Ungrateful daughter tweeted her "crap" christmas presents

(75 Posts)
Fatcontroller1 Wed 26-Dec-12 21:31:26

Anyone else had an ungrateful outburst from dd?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Wed 26-Dec-12 21:33:50

Ebay her 'crap' presents for her?

Wow. How rude. I would be doing as hungrywoman suggested.

Poor you OP!

wigglybeezer Wed 26-Dec-12 21:39:09

Not mine, but one of my friend's daughters has complained about getting five pairs of pyjamas in the middle of a biglongmoan about how Xmas is rubbish when you are no longer a little kid ( she is 14). I felt a bit sorry for her ( and my friend) as I can remember feeling the same thing.

WTFwasthat Wed 26-Dec-12 22:29:31

how bloody ungrateful snd rude. i would be livid. little mare. They would all be returned to shops by tomorrow!

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Wed 26-Dec-12 22:34:07

my DS friend got nothing for xmas, he is 18. send her presents to him.....tell her how bloody lucky she is. i ended up doing xmas for my ds friend. Ive also lectured my two on how blooming lucky they are....my 2 are 15 and 21.

Kitsilano Wed 26-Dec-12 22:34:21

That is SO rude! My DD - only 7, so I know it's different - came into my bedroom on Christmas morning, carrying her stocking and said " I feel too lucky with all this, I am spoiled, I want to give some of my toys to charity."

I dont know where it came from, but I hope she continues to feel that way.

Tortington Wed 26-Dec-12 22:37:15

i probably would have got a black bin bag and chucked the lot out of temper tbh.

or worse tweeted back some highly imapropriate parent comment

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 26-Dec-12 22:44:10

Take them all off her

take a photograph of them as you bin them

tweet it #job done

whistlestopcafe Wed 26-Dec-12 22:47:47

What did she get?

Don't put up with it!!

She thinks they are crap, do the above. Take them to a Charity or Social Services.

Tough.

Moominsarehippos Wed 26-Dec-12 22:48:53

Does she know that you've seen it?

I'd be fuming! Take presents away from her.

GlitterySparklyBaublesOfDoom Wed 26-Dec-12 22:55:41

I'd reply to her tweet and say you're going to flog them on Ebay for charity seeing as she doesn't want them. All her mates/followers will see it. Would serve her right methinks!

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Wed 26-Dec-12 23:50:08

what did she get?

had she asked for any of it?

my dd is 15 and gave us a list.....she didnt get it all but she got a lot of it.

SecretSantaFix Wed 26-Dec-12 23:54:01

then she gets them removed.

MNPdoesYULETIDE Thu 27-Dec-12 00:00:30

Give them to someone who would cherish them

Or

Was she trying to act Big!!

sashh Thu 27-Dec-12 09:16:21

Are they crap?

Still rude to tweet, but I'd like to know what she got.

MaryBS Thu 27-Dec-12 09:27:01

DD is 13 and loves her presents (nice camera and several pairs of PJs blush and a few other bits, but not the DVD player and other things she wanted). We do get the odd outburst from her, some of which can be hurtful, but not about her presents.

Astelia Thu 27-Dec-12 09:36:45

Another one wondering what she got and had she asked for anything specifically?

Teens are self-absorbed and they want to fit in with their friends. If their presents are not similar to what friends got or what they asked for it is more cool to slag them off IYSWIM.

Moominsarehippos Thu 27-Dec-12 09:43:25

Still - it would be good to learn now that you can't shit on someone else and not expect fallout.

Better an earbashing from mum than a punch in the face from some crazy schoolmate you've made a rude tweet about!

I do wonder what she got. Maybe it was a roll of dog-poo-picky-up bags? That would be a crap gift!

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Thu 27-Dec-12 09:52:23

And she still has them?

Please tell me her 'crap' gifts are now removed from the ungrateful baggage's bedroom, awaiting ebay listings.

Don't reward such behaviour by allowing her to keep these things.

Or at least a short sharp shock of removing them and telling her they're going on ebay, but they could possibly be earned back with good behaviour/chores/etc.

What you cannot do is just sit back and take that!

If they are 'crap' she won't want or miss them. Gather up the crap and give to someone else.

