Born Naughty

[CocktailQueen]

Anyone think that some of the kids - like 8yo Charlie - would behave better without watching so much tv and playing on Xbox all the time?!

[insanityscatching]

In the programme Charlie gets a diagnosis of ASD. This isn't caused by playing Xbox or watching TV.I thought Charlie's mum handled him really well (I'm parent to two children with autism) calm and consistent with plenty of warnings of change.It sounded like she'd had some really tough times supporting a child with ASD without either a diagnosis or the support that a diagnosis opens up.
Would you suggest that a child with CP would walk better if the parent didn't sit him in a wheelchair? No it would be pretty ignorant to blame a disability on how a parent handled the child......oh wait a minute you just did

[Sirzy]

Have you ever thought that they provide him with some security or an escape? Or just something he really enjoys?

You can't apply 'normal' rules when looking at children with ads because they don't respond in a 'normal' way.

[ouryve]

Yeah, and they could eat clean - fresh meat and fish with veg and salad. None of this fussy eating nonsense.

Or you could consider that the media usage/fussy eating is an indirect, or even direct result of their disability and the discomfort that every day life inflicts on them.

Someone suggested to my mum, once, that if we didn't give DS2 what he wanted, he would soon learn to talk. That assertion is no more nonsensical than yours, OP.

[oddfodd]

Do you think he would no longer have autism if he didn't play on his xbox OP?

[CocktailQueen]

Woah! I posted the op when watching the programme before Charlie had been diagnosed.

What I've found interesting in thus series is how many children's behaviour could be changed by changing parenting - or, tonight, stopping the dog and cat going into the child's room and waking him every 2 mins! So his behaviour is due to not enough sleep. Fair enough!

But with Charlie, fair enough that he gas autism. But the programme showed him just watching tv/with iPad/on Xbox and his bad behaviour - it didn't show any other interacting with his mum. He's home schooled and they didn't show any of that. So viewers were led to believe that all he did was screen-based.

My ds's has asd so I am aware of the signs of autism... And thought this could have been handled differently.

[CocktailQueen]

Dss not ds's

Has not gas

[ouryve]

It was significant to his "story", though, that his reaction to anything remotely stressful was to retreat to the familiarity and predictability of his games. When his mum took him for a "walk" he hid up a tree.

[BlackeyedSusan]

Many parents of children with autism are blamed for their child's behaviour when in fact it is due to a disability. Many children struggle with sensory overload, which leaves them in pain, which manifests itself in behaviours which seem naughty. Children with sensitive hearing may make their own noises to cover up the pain they are feeling and often get into trouble for it, for example, if others are not aware that this may be the cause.

[insanityscatching]

It said he was home schooled after being permanently excluded more than once. I'm pretty sure it wasn't him mum's choice tbh. Didn't you see how she gave him warnings, how she made sure his behaviours didn't escalate? Didn't you spot the autism from the off? I still think your OP is pretty poor tbh and baffling if you yourself have a child with ASD.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

What I've found interesting in thus series is how many children's behaviour could be changed by changing parenting

Yes, I imagine if I changed my parenting and allowed my dcs (both with SNs) to do pretty much whatever they wanted, there wouldn't be nearly so many meltdowns and screams and upsets. Of course, they'd be on screens/video games pretty much 24/7 then... but oh wait, there's this:

Anyone think that some of the kids - like 8yo Charlie - would behave better without watching so much tv and playing on Xbox all the time?!

And of course the eventual threads about children running around in public places and being noisy.

"Changing parenting" often means rearranging everyone else's life/schedule around that of the child with asd. As a parent, I do tons of things specifically because it helps ds1 cope better with the world around him. One would think this was not a new idea to you.

Interesting that you seem to think that all children will present just like your child. I have two children with SNs, and they both present utterly differently. Techniques that work with one child are disastrous with the other. I'm surprised that the idea that "different children present differently" seems to be a bolt from the blue, tbh.

And anyone watching those programmes that isn't aware that the way they edit it influences the viewers greatly is, well... quite frankly... pretty naive.

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

My ds's has asd so I am aware of the signs of autism

You are clearly not.

[youarekiddingme]

Nope I don't.

My DS uses his iPad and netbook as an escape from a world he finds utterly confusing.

Taking him off of it when he's not ready to interact with a world outside his creates disaster and behaviour difficulties - not allowing him on it.

Yes, I'll admit he can easily have a meltdown because something goes wrong on game, it takes too long to load up etc - but he has those meltdowns anyway.

[ALittleFaith]

Oh I just wanted to hug his Mum at the end! The look of relief on her face when he had a diagnosis. She was clearly at her wit's end trying to help her son and someone finally took her seriously. At the start I think he was playing games because it was the only thing that comforted him. Getting a diagnosis will at least mean she gets some support and advice on how best to support him.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

Sadly getting a diagnosis usually means they pat you on the head and send you on your merry way, left to continue dealing with it on your own.

[ALittleFaith]

She did get some strategies for helping him with his avoidance though which she said was helping. I got the impression that she had been told it was all down to her parenting and at least now she's knows it isn't.

[insanityscatching]

Although support is hard to come by I think having a diagnosis makes the world of difference. If nothing else it gives you something to investigate yourself, both the diagnosis and recommended strategies.
When ds was diagnosed 17 years ago we were fortunate to have been offered plenty of support but that was most likely because his diagnosis came on the cusp of the increase in ASD diagnoses and autism back then wasn't commonly known about in a toddler.
When dd was diagnosed 10 years ago it was very much a case of "she has autism, good luck, goodbye" Obviously I had learnt plenty with having ds but it was the case for all parents too.
It's great that ASD is more known about I think but it does mean that resources are really stretched to accommodate the growing numbers.