What do you do with a DS who is too lazy to fix himself some lunch?!

(119 Posts)
Horsemad Thu 03-Jan-13 21:25:44

Typical 15yr old, obsessed with computer games. Gets up and immediately goes on pc (during weekends and holidays - has tried this on school mornings and had short shrift).

When I'm working I leave before he's up, it's obvious to me that he's not had breakfast or lunch when I get home. He says he's not hungry, but I suspect he eats his selection box chocolate whilst at the pc.

I don't mind him being on the pc, he's out of trouble and I know where he is etc, but I'm getting fed up with him not eating!

izzyhasanewchangeling Thu 03-Jan-13 21:26:44

Let him starve, I have one - it bugs the hell out of me that he wont even make a sandwich or a piece of toast.

orangeandlemons Thu 03-Jan-13 21:29:23

I had one of these. I'm afraid in the end I left him to it. It really really pissed me off that he was so lazy. He would always eat if I cooked it, but left to himself he didn't bother. So he ended up not bothering. He's 19 and at uni now, so obviously it didn't affect him too much.

onyx72 Thu 03-Jan-13 21:33:29

let him starve.

Hide the selection box chocs too! <mean mum>

StressedoutMotherofTeens Thu 03-Jan-13 21:42:06

I agree. Let him starve. If he is anything like my DS once he's realised he's hungry he will get up and make himself something. My DS 14 usually manages beans on toast and if not does it matter? They know they will eat later during the day probably made by you!

Horsemad Thu 03-Jan-13 21:47:21

orange that's it exactly! He will eat if I cook it for him, but if I don't then he just doesn't bother!

How the hell can they be THAT lazy?? shock

HappyAsASandboy Thu 03-Jan-13 21:49:12

Ha ha! Get him a girlfriend grin

When I was 17, I went to see my boyfriend. Arrived at about 2.30pm or so, so well past lunch time. His mum came home at about 4.30pm and he went a bit loopy at her about how late she was for making his lunch! I stood ther like this shock

I have never let him forget it. Seventeen and waiting for your mum to come home and make your lunch shock grin

izzyhasanewchangeling Thu 03-Jan-13 21:50:20

It pisses me right off tbh, a lumping 6 footer who will go without so much as a piece of toast!

DeafLeopard Thu 03-Jan-13 21:50:59

Fruit bowl in his room? At least then he can grab something if he is hungry......you will however find apple cores and banana peel on the floor next to the xbox.

Horsemad Thu 03-Jan-13 22:03:27

Fruit? shock FRUIT?? shock

Not a hope in hell he'd eat fruit grin

God, they do my head in!

ouryve Thu 03-Jan-13 22:04:32

Unless you're making lunch for everyone, let him starve.

seeker Thu 03-Jan-13 22:07:19

His problem.

And I wouldn't be letting him spend all day non the computer either. But I a hard line.

seeker Thu 03-Jan-13 22:07:49

I also can't type.

Horsemad Thu 03-Jan-13 22:30:23

Yep, when I'm here, he's turfed off it. I work p/t, so don't mind him being on it then as it's only a few hours x3 days

webwiz Thu 03-Jan-13 22:49:51

I'm afraid there is someone in my family who will do this - yes DH I mean you hmm.

I absolutely refuse to make food for him if I have been out somewhere at a mealtime and he has been to lazy to make something for himself. I'm sure his mum would have immediately made him a sandwich as soon as she got in so the poor lazy sod mite didn't starve.

Ragwort Thu 03-Jan-13 22:53:49

Agree with Seeker (not for the first time grin), I would let him starve but not rush to cook him a meal when I returned. He should be making an effort to cook you something if you are out all day ...... he may well turn into the sort of useless husband that you hear about on the relationship threads.

ihearsounds Thu 03-Jan-13 23:06:13

I let them starve. Think a lot of teens go through similar regardless of gender. I come home, notice they haven't eaten. I remind them when I am not in, no-one is magically going to appear. Even when I am in no-one will magically appear and make them lunch.

