Reward for GCSE results

(46 Posts)
Viking1 Sun 25-Aug-13 11:01:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Sun 25-Aug-13 11:13:33

Erm...the reward is in the grade themselves.

exoticfruits Sun 25-Aug-13 11:19:48

Agree with Lynette- they are doing for themselves not you. Cook a special meal.

It's nice to mark the fact that she has done well, worked hard etc. But that could be a trip to the pictures, meal at McDs, 'special' meal at home, whatever you do for each other that is 'nice'.

If other people have the odd £500 lying around, well that's lovely for them and they can throw it at their teenagers if they like. But what other people are idiot rich ebough to do is their choice and doesn't mean that you 'ought' to do anything remotely like that. Specially if she is an entitled cow who starts telling you stuff like that to make you feel guilty.

My response would be "Well, that's lovely for them dear. Would you prefer a hobnob or a rich tea?"

flow4 Sun 25-Aug-13 11:34:13

I think it's easy to feel guilty about money when you're bringing kids up on a tight income - or is that just me?! - and our teens are skilled at picking up on that guilt and milking it. hmm

Don't get guilt-tripped into giving her a financial reward you can't afford. Celebrate some other way - a special meal, as exotic suggests, or a day out together, or something else she'd enjoy. smile

PurpleGirly Sun 25-Aug-13 11:38:11

DSSs mum and SD gave him £100 for every GCSE he got (9)shock. We had a family meal, GPs, SGPs, family friends etc. party food and cake.

Two years on he still says the meal was one of the best nights he has had.

NoComet Sun 25-Aug-13 12:12:29

I got 8 straight A's and a cuddly toy I still have 29 years later. For me the utter joy at getting my results was all I needed (this is back when a's weren't that common and no way did I expect to get an A for everything. I made up most of my History).

DD1 is getting £15 for her Y10 science A (she happens to owe me it for a set of DVDs).

We may well have a meal out next week, but we tend to do that at the end of the holidays anyway.

No to money rewards and no to anything at all if she's banging on about it!

DD1 did very well indeed and her 'reward' was a trip to London to buy her suits for 6th form and a nice bag.

DD2 has done okay and her reward will be some new jeans!

For both of them, we had a family meal out.

monikar Sun 25-Aug-13 12:45:20

I agree, the reward should be in the results themselves. I think at the age of 16, they are starting to enter the phase in their lives when they have to take some responsibility - their grades are for themselves and not just to please their parents. DD did GCSEs last year and many of her year group were receiving huge monetary rewards, as others have described, some on a sliding scale - £100 for an A*, £80 for an A, £50 for a B and so on. Some parents took money away from the 'reward pot' for a C! I was astonished.

For our DD we all went for a pub lunch and bought her a card. She was really pleased with this.

PeriodMath Sun 25-Aug-13 12:50:08

She needs to learn that her achievement and pride in her efforts are the only "reward" she needs.

Do not give in to this. Remind her why she worked hard and did well - to build a future for herself, not to get an iPad (or whatever). Tbh, I'm sure she knows this and is just trying it on.

Be firm.

I am always amazed that some parents pay their children to pass exams.

BackforGood Sun 25-Aug-13 12:51:13

Agree with everyone else - the reward is the results.
I will praise dd for the effort she has put in, at the end of the exams. We might raise a toast or something if she was particularly pleased with what she got.
When ds took his, he didn't put in any effort. He did alright, but my message was - imagine what you could have done if you'd worked. After his AS exams this year - I did praise him as he's worked hard all year (I mean, I've said lots to him during the year as well, but made a bit of a 'thing' about it after the exams). The fact he passed his ASs are the reward for that hard work though.

KatyMac Sun 25-Aug-13 12:52:48

DD got a DVD & is getting a new lipstick - a little treat to show how proud we are of her, rather than a reward

She gets the benefit of her results, which is the reward in itself

OhOneOhTwoOhThree Sun 25-Aug-13 12:54:01

I'm glad to read that we're not the only stingy parents in the world grin.

MrsDavidBowie Sun 25-Aug-13 18:19:11

Dd got 10 gcses which is a huge achievement for her...including an a and a* ..
She worked so hard despite huge anxieties , and we gave her £100.

When I got my O levels in 1976 I got money on a sliding scale, with a fiver for an A.

Isthiscorrect Sun 25-Aug-13 19:58:56

We bought DS a giant Millies cookie and I got him a spaceform,its a piece of engraved glass ornament thing, probably not approved of on here ;-) thats says I'm so proud of you. This year it was for his AS levels, last year he worked so hard for his exams, I bought one that said A little piece of encouragement. No money.

