X Factor Semis <snurk>. Let us marvel at these being the four most talented people in the country...

(675 Posts)
SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 18:59:40

Nanfucker singing Josh Groban AND Mickey Bubbles!

<scares self>

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:03:23

More spoilers <bounces>

Babyshits singing Westshoite <GIT your bingo dabbers HEYAH>, hopefully on stools. Also the Beneath Your Beautiful song, that worries me grammatically.

Pinhead doing One by U2 (could you BE any more angsty? No? As you were then) and - get this for a blatant votes grabber - The Power Of Love. He won't be able to pull off the breathy version, but I imagine he can drag it out into a dirge very well.

Chowmein doing a Whitney song and 'At Last'. Cos that's the law.

Katiekitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:07:25

Evening all

I cannae wait for the fun to start!

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 19:08:40

Hurrah! The bitchfest begins...

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:09:53

I have WINE. I never have wine. So I may make less sense than usual
Cannot blame that for my woeful typing tho. That always happens, wine or no.

Imagine NanFucker singing 'You raise me up'. Prolly to his Nan.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:12:29

I have cheese, crackers and branston pickle for snacking opportunities. I cannot be arsed to cook anything sensible.

I have Bacardi and tropical fruit juice as liquid refreshment. By the looks of those song spoilers, I'm going to need it.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:13:31

Evening all! I nearly had a catasorphe! DH doesn't like the X Factor so I have to watch it upstairs, welll my bloody tele broke right in the middle of I'm a S'leb last night! DH took pity on my poorly bones and took me to Currys, bought me a nice shiny new tele and put it up on the wall this afternoon ready for the XFactor tonight!

I did read that Gary will have to duet with Nanfucker if he gets through to the final, because no-one 'cool' wants to sing with him!grin

FrothyDragon Sat 01-Dec-12 19:13:54

Please don't pick on pinhead. I'm a little in wuv with him...

<fans self>

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:14:40

The interwebs say that Pinhead is Twattering up a storm, trying to get the Scottish vote. Has anyone noticed?

I should have saved my wine for Dullisa's singing, innit? I only have it cos we've put the tree up.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 19:16:13

That is dedication to the thread, MsElle grin

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:16:37

Arf at Gary being the only one who'll duet with Nanfucker!

Maybe they could do a Wham-style tune?

I'm your nan, perhaps?

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:17:29

Sue - are you going to match Shits drink for drink?

<worries a bit>

FrothyDragon Sat 01-Dec-12 19:17:34

I've left my wine at home. stuck round sister's.waiting for dinner! it's due to be served at 5...

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:17:53

Don't let your Nan go down on me?

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:18:07

Oohh - spooky, "I'm your man" just appeared on Take Me Out.

Tis a sign from the telly gods.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:18:43


s'like coco pops, innit. And also COCK. SHAMAZING COCK.

<falls off chair>

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 19:21:16

I was thinking of that one too, Sue. "I Won't Let My Son Go Down On Me (But My Grandson Does)".

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:21:27

Are they doing their audition songs?
I LOVE Josh Grogranangry. How dare the fuckmeister sing one of his....

I have curry,I have vodka...dh is packed off on a works do.

I love Jl adverts- I worked there long enough- and I dolove this year's advert.But I wish theyhadn't used that version of one of my favourite songs. It grates,because that will end up being played every year,instead of the originalsad

and 'At Last' should be banned. Along with Adele.

The babyshits have been reportedly saying they will go this week. They probably will. The final is going to be painfulgrin

I need a drink. We put the tree up today. I am hoarse from yelling. grin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:25:02

I do not love his muzak but I love him very much, ever since he hosted Buzzcocks and was ver' funny.

Bookies say Babyshits out too.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 19:25:42

The Scottish vote???
Why's he picking on us?

I has skittles, and Dr Pepper (not drinking til Christmas)
Nanfucker has to go, surely?
I hope James doesn't kill Power of Love. Is he doing Frankie Goes to Hollywood or the other "I'm your lady" version? hmm

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 19:26:39

He was great on Buzzcocks, wasn't he? Almost as good as the great Sir Terry Trousermeister himself.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:28:44

Sue- he was aces on Buzzcocks. I cry when I watch Polar Express'blush
'Believe' people!!

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:28:51

I only have Tramadol, as normal!

I can't even have wine or dark chocolate any more without getting a flipping migraine!sad

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:29:15

I LOVED Sir Terry of Cock on Buzzcocks too.
I love Buzzcocks, in fact. You know when you so get the humour, you think 'they should be my friends and we could be BFF'? Like a sad twat? That's me watching Buzzcocks.

Apart from when Paloma Faith is on.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:30:30

grin to all and to all a hmm btw

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:30:59


Don't start with the Nanfucker song lyrics again, I am going insane trying to think of NanPuns.

I was oddly excited by what Pinhead might be singing after last weeks frankly magnificent Let's Get It On, but, well, phhhhttthhhft.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 19:31:58

So with the aforementioned song choices what is the theme this week?
Coma week? Die of boredom week perhaps?
Nanfucker needs to go this week, I can't tolerate any more newspaper stories about how his x factor experience has been ruined by mean people not liking his wonderfulness.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:32:06

Yy the Grobes on Buzzcocks.

You can keep Phil Jupitus though

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:33:27

Theme must be Bad Covers week, shurely?

I like Phil J. He's good people. Fewer now, obvs, he is much skinnier.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:33:49

Are the Babyshits doing Flying Without Wings?

That's my guilty pleasure song that is blush

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:34:29


Christmas smilies.


SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:35:19

No, another song. A more forgettable one obvs.
Still hoping for stools and air clutching though.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:35:40

Nancy he only makes up those stories for the bloody symapthy! His smarmy, ratty face turns my stomach and needs a good slap with a large wet fish!

its "ok, we admit that Dullisa isn't going to be the nations sweetheart like Biffa Cole was, but Simon needs more botox and Louis needed a new gay friend now Westshoite has gone" week. wink

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:36:13

Ah bugger

Stools are a given I would've thought

Or a stage/stool combo?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:37:37

Apparently its 'Songs for You' and 'Songs for the Judges'

or 'Sing what the fuck you like' as one site puts itgrin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:37:37

Now snurking at 'stool'

<wine hitting home>

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:37:57

I liked Westlife! I saw them live in their farewell tour. You lot are meanies!wink

Is Mighty Boosh fellow still on there? He's another guilty pleasure of mine blush

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:38:56

hahaha at juxtaposition of 'Babyshits' and 'stools' in same sentence.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:39:00

OUT! <points> >>>>>>

Trying to think of blow job related songs for Dullisa now...

