X Factor - it's Jahmene's week off but open season again on Spraggy Wood.

(689 Posts)

Jahmene has 'shared' his abusive childhood. I shall share ONCE my theory that these revelations are held by ITV and trickled out to the acts with low votes but Mingehead's contract drying in their paws. And then leave him be.
No, not even if they put him in a revolving bow tie will one unkind word be wrung from me <pi> until next week

You know the rules, one week off - so Spraggers and Cardiac Chris are back in the firing line. Gawd help Cardiac's Nan if he slips down the polls, it'll be cyanide in the Mellow Birds for her.

Any predictions? What are we theming?

Clawdy Sat 20-Oct-12 17:35:04

What abusive childhood, Sue ? not seen that.Saw that Lucy and Rylan were supposedly out on the town getting pissed....

VivaLeBeaver Sat 20-Oct-12 17:36:12

Lucy and rylan have been booted out the hotel for swearing at staff and running amok.

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 17:38:59

Oh dear , has he had some kind of breakdown ?

Shazjack1 Sat 20-Oct-12 17:43:19

Cyanide in the Mellow Birds!!! Love it!! It's all a pile of shite but somehow I feel compelled to watch anyway.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:32:38

One week. Ok then. I am also rather cynical about these revelations, but hey ho. I do agree with the theory they have to keep the show in the news, so drip feed stuff. There is no way the researchers wouldn't have unearthed this earlier.

CreepyCardiac has never been out of my firing line. I really dislike him. He can stay until Hallowe'en week.

We've ordered early curry, cos dh is up at 3 for work. He may not last to the end of x-factor lightweight


dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:34:47

And they are being really mean with the song choice spoilers.

This week's theme is 'Club Classics'- perfect for Spraggy, thenhmm. Think they are pandering to Rylan a little.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 18:36:56

Good evening X-Factorettes grin

My DP, who is lovely but a bit hmm about my MNing of late, is away this weekend so I am so looking forward to joining in tonight. If that's ok [humble]

I am already bored with Ming the Far From Merciless and really hope he fucks orf this week.

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 18:38:20

Checking in. Although I can't possibly Mn and tweet whilst watching it, and twitter does make me laugh during xfactor.
I need to type faster and be able to pay attention to more things at once.
I lose all track of the thread if I am actually waatching!
Anyhoo, roll on xfactor time. I have a bottle chilling and some chocolate at the ready

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 18:44:36

grin @ Ming the Merciless

LineRunner Sat 20-Oct-12 18:44:45

Ooh, CJ, have you got wine as well?

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 18:49:59

I'm all set, LineRunner grin

(I was going to Do the Ironing. Fuck That.)

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 18:59:06

Heavenink peoples!

Poor Chow Mein sad. Well, for this week anyway <evil>

Just warming up with a bit of Strickly

LineRunner Sat 20-Oct-12 19:07:45

OK, I'm just doing the DC's supper and I Shall Return!! wine grin

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 19:28:11

Newspaper reports this week from ex work mates of chris fake shakes maloney, that the shakes are an act. Reports also that he is a backstage diva and was rude this week to runners on set.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 19:48:36

It did come out in the papers a couple of weeks ago about Jahmene's dad, but thenCaroline Flack said on This Morning that he didn't want to make anything of it and brushed it under the carpet.

I don't think Bazza expects to have acts in for much longer TBH, because he announced a solo tour this week and tickets went on sale yesterday. All the dates are in Nov and Dec. I wanted to go and they released seats early for those who follow him on Fb, but only if you are able bodied. I had to call the same no as the thousands of other people fighting for hundreds of seats to fight for one of 23, so missed out after getting cut off 3 times! DH told me to write on his Fb wall so I did and all his aide he said was never mind! So I now hate him and hope he loses both his acts over the next two week ends!

Sorry to digress!blush

Cardiac is evil to the core, I knows it in my waters.

Club Classics? Betcha Spraggy does Ai bet tha' thee looks right good on t'dance floor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:10:57

Tuttut- Barry doesn't seem confident at all. The Overs has always been the kiss of death category.

And I'd believe anything of dodgy Chris- with his dead nan in the basement he's odd.

Is there no song spoilers? <sulks>

I think your spot on with the article monkeys for Lucy.

This is the first week I'm watching alone so hopefully will be able to mn along in peace.

Just waiting for Louis on strictly them I'm over to xfactor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:15:32

Mike -it's rubbishangry For years, Unreality tv has been my go-to site for spoilers, always had the song choices Saturday morning. Very crap this year.And too many mash-upsangry

Me too. Oooo, Dirty Dancing <swoon>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:17:29

I love Louis.

I would dirty dance with him anyday <rubs thighs a la Vic Reeves>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:18:37

I realise now,as this is the x factor thread,I should say not Louis Walshgrin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:18:43

I like Louis too. He lives near me!

And mashups needs to need banned.

Tell ya tho, proves how strong Patrick S must have been if Louis, with his arms and all, was wobbling on the lifts.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:26

I was quite partial to Patrick Swayze too. So sad when he diedsad

And I have grown fond of a mash up. As in this series I rarely recognise the songs (they make them their own so very well I think the writer would have trouble), with a mashup I have two shots.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:31

ooh- controversial, Len the only one on the panel who doesn't fancy Louis...grin

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:20:38

Evening all.

Missed you lot last week. We are sorted out with our app to watch XF tonight. Still in Germany. Hope I can stay awake cause was up all night with pukey son.

That Sun article was pretty awful. What an utter wanker psychocunt.

Someone catch me up on the nicknames please.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:21:07

grin Sue-you may have a pointgrin

Kiss of Death for Kye there hmm. Clearly BAzza wants to be away.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:22:44

Evening MmeLindor.

Hoping I can stay awake too. I have 3 nights of no sleep with a tooth abscess. Still it has got me out of going to MIL's tomorrow! Every cloud and all that!wink

Here's your host and his knob

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:22:56

Said with conviction Spraggers, said with conviction.