Fairyliz Sun 25-Aug-13 20:40:35

I came on on to mumnet to ak the same question as most of my daughters friends have been getting arounf £100 - £500!
I told my daughter she could have £20 for each A* (not thinking she would get any) so as she has got one I gave her the £20 and we had a family meal.

We went out to Pizza Express to celebrate and when I asked DS what he'd like he asked for an Xbox game.

OldRoan Sun 25-Aug-13 20:47:38

The boyfriend I had when I was GCSE age got £150 for an A*, £100 for an A, and £50 for a B. I mentioned this to my parents (not expecting anything in return, just in a don't ask don't get way) and their response was a) we didn't do it for your sister so it isn't fair, b) no we won't give it to your sister retrospectively, c) it isn't happening.

No justification, no financial excuses. Just a straight "no". Looking back, I'm horrified at how much ex-boyfriend got. He wanted to go to Oxbridge, so he was always going to work hard.

Dackyduddles Sun 25-Aug-13 20:53:35

The reward is the grade.

Seriously. It is.

She can f right off for £ unless a few quid for cinema (about £50 if two tickets & popcorn lol!)

OldRoan Sun 25-Aug-13 21:00:52

Also, if she is going to a sixth form college presumably she is doing a levels? You're making a rod for your own back for the next 2 years if she gets something for GCSE results. And what about if she goes to uni and does well in all her exams there?

muddymarvellousdarling Sun 25-Aug-13 21:16:15

It doesn't have to be expensive. Just a token gift.

We always get the DC something for doing well at school/6 form/uni.
I think it encourages them to do their best.

We got DS2 for his gcses 2400 x.box points and took him out to lunch.

When DD finished her SATS she had a clothing voucher and also took her for a meal.

A few years back we got DS1 a fountain pen.

Chopchopbusybusy Sun 25-Aug-13 21:32:19

We've never done cash rewards although both DDs have friends who have been given them. We always go out for lunch on results day and sometimes dinner too but that's not dependent on results. Dd2 picked her lunch destination before we knew the results. MIL send £100 but it's not dependent on results either.

cory Sun 25-Aug-13 22:31:52

I seem to remember that we had a chocolate sponge cake when I passed mine. Haven't actually done anything for dd, but then she is so busy with her drama programme that I've hardly seen her since the results came out: a dvd would probably be my limit. A special meal would be nice, but she comes in at 10 at night and collapses in a heap on the bed, so not really doable.

Milliways Sun 25-Aug-13 23:43:56

When my DD ( now 22) got her 11 A*'s we were skint. I got kidsweek tickets to see Wicked in London (£50 for 2 tickets), we drove in to Hounslow, caught a tube and had a cheap Neal beforehand. She was thrilled and whereas whole thing cost around £80 so not cheap, it was a real treat and she still talks about it smile ( some of her friends got paid per A grade and no way could we do that then).

KatyMac Mon 26-Aug-13 09:52:53

Cory - I get that too along with the 'don't you think she should get a job rather than dancing around all the time' from well meaning people.......

Purple2012 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:57:36

My SD did well. I filled a small box with a few novelty things, got a personalised chocolate thing saying well done from thorntons and put £50 in a card for her to spend on what she wanted.

musicposy Mon 26-Aug-13 10:00:44

We got a box of 12 krispy kreme doughnuts as a celebration as we'd never spend that sort of money on doughnuts usually! DD2 got to pick her 3 first. She was delighted. We'd done the same for DD1 and so she was really hoping for doughnuts!
But hundreds of pounds? I don't think so grin

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Mon 26-Aug-13 10:11:07

If you don't agree with giving money as a reward then don't do it. If you do agree, then do it. I do and really couldn't give a flying fig what others do, that's their business. My DCs do not feel entitled to anything but are extremely grateful.

MrsFrederickWentworth Mon 26-Aug-13 10:13:18

Ds did well in the ones he took early, one of which was a real struggle.

He asked whether he would get reward after he got them. ( not before). I had had a present for doing ok, so I offered him a choice of a couple of things including the monetary equivalent which is what he chose and we all went out for super brunch as well.