Mine both put on FB they had a lovely Chtistmas and great presents.

Sparklingbrook Thu 27-Dec-12 10:03:16

shock How ungrateful. Also highlights another reason I hate FB and Twitter, and the oversharing teenagers do on social networking sites. They see what everyone else has. angry

ZenNudist Thu 27-Dec-12 10:07:48

Teens expect too much. What did she get? Another one who thinks they should be taken back until she says sorry or charity shopped. Best to nip this kind of attitude in the bud.

Hmm. Well there's the usual load of threads on here from adults complaining about the crap presents they received from their adult mums/mils/relatives. Is that different then?

Or is it different cos it is twitter? Would it be ok if your dd started a MN thread? Or are you only allowed to start complaining about presents when you reach 18?

Don't take the presents back, you gave them to her, they're not yours any more. Give her the receipts, so she can exchange them for things she does want.

There isn't anything wrong with thinking that the presents you received were crap, is there? Or chatting to your friends about that?

The only thing she has done wrong is complain using a media where the gift-giver can see the complaint. That part you might want to chat to her about.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 10:13:51

iirc there is a "crap presents" thread on mn where (adult) mn'ers can post about their "crap" presents. How is this any different to a teen posting about her crap presents on twitter?

I don't necessarily agree with posting about your crap presents on public social media, but equally I think we have entered a bit of a double standard where adults are essentially doing exactly the same things they consider rude in their offspring.

Sparklingbrook Thu 27-Dec-12 10:14:31

But Bertha these are presents from her parents (I assume), There is a respect issue.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Thu 27-Dec-12 10:15:33

No, it isn't. It's just as rude!

Well, there are those that would argue it's less rude because the people who gave you the gift won't know what you're saying.

so it's apparently ok to be rude as long as people don't know you're being rude.

It's not. It's not ok to complain about a gift. To actually complain about one.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 10:19:09

"But Bertha these are presents from her parents (I assume), There is a respect issue." Does respect cease at the point you become an adult then? complaining about your crap presents is no less rude when you are an adult than when you are a teen. And yet on mn people are positively encouraged to doo so. It is rude regardless of who gave the present.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 10:20:01

Yep I agree with Bertha and all. Complaining about presents is rude, whether it is anonymously, by FB/Twitter, or out loud. It's just that if you do it here the person you are being rude about doesn't know, which I suppose is better for them.

The lesson to be learned here is to not read what your children tweet or fb about you grin.

The same rules apply as apply to the relationships boards here. If you were to read the board, you would assume that all marriages are unhappy, that all husbands are shit etc. But in fact, people only post about the bad things. Teenagers only post when they want to complain - you wouldn't get a teenager posting "my mum is cool, beautiful and interesting" would you?

Rise above it and ignore. If you feel you have to say something, just say quietly "if you don't want them, that's fine, I'll give them to someone else".

FlojoHoHoHo Thu 27-Dec-12 10:20:11

How did you find out she'd put that?

Flyingfruit Thu 27-Dec-12 10:24:45

Another one wondering what she got that was so crap!

Narked Thu 27-Dec-12 10:25:29

First ever post from the OP.

Moominsarehippos Thu 27-Dec-12 10:26:36

You don't slag your (named) mum off in public. It's just not on! We all whinge on here but no one here knows MrMoomins, or littleMoomins in real life!

She has to learn that there can be pretty serious consequences of tweets/Facebook postings etc. bitch about someone, post a photo of your bare bum, name names in Yew Tree investigations... What if she mentioned that some guys girlfriend is ugly? Or that her friends mum is having an affair? Or that a teacher is a letch?

TheSecondComing Thu 27-Dec-12 10:35:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gotta love my dd (13) who face booked how people were complaining about their presents should be grateful and think of others who have nothign, no clean water etc., let alone presents grin <<unusually smug mother>>

i spect she copied it from someone else on twitter, i spect the op dd copied it too, or at least may be did not really mean it.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 13:00:29

"You don't slag your (named) mum off in public. It's just not on! We all whinge on here but no one here knows MrMoomins, or littleMoomins in real life!" But how do you know that? Thing is that none of us knows who might be reading our mn posts unseen and identifying us from the details we post here.

