Sex on school residential trip. Yr10.

(88 Posts)
Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 17:19:38

After lights out, two boys went to a room where 3 girls were sharing and had sex with two of the girls. The third girl left the room beforehand and went into another girls' room.

School have found out & suspended all 4 students.

Slapperati Sat 08-Mar-14 17:28:07

What's your question? hmm

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 18:23:50

Wasn't actually asking one Slapperati. Thanks for asking tho!

What's the point of the thread then?

Nocomet Sat 08-Mar-14 18:30:52

Doesn't surprise me.

Almost 30 years ago a group of 14y were sent home from our youth club trip for climbing in and out of bed together. I don't think they quite got the privacy to have sex, but one if the boys was quite happy waving his 'tiny' penis round the room.

I was both [shocked] and trying not to giggle at the same time.

The leader who appeared to take them home was furious (he would never have told them there was a trip available, despite coming from a small rural town it wasn't the first time they'd caused trouble).

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 18:32:52

Does there have to be a point to the thread?

Okay then, to appease you I'll ask a q.

Should the staff leading the trip be reprimanded?

steppemum Sat 08-Mar-14 18:34:25

How old were the kids?

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 18:36:10

Yr 10. So 14/15.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Mar-14 18:36:28

The staff weren't having the sex though, were they? So no. But unacceptable behaviour on a school trip from the pupils, so a suspension sounds fair enough. I hope at least that it was consensual- that would worry me.

bbkl Sat 08-Mar-14 18:37:10

Why should the staff be reprimanded? For not spending the whole night sat outside the students' bedroom doors?

BitsinTatters Sat 08-Mar-14 18:37:45

Oh dear. If it was my child I would be very pissed off. The duty of care for those minors falls to the teachers doesn't it?

Bet they aren't having a good weekend. Poor people.

Slapperati Sat 08-Mar-14 18:38:34

Shock horror. 14 year olds have sex.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Mar-14 18:41:08

I doubt the teachers will be reprimanded, but I can see the school cancelling future mixed-sex residential trips sad. What teacher would want to volunteer to supervise trips when parents are baying for blood over their kids' irresponsible behaviour?

What exactly have the staff done to warrant a reprimand?
They've presumably outlined expectations.... Four pupils have decided to break rules and should be punished. What could the teachers have done? Sleep outside the dorms? At age 14/15 there has to be some trust and if pupils can't even abide by basic, respectful expectations then they'd certainly never be coming on a trip of mine again.
Incidentally, is this just a hypothetical, OP?

SecretWitch Sat 08-Mar-14 18:48:49

I would not be angry with the teachers if my child were involved in such shenanigans. I certainly would be giving my little darling hell for behaving badly on this trip.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 18:49:07

JonSnowKnowsNothing, most definitely not hypothetical.

I don't think the staff should be reprimanded, but the wayward teens ought to be, yes.

I can't believe the kids have been so thick though!

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 21:29:53

Nothing strange about teenagers having sex. I don't see the point of the thread.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Mar-14 21:34:45

Nothing strange about them getting bladdered either, but it's not allowed on a school trip.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 21:46:29

I'm not naive, I know plenty of U16s have sex. I'm surprised that they thought it acceptable to flout the rules.

Of the 4, 3 had had sex several times previously and for 1 of the girls it was her first time. No contraception was used.

Sirzy Sat 08-Mar-14 21:51:05

Unless the staff sleep in the rooms with the children (which would be a massive child protection no no!), or if you only have single sex residential trips (which wouldn't solve the problem if homosexual relations anyway) then there is a limit as to what staff can actually do to stop these things.

Of the 4, 3 had had sex several times previously and for 1 of the girls it was her first time. No contraception was used.
Where's this info from? Your DC?

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 21:55:19

You think it's strange that teenagers break rules?

How do you know so much Branch? How do you know there was no contraception? Was a child of yours involved?

