menstruation stopped

(122 Posts)
lifesamystery Mon 05-Nov-12 12:31:46

My dd is 14 and had her first period in June this year, followed by a second almost exactly four weeks later. However, there has been nothing since then. Is this normal? Nothing else has really changed during this time!

Goofus Mon 05-Nov-12 13:17:12

That can be totally normal for a lot of girls.
Personally, I had my first period and then I didn't have another one for 6 months.

AnyFucker Mon 05-Nov-12 13:20:26

that is quite normal

Mrsjay Mon 05-Nov-12 14:16:35

yes this is normal dd1 had her first at 12 and and then a few sporadic ones it settled down by the time she was 14/15

dd2 has always been regular from since she started.

GockandJuice Mon 05-Nov-12 14:19:07

Teens periods can take a while to settle down. Mine didn't settle till i was about 17 and i had my first at 12!

lifesamystery Mon 05-Nov-12 18:26:51

Ok, thanks, thats good to know. I really can't remember what it was like for me as a comparison!

Mrsjay Mon 05-Nov-12 19:18:26

I cant remember what I was like either i started at 12 but cant really remember if I was regular or not.

Theas18 Tue 06-Nov-12 07:28:56

Can be normal. I'm assuming you have no suspicions she's pregnant? Worth asking in a joky way Whist looking her in the eye ..

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 15:19:20

Absolutely none and I am quite offended that you even asked.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 15:21:32

don't be so bloody precious hmm

EdithWeston Wed 07-Nov-12 15:21:56

Please don't be offended. It's an obvious reason for cessation of menses, and a possibility that does need to be excluded.

shrimponastick Wed 07-Nov-12 15:26:31

It is such a long time ago that i can't remember.

Iwould imagine that it won't always be as regular as clockwork from the first though.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 16:31:38

Of course it is an obvious reason - for some! It is excluded.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 16:57:52

for some ?

what the fuck does that mean ?

you think it's impossible for your teenage daughter to get pregnant ?

I truly hope you never have to eat those sanctimonious words

PropositionJoe Wed 07-Nov-12 16:59:49

I think "for some" means " for those sexually active". Which this girl isn't.

Floggingmolly Wed 07-Nov-12 17:01:13

It is excluded. hmm. Hope you're right.

Floggingmolly Wed 07-Nov-12 17:02:28

Not all sexually active teenagers share the fact with their parents, PropositionJoe

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Wed 07-Nov-12 17:03:53

Have you actually checked she isn't pregnant or do you just assume it couldn't happen to her?

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 18:29:43

For a child that attends an all girls boarding school and who hardly leaves her parents side when she is at home then I would say that it was pretty unlikely. Im not quite as naive as some of you might think.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Wed 07-Nov-12 18:33:18

Unlikely but not impossible then, does she have a boyfriend?

bigTillyMint Wed 07-Nov-12 18:36:41

I guess the OP's DD told her she hadn't had any periods for a while and was worrying about it. I doubt she would have approached it quite like that otherwise, unless she is going for the part of Mary in the boarding school nativity!

Having said that, a mother that I know through my job has just found that her DD of 15 is 6mths pregnant. She was covering it up well.

sassythebloodFIRSTy Wed 07-Nov-12 18:38:58

Another thought ESP if at all girls boarding school - anorexia can cause cessation of periods.

If you are satisfied she is otherwise well, be assured that irregular periods are v common in young girls. In fact, mine didn't settle into a regular pattern until I was 30 and had had my first child.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 18:55:37

OP, people are not casting aspersions on your daughter, but teenage girls get pg every day. Even ones at good boarding schools.

I was also going to bring up the spectre of an eating disorder but decided against it since you are so snappy to people who are attempting to assist you

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 19:11:44

I do not see people that swear at and insult me as being particularly helpful.

The thought of an eating disorder did spring to mind and is about a zillion times more likely that her being pregnant. However, she has not lost any weight and seemed to eat perfectly normally while at home for two weeks over half term so I have pretty much discounted that as well.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 19:12:49

You're a proper peach, aintcha ?

