Should a 13 year old be allowed to wear a G string

(91 Posts)
Skatergirl45 Thu 25-Apr-13 20:39:37

My daughter who is 13 very soon, who looks 16, asked me if she could wear a G string. I was quite shocked and said categorically NO WAY. She then went on to tell me that other girls wear them and they take the mickey out of you if you can see panty lines in the school trousers the wear. This all took place in the middle of a shop when we were purchasing underwear. Her older 19 year old sister was not impressed and told her so and her reasons being, that she feels that its an article of clothing that sexualises young girls and feels that it could lead onto to bigger things. My 13 year old ended in up in tears and now feels that we think she's with the boys. Can someone tell me if this is a fashion thing and it is something that girls wear or should I be suspicious.

bevelino Thu 25-Apr-13 21:06:11

Hmmmm!

BlastAndDalmatians Thu 25-Apr-13 21:17:25

I wouldn't like it because they're unhygienic IMO. Shudders

As for sexualising young girls..well yes I suppose so. I don't see how purely wearing a g string could "lead on to bigger things", but they are certainly designed for titillation which would make me uncomfortable with a 13 year old wearing them.

BOF Thu 25-Apr-13 21:18:45

You can buy seam-free pants that don't show under clothes. I'd offer to get those as a compromise.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged Thu 25-Apr-13 21:19:38

No. They are a conveyor belt from the anis to the vagina.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged Thu 25-Apr-13 21:19:53

Anis? Bloody autocorrect! Anus.

AnyFucker Thu 25-Apr-13 21:20:08

what does "she thinks we are with the boys" mean ?

mrspaddy Thu 25-Apr-13 21:23:33

I wouldn't allow it.. very young for that. Sloggi do nice seam free pants.. I am sure they are available in Primark etc. Just say no.. the fact your 19 yr old is uncomfortable with the idea too says it all. I don't think it means she is engaging in sexual behaviour though..

okokokok Thu 25-Apr-13 21:25:45

I am 27 now and never wear one now yet when I was 13 pretty much every girl wore them and those who didn't were made fun of. Peer pressure? Yes. But it was more of a fashion thing than anything else.
The boys didn't know either way, it was when girls were getting changed for PE that it was talked about.

AnyFucker Thu 25-Apr-13 21:27:01

Asda do seam free lacy knicks

3 for 10 quid

okokokok Thu 25-Apr-13 21:27:47

Tbh seam free pants are the last thing a 13yr old would want to wear, maybe some boy shorts (although they would probably show under clothes so not much good!)

Smartiepants79 Thu 25-Apr-13 21:28:41

No. Just that really.

BlastAndDalmatians Thu 25-Apr-13 21:28:52

AnyFucker I think Op's daughter is worried her mum and sister think she is being promiscuous, or sleeping with boys.

I think.

okokokok Thu 25-Apr-13 21:28:57

Sorry I was imagining seam free mumsy style ones, sure some styles are nice

I wore them when I was in year 8/9 at school. I wouldn't wear them now. I don't see the problem really, it's only underwear.

AnyFucker Thu 25-Apr-13 21:32:58

confused

Another one who wore them loads at that age and wouldn't wear them now.

I don't see the problem with them either. Mines were from Tammy Girl! shock

LynetteScavo Thu 25-Apr-13 21:44:09

They are not exactly comfy, and who is going to see them? I don't think there is anything "suspicious" going on, but I think there is a lot of VPL teasing going on in school.

livinginwonderland Thu 25-Apr-13 21:58:20

I wore thongs at that age because it was the "cool" thing to do. I grew out of it. I don't see the big deal, tbh.

margaritathatcher Thu 25-Apr-13 22:17:27

13? FFS!

No, I wouldn't let my daughter wear a g string at that age.

Fallenangle Thu 25-Apr-13 22:24:38

They aren't the fashion in this neck of the woods anymore - very 00s. My 14 year old wears boy shorts. However, she is the sort of character that you wouldn t even consider teasing

ifancyashandy Thu 25-Apr-13 22:28:26

God, I bloody love thongs. Wear them everyday, unless wearing a short skirt. No hungry bum, comfy, no lines. I detest pretty much all other knickers. Brazilian ones are ok.

She's 13. Presumably no one is going to see them, other than when she changes at gym? I hated VPL at that age so bought them with my pocket money when my mum said no... She gave in!

Smudging Thu 25-Apr-13 22:32:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smudging Thu 25-Apr-13 22:33:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifancyashandy Thu 25-Apr-13 22:39:21

There's thus stuff called loo roll. You clean yourself with it, it's great!