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:39:56

Why don't they just give up on this pretence of a 'theme' each week

It's embarrassing for them and it's embarrassing for us. An embarrassment all round!

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 19:41:01

Mselletow, that statement is only forgivable if you drank at least a bottle of vodka before you went to see them and can claim mental incapacity by way of alcohol poisoning

It's so Simon can cash in when they sing a song from one of his artists

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:41:24

Fellowship - perhaps The Swallow Song by Joan Baez?

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:42:02

Just warming up with Strickly. Isn't Brucie a national treasure?

What's that you cry? No?

mselle that's worse than me admitting I like Take That

Nice Katie

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:43:47

Denny Van Outen looks like a senior school photo of herself with that hairdo.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:44:32

Nancy they were good! DH took me as a surprise, I had a really good time!

Now is not the right time to admit I have seen Jane MacDonald, is it? But my parents gave us the tickets because they couldn't go! She can sing in fairness to her!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:45:09

I can't abide DvO.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:46:23

<shakes head at the lost cause that is MisElle

there's no hope...


MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 19:46:50

Marking place

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 01-Dec-12 19:48:06

I've got chicken wings, dips, celery, tortilla chips and cocktail snorkers, with a Fat Bastard size bag of Minstrel for pud.

Is pinhead Scottish?

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:48:38

I know Raah!grin

I wanted to see Robbie next year, but Either DH will be in the Falklands or I will be recovering from an operation on my back.

I looked into seeing Gary Barlow but I wasn't paying £52.50 a ticket to see him!

I have fashioned a sculpture of nanfucker from boiled eggs and deli meats and will be sticking crotchet hooks through it at various crucial junctures during this evenings X factor in a vain attempt to cause his failure via the medium of egg voodoo. Also good evening everyone.

MissElle are you a secret Nanfucker voter shock

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:50:30

No Fellowship, I'd only vote for him to be shots,

Phew smile

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 19:51:23

I like your style Geraldine

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 19:51:44

grin Geraldine

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 19:53:57

Jane Macdonald too, Ms Elle?
Are you sure you're on the right thread grin.
I hope babyshits stay rather than Nanfucker, just for all those ickle tweenies out there who luffs them. It's so sweet.
There is no excuse for Nanfucker though
We all had our embarrassing loves for boybands at that age.
Mine was The Monkees.blush
<old gimmer>
<My fave was Davy Jones>.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 19:54:04

It would be great if Nanfucker went this week. I wouldn't care who wins then. So long as it isn't Chowmeingrin

I need to remember to blow out my advent candle before I forget get pissed

Or Christmas Eve will be here sooner than it should be!

Hang on will be back. AK bidding on Brio for ds for Christmas

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 19:59:01

There was an offer on Brio on the bargains thread I think Fellows. In Christmas.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:01:14

I'm going down ( dulisa bj song )

rhondajean Sat 01-Dec-12 20:01:15

I'm going to be watching merlin by popular demand so relying on you lot to keep me up to date on what's happening over at x factor central.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:01:20

Whoever wins, they won't be the definite Christmas number one, (which is good) Because a) that spot should be taken, and b) it's boringly predictable when it happens. If we can't have a proper Christmas song at number 1, at least let the one that is, mean something.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:01:27

Pinheads DNA talks to him


I hate dermots wanky leg kick.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:02:08

I might actually vote this weekend because it's down to the public. I wonder if it'll make people vote and get rid of Nanfucker!

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:02:11

Fuck, I really might have to vote this week even though I don't really like any of them.
Is it worth a pound to keep Nanfucker out?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:02:21

Forgot c)- the single will be released too early.grin

Oh I got loads from EBay today, for about £20 altogether. Mixture of new/ near new. One big box, happy ds grin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:02:42

Good point MsE, it may make a few people vote for anyone else.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:03:09

Louis's trews are very shiny[<shudder>

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:03:49

Louis has come as a Bond villain again I see

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:03:55

Lines are open peoples. Do the right ting

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:04

Evening all, I've had a couple of weeks off but DH is off on a work night out so I figured I'd drown my sorrows with a pint of coke -rock and roll! and some biscuits.

This is going to damage my unborn child's hearing isn't it? It can hear now...

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:36

So- last year there were 2 shows on finals weekend.--when I got in trouble-- Will there just be one final this year? Or will the streeeeetch it out all weekend?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:46

Nanfucker dedicating his song to...

I'm voting for James.
It is tempting to let Nanfucker win just to hear the booing in the studio and see Simon's face

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:47

Oh he's going to dedicate this to his nan.

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:51

I have wine. I saw the wonderfaul Madness last night in Cardiff (courtesy of DD - birthday present) so am dreading this more than usual.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:14

It is worth a lot of pounds to get Nanfucker out

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:27

What a surprise!

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:33

I haven't voted at all this season. It's cheaper to make voodoo dolls like Geraldine. I've got an avocado that's gone off- will that do?

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:35

Bingo! It's for his nan.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:40


one for the Nan.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:41

You Raise Me up - for me nan.

Predictable, much?

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:45

How predictable!

I be this Nan does raise him up!

Carson saw them at Bestival and they were amazing.

shock he dedicated Groban to his nan shock

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:56

Going first is the kiss of death on most shows....
fingers crossed.

oh feck. It's his nan. Allegedly.

'more prouder'

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:56

He's gonna give her a red Rose...

And the tongue

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:05:56

My hackles are rising nicely

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:06:20

There she is, the poor old cow must be suffering from stockholm syndrome , she has been brain washed by her tormentor

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:06:35

Ten minutes of Nan wanking Louis should properly traumatise him, I agree, Barry.

tiredemma Sat 01-Dec-12 20:06:35

Only just noticed this thread.

I have literally pissed myself at the name you have given Chris.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:06:39

FUCK OFF Nanfucker.
If I hear another word about your Nan I swear I'll find a Hitman.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:06:53

She had a pop at The Wang, didn't she?

He doesn't finish the end of his words, does he? Which is a blessing, I spose.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:06

I loved the hand actions.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:07

I wish he'd fall off a sodding mountain

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:10

Oh good Lord. I don;t think I can take this. And he said I yam. My pet hate. I Am, please. With a slight gap <fussy>

My ears.....My ears..
Won't someone please think of the children

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:24

We raise you up.....to drop you from a great height into a cowpat.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:41

If he IS on his Nan's shoulders, that's abuse.
As was that key change.

LottieJenkins Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:53

I am glad he hasnt sung To Where You Are.............. Thats one of Jacks songs and i couldnt bear him to ruin it...............

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:04

I'm joining you this week, although making Christmas cards too so may just read along.

Although listening to this I'm going to have to tuck into the sloe gin a bit early. Cards could be interesting this year....

