Anyone fancy joining me in living life according to Granny Murray's advice?

(372 Posts)

As of yesterday, I decided that I would endeavour to live my life according to Granny Murray's words of wisdom (childminder in CBeebies' Me Too! if you've never heard of her).

Every episode she comes out with some pleasantly obvious and trivial aphorism which the characters remember in the nick of time, and which solves all their problems.

In the absence of any other guiding philosophy/religion in my life, I have decided to live by her advice each day, and when in doubt, ask myself "what would Granny Murray do?"

Yesterday, she advised me to make the most of the sunshine. Today, it's more haste, less speed. I am surely on a fast track to canonisation if I continue to follow this path.

Anyone else fancy joining me? Or do you have another TV mentor?

BikeRaceRunningRaceNoSkiing Tue 07-Aug-12 07:51:19

I rather like this idea. But the Grsanny Murray show confuses me, because it keeps morphing from Edinburgh, to Newcastle to London.

bigkidsdidit Tue 07-Aug-12 07:53:10

Sometimes it's Glasgow sometimes Edinburgh confused

I'll do it of I don't have to copy her jumper / scarf combo

TeamEdward Tue 07-Aug-12 07:54:51

As long as you don't start wearing Granny Murray style Per Una shite, you'll be fine.

PigeonPie Tue 07-Aug-12 08:03:42

I had no idea who Granny Murray is but I appear I already am her! I have used both those phrases with my DSs in the last 48 hours!

Euphemia Tue 07-Aug-12 08:08:40

I need to watch this again - there are a few episodes on a train where the kids were from DD's nursery and they're all at high school now! smile

Ok, well it's on at 6.30 every morning, and I'll be repeating the words of wisdom each day for those who don't get up that early/ can't bear the confusing cityscapes.

Participants are not required to dress in hideous Per Una combos, in fact the most appropriate attire is a pair of PJs, accessorised with messy hair and a large coffee.

lisianthus Tue 07-Aug-12 10:25:16

She's completely mental, isn't she! If I ever want to wind up DH, I just nod wisely and observe "Well, as Granny Murray always says, ..."

My contribution: "Neat makes small". Not even sure what that means exactly, but it was accompanied by GM stuffing clothes into a small container after squishing them into balls creating an ironing nightmare

I look foward to your posts of wisdom as I'd probably chuck myself out a window if I had to watch the whole show myself again. You are certainly taking one for the team.

CogitoErgOlympics Tue 07-Aug-12 10:28:42

My TV mentor has to be Jesse from the Fast Show.

"This week I have been mostly eatin' roasted chicken...."

Thanks grin. I actually find it one of the least offensive things I have to watch while ungluing my eyelids and inserting the day's matchsticks. But that is possibly because its competition is Jelly Jam on Channel 5 which makes me want to insert the matchsticks horizontally...

kiery Tue 07-Aug-12 10:36:08

I'm sure the actress who plays granny Murray is also Isa in Still Game.
I start giggling every time I see me too.
One for the Scottish mumsnetters, or do you get it south of the border?

Not seen Still Game, I'm afraid. Please tell me Granny Murray's not <whisper> on the game?

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Tue 07-Aug-12 10:53:06

I heart Granny Murray. Somedays I really need a Granny Murray here!!

AfternoonDelight Tue 07-Aug-12 10:56:54

I am not allowed refused to watch Me Too after the guy who works at Newcastle Central started walking to work the wrong bloody way.

certainly did not start yelling at the TV

DappyHays Tue 07-Aug-12 11:00:52

Granny Murray is Isa! Can't understand why she's a Granny in Me Too but they haven't aged her.

EverythingsNotRosie Tue 07-Aug-12 11:01:56

Well, I would join in but DD has recently defected back to The Hoobs so I will need updates on her message. I don't mind. I am happy to watch The Hoobs. I agree that it is better than that Jelly Jam nonsense!

EdithWeston Tue 07-Aug-12 11:02:28

Oh dear: I thought this was going to be a tennis coaching thread blush

EverythingsNotRosie Tue 07-Aug-12 11:02:50

Yes, she is too young, I think. Also, I am freaked out by the man singing "I love my train"... what is it called when you fall in love with inanimate objects?!

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Aug-12 11:04:52

Granny Murray and Me Too! That brings back memories.....DS is 8 now but when he was a tot he was petrified of that woman and would run out of the room or hide behind me or the sofa saying "Me no like Granny Murray".

Nuttyprofessor Tue 07-Aug-12 11:04:59

I have never heard of her but I think she would be better with "learn to dance in the rain." There is no sunshine here.

NoraHelmer Tue 07-Aug-12 11:07:34

I've never liked Me Too - it always seems a bit weird to me. Odd characters acting strangely grin

MissMogwi Tue 07-Aug-12 11:21:30

We are far too grown up chez Mogwi for Me Too these days, but I remember Granny Murray pissing me off by saying 'make sure the parent gets to work' ie make sure the fecker isn't down the pub while I mind the brats or dog.

savoycabbage Tue 07-Aug-12 11:23:46

It makes me feel seasick as things are all mangled together and in the wrong place.

However I am interested in your scientific experiment.

greenhill Tue 07-Aug-12 11:44:23

My DH is always shocked when I call Granny Murray a crack whore I can't stand the character! No one is allowed to be that cheerful about being around children doing those sorts of activities!

However the programme is intended to make children feel comfortable about being left with a CM whilst their parent(s) work, so that can't be a bad thing. Also not many other programmes show single parent families in positive settings.

Don't you find it funny how Tina the pink clad, feather boa'd taxi driver is the taller, butcher one and is supposed to be married to Raymond the trolley dolly on the train? When they ballroom dance together I'm always in hysterics...

Also the trumpet playing woman is the mother of Rudy's child (partially sighted market stall trader) yet we never see their home life and they barely acknowledge each other when in scenes together...

Hmmm maybe I have watched too many episodes...

Yes, I find Tina and Raymond's <ahem> love story one of the more unlikely TV moments. Did they just cast anyone who turned up on the day?
I have to admit though I do like Tina's taxi song and always join in with the whoop in the middle blush.

No problems with following her advice today, I've done my back in and every movement is agony. sad. What would Granny Murray do if she had a bad back? Sit and eat chocolate in that comfy chair I suppose...

And the thought for today is.... remember to always have clear lines to communication.

She really is a wise old bird.

sybilfaulty Wed 08-Aug-12 06:58:56

SOrry to hear about your back, Spot. Hope soon better.

However, as a CM par excellence, I can't imagine Granny Murray letting a bad back stand in her way. She'd be off and at it with the kids and the rather peculiar Claude with a few nurofens down her.....

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler Wed 08-Aug-12 07:18:52

Wise words indeed today! I 'almost' miss this as mine are now too old for it.

FelixCited Wed 08-Aug-12 07:24:35

Signing up, what wise words ... I have daily thoughts from dalai lama thinking GM is up there with the great man!

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 08:00:26

My real problem with Granny Murray is, is she also a registered dog minder? Do OFSTED know that she watches a large dog as well as small children?

Also, how come Rudy's partner never drops off their child so we can see her day? Is it because she's in a band and stays up late and can't wake up in time to take her child to be minded?

And are all the rest single parents or do we just not see their partners?

Have I over thought this?

Badgersnatch Wed 08-Aug-12 08:30:16

DH finds the schoolteacher sinister and he says that GM dresses like my Mum shock. In fairness, my Mum does like a bit of Per Una blush

Clear lines to communication? Excellent, I've just charged my phone!

"the trumpet playing woman is the mother of Rudy's child (partially sighted market stall trader) yet we never see their home life and they barely acknowledge each other when in scenes together..."
I was just going to say surely she/he (can't actually remember thechild at all) can't be trumpet players - she never drops him/her off?
I think we could add our own Granny Murray-isms to this thread TBH, a BBC exec might be reading it and decide to use them.
Mine is "and remember...a dolly in the pocket is worth two in the toybox"
(I do think the way they "save the day" is sometimes a bit tenuous)

clear lines to communications is not something I'd expect a 2yo to understand confused

EverythingsNotRosie Wed 08-Aug-12 08:50:52

Communication, hey. A day of mumsnetting awaits then!

Poledra Wed 08-Aug-12 08:55:42

Another reminder to get down on my knees and thank the good lord that my DCs have mostly grown out of CBeebies (apart from the excellent Charlie and Lola).

Tina and Raymond are most clearly in a marriage of convenience...

3duracellbunnies Wed 08-Aug-12 09:16:10

Don't you also think that security at that school is incredibly slack with random people who happen to share a CM poping in throughout the day. And I love the one where they go to Belgium for a day trip from New-boro-gow, I wouldn't want to be caught in the wake of that boat.

So is this accumulative? Coming late to the thread do I need to make the most of the sunshine/lack of downpour, more haste less speed and have clear lines of communication today? Bit like fly lady but without the need to shine your sink (mine is plastic so I always fail on day 1!)

I think Granny Murray would say, "live each day as it comes", 3duracellbunnies, so just think about the communication. <channeling inner GM>

I realised there was a typo in my post this morning, and it's "lines of communication" not "lines to communication". Sorry blush. I am not a very good disciple.

