X Factor - it's Jahmene's week off but open season again on Spraggy Wood.

(689 Posts)

Jahmene has 'shared' his abusive childhood. I shall share ONCE my theory that these revelations are held by ITV and trickled out to the acts with low votes but Mingehead's contract drying in their paws. And then leave him be.
No, not even if they put him in a revolving bow tie will one unkind word be wrung from me <pi> until next week

You know the rules, one week off - so Spraggers and Cardiac Chris are back in the firing line. Gawd help Cardiac's Nan if he slips down the polls, it'll be cyanide in the Mellow Birds for her.

Any predictions? What are we theming?

Clawdy Sat 20-Oct-12 17:35:04

What abusive childhood, Sue ? not seen that.Saw that Lucy and Rylan were supposedly out on the town getting pissed....

VivaLeBeaver Sat 20-Oct-12 17:36:12

Lucy and rylan have been booted out the hotel for swearing at staff and running amok.

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 17:38:59

Oh dear , has he had some kind of breakdown ?

Shazjack1 Sat 20-Oct-12 17:43:19

Cyanide in the Mellow Birds!!! Love it!! It's all a pile of shite but somehow I feel compelled to watch anyway.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:32:38

One week. Ok then. I am also rather cynical about these revelations, but hey ho. I do agree with the theory they have to keep the show in the news, so drip feed stuff. There is no way the researchers wouldn't have unearthed this earlier.

CreepyCardiac has never been out of my firing line. I really dislike him. He can stay until Hallowe'en week.

We've ordered early curry, cos dh is up at 3 for work. He may not last to the end of x-factor lightweight


dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:34:47

And they are being really mean with the song choice spoilers.

This week's theme is 'Club Classics'- perfect for Spraggy, thenhmm. Think they are pandering to Rylan a little.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 18:36:56

Good evening X-Factorettes grin

My DP, who is lovely but a bit hmm about my MNing of late, is away this weekend so I am so looking forward to joining in tonight. If that's ok [humble]

I am already bored with Ming the Far From Merciless and really hope he fucks orf this week.

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 18:38:20

Checking in. Although I can't possibly Mn and tweet whilst watching it, and twitter does make me laugh during xfactor.
I need to type faster and be able to pay attention to more things at once.
I lose all track of the thread if I am actually waatching!
Anyhoo, roll on xfactor time. I have a bottle chilling and some chocolate at the ready

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:44:36

grin @ Ming the Merciless

LineRunner Sat 20-Oct-12 18:44:45

Ooh, CJ, have you got wine as well?

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 18:49:59

I'm all set, LineRunner grin

(I was going to Do the Ironing. Fuck That.)

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 18:59:06

Heavenink peoples!

Poor Chow Mein sad. Well, for this week anyway <evil>

Just warming up with a bit of Strickly

LineRunner Sat 20-Oct-12 19:07:45

OK, I'm just doing the DC's supper and I Shall Return!! wine grin

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 19:28:11

Newspaper reports this week from ex work mates of chris fake shakes maloney, that the shakes are an act. Reports also that he is a backstage diva and was rude this week to runners on set.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 19:48:36

It did come out in the papers a couple of weeks ago about Jahmene's dad, but thenCaroline Flack said on This Morning that he didn't want to make anything of it and brushed it under the carpet.

I don't think Bazza expects to have acts in for much longer TBH, because he announced a solo tour this week and tickets went on sale yesterday. All the dates are in Nov and Dec. I wanted to go and they released seats early for those who follow him on Fb, but only if you are able bodied. I had to call the same no as the thousands of other people fighting for hundreds of seats to fight for one of 23, so missed out after getting cut off 3 times! DH told me to write on his Fb wall so I did and all his aide he said was never mind! So I now hate him and hope he loses both his acts over the next two week ends!

Sorry to digress!blush

Cardiac is evil to the core, I knows it in my waters.

Club Classics? Betcha Spraggy does Ai bet tha' thee looks right good on t'dance floor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:10:57

Tuttut- Barry doesn't seem confident at all. The Overs has always been the kiss of death category.

