XFactor MoTown & Abba week! We are to be treated to 2 songs from each of them!

(666 Posts)
MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 19:55:05

Can't wait!

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 19:56:31

Hurrah! Double the opportunity to rant about Nanfucker.

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 19:57:37

what's a yarmulke??????

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 19:57:53

Treated? Not the word I would have chosen...

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 19:58:11

Evening ladies.

<Have popcorn and tea. Gutted no wine and still can't find the bloodlu cmas chocolates. Am feeling very pregnant tonight so may falter before the end especially as they have TWO songs tonight>

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 19:58:29

Oh so probably no-one will sing any Abba or Motown stuff then. Just cover versions of songs by people who have the letter A or M in them.
I'm going to miss the first 20 mins to give DP a lift. I'm going to need therapy to cope with such a loss.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 19:58:46

Yay! to new fred.

Nanfucker needs to be careful-he will alienate his nan-base. see what I did there

There is only one Liverpool related song I'm planning on buying this Christmas- and it won't be hisgrin

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:00:29

I shan't be watching the same program as you lot. The doctor upped my meds this week, I fear I shall be in a worse state than Shitsinger!

Casmama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:00:30

I fecking hate Abba. I thought they had given up on it a few years back.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:00:30

<bracing self>

Remind me to pop back to ebay in half an hour. Am trying to buy DD an ipod, after the one I DID buy doesn't work <seethes>.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:00:38

jessie- yup- shame JiveBunny has already done the madonna/Abba mash up doo-da, that would have been a shoo-in.

So, songs sung by people who once met the jackson 5 then...
Or have been in a film with Meryl Streep.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:01

Give it 100% Shitsinger? Have you not seen this programme before?

110% is a MINIMUM.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:12

EVening all! ON my tod as DD out with friends and staying at someone else's house. WIne open. Courage gathered, loins girded (whatever that means).

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:13

I'm with you on that, Raahh!

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:28

Nanfucker A Yarmulke is the little skullcap Jewish men wear in synagogue or when saying any prayers at home or elsewhere. Some religious ones wear them all the time. I've not known any wear one on their willy though but then I'm not very worldly.

I have wine at the ready, two songs tonight they are really spoiling us....I think!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:49

YY. Songs by people Louis thinks may be black or songs by people who have visited countries that border Sweden.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:59

DP on a rare night out and I'm installed on sofa with cracked black pepper crackers and Philly. DD packed off to bed nice and early. Whoo.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:02:24

I think Greeny was pulling your <ahem> leg.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:02:33

Su, what a bummer about the iPod! Did you get an older one that needs headphones, or was it just broken?

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:00

Bet MK1 are relieved to have missed Motown V Abba week.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:04

Ooh, that song must be for me!

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:09

A yarmulke is a little skullcap that Jewish men wear in synagogue. They also are worn when saying any prayer at home or elsewhere. Some more religious men wear one all the time. Not known anyone to wear one on their willy though but I'm not all that worldly.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:10

Something will be spoiled, Nicky. Not sure it will be us - not in that way, anyway!

My money's on Rylan singing Gimme Gimme Gimme

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:29

All together now,,,

'He ain't heavy, he's Nanfucker...'

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:34

Excellent. Shitsinger pissed already....

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:03:35

It was deader than Matt the Hat's career. I will eventually get a refund I guess, but in the meantime the median price seems to have gone up by a tenner and counting sad
Bastard ebays.

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:04:25

Evening all

I'm ready for some prime nanfuckery

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:04:31

Oh God I have to go out NOW! Back soon. Take notes for me please.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:05:26

Dullisa has overdone the fake ponytail. She looks like she shoplifted an armful of them in Claire's Accessories.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:05:56

All her acts still standing, but she can't

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:13

We didn't think you'd still be here either Rylan!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:17

I'm still sad I missed Matt the hat switching on the lights in Stockport notreally

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:17

Rylan is slurring a bit. Is Shitsinger leaking fumes?

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:21

we3, superb.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:24

bof remove 'looks like' from that post

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:36

Aww, I think Rylan is quite sweet.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:47

Looks like Shitsinger started early this week.

How can barry keep moaning about rylan when he is the man that put nanfucker on our Telly

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:47

Rylan cooking pumpkin pie. There's some cannibalism joke in there somewhere.

I need subtitles WTF did he say? I'm getting old, speak properly young man!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:07:39

mamma mia.

Oh dear.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:07:54

Surely worst abba covers since Rosie ribbons are about to occur!

They need to overhaul the judges. Gary & Tulisa are wack. Louis is my favourite and an x factor institution and shitslinger has grown on me, she's crap in a good way.

If anyone does the winner takes it all I shall be cross (see ribbons debacle).

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:06

Rylan's gonna do the Megamix isn't he.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:21

Hello wine

I see am just in time for the first round of abject horror.

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:22

sue - ive got one im about to put on ebay to sell if its the type you're after? small thing... erm im not good with technology.... brand new.... erm... i'll ask dp.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:49

Come on Rylan, do it for me.

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:13

Hang on, is he singing one song all the way through?

No fuck mash up?

tigerdriverII Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:13

Bye bye Rylan. This is worse than me at a karaoke night.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:22

Blimey, is he only singing one song here? No mash up?

snice Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:29

is 'The Day Before You Came' moody enough for James maybe?

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:30

Rylan, make it stop.

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:30

jesse - grin

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:40

OMG he's NOT doing a mash up!

<faints with shock>

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:43

It's like a fucking migraine!