This morning Claude was dressed as a policeman and GM was perving all over him, saying how much she loved a man in uniform <shudder>.

MissMogwi Wed 08-Aug-12 09:50:21

Isn't Claude the dummy thing? Ugh.

RalphGnu Wed 08-Aug-12 09:51:05

Well, I never did!

Have got Raymond's train song firmly wedged in my head from this morning's episode.

DP loathes Granny Murray with a passion; I like to wind him up by saying "Come away in, honeypie!" as he returns home from work.

RalphGnu Wed 08-Aug-12 09:53:11

Also, if Bobbie is a single parent and her son Kai goes to GM's while Bobbie does her night shift cleaning the buses, who looks after him when she sleeps during the day???


Aargh I'm managed to blank the creepy Claude from my thoughts - you've reminded me!
lol at come away in honeypie

3duracellbunnies Wed 08-Aug-12 09:55:53

Wise words, lines of communication it is!

TeamEdward Wed 08-Aug-12 09:57:03

The school teacher freaks me out a bit too. No way he'd pass a CRB check.

No I've wondered that. I'm guessing she sleeps on the sofa while he watched CBeebies

FalseStartered Wed 08-Aug-12 10:02:02


you lot are pure evil grin

the school teacher looks as though he chews glass as a party trick, the woman who cleans buses whilst back-flipping is on Justins House and the bloke who plays the market trader agreed to the job without knowing what he was letting himself in for, his agent rang him (he's a circuit comedian) and said i've got you a job on TV and he too it without asking what he had to do!

2 of the above are trooo factx


LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 08-Aug-12 10:12:05

I'm in!

I'm not realistically going to get up early enough to hear her words of wisdom though, so am v grateful for your undertaking to repeat them.

Clear lines of communication, eh? That's a good one. Always worth following.

As for more haste, less speed, I will reflect on that as I apply my second coat of toenail polish; the first one was decidedly hasty and looks as if a chimp applied it.

Thanks Granny and thanks OP!

lisianthus Wed 08-Aug-12 12:04:05

Oh dear. I have also pondered RalphGnu's question a few times. And why is it compulsory for all of the female characters bar the musicians to wear pink?

greenhill Wed 08-Aug-12 12:25:21

Don't you also think it is odd that every character has to change into a different outfit when they arrive for their job? Job outfit perfectly normal, but their day outfits make them look like real luvvies...Raymond is dressed as a Doctor Who reject etc

I hadn't noticed that Bobbie is also Express Dee Livery in Justin's House (too busy running from the room shrieking when I hear the song) but have delighted in telling DD that Mr Maker is also Mr Liker Biker in Grandad in My Pocket...

Also Susie Sweet from Balamory was the queen of Scottish soaps as Mrs Mac in Take The High Road.

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 12:26:01

RalphGnu I have always wondered that! When does the woman sleep?!?!

bagpuss Wed 08-Aug-12 12:49:39

GM is unfortunately dd2's favourite person on cbeebies at the moment hmm so I am subjected to at least 4 or 5 of her pearls of wisdom daily (sadly the DVD we have has only 6 episodes). I have considered waking up early so that she can get her daily GM fix out of the way but is seems like a step too far. I have wondered what Bobby does in the daytime too and also how any of them manage to make enough money to pay GM for minding their dc (none of them ever seem to actually do much work). I am curious as to how today's advice has saved the day, maybe I'll have to set my alarm tomorrow after all.

CamperWidow Wed 08-Aug-12 12:55:05

Really sad I know, but in answer to the Bobby question she probably stays up! I used to work nights and on my last night (Sunday into Monday) there was no-one to look after my DD so I just stayed up. Kipped when she did and then collapsed early Monday night.

yellowbottle Wed 08-Aug-12 13:02:39

Have you heard the one where her advice is basically sometimes new AND FANGLED DANGLED things are not as good as old things. It is NOT FANGLED DANGLED. It is NEW FANGLED.
Raymond, though he professes to make people smile etc. can actually be quite mean and sinister.
Mickey John looks like a paedophile.
There are a few episode's where it shows Rudy's wife/partner at work on the ferryboat but I don't think she ever drops the child off.

Have you spotted Dr. Juno and PC Plum from Balamory in Wooly and Tig episodes yet?

We watch wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much cbeebies in this house. Normal TV seems so bland and colourless in comparison.

If you want a real hero to follow though, just look at Auntie Mabel on Come Outside smile

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 13:17:48

No, Auntie Mabel is irresponsible! She's always losing Pippin!!!!!

yellowbottle Wed 08-Aug-12 13:22:41

And setting the house on fire etc.... but she has a real don't mess with me voice.

I don't think Bobby is Dee Livery, I think Dee Livery is Sarah Jane from Tikkabilla.....

WeeLors Wed 08-Aug-12 13:23:42

Bobby isn't Dee Livery on Justin's House, she was in Corrie for a while a few years ago though as Sinbad (from Brookie) 's daughter. Both DP and I can't stand Me Too, it gets switched over as soon as it starts, luckily DS isn't that bothered about it either.

On the Still Game theme though, spotted Navid the shopkeeper on Woolly and Tig the other day too - love it!!

FalseStartered Wed 08-Aug-12 13:33:04

oh it is a different actress, who knew eh grin

makes my claim that 2 facts in post being true a bit more interesting wink

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 13:44:56

Man, I coulda sworn that was Bobby playing Dee Livery!

Badgersnatch Wed 08-Aug-12 22:38:20

Aaaaaaargh! Granny Murray, you're an old bitch. I kept my lines of communication open all day then threw dropped my mobile phone across the kitchen and now it's broken! What's your advice for tomorrow you old heifer?

"Make do and mend" grin

(she has a touch of war years about her don't you think? even though IRL she's about 26)

Badgersnatch Wed 08-Aug-12 22:46:49

Make do and mend

Snort grin

myhandslooksoold Wed 08-Aug-12 22:54:35

I love the way GM ushers the parents and children out of her house at the end of the day with a cheery 'well you'll want to be on your way'. I could do with being more like that when visitors outstay their welcome.

itsthegruffaloagain Wed 08-Aug-12 23:03:59

Anyone else think its suspicious that Granny Murray and Matt Lucas have never been seen together......hmm?? hmm

spiderlight Wed 08-Aug-12 23:16:29

I find Me Too a bit sinister. DS suddenly remembered about this the other day and started clamouring to watch it - it amused me greatly when Amazon offered me a choice of this or this.

tethersphotofinish Wed 08-Aug-12 23:20:24

Granny Murray is 34.

That's my age.

<gives up>

tethersphotofinish Wed 08-Aug-12 23:21:17

DD loves it- is there really only one DVD?

tehers I knew she was a hell of a lot younger than she looks
(not sure if I've complimented you or insulted you there...I'm too tired)

tethersphotofinish Wed 08-Aug-12 23:34:12

Probably both, Stealth.

I'll take what I can get grin

Greenhill Suzie Sweet was Effie MacInnes on Take the High Road not Mrs Mac. I saw her play Lady MacBeth when I was in high school she was god awful.

I have always wondered when Kais mum sleeps too. Don't you think her song sounds a little sinister something about working the streets at night grin

Foslady Wed 08-Aug-12 23:51:26

Thanks. A big hugethanks OP!!!!!! For years I've tried hard to blot this Godforsaken show from my brain, and just when the mind bleach started to work, I saw this thread title, trying to remember who Granny Bleedin' Murray was and now all that hard work of forgetting this show with it's 'do I go up? Do I go down' song (you go there every bloody day and you STILL can't remember and you teach kids/nurse people better!!!) but worst of all I am now going to bed with that infernal 'I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna beat the clock' song wedged in my brain.
I could cry!!!!!!! (exits in pure drama queen style...........!!!)

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 09-Aug-12 06:18:30

DD is up early today so we await GMbs advice. I hope she tells me I can go back to bed after taking DD to nursery...

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 09-Aug-12 06:18:53

GM's obviously...

TheOldestCat Thu 09-Aug-12 06:29:44

Morning fellow Granny Murray 'fans'.

DD and I had a pleasant day out in London recently, marred only by DD's insistence that the Gherkin was a hospital. I enraged her by suggesting it was actually full of insurance companies etc, not Dr Juno and co.

"Remember, it's fun to make things happen with the things that you have".

As ever, GM has nailed it

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Thu 09-Aug-12 06:49:23

The dirty wench shock Not with the kids around hmm

bagpuss Thu 09-Aug-12 06:53:39

I'm here, although saved because I'm having to watch with the sound off because everyone is asleep and I'm trying to record GM and co for dd2 to watch after breakfast. For some reason my DVD recorder only works to record when I've got the programme I want on and am watching it, which kind of defeats it's intended use really... (wonder what advice GM would give for that).

Theoldestcat, did she believe you eventually, or ask where the coloured windows had gone? grin

Tee2072 Thu 09-Aug-12 07:33:26

That is a bit racy for GM. shock

Well my DC are currently throwing porrige around the kitchen, so they're already making fun happen with that they have

3duracellbunnies Thu 09-Aug-12 07:45:50

Well I kept the communication clear yesterday, texted dh twice and rang once, concerned over his bang on the head, he still didn't come home early and give us a lift back from town but maybe that is because he didn't have Dr Juno to advise him.