I manage to not get poo anywhere but down the loo and on the paper.

ClaraOswald Thu 25-Apr-13 22:47:40

The poo may be gone, but that's not to say all the bacteria has.

Added to which the rubbing can cause infections and chafing and irritated skin.

Just on health grounds I would refuse them.

ifancyashandy Thu 25-Apr-13 22:54:04

I clean properly, same as those who wear full knickers.

Never had chaffing or any infection. Not even thrush.

Fallenangle Thu 25-Apr-13 23:01:36

I cant see how strings are any different from other knickers with regard to bacteria transmission from back to fron,t unless your experience is that they move back and forth more.

ripsishere Fri 26-Apr-13 02:48:24

If my DD asked I'd probably get her a pair. It's unlikely to arise, she only wears up to the waist pants with legs on.
They look bloody uncomfortable to me, but I am old.

nooka Fri 26-Apr-13 03:03:46

My dd is the same sort of age and I'd just say no. I associate thongs with sex personally, mainly because they are so incredibly uncomfortable I'd not wear them for longer than I had to! Luckily dd likes very sensible sorts of knickers from the childrens range still (in fact underwear are the only clothes she wears from the children's range now). Apparently there are girls who were g-strings in her class, but dd thinks they are gross and those girls aren't people she admires.

It's a pity that your elder dd came on so strong.

AmandaCooper Fri 26-Apr-13 11:18:14

I wear them but only under work wear or under posh frocks to give me a clean line to look tidy - the exact same reason your dd has given. I always change into something more comfortable as soon as I get home. Absent clothes I think pretty much anything is more flattering than a g string and if it really is just about VPL plain cotton ones should do the job.

Shagmundfreud Fri 26-Apr-13 11:38:51

I would allow my dd to wear what the heck she wants underneath her clothes, as long as she's willing to put up with the discomfort of having a cheese wire between her buttocks, and doesn't actually want to show the bloody thing off to boys.

grin

Startail Fri 26-Apr-13 13:00:00

No, I wouldn't like my DD to wear a G-string or shave to the extent necessary to be seen in one by her peers changing for PE.

However, as long as schools insist on uniform on one hand, but don't deal with the teasing it causes I'd butt out.

If our school let the girls wear short skirts, they wouldn't have all swaped to stupidly tight trousers instead. If they just let them all wear jeans and hoddies, Non of the rubbish over VPL, being teachers pet for not rolling up your skirt etc would exist.

specialsubject Fri 26-Apr-13 15:04:36

no. They are an uncomfortable health hazard. Fashion shouldn't hurt. She can get boy short type ones or high legs which don't show under shorts, although if the school shorts are so tight that what they had for lunch is visible I would question the uniform policy.

teach your daughter to stand up for herself, that being a sheep-like follower is stupid, and if there is bullying over what knickers people wear that a) the other kids are thick as hell and b) the school needs to do something.

FreckledLeopard Fri 26-Apr-13 15:08:52

I always wear thongs - no VPL, look nice - have never had a problem with them.

If DD (12) wanted to wear them, it wouldn't be something that would bother me. I don't believe that underwear choices have an inextricable link with sexual behaviour (though perhaps crotchless panties might be taking things a little too far)...

Ooopsadaisy Fri 26-Apr-13 15:18:49

I wear thongs most days and dd (14) tells me they are really Mumsy (therefore not at all trendy).

They are extremely comfortable. I have never noticed that anyone has got the idea I want sex because I'm wearing it (how the hell would they know, anyway?) I wash and use loo roll just like someone wearing full-bum knickers.

DD can have them if she wants but she'd rather die than dress like her Mum.

She wears boy shorts.

ParmaViolette Fri 26-Apr-13 15:23:23

Slightly amused that a lot of people see g-strings as just underwear. I suppose they are, but the connotations just scream sex and 'look at my ass cheeks and vulva!'

I wanted to wear them at that age, because I thought it was sexy. And now g-strings and thongs look really sexy and are also practical with tight fitting clothes- but when I think of myself clambouring for a pair and admiring myself in my mum's- I feel a bit ill. All seems a bit wrong to me.