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 19:14:25

Forgot to add that she doesn't have a boyfriend and if she did she would have had no opportunity to be alone with him. I do know this, honestly, which is why it is the one and only reason for her "problem" that I know is not possible!

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 19:17:34

I went to an all girls boarding school winkgrin. They can't keep an eye on everyone all the time no matter what they promise.

Although in fairness if she appears to be normal weight and eating well her hormones are probably all over the shop.

<Decides it's probably unhelpful to post that her privately educated birth mother was pregnant at 15 and hid it for 6 months>

pinkapples Wed 07-Nov-12 19:18:29

Probably normal but I did have 2 periods exactly 4 weeks apart when I was 12 then they stopped I had diagnosed at 16 after going to docs... I also went to an all girls boarding school and was in a different country to my parents so no... Not pregnancy related just thought I'd mention it :-) she's probably for though I wouldn't be concerned until they disappear completely it took my mum 4 years of no periods to be worried... Hope all fine tho x

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 19:21:41

Congratulations Grandma smile

UltraBOF Wed 07-Nov-12 19:22:40

I'd say it was normal too, but we'd be a bit remiss not to flag up pregnancy or disordered eating as issues for any teenage girl, wouldn't we? There's really no need to be horrified, or imply your family is a cut above all that- it comes across as a bit rude, in case you didn't realise.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 19:42:18

I did not imply anything. perhaps I shouldn't have said I felt insulted even though I was. Not because I'd don't know that teenage girls get pregnant but because I am not stupid and also know what is and isn't going on in my daughters life.

Pinkapples, I think a few words are missing from our message so not us what the diagnosis was!!

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Wed 07-Nov-12 19:43:44

If you took her to the doctor I'm sure the first thing they would do would be a pregnancy test given the fact that she is female and not having periods, so there's really no need to be so "offended".

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 19:44:20

Meant Not sure what the diagnosis was.

Musomathsci Wed 07-Nov-12 19:51:18

If you really believe that attending an all girls boarding school means your daughter couldn't possibly be sexually active, then you are sadly misinformed or very naive.

Most likely you're right, she's fine, and it's all just normal, but please don't kid yourself that nothing could possibly happen.

There is a well-known axiom in medical circles "Every woman of child-bearing age is pregnant and lying until proven otherwise". Just saying....

pinkapples Wed 07-Nov-12 20:01:01

it was polycystic ovary syndrome, I was glad to get a diagnosis chose not to take any medication as to be fair no periods was great for a teenager tho did have fertility issues but am now sitting 9 weeks preg with an ivf baby so even if it is (which again she's still young it's probably not they probably just haven't settled) its not all bad... Tell her to enjoy the lack of periods for now... But don't forget about it and think they will come back on there own they might not grin

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 20:24:44

Pinkapples, I didn't think of that. I wonder if it is hereditary as I do have a very mild version of hat although it has never really caused any problems and was only discovered by accident during a scan. Do hope all goes well for you - exciting times!

Musomathsci I think there are boarding schools and boarding schools. I just know that at the one my dd attends there are really honestly are no opportunities to meet any boys in an unsupervised way. Obviously people don't believe me, and that is up to them.

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 20:37:52

Seriously? take your DD to the GP, they will ask about the possibility of pregnancy, maybe she'd like to go in on her own?

I think she is pregnant, im really serious and not ashamed to admit ive advanced searched your posts.

She is either pregnant or this is all a big wind up.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Wed 07-Nov-12 20:40:13

Me too Amber.

TunipTheHollowVegemalLantern Wed 07-Nov-12 20:44:17

I must say I am a bit shock at the idea of being 14 and having so little freedom or privacy that your mum can be totally certain you're not pregnant. Mine are still little so I have no experience but is this normal for parents of teenagers these days?

EchoBitch Wed 07-Nov-12 20:45:05

Blimey sweetie,you are blinkered.

Musomathsci I think there are boarding schools and boarding schools.

I went to boarding school,probably not one as nice as the one you chose for your daughter,but i remember one girl being expelled for being pregnant.