If not, it's not appropriate that you know. And be aware that if this isn't your kid, your facts may be based on rumours.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Mar-14 21:56:49

There is a limit, yes, but there should be a member of staff on call at all times, and they generally take turns to regularly patrol the corridors. They can hardly open doors at random all night long though, so it's hard to see how they can guarantee this won't happen. I'd expect a proper investigation of what actually happened, and serious consequences for the boys in particular, as they were the ones who made the decision to enter the girls' room. Phenomenonally stupid thing to do.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 21:58:44

They'd have been expelled from the school I work in.

No obviously the teachers shouldn't be reprimanded.

But OP, why did you start this thread? What did you hope to hear?

Sirzy Sat 08-Mar-14 21:59:06

and serious consequences for the boys in particular, as they were the ones who made the decision to enter the girls' room.

chances are it was planned in advance, either way it takes 2 to tango so I would hope they would all receive the same punishment.

EdithWeston Sat 08-Mar-14 21:59:09

Well, if the information was from a teen on the trip then yes it may well have been exaggerated. But unlikely to be completely baseless.

And yes, every step should be taken to prevent shagging on school trips, which does include a certain amount of nocturnal corridor prowling by staff. Yes, it's demanding to go with restricted sleep. But yes, staff really do that.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 21:59:53

There is a limit, yes, but there should be a member of staff on call at all times, and they generally take turns to regularly patrol the corridors

On call yes, but a 24 hour non sleeping patrol of corridors? Who would sign up for that?

Bunbaker Sat 08-Mar-14 22:04:51

"I doubt the teachers will be reprimanded, but I can see the school cancelling future mixed-sex residential trips"

At DD's school a couple of the pupils did the same on a trip to France last year, except that it was posted on FB. Some of the students were getting drunk in the hotel bar as well.

I don't know what the law is in France regarding underage drinking, but I'm surprised that the teachers allowed this to happen.

Needless to say the same trip didn't go ahead this year.

Hulababy Sat 08-Mar-14 22:12:02

There is a limit, yes, but there should be a member of staff on call at all times, and they generally take turns to regularly patrol the corridors.

I have never known teachers to keep a 24 hour vigil outside of pupils rooms on a residential. It would not be fair to expect teachers to spend part of their night awake patrolling a corridor. They still have to work the next day supervising the children in waking hours too.

There are rules on school trips. Every child will know them. They are expected to follow them or face sanctions.

If found out about on a school residential something like this would normally warrant a phone call direct to school and usually also the embrassment and punishment of being sent home - often with parents or head/deputy headteacher being called to come and collect them that day. Same rules for drinking alcohol, smoking, etc on a school trip.

And yes - sometimes future trips not taking place for the next years.

I do not think the teachers should be held responsible if this took place after hours.

Hulababy Sat 08-Mar-14 22:14:10

If I was expected to spend several hours awake in the middle of the night patrolling corridors I would simply not volunteer to go, as staff, on a school residential. They are extremely tiring as they are, let alone not getting a decent amount of sleep either. I don't think I know any teacher who would sign up for this either.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Mar-14 22:21:12

Oh, I absolutely agree- I'm just going off a couple of secondary schools' websites and their trips policies. I can't imagine it's a realistic prospect around the clock.

Hulababy Sat 08-Mar-14 22:24:31

Didn't happen on any residential I have been staff on, nor any I have known about through teacher friends. We got to go to bed an hour or so after pupil lights out time. Got up around same time too. Heck - we even may have had a glass of wine before bed too.

Luckily I'm in infants now, rather than secondary - so residentials are a thing of the past - even with sleep they are so tiring!

Sirzy Sat 08-Mar-14 22:27:44

I would imagine the member of staff on call is generally more a case of "we are in this room any problems knock" than actually being up all night patrolling corridors.

I'm a youth leader and have spent many an evening sat on a corridor with a torch watching for young people trying to escape but I have never stayed up all night patrolling corridors when all is settled we go to sleep!

Nocomet Sat 08-Mar-14 22:30:06

The very badly planned (in terms of evening activities) trip to Holland we went on never ran again.