Bah to Club Classics

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:17


Yeah, totally believed that was Dermie grin

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:42

Oh, Dermot. Really. Time to grow up, don't you think?

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:23:42

X Factor night and I'm IN grin.

Halloween is next week tulisa

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:24:51

I thought Louis had a see through number on then!hmm

Nicole has come as Lt Uhuru.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:24:55

Aw, leave Dermie alone, it makes me laugh.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:11

Roffle at Bond Villain Louis

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:25

Shitsinger is sooo much classier that Tulisa

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:34

Let's hope Fembot isn't drinking too much tonight - those shoes could be lethal!

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:13

Looking forward to more gems from Nicole Shitfaced

LottieJenkins Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:14

I must say i have gone right off Lucy and her so called beerfear.............................hmm
She has been given a great chance and there are people who would behave a lot better given the chance that she has.
As for Rylan.........................[blank emotiocon]

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:16

evening all, "its Rylans week" - yeah to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:19

Another love bite cover up Louis? Tut tut..

Yy @ Lt Uhuru grin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:30

Louis has got his dressing gown on!

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:26:47

Louis has forgotten to change out of his dressing gown.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:18

Tulisa is not looking good. What has she done, she looks puffed up.

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:20

I loved Lucy at the auditions too, loved the beer fear song but not sure how she translates over to the live shows, she might have been better on BGT!!!

Louis is also doing his Star Trek thang, hence the polo.
Please God someone will beam 'em up

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:27

Well, it is late

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:27:28

X-post Tuttu

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:28:12

Welcome...sacrificial victim

Cardiac opening things up. Do we think he'll DANCE <shudders>?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:28:24

Lily Savage up first

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:09

PMSL @ Cardiac's dancing!

I'm 41 and don't dance like that!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:40

Jesus, this is bad

showtunesgirl Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:48

Ouch, off key right at the start.

Yeuch at the close ups. He has eyes like a dead sheep in a ditch.

And is also out of time and tune. So that's nice.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:52

Camp as tits..

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:29:55

Oh dear this is a bit Butlins.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:14

Cardiac's turn is like a soap star who wants to be a pop star.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:22


Woo!for the perspex box. First outing this season?

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:30

Christ Almighty!

This was out when I was a lass and I can't remember it being played it clubs!

What a lovely shiney suit.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:30:43

He is Lily Savage. He'd look lovely in a frock. This is a terrible song. And singer.

LottieJenkins Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:00

GO CHRISTOPHER..................grin

Those girls look nervous. Can't blame them.

Shazjack1 Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:09

What a load of old pony!

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:15

this is boring - he just isn't singing it well - still sounds so karaoke

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:22

God, it's like an interval act at Butlins.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:22

Louie looks like he's trying to stifle the giggles. grin

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:25

I am so auditioning next year if this is the bleeding standard.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:48

I can see him doing a Winter Season for the old folk in Benidorm!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:54

oh, this is Karoake City

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:55

This is a Club Classic?

Birkenhead Working Men's Club mebs

Hah, that last bit reminded me of Starman himself - Andrew Stone. Triple threat.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:31:59

Pissed again, Shitsinger...

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:01

That was bad, even Louis was laughing

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:11

Arf at the dancers. DD1 is having a sleepover and her and her mates could do better. (Believe me I'll be watching it later sad)

Nicole looks like a genie.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:17

The bods that wrote this, wrote 'I wanna dance with somebody' by Whitney.

'Cheese toastie' pmsl. I LOVE Shitsinger.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:32:41

Arf at GreenEyes

Hit every note, did he Louis? Well yes, but not at the right time or in the right order.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:07

Tulisa's hair looks normal again. Phew.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:10

yeah Louie, OVER THE HEAD

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:12

Louis is listening again - Seaside Special!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:17

Go Tulisa!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:34

I agree with Tulisashock

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:38

The Stilton quip was quite funny for Dulisa.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:42

WTF "you hit every note..." he's taking the piss. grin
Well done Tulisa for being honest! Who would have though she would be the credible one.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:33:47

ooh, you lot are all a bit ahead of me.

lucjam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:27

ha ha louiswalsh you should go for it, theres no Leona Lewis/Will Young this year is there?!!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:32

lol at Stilton

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:34:47

He forgot to do the nerves thing when he finished so he had a quick tremble as the phone number was read out

Primark One then Chowmein.

Now BE NICE. Not to the Primarks, y'all may savage at will there.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:36:22

Is there going to be one every week that we can't rip the piss out of?


I reckon they plan it that way grin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:06

My friend onFb just put that she thinks that Cardiac is gonna win!

arf at 'had a quick tremble'

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:34

Hello, I'm back this week!

Christopher was awful, Gary has clearly decided that after all, he isn't going to make the overs a credible category after all.

Urban Louis. Great.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:39:49

Primark are really bad.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:05

Did Dermie say Chowmeins got a gospel choir? Surprise..

and No i'm not gonna be nice about Chowmein if he's pants. Troubled upbringing or not. < heartless bitch >

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:09

Ooh, a bit of artistic integrity here? Yeah, right.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:32

Are they Wombles?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:44

tuttut delete her now!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:40:50

MASH UP. You're wish is granted!

The TRAUMA of their troubled artistic souls.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:01

Tuttut- de-friend, asap!!

They aren't cool, or current. They are just crap.


LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:04



GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:05


Wombling free

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:31

Why is she wearing a fucking bobble hat?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:35


LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:37

Why is she wearing a woolly hat. I can't concentrate on her singing.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:50

Great minds Greeneyes grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:53


it's 1991 again. And Wimbledon is rained off....

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:53

No Louis I wanna be around when he is knocked out!grin

She's awful chirpy, singing about the homeless woman.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:42:38

I like these two personality wise just not their performances.

Oh SEAMLESS mashup there. I had no idea there were even two songs.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:42:50

Oh god, I just thought, briefly, I quite liked it. Just for a moment. Then I looked at her hat again.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:01

This isn't a mash-up- it's two completely separate, not connected songs. Rubbish.