She was put on a plane home to her parents who were abroad in Saudi,her father was a diplomat iirc.

Teenagers will always find a way to meet each other,is it a nunnery?

Boarding schools aren't the same prisons they once were.

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 20:49:19

So she goes to borstal not boarding school? grin. I went to one of the top, very 'proper' all girls boarding schools (not that anyone who knows me would ever guess) and there was always a way to meet boys. Are you aware that you are coming across as terribly rude.

Not to say that I imagine she is pregnant but your refusal to even accept that it could be a possibility is both amusing and irritating in equal measure. My father refused to believe I could possibly be pregnant and I was 25 and had been married for a year, it's probably a parent thing.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 20:51:03

very subtle grin

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 20:52:45

<Waves at EchoBitch> YY one girl in my year was on a plane back to her parents after they found her under the stage at a ball having sex with a boy from the nearest boys school. He only got suspended which I always thought was very unfair. Definitely broke the '3 feet rule' mind.

slambang Wed 07-Nov-12 20:57:29

You are being ridiculous getting offended at a question. Yes, you know your daughter but we don't know her so why not ask the most obvious and necessary question of all. In fact Theas' question was extremely delicately worded. I'm assuming you have no suspicions...?"

I went to an all girls boarding school too. With absolutely no interraction with boys at all. People still managed to get pregnant, have affairs with male teachers, smoke and drink anything to reduce the boredom.

EchoBitch Wed 07-Nov-12 20:58:27

Girls boarding school were bastards back then (when i went) ,totally different standards for boys/girls.

At Dbros school you got a letter home for smoking (and not for the first offence),at mine you got expelled. grin

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 20:59:39

And I wonder what you have all learnt about my life and circumstances by doing that advanced search?

What I don't understand is how telling it how it is is being rude. Some of the posts are being helpful but most of you are making assumptions based on zero knowledge which is pretty frustrating for me as well.

Exactly how posting a simple question as a concerned mum has led to accusations that my daughter is a liar that clearly must sleep around even while she is in prison I am not sure.

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 21:00:11

Happy days eh slambang? Sitting on the school roof smoking and keeping gin in my tuckbox grin and not ever shagging boys from the local town, oh no.

LineRunner Wed 07-Nov-12 21:00:55

What Amberleaf said ^^.

AnyFucker Wed 07-Nov-12 21:03:08

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TunipTheHollowVegemalLantern Wed 07-Nov-12 21:04:19

I'm just worried the OP is overprotecting her daughter. sad

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 21:07:02

Of course she isn't life, she is probably a lovely, innocent, well behaved girl with that fabulous hair that public school girls always seem to have and like most 14 year olds has probably barely held hands with a boy let alone anything else. It is your insistence that private schools ensure children are kept chaste by their very exclusiveness that we are all taking the mickey out of. Well that and your insinuation that we must all have gone to inferior schools if we had fun without teachers noticing. I mean no harm wink

Floggingmolly Wed 07-Nov-12 21:07:03

Well, one of the things we learned was that your dd has a boyfriend. Except on this thread she not only doesn't, but she never leaves her parents side confused

EchoBitch Wed 07-Nov-12 21:07:23


Are you mad?

And is it a Nunnery?

What did we learn? Well I've learnt that your dd was 13 two weeks ago and is 14 now. So a birthday? Except she was also in Year 9 last summer so should be in Year 10 now. To be in Year 10 the latest her birthday could be is August 1998 - making her 14 two weeks ago. Unless you have dds very close together? Do enlighten me

slambang Wed 07-Nov-12 21:09:14

Oh yes Wales. And there actually wasn't a lot of shagging due to the limited opportunities but Oh Boy, did we spend a lot of time talking about shagging!

ivykaty44 Wed 07-Nov-12 21:11:13

echo the op said her dd was sleeping around

EchoBitch Wed 07-Nov-12 21:13:06

Did she,on this OP?

Must have missed that...sorry OP...*SHE IS SLEEPING AROUND*!

ivykaty44 Wed 07-Nov-12 21:14:57

Echo Wed 07-Nov-12 20:59:39 - Op's post, last part she clearly says her dd must be sleeping around wink I take it if one is allowed to twist we are all allowed to twist?