If she wants pretty knickers as opposed to multipacks and ones with cats on- you can get pretty lacy seam free ones in M&S.

sweetiepie1979 Fri 26-Apr-13 15:23:46

I think g strings are horrible I've only wore them for seamless purposes. Sounds like the 18 year old ws a bit harsh with her and you might need to take her aside and have a gentle chat with tea and cake. Sure the 13 year old is mortified and yes I can imagine she would get a hard time for seeing pant line files can be so difficult. Tell her what they are associated with and she might have a better understanding. Sloggi pants are taking it a bit too far though no need to buy a granny pant instead just because it's seamless! You can get some nice seamless one in h and m I think, and john Lewis.

luxemburgerli Fri 26-Apr-13 19:04:40

If she's generally a good teenager then I would let her tbh. What does it really matter what's under her clothes? Assuming she has a long enough school skirt! Save the battle for something that really matters.

englishrosie Fri 26-Apr-13 21:22:29

How on earth do thongs equal sex? That's the dumbest thing I have actually ever heard. I wear nothing but G strings, not for sexual purposes, not because I think people want to see my ass, but because I DESPISE VPL! I hate seeing women with VPL, there is just no excuse for it haha. And if I'm honest even "no VPL panties" still give you vpl.

you can't decide what your daughter decides to cover her private parts with

and as for people saying poo up your fanny, how about wipe your bot!

rainbowslollipops Sat 27-Apr-13 07:47:54

what's wrong with those nice shorts or French ones? I hate thongs and g strings. it's just that. a string. She will get over it once she realises how uncomfortable they are.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Sat 27-Apr-13 07:53:48

A 13yo? Um, nope. I wouldn't buy them for my 15yo. Who the hell cares about a vpl in their school uniform?!

My DD prefers apple catchers the 'shortie' knickers, as she says they are more comfortable and don't give her a 'wedgie'.

She over shares quite frequently...grin

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Sat 27-Apr-13 08:00:08

DD's views on thongs : "they look uncomfortable. Like the world's worst wedgie. Were they designed by someone who has no idea of ladies' bits?!"

Fairylea Sat 27-Apr-13 08:04:34

Hmm it's difficult because kids can be cruel and if all her friends are wearing them and teasing those who don't that's pretty miserable if she's the odd one out. I know it's not good to be a sheep but fitting in at 13 is very important. I was bullied so badly aged 13 for all kinds of things and ended up changing schools because of it. Kids can really be horrid.

Saying that I'd show her some of the newer no vpl styles and explain the hygiene issue and see what she says... in hope!

JenaiMorris Mon 29-Apr-13 10:55:49

I'll cut her some slack for being 19, but "feels that it could lead onto to bigger things"? Really?

I'm not surprised the OP's daughter was upset - what a horrible insinuation!

I thought G-strings were out of fashion these days, anyway.

<shrugs>

PearlyWhites Mon 29-Apr-13 11:01:00

I would let my 14 year old dd yes under those circumstances because girls can be cruel and bitchy and vpl could be social suicide to teenage girls.

dementedma Sun 05-May-13 19:55:26

Boy shorts much sexier imo

Branleuse Sun 05-May-13 20:02:46

yes id let her. Plain cotton ones maybe

It was all about the tanga briefs when i was at school

Pantone363 Sun 05-May-13 20:08:40

Yes I'd let her.

Plain black/white. It doesn't have to be Ann summers.

Bunbaker Sun 05-May-13 20:09:42

The 13 year olds at DD's school don't wear them

My friends and i discovered them age 13/14 - i know for us lot they stoppef the panty lines under trousers, made us feel a bit more grown up and in control of yourself and your decisions that not much ate age 13 other thsn clothes/hairstyles can do.

Now i'm s mum of coarse i'd cringe if dd wanted them but it's par for the course, kids grow up sadly

Ffs typos galore!

deleted203 Sun 05-May-13 20:25:27

Try seam free pants. G strings increase the chances of thrush for a start.

CognitiveOverload Sun 05-May-13 20:27:42

Wearing a thong is not going to drastically increase anything untoward happening to your daughter. Yes its probably peer pressure. Shes a teenager...peer ppressure is part of growing up. Offer her an alternative by all means. Might be more comfortable for her too. Thongs take a bit of getting used to.

Haleyuk Tue 13-Aug-13 09:40:57

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Haleyuk Tue 13-Aug-13 10:42:39

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jungletoes Tue 13-Aug-13 10:51:22

Thongs = sexualisation is ridiculous, any style of pants can be "sexy" if it's leopard print or see-through. Plain thongs are just practical pants that eliminate vpl. My God, do all girls under 18 have to wear old-style bucket pants now? Tell you what, get them wearing slips under skirts in case a boy sees the outline of their legs. Nonsense.

katydid02 Tue 13-Aug-13 16:27:35

No, no way at all.

runningonwillpower Tue 13-Aug-13 16:33:42

I understand about visible panty lines.

But I've seen girls and women with visible thong lines and that isn't any better. In fact, it's worse if accompanied by wobbly unrestrained bottom cheek lines.