Roaring at Louis nodding away.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:24

Louis' face!

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:24

A bit loud for me <old gimmer alert>

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:37

grin Sue

VinegarTits Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:39

i dont normally frequent these gaffs, and i havent read the fred but i just had to find somewhere to vent about...

HOW MUCH I CANT STAND TULISHA whatever her name is, where does Simon Shallow find these scanks?

as you were

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:43

Oh i used to like this song sad - Not pass out, the la da dee la da daa

That's it, shout over Dullisa.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:12

She's wearing the hat because she forgot her mimi fringe this week.

VinegarTits Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:20

and she looks like someone sprayed shit on her neck


dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:30

And again, I agree with T-birdshock

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:32

MK1 - oooh What The Fook was that? Not bad eh!? Agree with Barlow.

We're the bob bob Bobinogs...

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:46

I agree with Gary - 1st half was by far better

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:02

Nicole has been drinking surely

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:06

Schmazing? Fembot, you are spoiling us.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:06

What Language does Nicole speak?

Uhura has had a sneaky swig on the bridge Cap'n.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:20

Off her tits

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:48

I thought that her voice is not strong enough to carry that song.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:45:56

Mouseketeers? Like Dogtanian?But mouse-like?

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:50

Absolutely PMSL @ bobinogs

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:51


Mouseketeers are the Gawdawful Mickey Mouse singers on American telly. Where Christina Shouty and Britney and Trousersnake came from .

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:46:56

Think 'tis some kind of Disney ref dRaa

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:05

agree MMeL

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:10

Vinegar, that is a birth mark on Tulisa's neck.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:14

Is the fembot's dress velvet?

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:27

<sits on hands>

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:28
Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:55

Bless, my heart is breaking for him.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:47:55

I like Jahmene. Genuine fellow. smile

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:48:08

He's like the Dr in the Simpsons, with his penchant for inappropriate laughter grin

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:48:24

I'm not being horrid, I'm not, I'm not but this is shameless milking.

Olivia, roffle - they'd not let us in. We don't actually like any of 'em grin

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:04

This is bad.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:08

Olivia, you don't understand. We have no wish to actually see the xfactor.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:10

Club classic?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:18

I do like his voice

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:19

He's no Aretha, that's for damn sure.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:36

Singing voice, I mean

Not his best week.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:49:51

He looks lost.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:02

Is is being mean to say that his bow tie makes him look like a contestant on Opportunity Knocks?

<not sure how to play this one>

Goodness me. Erm, good effort Jahmene. I didn't dislike all of it, or question its Club Classic status. Or laugh at the odd bits.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:21

Club classic??

Sorry Chowmein, this is boring matey.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:36

Ooh I'd love to go, but I'd have to follow this thread on my phone and would probably get chucked out for giggling or shouting Chow Mein or Shitsinger or something!

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:37

Suepurb I thought the same, I would never leave my sofa to watch this shower of shit. Sorry MN.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:50:37

This is just squealing, isn't it?

Oh, I thought he'd finished <pins on polite face again>

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:01

I don't usually like contestants sob stories but jahmenes childhood sounds like it was horrific, it certainly explains his timid nature.

shock what a bulge...

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:02

Those shoes make him look like he's just nipped over from Strictly

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:09

What's up with this week's lot?

Everything's gone totally shite so far.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:16

Thanks Olivia, I am off on holiday that week so could qctually do the 1000 mile round trip to see it grin so I have entered on the offchance I might just win.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:17

That was shitey shit.

Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:33

A little Ray Charles grin

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:34

Like a little Ray Charles!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:39

BINGO. You are like a little ray Charles!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:51:44

See, I saw 'My Best Friend's wedding' the other week,and that's now what I associate this with.

Too warbly.

<I'm being nice, really>

A lilttle ray charlesgrin

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:02

We should have an MN trip. We could sit behind the judges and pull our grinangryhmm faces all night.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:26

Bless him.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:28

They are all being nice.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:47

Whys he crying? they're being nice to him.

Big balls?


Indeed Shitsinger. We can see the bigger balls.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:10

I think they are over labouring the point now. Let the guy be judged on his singing.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:15

Shitsinger is obsessed by his testiclesshock

He's a little Buster Gonad.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:17

Love the idea of the MN night out!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:28


Olivia, roffle - they'd not let us in. We don't actually like any of 'em grin

But would be good see his Royal Barlow Majesty though?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:32

Bigger balls?

Wot even bigger than Dermies shock

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:53:49

I like Jahmene. I do think he would be suited to BGT more than XFactor, but oh bless I just want to give him a hug. What that poor boy witnessed.sad

You know we thought Shitsinger was pre-op? Could that explain the ball obsession?

Arisbottle Sat 20-Oct-12 20:54:12

I think he is crying because he knows he was a bit crap.

I also think he has been a little exploited this week and his private , rather painful life has been prostituted for tv ratings.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 20:54:59

I hate these singing VO5 adverts. <random>

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:55:15

Olivia did you not see how his Royal Barlow Majesty treated his disabled fans who tried to get tickets for his shows yesterday? I think the word you are looking for begins with a C!

Olivia, we've gorn orf Bazza. Twas but a fleeting perve love last season.
Can you get us tickets for Jesus Christ Superstar? We reckon we deserve them for being the only people to watch the whole series.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:55:34

Olivia- by the time we get there,Barry will be act-less and sulky and on tour


YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:56:44

I liked that Cow and Gate advert 80s Dexy chick

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:56:53

Oooh, YES! Jesus! we'd like to see that.

Not 'The Voice' ,though, that was pants.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:57:21

I liked it too, Yankee grin

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 20:57:36

Same here Miss Mogwai - the singing hair do lass gets right on my tits.

I'd go to The Voice for a go in the twirly chairs.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:02

OMFG I'm A Celebrity. Will it never stop?

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:15

lol at Olivia.

We just like bitching about them. Don't think any of us would go and see them. Except Netto - didn't she go to see Jedward?