Sleeping around is neither here nor there tbh. It's possible for any female of childbearing age to be pregnant even if they don't have a boyfriend. One off events happen and so do sexual assaults. I have a 14 yr old (definately 14 and in Yr 10). I would not describe her as having either the opportunity or the inclination to have a sexual relationship but I would be absolurely fooling myself if I tried to claim it wasn't possible. Eating disorders too can be harder to spot that you'd think and a lass who is having issues with food WILL want to hide that.

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 21:19:28

I've lost interest in OP's daughter now, just want to reminisce about how much fun it was when there was only one or two members of staff overnight in charge of 60 teenage girls. Happy days now I think about it.

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 21:21:47

And I wonder what you have all learnt about my life and circumstances by doing that advanced search

That your DD had a boyfriend in june.

That you cant find jeans that fit her expanding waist

What northernlurker said just adds to it all, so its looking suss TBH.

I can't believe anyone could seriously be this naive, or offended at the suggestions that have been made if this were real.

EchoBitch Wed 07-Nov-12 21:22:58

It was fun back then LostInWales.

My parents were abroad too and we had to fly unaccompanied on long haul flights from 10 years old with ground hostesses supposed to look after us if we had to stay overnight in hotels in forrin parts,which i did in Singapore waiting for a connecting flight to Brunei.

It would never happen now.

LostInWales Wed 07-Nov-12 21:29:00

Ahhh, memories. I had a friend who lived in America so I used to stay with her in the holidays sometimes, fly back on my own at 13 with a change at O'Hare. <looks at own nearly 13 year old and wonders how I didn't end up in much more trouble> I could have fitted a lot of sex in then had I not been more interested in teddy bears and horses wink

Declutterbug Wed 07-Nov-12 21:30:39

OP there are lots of medical reasons why your dd could be experiencing this. Most are harmless. Could you take her to the GP or would she be too mortified? Would she go on her own?

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 22:23:10

If you all think it's a wind up then why waste your time! I made a post in May, which concluded with my saying that she had a friend who was a boy. I have two daughters very close in age. It happens and I know how.

I wonder if any of you, just even one or two of you, can see that perhaps I may have been offended at some of the accusations made against me and my family?

I guess she would go to a dr on her own but this would not be allowed at school and she would have a houseparent accompany her. As the people that responded initially put my mind at rest then I don't see a need for a dr, though. I'm sure her hormones will settle in time and all will be well. I will investigate further if nothing happens within another few months.

whois Wed 07-Nov-12 22:33:05

Dude, 14 and at boarding school... There is plenty of time away from prying eyes to meet a village boy behind the fives courts :-)

LineRunner Wed 07-Nov-12 22:35:19

How does she have a boy who is a friend in class, though, at all girls' boarding school, if you don't mind me asking.

Irrespective of that, I think a GP visit would be sensible.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 22:37:12

Lostinwales, I have not once even mentioned your or other peoples schools. Nor have I said anything about schools in general keeping children chaste. I have simply said that I know what is the case at my daughters school. Truly, all schools are not the same and there are reasons why hers is not the same. Her school is extremely exclusive and selective but not for the reason that any of ou will be thinking. She is there because she is extremely talented in one particular area and for that reason, yes, they do lead a reasonably sheltered life. It is her choice to be there, not mine.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 22:38:50

Linerunner, she changed school in September. Many children leave/join her type of school for yr 10.

5madthings Wed 07-Nov-12 22:40:44

If she may be preg why would you leave it a few months before doing anything?!! Ffs buy a test, get her to pee on a stick and then you will know one way or another. Dont leave it!!

abbierhodes Wed 07-Nov-12 22:44:17

LOL! What a blinkered, naïve parent you are!
I bet you anything she's pregnant!

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Wed 07-Nov-12 22:45:46

If she changed school in September, had a boyfriend in June and hasn't had a period since when? July? Then it's still a possibility.