Not sure about it being 'fun to make things happen with the things that you have', that sounds like complete validation of dd2's current obsession with junk modelling. Things barely touch the bottom of the recycling bags before they are 'rescued' and turned into some random object - boat with propeller yesterday. This in turn generates loads of off cuts, stray glue, glitter trails and the item itself.

Ah, maybe she means using the TV, DVD player and extensive DVD library of which they have only watched one this holiday. That sounds fun with the things we have doesn't it?

bagpuss Thu 09-Aug-12 07:55:13

Yes that's what we're doing 3duracellbunnies, it seems like today's advice is perfect for that. Dd2 having watched this mornings episode is now requesting the DVD too hmm.

I think GM's advice is also particularly relevant for the government during this time of austerity - I wonder if DC and the rest of the cabinet have watched this morning?

greenhill Thu 09-Aug-12 08:08:30

Thanks whatsthatnoise it is never a good idea to comment on something that I last watched in 1985 to remember a fact! I did just enjoy a wander down memory lane on Wiki about Take The High Road. I think all of the storylines must have gone over my head.

Have you noticed on Me Too that there is only about 5 minutes work done in each episode? Only Granny Murray seems to be doing a lot of activities but my favourite part of her day is definitely the "and sitting down" part.

MissMogwi Thu 09-Aug-12 08:41:08

Hang on...she's 34!?


She can't be. I'm not having that. <shakes 33 year old head>

MissMogwi Thu 09-Aug-12 08:46:03

Wiki just told me she's 40-41.
Peace restored. grin

<looks for life>

tethersphotofinish Thu 09-Aug-12 08:54:13

She was born in 1970, so is 41/2 now.

When was programme made? Thought she was 34. Could have been 35...

MissMogwi Thu 09-Aug-12 09:01:10

Ah, I thought there were new episodes. I bet she was that age when my DC forced me to watched it.

I used to love Come Outside though. How to make soap anyone? grin

bagpuss Thu 09-Aug-12 09:02:23


greenhill Thu 09-Aug-12 09:27:11

Come Outside is one of the few programmes that has both of my DC silent and spellbound. I wish there were more programmes like it.

My DD's favourite one is when they wonder where water goes and visit a sewage treatment works. We've had questions about that programme for ages. I like the "How do they get the stripes in the toothpaste?" one.

I'm glad that Me Too is on so early so I don't have to watch it, but can't get the songs out of my head...

GM is remarkably fresh faced for a granny, she doesn't even look as if she's had children, she's nowhere near haggard enough (I'm looking 20 years older than her after another disturbed night with a 5 yo in with us from before 11pm after a bad dream and a 2 yo up from 5.30 and a coughing fit that lasted 1.5 hours for me in the middle of that).... I'm sure GM would have some pearls of wisdom for me.

savoycabbage Thu 09-Aug-12 12:05:09

It's almost bedtime where I am so can I make my own fun by watching the triathlon before I go to sleep or do I have to get down and dirty with dh? I don't have any junk modeling facilities because it's recycling day.sad

"There's always help just round the corner"

I think the residents of Riversea Fingle are as sick of her as we are. Rudy's grin looked very pained.

EverythingsNotRosie Fri 10-Aug-12 07:08:48

Help just around the corner? I'm just off to look. I want someone who will come and entertain my whinging child for a few hours while I clean my house. Any takers? grin

Thank you, Stealth! I missed it this morning as DP had already stuck on a Diego DVD (kids up at 4.50 <yawn>) and was slinking on to apologise for today's lack of helpful mantra. Go Team GM!

EverythingsNotRosie, you need to move to Riverseafingle and then you can leave your whinging child with GM and clean to your heart's content, safe in the knowledge that she is being looked after by a sinister shop dummy...

bagpuss Fri 10-Aug-12 07:24:18

GM is right, my Mum is just around the corner and takes an irritating dc whenever I need a break, this time it is ds2s turn.

Yesterday's advice turned out great in the end. I made fun with the things I had - a bottle of gin, some tonic water and the Olympic coverage. It certainly did save the day grin.

3duracellbunnies Fri 10-Aug-12 07:29:54

Right that has confirmed that we should go to the park (although that is around 5 corners) instead of clearing out car/packing (no corners and no help until dh gets home)!

bigkidsdidit Fri 10-Aug-12 07:54:03

Right. My CM lives round the corner. Is granny Murray telling me to book her for babysitting and go out drinking? I think she is!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 10-Aug-12 10:21:11

"There's always help just round the corner"


There's a newsagent and a corner shop just round the corner from me, which is useful.

VagolaJahooli Fri 10-Aug-12 21:19:40

This thread is hilarious. I've been snorting & tittering away whilst reading. Was trying to explain to DH why I've been giggling but he hasnt seen 'me too' & it is just too hard to explain.

Well I wish I'd read this this morning, we have a bottle shop around the corner. Clearly I was supposed to go and clear them out of faine waines & champers.

EverythingsNotRosie Fri 10-Aug-12 21:23:00

Well, I am not impressed. There was no help just around the corner for me and even DH didn't come home and help with bathtime, he went to the pub. False hopes there, Granny Murray!

3duracellbunnies Fri 10-Aug-12 21:59:26

Vagolajahooli I think GM is saying it is time you had a lie in and dh takes the dc one morning.

We did have fun at the park, but didn't meet anyone around the corner to do our packing!

islasma Fri 10-Aug-12 22:56:14

This thread has really made me crack up! DH and I always pick up on the funny bits on me too as dd loves it!
You have to keep your eye on the kids in the class when mickey John sings his song, their expressions are classic!
I have a funny photo I took of the Tv one day of GM and mickey John having a 'moment' bit I have no idea how to post it on here! (yes I am that sad!!!)

EverythingsNotRosie Sat 11-Aug-12 06:36:13

Well, it might be saturday but we are here, waiting for the next pearl of wisdom with bated breath... And while we're waiting, what does Riversea Fingle even mean?

EverythingsNotRosie Sat 11-Aug-12 06:38:29

'Just wait for a break in the clouds, and all will be fine'

Damn you're quick!
She's the Michael Fish of Riverseafingle...

EverythingsNotRosie Sat 11-Aug-12 06:57:45

My DD doesn't believe her. She is all dressed up in her coat and hat for no apparent reason this morning. She is clearly not planning to wait for a break in the clouds!

Tee2072 Sat 11-Aug-12 06:59:33

What if there are no clouds? ::frets::

You can upload photos to your profile. ::curious::

VagolaJahooli Sat 11-Aug-12 09:32:55

But what does she mean, will it be fine, as in the weather will be fine, or will I be emotionally fine, or will everyone in this house just leave me ALONE for 5 minutes. That would be fine.

The beauty of Granny Murrayisms, Vag, is that you can interpret them however you choose. She also leaves things out, such as 'Just wait for a break in the clouds so I can nip out and buy some vodka and all will be fine'

"Dirty or clean, some things are good for comfort".
The old hoor.

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 13-Aug-12 06:50:30

'Now remember, dirty or clean, some things are always there for comfort!' Just grin

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 13-Aug-12 06:51:13

Oh, I knew I'd got it a bit wrong. But still!

bagpuss Mon 13-Aug-12 07:52:39

grin spotof. <wipes coffee from iPad>

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Mon 13-Aug-12 08:11:58

You can take from that what you will, eh grin

Tee2072 Mon 13-Aug-12 18:27:04

I have no words...what a dirty old woman!

VagolaJahooli Mon 13-Aug-12 20:02:39

Lorks alive! Should this women be looking after children. Is she talking about Claude....oh dear.

"I like to be able to picture where things happen in stories"
Advice to live by confused

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Tue 14-Aug-12 07:08:36

And by stories, she means Fifty Shades.

ah she's going to wait for the film grin

<Slightly vomits at mental image of Claude in a gimp suit while GM reenacts 50 Shades>

SarahAndPercyAndBill Tue 14-Aug-12 10:13:25

This is a brilliant thread! I have long been fascinated by the workings of Riversea Fingle (although until I read this thread I couldn't work out the name from the theme tune - best guess was Liberty Pringle).

Today's advice was poor, although I never really enjoy the Mickey John ones - agree with poster above who suggested potential paedophilia there. Without wishing to overthink things, I have sometimes wondered if Me Too is a satire on the professional classes - Dr Juno and Mickey John are openly rubbish at their jobs (doctor spending all day washing a teddy bear, leaves all the hard stuff to the nurses), whereas the market trader guy and the train cook man are marginally more competent and often have great successes e.g. selling all the potatoes or making 22 cheese sandwiches.

I remember when I used to listen to the Today programme in the mornings.

That's just given me an idea. Instead of Thought for the Day, why doesn't Granny Murray have her own spot on Today?

"And as the Bank of England holds interest rates at a record low, Granny Murray warns, 'neither a borrower, nor a lender be'"...

SarahAndPercyAndBill Tue 14-Aug-12 15:16:20

Yes! And on PM, someone could come back on and say how her advice had saved the day, e.g. influenced fiscal policy or prevented outbreak of war, and GM could say, 'Well I never did!' and make them a cup of tea.