Might enter for DD though. She'd love it.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 20:58:30

At the very least, Sue and I deserve a Jesus Christ Superstar Dvd pm me for address, Olivia

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:11

Jeez, have they all had a shit week?

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:12

I'd go to The Voice to sniff Tom!

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:14

<jumps in> I've just caught up. Jahmene (bless him) was a bit screechy.

Oh Jade gets a sob story too then?

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:15

Ooh thanks CJ - one of my previous user names was just like yours twins at heart BFFs

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:37

I went to the tour when Jedward were on too MmeLindor. They were very entertaining.

I went the year before too

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:02

Yy tickets to JCS (as we fans call it) would be much better. (2 sittings guys, 2 sittings)

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:04

Good reading Brian. Have a sticker.

Bless Creepy Brian F spelling out the words. They should have drawn pictures for him,

fourkids Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:38

I want to go olivia!

But...I did go the auditions once and it put me off for a whole year, thus I didn't watch 2011. But now I am back smile

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:00:43

Hiw did her hair get so long?

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:00

I went to Xfactor live tour earlier this year, with Little Mix and Marcus Collins. Tbh it was rather good blush. Great excuse, having a 10 year old.

ANother one out of tune and time. And she's found an old bottle of Amelia Lily's hair potion.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:09

Extensions innit

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:26

Yuk - Gabrielle is on.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:26

This is poor.

A JCS DVD would be much appreciated. We could watch it virtually together!

GirlYouMakeMeTongueTied Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:27

Oh, this is crap, such a shame as I LOVED her last week.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:34

I bet Dullisa thinks this songs called You're Three

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:36

FFS! She's got a SORE THROAT!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:45

Has this one mentioned her daughter yet? No?

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:01:55

Going once to see Jedward could be an accident, but TWICE?

I like Jade.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:00

This all sounds like it's being played on a tape machine that's slowly running out of battery.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:04

Hi. Just joining in the slagging off fest!

Jade Ellis currently destroying a song from my mispent youth.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:21

Is she wearing one of Cheryl's rejected outfits?

She is better than this, ol' Tower Block.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:25

Not her best week.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:30

Intrigued Yankee.

I just don't get Jade. Not feeling it.

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:44

She can sing it, just lacking bounce.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:02:45

So,club classics = monotonous lyrics. Good-o

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:27

Its so boring this week. Just like last week. I would give it up but, theres nowt else on.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:41

Fuck me. Brian looks like the Count off Sesame Street. grin

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:53

People really aren't joking when they say Nic is hitting the bottle....

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:57

Brians a bit early for Halloween

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:59

Amelia Lily shock

Sue, you have an elephantine memory.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:03:59

Shitsinger is definitely sniffing something under the desk...

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:26

She's wasted!

VON step to the left. Count Heem, VON!
TWO steps to the right, Mwa Ha Ha. Count Heem, Von TWO

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:57

MissMogwi grin

ScarahScreams Sat 20-Oct-12 21:04:59

Nicole and her gold cockroach earrings

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:01

No. I only saw Jedward once, I saw the previous year's contestants the year before. I can remember Ruth Lorenzo was there, JLS and Alexandra Burke. Can't remember who else!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:03

Hello all. I been at work til just now. That was mediocre.

Oh had my scan - there's a baby wriggling in there! smile

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:08

I heard Veruca Lily's single today. Was very dull.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:11

I was CJ From The West Wing for a bit great minds

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:38

Just got a hint of Macca seeing James Ellis then...

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:05:43

Congrats Faith

Do I CJ? I wish I did. This shit is taking up space in my head.
Right, Baby Shits and Him Without The Head <shudder>. I think I need to make fortifying tea.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:06:22

Sweetpea? GAAD. Shitsinger called Jade Sweetpea and she has the audacity to bang on about cheesyness.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:06:51

Congrats Faith. smile

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:00

Oo exciting Faith! Congrats smile

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:36

Ooh,*Tuttut*- did you see the year of the bloke with the dead wife,then?He was terrible. Rather like Cardiac. Very cruise ship.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:46

I would struggle to name any of last year's contestants. Apart from Janet, of course grin

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:07:50

Congratulations HavingALittleFaithBaby - Hope the bad singing doesn't upset the little one.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:08:40

Pippa Middleton secrets to entertaining?! shock

Yay Faith, another XF baby. What will you name it - Louis or Mingeina?

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:08:52

Congratulations Faith smile

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:09:46

No he didn't go Raah, he went out too early. DH came the year Ruth Lorenzo was on, he was bored till she came out in a leather basque!

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:09:47

Pippa cashes in ...

I'd forgotten Dead Wife Man.
CJ - I forgot Klitty's name last week. How could I?

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:06

Woohoo. Congratulations Faith! smile

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:34

She is fucking lashed

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:38

FFS, who hasn't had a tough week?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:42

Tut grin .my Dh was rather fond of Ms Lorenzo, too grin

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:45

What's the betting James has had a bad week....

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:10:50

Wtf is that coke zero bond advert about? Don't think jumping of a bridge is a good thing to show?!

Another bad week. Oh dear.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:02


Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:11

DRAMA WEEK fer sure

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:12

Jarvis Cacker

Do we think it's cos his massive body is too much for his teeny pin head?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:34

Thanks everyone. I think I'll keep both those in mind Sue depending on what flavour it is smile

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:38

Actually, I'm lying. Last week I was actually missing Kitty. That speaks volumes about this year's contestants.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:54

Congratulations, Faith.

Pippa slogging away there. DH just said that they are pushing Pippa to give Kate some space (assuming you all got that advert and know what I am talking about)

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:57

What is the theme please?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:06

green eyes you are making me laugh tonight!