People here post under far too much of a delusion of anonymity IMO. Fact is, this is a public internet forum, anyone can read what you post and potentially identify what you post from that. I take the view that you shouldn't post online what you wouldn't be prepared to say to someone's face, and need to bear in mind that anyone could read what you post on the basis they might already be reading it.

flow4 Fri 28-Dec-12 11:15:23

I'm a bit bemused by the number of parents who think the best way to respond to teenage bad behaviour is to sink to a similarly low level!

She was rude and disrespectful and stupidly indiscreet; you want to encourage her to be polite and respectful, and to think before she shoots her mouth off in public; you won't do that by taking her stuff and selling it on ebay!

Better to tell her you're hurt and angry, make sure she knows Twitter is public, and explain that no-one feels like giving things to people who are ungrateful... And if you really find yourself not wanting to help her out next time she wants a tenner, well, make the link...

specialsubject Fri 28-Dec-12 11:18:15

fair enough, but I also think that no-one learns without consequences. This is so objectionable that it needs big consequences to make sure that she learns.

sell some of it?

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 28-Dec-12 11:21:15

My two are still at that age where they are lovely and grateful, although dd1 has her moments she got what she wanted for christmas.

Dd2 has been the perfect angel, despite her 'main' present (a laptop, it's literally all that was on her list) not working. I took it back to the shop yesterday and wanted her to tell them she was upset to try and get vouchers or something but when the lady dealing with us apologised and said she felt awful dd2 said "It's okay, it'll get mended and I can have my present then. I saw'd all my cousins on christmas anyway and had a party so it was still the funest day ever"

wannaBe Fri 28-Dec-12 11:24:03

also, there is some irony in responding to someone's posting about them on the internet by ... posting about it on the internet! wink

GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan Fri 28-Dec-12 11:28:32

I think it's a bit different to people moaning anonymously to strangers on MN about shite presents, than a teenager moaning on her personal account. And she is a bit daft - of course that kind of comment is going to get back.

I would not resort to taking all her stuff away in a strop. That would be mental. The OP doesn't state that she is moaning about the presents from her parents anyway. I would have a go though and tell her how bloody materialistic she sounds though.

Pantomimedam Fri 28-Dec-12 11:29:30

Aw, your dd is so sweet, D0oin, if I'd been the shop assistant I'd have given her the vouchers for being so cute!

flow4 Fri 28-Dec-12 11:31:27

There always are consequences though, special: it's just that adults only have to deal with real consequences, not ones invented by more powerful people. So if you posted something rude on FB or Twitter about a present from a friend, , and they got to hear about it, then either you would lose a friend, or you'd have an almighty row, or you'd apologise, or (if you were very lucky) you might just get away with it altogether. No-one would come and take your stuff away and sell it on ebay, would they?! hmm

gabyjane Sat 29-Dec-12 15:34:10

My daughter did this on her 14th birthday. I bought her a couple of token gifts before we went shopping for the day for her to choose something. her responce was 'youv'e bought me a load of crap'. Her day didnt go very well but she did get a gift she wanted out of me a while on. My punishment was xmas day. She got me..nothing. Nice eah!

MrsDeVere Sat 29-Dec-12 15:44:23

My DS1 has always been like this. He appears to have no grateful chromosome.
I don't know why. If you give him something he looks at it and tells you it comes in a bigger size hmm

Now he is older he gets very little. A few token things because it is pointless giving him anything else. As well as the lack of appreciation he tends to break and lose things.

It upsets me because I look after my things and have always taken pleasure in buying gifts for him and others. All I can do is hope he grows out of it one day.
He has never been spoiled and showered in expensive gifts. He has never owned any designer stuff or brand new gadgetry. I simply do not know where his sense of entitlement comes from.

I am quite sure he was disappointed in his practical gifts this year. Toiletries etc. He will not think 'hmm maybe this is down to my behaviour'. He will think 'this isnt what I wanted. Where is my Iphone 5'

Seriously, the boy is a mystery to me. I am quite certain we are not perfect parents but we definitely bought him up in a home with a work ethic and to appreciate how lucky we are to have a roof and enough to eat (or we tried).

I just hope it pays off one day.

whistlestopcafe Sat 29-Dec-12 15:47:07

Jeez I'm not looking forward to the teenage years if this is what happens.