And I'd believe anything of dodgy Chris- with his dead nan in the basement he's odd.

Is there no song spoilers? <sulks>

I think your spot on with the article monkeys for Lucy.

This is the first week I'm watching alone so hopefully will be able to mn along in peace.

Just waiting for Louis on strictly them I'm over to xfactor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:15:32

Mike -it's rubbishangry For years, Unreality tv has been my go-to site for spoilers, always had the song choices Saturday morning. Very crap this year.And too many mash-upsangry

Me too. Oooo, Dirty Dancing <swoon>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:17:29

I love Louis.

I would dirty dance with him anyday <rubs thighs a la Vic Reeves>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:18:37

I realise now,as this is the x factor thread,I should say not Louis Walshgrin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:18:43

I like Louis too. He lives near me!

And mashups needs to need banned.

Tell ya tho, proves how strong Patrick S must have been if Louis, with his arms and all, was wobbling on the lifts.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:26

I was quite partial to Patrick Swayze too. So sad when he diedsad

And I have grown fond of a mash up. As in this series I rarely recognise the songs (they make them their own so very well I think the writer would have trouble), with a mashup I have two shots.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:31

ooh- controversial, Len the only one on the panel who doesn't fancy Louis...grin

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:38

Evening all.

Missed you lot last week. We are sorted out with our app to watch XF tonight. Still in Germany. Hope I can stay awake cause was up all night with pukey son.

That Sun article was pretty awful. What an utter wanker psychocunt.

Someone catch me up on the nicknames please.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:21:07

grin Sue-you may have a pointgrin

Kiss of Death for Kye there hmm. Clearly BAzza wants to be away.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:22:44

Evening MmeLindor.

Hoping I can stay awake too. I have 3 nights of no sleep with a tooth abscess. Still it has got me out of going to MIL's tomorrow! Every cloud and all that!wink

Here's your host and his knob

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:22:56

Said with conviction Spraggers, said with conviction.

Bah to Club Classics

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:17


Yeah, totally believed that was Dermie grin

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:42

Oh, Dermot. Really. Time to grow up, don't you think?

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:42

X Factor night and I'm IN grin.

Halloween is next week tulisa

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:24:51

I thought Louis had a see through number on then!hmm

Nicole has come as Lt Uhuru.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:24:55

Aw, leave Dermie alone, it makes me laugh.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:11

Roffle at Bond Villain Louis

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:25

Shitsinger is sooo much classier that Tulisa

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:34

Let's hope Fembot isn't drinking too much tonight - those shoes could be lethal!

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:13

Looking forward to more gems from Nicole Shitfaced

LottieJenkins Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:14

I must say i have gone right off Lucy and her so called beerfear.............................hmm
She has been given a great chance and there are people who would behave a lot better given the chance that she has.
As for Rylan.........................[blank emotiocon]

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:16

evening all, "its Rylans week" - yeah to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:19

Another love bite cover up Louis? Tut tut..

Yy @ Lt Uhuru grin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:30

Louis has got his dressing gown on!

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:47

Louis has forgotten to change out of his dressing gown.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:18

Tulisa is not looking good. What has she done, she looks puffed up.

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:20

I loved Lucy at the auditions too, loved the beer fear song but not sure how she translates over to the live shows, she might have been better on BGT!!!

Louis is also doing his Star Trek thang, hence the polo.
Please God someone will beam 'em up

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:27

Well, it is late

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:28

X-post Tuttu

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:28:12

Welcome...sacrificial victim

Cardiac opening things up. Do we think he'll DANCE <shudders>?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:28:24

Lily Savage up first

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:09

PMSL @ Cardiac's dancing!

I'm 41 and don't dance like that!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:40

Jesus, this is bad

showtunesgirl Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:48

Ouch, off key right at the start.

Yeuch at the close ups. He has eyes like a dead sheep in a ditch.

And is also out of time and tune. So that's nice.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:52

Camp as tits..

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:55

Oh dear this is a bit Butlins.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:14

Cardiac's turn is like a soap star who wants to be a pop star.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:22


Woo!for the perspex box. First outing this season?