<simper> I was really worried about you. Not enough to come and see you or call, but I was dying inside. My people were worried for me, that's how worried I was for you.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:17

He does have a touch of the Maccas, tis the droopy eyes

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:20

I always feel like I need to get the carbolic soap out when he is on!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:20

I'm sure the sightof Shitsinger, with her skirt up to her pants, perked James up noendgrin

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:29

Oh no SuePurlybilt, don't ya mean Simon or Cheryl?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:29

The theme is, they're all shit

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:12:49

Not surprised he got freaked out with everyone fussing and being all dramatic round him... hmm

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:12

Having- it's Club Classics. Tenuous as ever.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:29

Louis grin

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:30

I think a strong contender for a boy has to be chicken Jarmaine yes? wink

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:31

I like his voice but he does need a good wash...

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:32

What a coincidence, I'm wearing my leopard print leotard right now.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:13:35

What is this song?

He has a good voice.

He looks like a very young Macca, after a pub fight. The mug shot.

How does this have lighthearted humour again?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:03

I'm a pinhead and I know it...

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:05

I'm sexy and I know it.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:18

Is he singing, oh, ogre?!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:18

Interesting version. He really has 'made the song his own'


LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:20

Mmm I was thinking that too I think the palace has them doing shifts.

Gosh your all right he does look like Macca!

Someone I just don't buy he has 'passion' in his pants...

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:23

The irony of James is that he is so intense, if you met him in RL you'd feel compelled to talk about Serious Stuff. He'd be the type you would never even admit to watching X-Factor to. And yet there he is.


UntamedShrew Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:24

He's being ironic, right?

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:25

I do like James, this is a good version!

dancinginthemoonlight Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:28

Think I wouldn't've to be wasted too if I had to judge this...

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:35

Can see all the kids gettin' down to this one.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:38

He's sexy and he knows it... pahhahaha!

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:41

Oops I meant SOMEHOW

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:14:45

club Classics? what is this song?

He looks very uncomfortable up there.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:02

Yes, must be ironic...

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:42

Mme-it's LMFAO -'Sexy, and I know it'

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:53

well done, James

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:53

I thought it was a good version

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:15:55

I'd never admit it to you shower of bitches, but I actually quite liked that

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:07

LMFAO 'Sexy and i know it' MmeLindor

I like this. Not normally a fan of his.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:14

Bloody hell, is it me or do they all need hearing aids?

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:19

I actually love that song by LMFAO. Thought he did a great job of making it into something different.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:20

I'd buy it smile

It was clearly deeply ironic.
Cept that there's no way Shitsinger understands irony or even knows where she is right now

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:22

Oh fuck off Bazza

Shitsinger is on about genitals again

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:33

'club classics' 'meaning' - eh?

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:46

My DDs say it was "wrong", which is a good indicator that it was all right.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:16:52

Barlow's been at the Louis Walsh random generator of phrases tonight fo' sho'

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:18

Actually, I liked it too.

I like James. Best of the night so far.--I concede that doesn't mean much--

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:19

Fucks sake Dermot have you seen his teeth? Don't make the poor bugger smile sad

lemontruffles Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:31

'revelation with swag - if that makes sense'

it doesn't nicole confused

ScooseIsLooseInTheHauntedHoose Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:37

This is total shut just when I thought X factor couldn't get any worse!

ScooseIsLooseInTheHauntedHoose Sat 20-Oct-12 21:17:46

Shit not shut

c'mon the Baby Shits...

let's have some tuneless harmonies and agonized air grabbing please boys

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:03

I luffs Bazza, why am I not allowed to luff him? What happened with the tickets?

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:10

Am sure this has been said but are Union J not just One Direction? George is just like Harry FFS.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:11

Best so far by a mile. Not difficult mind you. I much prefer it when they do a different version, rather than karaoke.

On good the baby shits.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:18:42

I keep saying I'm not watching it again. Then here I am every bleedin' Saturday night watching it and saying it's shite...

roffling at Louis saying 'don't let the girls distract you'
no, come and sit here instead...

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:28

Did you see their little building blocks? They'd obviously stopped for a little play in between rehearsals.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:29

On Xtra Factor last week they asked this lot which one of them would like to go to the other boy band. And they all answered "none of us they were in the bottom 2!" grin

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:32

Why are they called the baby shits?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:19:36

Girls screaming? C'mon Babyshits!(are these Babyshits,or District3??)

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:05

Does anyone know which J is which, except for mini Harry styles, who is the added in ringer.

Aw, look at their cheeky chops
Tis pity they can't sing a note.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:27

arf CJ grin

GirlYouMakeMeTongueTied Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:52

At what age is it wrong to admit the boybands are your favourite?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:20:55

Yankee-one of the boy groups, wore mustard, baby poo coloured trews during the auditions. problem is, we can't really remember which boy group it wasgrin

These are the Babyshite Raah. District3 are now Dysentery.

Cos they constantly wore those skinny jeans that start half way down yer arse in every colour of baby shit brown.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:24

Baby shits because they were all wearing varying shades of baby poo coloured trousers in an earlier episode.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:42

Was union j that wore the mustard. Am sure.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:47

LOL and so a nickname is born ...

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:54

Lots- one of the J's is called george. I think they should have studied harder at school.

TheregoesBod Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:12

And tonight Matthew, the Judging panel is going to be.....The Bridge of the Starship Enterprise . We have Lieutenant Uruhu ( yet again off in a parallel universe ), the little Oirish Vulcan Louis, and Barry Playing 'he of the bursting corset' Captain Kirk himself.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:20

Yeah a traumatic birth!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:31

yawnies babyshats where shite.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:54

but one of the three Rs starts with an A, and one with a W!

Arf at birth of a boyband. They're nine or something, their mothers are still walking funny after their actual birth.

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:23:41

I caught that one is called Jamie but spelled JamY that alone makes me hate them.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:23:41

That is a set of eyebrows on the left

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:21


I just feel sorry for the 'j' that isn't...

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:23

Obviously a Club Classic from a time when I wasn't in the Clubs smile

They were mediocre at best.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:33

Too much eyebrow waxing all round imo.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:43

Raah, George is the ringer who was added in to boost the vocals when they were air dropped in to judges random foreign locations. Baby Harry styles. I know that one. The other three could be entirely different boys every week and I wouldn't have a clue! They appear to be entirely interchangeable!