Astelia Sat 29-Dec-12 16:19:04

whistlestopcafe it isn't what always happens. Teens are all different.

clam Sat 29-Dec-12 16:32:16

whistlestop This isn't "what happens." My two (16 and 14) were absolutely delighted with theirs (dd in particular kept kissing me and saying I'm the best - and dh of course), they help around the house and always ask nicely and thank me for lifts anywhere.

I'm not sure what I'd do, but certainly something. It's a great opportunity to show her that when you post something on the Internet anyone can read it and there might be negative consequences.

Important life lesson!

BluelightsAndSirens Sat 29-Dec-12 16:36:07

Were they crap presents?

BendyBobsBrusselsSprouts Sat 29-Dec-12 16:36:13

Also confirming this isn't what happens. My dd is 14 and nothing, absolutely nothing like that.

MrsDeVere Sat 29-Dec-12 16:36:20

No it doesn't always happen. DD wasn't like that.
Some kids are like that, some are like that for a little while whilst they learn not 'to be like that'.
Some are like that from a young age.

Children have personality traits.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 29-Dec-12 16:39:33

I was disappointed with my Christmas presents off my nan tbh, she completely forgot to buy me one apart from the scarf I picked out of the charity shop to give to me and a key ring of kids in their gymnastic clothes. She bought my brother and cousin £40 odd Xbox game each and my sister got a steam iron, we had said before that she was going to get me a purse but before Christmas she said she had already got me mine and it was a surprise. She properly hyped it up where I thought oo something really good an it turned out my charity shop scarf was in her head my main present.

Even though on here it sounds totally spoilt of me to be disappointed I would never let her know I was disappointed.

MrsDeVere Sat 29-Dec-12 16:45:49

I was disappointed with the 'hair removal system' that my OH bought me. I am practically hairless, being the palest person on the planet.

But I liked the Clarins stuff he got me. I just wish he wouldn't try and branch out. I suspect he bought it because it was all pink and stuff.
Bless.

RailRoaded Sat 29-Dec-12 16:48:50

I remember being a tom boyish 12 and getting a doll from my nan and a polyester under skirt slip from my great aunt. I think if twitter had been around then I might have been tempted.

pookamoo Sat 29-Dec-12 16:49:39

If you are feeling really, really angry, there's always this as an option! wink

GoodKingWenSOLOslas Sat 29-Dec-12 16:58:11

My 14 year old Ds was much the same; ungrateful, upset etc. I had been warning both Dc's that there would be very little this year and ensuring they really knew and understood it. Dd was fine (she's much younger), but Ds was a sulky little sod. Doesn't 'like' the toiletries (Ted Baker and Fat Face (?)) only got two sets of books and a single book and a onesie and a second hand laptop (how dare I?!). He asked for money from the few relatives that do give gifts, so he got a further £60 from them and £10 from me (because he made me feel so crap).

He has suddenly realised though, that he is now in the final few years where he will get quite a few gifts for Christmas. He realises that at 18 you are an adult and you get one gift from Mum. I think it hit home when I asked him how many gifts I got...

For the first time ever, Ds used money he'd earned and bought me and Dd gifts, which was lovely smile (Rod Stewart CD's).

I hope that Ds has not publicly embarrassed me (will check his fb). I hope that he starts to understand the real value of what he gets, but teenagers are horrid creatures a lot of the time and I do think it's because they get far too much and it becomes a competition for them and for their parents to get and give as much as possible. How sad is that.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 29-Dec-12 17:46:04

My mum said this year was the last big Christmas, she didn't stop at 18 (lovely lovely lovely) she bought me the most wonderful coat from top shop and perfume and socks and gloves and a throw for my sofa another scarf (I like scarfs) some pot purri however you spell it and bought my dc loads and loads and loads. She always spoils us at Christmas and we always have a good haul of stuff. I realise in very lucky with a mum who goes all out on Christmas though and we all do spoil her back.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Sat 29-Dec-12 18:19:39

I forgot to buy my 14 year old a main present.

I did get him lots of little santa stocking presents, but entirely forgot to get him something big, I have no idea how.