No one is judging you or your daughter, but if your daughter is pregnant or if there is another reason for her lack of periods then it's best to find out sooner rather than later surely?

Declutterbug Wed 07-Nov-12 22:49:46

Please make sure she sees a GP to rule out a medical problem. Is she worried? A doctor can reassure her all is well (in the likely event that it is smile). You were worried enough to ask us, please make sure a RL expert is asked too.

LineRunner Wed 07-Nov-12 22:50:44

I suppose she would have last seen her friend who is a boy in July?

Anyway, GP visit - it can only help.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 22:52:10

I give up. I really do. She is not pregnant. I am not naive, blinkered or stupid. Most of you lot clearly are, though, as you find it impossible to think that there might just be someone out there who just don't fit the mold of a stereotypical teenager.

LineRunner Wed 07-Nov-12 22:54:31

You really do need to get a GP's appointment, though. If your DD told you about the lack of periods then I guess she would like some reassurance?

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 22:56:40

She is not remotely worried. I myself was reassured by the number of people who said that it is quite normal to be irregular to start with. If I was worried, I would do something, honestly!

Stickem..... In fact, a large number of people are judging me.

What is an RL expert?

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 22:57:24

What the heck do 'stereo typical moulds' have to do with anything?

I think most people here are saying, be aware that things like this happen to all sorts of girls from all sorts of backgrounds, its you that thinks only girls that sleep around get pregnant!

No one has made accusations about you or your daughter.

Get a grip.

5madthings Wed 07-Nov-12 22:58:43

Well if you are not worried yoi have nothing to lose by doing a preg test just to be sure.

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 22:59:48

Your own prejudices are making you feel judged, because you seem to think only a certain kind of 14 year old gets pregnant.

LineRunner Wed 07-Nov-12 22:59:52

So if you are not worried, and your daughter is not remotely worried, what's the problem? Have a GP check and there you go.

abbierhodes Wed 07-Nov-12 23:01:26

Do you not realise that a lot of people had sexual relationships at the age of 14? So you being 'offended' that your precious DD may have done the same is insulting to a lot of people.
Do you not understand that?

Maryz Wed 07-Nov-12 23:02:49

Well, from your posts so far we know that your dd has a boyfriend and is overweight, and her periods have stopped.

Doing a pregnancy test (a proper one, in a gp's office) might be a good idea.

If her periods stopped in July, then her being at an all-girls' boarding school is completely irrelevant, as her pregnancy would predate this school year.

So if you are real, ffs grow up, stop being pompous and talk to your daughter.

curiousgeorgie Wed 07-Nov-12 23:05:57

If she's away at boarding school, how do you know her periods have stopped? Or did she tell you?

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 23:07:38

I know that all kinds of girls get pregnant and I know that it only takes once for it to happen. I also know that it is not possible for my daughter to be pregnant. Kind of like I know it is dark outside. I don't need to look, but i know it is. Some relationships and situations are just like that.

I am not worried now. Was a little concerned to begin with but have been reassured, as I said.

bonkersLFDT20 Wed 07-Nov-12 23:09:26

OP, knowing that periods can be irregular at first is pretty standard knowledge and I think something you should know as a mother of a teenage daughter.

Maryz Wed 07-Nov-12 23:10:48

Why is it impossible?

It is never impossible confused.

Can you guarantee that she was not out of your sight from the beginning of June until the day she started boarding school.

And no matter what school she goes to, they get "leave out" to go to local shops, they go for walks/runs in the grounds, they meet people.

I doubt it. Unless you have a very strange relationship.

Maryz Wed 07-Nov-12 23:12:11

And, by the way, no-one is judging you or your daughter about the possible pregnancy.

You are being judged on your blinkered pomposity.


AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 23:16:18

Unless you have spent every second of every day of the last 6 months with your daughter, then you dont 'know' for sure she isn't pregnant.

abbierhodes Wed 07-Nov-12 23:16:36

Agree with MaryZ- it was the 'I'm offended you even asked' comment that got people annoyed.

lifesamystery Wed 07-Nov-12 23:17:38

Maryz from my posts you know that I mentioned that she had a friend, who is a boy, several months ago (he is still her friend) and that the gap jeans labelled with her age do not fit her. I tongue in cheek said she must be overweight because of the large number of people that posted that hey were in fact too big for their dd. If anything, she is underweight, which is why I said that I would suspect an eating disorder before pregnancy. Although in reality, I didn't suspect it, it would just be more likely.