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:06

Ugh that knee bendy thing. Like a toddler with a full nappy

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:15

I've also seen Jane Macdonald in Concert. I took my step mum for her birthday. grin

I am voting for James.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:17

Vomit vomit

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:18

Fucking he'll I hate him more every second this goes on.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:22

He's the same colour as those flames in the background!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:23

What is More Than He Can Be, do we think?

I hadn't anticipated him being on so early and I have prematurely used all my hooks, a selection of screwdrivers, some sharp twiglets and a pen. There is egg all over the sitting room and yet he's still warbling a way like a condom stuffed with sausage meat. I may need to rethink.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:25


BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:30

I really don't want to his his raising, thanks. I'm just grateful that wardrobe haven't put him in Rylan's trousers.

God this is depressing enough to cause suicidal thoughts.
We should send him to Iraq. Not to please the troops. To scare the enemy into surrender

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:39

Fucking cruise ship. Preferably the Titanic.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:46

Welcome emma, pull up a chair. Witty banter and sarcasm at the ready.

The second Dermie said someone special I was bingoing his Nan. Predictable song choice and it was lame.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:01

Oh no Shitslinger is on side

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:14

Blee at Shitsinger feeling his performance.
Do you think she's done everyone else?

naffedoff Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:31

They're being nice to him so the public don't bother voting for him and he goes out - that's the Top Secret plan.

tiredemma Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:40

I slagged 'Nanfucker' off on Facebook- unfortunately I'm friends with his cousin. I didn't know until she went berserk at me.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:53

I agree Shitty, there is no soul.

It was NOT just a Westshoite song. Fuck, it's been covered a zillion times.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:09:54

Damn. I missed Nanfucker.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:02

I can see grannies queueing up outside Woolies to buy his album..

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:06

'hear your vocals to the max'?

shut UP, Dullisa. Please.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:06

Geraldine - did your egg and meat voodoo sculpture invilve tomato ketchup?

Could explain the red stripe down the button part of Nanfucker's shirt

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:12

Rylan has a slot on daybreak all next week. Thankfully not singing.

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:14

Can't wait to see how pissed ShitSinger is tonight. She was on fire last week.

LottieJenkins Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:17

Very bland comments...............

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:26

OMG Emma. Did you call him Nanfucker to his cousin??

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:27

Are they trying a spot of reverse psychology?

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:32


The super seedy fred.

Dullisa, what about your urban roots?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:40

tiredemma, really? grin. Excellent. Did you call him that?

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:48

Shitsinger has been the star of this series for me, watching her antics post add breaks each week has kept me more entertained than any of the singers

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:59

His shirt makes him look like someone has slit his throat. If only......

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:06

I think so BOF.

He is not fit to lace Josh Groban's boots!

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:13

Whats with the judges Nanfucker appreciation society?

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:15

Emma, you are my new favourite grin

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:19

Did anyone hear the rumours this week about him? Not sure if I'm allowed to say gossip but it wasn't nice.....

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:22

Priceless emma that is hilaire

Do they share a nan?

Guiltcity Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:23

The only way he'd be in the West End would be as the childcatcher...

Actually...he'd be bloody brilliant!

Mme trust me, I only wish I had.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:50

You are so too allowed MakeHay. Well, I dunno. Are you? I need to know, anyway.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:07

Progression? He started there, and is still there.
Fuck off Louis. Robbie was number one with 'She's the one'- it's still World prty's song. Knob. in fact- Westshoite made a career out of covers. How's that agood thing?hmm

LottieJenkins Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:11

I read somewhere that Christopher wanted to sing with Jane Mcdonald and was told no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wink

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:18

Share a Nan? he don't share his Nan.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:30

Spill, Make Hay

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:31

Sooooooooo - (late to the bloody party as usual!) - apparently <<<whispers>>> they can't find an establised star to duet with the Nanfucker if he gets to the final! True! So it's going to be Gary and Jane McCruiseShip or whatever her name is.

Follyfoot Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:34

DH had just referred to him as Nanfucker.

Your work here is done ladies.....

makehay noooo do tell << nosy emoticon>>

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:50

Hey Sole grin
So, do you fancy Nanfucker?

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:12:50

Oo MakeHay, would like to know but fred might go kapput confused

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:07

Yes, MakeHay. Rumours are compulsory on this thread. The more scurrilous the better.

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:13


sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:24

Whats the gossip on nanfucker??

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:30

See those Lindor chocs? I have one that is as big as my son's head.

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:36

Haha haaaa LadyB grin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:13:47

If it's been online somewhere else then a link may do?

naffedoff Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:02

You Raise Me Up is a rip-off of Londonderry Air or Danny Boy - as any fule kno - not Josh bloody Groban or Westlife

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:04

A please don't tantalise me with rumours only to not spill, after being late to the party before I still don't know about Spraggers!

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:11

Omg Lady lol

Yeah I do [blush-]

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:19

Oh yes - we definitely need the rumours.

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:26

Some good nanfucker stuff here

Roll up! Roll up!

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:34

Tbh every week we talk in great detail about him shagging his grandmother. Can't be worse than that surely

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:41

It still bothers me that Iceland made a nearly tasteful advertconfused

ellargh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:53

Signing in.

Nanfucker appreciation society. I snorted and I can still feel hot chocolate in my nose.

I'm backing James but feeling like if he wins it may destroy his career so would like Jahmene to win because I think it would give him the confidence to warble more away from my TV.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:53

Maybe he'll duet with his Nan?

Was it pertaining to him being a nanfucker? Because if so I think the cats out of the bag on that one.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:08

Is the gos about him trying to strangle someone on a cruise ship? It was in the paper last week?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:23

Do your DC smile in wonder at spring rolls? Don't think mine ever did. I never took them to Iceland though.

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:29

I noticed M&S have the hugest Walnut Whip in store, i am coveting it like a mad woman!!

Sole Helloooooo smile

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:37

Gene Wilder's voice

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:48

He could do Grandma and duet with the St Wini's choir? Some of whom may be Nans themselves by now.

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:50

“I’m behind Christopher all the way but it’s killing me doing it.”

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:16:01


just getting that out there

Damn, forgot to shazam that windows song again

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:16:24

Hi jellykatsmilesmilesmile

Long time no speaky

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:16:38


Get the fuck off my tv Rylan!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:16:39


<agrees with Greeny>

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:16:40

Hope I don't get into trouble here, but there was an article about one of the X factor contestants - mentioning no names, obviously (he has already performed though....) dabbling in a bit of lady-bashing. Yuck.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:17:18

OOh did you see the ad with Rylan gonna be on Daybreak?!