He was very nice about it grin

flow4 Sat 29-Dec-12 19:12:59

Oh Mary! grin grin

My DS2's present didn't arrive until Christmas Eve, which was so uncomfortably close that I had spoken to him about how he'd feel if he didn't get it until after The Big Day...

And I deliberately failed to buy DS1 a birthday present this year because I thought he'd sell it to buy drugs so buying him a prezzie this Christmas and believing it was safe felt pretty good smile

crypes Sat 29-Dec-12 19:23:00

When I was ayoung teenager I told my friends my parents didnt celebrate Christmas because I was so ashamed of the one bottle of bubble bath and hotwater bottle they would only buy me. My friends had clothes and jewellery and handbags etc.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Sat 29-Dec-12 19:32:53

I went to get him a guitar case, but they didn't have one to fit his guitar, so I was going to buy him something else but forgot blush.

I always give mine bags of crap (pj's, toiletries, books, edibles), and luckily had given ds1 CoD, so ds2's been happily playing that.

flow, I managed to stop my parents giving ds1 any money this year - so all the grandchildren got a tenner instead of the usual 50. They were not impressed. Oh dear. They did get presents instead though, and I was most impressed that all my children were grateful and polite, whereas their cousins were more obviously hmm.

crypes, that's terrible sad

flow4 Sun 30-Dec-12 06:36:50

You just reminded me DS2 needs a guitar case... He's borrowed a guitar to start to learn on but it has no case... Actually, he probably needs a guitar of his own, too... Birthday coming up...

I'm glad we have no family habit of giving cash... Mind you, other presents just got sold... For a while... Fingers crossed that has stopped now.

mrsjay Mon 31-Dec-12 08:53:21

my dd put on facebook last night that her new laptop is stupid and windows 8 is a PITA and she was going to throw it against the wall if she couldn't get it to work properly, now she was probably just annoyed she couldn't do something but it wasn't a cheap laptop she got it for college I felt really sad at her moaning about it ,

mathanxiety Tue 01-Jan-13 06:58:03

Sorry, dailymail here but how abut this as a response?

I stopped giving exH anything he could lose or break and anything that cost more than a token amount of money really. Too many things lost, left on trains, ruined when he washed them. I knew when I started thinking he was doing it on purpose it was time to give him chocolates.

Fatcontroller1 Tue 01-Jan-13 08:32:39

I like that idea!

Fatcontroller1 Tue 01-Jan-13 08:34:16

No but did not include PS3 or iPhone5!

Fatcontroller1 Tue 01-Jan-13 08:38:19

I have seen that! Fantastic! I was tempted to tweet under her name the list of all presents and cash she did get ....but felt it would be wrong.

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas Tue 01-Jan-13 08:39:46

Reply saying you have removed al the offensive gifts and sent them to a children's charity.

Fatcontroller1 Tue 01-Jan-13 08:41:48

Thank you all for your responses: DD is quite repentant and feels awful. Was overcome by envy as everyone else was FBing their presents and she had nothing of bragging value it seems.

Fatcontroller1 Tue 01-Jan-13 08:43:01

Yes - there have been consequences and you are right - a life lesson hopefully learnt.

mrsjay Tue 01-Jan-13 09:27:54

there have been consequences and you are right - a life lesson hopefully learnt.

you know sometimes teens think the grass is always greener hmm they cant help themselves dd had a huge arguement about bloody windows 8 i said well you can take it back to the shop and get a refund blah bla blush

chocoluvva Tue 08-Jan-13 14:00:50

Maybe she didn't REALLY mean it. Teenage girls tend to be over-dramatic. And they don't think of the consequences of their actions.

I would let her know you've seen the tweet and briskly and matter-of-factly point out consequences of posting rude comments on the internet. Don't make a big deal of it but do mention that you don't feel disposed to be generous to her at the moment.

Once, my then 15YO DD was complaining so much to me while I was driving her to a shop just to buy things she 'urgently' needed that I made her get out of the car and walk home. Afterwards I explained that there's only so much even a mum will put up with before she just doesn't feel like being kind and nice to her DD. DD usually says thankyou for lifts now. I think flow4's advice about witholding the next tenner is good.

IME 14 is a gruesome stage.

(Though 15 was even worse..... grin but so far 16 is better - only 3 months in though!)

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