If there is no evening entertainment all the pupils do is go into town and get drink, some of the boys got very drunk.

No harm was done, as I mentioned on another thread, we got served in the pubs at home so we weren't exactly new to this sort of thing. Everyone got back to the hotel just some people had to be put to bed.

EdithWeston Sat 08-Mar-14 22:30:31

Corridor prowling is normal for an hour or so after "lights out" or until the pupils appear quiet and settled (in the right place). You can never count on getting sleep - homesickness or actual sickness being common causes of disruption.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 22:35:41

Info was from my DC who was not involved but told me when I received a letter (as did all parents) from school about 'inappropriate behaviour' on the trip.

I believe what my DC has told me. I think some teens are dim enough to not use contraception.

I feel really sorry for the staff and don't hold them responsible. If my DC were one of thefour, I'd be furious

Hulababy Sat 08-Mar-14 22:38:31

Edith - an hour after lights out is fine. Been there, done that - that is pretty much expected. And being on call is fine too - again, as expected. It was the idea of being up, taking it in turns, most of the night that I would not deem acceptable.

FWIW we were never woken up after we'd retired to bed fortunately - at least a decent amount of sleep was had by all staff smile

Mandy2003 Sat 08-Mar-14 22:41:28

I remember timing the corridor prowling when I was 15 on a residential! After we were sure it was all quiet me and my intended went down to the end of the corridor, crawled under a disused pinball table and spent every night together in the mattress store!

Every single trip I've ever known run has had separate corridors for boys and girls with the teachers in the rooms at either end and in the middle. It just wouldn't have been possible.

Dh has done about 20 and he says the same.

What drew you to Mumsnet for this as your first post OP?

I notice you haven't said you've namechanged for any reason.

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh!

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:06:36

I have namechanged for obvious reasons! I'm sure MN would be happy to verify I am not a troll.

Not that I have to justify myself to you, LaurieFairyCake hmm

You don't. Nor did I ask you to. I asked you a straight question as you hadn't said you'd namechanged.

Most people say they've namechanged if there's something identifiable in the story.

Obviously there's nothing identifiable in your story so actually it's not obvious why one would namechange confused

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 23:13:05

Not obvious why you would namechange.

Not obvious what the point of the thread is.

I'm not saying you are a troll, but could you explain what you are trying to achieve in this thread? What sort of discussion were you hoping for?

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:16:17

And I gave you a straight answer. I don't see what difference it makes if people say they've namechanged, they could just be saying that. hmm

I namechanged because if parents from the school involved read this thread, they may recognise the story if their DC were on the trip and I might be identifiable from my real name posting history and I would not be happy about that.

Ok with you? hmm

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 23:18:41

hmm not trying to be confrontational, can you answer my question?

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:20:07

The point of the thread * Lottiedoubtie* is that your real name btw? Is that I was basically offloading my thoughts on MY thread.

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:20:42

Yeah another one here not understanding why you made this thread.

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:21:29

What did you want us to say? Be horrified, offer advice, regale stories of school trips?

OP - I can't even see where you've said your the parent, teacher or student?

Nor have you said what you think.

It's just weird.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:22:39

You don't need to understand Innogen.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 23:25:38

The point of the thread Lottiedoubtie* is that your real name btw? Is that I was basically offloading my thoughts on MY thread.*

In answer to your question, no of course Lottie isn't my real name... Who uses their real name on MN?

Why are you being so rude?

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:27:28

Branch, this is going to turn into a bunfight if you don't help up to help you?

We're just stating facts? Or did you want advice. Or opinions?

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:27:57

That should read 'help us to help you'

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:30:03

I don't think defending my choice to name chgange is rude. Just because my thread doesn't fit your ideal, I am made to feel odd/a troll.

I am spectacularly spiky today and am objecting to being accused of being a troll, frankly. angry

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:32:32

Branch, I don't thin you're a troll. I just want to know what you are asking!

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:32:47

Christ, I can't type tonight. *think!

Coconutty Sat 08-Mar-14 23:33:43

I think that the added extras ie no contraception, first time etc are probably gossip added on by the other classmates.