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:17:40

Chow Mein sad

its Chowmein tugging at the heartstrings.
I really hate that laugh thing he does.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:17:47
SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:17:49

Him allegedly strangling a blonde woman, as reported by the Sun? We've had that, don't worry [grin. We'll be sued before you are.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:17:55

Yes, strangling a colleague on a cruise ship. And I'm sure DH mentioned DV too, but I can't find that link.

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:07

Pm me the rumour

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:17

Saw the Ryland ad. Crikey it didn't take him long to get the TV break did it! Whoa!

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:25

I saw that MakeHay.

Poor Jahmenesad

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:32

That poor family, gone through such trauma.

And that's not even including the hair don't

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:33

Oh good - don't drag me down with you! grin

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:37

Oh dear, they've put the fembott's setting to "cry".

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:39

Tissues at the ready, folks. I do feel for him, he had such a shit life.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:43

ROAR at Chowmein's sex face when hugging Shitsinger. Also surreptitious hair sniffing I bet.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:18:55

Ohh, lets warble.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:04

Also sulking, I never get to spill juicy gossip first. Even if I am scared to do so....<wuss>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:07

I do like this song. I just wish he'd stick to the notes.

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:10

Too right Sole!

I'm soooo bored of Chowmein now.. Struggle struggle blah blah blah, heartless i know

ellargh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:30

Love Rylan. So glad he's going into TV.

I'm in a coma. Boring.

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:35

Massive walnut whips mmmmm

Mm that choc

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:19:35

I die for the hair <fingers crossed>

Did he just sing 'after all my shrimp is gone'?

Will he make it all the way through? Seem to remember Cher Lloyd doing a song she'd sung at a funeral and getting emoshonal at the end

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:01

Wow, MmeLindor

That's impressive!

Are you tempted to actually get it on yours or your son's head and wear it for a bit?

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:10

Bloody hell, my dd like chowmein, does anyone want to adopt her, age 7, cute, shit taste in music

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:23



Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:35

MmeL Thats huuuuge!!

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:45

Awwwww bless.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:49

<sits on hands to not post comments about the type of funeral Claggy would be attending>

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:54

I want Nanfucker's nan to come on for her duet with Chowmein's mum's hairdo. That would be TV Moment Of The Year.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:58

I miss Rylan. Need light relief. And sloe gin (missed the ad break chance)

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:05


jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:08

No one will be able to say anything horrible after that

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:14

Is this an actual song? He has a habit of singing things only true fans of the warbley original know.

That was very very dull.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:27

Every lyric meant something, Louis? Even the shrimp one?

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:43

Sue wtf is your problem? The poor lads shrimp has all gone, have a feckin heart fgs

SoleSource Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:45

Who ischowmein?

ellargh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:46

Chowmein just sang about shrimp.

Made it a bit less boring. Not a lot though.

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:21:57

wine Sending this over to Nicole.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:16


Shut up Dullisa. You do not know that. Stop making it about you.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:19

Is Tulisa trying to make him cry, d'you think?

I hate dulisa. But I like that dulisa autocorrects to fluids on my iPhone.

Dp just took his headphones off, looked at Tv, said "oh fuck, its that dude with the funny shaped head again" and put his headphones back on in disgust.grin

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:38

I just want to give him a hug!

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:39

Oh for goodness sake stop blubbing woman!

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:43

Chowmein's sob story is waaaay better than Nanfuckers.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:44

Barry is wincing at the thought of the violated prawn ring.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:47

Oh for fucks sake.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:48

Was it Claggy who same at a funeral? Though it was Matt the hat?

Oh bloody hell, Shitty is crying.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:52

Bloody hell, Shitz has lost it now

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:01


Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:02

Have some vodka, Nicole. That'll stop those tears.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:06

Shitsingers just noticed the bottles empty


SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:09

Oh fgs. Someone press ctrl-alt-del on Shitsinger. She's crashing.

Baby CHEESES was there? With the shrimp? And the jubilation?

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:11

Baby Jesus?

giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:18

Baby Jesus was in that song.

I missed his appearance sad

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:18

Has she just seen baby Jesus? The drugs must be very strong ones this week

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:40

Jahmaine = Chowmein Sole

He calls baby Jesus down according to Shitsinger hmm

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:49

I'm not a fan of shrimp.

directoroflegacy Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:50

Has Gary been crying - he has red eyes??

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:00

sailors I didn't think you should mix booze and narcotics?!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:06

Bet Nanfucker never got the baby jesus. His nan will be maaaaad.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:15

Chowmein should have saved letting one go until Bubl&#279; appeared to shit in a box.

Shitsinger should have been dumped in the jungle and left there.

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:33

What in the name of Strong Vodka is happening? I tuned in to carnage.

Carnage, I tell 'ee.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:37

Poor Baby Jesus, i mean, it's a busy month for him as it is....

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:46

Is that kid wearing a toupe?

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:01

Ooh, what happened to my acute accent on Bubl&#279;?

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:17

i am going to have to wear the lindor

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:19

That's one hell of a quiff that prepubescent lad has there.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:23

Babyshits doing the Makes No Sense song. Which makes sense.

Which of them is beautiful on the inside, do we think? Who is their Chipette?

giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:29

What is she actually on?

And if the answer is nothing then she realy needs to be on something!

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:35


Don't kill this song!

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:40

Wot, no stools?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:45

The babyshits must use some serious hair products.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:49

Sue Nan's blood pressure is going to go stratospheric at the thought of chowmein conjouring up baby Jesus and not her darling poppet Nanfucker.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:56

Should I know what this song is?

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:25:58


SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:05

BubleShit and QuiffyShit taking one for the team as usual.
What will the other pair do? Bez dancing?

Their hair defies belief.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:10

Link to the claggy funeral story I think it was just played, she didn't sing it at the time.

ellargh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:31

Babyshits are talking about taking it off.

I'd like to keep it on. I live in fear of charges.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:31

This song is stoopid, lyrically, Sue.

Oh look, it Westshoite, back from the scrapheap (sorry MissElle)
Oh no pardon me its babyshits

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:45

Woah, hang on a minute...

We've had:

Egg and Meat voodoo
Cheese (Nanfucker)

THIS is the smorgasboard from previous weeks, remember?


nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:47

Beneath your beautiful what? I don't understand

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:50

Oh no, HarryPrettyShit has a geetar, and DucksarseShit is Oooooo-ing.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:57

Soz that was a test Bublé

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:27:17

DS now reading over my shoulder. Had to fetch iPhone

Spiky poo dancing

ellargh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:27:23

You're making me want Bublé.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:27:34

Well I have taken off my Beautiful, due to popular demand.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:27:40

Is this song about asking a girl to get nekkid? Are they old enough?