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:30

Christ Almighty!

This was out when I was a lass and I can't remember it being played it clubs!

What a lovely shiney suit.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:43

He is Lily Savage. He'd look lovely in a frock. This is a terrible song. And singer.

LottieJenkins Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:00

GO CHRISTOPHER..................grin

Those girls look nervous. Can't blame them.

Shazjack1 Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:09

What a load of old pony!

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:15

this is boring - he just isn't singing it well - still sounds so karaoke

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:22

God, it's like an interval act at Butlins.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:22

Louie looks like he's trying to stifle the giggles. grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:25

I am so auditioning next year if this is the bleeding standard.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:48

I can see him doing a Winter Season for the old folk in Benidorm!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:54

oh, this is Karoake City

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:55

This is a Club Classic?

Birkenhead Working Men's Club mebs

Hah, that last bit reminded me of Starman himself - Andrew Stone. Triple threat.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:59

Pissed again, Shitsinger...

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:01

That was bad, even Louis was laughing

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:11

Arf at the dancers. DD1 is having a sleepover and her and her mates could do better. (Believe me I'll be watching it later sad)

Nicole looks like a genie.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:17

The bods that wrote this, wrote 'I wanna dance with somebody' by Whitney.

'Cheese toastie' pmsl. I LOVE Shitsinger.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:41

Arf at GreenEyes

Hit every note, did he Louis? Well yes, but not at the right time or in the right order.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:07

Tulisa's hair looks normal again. Phew.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:10

yeah Louie, OVER THE HEAD

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:12

Louis is listening again - Seaside Special!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:17

Go Tulisa!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:34

I agree with Tulisashock

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:38

The Stilton quip was quite funny for Dulisa.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:42

WTF "you hit every note..." he's taking the piss. grin
Well done Tulisa for being honest! Who would have though she would be the credible one.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:47

ooh, you lot are all a bit ahead of me.

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:27

ha ha louiswalsh you should go for it, theres no Leona Lewis/Will Young this year is there?!!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:32

lol at Stilton

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:47

He forgot to do the nerves thing when he finished so he had a quick tremble as the phone number was read out

Primark One then Chowmein.

Now BE NICE. Not to the Primarks, y'all may savage at will there.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:36:22

Is there going to be one every week that we can't rip the piss out of?


I reckon they plan it that way grin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:06

My friend onFb just put that she thinks that Cardiac is gonna win!

arf at 'had a quick tremble'

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:34

Hello, I'm back this week!

Christopher was awful, Gary has clearly decided that after all, he isn't going to make the overs a credible category after all.

Urban Louis. Great.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:49

Primark are really bad.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:05

Did Dermie say Chowmeins got a gospel choir? Surprise..

and No i'm not gonna be nice about Chowmein if he's pants. Troubled upbringing or not. < heartless bitch >

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:09

Ooh, a bit of artistic integrity here? Yeah, right.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:32

Are they Wombles?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:44

tuttut delete her now!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:50

MASH UP. You're wish is granted!

The TRAUMA of their troubled artistic souls.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:01

Tuttut- de-friend, asap!!

They aren't cool, or current. They are just crap.


LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:04



GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:05


Wombling free

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:31

Why is she wearing a fucking bobble hat?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:35


LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:37

Why is she wearing a woolly hat. I can't concentrate on her singing.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:50

Great minds Greeneyes grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:53


it's 1991 again. And Wimbledon is rained off....

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:53

No Louis I wanna be around when he is knocked out!grin

She's awful chirpy, singing about the homeless woman.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:42:38

I like these two personality wise just not their performances.

Oh SEAMLESS mashup there. I had no idea there were even two songs.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:42:50

Oh god, I just thought, briefly, I quite liked it. Just for a moment. Then I looked at her hat again.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:01

This isn't a mash-up- it's two completely separate, not connected songs. Rubbish.

Roaring at Louis nodding away.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:24

Louis' face!

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:24

A bit loud for me <old gimmer alert>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:37

grin Sue

VinegarTits Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:39

i dont normally frequent these gaffs, and i havent read the fred but i just had to find somewhere to vent about...