I wouldn't believe it all tbh and as long as my DCs weren't involved I wouldn't expect to be privy to what actually happened.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 23:34:52

I didn't accuse you of being a troll so why were you rude to me?

I asked what you were hoping for with this discussion, so I could understand it a bit better and perhaps contribute more constructively. Others have asked the same thing. So could you tell us pease?

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:36:22

As I said upthread, I was offloading my thoughts. I'm not asking for advice, my DC wasn't involved personally.

I do get cross when acccused of something I'm not though.

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:38:40

Okay. So you've offloaded. Now what?

Lottiedoubtie Sat 08-Mar-14 23:39:04

Right. So if you don't want discussion and you don't want people finding your thread odd then write a diary not a post on a discussion site. People are rightly confused.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:42:40

Perhaps so Coconutty. I am extremely relieved my DC wasn't involved.

I do wonder at the sexualisation of today's teens though. I know underage sex occurred years ago, but I do think we were less pressured. I certainly wasn't governed by my hormones at 15 the way most teens are these days.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:44:08

Lottiedoubtie, please don't tell me what to do. I can post when and where I like.

Innogen Sat 08-Mar-14 23:49:31

Ah, well at least we've got a discussion topic now Branch, thank you.

I agree. Though I think teenagers have always been influenced by their sexual desires, there are way greater pressures and casual sex seems to be more normal younger these days.

And I speak as someone with grown up children, who lost her virginity at 15 - to a very long term boyfriend though, in very loving conditions without any pressure whatsoever.

Branch Sat 08-Mar-14 23:56:14

No discussion needed thanks Innogen. Was merely an observation.

Innogen Sun 09-Mar-14 00:04:39

You do know that mn is a discussion board? You write an OP, and open the topic up to discussion.

Lottiedoubtie Sun 09-Mar-14 00:05:48

I'm not telling you what to do! I'm giving you friendly advice because posting on a discussion board and then doing your best to close down any actual discussion is the road to discontent. Feel free to ignore my advice, just as I'll ignore your requests not to discuss on YOUR thread (your capitalisation) hmm

innogen I'm not sure I agree. I think teenagers have been ruled by their rampant hormones for century's- just look at Romeo and Juliet wink

And teenage sex rates have gone up and down as societies tolerance/acceptance of it have swung back and forth.

What concerns me with this generation is the way technology makes their past hang around forever though.

Branch Sun 09-Mar-14 00:05:56

And it's also a place for people to muse.

ouryve Sun 09-Mar-14 00:08:34

's'nothing new.

Nice to have a gossip about teenagers and what they're up to, though. (Surely that's the point of your very own personal own personal thread?)

ouryve Sun 09-Mar-14 00:10:24

And teens, when I was a teen, a geological age ago, were all talking about and often doing sex, too.

Innogen Sun 09-Mar-14 00:11:31

Probably true Lottie. Do think teens in my grandmas generation has a stronger concept of shame though. They wouldn't have had sex on a school trip for fear of the gossip.

Social media and selfies and the recording of data have made prominent sexuality more permanent and public though!

TheZeeTeam Sun 09-Mar-14 00:16:11

The school should discipline the kids accordingly. In our schools, it would be a suspension. Jeeze, we have to sign a 3 page contract for our kids to go to Junior Prom. If this happened here (I'm in the States), there would be a bloody uproar!!!

Lottiedoubtie Sun 09-Mar-14 09:23:48

Yes, there is something in that. In previous generations there was a sense of shame amongst the teens themselves. That doesn't appear to be present now, although I'm not sure it has been present for 15-20 years or so, so not nec. New.

cory Sun 09-Mar-14 12:55:32

Given that teenage pregnancy rates were verifiably higher in our young days than they are now, I don't know what this story is actually supposed to prove about today's youth. That they are no different from their parents despite the evidence of statistics?

And for the record, I don't remember social medias or selfies being around in my young days. Teenage sex certainly was, as can be easibly verified by looking up the records.