I continue doing what I am doing and at some point I will eventually make dinner. That is, if it is my turn to make dinner. I am mean and I get them making dinner as well, so I know they are more than capable of making a simple lunch.

dearcathyandclare Thu 03-Jan-13 23:14:47

I buy my lot a few jars of pasta sauce and they know how to boil a pan of water and cook some pasta.Up to them if they get round to doing it though.
I also bung a few frozen french bread pizzas in the trolley so they can do those. To be honest leave him sort his food out as he will eat if hungry.

FortyFacedFuckers Thu 03-Jan-13 23:46:38

My DP still does this at the grand old age of 37 shock so please just leave him to starve and hopefully he will learn. grin

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Thu 03-Jan-13 23:51:32

I don't understand why you think you need to 'do' anything?!

He'll eat if he's hungry or he'll wait until something is cooked for him later <shrug>

MrsTomHardy Fri 04-Jan-13 00:26:08

I'm glad I'm not the only one with one of these grin

flow4 Fri 04-Jan-13 01:56:38

11p packets of noodles. Cheap pizzas. Sliced bread and sliced ham. About a box of cereal/2 pints milk per day. And (yes! shock ) fruit - but only apples and bananas.

He can usually get it together to feed himself all some of that while I'm out. If he can't be bothered, that's his problem. grin

flow4 Fri 04-Jan-13 02:01:01

Oh, actually, I do him a disservice: he will also fry bacon/sausages/eggs for a butty, and open/heat tins of beans.

He is 17.9 and 6'1" or 6'2" though, so I think if he didn't eat constantly all day long, he'd probably fade away and die before I got home from work. hmm grin

deleted203 Fri 04-Jan-13 02:01:47

Can't see what the problem is, myself. If he is too idle to get himself lunch then let him starve (his selection box will eventually run out). If he gets hungry enough he'll make himself something. I'm with Chipping.

seeker Fri 04-Jan-13 07:25:59

Nobody else think he should be sorting out dinner for the family if he's home and his mum's at work? No? Just me, then?

I agree Seeker, I used to make dinner at least once a week from the age of 11, when I lived with my parents.

rubyrubyruby Fri 04-Jan-13 07:42:58

Many are like this, although I have one who will cook himself something.
DS2 is the worst but is not driven by food. He will eat what's put in front of him but that's it really.
I'm the same though blush as I'm just not that fussed about food tbh.

The thing that winds me up is when they keep opening the fridge door and peering in, expecting something to leap out at them. grin

Horsemad Fri 04-Jan-13 18:05:52

Thanks all, I'm just going to leave him to it!
I am going to confiscate his choc stash though so he's not eating 'empty' calories.

He's capable of getting himself food but is just lazy, so it's his choice.

I taught my 17 year old to make a few basic meals. He does macaroni cheese for his lunch.
Every Single Day.

susanann Fri 04-Jan-13 18:59:34

Good call horsemad!

Horsemad Fri 04-Jan-13 19:29:18

I wonder how he'll survive if he goes to uni?!!

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 01:37:03

He'll learn because he'll have to! smile

tigerdriverII Sat 05-Jan-13 01:41:54

My MIL chucked DH out of the home and hearth when he was sweet 16. Forty years on this still causes problems However, at this age, young men should be able to cook for themselves

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 01:50:24

at 15 i would be expecting him to be making the family dinner whilst he's on holidays and you are at work! who does he think he is waiting to be fed?

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 01:51:21

oh i see seeker has already said this. glad i'm not alone in thinking this.

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 10:53:11

But the flaw in that cunning plan is that a boy who is too lazy/distracted even to feed himself is certainly too lazy/distracted to have tea on the table for his family when they get home! grin

I do sometimes get DS1 (17) to cook for us... But he does it reluctantly, and I have to supervise (by text from work if I'm not at home) and settle for things over- and under-cooked, because he simply isn't giving it enough attention. hmm He currently thinks of food as fuel to be shovelled in as fast as possible; while for me there is pleasure not just in the tastes of the food but also how it looks on the plate, so his barely-functional meals don't appeal much, and I tend to ask only when I am prepared to eat 'fuel' too... DS2 (12) is a more rewarding chef!