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:45

I think we are seeing far too much of his crotch.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:09:46

I like Rylan.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:05

No Megamix? I feel cheated.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:08

Abba are notoriously hard to sing, so how come he's completely in tune for this one - LOVE IT!

My female intuition's working well! Bang on with song choice - hmmm

Maybe NanFooker will sing it...gimme gimme gimme a nan after midnight hehe

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:46

Will Jessie believe us about the giant chess pieces and houndstooth suit when she's back?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:48

Rylan, you're not a joke act. No, cause you're not funny.

Still 1000 times better than Nanfucker, though

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:52

I dunno NanFucker, I too am shit at these things. I like the classic ones, she can use them. The one I'm bidding on is a 30gb classic one.

Were there dancing unicorns then?

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:10:56

Tulisas boobs squashed & look a bit like a bum.

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:06

He's not a joke act! Really. hmm

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:11

"The people's champion..." Whatevs, Louis.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:17

Nanfucker will be pissed at Louis calling him the people's champion!

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:22

His jacket could have been worn by Sue-Ellen Ewing back in the 80s.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:24

Rylan is a joke act. He just doesn't realise it.

'The people's champion.grin'

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:32

Oh CHESS pieces. I thought unicorns.
Chess cos of the musical do we think? Ver' clever.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:32

grin at Nan after Midnight

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:39

Why am I watching this shite?

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:41

Dullisa needs to wear some more supportive lingerie with her choice of her dress. Not flattering on large screen.....

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:51

Shitsinger is on uppers this week.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:06

Nanfucker will sing knowing me knowing you I think.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:06

Shitlinger is royally bladdered. I love her.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:11

Do you mean 32gb, Sue?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:19
cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:39

I was listening from the kitchen as making toast for tea. SOunded bloody awful - tuning off, phrasing off, tone off - vintage Rylan smile

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:55

Has Ryland had lip filler? Top lip.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:13:26

No,no Line, 30 it says. They all say 30. The one I have is 30 <confuddled>
Old stylee, 5th gen. Though I spose 32 would be fine. We like the old click wheel ones.

I think NanFucker will do Motown.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:13:30

It's down to the loons voting for him, that ella has gone,really. And any other acts that can actually sing.

Bit silly making fun of Gary him with a career closest Rylan will get to an OBE is a pair of GHD's.

prettypurpledaisy Sat 24-Nov-12 20:14:21

I love Rylan and I am not a loon smile

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:14:36

I like Tulisa blush
Sorry, can't help it, I just do.
Will you ban me from this thread?
Fuck, they're all being so nice to Rylan. I sense a plot this week to get rid of Nanfucker, split the vote eh wink.
Anyone taking bets that Rylan will be either in the Jungle or Sleb Big Brother this time next year?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:15:04

pmsl- that Robbie Rotten pic just crashed my laptopgrin

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:15:11

Oh but Ella was awful really. All that dirge-like emoting and shit.
yes, yes, only sixteen. But honestly. not a nice noise.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:15:25

Its down to not enough people wanting to vote for Ella, that's it. She was awful the week she did firework.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:16:17

I'm lost, Sue, in more ways than one I fear.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:16:37

Could you imagine Rylan in the jungle LadyBeagle? You'd hear the screams from here when he was faced with the challenges!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:16:37

GOD yes, less a firework than the dampest of squibs.
People all over the country opening veins.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:16:40

Rylan will get work off the back of this. I wanted to not like him but he seems a decent sort. He's quick witted and amusing on tv, he'll get some presenting work, I'm sure.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:13

Whassup, Line? Who lost you?

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:36

Ella lost support by being pictured in the papers flirting with 2 of the babyshits.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:41

They'll love him at GAY.

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:53

Rylan will be 'manning the hub' on This Morning before long. Mark my words.

DontmindifIdo Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:58

Oh Rylan will be ok - I can see him getting a lot of TV work.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:18:05

Appar Mingehead thinks that James is the only 'international' star left and is genuinely shitting himself in case Nanfucker wins, hence the positive press for James this week.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 20:18:53

agree Ella was pretty dull last week- still think they should have let her BE 16, and sing and behave like a 16yo, instead of someone's auntie.

cant work out who is voting for nanfucker- keep thinking of those old ladies who knit shreddies. And who must watch Xfactor and vote with their knitting needles

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:18:58

Ella couldn't perform at a nightclub in the week, because she was due to go on at 12.30am, but as she is 16 she can't perform after midnight. They said they forgot she was 16! I suppose it was an easy mistake to make, I mean they never mentioned it, did they?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:07

Babyshits do Abba. What is the most sexually non-threatening song, with a key change and opportunities for air clutching?
Or will they take advantage of BubleShit being gay and just go with the full campfest?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:14

Ella was only16??

Fuck me!

grin

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:18

That's nice, talk about the gay one as if he can't hear you

chipstick10 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:24

How bad is this! I can't watch the Xf anymore because nanfucker makes me so violent I'm scared for my health. I have sky rolling news on a large glass of red, a curry on the way and I'm reading this thread to keep me updated and I know you lovely ladies feel the same way as me about nanfucker so I know I can rely on you all to tell it like it is. Keep it coming

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:28

The perpetually surprised faced b&m bargains Harry styles in this crapola band makes me SO annoyed.

It's sad this lad had to come out, in this day & age surely boy bands can easily contain the openly gay?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:42

Team Rylan here all the way

Lol @ the babyshits snotting all over t'shop at Ellas departure

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:46

Bit of both then.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:58

Argh I may KILL this beautiful song desecrated!