LittleBairn Sat 20-Oct-12 21:25:06

I'm so bored by this shit I'm off to rotate my mattress and have a shower.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 20-Oct-12 21:26:04

last week did rylan call gary barlow, gary borelow, or did i dream that?

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:26:45

Yup he did

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:45

Oh, oh, oh ... it's Ming grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:58

Lots- I know.Bet George is desperate to go sologrin Poor sods. But they are the next biggest boyband this week. grin

It's the boy twin that Katie Price keeps locked in the attic.

FangsGoForTheMaidensThroat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:30

Nicole nearly fell off her seat there!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:30

Oh he is such a twat!

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:34

He really does have a look of Katie Price

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:35

Oh god.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:40

ooh, crybaby's turn.

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:47

grin 'I looked like the moon'

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:50

'I've got my reasons for being orange' ROFL

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:51

shock baby rylan!!!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:00

Lose the head.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:31

He had a look of Freddie mercury for a moment there...

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:37

Jordan X post with Sue there

Goodness, He-Man's camped up.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:46

Oh good lord the outfit

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:53

Mash up ahoy!!

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:01

ROAR at 'lose the head'.

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:02

I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to the finals

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:10

Fuck me at Shitsinger's dancing

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:14

Words fail me!

Bluefrogs Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:15

I thought club classics was like songs from an over 30s night?
If these are classics now I feel old sad

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:16

Yy Freddie mercury

squishyotter Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:19

lol you can see his bulge

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:20

Oh dear God

It's almost like a tune....

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:27

Oh FFS Rylan, piss off mate..

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:43

I know he's a shit singer, but I LOVE him!

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:44

He looks even more like Jordan now. If it that's possible.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:44

Fuck, this is atrocious.

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:06

He DOES look like Freddie doesn't he?! But why does he look MORE like him now he has LESS facial hair?!grin

I think he will get the finals. Finish in fourth maybe.

He really thinks he good though doesn't he?

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:15

Oh God. Never mind your behaviour it's your voice you need to apologise for

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:18

If he stood still, his vocals would be better. He is not fit enough for the dancing strutting and singing all at the same time.

He's so sorry for which behaviour? The hotel thing or this shit?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:28

Y'know LMFAO? They have a bloke who dances with a box on his head. There's an idea.

Did he just apologise mid song? Twat.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:49

Oh god I hate myself for not hating that

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:52

God that was grim

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:56

Bring back Wagner

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:07

He is bobbins.

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:12

he is horrendous...MissM he does look like Jordan!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:20

He's got no arse to shake!

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:24

Next week, he'll pitch up in a shocking pink pleather catsuit with a cushion up the front of it!

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:33

'We need you in the competition' NO WE FUCKING DON'T.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:44

He has spraggers hair this week.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:46

Baby Bel should sue.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:47

Is Dulisa in her bra?

He is James Pinheads face twin now, from the upper lip down.

Dullisa is thick as a prawn, intshe?

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:56

Our iPhone app decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and stopped working halfway through that.

DD said, 'I don't actually think he is that good'. Yes.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:57

He looks totally different sans beard.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:09

squishyotter Sat 20-Oct-12 21:31:19
lol you can see his bulge

Yes you could. Shame it was at the back of the pants though

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:17

yay Barry!

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:19

Hear hear Gazza!

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:24

Your problem, Gary, is that he's shite. Just tell him mate.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:32

Tutut haha.

He is at least being gracious.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:51

That is one word, you imbecile.

Shitsinger is clicking up a storm tonight
Terrible tedious cunt that she is.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:35:17
dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:35:29

He was hardly singing...or even dancing....so dance week is a by-word for being allowed to be shit?

I Vill Show you My Heart, Mwahahaha

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:19

Oh she's had a tough week...

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:20

I twitch when Tullisa says 'girls'.

Oh fuck off Compo, you don't get two weeks.

Now, I stand by my initial prediction for her.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:28

Oh, Lucy, you twat.

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:31

Nice Lucy! Lovely photos! Not!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:35

Will they have styled her even more like KD Lang this week?

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:46

Hang on why does Lucy have to explain the piss up and not Rylan.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:58

Ee ah were that shitfessed ah were!

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:36:59

grin @ Compo.

God,me too Raah.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:37:13

Why does e choreographer always wear a hood?

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:37:43

Is Louis going to tell her she's like a little Pam Ayres again?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:37:46

She's written a club classic??? how the fuck does that work in a week?

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:37:47

Good point Mogwi!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:38:08

What did Shitsinger say, when she was ranting? It sounded like goshwar

We thought she'd tried to speak French.

What a shit song for her. They should have gone with t'arctic monkeys.

Eee, I'm that like titanium, me.

Katiekitty Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:07

Spraggan has a look of Chas Dingle this week.

I reckon Chas could sing this better and all

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:07


Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:10

She's travelled through time and space, Raah, that's how. She knows our DCs will be bopping (youth vernacular) to this in 20 years' time.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:22

Bourgeois Mme. Definitely one word.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:22

I do like this song- why's she dressed like a land girl?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:24

How will they get her guitar into Big Band week?

God I am so bored of this now. She is the same every week.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:42

Why are they styling her like she's about to launch into Chatanooga Choo Choo any moment?

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:42

I like Titanium song.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:39:48

Actually I quite liked that <ducks>


jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:10

I was pissed, what can I say,
it was a tough week, my Nan passed away.
People ask why my songs all sound the same
Very repetitive and a bit inane?
That would have to be because I'm hungover and queasy
And writing the same old shit is so damn easy.
See anyone can do it
Just lots of rhymming and not much singin'
A bit of winking and cheeky grinnin'
La de da de da do do

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:11



ScooseIsLooseInTheHauntedHoose Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:16

Think Gary needs to get over himself with regards to rylan this is the person who put frankie cocozza through hardly renowned for his voice!

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:20

Was that a mash up of one of her songs and titanium? Or are those all the words of titanium?

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:23

They really should have ditched 'club classics' this year. Like or loathe, Rylan is the only one so far who has remotely met the brief.