HOW MUCH I CANT STAND TULISHA whatever her name is, where does Simon Shallow find these scanks?

as you were

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:43

Oh i used to like this song sad - Not pass out, the la da dee la da daa

That's it, shout over Dullisa.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:12

She's wearing the hat because she forgot her mimi fringe this week.

VinegarTits Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:20

and she looks like someone sprayed shit on her neck


dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:30

And again, I agree with T-birdshock

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:32

MK1 - oooh What The Fook was that? Not bad eh!? Agree with Barlow.

We're the bob bob Bobinogs...

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:46

I agree with Gary - 1st half was by far better

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:02

Nicole has been drinking surely

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:06

Schmazing? Fembot, you are spoiling us.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:06

What Language does Nicole speak?

Uhura has had a sneaky swig on the bridge Cap'n.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:20

Off her tits

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:48

I thought that her voice is not strong enough to carry that song.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:56

Mouseketeers? Like Dogtanian?But mouse-like?

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:50

Absolutely PMSL @ bobinogs

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:51


Mouseketeers are the Gawdawful Mickey Mouse singers on American telly. Where Christina Shouty and Britney and Trousersnake came from .

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:56

Think 'tis some kind of Disney ref dRaa

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:05

agree MMeL

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:10

Vinegar, that is a birth mark on Tulisa's neck.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:14

Is the fembot's dress velvet?

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:27

<sits on hands>

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:28
Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:55

Bless, my heart is breaking for him.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:55

I like Jahmene. Genuine fellow. smile

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:48:08

He's like the Dr in the Simpsons, with his penchant for inappropriate laughter grin

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:48:24

I'm not being horrid, I'm not, I'm not but this is shameless milking.

Olivia, roffle - they'd not let us in. We don't actually like any of 'em grin

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:04

This is bad.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:08

Olivia, you don't understand. We have no wish to actually see the xfactor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:10

Club classic?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:18

I do like his voice

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:19

He's no Aretha, that's for damn sure.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:36

Singing voice, I mean

Not his best week.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:51

He looks lost.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:02

Is is being mean to say that his bow tie makes him look like a contestant on Opportunity Knocks?

<not sure how to play this one>

Goodness me. Erm, good effort Jahmene. I didn't dislike all of it, or question its Club Classic status. Or laugh at the odd bits.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:21

Club classic??

Sorry Chowmein, this is boring matey.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:36

Ooh I'd love to go, but I'd have to follow this thread on my phone and would probably get chucked out for giggling or shouting Chow Mein or Shitsinger or something!

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:37

Suepurb I thought the same, I would never leave my sofa to watch this shower of shit. Sorry MN.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:37

This is just squealing, isn't it?

Oh, I thought he'd finished <pins on polite face again>

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:01

I don't usually like contestants sob stories but jahmenes childhood sounds like it was horrific, it certainly explains his timid nature.

shock what a bulge...

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:02

Those shoes make him look like he's just nipped over from Strictly

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:09

What's up with this week's lot?

Everything's gone totally shite so far.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:16

Thanks Olivia, I am off on holiday that week so could qctually do the 1000 mile round trip to see it grin so I have entered on the offchance I might just win.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:17

That was shitey shit.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:33

A little Ray Charles grin

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:34

Like a little Ray Charles!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:39

BINGO. You are like a little ray Charles!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:44

See, I saw 'My Best Friend's wedding' the other week,and that's now what I associate this with.

Too warbly.

<I'm being nice, really>

A lilttle ray charlesgrin

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:02

We should have an MN trip. We could sit behind the judges and pull our grinangryhmm faces all night.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:26

Bless him.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:28

They are all being nice.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:47

Whys he crying? they're being nice to him.

Big balls?


Indeed Shitsinger. We can see the bigger balls.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:10

I think they are over labouring the point now. Let the guy be judged on his singing.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:15

Shitsinger is obsessed by his testiclesshock

He's a little Buster Gonad.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:17

Love the idea of the MN night out!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:28


Olivia, roffle - they'd not let us in. We don't actually like any of 'em grin

But would be good see his Royal Barlow Majesty though?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:32

Bigger balls?