I assume this is a phase that will pass (like the not showering one, or the grunting one!) and meanwhile I 'model' the cooking of lovely balanced meals and expect him to do a greater share of the cleaning up! grin

seeker Sat 05-Jan-13 10:54:13

So disconnect the Internet. Sorted.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 10:57:33

This is the big problem with leaving teenaged boys on their own at home while you work. DSS1 and DSS2 much prefer being at our home to being at their mother's for this very reason - meals "happen" here (eg I make them) and, despite themselves, they don't get to spend all day on the computer.

rubyrubyruby Sat 05-Jan-13 11:03:51

I'm here in the day during the holidays but only dinner 'happens' - sometimes I will make lunch too, if every is here and wanting lunch at the same time but generally breakfast and lunch are on a get-it-yourself basis.

I point out to teenage DC the contents of the freezer and the wonder that is the microwave and leave them to it wink

usualsuspect Sat 05-Jan-13 11:22:29

I left my Ds to it, he usually eats cereal, noodles, pasta, bacon sandwiches. Its his fault if he's too lazy to cook something.

lljkk Sat 05-Jan-13 11:26:33

Mine don't know password to computer; they aren't allowed on PC until
A) breakfasted
B) brushed teeth
C) dressed appropriately to go out (sometimes I waive that)

I had to institute those rules when they were 7-8yo, amazed someone got to teen years before finding it a problem not to. DS has braces, too, and I am paranoid about his teeth so breakfast of biscuits would make me too unhappy to ignore.

MuchBrighterNow Sat 05-Jan-13 12:52:24

I am lucky in that Ds2 14 loves cooking and will cook lunch for himself, Ds1, dd and any add on mates who may be around.

DD 8 is perfectly capable of frying herself an egg, making herself up a salad...

Ds1 17 would be happy to live on bowls of cereal and toast eaten at random hours of day and night and could not be trusted to feed anyone. I used to worry as he is underweight but have decided to let it go and make sure instead that the only cereal on offer is muslei grin

BackforGood Sat 05-Jan-13 13:04:05

My ds (16) can't go more than about 2 hours without having another meal. I'm shock that your ds doesn't eat. I'm another who would be expecting tea prepared when I got home if I were out at work all day and someone were at home all day. All my dcs have to take a turn at cooking the evening meal each week.

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 13:06:47

Oh dear llikk, I would never be allowed on the PC in your house! grin

BertieBotts Sat 05-Jan-13 13:12:29

I still do this blush manage to feed DS but not myself!

exoticfruits Sat 05-Jan-13 13:29:56

It isn't your problem-just leave him to sort it out (or not sort it out).

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 14:42:30

bonsoir how old are your step-sons? if they are teenagers there is no problem with leaving them home alone. they are capable of beans on toast. my 3 year old can make himself sandwiches and with supervision use the toaster.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 14:43:35

They are 17 and 15. Yes, there is a big problem leaving them alone! They do F all!!!

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 14:49:44

surely that is their own and their mother's problem when they are with her? i'll bet they just love coming to you to be babied though.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 14:51:41

Were it so simple!

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 14:52:01

(they don't want to live with her anymore)

seeker Sat 05-Jan-13 14:53:41

Meals should never "just happen!"

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 14:59:54

so why do they? at 15 and 17 they are old enough to decide if they want to live with their father and superstepmother

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:02:03

Children do not decide where they live.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:03:45

Oh really seeker? How exactly does all your family participate in all the catering at every single meal in your home, pray tell?

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:11:29

at 15 and 17 they can decide.

my children participate in about 60% of the meals that are made when they are at home. they are 3 and 7. 7 year old can make quite a few simple meals without any help apart from reminders to check the oven. 3 year old, as i said, can make sandwiches and use the toaster.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:12:38

They certainly cannot - they are legally in zero position to do so and it would require lawyers/judges here in France.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:14:00

so? if they want to live with you get a lawyer, see a judge and get it sorted.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:16:00

Why on earth are you telling us what to do? Mind your own business!