Tee2072 Tue 14-Aug-12 18:07:17


Tee2072 Wed 15-Aug-12 13:52:24

Did no one watch this morning?

I'm very sorry, I've let the team down sad. DS was already watching "Bee Bright" on DVD at 6.30 and refused to let me turn it over.

If no one actually watched it, we can only try and think "what would Granny Murray do" in our daily life and I'll be back tomorrow with the real words of truth and wisdom.

So far today, GM has recommended I eat five biscuits and take out a really unchallenging thriller from the library.

Tee2072 Wed 15-Aug-12 15:33:31

She told me to put my feet up and have a cuppa rather than run the hoover.

She's a very smart woman. ::nods::

She told me to eat far too much chocolate and drink coffee. I can hear her now "a wee piece of something sweet wi a cuppa is always welcome"

VagolaJahooli Wed 15-Aug-12 15:42:10

Oh she was lovely to me, she told me to palm one of my kids off on a friend and then make fish fingers for tea. It appears she has also told me to get a babysitter for this evening and go out for a quiet dinner with hubby.

She sounds like she's gone into rather a lot of detail for you! You sure she wasn't talking to pink woman? And wanted to charge double time for lisa?

bagpuss Wed 15-Aug-12 17:21:04

Dd watched but I wasn't paying attention! We have it recorded though so I suppose we could do two tomorrow and we could all choose which is most relevant wink.

Bagpuss, I love that you have recorded it! That is true commitment to the cause.

Elsewhere I think she has been very lavish with her attentions.

Has anyone else noticed how she seems to work extraordinarily long hours? And when the kids arrive at 7, there are always two or there others already there engaging in some energetic activity?

If I didn't know better I'd think she was taking amphetamines...

Tee2072 Wed 15-Aug-12 21:55:12

And then she has Kai overnight...

SarahAndPercyAndBill Thu 16-Aug-12 06:23:36

Spot she is most definitely taking something - probably as soon as the kids are gone she slips off to Riversea Fingle's notorious crack den for her daily fix.

We missed yesterday - what would GM say? - but ready and waiting for this morning's wisdom...

Onceortwice Thu 16-Aug-12 06:28:47

Just marking my place for today's words of wisdom!

SarahAndPercyAndBill Thu 16-Aug-12 06:37:49

What the fuck is Raymond wearing?

"take one thing at a time"

Sirzy Thu 16-Aug-12 06:39:27

Being nice and letting Ds come watch tv in my bed for a bit means i now have to endure Granny Murray and her over enthusiasm. Not a good way to start the day!

ObviouslyItsTheOlympics Thu 16-Aug-12 06:42:20

Ah I love Raymond grin

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 16-Aug-12 06:43:23

I like today's advice. I have to go to work for the first time since the end of term and I know I have a whole mountain of things to do before the start of next term...

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 16-Aug-12 06:44:17

Oh, Lord, this train song. He is too attached to his damn train!

ObviouslyItsTheOlympics Thu 16-Aug-12 06:48:04

This is a sackable offence surely!

Tee2072 Thu 16-Aug-12 07:04:26

My goodness what was he doing?!?!

ObviouslyItsTheOlympics Thu 16-Aug-12 07:27:49

He fell asleep on a beach during his lunch hour!

Tee2072 Thu 16-Aug-12 07:48:21


bagpuss Thu 16-Aug-12 08:52:24

"it's amazing what you can learn from listening to people"

That was yesterday's wisdom.

Spotof, it's either record it for dd2 or get up at some ungodly hour to watch - I'm sure GM would agree that it is better to have an extra half hour in bed so that I can pay attention fully. <dedicated>

EverythingsnotRosie, I hope your day at work is enhanced by GM's wisdom grin.

" And when the kids arrive at 7, there are always two or there others already there engaging in some energetic activity?"

Actually no, to me they're leaning against a wall looking bored out of their skulls. Then when she sees someone coming down the ages she chivvies them into looking like they are having fun for the new arrival!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Thu 16-Aug-12 10:23:36

"take one thing at a time"

This is good.

Am in a tizz this morning trying to do work for my two different jobs, think about running errands, think about lunch/dinner/housework/holiday prep etc. This will help me.

<<takes cup of coffee and sits>>

VagolaJahooli Thu 16-Aug-12 13:27:57

Is she talking about amphetamines? Take one at a time...with water.

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Thu 16-Aug-12 19:07:53

She's just stating her dispreference for spit-roasting blush One at a time, not one both ends... shock

SarahAndPercyAndBill Thu 16-Aug-12 19:24:29

Mrs Trellis! Naughty step for you. I can't bear to think about GM shagging, although actually I bet she has a preference for going on top of Claude and bouncing away while shouting 'Come away, honeypie!'

Have we discussed the fact that GM never changes her top? Does she wash it out each night and dry it over the radiator?

bagpuss Thu 16-Aug-12 19:36:13

She does SarahandPercy, GM also has a green and purple combo that she wears sometimes (probably also per una) grin.

VagolaJahooli Thu 16-Aug-12 20:00:56

Mrs Trellis! Lordy!

SarahAndPercyAndBill Fri 17-Aug-12 06:39:02

Bagpuss she's wearing it this morning - delightful with that burgundy floral skirt.

There are some things you just have to do!

Sorry, should be in quotes. That's today's advice. Her most sensible yet, I think ...

SarahAndPercyAndBill Fri 17-Aug-12 06:49:24

This is another sackable offence imo.

Two questions arose from this morning's episode:
a) She left her cleaning products on the bus when she got off at Granny Murray's, so how did she finish her work? With some spit on the corner of a tissue?
b) Why is Kai's teddy named after the homicidal maniac in Trainspotting?

That is all.

She's right you know. I am sitting here putting off doing Shred. But I just have to get on and do it. Thanks Granny Murray, you're very wise, though I still wouldn't trust you with my actual children.

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Fri 17-Aug-12 07:39:19

What, like Claude?

TheCountessOlenska Fri 17-Aug-12 08:05:39

Love this thread! DD and I deflected to channel 5 a while ago but I'm going to have to go back to Granny Murray next week!

It reminds me of last summer when I was up at 5 every day with DD and felt like I was going mad - the surreal world of Riversea Fingle did not help!!

VagolaJahooli Fri 17-Aug-12 09:07:24

Mrs Trellis, I'm starting to think you have a thing for Claude, or are you in fact...Granny Murray.

bagpuss Fri 17-Aug-12 09:09:08

Oh no, I won't be able to enjoy the purple and green/flowery combo this morning as my recorder hasn't added it to the hard drive angry.

This morning's advice is great actually because I have just dispatched dh and my mother to ikea to buy new dining room furniture while I sit here and drink coffee do important child rearing stuff.

Mrstrellis shock. I'm now faced with that terrible mental image, thanks!

scummymummy Sat 18-Aug-12 06:54:22

"Just do one step and a time and you'll get where you want to go."

Now that is good advice!

No arguing with that!
I do feel her advice has been a bit samey and not so inspiring of late. But, as a good disciple, I will plod on and wait for enlightenment...

scummymummy Sat 18-Aug-12 07:43:08

I think it has to be samey because there are so many excellently scatterbrained people living in Riverseafingle. They always end up rushing about finishing jobs before they finish songs so Granny M has to remind them to focus quite a lot.

GhouliaYelps Sat 18-Aug-12 07:58:49

Wow this thread reminds me of those mad mornings waking at dawn after a night of little sleep and putting me too on was like dropping some savage acid....
I kind of miss it though.....

scummymummy Sat 18-Aug-12 08:05:38

lol @me too being like dropping some savage acid! I've never dropped acid, savage or otherwise, but do imagine that if I did I would be transported immediately to Riverseafingle.

GhouliaYelps Sat 18-Aug-12 08:17:54

grin i just remember it was so...jumbled and made no sense. The Bella emberg lookalike and her taxi and the train cheesy toaster man , the woman cleaning a bus at night looking so happy and the children all look shocked. It's all a blur...
It's just so ODD

greenhill Sat 18-Aug-12 09:18:02

scrummy mummy I'm taking this as meaning Granny Murray only wants me to Hoover one step at a time... bloody hell these three flights of stairs are going to take ages if I shut the Hoover off and put it away between each one..."just take one step at a time and you'll get where you want to go"... But it does mean I'll end up back in bed, so cheers!

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Sat 18-Aug-12 15:31:28

There's 12 steps to where Granny M is going.

grin MrsT!

SarahAndPercyAndBill Sun 19-Aug-12 06:38:25

You should take your own advice! Cryptic!

EverythingsNotRosie Sun 19-Aug-12 06:50:30

She's not much of a doctor, is she? It's not exactly a 'job' to have something to eat! Anyway, my advice today is to stay indoors in this hot weather and I am going to follow it <props eyes open with matchsticks after poor night with DD>

VagolaJahooli Sun 19-Aug-12 09:22:11

I'm on the couch and I refuse to take any steps at all.

SarahAndPercyAndBill Mon 20-Aug-12 10:49:50

So what was advice today? Am staying with PILs so normal levels of CBeebies are in abeyance. Will I survive without GM's daily dose?