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:20:04

Christmas technology has lost me, Sue. And I'm scared I've run out of nanfucker jokes. I think I peaked too early last week. grin

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:20:41

Ooh, I quite like this. I must be going soft. I bet Louis isn't.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:20:48

'Winner takes it all'

Shame they are unlikely to find outgrin

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:06

Cheesy as cheddar!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:13

eh? helen, I'm lost by your comment. Why is it sad he decided to come out?

Lookit, they're letting QuiffyShit sing AND Bubleshit sing. Will this be PrettyHarryShit's week? Will they risk it?

Was Ella only 16? I never knew...why did you not tell me?

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:27

I don't actually mind this lot. <grudging>

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:28

Lol@ BOF!

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:34

No, no, no. This is one of the most emotional Abba songs and they are making it poppy pap.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:02

No. They will NOT risk him singing. He must always look wide-eyed and puffy of hair.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:06

Quiffyshits trews are rather tight, I can almost see his rel... agh forget it

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:06

The one on the left thinks he can just smile sweetly and we won't notice he doesn't sing hmm

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:13

'On point'

that's a new Bingo phrase, innit?

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:21

They are so cute. grin

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:37

Gary says it feels so right? Is the Wang taking over the panel?

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:57

On another thread we decided that Nanfucker is actually Jane Macdonald.
I mean she/he always looked like a drag artist, now he's coming back as himself and starting a new career.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:22:59

It's not sad he had to come out! Why should he have to hide who he is?

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:00

That was horrible. The American accents sad b&m hs and his what am I doing here face sad tulisas shite cliche spouting sad

I need a drink.

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:08

Ooh our first 'on point' from Dullisa. DH has had to down his pint for that phrase as part of our x factor drinking game (although I'm with a cup of tea so don't think it counts)......

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:13

Buddhist, I thought Greeny. That was a very calm cock outline.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:25

What has happened to Shitty's hair? It looks like someone gave up have way...

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:25

They are SO trying to get their share of the gay vote back from Rylan!!

I get mad hearing little whippersnappers like that singing a song about the pain of divorce- with big smiles on their cheesy chops! What the fuck do they know about the words they are singing. Pants angry

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:33

I have secret love for the B-shits.

Hmmm, Harry not looking too comfy there.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:36

The one that doesn't begin with a j reminds me of a cabbage patch kid

chipstick10 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:54

So glad I'm not watchinggrin

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:56

Surely his coming out means that they can contain an openly gay member? confused

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:24:13

He should just be able to BE gay. It shouldn't be a big deal, nobody has to come out as straight. I mean poor kid that he had to hide it in the first place.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:24:17

Arf, they shouldn't even let him TALK. Gawd help us, but it's a good thing he's pretty.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:24:26

Maybe nanfucker can sing to his grannie, 'Does My Mother Know?' [yet]

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:00

As it were. Just realised that my last comment sounds filthy. Wish I had done that on purpose!

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:04

Sue - this is your five minute warning for fleabay...

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:18

oh mines a new ish type, much smaller in size, square thing... descriptive eh??!

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:30

Eeee, Chowmein does favour a bomber jacket.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:31

Wouldn't fancy my chances in a fight with his mum.

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:39

His mother looks more like his sister.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:49

Well it shouldn't matter, but I imagine he felt the constant linking of all the Babyshits with various women was a little uncomfortable.

Nice Awkward Family Moment for Chowmein there. Cringeworthy.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 20:26:10

Aw....

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:26:18

thanks katiekitty but it's gone over my budget sad

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:26:24

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I was going to say Sue

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:26:25

I've never warmed to that fringe.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:06

He's doing proper smell-the-fart acting, innit?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:06

Since when did wonder have a h in it - whhhhunder?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:25

Ever since Westshoite covered this, it has been ruined. sad

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:33

Something very Seventh-Day Adventist in the way he dressed to the left, non?

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:50

Flatter than a pancake that's been run over by a bulldozer

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:05

Dear God but he has a look of Peter Andre about him tonight.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:07

Pick a tune, any tune...

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:11

LOVING his Wallace-and-Gromit grimaces.
Bored by the rest.

I love Jahmene he's so lovely & no choir smile

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:20

Personally I prefer Chow Meins voice over all of them <sucker for a falsetto> it's just sometimes it goes a bit...eek

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:22

Doesn't do it for me at all, I'm afraid...WAY too warbly.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:22

Way too warbly.

I'm starting to like the Westshoite versionshock

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:29

Do the chow mien family all go to get their Barnets done armed with a set square?

What does "on point" even mean???

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:30

Is it me, or was that really short?

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:56

Flipping heck, that was shite.
I just don't get the fuss about Chowmein

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:21

Oh I SEEEE. I was about to say 'wtf isn't he doing Motown'. but they're doing one of each, no? <slow>

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:24

WOW - TOTAL cross post!

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:34

Lolling at set square grin

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:36

Dullisa can say any old crap... she doesn't care....

Strongest voice? If it was that strong, he wouldn't need the vocal acrobatics.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:39

I like Jahmene. Sweet.

OMG Tulisa. Tha outfit is TACKY.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:55

I thought 'on point' was a ballet thing. Or is it working dogs?

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:03

I hate all the warbling. I think he probably does have a lovely voice, but he needs to just sing the fucking tune!

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:05

I don't think Jahmene is going to be looking after his Dad somehow, Gary!

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:21

Or heading up a platoon in the Mekong Delta?

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:24

grin at Nicole's shite.

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:33

Blimey Chow mein's mum's young!

