Leaving 15 yo DS home alone overnight??

(47 Posts)
Yonihadtoask Sun 28-Jul-13 13:40:52

Would you??

He is happy to be home alone. Has a mobile phone, and cam contact family who live nearby.

We will be just over an hour drive away.

DS is 15.5. Quite sensible. Can cook basic foods. Will lock the doors.

colditz Sun 28-Jul-13 13:41:58

That's a fantastic idea, I mean, I assume you WANT your house full of everyone under 25 in the neighbourhood, yes?

I think only you know whether your child would be ok being left and wouldn't have a FB houseparty.

I know that DS1 (14) would be fine, but he wouldn't want to be left overnight.

JennyPiccolo Sun 28-Jul-13 13:44:32

I went to Uni at 16 and lived away from home, I'm sure he will cope for one night.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sun 28-Jul-13 13:44:44

No never.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sun 28-Jul-13 13:46:29

I think it's different if you 'go away to uni'.

Mine is only 13 but he would have friends in, it could get out of control, he isn't confident enough to stop a full blown house smash up party.

Also, I was 15 once.

Notsoblonde Sun 28-Jul-13 13:47:16

Shall I tell you about my bf at school, she was left home alone, had a huge party, lots of alcohol, lots of boys few people had sex, she was 15....

ChristineDaae Sun 28-Jul-13 13:47:17

I was left alone at 15. No wild house parties just a couple if friends over. Only you know of you trust your son

LineRunner Sun 28-Jul-13 13:52:55

My DS is 15 but I only very occasionally leave him when I know DD (17) is also home.

It would never occur to me they'd have friends round without checking. They wouldn't dare, tbh.

But a sensible nearly-16-year-old should be ok.

Reiltin Sun 28-Jul-13 13:58:13

What friends of mine did when their kids were younger was not tell them they'd be away overnight. They'd say they'd be back at say seven, then call to say it'd be more like ten, etc. eventually, they'd say they'd be back in the morning. No time for party planning!

mrscog Sun 28-Jul-13 14:04:25

I'm sure he'll be fine. My parents left me for a fortnight at that age and went to America!

orangeandemons Sun 28-Jul-13 14:07:33

If you want your house trashed, sure why not? I remember teenage parties when parents were away as huge huge fun. Including the one where the patio doors got smashed, bannister broken, stereo broken, and someone was sick in the chest freezer....and we were naice teenagers...

Left DS at about that age .
He was told he could have a couple of friends round he had 7
At about 3am they got bored of playing X box and decided to go outside .
As we live in a very quiet area with lots of old people with not enough to do , the police and fire brigade were called (! I know ! Mad )
They werent doing anything wrong at all . Just being outside .
It was all fine though

At that age they need to start to be independent .

cory Sun 28-Jul-13 14:56:09

Some teens are fine, some are not. I would trust mine.

Viking1 Sun 28-Jul-13 15:17:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I don't like the assumption that any 15 year old left alone would have a huge drug taking, alcohol fuelled houseparty complete with gatecrashers.

orangeandemons Sun 28-Jul-13 15:35:45

No, it's not always the one left alone. Often their friends tell people and then it snowballs.

Sorry, but as a secondary school teacher, I hear all about it in class. So and so's parents are away, etc etc. I hear all the planning and the excitement, so I personally wouldn't do it. Also my dh who is now 19 was very easy going and as soft a shite. He always said he wouldn't have a party, and maybe he wouldn't have, but someone else might have invited everyone. Even if they just have a few friends round it can get rowdy.

chocoluvva Sun 28-Jul-13 15:57:41

Hmmm. I only have to nip out to Tesco and I come back to a mess. But that's my DS not yours.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sun 28-Jul-13 16:02:25

I agree it depends on the child. I'm thinking back to when I was 14/15 and a family member was having a baby and I looked after her 2yr old alone for 2 night myself.

I was wild and one point though. hmm

cory Sun 28-Jul-13 16:14:04

Some children would not want to be left overnight, others (myself as a teen) have been happy (and absolutely trustworthy) to look after themselves in a hotel in a foreign city for a long weekend.

Some would tell their friends that their parents were away, some would carefully conceal the knowledge.

Dd can't drink herself (medication) and gets rather bored having to be a nursemaid to partying friends, so I can't imagine she'd want to transfer that to her own home. I didn't either at her age. So I had the sense never to tell when I was alone at home.

Yonihadtoask Sun 28-Jul-13 16:55:29

Thanks for the replies.

He isn't the type to have a party. He doesn't go on fb. Probably would be still Sat in his room plugged into laptop for 24 hours.

Will have chat later . My biggest worry is that he would be scared in the night.

I like the idea of keeping dc second guessing exactly when we will arrrivs home.

Apileofballyhoo Sun 28-Jul-13 17:06:58

My parents went away once when I was about 17 and people actually just arrived at the house assuming there was a party and wouldn't leave. It was horrible... I was also at plenty of parties where parents were away and houses got fairly trashed.

valiumredhead Sun 28-Jul-13 17:19:51

Yeah I would. I was baby sitting over night at 15. A friend's parents went away for 2 weeks and we house sat. We didn't have any parties.