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:18:37


it's just, you are always harping on about how great you are at parenting your step sons and how useless their own mother is. if the dcs want to live with you i wonder why you haven't made it happen.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:19:18

FFS it really is no business of yours.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:22:08

this is the internet. you know that is public right?

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:23:22

It doesn't give you a right to be gratuitously rude.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:24:46

nor you

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:33:42

<have some of my cranberry scones-you will feel better>

ds is like this, he makes sandwiches and takes them to school and comes home saying "what can I eat?" then discovers his sandwiches in his bag. confused

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:40:14

Yes. Unless you have teenaged boys in your life it can be difficult to realise how unbelievably incompetent they can be.

Hmm. You can always tell when someone posts on teenagers and their DC are very young.

To be honest I rather suspect that when mine were 5 and 7 for example I would have been smug and judgy about many of the issues raised on the teenage board.blush. (If MN had existed then of course).

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:46:28

The hormones make their brains go funny, it will pass. eventually.

I am more worried about dd (10) will be like when puberty hits her. [afraid]

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:51:20

Yes, we've watched Inside the Human Body all together...

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:56:21

i'm not being smug and judgy. i'm saying what my dcs can do and saying that there is no reason teenagers cant make themselves simple snacks or meals. there is no need to be babying teenagers. it wont help them learn to feed themselves will it?

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:57:22

and i've also been a teenager, i was still capable of beans on toast. hormones or not, the fridge was in the same place it had always been.

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 15:57:30

Teenagers are different, though. Their brains are wired differently.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 15:59:24

DD (8) is wildly more competent than the DSSs, who are like overgrown toddlers ie they have little self-control and need someone with high standards and who they are a bit afraid in the background in order to behave themselves...

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:59:37

I remember when my dc used to love to help me hoover, wash up and bake <wistful>

Sadly the journey to adulthood from childhood is not a simple linear progression.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:00:24

they're still part of the family, able to participate in family meals and be responsible for their own food when no-one else is there. they dont turn into babies.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:02:00

"Boohyoo, Expert On Teenagers"


Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:04:01

yes hilarious.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:05:02

Wait another 10 years...

<evil cackle>

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 16:18:50

FFS. Is teenage attitude infectious? Do you catch it when you talk about it, or something?! hmm

I'd love one of your cranberry scones, hugo, thank you. They sound calming delicious!

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:21:10

It's sadly not teenage attitude. Their brains go all funny and shrink and they revert to toddler levels of self-control and it is not their fault or that of their parents (their parents do, however, have to manage it).

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:21:42

They are calming <hands one over> I had to have 2 this afternoon after particularly stressful encounter this pm.

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:23:12

Oh jeepers, my English! Ah well, you'll have known what I meant. blush

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 16:31:19

I just had a conversation with teenage DS (on xbox) which was pretty much:

Are you hungry - No, mum
Would you like a snack - No, thanks
Shall I make you a hotdog? - Yes, please

Things are different in teenage-brain-world.

mrsjay Sat 05-Jan-13 16:33:50

let him starve and tbh I had a lazy mare at 15 she would not make herself anything if i was out and come sniffing for food when i came back , I left her to it and she did eventually make herself something, and id limit his xbox time they imo rot the brain grin

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:34:02

Oh I know that one.

What time would you like supper - don't know
Is there anything I should get you at M&S - don't know
Do you need a packed lunch any day next week - don't know
There is pizza/chocolate cake in the kitchen - sound of elephants hooves in the hall

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 16:35:13

I was being cheeky and referring to the adults here, Bonsoir hmm grin
And thank you, I have two teens of my own, so I already have plenty of ridiculous theories opinions about their development and behaviour. grin

hugo, I am licking my lips... Are you sure you have enough to go round?! grin

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:36:53

why do you even ask again after the first "no, mum" confused

tbh if someone asked me a third time about food after i'd told them twice i didn't want anything i'd probably say yes to get them to stop asking.