TheZeeTeam, the OP made it quite clear that there was outrage and that the students have been suspended. So exactly what you'd expect, really.

So what we learn from the OP seems to sum up as:

(a probably small number of) teenagers today get up to pretty much the same as (a small number of teenagers) got up to on school trips 30 years ago

they are punished in pretty much the same way as they would have been 30 years ago

Plus ca change.

SugarMouse1 Fri 14-Mar-14 18:46:49

Why was the third girl suspended? That's ridiculous.

Incidentally, when I went on a school trip at 14, the staff locked everyone in their rooms with a key from the outside, so there was no chance for any shenanigans. Alternatively, the girls and boys could stay at separate hotels/hostels.

Slapperati Fri 14-Mar-14 19:41:58

Sugar - serious fire risk that!

Tullahulla Fri 14-Mar-14 19:48:07

Never slag off other teens, you don't know how your own are going to turn out, or indeed what they may be upto themselves.

sami1985 Fri 14-Mar-14 21:31:11

I was active at 14 with strong sexual feelings at 13. I had sex because I wanted too and felt ready, there was no pressure. Looking back I wasn't emotionally ready, but physically I was. I also wasn't ready to be a mum, but I haven't done too bad 13 years later lol.

Ludways Fri 14-Mar-14 21:37:23

I used to go away with groups of 14/15 year olds several times a year when I was that age, 30 years ago. There was plenty of sex amongst a small few and there's absolutely nothing the chaperones could've done about it. Even when there were chaperones sitting at the end of the corridors we'd find ways of distracting them and getting out of our rooms. I wasn't one of those having sex but I was def one getting into plenty of mischief, lol

Maryz Fri 14-Mar-14 21:52:34

Something similar happened in a school near me.

It will be interesting to see what the outcome is - in the case I know about the boys were expelled, the girls offered counselling. Which I was a bit hmm about.

Maryz Fri 14-Mar-14 21:54:05

And what Tullahulla said grin

The number of times I have nodded and hmm'ed as parents give out yards about "other people's teenagers", blissfully unaware what their own are up to [sigh]

I too feel sorry for the teachers. And I would be fucking furious with any of the kids if they were mine - surely they could find a better time and place to have sex than on a school trip.

cory Sat 15-Mar-14 08:51:13

coming back to this thread, I have thought of a difference to the residential trips of a generation ago:

when my peers got drunk at the back of the bus or shagged each other in hotel rooms, nobody thought to blame the teachers or suggest that they should be holding the hands of their charges 24/7 to ensure that they didn't do...errrr...what teenagers do.

LittleBearPad Sat 15-Mar-14 09:00:19

Sugar mouse, only four kids have been suspended - two boys two girls.

TeenAndTween Sun 16-Mar-14 18:56:27

I feel really sorry for the teachers. They probably feel guilty even though it really is not their fault if 5 teenagers conspire to deliberately break one of the strongest rules there could possibly be on a school trip.

WooAGhostCat Sun 16-Mar-14 19:29:50

What a bloody weird thread!

Teenagers on a residential behave badly shock shock shock
Cats bum face Mum is sure her little darling is nothing but a perfect angel and passes judgement on others children.

Tale of every residential every time ever

FabBakerGirl Sun 16-Mar-14 19:39:12

How do you know such intimate details about it all?

I personally think it is sad that some teenagers feel pressured into having sex at such a young age. And it is illegal. Kids are in such a hurry to grow up.

flow4 Sun 16-Mar-14 20:01:26

My DS2 (14) is going on a mixed residential trip out at sea with 40+ other 14-17 year olds. They, and we parents, have all been told there would be 'serious consequences' if there was any physical contact, with the YP concerned bring put ashore at the nearest port and their parents needing to fetch them.

I'd be furious if a child of mine broke such a well-defined rule.

'Duty of care', incidentally, means that the adult(s) looking after your child have to take care of them as a reasonable parent would. None of us would be able to stop our own teenagers from shagging either, if they were determined enough.

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