:28

Why tired? More FB lulz?

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 08-Dec-12 20:37:43

The pacemakers are fucking with the digisignal in the SE angry

I wish he would burst into flames.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:20

Jesus at Nana Pat groping La Flack. Copping a full feel there.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:22

Nan- GET OFF HER!

drummerswife Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:29

valerie with the perm

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:34

What is it with the weird Nan's arm around the Flackster's waist?!

dippyDoohdah Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:43

great! even his nan doesn't think he can win!

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:49

I liked Dermy - "without thanking your Nan, can you just tell us..."

directoroflegacy Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:49

Why do we never see his mum I wonder?

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:53

Hasn't she got any more clothes other than that naff Cardy?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:59

The people of Liverpool are DEAD to me. And I live here.

nancy75 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:59

Another Tom jones? Is there something funny in the water in Liverpool?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:22

He's another Tom Jones sez Liverpool.

Arf. Is the transmission dodgy? Keep getting flickers.
Course, it's a long way to Dundee.

Dawnywoo Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:23

Looks Shite, sounds shite, i'm sure he'll go a long way...can't believe this is the cream of the crop.

Fucking joke! Fucking senseless, facebook addicted public voting for the twat though aren't they?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:23

Flack's keeping a tight grip of the mic otherwise that woman will have it in her handbag.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:28

That family are sex crazed bastards, the lot of em

squishyotter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:33

090 20 50 02

IT'S THE ONLY NUMBER YOU NEED TO KNOW

090 20 50 02

090 20 50 02

090 20 50 02

090 20 50 02

090 20 50 02

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:39:35

I was just thinking that director

Is flack wearing shorts again. Bet she's after union j.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:40:03

I thought Dermy said "without fucking your nan". I'm too used to this.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:40:09

Just went to the DM Sidebar of Shame.
Apparently Caroline Flack is now dating Nana Pat. And carrying her baby.

She thrives off youth, sucking it in. That's why Nanfucker looks so orange.

Do you think they paid them all to be there, bar his Nan and that woman who looked like Jo Brand's Nan?

My TV is being all weird too.

XBenedict Sat 08-Dec-12 20:40:22

Thought his Nan was going to say "No, I'm voting for Jahmene, but he's done really well" grin

tiredemma Sat 08-Dec-12 20:40:39

Everyone on my FB slagging off his xgirlfriend val and her perm.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:40:44

report Squishy for spam

grin

tiredemma Sat 08-Dec-12 20:41:16

Val looked like Fred west.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:41:44

I'm still shocked he had an ex girlfriend.

director if that was your son, would you admit it?

I bet his Nan is really his Mum and it'll all come out after the final in a DM scoop shock

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:41:53

I'll be sorry when this is over. Coining 'Nanfucker' has been the crown of my mumsnet career sad.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:42:14

Val? Her what was strangled?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:42:25

Ex girlfriend? Isn't he gay?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:42:36

I'd coin him if I was in the audience. I'd bottle him too.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:42:36

Snigger at Fred West

What will we all take the piss out of next week? sad

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:43:11

Don't talk about Fred West! I got married round the corner from 25 Cromwell Street, when they were in the midst of searching the garden!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:43:24

I know Bof. All of the XF nicknames I have ever invented and you get the one that becomes international news grin
Fucker.

tiredemma Sat 08-Dec-12 20:43:33

It's not his real ex gf. It's his Nan's mate from next door.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:17

yy to Even the dude who does their names sounds all unenthusiastic when saying "Christopher Maloney" Normally it's "Chriiiiiiiistopher Maaaaaaloney" but he practically mumbled it

Growlithe Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:28

I think the Mancs are voting for him to make the scousers look stupid.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:30

Poutypoutynodnod

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:30

Looking forward to Shitz eating a Parmo here

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:39

Shitty is right.It's a trek 'oop north'

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:05

Why i he on a bike? He clearly can't ride it.
Stop trying to make him into a rocker. He's practically in a side car like a Fat Lady. That is not rock.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:10

Grow- we are not!

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:16

If I was nanfucker's ex-girlfriend I'd kept quiet about it. Who wants to go down as the girl who turned the fucker gay? grin

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:24

James has got a bigger crowd than Nanfucker had! Nanfucker will be seething!

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:29

think NF's duetting with Barlow in final-presumably they couldn't get anyone else to do it so GB was 'contractually obliged'

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:41

Family Reunion in the Conservative Club. Awkward.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:49

Feeling sorry for you BOF, I bet you feel you have to defend yourself against the whole Liverpool stuff.
I'd crawl under a stone if NanFucker was Scottish.
We have to vote, people.

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:45:55

James' nan wanted a piece of the action too

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:11

Oh my gosh, you live in a slum! By yourself? Quelle surprise!