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 16:37:23

It's ok, he's taking down Xmas decorations now and wrapping up the baby Jesus, in return for said hotdog. I am not entirely without guile.

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 16:39:14

why do you even ask again

Because it's it 4.35pm and he hasn't eaten all day, and it's now getting dark.

I think it's the specificity of the request that matters.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:42:22

so if he's hungry he'll either say so or get himself something, surely?

unless he has an eating disorder, i'd say he'd find his way to the fridge when he realised his stomach was rumbling. he wont starve himself.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:45:01

LOL. I know teenage boys who when they go to university lose 10 kg in the first year and then put it all on again over the summer holidays, with some spare for the second year hmm

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:45:34

so if he's hungry he'll either say so or get himself something, surely?

If teenage boys responded like this, we wouldn't all be on here saying how weird they are would we?

I also think that they don't experience hunger the same way.
DS1 (17) will often come home from college with packed lunch untouched because he was so engrossed with lessons or activities that he forgot to eat.
On the other hand he will make and eat a huge bowl of pasta at 3pm for his lunch, eat a family meal with us at 7pm and then graze all evening until cereal for supper at midnight.

Because it's it 4.35pm and he hasn't eaten all day YY. I don't know about anyone else but I haven't lost that maternal need to feed them even though they are both bigger than me.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 16:51:49

" I know teenage boys who when they go to university lose 10 kg in the first year and then put it all on again over the summer holidays, with some spare for the second year "

i cant think why hmm

maybe it's because they are being spoonfed until they leave for uni at 18?

hugo, really what do you think is going to happen to them if you dont ask them twice if they're hungry? it's not a life and death thing. they will find the fridge eventually.

im not so convinced it's the teens that are weird TBH.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:53:02

You are really quite funny, Booyhoo grin

<just you wait>

<cackle, cackle>

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 16:58:13


We'd all be Stepford Wives if we all raised our children in identical ways...

I'm personally of the "neglect them as much as possible and it will make them marvellously independent in the end" school of parenting, but I never assume anyone else has to be the same! grin

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 16:59:30

Has that worked, flow4? It's my DSSs' mother's school of thought too...

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 17:05:16

well dont you think there might be a connection between people making every single meal for their teens and checking 3 times whether they want food and the teens then being unable to feed themselves when they go away from home? i think that's really sad. who wants to raise incapable children? it all seems very enabling to me. fine, if you want your adult dcs to be ever dependant on you but dont whinge about it and call them weird when you've encouraged it.

hugoagogo Sat 05-Jan-13 17:07:33

I try not to call it neglect; as someone who was neglected.

But I too try and make sure the dc have a safe place to live, with food provided, if not prepared and the facilities to clean themselves and their clothes/bedding.

But, not hand them everything on a plate.

I think it has worked mostly

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 17:09:19

No, it sadly doesn't work that way, Booyhoo. You have a perfectly competent 8 year old who gets up early and brings you Nespresso in bed, happily serves peanuts to guests at dinner parties, makes his own bed and looks sad if you bake without him and he morphs into a 13 year old who would rather eat pizza in bed in pyjamas at 6 pm having played on his phone and iPad all day.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 17:11:05

Hmm. When does hands-off parenting become neglect?

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 17:12:53

what is the problem with him eating pizza in bed in pyjamas at 6pm? you seem to be miffed at the loss of service he provided for you and your guests.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 17:13:51

Yes, I am pro child labour and will be calling the union hmm

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 17:13:54

It's too early to say, Bonsoir... The signs are reasonably favourable, but ask me again when they're in their thirties and I'll tell you whether I think they've grown up into likeable, admirable human beings. grin

I suspect it's just like the old one-up-manship I used to encounter at toddlers' group: "Little Johnnie has two teeth!", "Oh is that all? Little Eric has FOUR!"