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:27:52

Katie - you're right. Louis was listening. He does really love us grin.

Beautiful is code for mirkin.

NigellasGuest Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:04


GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:12

I missed all that fannying around with me acute Bublé

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:16


MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:30

I loathe the pained faces and the doubling over clutching their hearts like they're having chest pains.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:32

Is it Gerry? Then by happy coincidence, I have removed that too.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:36

Ah, that's better.

The one singing bats for the other team so unless its a ladyboy, don't know why he'd want a girl to get nekkid

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:02

Cheese free! They are cheesier than Nanfuckers socks

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:07

How can labels be fighting for them - haven't they all had to sell their souls to Syco? I don't understand....

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:08

Cheese-Free????? shock

She meatn "cheesy" surely?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:11

<snurk> --in manner of beavis and butthead--mirkin

Dulisa can say what she wants. She doesn't care.

NigellasGuest Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:24

Me: "She's drunk!"
DD: "no mum, she's American"

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:25

I might vote for them aswell. wink Well its nearly Christmas.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:29:50

I want cheese now.

Dullisa looks like she'd rather be making phone vids again than be sitting there.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:19

Makehay- they will def be tied up with the X factor tour and all that stuff.

Poor george. He needs to change to Jorgegrin

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:25

Is there much call for merkins these days?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:26

Ok, this may out me but it is too good not to share: at Y11 prom, one girl legged it to the toilets in tears. Mate followed her in and asked what was wrong. She said 'it's just this song. They played it at my Grandad's funeral.'

It was Lady Gaga, Just Dance grin

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:33

I have had cheese. CHeddar and a lovely runny brie. THe diet appears to be on holiday.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:57

Awww at asking PrettyShit tough questions. It's like an Ask Spot book.
Where is the monkey? Where is he? <furrowed brow, big unsure grin from PS>
THERE he is!

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:31:11

James reminds me of Flat Stanley being re-inflated with a bicycle pump.

I can't stop picturing tulisa in a chip shop in Lincoln that I used to go to serving chips and cheese to partygoers after a night out at ritzys. I'm sure she once worked there before becoming an urban fishwife. Chezzers it was called.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:31:29


vodka just snorted out of nostrils

My fo once advertised a mirkin on freecycle for a laugh.
He had 4 people ask to take it too confused

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:31:58

Haha - lady gaga at a funeral, fab!

I wanted Tragedy as my first dance at my wedding. Wasn't allowed.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:02

I wear my merkin every festive season. For Jesus.

Arf Louis, like her who sang the madly inappropriate love song to her Grandda in the auditions.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:23

sole did you say you have giant walnut whips? Where do you get giant walnut whips? I need some one

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:34

The dc wanted cheesy pizza for dinner tonight. Bought one in Sainsburys. Worst pizza ever.

DS ate one slice and pronounced it, 'disgusting', and I told him off for saying that, cause its rude.

Then tried it. Minging. The most bogging pizza ever.


we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:47

mmmmmmm Gary Oldman

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:53

grin Louis

stupid phone, my dp, not fo

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:33:55

I loved Flat Stanley

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:34:07

nancy T'was i, Get thee to M&S, they're mahoosive i tell ya

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:34:08

Lol Louis. That's brilliant

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:34:09

Asda do great pizzas- I have one made up with chilli chesse and jalapeno peppers. I like it hotgrin.

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 20:34:13

Kevin Bacon is ageing well. How old is he??

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:34:35

I have carrot sticks and cheese now.

Why? Why do itv make mostly shite?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:35:28

Pinhead! Pouting for the North.

Oh look, it runs in the family.

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Sat 01-Dec-12 20:35:37

The adverts seem to be lasting longer and longer - is that because Lucy Spraggan dropped out and buggered the timings?

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:35:49

When my Nan died and my Mum was arranging the funeral, the Humanist person who was doing it said that the week before an old man had had the Conga played at his funeral and everyone had conga'd out! grin

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:35:52

The Original Duckface Family.

NanFucker Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:06

i downloaded james' songs onto dp's ipod earlier when he wasn't looking tee hee hee grin

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:10

Definitely need to keep your family close. Piss em off and they'll go straight to The Sun.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:34

Fuck me, that's an ugly family. He might be the pretty one!

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:44

Have relented and cooked something: spaghetti in toast!

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:45

jellykat i'll be at m& s first thing, I love a walnut whip!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:46

Gawd help us.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:15

Stand still- you're making me feel queasy!

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:21

I can see this being a dance craze we could all do.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:34

Aw, that was sweet with James and his sisters.
I think he struggled to find a competitive sob story.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:49

Oh look he's doing 'angst'

For a change.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:49

Oh look, he's made it angsty <shocked>

Utter crap. Pick a note and stick to it. And stop shouting.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:54

Oooh shouty!

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:55

Worst performance so far by Pinhead.

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:56

Jesus is back! Is this sponsored by Billy Graham, do you know?

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:37:57

Shits will be happy, Jesus is in this one too.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:06

I can see why Nanfucker didn't do this raising the dead song. A bit edgy.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:08

Oooh. This is bad. Really bad.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:08

My dad's mate is an undertaker and has been at a funeral where the pall bearers pogoed in to 'Nelly the Elephant' by The Toy Dolls, bouncing the coffin as they went.

God, I have a wealth of funeral stories....

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:14

Oh this is bloody dull - and he's the only one I give a flying fuck about. Not enough to actually pick up the phone or anything, but still.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:16

Why does he keep getting the lyrics wrong?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:19

Is it just me or is there no tune in here?

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:23

Ha, cross posts cardibach

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:35

Fuck, this is poor

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:38:39

Bof- I'm not bad at a 'side to side/need a wee dance'

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:39:10

nancy They're in the Christmas choccy section, take a v large bag!.

I love love James, but this song is wrong i reckons

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:39:10

If Jesus is back he'll have his fingers in his ears listening to this shit

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:39:26

Totally tuneless.

3 or 4 albums in one year? God help us

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:39:41

Pouty pouty nod nod

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:06

Jesus is very sad at that performance.


Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:14

Louis - now I've heard that, I might just make a request that my pall bearers do the Twist as they carry me in. Formation Twisting, carrying me aloft. That's my sort of funeral.

NanFucker Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:18

oh dear sad i love that song was really looking forward to his version but ermm... it was shite sad

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:21

I thought he was shit!

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:24

I was asked to sing Colours Of Day at the crem once for a family. I don't think they'd anticipated the chorus of "So light up the fire, Let the flame burn"...

I struggled.

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:25

I like James but not that one.

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:43

James has very tidy eyebrows.


SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:50

Oh, it means a lot to him. So that's OK.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:54

Oops Shitsinger nearly fell of her stool.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:41:31

Why does she have silverware twisted around her hand?

James is sooo losing the sob story competition tonight

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:41:33

Arf boffles

'Open the door, let Jesus... NO! Don't actually fucking open it!'

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:03


Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:15

She'd be fine LadyB baby Jesus can cushion her fall.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:16

leave the North alone,Shittyangry

If Nanfucker gets to the final, I maybe tempted to stand outside the venue with a 'nanfucker' placard.

The gravediggers near my granddad grave were playing relight my fire. My dad was laughing. It was all kinds of terrible.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:41

BOF - how did you manage not to scream with laughter?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:43:35

So, Pinhead is the adored big brother of three tweenage girls who style themselves on Tulisa. Maybe that's the sob story?grin

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:43:43

I was chewing my cheeks and weeping, Mme. It turned out to be a very angsty performance.

Wish these wand erection ad bits would fuck the fuck off

bellechristmas Sat 01-Dec-12 20:46:26

I don't really understand the Gary Oldman ad, could someone explain?

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:46:36

What does that boy give his mum in the Boots advert.
I've replayed it 3 times and still can't hear what he's saying?

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:46:46

Do people really buy new sofas at Christmas?

Haven't they got anything better to do hmm

Has anyone tried the new version of vice versas? Very disappointing sad

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:47:13

Not sure I can face the second songs. Anything else on?

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:02

4 ad questions ^ but who will answer us?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:06

Look out for Baby Jesus everyone.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:21

lady beagle I think he says it's unscented, because he doesn't like his dad sniffing her.... That's how I heard it, anyway.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:28

Ladybeagle- something 'unscented'- supposedly to prevent further gropinggrin

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:54

Gary Oldman - dunno
Boots - dunno
DFS - i think they must. Loons.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:58

Answer mine first.
<Stamps foot>

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:14

Other ad questions.... No idea, sorry!!!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:32

I LOVED that Pussycat dolls reality show. The one where they added new members was the bitchiest thing ever. Brill, it was.

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:35


we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:37

Eh? Lady- 2 of us answered you<sobs>

Do you think chowmein will summon Father Christmas with this song? Or Buddah perhaps?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:48

Oh no, he wants to be like Shitslinger. He's going to need a wheelbarrow full of crack then

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:02

Thankyou Raah.
It would have kept me awake all night.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:08

ladybeagle we did!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:21

Easter bunny maybe fellowship?

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:38


LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:45

I quite like this blush.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:49

Why is he dressed as a seal? Is it Christmassy? confused

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:00

I think Chowmein should win it.

I might even vote for him tonight.

He's warbly but better than the others

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:14

Oh, he feelin' it. You can tell, cos he be trillin' like a half-cooked pijjin.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:15

There's a whole category of dongs that I know purely from being sung on x factor

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:30

I ^ knew^ it would be his melisma (love that word) filled audition song.

He's finished...at last...



GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:47

Oof lol songs not dongs

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:49

Sorry Hay.
This thread is way to fast.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:09

can we add Melisma to the list of XF baby names? <hard look at Faith>

Fuck Me. I just saw God.
No. No it was just dp going to make coffee.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:16

God yes, Sue, that 'Be the next member of the Pussycat Dolls' programme.

With that shit scary choreographer woman.

They need to bring that back for Sunday mornings again.

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:27

He's way too warbly. It gets on my nerves. I would never voluntarily listen to him sing more than a couple of words (apart from on X Factor).

tiredemma Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:27

sorry - lost myself for a few moments-

no- didn't call him 'nanfucker' on Facebook- I said that I was pissed off with having to watch him shake like a shitting dog week in, week out.

She went mad and told me to have some respect. Im not sure if they share grandmothers. I might try and find out.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:32

Held back vocally? WHEN?


giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:33

Aherm "did" not "done".

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:34

MmeLindor I was just thinking that Chowmein should win. He's the best of a bad lot

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:43

The dongs are just for Louis.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:45

It was my go-to hangover programme, Katie. Bloody marve.

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:48

Consistent, but not every week?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:17

Well they''ll autotune the warbles out on an album.

Yes to the Pussycats bitchfest show

bellechristmas Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:25

I say it every week, but what the fuck is Nicole taking?

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:28

dot...dot...shut it Shitty

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:41

Melisma has a lovely ring to it....grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:42

DH 'Is she pissed?'

Me 'D'you reckon?'

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:44

"I was pissed off with having to watch him shake like a shitting dog week in, week out" grin grin

Tutti Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:46

. . . .

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:50

Chowmein, dot dot dot, borrring

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:53

Yup, she's been at the loopy juice.

Still sulking, btw.

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:54:11

THey aren;t tuning warbles, Having. He does them on purpose and they are too big to autotune away anyway!

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:54:13

Yeuch at the pleather though. Again. How many Pleathers must die?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:54:38

Oh god. Get into the brace position.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:54:46

Here he comes. Lock up your Nans

'I just haven't met your nan'...

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:54:56

Oh no. I'm not - just noticed that I was noticed after all <waves at ladybeagle>

Not that I'm needy or anything.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:04

Poor Liverpoolsad

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:23

I shall endeavour to use 'melisma' at the earliest opportunity. In fact now: Nanfucker, Noooo-000000-ooooo-OOOOOO-ooooo...

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:27

Arf @ Sue grin

A current song? someone fan me, I feel a bit faint.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:39

Ashley Roberts is lovely.
I'll be going to the jungle straight after this, Nicole phoned the ITV2 show yesterday.

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:41

He really does have the mad eyes of a psychopath, doesn't he? Terrifying.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:55:46

up to date...

it will still be cheesy shit though.

Do you think Moviles just lives in a world like Yellow Submarine, where its all technicolour and soft focussed

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:09

The Bubbles stalker song. I Just Havent Met You Yet.

Well actually I have, you just didn't know I was there

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:10

And I like Mickey Bubbles now so this is doubly bad.

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:11

Sing his head off? Go on then.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:17

<sobs> Thanks, Raah sad

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:19

Ohgood- this is SHITgrin

Shitsinger, fuckibg phone

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:22

Shit. What the fuck is this.

MissMogwi Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:29

Did he say he tucks himself in. grin

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:30

Looks like an embarrassing dad trying to be cool! Not working at all...

bellechristmas Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:35

Is he trying to do the canadian accent?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:55

Oh no, this is dreadful. Even worse than I could have imagined.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:56

Current? Is this Mickey bubbles? Hardly up to date, unless you are a nan of course

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:01

ROAR at Shitsinger's face

'I'll never give up' <as he presses his nose to the Darby and Joan club window>

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:04

He's killing it. Not in a good way.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:05

I'm fucking glad he hasn't met me yet!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:06

I haven't met you yet either, Nanfucker. that's why you still have your teeth.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:12

It's like the Wear's Wally of the song world. The tune is in here somewhere

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:13

He's doing it in a Macca head shake stylee

I'm horrified.