Wot even bigger than Dermies shock

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:49

I like Jahmene. I do think he would be suited to BGT more than XFactor, but oh bless I just want to give him a hug. What that poor boy witnessed.sad

You know we thought Shitsinger was pre-op? Could that explain the ball obsession?

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:54:12

I think he is crying because he knows he was a bit crap.

I also think he has been a little exploited this week and his private , rather painful life has been prostituted for tv ratings.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:54:59

I hate these singing VO5 adverts. <random>

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:55:15

Olivia did you not see how his Royal Barlow Majesty treated his disabled fans who tried to get tickets for his shows yesterday? I think the word you are looking for begins with a C!

Olivia, we've gorn orf Bazza. Twas but a fleeting perve love last season.
Can you get us tickets for Jesus Christ Superstar? We reckon we deserve them for being the only people to watch the whole series.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:55:34

Olivia- by the time we get there,Barry will be act-less and sulky and on tour


YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:56:44

I liked that Cow and Gate advert 80s Dexy chick

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:56:53

Oooh, YES! Jesus! we'd like to see that.

Not 'The Voice' ,though, that was pants.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:57:21

I liked it too, Yankee grin

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:57:36

Same here Miss Mogwai - the singing hair do lass gets right on my tits.

I'd go to The Voice for a go in the twirly chairs.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:02

OMFG I'm A Celebrity. Will it never stop?

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:15

lol at Olivia.

We just like bitching about them. Don't think any of us would go and see them. Except Netto - didn't she go to see Jedward?

Might enter for DD though. She'd love it.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:30

At the very least, Sue and I deserve a Jesus Christ Superstar Dvd pm me for address, Olivia

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:11

Jeez, have they all had a shit week?

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:12

I'd go to The Voice to sniff Tom!

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:14

<jumps in> I've just caught up. Jahmene (bless him) was a bit screechy.

Oh Jade gets a sob story too then?

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:15

Ooh thanks CJ - one of my previous user names was just like yours twins at heart BFFs

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:37

I went to the tour when Jedward were on too MmeLindor. They were very entertaining.

I went the year before too

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:02

Yy tickets to JCS (as we fans call it) would be much better. (2 sittings guys, 2 sittings)

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:04

Good reading Brian. Have a sticker.

Bless Creepy Brian F spelling out the words. They should have drawn pictures for him,

fourkids Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:38

I want to go olivia!

But...I did go the auditions once and it put me off for a whole year, thus I didn't watch 2011. But now I am back smile

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:43

Hiw did her hair get so long?

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:00

I went to Xfactor live tour earlier this year, with Little Mix and Marcus Collins. Tbh it was rather good blush. Great excuse, having a 10 year old.

ANother one out of tune and time. And she's found an old bottle of Amelia Lily's hair potion.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:09

Extensions innit

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:26

Yuk - Gabrielle is on.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:26

This is poor.

A JCS DVD would be much appreciated. We could watch it virtually together!

GirlYouMakeMeTongueTied Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:27

Oh, this is crap, such a shame as I LOVED her last week.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:34

I bet Dullisa thinks this songs called You're Three

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:36

FFS! She's got a SORE THROAT!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:45

Has this one mentioned her daughter yet? No?

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:55

Going once to see Jedward could be an accident, but TWICE?

I like Jade.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:00

This all sounds like it's being played on a tape machine that's slowly running out of battery.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:04

Hi. Just joining in the slagging off fest!

Jade Ellis currently destroying a song from my mispent youth.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:21

Is she wearing one of Cheryl's rejected outfits?

She is better than this, ol' Tower Block.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:25

Not her best week.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:30

Intrigued Yankee.

I just don't get Jade. Not feeling it.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:44

She can sing it, just lacking bounce.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:45

So,club classics = monotonous lyrics. Good-o

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:27

Its so boring this week. Just like last week. I would give it up but, theres nowt else on.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:41

Fuck me. Brian looks like the Count off Sesame Street. grin

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:53

People really aren't joking when they say Nic is hitting the bottle....