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:25

The judges think its a laugh now (they probs dont tbf, the producers do) but when Rylan starts knocking out their acts it wont seem so funny and he wont be so entertaining.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:40:57

Shitsinger is batshit crazy

Shitsinger could do with a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:41:08



GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:41:27

jessie grin

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:41:29

That took 5 seconds to commit to paper
Oh my oh my it's an easy caper
This is really easy peasy
Shit oh shit I still feel queasy

Brava Jessie grin
Good point well made.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:42:24

Brilliant jessie

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:42:32

Nicole shitface is so fucking annoyingly mouthy.
How fake is fake shakes malony
And how come everyone else is pulled up on their voices yet when it comes to rylan, the vocals were not great but it doesnt matter you were so entertainng.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:42:37

grin jessie

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:42:43

grin Jessie

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:42:59

i hope they have styled Ella more like a teenager, and less like Cardiac's nan, this week.

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:43:01

Jessiegee you're like the new pam ayres grin

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:43:16

Kye could pop round tomorrow to do my chimney, DH and the kids are off to MIL's!

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:43:23

Ooooooh. Just got ver excited to see some Twilight related thing. I love that shit.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:43:28

aha Lotsofdots, that was it. She used to live not far from us when we lived in Switzerland. Well, Lewis did.

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:43:55

And whoever said shitslinger was batshit crazy was spot on.

Must add to repertoire.

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:05

She NEEDS to do something a bit cleverer and more original. Oooooh Brad Pitt!

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:13

Brad's a bit creepy in that ad I think

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:15

Perhaps we should all critique in rhyme
It's pretty damn easy, just allege that they mime
Put on a daft hat hold a guitar
If it's not going well just blame the cattarh.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:17

Jessie, you genius.

Yuck at Kye. You'd have to look at his duckface.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:39

The Brad Pitt Chanel ad is truly awful.

Where's the Yeo Valley farmers??

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:46

shitsinger looks dreadful tonight. those earrings. that hair. that necklace. that neckline. She looks 20 years older than she is.

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:44:53

lol Lots

That could be a classic XF thread

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:45:02

How long is this dragging going to go on for? 10.20?!

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:45:08

Tulisha gets on my fooking wick.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:45:17

Brad Pitt.

What's happened to his nose?

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:45:29

I'd rather Barry Garlow swept my chimney.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:46:26

This has to be the longest ad break EVER

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:46:49

NeilVarnish lol, love the NN

snice Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:05

lucy's just waiting for George Formby week

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:05

You don't look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire, Sue. And I could close my eyes and he sing to me while he sweeps me chimney!

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:06

I really want a settee with an iPod dock. I'd never move.

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:18

Why are they staying in a hotel that costs £500 a night?

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:22

The new Pam Ayres. Thank you. You're too kind.

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:40

since grin

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:47:54

The talk talk ads have been more club classics than the acts.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:48:01

Do you think fists are flying?

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:48:06

Stupid phone

snice grin

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:48:46

150% hmm

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:48:46

Rylan's family are as thick as him, then.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:49:00

Kye sones must be an anagram of something...

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:49:15

Fuck me, ANOTHER sob story!

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:49:31

You're welcome, a little Pam Ayres at that. wink

only 32?

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:49:31

Haway, Bazza - we got all those flat notes last week

Bluefrogs Sat 20-Oct-12 21:49:42

Was he flat?

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:50:09

Key Noses?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:50:10

Flu?Like a chimney flue?

He does NOT look different. He looks like a mediaeval page in guyliner. Same as always.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:50:26

Do you think she would adapt the song 'when i'm cleaning windows' to when i'm sweeping chimneys'.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:50:38

He is sitting on the set of les miserables.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:06

Arf at "medieval page in guyliner" grin

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:08

That piano wouldn't look out of place in Game of Thrones.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:16

Are they going to set fire to him?

Ah yes, this slow piano based club classic.
I cut some rug to this, I'll tell you

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:29

Kye is so yawn

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:32

Why's he on top of a bonfire?

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:39

Shite! Could you imagine a cd of kye songs?

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:50

Sue haha

Yes! Key Noses will do fine.

I am bored of his song. It needs a banging beat.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:52

Sue - surely that's a medieval DUCK page...

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:51:55

'If you play the game of pianos, you win or die'.

Eek, that was flat.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:00

Is this a 'dancing is banned' club classic?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:09

Yy Harald the Flat

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:12

How is this Club Classics?

It is a bit boring.

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:17

Kye darling you may have man flu
But please don't fret, don't let it worry you
You can still do mash ups of Rhianna and Eminem
and people will think you sound just like them.
Just be moody and look a bit mean
Blow your nose and give it a clean
Lucy will write a song about you
And you'll be back next week and she'll be there too
Ooooh ooooh awwwwwwh ooooh oooawwwwwwh

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:23

Medieval page in guy liner. Lmfao. (Sorry for abbv.)

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:24

F*ck me this is DIRE!

chocolateshoes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:30


CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:47

'Cut some rug', Sue?

Ker-lassy (two words) grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:52:49

Boosad they didn't put a match to him.

Jesus, I'm opening veins here.

Actually, he looks like James Blunt's corpse,innit? Post-Apocalypse Zombie James Blunt.

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:05


jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:16

God, I'm really getting into this now smile I may offer to be Lucy's stand in lyric writer in case her Grandad snuffs it.

Wetthemogwai Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:19

Ow my goodness Kai's got me in tears

Agree though, not exactly a night out in town is it? confused

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:28

Epic Shitsinger ? hmm

Bluefrogs Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:45

Sue-you are wrong,he has added a touch of brown eyeshadow to the usual lashings of mascara and eyeliner.
Shame he sounds the fricking same week after week.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:50

yea,cos Chris Martinis sooooo Club classics hmm

So Shitsinger don't care about no notes, she care about how it make YOU feel?
Splains a lot.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:53:57

Kye compared to chris martin. Oh my.

showtunesgirl Sat 20-Oct-12 21:54:01


YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 21:54:10

nicole, did you forget your pount half way thorough, then had to decide "good or bad"

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:54:47

I think shitsinger's been sharing whatever she's on with the rest of the panel in the ad break....