Some of his class will get stupid amounts of money or things, some won't get any. It's finding the right way for your child.

worley Mon 26-Aug-13 10:21:18

ds1 just took his early while in yr9, so still has two more years of exams to do.. it never occurred to me to get him a reward for doing well. (My friends or I never got rewards for doing well..) He did get an a star and I was so pleased at this point I brought him takeaway for tea from his fave place: But giving money?!
The reward is the personal satisfaction they should get I think.
Now I'm wondering what the others may have got when he goes back to school and give him ideas! sad

MadameJosephine Mon 26-Aug-13 10:31:40

DS is saving to buy a new computer so I promised him £20 towards it for every A* he got. His grandparents also gave him a congratulations card with £100 in it and his auntie baked a cake to celebrate.

£150 per A* shock I would've been bankrupted!

BackforGood Mon 26-Aug-13 10:43:08

So for those who do think it's a good thing to pay £x per A* or A, what do you do if you have one child who is academically able and one who isn't ?
Genuine question.

Excellent question, BackForGood.

OldRoan Mon 26-Aug-13 12:39:04

I think I would be tempted to give the money BEFORE results, as a reward for effort during the exam period. Then you could reward each child equally regardless of results. And it might end up cheaper if you have a whizz kid child getting wonderful results...

waikikamookau Mon 26-Aug-13 12:52:08

my dd has got excellent, slightly unexpected results grin
we went out to a theme park on the day, but planned to go regardless.
I will take her clothes shopping in the week but am also skint. and she is one of three so I don't think X amount per grade is on the cards here.

I was thinking of my friend who has twins, not taking GCSEs this year though, and that must be a minefield. As it is her older brother is probably slightly bruised and jealous as he didn't get A grades, <<lazy>>

waikikamookau Mon 26-Aug-13 12:53:34

I think my DM is tempted to give money per result though she hasn't done so far. <<probably too expensive grin wink >>

EvilTwins Mon 26-Aug-13 13:01:23

My next door neighbour when I was growing up was a year older than my sister and 2 years older than me. Her parents did the £10 for an A, £8 for a B etc thing, and I remember conversations with my parents about how ridiculous it was, and how getting the best results you were capable of was the best reward for hard work. Looking back, that was quite clever of my parents - my the time my sister took her GCSEs, we were both firmly of the opinion that money for results was TERRIBLE and so never expected it.

We went for a nice family meal for my sister's results, and were on holiday abroad for mine. I got to choose where to go for dinner that night, IIRC.

singaporeswing Mon 26-Aug-13 13:15:50

BackforGood, my older sister and younger brother offered £50 per A*, £20 per A and £10 per B.

She ended up with 8 B's. He got 3 B's, 2 C's and 4 D's.

I got 5 A*'s and 6 A's.

Guess who was the one who didn't get any money wink

I had a lovely meal out & really enjoyed it. Think that what you do for one child should be done for the rest.

littlemisswise Mon 26-Aug-13 13:21:28

I've bought DS2 a really nice fountain pen to start 6th form college with. He has wanted one for ages. He doesn't know yet.

lotsofdirections Mon 26-Aug-13 14:54:49

I got a silver locket I still treasure for my O'Levels.
DD1 and DD2 each got a silver bangle and DS got a necklace(surfer dude type).
As others have said the results are the reward all we gave was a commemoration!

Fountain pen is a v good idea. In fact, I might buy dd1 a new one for uni. Thank you. smile

MadameJosephine Mon 26-Aug-13 17:26:22

backforgood DS was predicted A*/A grades so I promised him £20 for every A* as an extra incentive but to be honest he's pretty self motivated and worked hard regardless of the money, it was just a bonus. If DD turns out not to be as academic as her brother I think I would probably go with rewarding her for reaching/exceeding whatever target grades she had been set Rather than focussing on the top grade

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Mon 26-Aug-13 17:31:28

As an incentive to get my older non academic DCs to apply themselves I promised a large amount per c grade , they didn't get any so I didn't pay up. Youngest DC is able and has said it's ok, I will not take your money. He will get the same amount per A.

Viking1 Mon 26-Aug-13 19:07:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

longingforsomesleep Mon 26-Aug-13 23:33:56

Backforgood - exactly what I was going to post - can be tricky when you have more than one child. (We normally just have a family meal if someone does well).

MIL sent DS1 £100 when he got his OK GCSE results two years ago. This summer DS2 has achieved an excellent set of GCSE results and I'm interested to see if she will do the same for him. However, DS1 has also just produced a miserable set of A level results. It will be rubbing salt into DS1's wounds if she sends something to DS2 and not him. But it's difficult to send anything to DS2 alone.

MrsFrederickWentworth Tue 27-Aug-13 09:09:27

Viking, sounds just right.

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