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:57

Brians a bit early for Halloween

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:59

Amelia Lily shock

Sue, you have an elephantine memory.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:59

Shitsinger is definitely sniffing something under the desk...

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:26

She's wasted!

VON step to the left. Count Heem, VON!
TWO steps to the right, Mwa Ha Ha. Count Heem, Von TWO

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:57

MissMogwi grin

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:59

Nicole and her gold cockroach earrings

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:01

No. I only saw Jedward once, I saw the previous year's contestants the year before. I can remember Ruth Lorenzo was there, JLS and Alexandra Burke. Can't remember who else!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:03

Hello all. I been at work til just now. That was mediocre.

Oh had my scan - there's a baby wriggling in there! smile

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:08

I heard Veruca Lily's single today. Was very dull.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:11

I was CJ From The West Wing for a bit great minds

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:38

Just got a hint of Macca seeing James Ellis then...

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:43

Congrats Faith

Do I CJ? I wish I did. This shit is taking up space in my head.
Right, Baby Shits and Him Without The Head <shudder>. I think I need to make fortifying tea.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:06:22

Sweetpea? GAAD. Shitsinger called Jade Sweetpea and she has the audacity to bang on about cheesyness.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:06:51

Congrats Faith. smile

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:00

Oo exciting Faith! Congrats smile

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:36

Ooh,*Tuttut*- did you see the year of the bloke with the dead wife,then?He was terrible. Rather like Cardiac. Very cruise ship.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:46

I would struggle to name any of last year's contestants. Apart from Janet, of course grin

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:50

Congratulations HavingALittleFaithBaby - Hope the bad singing doesn't upset the little one.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:08:40

Pippa Middleton secrets to entertaining?! shock

Yay Faith, another XF baby. What will you name it - Louis or Mingeina?

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:08:52

Congratulations Faith smile

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:09:46

No he didn't go Raah, he went out too early. DH came the year Ruth Lorenzo was on, he was bored till she came out in a leather basque!

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:09:47

Pippa cashes in ...

I'd forgotten Dead Wife Man.
CJ - I forgot Klitty's name last week. How could I?

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:06

Woohoo. Congratulations Faith! smile

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:34

She is fucking lashed

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:38

FFS, who hasn't had a tough week?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:42

Tut grin .my Dh was rather fond of Ms Lorenzo, too grin

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:45

What's the betting James has had a bad week....

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:50

Wtf is that coke zero bond advert about? Don't think jumping of a bridge is a good thing to show?!

Another bad week. Oh dear.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:02


Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:11

DRAMA WEEK fer sure

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:12

Jarvis Cacker

Do we think it's cos his massive body is too much for his teeny pin head?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:34

Thanks everyone. I think I'll keep both those in mind Sue depending on what flavour it is smile

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:38

Actually, I'm lying. Last week I was actually missing Kitty. That speaks volumes about this year's contestants.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:54

Congratulations, Faith.

Pippa slogging away there. DH just said that they are pushing Pippa to give Kate some space (assuming you all got that advert and know what I am talking about)

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:57

What is the theme please?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:06

green eyes you are making me laugh tonight!

<simper> I was really worried about you. Not enough to come and see you or call, but I was dying inside. My people were worried for me, that's how worried I was for you.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:17

He does have a touch of the Maccas, tis the droopy eyes

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:20

I always feel like I need to get the carbolic soap out when he is on!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:20

I'm sure the sightof Shitsinger, with her skirt up to her pants, perked James up noendgrin

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:29

Oh no SuePurlybilt, don't ya mean Simon or Cheryl?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:29

The theme is, they're all shit

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:49

Not surprised he got freaked out with everyone fussing and being all dramatic round him... hmm

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:12

Having- it's Club Classics. Tenuous as ever.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:29

Louis grin

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:30

I think a strong contender for a boy has to be chicken Jarmaine yes? wink

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:31

I like his voice but he does need a good wash...

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:32

What a coincidence, I'm wearing my leopard print leotard right now.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:35

What is this song?