Both Johnnie and Eric become equally skilled chewers, in time. grin

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 17:15:39


I tend to think that you need to put in lots of extra work in childhood ensuring they have lots of life skills. Even if they lose 50% of them temporarily as teenagers, 50% of a lot is preferable to 50% of very little...

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 17:19:10

This reminds me a little of the packed lunch thread where I got flamed for daring to suggest that when many of the pliable 7 and 8 year olds turned into teenagers they'd eat what they liked when they liked from the school canteen and the local shops, and people were adamant that their DCs wouldn't be feral like mine but would eat what they were given.

Funny old world.

mrsjay Sat 05-Jan-13 17:23:29

the packed lunch thread was bonkers though i ran away FAST

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 17:23:38

why does it remind you of that thread linerunner? i'm not saying your dcs should eat what they are given, i'm saying they will eat when they are hungry (logical, no?) rather than being dosed with a series of different versions of the same question before they give in and agree to eat when you want them to.

seeker Sat 05-Jan-13 17:24:35

"Oh really seeker? How exactly does all your family participate in all the catering at every single meal in your home, pray tell?"

They don't. Obviously. But they do participate in the table setting and washing up of 99% of the meals they eat, either cook or help cook or plan or shop for a significant majority, and acknowledge the effort that their father or I put into the rest.

They don't seem significantly scarred by this process.

Bonsoir Sat 05-Jan-13 17:27:04

Honestly, not all teens do eat when they are hungry. In fact, I went through a long phase of forgetting to eat. If you are a greedy pig sort of person that might not ring a bell, but it does happen.

seeker Sat 05-Jan-13 17:27:16

And they do that because they are members of the family, and things run smoothly and happily if we all work together.

I realise that sounds a bit sickening, but it's true.

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 17:33:07

It just kind of does, Booyhoo.

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 17:39:07

On that packed lunch thread I remember finally feeling obliged to say that I had been a breastfeeding, organic vegetarian food home-pulping mother, and one poster came on and wailed, 'But why do you now have all these terrible thoughts?!' [Thinking that they might not eat their healthy packed lunches every day]

Because they are teenagers now.

seeker Mine do all that too, it's just that they need a little nudge. And I don't insist on family meals 3 times a day. If we all sit down to a meal together in the evening I am happy to leave them to it the rest of the time. Some of that time they will "forget" to eat and others they are like a plague of locusts.

I have taught both of mine to cook and yes I have fond memories of them begging me to let them help hoover.
Teenage brain overcomes all that and they move in a different dimension unless you occasionally drag them back to earth. It's not about spoon feeding.

I've read the whole of this thread and I have some thoughts.

It's not about whether they are capable of it during their teenage years but whether they can be arsed! Ds1 is 16 and had done a meal a week since he was 12. He's now at catering college as he wants to be a chef. He has a part time job in a restaurant.

He will not make himself something to eat if there is someone else to do it for him because he can't be bothered.

I'm afraid op that you'll have to just see it through but don't cook until you are ready and let him do a meal a week for the family.

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 18:06:21

grin @ bonsoir's not so subtle suggestion that i am a greedy pig.

and how long did you go without food for bonsoir? a year? a month or did you just miss lunch. and what happened that made you have a meal again? i'll bet it was hunger. really, it isn't going to kill them and they will eventually drag their wasting stick thin frames to the fridge. if they forget to eat then they forget, they wont do it forever and they wont waste away.

Horsemad Sat 05-Jan-13 19:59:16

Wow! Am a bit shock at the way this thread has developed, I had no idea what a minefield it might become smile

I guess the nurturing part of me wants to ensure he eats, as he is a skinny thing who hasn't an ounce of spare flesh. The other harder part of me wants him to wake up to the fact of being AWARE that he nees to eat!!
He isn't expecting me to do it for him, he's snacking on chocolate and then isn't hungry for sensible stuff.

I've decided I'll confiscate the chocsand try & encourage him to eat a lunch. He does the same at school, I find packed lunches in his bag, they're usually about 6 wks old, ewwww!!

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