Oh fuck off Nanfucker. He's worse than Jedward cloned with Wagner and cross bred with Chicco.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:17

It makes me yearn for mickey bubbles to turn up. With a shot gun.

Are you feeling ok, Bof. Take deep breaths, will soon be overgrin

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:17

It;s a bit of an impersonation rather than 'making it his own', isn;t it?

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:22

This isn't good enough for a cruise ship.


jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:24

Sorry, Where's Wally.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:35

OMG. It gets worse.

What is he wearing? It is one of those wipe clean jackets great for washing the blood off when he murders someone

Dulisa looking bored there

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:39

Why are there floating clocks in the background?

is it to remind us how long Nanfucker assaults our ears for?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:40

All's war in love and war?

That's the kind of smooth talking that gets the old ladies.

DyeInTheEar Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:51

That red lighting is making him very orange.

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:05

I just said in from of ds1, nanfucker's so bloody annoying blush Luckily he's 15. I blamed you lot though, said MN made me say it grin

DS1 said he's going to do a tv show called SobFactor, winner will have best sob story, I can't tell you what else he said grin

Oh dear Nanfucker's appalling, even worse than normal.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:16

She didn't see baby Jesus in there that's for sure

tiredemma Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:25



SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:27

Oh, that was horrid. And stalkery.

MissMogwi Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:31

His fake tan is what's making him orange grin

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:32

Oh Chris....it was totally crap- not even sem-i crap.

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:39

Buble must be quaking grin

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:41

'That was shit. And I'm fucking pissed, my love.'

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:41

That actually sounded like Bubbles shitting in a box

If that was on a ship, I'd have jumped off the bastard

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 20:58:53

Whaaaat? He isn't fit to lick the Bublé's shoes.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 20:59:12

Crying at Louis grin

Roffle at the 'promise yer kid', like Lily Savage

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 20:59:12

Buble IS shitting in a box at that. And posting it to Nanfucker.

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 20:59:25

Said 'in front of ds1'


jeeze put 'em away Dullisa. Is she after joining Rylan on Towie

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 20:59:53

With a bow on.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 20:59:57

No, Fellowship, don't jump. Throw him off instead.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:00:00

Get us, all defendy of Le Bubbles. grin

I liked 'yer kid' too.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 21:00:03

Versatile, is that what they call it now? I'd just call it shit!

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 21:00:14

Ha. CuriousMama. I almost called him that in front of my DC and they are 8yo and 10yo.

Most recent song. Gangam Style, it is not.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:00:25


he just did a sea-lion-esque clap.

DyeInTheEar Sat 01-Dec-12 21:00:27


LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 21:01:04

I usually love the Liverpool accent until I hear Nanfucker speak.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:01:16

I've warmed to Bubbles after Graham Norton. He charmed my little socks off.

It doesn't matter how many nans he fucks. He's going to win. He has the might of saga behind him.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:01:33

ooh I want dinner cooked by a personal chef. Those impersonal ones are crapgrin

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:01:54

Is Gary's mission actually to get Nanfucker voted off? Nothing else makes sense.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:01:57

What was his penis story, Sue? I've forgotten.

MissMogwi Sat 01-Dec-12 21:02:18

He's going to win. I can feel it in me bones.

Babyshits are gonna sound epic after that.
Poor Bubbles. He'd should do that slidie ad thing at the XFactor tour, but go past Nanfucker and punch him, as he slid past.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:02:44

Me too Bof, I'm not even scared of him anymore.

I'm still sniggering at 'that's why you still have your teeth' here

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:03:06

Can't help thinking about his fanbase - WHY are people voting for him, WHY? For th e love of God, people, just STOP.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:03:11

His PENIS story? Do you have a visual aid, perchance? Dressing to the left?

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:03:22

I have a number of penis stories spanning the decades, as you do.

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 21:03:30

Got a really hideous feeling Nanfuckers gonna win as a sic joke.

Posties round my way never go to maccy ds after work, they go get pissed.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:04:36

GOD I hate this Boots ad.
Here, have some make up Mum. You're not getting any. Sort yourself out ffs.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:04:37

Oh yes, the beautiful young woman at a signing asking him if his pianist gives lessons grin. He was very flattered.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:05:22

Oh that one grin. i thought you were referring in a roundabout way to Brooooce. In order to link the pic.

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:05:23

Posties go to pubs that open at 3pm just for them, round my way.

MissMogwi Sat 01-Dec-12 21:05:26

That Boots ad makes me piss. My DD's would be casting evils at any usurper, not pimping me out. grin

Dd saw the boots ad and said she wants to buy me perfume. I was chuffed until she said it was so she could nick it as well.

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:06:21

We may have to link the pic, Sue. Just to stop us killing ourselves.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:06:36

Bastard Dermie, not showing Mrs Chowmein.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:05

I think so Bof. It's all hands to the pumps.

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:09

That was just painful, he is going to win though isn't he

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:27

Oh the thought. Louis in a onesie

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:29

Do any of you follow 'The Queen' t/a Gin O'Clock on Twitter or FB?

Latest posting -

*Gin O'clock
One hasn't met Christopher Maloney yet. And one sincerely hopes one never will. #xfactor*


line dbil was a postie for years, and is now in AA due to it.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:32

OMG. The Wang in a onesie. A Wangsie.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:44

It would have to be a black velvety one

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:07:57

I just did a little bit of sick in my mouth. Yurk.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:08

Oh god the brooce pic

show it again

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:13

oh dear.Louis gettin' down wiv tha kidz

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:22

Sue a Wangsie smile

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:27

Does anyone else enter the competitions?
I'm going to Barbados.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:35

Letting PrettyShit sing = a mistake

Daddy? DADDY? Blimes.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:53


fuck,this sounds like a Westshoite reject single.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:59


Louis in a onesie justifies my anti onesie post from this week.
This is schmaltzy and Shite isn't it?

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:09

I have no idea what this song is supposed to be. Anyone know it?

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:11

Fellowship, that's sad.

I hope Louis in a Onesie helped raise a tiny smile. Or a stabby stab knife in my case.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:26

They've got the Westshoite timing down.