Having said that, I'd probably let her have them.

Travelledtheworld Wed 14-Aug-13 14:57:02

Surely a G string isn't practical for PE at school ?
There are a huge range of nice knickers available at a range of prices from supermarket to Jack Wills. Go shopping with her again and let her chose something suitable for her age and lifestyle.

GibberTheMonkey Wed 14-Aug-13 15:17:42

I've seen more visible thongs than I ever have normal vpl

They're really uncomfortable too. I save cheese wire for cheese.

This thread is another to remind the to help dd learn to be an individual not a sheep.

GibberTheMonkey Wed 14-Aug-13 15:18:10

I've seen more visible thongs than I ever have normal vpl

They're really uncomfortable too. I save cheese wire for cheese.

This thread is another to remind the to help dd learn to be an individual not a sheep.

curlew Wed 14-Aug-13 15:26:43

I certainly wouldn't find them comfortable for doing anything active or sporty. Is that just me?

Oh and whoever said "you can't decide what your daughter decides to cover her private parts with"-- just watch me!!!

dexter73 Wed 14-Aug-13 17:23:17

My dd started wearing plain black thongs to school at about 14 because of the vpl. I didn't realise they were such a big deal, I just thought they were another style of pants.

Mumof3wifeof1 Wed 14-Aug-13 18:35:29

I recommend big white cotton comfy pants ANY DAY , the ones that come above the bit of a belly over hang and muffin tops , and no, I dont care and no, neither does my husband care . I personally find thongs are like a cheese wire. The only way I would wear a thong is if I could wear my white comfy pants underneath.

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 14-Aug-13 18:38:47

Travelled - can you tell me why they sent suitable for PE at school?

It's just I was thinking if getting some for dd for under her leotard.

Mumof3wifeof1 Wed 14-Aug-13 18:40:45

But I'm more than twice the Age of your daughter so she won't like my big white comfy pants idea.

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 07:10:42

Boy shorts all the way here.
Not meaning to sound smug, but I can't imagine the sort of world where teen girls are so insecure about themselves that they worry what their friends think of their choice of knickers or spend time noticing and remarking on what each other's bums look like under their clothes. Who are these shallow people your children are friends with?

And yes I do have teenage daughters, and one now in her twenties.

curlew Thu 15-Aug-13 07:21:01

Not meaning to sound smug, but I can't imagine the sort of world where teen girls are so insecure about themselves that they worry what their friends think of their choice of knickers or spend time noticing and remarking on what each other's bums look like under their clothes. Who are these shallow people your children are friends with?

Well, you may not be meaning to sound smug.................

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 07:42:40

No, I'm not meaning to. I realise how smug it sounds or I wouldn't have said that. But I can't imagine it all the same.

If a child of mine was so upset by the thought of someone commenting on the appearance of her bum that she was thinking of buying the knicker equivalent of stiletto heels I would be thinking she needed a new set of friends, a hobby, more time spent at home and less out parading around with her so called friends. My teens spend a lot of time doing sports, doing homework, babysitting, doing chores at home and studying for tests so a world where they would feel any angst about VPL and the opinion of their friends thereof is a long way removed from theirs.

curlew Thu 15-Aug-13 07:56:26

I don't think that helped, to be honest!

curlew Thu 15-Aug-13 08:00:05

You now sound both smug and judgemental!

dexter73 Thu 15-Aug-13 08:56:35

So you cannot imagine a world in which teenage girls worry about their choice of knickers and are shallow to comment on it but you yourself are doing that exact thing? Does that make you shallow to make judgements on people based on their choice of underwear?

Flicktheswitch Thu 15-Aug-13 13:33:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flicktheswitch Thu 15-Aug-13 13:37:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curlew Thu 15-Aug-13 13:41:11

Does anyone wear one for sport? I know I couldn't be properly involved in any very physical activities wearing one. Or is that just me? I am just wary of anything which gets in the way of girls and sport......

Flicktheswitch Thu 15-Aug-13 13:47:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangeandemons Thu 15-Aug-13 13:52:54

I don't think the 13 year olds I teach wear them. Not that I look, but sometimes you see bits of underwear poking over the top of their trousers. They are definitely not thongs, more like m and s sensible knicks

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 17:12:56

I'm not commenting on anyone'e underwear from the pov of how it looks through clothing or saying that is the only thing anyone needs to take into consideration when buying underwear. Ime it is horribly uncomfortable, like a permanent wedgie. For me, boy shorts provide everything I want in a pair of knickers. I appreciate others have their own considerations when choosing unmentionables.