Shitslinger is off it grin

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:34

Vomit @ Shitsinger

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:47

I think it lifts off, the hair. I had a watch like that in the 80s - you could change the face. Very handy.
He's got shelves of helmet hair at home.

GOOD LORD at Ma's crimping iron bunches.

helenovhull Sat 24-Nov-12 20:30:55

Nicole I love you! Spat my tea at her prayer comment.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:01

His mum need hair advice fast

Jahmene's family do like the strong fringe look

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:06

OMG- his mum's hairdo!

Like a psychotic Violet Elizabeth Bott.

MikeLitoris Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:12

Holy shit. Dd has just told me that when she gets a baby she is going to call it Tulisa, shock

She is 8, is it too late to disown her?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:16

A hair don't if ever there was one

chipstick10 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:57

If they start to get rid of nanfucker, the public are going to dig deeper to keep him in.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:01

My BIL and nephew has hair exactly the same as Jahmene! I always want to ask if the hairdresser uses a ruler to cut the fringe!

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:10

Much prefers it when James is introduced by his first name only - less flashbacks....

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:19

I think he's verging on smug, is Chowmein. Ditto Rylan.
Let the BabyShits win. Just for the Wand Erection clicky finger crouchy dancing fight that would then be inevitable.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:24

Is there a Tulisa doll? Maybe she can play with that, Mike, and rip its arms off.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:30

I've said it before, but I just don'tget the Brad Ad.

Now, Yoda- i love.

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:41

grin DD1 has just judged the hair don't big time. 11 year olds can be so cruel.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:54

Right is Brad Pitt wearing a false nose in that Chanel ad?

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:33:24

Mrs ChowMeins do was AWESOME. There are no words. None.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:33:59

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:01
My BIL and nephew has hair exactly the same as Jahmene!

Are your BIL and nephew the same person, MsElle? That must be interesting at family get-togethers.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:34:03

She looked like the cowardly lion, post Oz makeover

Only frizzier.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:34:19

It was very Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Terrifying.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:34:59

Ooh MaccyDs have got a 99p menu. May have to make Ds1's driving lesson go past tomorrow lunchtime!

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:35:20

Stay strong, orangeone.

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 20:35:27

cheap harry styles is creeping me out.

I'm running about 10 mins behind, always start watching it 15 mins late so I can fast forward the ads and the crap. So I've almost caught up already grin

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:35:36

grin @ Sue and Bof and Line

Hell, all of you

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:06

No, LineRunner! My shit typing I am afraid, or my stupid iPad!

MikeLitoris Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:11

I told her she had no chance and she asked me if I preferred Nicole Sherzingham grin

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:14

Gwan Dermie, be a sport. Back to Mrs Chowmein.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:52

God help us if james ever get really excited.

I admire Jahmaine for his support of people who have been through domestic violence...........

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:37:00

Farking hell Jarvis Cacker doing Abba.

The mind boggles

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:37:16

Pinhead's Macca pout is properly KILLING me now. I hate it.

Lolling at deadpan 'I'm over the moon'. Really? And fuck off with your 'do it for Ella'.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:37:30

Am back again. Giant chess pieces and unicorns? W.h.a.t! Dear Lord.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:37:44

Don't be mean about Jahmenes mum. Ok, she looked like Corries Cilla but so what. grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:37:58

DH has just exclaimed 'I wish he didn't pluck his eyebrows and wear fucking make up'

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:38:02

Oh fucksakes, is he Making it His Own? REALLY? again?
Sigh.

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:38:32

Aw Chowmein, he's ever such a nice boy.
He's a little Nanfucker, he's someone that any nan mum would be proud off.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 20:38:50

Someone wake me up when it's over. Ta.

Oh - and Digital Spy forum has been going on for a couple of days about an alleged "BIG" "surprise" this weekend. Obviously they're all saying Ella will return or Nanfucker will have a large marrow inserted right up his wrong 'um. Or something.
Let me know won't y'all!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:38:58

Oh I see. 'Making it my own' means changing it entirely, and heavy on the shiteola guitar accompaniment?
Good to know.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:00

BRILLIANT.

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:03

He will be stripped back and on point then.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:05

Nice and upbeat from James again

ilovesprouts Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:05

my grandsons is watching this with me and he says to me mammar i like rylanshock

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:07

Someone chuck fifty pence at him.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:10

Fucking hell, I love him.

I'm ashamed for myself, but I absolutely would.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:22

ooh- look- multiple james's

I do love Abbablush

The Erasure version of this got me through my 2nd year exams at University.

bellechristmas Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:22

Holy cow, this is truly awful. Please send him home soon.

Nic

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:41

Can't say I'm keen on this. I like James usually too.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:49

<perks up at NanFucker and the Marrow>

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:10

I can tell you all that the James Arthur experience isn't all its cracked up to be. Lame acoustic guitar in background, a few oh yeahs, attempt at deeper meaning although disappointing quick and not very satisfying...

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:18

Maybe the Big Surprise is that someone will just close down the show early and out all out of James's misery.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:20

I love James. You guys are mean.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:34

I don't what it is, but he always looks dirty (as in unwashed) to me!

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:35

Am way late to the party but that was blooming marvellous. I love him. He looks fucking weird but I love him.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:36

If he had a dog on a bit of string, he'd have needed a fecking permit for that.
<SpecialBrewTastic>

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:52

I think he'd sweat too much, threepiece. And possibly strangle you.