He has a good voice.

He looks like a very young Macca, after a pub fight. The mug shot.

How does this have lighthearted humour again?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:03

I'm a pinhead and I know it...

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:05

I'm sexy and I know it.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:18

Is he singing, oh, ogre?!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:18

Interesting version. He really has 'made the song his own'


LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:20

Mmm I was thinking that too I think the palace has them doing shifts.

Gosh your all right he does look like Macca!

Someone I just don't buy he has 'passion' in his pants...

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:23

The irony of James is that he is so intense, if you met him in RL you'd feel compelled to talk about Serious Stuff. He'd be the type you would never even admit to watching X-Factor to. And yet there he is.


UntamedShrew Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:24

He's being ironic, right?

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:25

I do like James, this is a good version!

dancinginthemoonlight Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:28

Think I wouldn't've to be wasted too if I had to judge this...

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:35

Can see all the kids gettin' down to this one.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:38

He's sexy and he knows it... pahhahaha!

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:41

Oops I meant SOMEHOW

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:45

club Classics? what is this song?

He looks very uncomfortable up there.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:02

Yes, must be ironic...

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:42

Mme-it's LMFAO -'Sexy, and I know it'

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:53

well done, James

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:53

I thought it was a good version

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:55

I'd never admit it to you shower of bitches, but I actually quite liked that

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:07

LMFAO 'Sexy and i know it' MmeLindor

I like this. Not normally a fan of his.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:14

Bloody hell, is it me or do they all need hearing aids?

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:19

I actually love that song by LMFAO. Thought he did a great job of making it into something different.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:20

I'd buy it smile

It was clearly deeply ironic.
Cept that there's no way Shitsinger understands irony or even knows where she is right now

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:22

Oh fuck off Bazza

Shitsinger is on about genitals again

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:33

'club classics' 'meaning' - eh?

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:46

My DDs say it was "wrong", which is a good indicator that it was all right.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:52

Barlow's been at the Louis Walsh random generator of phrases tonight fo' sho'

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:18

Actually, I liked it too.

I like James. Best of the night so far.--I concede that doesn't mean much--

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:19

Fucks sake Dermot have you seen his teeth? Don't make the poor bugger smile sad

lemontruffles Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:31

'revelation with swag - if that makes sense'

it doesn't nicole confused

ScooseIsLooseInTheHauntedHoose Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:37

This is total shut just when I thought X factor couldn't get any worse!

ScooseIsLooseInTheHauntedHoose Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:46

Shit not shut

c'mon the Baby Shits...

let's have some tuneless harmonies and agonized air grabbing please boys

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:03

I luffs Bazza, why am I not allowed to luff him? What happened with the tickets?

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:10

Am sure this has been said but are Union J not just One Direction? George is just like Harry FFS.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:11

Best so far by a mile. Not difficult mind you. I much prefer it when they do a different version, rather than karaoke.

On good the baby shits.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:42

I keep saying I'm not watching it again. Then here I am every bleedin' Saturday night watching it and saying it's shite...

roffling at Louis saying 'don't let the girls distract you'
no, come and sit here instead...

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:28

Did you see their little building blocks? They'd obviously stopped for a little play in between rehearsals.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:29

On Xtra Factor last week they asked this lot which one of them would like to go to the other boy band. And they all answered "none of us they were in the bottom 2!" grin

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:32

Why are they called the baby shits?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:36

Girls screaming? C'mon Babyshits!(are these Babyshits,or District3??)

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:05

Does anyone know which J is which, except for mini Harry styles, who is the added in ringer.

Aw, look at their cheeky chops
Tis pity they can't sing a note.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:27

arf CJ grin

GirlYouMakeMeTongueTied Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:52

At what age is it wrong to admit the boybands are your favourite?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:55

Yankee-one of the boy groups, wore mustard, baby poo coloured trews during the auditions. problem is, we can't really remember which boy group it wasgrin

These are the Babyshite Raah. District3 are now Dysentery.