I am commenting on the sort of peer pressure that leads a girl of 13 to worry she is the only one not wearing something that was not important to her at age 12, and the kind of insecurity that makes that pressure significant to her. I am not judging her, and not saying it leads to anything other than freezing buttcheeks in winter and perhaps some chafing in the nether regions, just sad that she doesn't seem secure enough to wear something not necessarily fashionable that was perfectly fine for her last year, maybe a size bigger.

DD2 (18) who has a few g-strings but mostly assorted other styles, depending on whatever was cheap when she went out shopping for underwear (which is all she has ever taken into account when buying underwear), wears other styles for sport. Her sport uniform involves a navy volleyball style knickers under a skirt, very similar to boy shorts. DD2 plays the same sport but she is not a fan of g-strings. DD4 (12) couldn't care less what she wears.

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 17:13:27

DD2 plays the same sport = DD3

curlew Thu 15-Aug-13 17:17:49

"DD2 (18) who has a few g-strings but mostly assorted other styles, depending on whatever was cheap when she went out shopping for underwear (which is all she has ever taken into account when buying underwear)"

Oh, come on. I utterly refuse to believe that an 18 year old has never considered colour, prettiness, appearance, fit or anything but cost when buying pants! "Oh, look, the g strings are the cheapest, I'll buy those." hmm

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 22:42:19

DD2 buys all her own underwear and most of her own clothes, and has done so since she first started making money from babysitting at around age 13. She learned the hard way (buying full price jeans that she grew out of in weeks during a growth spurt) to only buy what is on sale. The stuff she buys looks nice as far as she is concerned, but it is always sale priced, and varies in style. It is always price that she considers first. We are very frugal here out of necessity.

mathanxiety Thu 15-Aug-13 22:43:42

A lot of her clothes come from second hand shops. She saves her money for items like her own iPod and laptop and a replacement laptop when she fried the first one.

Auty Fri 16-Aug-13 17:19:07

My 13 year old has never asked but when we go undie shopping i often see her gazing over at the more revealing knickers. I'm certainly not going to buy her them unless she asks and her reasons for wearing them seem decent. I remember being 13 and i wasn't good with the peer pressure and gave in to most things and would hate to see my girl parading her undies off to some boy.

ChristineDaae Fri 16-Aug-13 17:27:39

I wore them at 13 and still do. I can't bear full nickers. It's just underwear, not really a sexual issue unless she's walking round showing everyone.

Boosterseat Sun 18-Aug-13 19:27:42

I had plain thongs at 13 for VPN , just plain old 5 pack from asda.

I remember my parents going mental when I wore a turquoise bra for school, it wasn't for the boys I just like (and still do) pretty underwear.

I think by making a big deal about the issue you might end up making her rebel about it and she will end up buying her own tarty stuff and showing it off for a reaction.

Buy her some functional ones as a compromise and remind her to keep herself extra clean as yeast infections are shite.

cathyandclaire Mon 19-Aug-13 09:23:38

Dds have had nude thongs ( bought to go under dance costumes for no VPL) since 11 or so. Also have boy shorts/ jack wills knickers and big ole comfy pants. They wear them all according to what they're wearing, boy shorts under short dresses so no flashing, thong under clingy stuff etc. I think it's practical not sexualised.

OctopusPete8 Mon 19-Aug-13 14:17:06

I did,

I stopped wearing them cuz' they get nasty in hot weather not v. hygenic its like a conveyor belt for infection.

rubyrubyruby Mon 19-Aug-13 14:22:20

Mine wears 'big knickers'

CooEeeEldridge Mon 19-Aug-13 14:33:26

No idea what's 'in' these days but always wear thongs, most comfortable and discreet underwear in my opinion. Never get thrush, never get infections. Go horse riding daily, run 4 times a week and do gym classes most days, don't even notice my underwear. French knickers / boy shorts I think are ridiculous to do anything in, and also that they give terrible vpl. Normal pants end up turning pretty much into thiongs if I do anything active anyway (tmi?!). I do have a big bum compared to the rest of me and wonder if that doesn't help with comfort of 'normal' pants?

bellabom Tue 20-Aug-13 19:10:15

I was horrified when 14 year old step daughter had thongs at 12 but realistically it is mainly for the hidden element of the line of then rather than anything more sinister. There's a big difference between a sexy little red lace G String and a nude thong shaped pair of knickers.

I'd be more concerned about those boy shorts that say things like "TASTY" across the back or "KISS ME" on the fanny bit. In fact, any slogan on their pants... why?! Who's going to read it confused

I guess what I'm saying is that sexualised underwear, no. Practical underwear, yes.

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