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:06

Make it your own

<drink>

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:07

Can we swap the marrow for lit dynamite?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:16

I really wish he'd fuck off with the serious pouty face while the judges suck his ass

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:21

Oh this is soooooooooooo boring. You take a classic, slow it down, bung it in a minor key and warble in an edgy-ish way. Fantastic.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:32

Erasure got me through my first shitty job commute. 'Sometimes'.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:36

Dullisa's hair is lovely Bof, what are you on about. Looks like pure Dartmoor to me.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:40

For crap sakes that was awful. Can you imagine listening to a whloe CD of that.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:41:40

I liked thsat better than I usually like him, actually. He does need to look as though he is at least enjoying some of it, though.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:00

i liked it blush. I like the fact he actually seems to like (and "get") music. Rather than just wannabe famous

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:26

Don't listen to a word Dullisa says- she's only still around cos she gets to 'sing' her new single on this tomorrow.--I think--

DoodleAlley Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:51

Did anyone else think that James Arthur's version of SOS wasn't quite so "original" if you've seen the way they did it on Mama Mia?

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:52

The dynamite can go in after the marrow. I think it would add a certain je ne sais quoi to the finished effect - what say you?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:54

I bet Dullisa sticks pins in a Shitsinger doll every night

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:43:23

Aww, he's sweet when he smiles

pissed

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:43:28

I think he's smoke in bed and have a slightly whiffy willy but, god, I'd still like to find out <ashamed>

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:43:29

Oooo, The GameChanger.

He is worth 500 WizardSleeve points:
Special talent: Depression and Pure Tedium
Vulnerability: Humour or close-ups
A very collectable player <nods>

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:43:51

Oh here we go

Lock up your granny

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:33

How is this guy still in it? I've missed a couple of weeks - I'd sort of assumed he would have been back busking outside Primark by now.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:38

Ooh my back's up already! I fucking hate his voice! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:44

Woohoo your favourite is up next LOL Turn the volume up... grin

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:45

slightly whiffy willy grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:51

I'm getting the backlash - too fucking right, you arsehole.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:44:57

Oh fuck off Nanfucker.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:04

How fucking arrogant and nasty is he?

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:06

IT'S GOT 'NAN' IN IT!

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:07

Oooh he's a petulant little git isn't he.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:10

Bitchy nanfucker.

DontmindifIdo Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:11

Is he getting more scouce?

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:11

Oooh here he comes.
Can I hear the sound of vomiting all over this thread?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:11

NanFucker. NOBODY look to see his religion.
Catch its eye and it'll turn you to stone.

Onoes, I LOVE Fernando <soulful>. I want to be like Alan and name my boychild after it.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:17

God, he is a total ARSE.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:20

What's the lanky streak of nan-nobbing piss singing this week then? <<is not watching>>

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:21

God he's a bell end.

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:21

nanfucker is a twat! It's not my fault! We know that you twat.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:25

The producers are doing a right hatchet job on him

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:27

Gunning for nanfucker tonight. He's a goner, sure of it <probably wrong>

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:30

God I hate this man he is a creepy freak

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:36

ForNan'sFanjo

bellechristmas Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:37

Fernando, my favourite ABBA song, about to be ruined by nanfucker.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:44

<opens vein>

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:45:52

Arf at FerNANdo, well spotted.
<perks up at dancers>

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:04

I love me FeNANdo

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:08

Oooo I like those dancers' abs! Makes Nanfucker more bearable...

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:09

How fucking arrogant and nasty is he?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - what did he say???

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:13

My mam had a Fernando in her class once.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:15

This is amazing!

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:15

WTF????

snice Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:23

there are no words for this shite

<ears implode>

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:24

My fave Abba song, ever.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:29

Linerunner grin

I won't do it- the jokes cheer me up too much.

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:45

Louis laughing at naked men there....

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:47

He is murdering this. Totally.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:51

The Wang is Amused. That's a bad sign - if even Louis is laughing at the naffness of your staging.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:55

Oh he's flat. As well as cheesy. flatter and cheesier than a slice of cheddar

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:00

grin at Line

Fer-nan-do.

I bet he does.

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:00

grin he ridiculous

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:11

No sign of the marrow or they dynamitesad

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:17

Pile of shite. Why are they in swimsuits?

VivaLeBeaver Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:18

Louis is enjoying the dancers.

Though they're not doing much dancing. Very odd.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:27

FUCK. OFF.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:31

MyChild- get your head down, love. I'm worried about you.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:33

<falls about at FerNANdo>

None of us fuckers came up with that last week did we?

I'm sure the x factor team read this thread

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:33

he's * I was so busy giggling at him mis-typed [grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:35

Fucking Tosser.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:37

That was brill!

TheregoesBod Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:39

I'd like to Do-Me-Nan-Do
Tho we never thought that I'd get caught...I've no regrets..

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:40

Katie smile

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:44

bloody hell- that was sloooooooow

VivaLeBeaver Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:58

He is gay isn't he? Christopher. I know Louis is.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:47:59

If I had to do your Nan again, I would, my Friend.
For Nan, oh.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:19

I love Louis.

DontmindifIdo Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:19

Louis looked like he was in stitches.

Very 80s stylee, but that's to be expected I suppose...

chipstick10 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:22

Nanfucker is walking the public vote every week,I'm totally sure of it.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:23

Can you see the queue for Nando's? *stolen from Twitter...

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:23

Louis knowing his onions here.

MikeLitoris Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:27

The dancer to his right has massive boobs.

Did actually lol at Fer nan do

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:40

Obviously Louis distracted by the naked men.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:06

There was something in her hair that night...