Hassled Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:26

Everyone involved in the final, including Shitsinger, should wear animal onesies. That's the only way to give this show the respect it deserves.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:29

I'm the Sun-in in your hair
I'm the wind beneath your quiff

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:40

Broooce, oh how I love thee.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:40

Already where ?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:59

I like that they're back to their baby-shit coloured roots.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:00

Louis is weeping at this.

And I don't mean from his eyes

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:02

This is better than Nanfucker, that's all I know.

Oh he's alright. it was worse when he wasn't.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:33

I'm not sure they are already in the final....

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:34

I think they're sweet.
<Mum of a ds17>

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:36

Mmmmm. Broooooooce.

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:11:03

greenyeyes, disappointing, isn't it? No stools in either song.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 21:11:27

They were better than Nanfucker anyway.

Are we all voting tonight then. The power of MN to kick Nanfucker out?

Although this thread would be boring without him to bitch about

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 21:11:28

Happy sigh

Dullisa needs a better bra. She's only early twenties, at that rate they'll be on her knees in ten years

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:11:34

Bazza don't like 'em, do he? Grumpus.

I'm voting James.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:06

I do hope they beat Nanfucker.

Oh goody,Shitty has had a pick-me -up

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:31

Oh Shitsinger's gone all Fiddlededee again. That's bourbon in her bra tonight then.

MrsShrek3 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:32

pmsl @ dullisa's boobs grin

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:50

Ooooh louis will do whatever we want him to do. Don't tempt us

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:51

oh MmeLindor with these voting choices you are spoiling us.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 21:13:10

I'm willing to vote to keep Nanfucker out.
But it doesn't work or David Haye would still be in the jungle.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:13:16

Had to drag myself away from the brooce pic there

Not for long

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:13:32

I'll vote, louis, if you actually do the Wang O'Meter.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:13:33

Haha - Louis' urban roots!

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:13:37

Is the boy that begins with g slighty daft? He seems a sandwich short to me

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:14:11

I doubt I'll waste money voting tbh. Just see where the shit falls and avoid it.

If I vote Babyshits, will Louis take out Nanfucker then sign a contract not to sign anymore shit Irish boybands

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:15:01

That is PrettyHarryShit, nancy. He's perhaps not the brightest soul there.

KatieSantaPawskitty Sat 01-Dec-12 21:15:24

Pretty Shit is so annoying.

I mean, what does he do, apart from look pretty?

beachyhead Sat 01-Dec-12 21:15:43

Who is that broooce....? I've voted, for James...

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:15:59

I'm feeling too apathetic to vote.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:15:59

He plays GEETAR, Katie. Don't be a hater, now.

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 21:16:17

I've voted for ChowMein because his story got to me. He has had a shit life, and I'd like him to have the chance to change it for him and his family.smile

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:16:50

Not really that pretty either, he likes vaguely like a cabbage patch doll

One of the shits is from up the road from me. He dresses exactly like every other teen from Windsor/Marlow/Maidenhead

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 01-Dec-12 21:17:13

Ah, little George, he hasn't a clue what's going on or why he's there.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:17:23

John Bishop is the unfunniest man I know of. He's like Sarah Millican - gets away with very run of the mill observations by saying them in a slightly funny accent.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:17:39

Pretty Shit's job is to grin like the Cheshire Cat and have wind tunnel hair. And praise where praise is due - he's bloody good at grinning and his hair is one of the wonders of the world

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:18:04

I think I'd rather give just two pounds a month than put him in the clutches of Simon Cowell.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:18:11

Bof, is it JB you have a sheckshy story about?

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 21:18:27

MsElle was that an ironic post? Or have you actually voted for that reason? (Too much wine to tell).

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:19:01

ARF at Pinhead playing on the beach. Like that boy playing 'deliverance' on Craggy Island...

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 21:19:06

Go on James make me happy.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:19:26

It's not a fucking risk. It's never off the blardy telly.

Bless James he so doesn't want to be there really

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:19:59

ROAR AGAIN at the hearts. They look like his ears.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:15

ooh, it is a bit Xmassy

He has a broken heart. That was a big visual clue

MsElleTow Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:15

Cardi I would like him to have a better life. He had a lot of shit so far. I can't imagine what he has been through. He is talented. It would be a shame for him to be stuck in Asda's for the rest of his days.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:29

Where are the fucking snowmen?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:31

Looks more like the Power of Linekar, with them ears.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:33

It's about as risky as buying teabags in Waitrose

sailorsgal Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:34

I love this song!

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:34

Why's he singing in front of a giant pair of ears?

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:36

Eurgh, John Bishop. The only person with a Scouse accent that I can tolerate is Paul O'Grady.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:47

I hate Gabrielle Aplin. This version takes all the 'oomph' out of the song.

CuriousMama Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:55

like this

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:05

I actually like this - it suits his voice. So there.

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:12

The ears are accentuating his tiny head.

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:17

Brian Friedman would have had roller skating snowmen in a perspex box <mourns>

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:18

He is the best of a bad lot.

LineRunner Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:28

Reminds me of Jimmy Nail.

MmeLindor Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:32

yes, I agree with you. I am going to vote for Chowmein too, cause I think he has the best voice (even though I wouldn't buy his records) and cause of his story.

Thumbs up from me.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:36

The big broken heart. Veeeeery subtle

Jellykat Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:39

Melting a bit here, go James!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:51

Someone i used to work with now works at the JL head office- he posted a pic of himself with one of the model snowmen. I want oneblush

MakeHayInAManger Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:54

It needs a snowman or two though.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 01-Dec-12 21:21:55

I'd like a good look at Pinhead's teeth, curious as to what's going on in there.

nancy75 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:06

Louis they're out buying new gloves

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:08

That was jeffing TERRIBLE.

Apart from the ears. They were funny.

I wouldn't like to clean his soul. Bet it's filthy.

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:10

YY Jimmy Nail.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:43

Jimmy Nail

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:51

Fuck you Dullisa.

cardibach Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:58

I'd like many people to have a better life. Many people work in Asda, it's not really the salt mines! He's not that good, either - very bad technique and way too warbly. It;s (sort of) a singing competition, at least it's the moments when it isn;t that irritate, not a charity...there are som many reasons not to do that. It's probably the reason that those who come second often do better than the winners, though...

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Sat 01-Dec-12 21:23:08

He's not opening, is he, bella?
Work being done? To avoid unfortunate festive Pogues comparisons?

GreenyEyes Sat 01-Dec-12 21:23:17

Pouty pouty nod nod.

JingleBellaTheGymnast Sat 01-Dec-12 21:23:23

Watching the dishes!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 01-Dec-12 21:23:25

Frankie says 'what the fuck was that?'

MrsWolowitz Sat 01-Dec-12 21:23:28

I carried on MNing so nerrrr to you Gary.

Better than Paloma Faiths tuneless version