VagolaJahooli Mon 20-Aug-12 13:10:12

What's going on, does it have something to do with Claude?

I was mid-kitchen crisis when she dished out her advice today so can't help sad. Anyone else? Or are we going to have to imagine it again?

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 20-Aug-12 17:59:38

I was washing- up and missed it. DD is unable to fill me in (she's 21 months!)

VagolaJahooli Mon 20-Aug-12 18:30:10

Well Everything, you need to sort that DD, tell her to earn her keep and listen next time. Clearly the wisdom of GM is wasted on the youth.

I have decided that today's words of wisdom are, "chocolate, is good and should be eaten in copious amounts". Well I never did.

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 20-Aug-12 18:33:24

Ha ha! I think she only watches me too because woolly and tig are on after! Her new phrase is 'Give it go! Might like it' because that is what woolly (vaguely) says to tig!

LittleMissFlustered Mon 20-Aug-12 18:49:15

I don't trust the shady cow, though this may be because my ex cheated on me with her doppelgänger >_<

"Neat makes small" is today's rather cryptic advice.
LittleMissFlustered, how hideous sad.

scummymummy Tue 21-Aug-12 08:10:58

wtf does neat makes small mean? I overslept and missed this stellar advice. Now am watching Mike the Most Irritating Prat Knight. I hate him and all he stands for. I want Granny Murray!

bringmesunshine2009 Tue 21-Aug-12 08:34:31

I hate GM! Sorry to offend seemingly everyone, but she clearly doesn't wash her clothes. If she was that chirpy and called me honey pie I'd lamp her one at 6.30am. She seems to work 24hrs a day as the son of the dee livery double Sleeps over. The endless activities and sunny disposition make me feel hugely inferior. As for the thought of the day trite comments she peddles, if I wanted to be patronised I'd ask. Also reminds me that the DC wake up too bloody early.

I don't think this is the thread for you then, Bringme!

VagolaJahooli Tue 21-Aug-12 12:45:43

My house is small but not neat, so that theory does not work GM. And don't give me any of your well you never dids!

scummymummy Tue 21-Aug-12 13:02:51

maybe gm is saying that you shouldn't tidy up because your house would metaphorically disappear without your lovely comforting clutter, vagola!

"Good things are always worth waiting for".

EverythingsNotRosie Wed 22-Aug-12 06:39:49

Up since the crack of dawn today... Now remember, good things are always worth waiting for...

SarahAndPercyAndBill Wed 22-Aug-12 06:41:42

Me too Rosie. My DS is the same age as your DD. Do you think GM means that if I hang on long enough DS will fall asleep and I can too?

EverythingsNotRosie Wed 22-Aug-12 16:33:48

Have been waiting all day but nothing especially good yet...

"Now remember, everybody likes a good laugh".
I do worry about GM's pelvic floor sometimes. She never stops.

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 23-Aug-12 06:58:22

Slight deviation, but do you know who really never stops laughing? Those awful pigs in peppa pig (or as it is known in this house, 'pid and dorge') it's like listening to piggy canned laughter. Most annoying. As for laughing today, it's GCSE results day, off to school to find out how my kids did...

scummymummy Thu 23-Aug-12 07:03:55

I agree with the advice but I didn't think pink taxi lady's song was that funny. that headteacher was yukking it up in a very false manner. I am going to sing the get the job done sing today to help me focus at busy times!

scummymummy Thu 23-Aug-12 07:18:33

good luck, Rosie. are you a teacher or do you have teens as well as a toddler? or do you have teens who love cbeebies?!

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 23-Aug-12 08:09:09

Ha ha! I'm a teacher but my students have mild SEN so I will be happy if they each pass (E to G grades) 5 subjects. Bonus if they get something in English and Maths! And actually, I think they probably would enjoy cbeebies, they just wouldn't admit it!

Tee2072 Thu 23-Aug-12 08:13:53

I actually caught the end of the show today.

And I always wonder...wouldn't the car fumes make all those costumes smell?

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Thu 23-Aug-12 08:34:47

Yes, dear, we are all laughing at you grin

VagolaJahooli Thu 23-Aug-12 10:47:39

Ok I'm still waiting, and not laughing as don't think my pelvic floor is up to it.

Good luck for your school kids Everything.

SarahAndPercyAndBill Fri 24-Aug-12 06:40:47

Sometimes it's important to know who's who? That is stupid advice and clearly situation-specific. But given that Mickey John has just said hello to the walls, I guess he needs it.

I think she's had trouble on that one since she anthropomorphised a shop dummy to play with her mindees...

VagolaJahooli Fri 24-Aug-12 14:44:26

Maybe sSheis a witch at Claude is an boyfriend who tried to leave her.Maybe

bagpuss Fri 24-Aug-12 15:23:22

This week's advice has been a bit rubbish in general though, hasn't it? Let's hope she is back on form tomorrow.

"A washing machine can work wonders".
I think she is starting to take the piss...

EverythingsNotRosie Sat 25-Aug-12 06:52:48

not impressed with that Granny Murray!

FalseStartered Sat 25-Aug-12 07:03:42

thanks for the update spot DD is watching 5 this morning shock, mind though it's Rhubarb and Custard on now, that's a quality TV prog wink

DH said the children on yesterdays MeToo were dressed like a Village People Convention grin

(yes, have got him following GMs words of wisdom too)

bagpuss Sat 25-Aug-12 09:12:59

No, GM, a washing machine can wash clothes hmm

Maybe she's been at the cooking sherry...

So... for the benefit of those who have recently joined the thread, and indeed for all of us to take stock of what we've learned so far, here are GM's aphorisms to date. It really is a code you can live by, I believe.

Make the most of the sunshine
More haste, less speed
Always have clear lines of communication
It's fun to make things happen with the things you have
There's always help just around the corner
Just wait for a break in the clouds and all will be fine
Dirty or clean, some things are always there for comfort
Take one thing at a time
It's amazing what you can learn from listening to people
There are some things you just have to do
Just take one step at a time and you'll get to where you want to go
Neat makes small
Good things are always worth waiting for
Everybody likes a good laugh
Sometimes it's important to know who's who
A washing machine can work wonders

VagolaJahooli Sat 25-Aug-12 21:44:22

Who was she imparting this piece of wisdom to? Or should that be To whom was she imparting this wisdom? Was it someone whose clothes were a bit dirty?

Spot did you enjoy making that list?Who was

VagolaJahooli Sat 25-Aug-12 21:45:11

Woops sorry random 'who was at the end there.

Yes, I did indeed enjoy making that list grin. Gave me a small sense of purpose in this desperate, chaotic world...

"Sometimes simple is best".
Riverseafingle's very own Tina Turner.

VagolaJahooli Sun 26-Aug-12 12:01:42

Wasn't the Tina Turner song 'Simply the best'.

So does that mean today instead of taking the kids somewhere expensive & exciting we should just give them a piece of string & a toilet roll to play with?

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 27-Aug-12 06:51:03

'Clearing up should be entertaining'

VagolaJahooli Mon 27-Aug-12 09:29:48

Ok so should I hire an all male striptease group to clean my house.

Anyone who find clearing up entertaining is either being handsomely paid for it or is missing a few crucial brain cells. Still, will add it to the list <sigh>.
Vag, I hope the strippers did a good job. Finding naked men who can look attractive and bring up a nice shine on the chrome work is a tricky task.

VagolaJahooli Mon 27-Aug-12 20:49:16

My help must wear tasteful briefs at all times, don't want any nasty bending over incidents & dangly bits wiggling whilst scrubbing

"I'm fine if I follow the signs"

madmomma Tue 28-Aug-12 08:05:26

Do we also have to dress up a male mannequin named Claude?
"I'm fine if I follow the signs" is a particularly uninspiring motto isn't it?
I think she has a sinus problem personally. (aswell as several other troubling issues)

VagolaJahooli Tue 28-Aug-12 10:23:50

Street signs or signs from some higher power? Or signs to the bakery? Mmmm...croissants.

madmomma Tue 28-Aug-12 11:02:05

the signs are pointing towards my bed at the mo, and I'm not sure how the kids'll fit with that.

Maybe Granny Murray might say "children should be seen, not heard" and let you do just that, Madmomma? <helpful>

Vag, as GM is already our higher, what you are suggesting borders on the blasphemous!
Also, she is far too literal to suggest anything else.

higher power, that should read

DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping Tue 28-Aug-12 11:43:18

Oh, now you've gone and done - my children are far too old for GM and you've got me considering watching it! I think I need to go back to work, or go and do housework or something ridiculous like that!

VagolaJahooli Tue 28-Aug-12 13:33:34

ah see DizzybeBee is following the signs from Our Gran, she is guiding you. madmomma maybe she is trying to guide you to bed.

VagolaJahooli Tue 28-Aug-12 13:34:07

Oh dear that didn't really come out right

GothAnneGeddes Tue 28-Aug-12 16:54:08

What a thread!

Me too used to be on in the daytime and this coincided with me being rather unwell, so the thought of it always makes me feel a bit nauseous.