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:09

PMSL @ FerNANdo

Love the way he said "I thank you" at the end.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:09

Sue I've just choked on my tea!

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:13

FerNANdo.
Love it, bloody love it.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:21

Tulisa's boob there a bit fleshy with a hint of vein. Boak.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:49:31

Oh he's doing SadFace.
The Fizzog That Lures The Elderly. Beware his laser peepers.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:50:15

He looks more Lily savage by the week.

HE HAS TO GO.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:50:40

I am so disappointed he didn't do Gimmer, Gimmer, Gimmer, a Nan after Midnight though. That was genius.

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:50:52

He becomes Ultimate Scouse during his Dermie chats, just like Rebecca and Marcus.

sue pmsl

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:51:11

I see what you mean with the giant chess pieces! Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ace.

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 20:51:22

Here in Liverpool, you'll be pleased to know, virtually no-one is backing Christopher. Local radio begrudgingly and tenuously mention him once or twice a week. Even the Scousers are ashamed.

orangeone Sat 24-Nov-12 20:51:27

Oh god, we've got another song each yet.

<goes to out kettle on and beg DH to reveal location of some chocolate, fr the sake of the baby....>

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:51:31

I love Louis Walsh.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:51:39

'something in her hair that night'

like as in'Something about mary?'

Don't look into his eyes nooooooooo

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:11

A poster on digital spy suggested Chris might have had a celebrity past:

images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100901222316/muppet/images/7/79/GuySmiley-2009.jpg

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:13

Or what was yours, Greeny? Denture wish your girlfriend was hot like Nan?

<weeps>
I hope he's in till the final, it's always a shame when the ones we hate leave. They inspire such lulz.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:18

Sue smile A Nan after midnight! love it.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:48

So if the Liverpudlians aren't voting for him - and truly I'd be surprised if they were, they ain't that thick! - who IS? Seriously?

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:56

Threepiece there is no need for all Liverpool to boycott NF, his votes are coming in directly from Gala Bingo.

tigerdriverII Sat 24-Nov-12 20:53:17

Fizzog. Haven't heard that in years!!!

Sue, you aren't my mum are you ? <<worried>>

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:53:19

He is more Guy Smiley than Fozzie - I didn't see that.
I'm sticking with Kevin the Gerbil

chipstick10 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:53:46

If the scousers are not supporting him, then who is? What is the demographic ? I don't get it.

You know when you leave cheddar out of the fridge and it goes plastic and sweats? That's nanfucker that is.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:54:01

Now I see Nanfucker cannot go. Life would be so less rich and meaningful for us without him.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 20:54:45

I hope to fuck an evil producer reads this thread and made nanfucker sing that song.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:55:09

Geraldine Yes that's his complexion exactly. Dripping melty post-fridge cheese.

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:55:34

I loved Marcus and Rebecca.
They were both sweet and lovely and talented.
I'd hate to be a Scouser that would feel they'd have to defend this creepy fucker, just because they're from Liverpool.
I'm Scottish but if an act is shit then it's shit.

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 20:55:38

When he does his sad face he looks like Beaker off the Muppets. But less charismatic.

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Sat 24-Nov-12 20:55:41

Definitely Kevin the Gerbil. Now you say it, I really see it.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:56:20

Katherine jenkins <stabby>

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:56:20

So will they all murder a Motown track next?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:56:47

And gives you full credit for the Gimmer line, Line grin
I think it should be his sing-off song.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:57:06

Sit down Shitty, love.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:57:18

Oh it's going to be so hard to bear witness to Nanfucker murdering Motown classics

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 20:57:32

Love Dermie.

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 20:58:11

I don't think I can stomach this (big Motown fan). They're going to rip my heart out and stamp all over it, aren't they?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 20:58:31

But there's only 4 of them!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:58:45

BabyShits should win based on dance-off potential and Good Hair, I've changed my mind.
Mingehead will be wetting his high-waisters over this - he always makes someone sing this. Or Ben. It's a worry, when you think about it...

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 20:59:15

Nooooooooo

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 20:59:29

Oh-oh, a line each?
Dangerous ground there. Will they let him sing? <tense>

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 20:59:36

Hassled I feel your pain. This is going to hurt. Actually this isn't so bad. But what on earth with Rylan and Nanfucker do.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 20:59:36

Big Boy Band. Is that a big band of boys or a band of big boys? <ponders>

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:59:49

Hassled yep, starting with Jaxonfive. Not The Jackson Five angry

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:04

I quite like the Babyshits in a mothering sort of way. I like teen boys.

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:06

These songs should be listed. Like buildings. You shouldn't be allowed to fuck them over.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:18

Awww, Ben.

Remember the bald woman on The Voice? She won 'Opportunity Knocks' singing Ben...when she was 9.grin

If someone did Ben, rats could flood the stage and gnaw through nanfucker a leg or similar thus making him incapable of continuing a la spraggan. How do you like that for staging nanfucker!

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:32

Ugh. It's all Mariah Careyfied

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:47

George is like Father Dougal.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:00:49

No. Only QuiffyShit and BubleShit will be allowed. DucksArseShit and PrettyDimShit can only do the backup <phew>

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:01:06

Could have been worse I suppose.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:01:41

Oh,I LIKE the idea of rats eating Nanfucker.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:01:49

George keeps looking panicked, then visibly pulling himself together and simpering.

I hated the bald woman on the voice.