SinisterBuggyMonth Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:15

No James dont show your Nan off, DONT DO IT!!!!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:16

He had some hard times there alright Shitsinger. Many with your picture.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:19

'Ohmygosh! My10th bathroom is bigger thanthis'

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:42

Patronising cunts, presumably some poor bastard still lives there?!

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:47

If I was anything to do with Nanfucker, I'd have gone travelling or something so they couldn't trace me until all this was over!

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:50

James Arthur cracks me up.

<miserable face> I'm really gutted about that.

<miserable face> I'm really suprised about that.

<miserable face> I'm really happy about that.

<miserable face> I'm so touched....

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:46:50

Fucking hell, it's only Saltburn, not thorn tree or Pally Park

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:10

Why was James in hell?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:23

My first bedsit was smaller and scummier than that. I'm not sniffing about it.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:24

Fucking hell, it's hardly the same sort of hell as Chowmein and the jump leads on his bollocks. It's a flat. His own. Big frigging deal.

MunchkinsMumof2 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:33

I seem to have some dust in my eyes after seeing James in his bedsit

See Chowmein, Pinhead has a sob story too.

How ridiculous is it she didn't know people live in tiny places like that? I did for about two years, shared a bathroom and kitchen with 8 others in a youth home.

That's life for you. You get on with it.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:34

oh and dermots not only cutting him off, hes telling him not to answer

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:46

Shitz dancing!

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:47

For fuck's sake James - smile, damn you. SMILE. Like this: smile

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:47:47

That's sounds awful!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:28

Oh no. Did they learn NOTHING from CockOozer?

HE IS NOT A ROCK STAR. STOP THIS.

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:28

I bloody love him....he had better win!

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:35

My fav song ever ever!

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:36

Ooh, it's gone a bit pretentious.

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:43

has he lost his way to the stage?

I'm sorry he's turned into a complete twat. What the buggering bollocks is this?

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Sat 08-Dec-12 20:48:45

Has he hurt his leg?

Why is he late to the stage? Was he smoking a fat spliff and forgot to get there?

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:12

James Arthur. So tough. Music's answer to Tim Henman.k

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:15

Oh they never do this song on XF do they?

hmm

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:33

I'M FEELING GOOD CHELTENHAM! MAKE SOME NOIIIIIIZE

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:44

He's goingto do the Muse version isn't he? Muse irritate me

Stop fucking shouting

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:48

oh and dermots not only cutting him off malmoney that is,, hes telling him not to answer

sorry HOW not to answer

cardibach Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:53

THis is perfect for him, fair play. Good choosing, SHitz.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:05

Louis is doing some bored doodling there!

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:10

Did he jus say 'bitch' in the sea

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:38

Huh, are you in Chelters Sue? Are the christmas lights up in the prom yet?

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:51

I quite like him. I want him to win.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:54

plus take this song, it kicks in when it gets to main parts, as the background music is done well, very well and other subtle thing s liek whwn it really kicks in wide angle shots etc

its all so bloody fixed

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:00

oooh SO

orangeone Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:03

Sorry I'm late ladies. Been in Christmas card writing hell.

However just in time for some tortured angst from the contestant who name gives me flashbacks.....

What have I missed?

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:08

He looks like he's off his tree. Proper stoned.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:15

Miss I'd love to know what he's drawing. grin willies?

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:31

he got all the budget didn't he!

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:32

Do you come from Cheltenham Sue?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:51:43

Has Dullisa's monobreast completely worked its way up and out to freedom?

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:03

whiteandyellow you need to read Chart Throb by Ben Elton.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:05

Fuck you Dullisa.

MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:09

Raah!grin probably!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:14

No I am being Silly, Jelly. <arf>

Because they haven't mentioned where they are holding the final.

nice accent Dullisa. Sounds like Supernanny USA when she's a few weeks in.

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:20

I'm just always waiting for the dancers to do the t-rex arms whilst they prance about 'dancing'.

Dullisa, please do not do American. We have enough of that with Shitz

squishyotter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:40

BRITAIN! BRITAIN! BRITAIN!

Control your fannygallops, Tulisa!

hmm

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:44

sobbing because hes a single guy living in a nice clean flat...

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:52:59

I'm actually embarrassed for Dullisa now and I don't just mean her DFS dress.

Gone red and everything

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:53:11

I loved Chart throb. Doesn'tstop me loving X Factor.

Mahoosive! Get Shitty!

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 20:53:12

He's the best left. I don't think he's got 'the X factor' but I think he should win.

I think shitz hair is a bit ropy this evening. Im disappointed.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:53:42

Those dancers were shit, tbf. Brian F is spinning in his sequin onesie.

I actually checked my TV connection when Nanfucker was on, his colour is that bad.

Quite enjoyed that song actually. I'm going on him to win.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:53:50

er thought they were all britishhmm

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:01

Oh shame Sue, i have fond memories there grin

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:24

Norwich! Show some love!