Cos they constantly wore those skinny jeans that start half way down yer arse in every colour of baby shit brown.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:24

Baby shits because they were all wearing varying shades of baby poo coloured trousers in an earlier episode.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:42

Was union j that wore the mustard. Am sure.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:47

LOL and so a nickname is born ...

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:54

Lots- one of the J's is called george. I think they should have studied harder at school.

TheregoesBod Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:12

And tonight Matthew, the Judging panel is going to be.....The Bridge of the Starship Enterprise . We have Lieutenant Uruhu ( yet again off in a parallel universe ), the little Oirish Vulcan Louis, and Barry Playing 'he of the bursting corset' Captain Kirk himself.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:20

Yeah a traumatic birth!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:31

yawnies babyshats where shite.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:54

but one of the three Rs starts with an A, and one with a W!

Arf at birth of a boyband. They're nine or something, their mothers are still walking funny after their actual birth.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:23:41

I caught that one is called Jamie but spelled JamY that alone makes me hate them.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:23:41

That is a set of eyebrows on the left

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:21


I just feel sorry for the 'j' that isn't...

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:23

Obviously a Club Classic from a time when I wasn't in the Clubs smile

They were mediocre at best.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:33

Too much eyebrow waxing all round imo.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:43

Raah, George is the ringer who was added in to boost the vocals when they were air dropped in to judges random foreign locations. Baby Harry styles. I know that one. The other three could be entirely different boys every week and I wouldn't have a clue! They appear to be entirely interchangeable!

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:25:06

I'm so bored by this shit I'm off to rotate my mattress and have a shower.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 20-Oct-12 21:26:04

last week did rylan call gary barlow, gary borelow, or did i dream that?

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:26:45

Yup he did

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:45

Oh, oh, oh ... it's Ming grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:58

Lots- I know.Bet George is desperate to go sologrin Poor sods. But they are the next biggest boyband this week. grin

It's the boy twin that Katie Price keeps locked in the attic.

FangsGoForTheMaidensThroat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:30

Nicole nearly fell off her seat there!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:30

Oh he is such a twat!

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:34

He really does have a look of Katie Price

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:35

Oh god.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:40

ooh, crybaby's turn.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:47

grin 'I looked like the moon'

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:50

'I've got my reasons for being orange' ROFL

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:51

shock baby rylan!!!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:00

Lose the head.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:31

He had a look of Freddie mercury for a moment there...

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:37

Jordan X post with Sue there

Goodness, He-Man's camped up.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:46

Oh good lord the outfit

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:53

Mash up ahoy!!

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:01

ROAR at 'lose the head'.

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:02

I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to the finals

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:10

Fuck me at Shitsinger's dancing

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:14

Words fail me!

Bluefrogs Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:15

I thought club classics was like songs from an over 30s night?
If these are classics now I feel old sad

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:16

Yy Freddie mercury

squishyotter Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:19

lol you can see his bulge

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:20

Oh dear God

It's almost like a tune....

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:27

Oh FFS Rylan, piss off mate..

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:43

I know he's a shit singer, but I LOVE him!

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:44

He looks even more like Jordan now. If it that's possible.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:44

Fuck, this is atrocious.

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:06

He DOES look like Freddie doesn't he?! But why does he look MORE like him now he has LESS facial hair?!grin

I think he will get the finals. Finish in fourth maybe.

He really thinks he good though doesn't he?

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:15

Oh God. Never mind your behaviour it's your voice you need to apologise for

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:18

If he stood still, his vocals would be better. He is not fit enough for the dancing strutting and singing all at the same time.

He's so sorry for which behaviour? The hotel thing or this shit?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:28

Y'know LMFAO? They have a bloke who dances with a box on his head. There's an idea.

Did he just apologise mid song? Twat.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:49

Oh god I hate myself for not hating that

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:52

God that was grim

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:56

Bring back Wagner

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:07

He is bobbins.

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:12

he is horrendous...MissM he does look like Jordan!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:20

He's got no arse to shake!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:24

Next week, he'll pitch up in a shocking pink pleather catsuit with a cushion up the front of it!

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:33

'We need you in the competition' NO WE FUCKING DON'T.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:44

He has spraggers hair this week.