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 21:02:09

Gary, they haven't heared of any of those bands.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:02:19

yawnage!!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:03:08

What is JJ (Ducksarse)'s name, do we know?
Julian? Jeremy? Jedward?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:03:50

They are NOT a band, Louis!!! They play no instruments- they are a GROUP of singers (and I use the term loosely)

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:30

We've found who we are as a band...

grin

What funny boots they had on?

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:32

If anyone of the fuckers even touches 'Nowhere to Run' I will throw the telly out of the window.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:41

Gawd she's uber weird tonight

BellaTheGymnast Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:44

Poor George, he doesn't seem to know what's going on.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:49

Shitfaced.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:51

grin@ Shitty and the camera

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:53

Pissed as a fucking newt, Shitsinger!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:04:58

Oh james, how you've changed...

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 21:05:11

Shitsinger clearly had an overly long trip to the loo during the last break

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 21:05:22

Shits on FIRE tonight.

Cowell must be revving up the Private Jet as we speak.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:05:28

I'm off my face, did she just say James and now they are showing Rylan or am I more drugged than I thought?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:05:46

I'm not surprised he forgets what he's sung - he averages six songs per performance.

NanFucker Sat 24-Nov-12 21:05:54

my Baileys is stronger than i thought...

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:02

Ooh, a medley. That makes a change.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:02

Oooh a medley eh?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:11

George looks like he's not all there.

And Shitsinger seems to not know which act she is introducing- want some of what she is on, then this might be more enjoyable!

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:15

She said James. She's off her trolley.

squoosh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:20

She made a mistake. That ain't James Arfur.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:26

I thought they said James too, MsElle.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:28

Oh God! No. Make him stop

NigellasGuest Sat 24-Nov-12 21:06:49

DD just said "fall down the stairs please"

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:01

Fuck me, that's oddly sinister. He's like a new Batman Baddie in that suit- one that sings Gotham City to a horrible death.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:20

This is not why my poor parents escaped from a war torn country in the hope of finding a safe and decent place to bring up their family

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:27

Def said James, to the wrong camera, pissedly

rylans backing singers have been to the same crimpers as Mrs Chowmein

squoosh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:31

I fucking hate medleys!

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:34

Quite clearly Methodist.

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:34

This is bad.

And without all the backing it would be even worse.

ooh- mash-up. None of it in tune.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:36

Did he misunderstand and thought he had to do ALL of Motown?

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:40

WTF is that behind him?

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:42

'Ang on. She said James. What a dickhead.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:07:49

Rubiks cube meet Rylan! Ouch!!! My eyes!

I do wish Rylan put on more supportive pants, don't need to see that jiggling around... Bleurgh...

He's like a ketamine induced nightmare of liquorice all sorts come to life. In old Compton street.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:03

The Riddler. Riddled with something, anyway.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:10

Ah, it's better than Nanfucker though.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:10

Oh no Greeny - that's evangelical.

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:11

Lord, I think some of whatever Shits is on has leaked out of the telly - what are we looking at here?

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:20

Is this really happening?

I luffs these songs. The bastards.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:40

She is pissed isn't she?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:43

Team Rylan baby. Yeah

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 21:08:51

Rylan and motown?
Nononononosad
Whoever said upthread that they love motown, I'm with them.
God this is so shit I want to cry , how to destroy the great classics in 3 minutes.sad

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:09:10

grin Geraldine

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:09:11

Rylan.It's week 8...and you've gone all Motown/stars on 45.For a change.grin

MmeLinrod Sat 24-Nov-12 21:09:40

Evening. I'm not really here

EnjoyResponsibly Sat 24-Nov-12 21:09:47

Lou, T, G and Shit love Rylan

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:05

Bertie Basset dunked in Fake Bake

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:12

Her mind was mixed up? How does she think we feel?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:22

Love the way Louis just states the obvious "Its week 8, you're still here" ("you're Irish... you're 16...etc" WE CAN SEE THAT LOUIS!!

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:23

Colourful. Yes, we can say that much.

Arisbottle Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:29

She has just fallen onto the desk as she was talking to Rylan

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:31

His trainers look like my 5yo's craft project

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:10:49

Shitty is clearly watching a different programme. Lucky cow.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:01

Dermie taking a firm grasp of Rylan's inner thigh there.
The Wang is Angered...

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:10

Blimey, how TALL must Rylan be? Dermie is practically at crotch level.

BellaTheGymnast Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:12

Lord, there was nearly an escaped wanger there.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:27

I have started drinking quite a lot of wine.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:58

I need alcohol. I need chocolate. I have neither. I never learn.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:12:24

I predict that Pinhead will get a standing ovation from at least two of 'em. Doesn't matter what he sings - the combination of music they think they should like (Motown) being done is a weirdy way (so current, innit) and all angsty - he could do anything and it'll be hailed as a work of towering genius.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:12:59

I am trapped inside alone because of the storm. I have some wine. The food situation is a bit fraught, though.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 21:13:42

I have also drunk significantly more wine than I intended. I will have ice cream soon. ANd then, quite possibly, chocolate.

MissMogwi Sat 24-Nov-12 21:13:46

I am trying not to eat the Xmas chocolate or biscuits. Again.

LightHousekeeping Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:10

I have a bottle of gin in the cupboard but, its a depressant isnt it?

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:35

I'm not buying any more Christmas food till actual Christmas, whenever that actually is.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:48

Sue that is true. He will prob just take 'Heard it through the Grapevine' at half its usual speed, warble the chorus in a minor key, add a menacing sneer and hey, he's made it his own. Again.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:51

Line they keep telling us there are lots of calories in wine, so you should be OK. Hope the floods not too destructive/distressing.