I will agree with the bizarre lack of chemistry between the couples, Rudi is punching a bit above his weight with trumpet lady.

bagpuss Tue 28-Aug-12 18:04:45

Bizarre lack of chemistry yes, but on the front cover of the DVD, Tina and Raymond are pictured with their arms around each other <shudder>. I have hidden it from view by the dcs, it's the most unnatural thing I've ever seen!

GothAnneGeddes Tue 28-Aug-12 18:20:21

Bagpuss - This I must see. Must!

bagpuss Tue 28-Aug-12 18:33:14

here. You'll have to enlarge it (oo-er) and I'm really not sure about the look on Raymond's face at all now I see it again hmm.

SoleSource Tue 28-Aug-12 18:40:11

I have seen virtually every single episode of Still Game. It was on BBC2 here in England after it was shown in Scotland. I watched majority of episodes on Youtube. I love it. Hilarious. Isla the nosey badstard!

madmomma Tue 28-Aug-12 20:18:58

boak!!! at the thought of Granny Murray guiding me to bed!

VagolaJahooli Tue 28-Aug-12 21:12:43

Oh Bagpuss, that cover should come with a censor rating, so wrong. He looks like someone rammed a cheese toasty up his rear carriage.

"Sometimes things are much simpler than you think"
Said in response to Mickey John's cricket chat.
She does have a point.
Thanks for that image, Vag

EverythingsNotRosie Wed 29-Aug-12 07:18:20

I missed it this morning as DD decided to have a lie in til 7. She does have a point with the simple thing. Maybe this signals a return to form for Granny Murray!

scummymummy Wed 29-Aug-12 07:58:21

I missed it due to miraculously sleeping daughter too. Sorry Granny Murray.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 29-Aug-12 08:35:38

'Sometimes things are much simpler than you think.'

That's a good one, actually. Back on track, I think, after some dubious ones.

"there's really nothing like teamwork to get things done"

EverythingsNotRosie Thu 30-Aug-12 06:41:12

You just can't argue with that. I wonder what Granny Murray's political leanings are? When was it made, 1994? Blair?!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Thu 30-Aug-12 09:50:22

I dunno. Teamwork IS wonderful in a lot of cases, but sometimes I think one good person on a case is the best solution.

[voice of dissent]

VagolaJahooli Thu 30-Aug-12 14:47:32

I have no comment but wished to join in for today.

bagpuss Thu 30-Aug-12 17:28:05

Try telling that to my dcs who cannot work together to even tidy their rooms angry.

Try telling that to any of my ex colleagues, the reason for which I now work freelance. Everyone lies at interview about being a good team player, don't they?

madmomma Fri 31-Aug-12 06:43:48

animals usually know what's best for them


Mickey-John needs locking up.

Kai's Mum has a picture of Granny Murray in her work locker hmm draw your own conclusions there...

EverythingsNotRosie Fri 31-Aug-12 07:33:03

That's rubbish advice. Very unhelpful for most of us! I am almost glad I return to work on monday, no more granny murray til half term (although won't they change the schedule as well, we might all have to manage without her!)

VagolaJahooli Fri 31-Aug-12 14:16:03

Duurrh, everyone knows that, just look at Skippy or Lassie. What context was this in anyone, was Mikey-John doing something very wrong, do I want to know?

Madmomma, that is very strange. Imagine opening your locker door and seeing that head.

JessePinkman Fri 31-Aug-12 14:54:34

I'm sure one day she said 'remember: you can have a lot of fun in the back of a car'.

madmomma Fri 31-Aug-12 19:08:56

Mickey-John is heinous just because. I can't remember what he was doing today, but it was bound to be something unsavoury badly disguised as something innocent <suspicious>.

Dh wants me to dress up as Granny Murray during special sexytime. Do I? Per Una beckons...

"getting out and about is such a treat".
Not the kind of treat your DH may have had in mind, madmomma.
I wish GM would provide sleep advice for the under twos. Having been awake all night and then DS2 up for the day at 4am, I would happily get out and about over the end of a cliff right now...

CheerfulYank Sun 02-Sep-12 06:58:41

We don't have that show here, but from the sound of things, I'm in. smile

Welcome, cheerfulyank, I hope you will find answers to some of life's more pressing questions and inspiration from her meaningful words and sayings.

This morning I was watching it with my mum who's down for a visit and she was in the transport museum featured in the episode just last week. I feel that much closer to greatness...

madmomma Sun 02-Sep-12 16:24:35

spotthat is indeed a top-class claim to fame

VagolaJahooli Sun 02-Sep-12 20:27:04

Which Transport museum, you name the city, I've more likely than not been to it's transport museum. Oh yeah ladies that how I roll. Some people go on a city break & take in a cafe, maybe some art, not me, I like to learn about how the locals travel, and have travelled in days gone by. Ok, I have two sons and I need to keep them happy when travelling.

madmomma Sun 02-Sep-12 20:28:49

Jeez vagola you're wild!

SilkInsideAChestnutShell Sun 02-Sep-12 20:29:45

I can't watch this programme. Micky John freaks me out too much grin.

imogengladhart Sun 02-Sep-12 21:04:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulYank Sun 02-Sep-12 21:43:40

The animals quote put me in mind of one from Jane Austen, actually... "We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be."

I am reaching, perhaps... smile

madmomma Sun 02-Sep-12 22:00:22

<swoon..thud> cheerfulyank I am officially in love with you.

CheerfulYank Sun 02-Sep-12 22:04:41

<makes eyes at madmomma>


madmomma Sun 02-Sep-12 22:11:54

but please don't ask me to dress up as GM to consumate our fledgling affair

EverythingsNotRosie Sun 02-Sep-12 22:14:58

Cbeebies at 6.30 in the morning, imogengladhart!

imogengladhart Sun 02-Sep-12 22:17:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PseudoBadger Mon 03-Sep-12 06:39:45

"you don't need to know how to drive to have fun in a car"... <plans car sex for this afternoon>

ScummyMummy Mon 03-Sep-12 06:44:07

you don't have to drive to have fun with cars... not sure that I should try living life by this maxim. might land me in chokey for driving without a license.

ScummyMummy Mon 03-Sep-12 06:46:24

Or indeed for having car sex in public, PB!

MrsGeologist Mon 03-Sep-12 07:38:03

Well I never did! That's risqué advice from GM.
I cannot enjoy her wisdom, my aerial is broken. Woe!

Netflix is a poor substitute for cbeebies.

It is in Glasgow, Vag. Ring any bells?
The idea of GM having sex in a car has just made a small amount of my breakfast disappear. Or maybe she just likes to watch...

VagolaJahooli Mon 03-Sep-12 21:14:39

Ah yes, I recall, a very cool reproduction of a ye old street in Glasgow, some of those double Decker tram things, the first (allegedly) bicycle with wheels that are the same size ever. And most importantly it is the current hom of Mrs MacCreddies bus.

GM is being just plain dirty, and she is trying to get Madmomma and Cheerfulyank to steam up the windows.

CheerfulYank Mon 03-Sep-12 21:27:48

Well, I don't have a license and have still managed to have <ahem> plenty of fun in cars. wink

madmomma Tue 04-Sep-12 14:33:40

boak @ GM dogging grin

Did anyone watch it this morning? Our tele went on a self-imosed BBC channel strike for some reason so ended u watching City of Friends on Channel 5. I feel a bit bereft without GM's guidance today, sexual or otherwise...

EverythingsNotRosie Tue 04-Sep-12 21:57:14

I did, but I was in a sleep-deprived fog and getting ready for work. Raymond ordered too much water and Dr Juno told him to be quiet in the quiet coach... Granny Murray took the children outside... Cannot remember her pearls of wisdom though!

madmomma Wed 05-Sep-12 07:54:11

My ds has started getting up later thank the sweet, sweet lord so I rather miss the old perv smile

ScummyMummy Wed 05-Sep-12 11:19:48

I caught the last 2 minutes and today's advice was... drumroll...

"it's the thought that counts."

NanAstley Wed 05-Sep-12 11:26:15

How fantastic that this thread is still going!

"It's the thought that counts".
Well, I thought about clearing up the tip that doubles as my house as both kids are out today. That is what counts. I can now snooze the rest of the day away, cheers Granny Murray

VagolaJahooli Wed 05-Sep-12 13:26:22

Thought? What is a thought, how do I get one of those?

I think I had one of those circa 1996, vag...

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 05-Sep-12 14:12:40


I thought about doing the washing-up earlier. [halo]

"sometimes it helps to turn things upside down and inside out"
Only when you've really run out of clean clothes, IME...

ScummyMummy Fri 07-Sep-12 06:52:26

Wow. I like Dr Juno's flexible working arrangements. I'm not sure that my work would be too happy if I arranged a concert from their premises at short notice.

bleedingheart Fri 07-Sep-12 09:51:49


bleedingheart Fri 07-Sep-12 09:54:24

I've just read this thread in full and feel full of wisdom!
I still don't understand how you can 'come away in.'
Or why she is referred to as Granny when Aunty would be more appropriate

Welcome, bleeding heart! As disciples we have learned not question the motives or meaning of GM but simply and humbly accept her wisdom as The Truth. But I too am confused about her age. I am older tan her and would be devastated if someone thought to call me granny!