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:13

Next week, I don't want to see any normal posts from you. Love that.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:37

You look like an extra from Mary Poppins
But your club classic did not have us boppin
We wish they would light the bonfire you're on
Thank god for Dermie, his banter's spot on.

Lorelilee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:43

Anyone else sniffing out some sort of plot to ensure Bazza doesn't lose another act?

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:44

oh no District 3 ..I may have to press the mute button before they start

NellVarnish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:49

I wish she'd share it with me. I need something to get me through till this finishes.

Dysentery, yay. More non threatening pubescent boys and dodgy harmonies.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:55:53

Is SalmonElla closing the show then? How many are left?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:56:24

That was the song they play when the lights come on,and you realise you are snogging the minger from year 11, wasn't it?

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:56:51

Jessie, I am with you on this. Let's rhyme our way through this shit.

So Creepy Count Brian is leaving then? New job or back to the underworld?

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 21:57:33


to stop

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:03

Oooo i love this song..

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:09

They're all shit so far aren't they.
If it wasn't for this thread I wouldn't bother.
I tried to watch X Factor USA but it's just so dull because there's actual talent there.
I much prefer the UK Crap Factor.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:40

I am an old cronie and it is along time since I have been in a club, but I have never heard this in a club.

Oh it's a mash up.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:45

Acrobatics? Yo are spoiling us Dysentry!

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:51

Fuck me at Louis dancing again!

MissMogwi Sat 20-Oct-12 21:58:59

Arf at Louis doing the dad head bop.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:12

I'm bored. This year's contributions are lame

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:15

Turn up the x factor music? Ha. Not likely!

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:29

I promise MmeLindor! It will get me through the more boring bits (ie all of it.)

Aw, he loves 'em. The Three Wise Virgins.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:31

Like a little Overtones

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:33

Well they're better than the other lot

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 20-Oct-12 21:59:53

All I'm getting from my kids is "don't you dare buy us anything that they are wearing for Christmas!"

Gawls? Gawels?

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 22:00:32

Wtf are you wittering on about Dullisa

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 22:00:47

I'm bored too but have to watch til the end incase I see another Twilight trailer in the ad break. Yes I know that is unreasonable.

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 22:00:48

Stop saying 'girls' Tullisa, until you can pronounce it

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 22:00:48


Hassled Sat 20-Oct-12 22:00:54

I liked this lot. The first ones I've actually liked.

WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:01

I do like District 3.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:13

kitten that should be the official verdict - better than the other lot!

MmeLindor Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:21

oh, I thought they were ok tonight. They were better than the other boyband

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:24


Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:48

Who does the one in the middle look like?? Bit Marty McFly but not quite...

nelly, don't they put 'em on You Tube?

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:55

I thought she didn't care about harmonies.

Are at Louis 'I know their names, listen to me'

MummysHappyPills Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:58

Wtf is Louis wearing?!

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 22:02:00

District 3 dressed in black and white
They're the best thing we've heard all night
According to Gary who knows his stuff
And Louis thinks you look so buff
You're going to have the girlies screaming
The money we'll make has us dreaming
Your harmonies are solid
Even if you're boring and stolid
Oh District 3 how much we love you
No one can do the things that you do
Whooooo hoooooo whhhooooo hoooo

Lawks, I am ZORSTED. Ready for bed.

Shh2012 Sat 20-Oct-12 22:02:48

I take it back, they were ok. agree better than the other lot. except for their clothes.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 22:02:53

Kitten he looks like the lad in Polar Express


Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 22:03:06

Well they stopped flapping that's something.

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 22:03:10

I thought they at least attacked it and did some harmonies and stuff. SEV-EN!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 22:04:08

I want Primark and Rylan to go. Please.

nellyjelly Sat 20-Oct-12 22:04:41

sue good point....... Wanders off to ayoutube like a sad middle aged woman who should know better

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 22:04:51

Never seen it green so must be someone else too. Thanks though grin

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 22:05:05

It's a shame really that they were this year's tributes. Katniss Everdeen will totally pick them off while they are practising harmonies.

<really hopes my hunger games joke is not wasted on you lot>

chipstick10 Sat 20-Oct-12 22:05:36

I want fake shakes maloney and rylan to go. please.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 22:05:39

HATE the creepy Ikea advert. Creepy giant teddy.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 22:05:41

Raah what are your general thoughts and feelings about Rylan please?


LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 22:06:23

You can't pick 2 acts Raah. I'd rather Christopher went before either of them. I can't stomach it. It's just pointless.

GreenEyesAndHam Sat 20-Oct-12 22:06:40

Lots grin

Raah has the fanny gallops for Rylan. She loves him.

Kittenkatzen Sat 20-Oct-12 22:07:12

Yep Christopher to go first. At least you can laugh at rylan

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 22:07:17

Green- I don't think i have an actual opinion on Rylan the twat. Not really grin

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 22:07:54

<snort> grinSue

fanny gallops.....grin

Jellykat Sat 20-Oct-12 22:07:58

Oh i love the Ikea teddy Yankee, i want him for my next BF.

jessiegee Sat 20-Oct-12 22:08:33

Oooooh she's going to MOVE around!

dRaahhcula Sat 20-Oct-12 22:08:40

I forgot about Cardiac. Pants.

Can't we just skip to the final?

LotsofDots Sat 20-Oct-12 22:08:46

So much Friedman this week. Must be in his redundancy package.

CJCregg Sat 20-Oct-12 22:09:25

'the fanny gallops' grin grin grin grin

I have never heard that before. Thank you, that has made this evening's frankly dire efforts all worth it.

lighthousekeeping Sat 20-Oct-12 22:09:31

One of my favourite tracks ever.

YankeeAlphaBooingUniform Sat 20-Oct-12 22:09:44

Teddy is scary