Yay! I've survived his childhood!

(31 Posts)
flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 07:57:50

My DS1 is 18 today. And I've lived to tell the tale! Parts of the past couple of years have been pretty grim, but he does actually seem to be growing up. smile And from now on, if he messes up, it's not my fault! Oh, I know that's over-simplifying things, but you know what I mean... grin I feel a real sense of relief!

Anyone else had powerful emotions like this as their kids reach their 18th birthdays?

TheNebulousBoojum Mon 15-Apr-13 08:24:18

I used to regard every birthday he made as a personal triumph!
I had similar feelings, not when he reached 18, but when he got to the end of compulsory schooling. Sheer joy at the juggling gelignite becoming optional.
So enjoy, I suspect there's a lot of us that know how you feel. grin

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 08:29:04

Thanks, Nebulous! I had a brief taste of relief when he reached the end of compulsory ed too; but then he messed around in his first year in college and nearly dropped out, then nearly got kicked out, so relief was replaced by panic! I hope it lasts a bit longer this time... grin

MoominsYonisAreScary Mon 15-Apr-13 10:04:30

Yes! Ds1 was 18 in feb, we had a few awful years from 13-15 and this last 2 years have been stressful with him messing around his first year of college then the government stopping funding for the 2nd year just has he was due to start cue 8 months of him sat around the house and me nagging.

Anyway he started work a couple of months ago, an apprenticeship in electrical and mechanical engineering and is also working in a pub at night. It's such a relief.

His youngest brother was born the week before he turned 18 though so I have lots more years to go grin

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 10:30:03

Congratulations to you too then, Moomins! grin
Though I can't quite imagine doing another 18 years! I just have 5 to go, and then I'm freeeeeeeeeeee! grin

TheNebulousBoojum Mon 15-Apr-13 11:14:28

Dream on flow, mine are now 18 and 22. grin
Still not completely Freeeeee! They need jobs and to move out before I can really become the decadent bohemian I was meant to be.

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 15:03:28

grin Ahhh, you're going to be a decadent Bohemian too, are you Nebulous?!

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 15:05:03

Surely we can just abandon them soon now?!

HighNoon Mon 15-Apr-13 18:20:25

Congratulations Flow - you deserve your freedom! I hope I feel the same in the next few years - just trying to get through next 8 weeks (GSCEs). I've taken so much hope and inspiration from your (and Maryz's) bang on advice about how to get through these difficult times. Here's to you! thanks wine

TheNebulousBoojum Mon 15-Apr-13 18:44:36

'Surely we can just abandon them soon'

He finds his way home every time. He's even got a railcard. And a compass.

DD will be heading back when she's finished her degree, looking at the current job situation. sad

chocoluvva Mon 15-Apr-13 21:38:37

Aww grin and smile at this thread!

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 22:11:30

Thanks HighNoon and choco smile

Neb, I bumped into a woman I haven't seen for a year or so the other day...
"How are you?" I asked.
"Oh great!" she grinned...
"And how are your girls?"
"Oh I left them!" she said, "I'd had enough! They're living with their dad and I've moved in with my boyfriend! It's time for me now!"
Her daughters are 17 and 20...
envy

chocoluvva Mon 15-Apr-13 22:21:43

flow4 you don't mean that! You'll miss the complaints about your tofu stir-fries wink

TheNebulousBoojum Mon 15-Apr-13 22:23:30

Years ago, in the middle of the night, my friend's house caught fire.
She leapt out of bed, grabbed a son in each arm and barreled through the house like a prop forward on speed.
Standing in the garden in 6" of snow, watching the flames, her sons looked down at her and said 'Mum, WTF happened?'
Yup, she'd dragged her babies clear of disaster. They were 20 and 21 and built like the proverbial outhouses.
Always our babies really!

chocoluvva Mon 15-Apr-13 22:25:21

That's amazing.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 15-Apr-13 22:30:22

Congrats OP! grin Nebulous that reminds me of my Mum who at 5 foot nothing, hurdled her way out of our kitchen via the open window...which reached her chest almost...to get to the garage where my 20 year old brother was trapped. He had two arms in casts and smoke was billowing out of the closed door....she just LEAPED at close range...like a powerful athlete while I stood open mouthed. SO funny to see in retrospect.

flow4 Mon 15-Apr-13 22:47:07

Amazing story Neb, and Neo!
choco, I haven't tried to feed him tofu for about 8 years! But now I come to think of it... wink grin

MuchBrighterNow Tue 16-Apr-13 06:37:24

Congrats Flow on nurturing your Ds into adulthood !
Maybe tofu stirfrys are the secret to driving encouraging them out of the nest.

flow4 Tue 16-Apr-13 08:15:47

Thanks Brighter!
> wanders off whistling to find tofu <

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 09:29:48

well done for getting him there I have 1 adult yeah right and a 15 yr old the adult is 20 and still needs that guidance bt at least I got to 18 without anything major happening now only 1 to go grin

DeafLeopard Tue 16-Apr-13 09:34:39

Congratulations flow and happy birthday newly-adult-baby-flow

flow4 Tue 16-Apr-13 12:38:50

Thanks mrsjay and DeafL smile
I know I don't get to resign just yet... But I have found the last few years rather stressful, because the world saw me as responsible for him, and although I've still had some influence, I haven't actually had any control! hmm

mindfulmum Tue 16-Apr-13 17:31:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Tue 16-Apr-13 17:50:59

I have only just seen this thread flow grin

I sympathise - I remember crying the day of ds's 16th birthday, because I never thought he would get to 16 without killing himself or someone else. And his 18th was another "wow" moment.

Having said that, I doubt he will ever move out. I'm eyeing up the property pages hoping to find a very, very cheap derelict 1-bedded cottage somewhere in rural Ireland (I can afford about a thousand euro, so I need the property crash to continue grin) so that in a couple of years I can move out and just leave the three of them to fight it out (with or without dh, depending if he wants to come).

I think that'll be easier than trying to get them all to move on.

Goblinchild Tue 16-Apr-13 17:56:36

Camper van, that's the answer Maryz.
Join me when I run away and we could start our own travelling commune/convoy.
They'd never find us, we could just text occasionally from a disposable phone .

Maryz Tue 16-Apr-13 18:52:01

Yes, I'm going to travel around the world, visiting mumsnetters and laughing dispensing wisdom as all their lovely toddlers turn into teenagers.

We can all go together, those of us who survive grin

I'm in grin

Maryz Tue 16-Apr-13 19:01:01

Do you know, we could have a lot of fun!

Here in Ireland pensioners have free travel. Do you get that in the UK? I can imagine free trains and mn sofas all over the UK would be a fantastic way to escape the kids spend my retirement.

gardeningmama Tue 16-Apr-13 19:56:24

Just wanted to send you best wishes flow, because over time, I have come across loads of words of wisdom from you on various threads and I always respect what you have had to say, so I think congratulations and a load of wine and flowers are due to you! My ds is a sometimes tricky (nearly) 16 and my dd (nearly) 12 so I've got a little way to go myself.

flow4 Tue 16-Apr-13 19:58:15

Funny! I dream of a camper van and an itinerant life, too... smile A reaction to all those years feeling stuck, I guess...

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 20:14:02

a woman I worked beside bought herself a little 1 bed flat to stop her 30yr old son moving back home every time he fell out with his partner take note ladies get cracking on the house hunt grin

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