Gin, gin it makes you grim. That's how the rhyme goes.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:11

Perhaps he'll take an old skool classic and give it a modern twist.

Perhaps he'll 'surprise' us and do it all angsty, with a guitar.

No, 'surprising' us would be a shiny pink suit and a fricking smile.

LadyBeagle Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:16

Oh, just scrolled back and see it was Hassled that also loves Motown.
Fingers crossed for James and Chowmein, they're the only two that can possibly get the soul in it.
Or maybe not sad

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:23

James Arthur drinks gin, I would have thought, LightHouse.

Katiekitty Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:28

Tinned spaghetti on toast here.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:45

I've hidden the Christmas chocolate otherwise DH and the boys will eat it all.

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 21:15:50

All alcohol is a depressant, Light. I'd go for it. You can;t get more depressed anyway, I wouldn't have thought, given what you are watching.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:05

I was going to buy ice-cream but I gave DP a lift wearing my fleecy pj's so I couldn't get out the car and go in the shop.

Linerunner, don't you have any tinned crab or cods roe or similar. You could do a nautical themed tinned picnic.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:30

Pinhead mainlines gin.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:40

I knew it!

Hot off the press!

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:43

Save the Children ad. sad

MmeLinrod Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:52

Am playing catch up. Should I even bother with the early songs?

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:55

But MsElle if you have hidden it you know where it is - you can eat it yourself! You need to save yourself at this point.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:17:02

My house is so fucked a flood would do about £2 worth of damage, cardi. wine

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:17:11

It's Nan!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:17:22

To be fair, I don't think that's a sneer.

<shudder> at Nan. Looking well loved.

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:17:35

You should've seen DS2's face when they showed Jahmene's mum. It was priceless!

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:09

I don't really eat it Cardi, tbh!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:13

Not a sneer, more a tooth problem, I mean to say. Was distracted by Nan.

MmeLinrod Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:48

Ffwarded through Rylan. When you bypass the fluff and adverts, there's not a lot of show left

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:53

'woo a lady'

grin

cardibach Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:56

Did James smile just then?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:00

Oh you're doing Marvin Gaye? Of course you are.
Angsty and waily? Yes? Good, good.
Do carry on. Delighted.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:08

That link shock

sailorsgal Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:10

Isn't gin called Mother's Ruin. I love gin and tonic.

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:20

He's going to unleash the full extent of his vocal ability. So get behind the sofas everyone you have been warned

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:21

Save teh Children ad worked - DH and I both texted a fiver (SAVE to 70008 if you missed it).

I'm merging the need for alcohol with the need for sugar into a single Baileys any moment now.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:28

Grumpy! shock

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:19:46

He's in a Bublé suit! Could he look more sinister?

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:08

A worthy effort but he's no Marvin.

<cue James' Dad appearing with a gun>

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:13

Poor Nicole is finding it hard to focus.

bellechristmas Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:21

Shitsinger looks really confused. What is that woman on and how do I get some?

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:24

This is one of my favourite songs sad

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:24

Chowmein's mum looked like one of those toy dogs from the 80's Poochie?

What's with the Robert Palmer backing?

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:37

I'll buy the paper tomorrow for research purposes and report back.

snice Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:39

where have they got the hen party at the front from?

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:42

Ooooh I think that shriek might have been his full potential

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:55

MmeLindor, tbh it's only watchable with this thread running. You've missed nothing.

Geraldine, strangely I have a tin of Princes' shrimps that have been in the cupboard for rather a long time. You know me too well.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:20:59

Well, someone else has the guitar. So he can give full attention to his slightly sinister begging for sex.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:00

grumpy we were right all along!

Dear god, someone get Shitsinger to a na meeting

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:03

Dying. Full potential dying.

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:21

I loved it.

GreenyEyes Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:28

I'm going to be honest.

I really liked that.

I'll go off him again when he does serious pouty face though.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:29

What's not to like? He's amazing! grin

BellaTheGymnast Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:46

"You're a real person" grin

threepiecesuite Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:46

Tulisa's wet.

Hassled Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:56

He really is the Churchill nodding dog, isn't he? Oh yes.

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:09

Love the Obvious Louis - "you're a real person" grin

TheregoesBod Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:10

I'm shocked, I was convinced Nanfuckers nan was in a chest freezer up north. Perhaps she was wheeled out because the producers have read this thread and wanted to scotch the rumours of frosty action. Or that was actually Nan stand-in No4.

LineRunner Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:28

That link to the Sunday Mirror shock It alleges nanfucker is unhinged.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:32

Yeuch at poutyfaceShaneMcGowanteef. Still, at least he don't do praying hands.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:55

I liked it too! You guys are harsh critics!

jessiegeesusinamanger Sat 24-Nov-12 21:22:58

Oh Shits stop raving like a loon

BOFingSanta Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:03

Christ, she's off her box.

Lorelilee Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:06

I thought that was great.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:07

Seriously - DS is in meltdown - grin

Sabotage!

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:15

He did murder it, Shitsinger. In vino veritas, eh?

we3kingsoforientRaahh Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:28

grin @Shitty.

CuriousMama Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:37

Shitz just gets better grin She's like a mad aunt at Christmas

snice Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:55

<hiding from Sue> I liked it too

MsElleTow Sat 24-Nov-12 21:24:01

You would never have thoughtthat, would you LineRunner?

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 21:24:29

NanFucker has been 'sabotaged' from week one, the Nans must be fierce busy to be keeping him in.

nancy75 Sat 24-Nov-12 21:24:30

theregoesbod most people have more than one nan.....