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:26

Yeah - he's my favourite by a country mile at this stage. I think he's an angsty twat, mind, but he has the most talent.

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:41

Fuck off, Mayor.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:47

I just choked on mytwiglet @ 'T-Rex' arms.

FFS- you're in manchester, I know it's a shock to your namby pamby southern roots- but STOP SAYING IT.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:54:55

PIZZA? That looked like play-doh with cat turd writing.
Funny sort of pizza they have oop North.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:55:28

Grumpy git chops.

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 20:55:32

Raah Chart Throb actually improved XF for me! grin

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 08-Dec-12 20:55:36

The whole family was blessed with teeth like rows of bombed out houses I see.

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:55:43

Seriously who thought that the Adolf tache was a good idea?

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:55:57

There is actually a stottie-based pizza that is definitely a funny sort of pizza.

I just had pizza oop north Sue, didn't look anything like that grin

squishyotter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:56:14
JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:57:18

Stottie?

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 20:57:30

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

maloney to win, don't be a sheep, don't be manipulated

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:03

Stottie = geordie bread. Round flat loaf.

noddyholder Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:05

It is all so cheap

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:12

Fuck off there's a love

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:28

Hhm.

squishyotter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:39

Stottie is freaking delicious with cheese and ham. Oh god!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 20:58:40

Kaaaaayyyy <backs away slowly>

Why is every second advert for a Beige Buffet? Gives me the boak more than Nanfucker.

What is it with the pizzas every sodding year?

I loved ChartThrob so much.

And that film with Hugh Grant doing an American version where they all get blown up at the end. American Dreamz I think it was called.

Just think, the amount of tan between Dulisa, Nanfucker and Flack it could happen- you'd only need one sequin off Chowmein's jacket to catch a spotlight and BOOOM!

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:10

orchid Are you his nan????

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:12
MsElleTow Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:18

You won't make us change our minds Whiteorchid!

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:42

What texture is it? Love bread of all sorts. grin

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:48

I've just read that link- Justin Lee Collins is being touted to appear! shock

Fucking bastard.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:49

Away to fuck. I'm not a sheep. He is a cunt.

I think you might be fighting a losing battle for a gerontophiliac here, love.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 21:00:18

VOTE RAAH

C'mon Droitwich. Let's hear you.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 21:00:52

i don't actually even like him much, but i do not think he is being treated fairly at all

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 21:01:07

My link was nowt to do with JLC, <unfortunate cross post>

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 21:01:10

Justin Lee Collins should donate his entire fee to Women's Aid. Prick.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 21:01:22

Fuck, I've just realised I have no opinion on Kelly Clarkson.
Quick, thread, tell me what I think of her.

Ooo, maybe I am a sheep <dials>

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 21:01:31

The stottie can be white or brown. A bit like Nanfucker.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 21:01:56

I was talking about the Celeb Big Bro link, Raah.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:06

Weird how she's agreed to sing in front of this footage.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:07

I quite like Kelly Clrkson.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:18

JLC is scary as fuck. Is he still working? Surely not.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:18

ah this is more liek it, really like kelly clarkson

Yama Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:20

I've just voted for you Raah. You do have the best Christmas name.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:24

You quite like Kelly Sue. She was discovered before these talents shows went too far.

snice Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:30

doubt we'll be seeing NF's duet anyway-odds on to leave tonight

WildWorld2004 Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:33

Where did justin lee collins come from

GreenyEyes Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:39

I like Kelly Clarkson.

Is that ok with everyone, yes? No?

<bites knuckles>

LineysChristmasNamey Sat 08-Dec-12 21:02:47

Kelly Clarkson is widely regarded by naturalists as mostly harmless.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:02

She doesn't know, Bella. They promised her a Laser Eyes Kelly, like wot NanFucker had.

BOFingSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:05

Kelly Clarkson is a nice young lesbian. Go her. I like her.

MissMogwi Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:11

So we like Kelly then?

Baaaa.

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:21

I like Kelly Clarkson.

And so do you Sue.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:32

Er's got a nice voice, not harming anyone.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 08-Dec-12 21:04:07

Kelly seems nice.

Nowt to add.

She's alright in that she's a good singer but sings crap sings. Bit like Lemar.

What on earth- if you like him Orchid, fair fucks to you, but bit ott on the Nanfucker love in there deary.

Pop off and neck some valium, there's a love.

Jellykat Sat 08-Dec-12 21:04:13

KC = Meh

I like her she has a calming influence....Nanfucker made me all stabby, Kelly has sooooothed me smile

AmazingBouncingBabyJesus Sat 08-Dec-12 21:04:26

I like her dress as well.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 08-Dec-12 21:04:28

Fair fucks, she's a nice young lesbian, not harming anyone. We like her.
<conforms> <votes NanFucker>