"make the most of your time"

VagolaJahooli Mon 10-Sep-12 09:34:28

I am currently catching up on MN AND drinking a coffee, oh and the dryer is on. Is that what she means?

Scummy, I get the feeling Dr Juno never works nights or weekend oncalls either. Obviously she signed up to the EU working hours agreement and therefore cannot work more than 40minutes in a day.

Today's advice was to keep everything neat and tidy. Or spic and span. Can't remember which. Sadly neither relevant to my circumstances sad

Catmint Tue 11-Sep-12 10:14:25

I can manage span but not spic

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 11-Sep-12 10:28:56

I don't really do neat and tidy, spick and span, or any other synonyms for 'not chaotic' ...

TuesdayNext Tue 11-Sep-12 16:36:08

She's talking about her ladygarden wink

VagolaJahooli Tue 11-Sep-12 20:45:06

Should I be waxing my Vajayjay. I'm confused.

VagolaJahooli Tue 11-Sep-12 20:48:34

Oh my goodness just as I posted that an add for a mini tash tidying shaver came on the Telebox. It's a sign to get my ladygarden spic & span. GM is reaching beyond Riversea Fingle and speaking to me from a Gillette ad.

madmomma Tue 11-Sep-12 22:14:04

GM is omnipresent??? shock Can she see what I do in the bath when I'm thinking about her

Madmomma the idea of anyone thinking about GM in the bath has made me gag a little. Especially as today's advice is "every picture tells a story"...

VagolaJahooli Thu 13-Sep-12 08:46:00


bagpuss Thu 13-Sep-12 12:58:23

Just catching up with this thread and dt2 is sitting next to me saying "Mummy, what so funny?". grin

I know the answer to why GM is so young and yet called granny, it is very dull though so be warned.

Originally Isla St Clair was cast as GM but pulled out of filming and was replaced by current actress who is considerably younger. They had already filmed a lot of the scenes where she was referred to as GM and therefore continued with the name rather than re film with a more age appropriate nick name for new actress. Told you it was dull...

madmomma Thu 13-Sep-12 22:08:17

thanks for sharing bagpuss grinthanks

There's a place for everything...

And that is a top fact, bagpuss grin

3duracellbunnies Fri 14-Sep-12 07:11:10

Just saw this thread, a place for everything? Is GM trying to tell me to go with my gut and go shopping in one of the bigger towns 40mins away where there is a poundland with some bargains I read about on the Christmas thread AND somewhere I can buy some running things, rather than the local town which just has running things. I realise that it might not be a traditional interpretaion, but surely she wouldn't be telling me to tidy up cos that would be too boring, and it would mean that she could see the state of the house!

greenhill Fri 14-Sep-12 07:23:23

Have you noticed that in the "memory bits" the acting is entirely different to the scene that you watched earlier? I'm sure there is much more gurning going on when the scene is surrounded by that pastel fog.

bagpuss Fri 14-Sep-12 08:06:28

Thanks grin

There is indeed a place for everything - all children over 5 need to be in school... (mine currently arguing).

Or do we think GM is just being a dirty old mare in reference to poor Claude? <<shudder>>

I paraphrase, but "with a bit of effort you can make everyday things special".

greenhill Sat 15-Sep-12 07:57:45

Do you think Claude's skills are waning and GM is having to put more work into their ahem 'relationship'?

VagolaJahooli Sat 15-Sep-12 10:54:36

Ok I have a picture of GM downing a few G&Ts after the kids have gone (& on a night when Kai is not staying over) & putting a little 'effort' into making Claude 'special'. Why, why do I think these things!

bagpuss Sat 15-Sep-12 15:47:06

I have noticed how Claude's hair keeps changing colour - one day it is yellow and the next it is brown confused

Vag - why do you think these things? <passes mind bleach>

madmomma Sat 15-Sep-12 20:44:55

ewww! Claude &GM's sexytime!

VagolaJahooli Sat 15-Sep-12 21:06:26

My mind is now cleansed & only pure thoughts will spring forth now.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 17-Sep-12 14:00:30

'with a bit of effort you can make everyday things special.'

I LIKE that.

<<drinks tea from nice china cup>>

<<adjusts cashmere 'loungewear' cardi>>

<<is a bit of a tosser>>

snigger Mon 17-Sep-12 14:07:03

My personal tv mentor is Oscar the Grouch.

"Not my cup of mud" - motto for Monday

"You're still here? Hey, why don't you go read a book or something? " - dealing with intransigent bosses 101

"Scram" - multipurpose omniquote.

I heart Oscar so bad.

3duracellbunnies Tue 18-Sep-12 06:45:37

Don't fiddle with what you don't understand,

Will have to see how the day pans out to see how this might have any relevance.

Does anyone mind if I ask MN to move to telly addicts so it doesn't disappear, we need GM to get us through the festive period!

bagpuss Tue 18-Sep-12 07:42:23

That sounds like a good idea, 3duracellbunnies, I've already lost this thread once! thanks

Well GM is about 24 hours too late with that advice - I nearly managed to blow up the boys' xbox last night blush. Dh sorted it by actually reading the instructions in the end. I shall therefore be very mindful of this today and not attempt any other sort of home repairs grin. <puts feet up and drinks coffee>

greenhill Tue 18-Sep-12 08:12:59

Good idea, I had to search for the thread once it got old too.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 18-Sep-12 11:18:36

Hi there

We've moved this to Telly Addicts now.


Thanks, 3duracellbunnies!
Sorry for lack of contributions these last few days. Boys have insisted on watching Diego DVDs instead of CBeebies. DON'T THEY KNOW I HAVE A JOB TO DO? You can't get the support these days...

VagolaJahooli Tue 18-Sep-12 19:33:50

What was it in before? Telly addicts a very good idea.

Right so what was it today then? Don't fiddle....<snigger snort giggle>

right I'm off for more mind bleach.

madmomma Tue 18-Sep-12 19:56:25

I think today's little gem can be taken on many levels.
Perhaps most pertinently, I feel we oughtn't to have fiddled with GM's perverse sexuality. We've opened pandora's box now tries desperately to keep the idea that Mickey-John might be a satanist to herself

It was Chat. I honestly had no idea anyone else would be interested. Now I know how it feels to be Tom Cruise <important cult leader status>.
<immediately fired for general slackness at turning up of a morning>

Stoppit all of you with your talk of fiddling and boxes and unhelpful bag-y usernames <sticks fingers in ears singing lalalalala>

should be vag-y (damn autocorrect)

madmomma Tue 18-Sep-12 20:01:43

Who's the blind guy who sells the veg? He can fiddle with my box whenever he likes grin

Madmomma you are truly earning your nickname....

madmomma Tue 18-Sep-12 20:24:37


bagpuss Tue 18-Sep-12 20:25:05

I've got a bag-y username... <helpful>

I've decided today, after watching about 87 episodes of me too with dt1 over the last few days, that Raymond is possibly the most cheerful rail worker you will ever meet. He is eerily happy, I wonder if he's been fiddling with GM's pandora's box? hmm

PseudoBadger Tue 18-Sep-12 20:28:35

Oh I love Raymond

madmomma Tue 18-Sep-12 20:37:38

just wait til Mickey John lends him his Alistair Crowley books. That'll wipe the smile off his face.<nods grimly>

bagpuss Wed 19-Sep-12 06:52:36

"if it niggles, have a giggle"

Not sure what to make of that really!

VagolaJahooli Wed 19-Sep-12 08:14:08

I see Rudy niggling your way madmomma, with a banana & a couple of lovely soft figs. Hang on isn't he with someone, or the father of one of the kids?

What has my Vag-y done now?

Anyway back to todays wisdom, DS2 is niggling away at my will to live this morning, as is the school run. Should I just laugh like a mad women about it all.

Arithmeticulous Wed 19-Sep-12 11:13:11

50 Shades of Granny Murray, isn't it shock

"some things are easier than you think"
<sigh>. There's smut everywhere you look...

3duracellbunnies Thu 20-Sep-12 06:58:53

I take that as encouragement that I will be able to make ds's dinosaur vulcano cake easily today, though why couldn't she have told me whether to use sugar paste or buttercream, that would have been really useful.

3duracellbunnies Thu 20-Sep-12 07:10:49

Oh no, just googled again and most of them have chocolate, which does look cool, but we don't have enough, so I will need to now drive to school and go with ds to the shops for the 5th time (plus a home delivery) this week before my friend comes over, how is that ever going to be easier than I think.

3duracellbunnies Thu 20-Sep-12 07:22:13

Ok, just found 150g plain chocolate, can blend that with some of the milk chocolate and make the volcano a bit smaller, it might just work! Will go off now to try to make a decision without relying on a tv character

<channels inner GM> - can you buy a ready made volcano one from Asda, 3duracell?

3duracellbunnies Thu 20-Sep-12 09:30:31

Not sure that I see GM as a buy a cake sort of person, she would probably get ds mixing the chocolate, which any sane person knows is no job for a not yet 3yr old in a recently cleaned kitchen!