Alertmind Sun 28-Jul-13 17:34:12

If you think he would be scared then you shouldn't leave him but best to sound him out. If you are only an hour away can't you just drive back late or are you drinking?

I think it would be dishonest to do the second-guessing thing and would probably make him more nervous if he thinks you are going to turn up and then you don't. If you want to stay out then be straight with him

Bowlersarm Sun 28-Jul-13 17:35:13

I wouldn't.

Depends on the 15 year old.

livinginwonderland Sun 28-Jul-13 19:27:11

I was home alone overnight from about thirteen. Had the neighbours number and they checked up on me. No problems.

Beamur Sun 28-Jul-13 19:30:31

Our DSS managed to be left alone occasionally with no damage done.
I don't think our DSD would have liked it. She is 18 now and still isn't keen to be in the house alone overnight. If her Mum is away (more likely than us going away) she usually comes and stays with us and just pops back to her Mums to feed the cats!

deleted203 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:34:50

I probably would. If he's happy with it, and he sounds sensible enough. I teach secondary, too - and not all teenagers immediately throw drunken parties with hundreds of gatecrashers!

He sounds reliable, you have family close by and you're only an hour away if there is an emergency.

cory Mon 29-Jul-13 10:52:35

What is happening on this thread of course is that every MNer swivels her chair around and looks narrowly at her own resident teenager(s), trying to size them up. Which is interesting enough in its own right but possibly not a great deal of help to you, OP. grin

chocoluvva Mon 29-Jul-13 11:20:43

Yup, In principle, I'd leave a 15.5YO home alone overnight if I had a good reason to, but in practice it depends completely on the individual and their circumstances. It's not illegal as far as I'm aware.

NoComet Mon 29-Jul-13 11:29:29

DD1(15) and a few of her friends (16) have blamed an empty house. They assure me they didn't get up to anything, not even a sneaky drink out the sideboard.

Actually they probably didn't, they really are the nicest most responsible bunch and the house wasn't in an easily accessible place for 'visitors'

NoComet Mon 29-Jul-13 11:29:54

Blagged

berrycake Tue 30-Jul-13 06:04:28

I was left alone at 15/16 for two weeks while the rest of my family went on holiday, and I didn't want to go for some reason.
I had friends over occasionally, but pretty much spent the entire time baking, reading and loving the fact that I could have whatever I wanted for dinner!
Honestly, only you know whether or not your child is to be trusted.

Tubemole1 Tue 30-Jul-13 07:03:10

When I was 15 I was home alone with my (2yrs younger) brother for a night bcos my dad had to take my mum to hospital. It was fine, micro meals in the fridge, TV, I was OK.

curlew Tue 30-Jul-13 07:07:39

I "I don't like the assumption that any 15 year old left alone would have a huge drug taking, alcohol fuelled houseparty complete with gatecrashers."

I don't either.

Thanks curlew. I also get hmm that any mixed sleepovers will definitely include sex. But I am being naive apparently.

crockydoodle Tue 30-Jul-13 08:47:52

I left my 15 year old last year for a week. But he's the kind who doesn't have friends over and stares at computers a lot. His grandparents also just live next door. One night would be fine as long as he's happy with it.

That's what you think crocky, he probably had a drug and booze filled orgy every night once his Grandparents were in bed it's just he didn't tell you.

Alertmind Tue 30-Jul-13 12:17:15

Agree with others here about the crazy assumption that teen alone = house trashing party. It's part of the general knee-jerk negativity towards teens that has always grated on me.

I also think it's ironic that people think it's ok for parents to basically lie to their teen about what time they will be home, as a way of not having to come back, when if the situation was reversed they would probably go ballistic!

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Jul-13 12:25:56

I was left at home overnight when I was that age. I don't remember anything about it, so it must have been uneventful. I was sensible, was used to being in the house alone and enjoyed my own company.

Yonihadtoask Tue 30-Jul-13 13:34:38

We are home, and all is well.

He has been fine. House is relatively tidy. He even remembered to put the dustbins out.

One night was enough for me, for now though.

Looking forawrd to weekends away in the near future!

Yay! Yoni your DS managed to not have a party/orgy. Result!

CoolStoryBro Tue 30-Jul-13 16:42:01

I left my 16 year old alone for the night last week. His friend lives here too so I told them no more than 4 extras in the evening but none of them could sleep over. I also asked my friend (who's a NYPD cop) to go and check on them.

They were sat playing PS3 eating Cheetos (Wotsits) RocknRoll.

CoolStoryBro Tue 30-Jul-13 16:45:11

Oh just saw you're back!

mumblechum1 Tue 30-Jul-13 23:13:19

I've been leaving DS since he was 15 without incident. Now he's 18 and will be home alone for three weeks when DH and I go on holiday on Sat.

Coolstorybro Love your name!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 30-Jul-13 23:18:41

I left mine at that age and he didn't have a wild, drug fuelled sex and alcohol party either. He did have a couple of mates round they did spend most of the night awake playing on the x-box and eating me out of house and pizza.

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