VagolaJahooli Thu 20-Sep-12 11:02:23

Duracell, I am an expert volcano dinosaur cake maker. Make two chocolate cakes, one as the base then cut the other into vaguely volcano sides shaped chunks shove them together on top of the volcano & then make icing with cream & chocolate (basically heat double cream with chocolate until chocolate melted then whip & refrigerate) then ice the whole thing carelessly. The point being to make it all stick together & look vaguely like a mountain. See if you can buy some red readymade icing. Make some lava looking type rivers down the sides running away from the main Caldera bit at the top. Finally, buy a couple of small toy dinosaurs & arrange around the volcano. Voila, volcano with extra birthday presents in the form of dinosaur figurines.

3duracellbunnies Thu 20-Sep-12 14:04:29

Half way through the cake, didn't have cream so used butter + chocolate icing instead, there was enough. I had made it in a bowl so trimmed the cake and combined the crumbled cake with choc + butter to make a low island which I have put green icing on. Have made some palm trees with rolos and sugar paste leaves. The dinosaurs are a mixture of chocolate and some marzipan ones made in a dinosaur mold. Just need to do some sea and lava which I thought I might do glace icing and see where it runs. I have a fountain candle for the top. It has been quite easy once I decided I did have enough chocolate. Just got to convince ds that he can't eat it before his party!!

VagolaJahooli Thu 20-Sep-12 17:46:09

Wow that sounds quite professional compared to mine.

bagpuss Thu 20-Sep-12 17:51:24

Wow! That really does sounds good! When is his birthday 3duracellbunnies? My dts are three in two weeks' time smile.

"Always be kind to animals".
Not sure how I'm going to fit that one into my day. UNless she is referring to my DCs as animals which, while apposite, is also quite rude as she Doesn't Know Me.

3duracellbunnies Fri 21-Sep-12 07:11:15

Do I detect a touch of disillusion with Guru Murphy spotofcheerfulness ? Can't see the immediate relevance, though we do pass lots of dogs on the school run, will try extra hard to make sure dc don't scoot over them! Only other animals in my life are dinosaurs, will try to treat my cake moulds with respect! Party is Sunday, he will be 3 next week, my baby is getting big!

I am particularly grumpy today as have been up all night with DS2 and needed some inspiration not an advertorial for the RSPCA!

Good luck with the party, 3duracell. Are you doing small and intimate or large and chaotic? smile

bagpuss Fri 21-Sep-12 07:48:20

Good luck with the party! I haven't even decided what we're doing yet. A nice postman woke me up at 7.15 this morning by delivering a parcel which turned out to be part of the dts present so at least that's sorted.

Wrt today's advice, I could be extra kind to all the daddy long legs and spiders which are all over the house. I was going to do some housework but that might disturb them I suppose so I'll have to abstain - I'm sure this is what GM means wink.

Spotof I can sympathise, dt1 decided to wake up at 4.30 am and announce to the whole house that she was bored hmm. I'm afraid I was less than my usual cheery self blush <drinks vat of coffee>

3duracellbunnies Fri 21-Sep-12 08:09:37

I thought we would go for the small and chaotic approach! He is having 3 friends, but by the time we add siblings (convieniently including both dd1 + dd2's best friends) it comes to 11 siblings. Is supposed to be at the park but looks as if there might be the end of a hurracane coming in, which means it has to be at home, the spiders will have to go. Sorry GM, but if she did long term weather forecasts it could all haave been avoided. Still not completely given up hope of the park so I guess the cleaning could wait until tomorrow!

greenhill Fri 21-Sep-12 09:58:20

Why were our DC's so unsettled last night? My DS had the screaming abdabs yesterday evening because I went to a parents evening at my DD's school. I settled him after a further hour, then had him in bed with me from 1 as he kept shouting for me; he woke frequently and needed water each time. Grrr.

My DS was not kind to animals as he had usurped our cat's role as hot water bottle and had tried to lie on top of her, as he cuddled her. Sensibly she slept elsewhere. Yawn. I will be kind to animals by not hoovering and keeping DS away from the cat smile

Arithmeticulous Fri 21-Sep-12 10:51:41

"Always be kind to animals"

Like rabbits.

3Duracell, you don't happen to live in Sussex do you? I overheard another mum at my DS's gym class today talking about a volcano cake she had made and did wonder...

I have now got sent into birthday panic as DS1's birthday is on 17 Dec, DS2's is on 29 Dec and i haven't given a thought as to parties. I hope GM has some good advice tomorrow about how birthdays are optional, really...

3duracellbunnies Fri 21-Sep-12 17:14:24

No, not me, obviously an explosion of volcanos! When I first read it I thought you meant a gym gym, that would definitely not be me!

I've heard that half birthday parties are very fashinable for those with Christmas time birthdays, delays having to think about it for six months! I do like organising a party though, except dd2 keeps changing her mind about theme, doesn't she realise that I only have 5 months to organise it! Will hope for a pearl of wisdom for you tomorrow!

VagolaJahooli Fri 21-Sep-12 22:23:28

Spot is your faith wavering? Do we need to meditate on this?

athrimeticulous, Rabbits, cheeky.Spot, ar

"make sure everything is ship-shape".

3duracellbunnies Sun 23-Sep-12 07:29:24

Oh no, she sounds like my mother now, more pressure to get the house tidy for ds's party. It was going too be at the park but the forecast of torrential downpours makes that unlikely, so have had to wade through loads of tidying as well as usual party prep.

Hopefully she doesn't mean that the storm will turn the house into a ship and we need to be preparing to hoist the mainsail!

VagolaJahooli Sun 23-Sep-12 12:39:07

I have a pirate ship mold, is she telling me I should make a ship shaped cake?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sun 23-Sep-12 12:52:23

I'm ignoring the ship-shape one.

I am always kind to animals though.

bagpuss Tue 25-Sep-12 13:15:26

I have a ship shaped butter dish grin

Today's is "Play safe, play well". I'm not sure how to apply that to the rest of the day confused.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 25-Sep-12 13:28:33

I'm making tea in a minute, so I'm taking it to mean 'Play safe: make sure you brew your tea long enough'.

3duracellbunnies Tue 25-Sep-12 16:56:19

I will take it to mean the fun time ds and I had looking at lego models in the lego store and hide this thread from dh, don't want him getting any ideas

VagolaJahooli Tue 25-Sep-12 21:14:19


bagpuss Wed 26-Sep-12 10:17:46

"Don't forget to look after yourself"

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 26-Sep-12 10:23:33

Oh, that's a good one.

I often do forget.

<<shovels in crisps>>

<<makes yet more tea>>

<<slumps and slouches at desk>>

greenhill Wed 26-Sep-12 11:09:14

I like that one, I've just had a chocolate chip brioche and have a brew

3duracellbunnies Thu 27-Sep-12 06:43:59

Remember some of the best inventions are discovered by accident

well if someone accidently discovers a way to stop dh waking me up at 4am and then fidgeting until ds wakes me a 6, please let me know. Might just have to continue yesterday's advice.

i agree. It's also more of a "something to appreciate" rather than specific advice. If someone can invent DP a memory so he wakes me at 7.30 rather than 6.30 as agreed after rather large night out I would be most grateful <mouth like bottom of birdcage>

"nothing is impossible when you know how".

bagpuss Fri 28-Sep-12 09:18:15

She's been reading the Kamasutra again wink.

VagolaJahooli Fri 28-Sep-12 16:28:38

So if I don't know how to do something, it is possible so I shouldn't try, is that what she is saying. I know how to make chocolate cake, but I don't know how to make waldorf salad. Should I just eat cake forever? Is that what she is saying?

So this gist of today's advice was "sometimes you have to clear up after others".
Sometimes??? She has clearly never been to my house...

Arithmeticulous Sat 29-Sep-12 14:18:40

She means Claude's emissions. <bleuk>

3duracellbunnies Mon 08-Oct-12 06:50:40

It's brilliant to be able to do more than one thing

She was talking about having more than one skill, but I think that might mean that it would be really good if I sit down and have a relax while ds is at preschool as well as tidying the conservatory!

bagpuss Thu 11-Oct-12 06:55:08

"Smiles spread and so do frowns"

I wish sleep spread in this house. It isn't natural to be up at this time of the day, I'm sure confused.

3duracellbunnies Thu 11-Oct-12 09:15:40

Oh good that hopefully means that the admin staff at school will be all grumpy today due to all my frowning at being expected to sit at school for half an hour between parents evening appointments while dh tries to get everyone to bed. Everyone else has sibling appointments within 10 minutes, except me, frown frown!

greenhill Fri 12-Oct-12 06:40:31

Granny Murray's house is windy, she can fly a kite inside the house.

"Sometimes it is better to go back to the beginning and start again"

bagpuss Wed 17-Oct-12 06:53:51

"We all need a helping hand from time to time"

Yes, I could do with a helping hand with non sleeping toddlers <weary>.

3duracellbunnies Thu 18-Oct-12 06:57:54

Only caught last 5 mins but think it was along lines of when it is raining it's good to remind people off the sun, will bear that in mind as I cajole 3 dripping children to school!

bagpuss Wed 24-Oct-12 06:56:35

"Always take the advice you give"

Well I shall be re reading this thread to find something suitable to get me through the rest of half term today.

Where is everyone else?

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