I asked her if she had had a period since he summer as I know t was all new to her and wanted to make sure she was coping OK.

We talk lots. Perhaps a good half hour solid, one to one via Skype (normally) everyday as well as texts and emails etc. I spend most of either Saturday or Sunday with her every weekend that she doesn't come home. I suspect that hat is more than most people spend actually one to one with their teenagers as time spent with my other daughter is more often than not interrupted.

abbierhodes Wed 07-Nov-12 23:19:38

Pressed post too soon.

If you'd have simply said 'no, I can see why you'd assume she was pregnant butt it's not likely because of X,Y and Z' you'd have got far fewer comments.

Djembe Wed 07-Nov-12 23:30:54

Do you feel like people are attacking your parenting skills and the relationship you have with your daughter? Because they're really, really not.

I had a boyfriend at 14 who my parents thought I only saw very occasionally. After a day of throwing up following the morning after pill, I came clean and my mum nearly passed out in shock grin

Maryz Wed 07-Nov-12 23:31:25

I talk to my dd a lot.

We talk about boyfriends, we talk about periods, we talk about her social life. She never goes to mixed sleepovers, she is never (to my knowledge) alone with a boy.

But I'm not stupid. I don't kid myself that I know exactly what she is doing at every moment of every day. And if her periods stopped I would presume (even though as far as I know, and she has reassured me many times, that she is not sexually active) that there was at least a small possibility that she might be pregnant.

And if someone said it to me I would say "I don't think so, but I expect it might be worth checking out".

And if she was pregnant, I wouldn't be ashamed, or embarrassed, she and I would deal with it together.

Whereas your attitude of "I'm offended you think it is even remotely possible" is not how I would expect most parents to behave [baffled].

It's like the number of ds's friends' parents who say "oh, I know he doesn't drink, I've talked to him about it grin". They are, sadly, deluded.

No OP you've got muddled. The dd with the jeans who wouldn't fit is your 13yr old. The one who was 13 two weeks ago. The second of your two dds close in age. This dd - the one with the 'boy'friend is the one who was in Yr 9 last term so definately NOT 13 now and has recently moved school. The one who is 14. I can see it gets confusing.

akaemmafrost Wed 07-Nov-12 23:56:17

I went to a "good" boarding school too. The 5th formers were accommodated at a separate location and we found out later that their housemistress used to let them out at night to do their own thing till all hours. One came back pissed up with a crew cut hmm one night (eighties) and it all came out, housemistress was sacked, expulsions, big scandal......just sayin OP.

Declutterbug Thu 08-Nov-12 00:46:57

RL expert = real life expert, i.e. doctor

There are a range of possible causes. It's worth checking.

lifesamystery Thu 08-Nov-12 08:29:56

I said several pages back that perhaps I shouldn't have said that I was offended but I said it because I was. That is my prerogative and I still don't think that people needed to get on their hobby horses because I made one comment. Did get a bit confused, was trying to imply what people thought they knew about me by making assumptions. It was late and I stopped posting cos I was tired.

There is something, that all you people who think I am pompous and deluded have not considered. I have said openly that I at one point thought she may have an eating disorder. If I was that pompous I would have tried to sweep that under the carpet as well. An eating disorder is a mental illness with far reaching physical and emotional effects and can have a much greater impact on the long term future of a teenager than pregnancy. I have said that she isn't pregnant because I know she isn't. I said i considered an eating disorder because it is just very slightly possible.

Mrsjay Thu 08-Nov-12 08:33:38

If your daughter is underweight I would get her checked out they may have stopped because of her weight, get her checked out

Djembe Thu 08-Nov-12 08:52:02

I think you could do worse than reflect why you see her being pregnant as a reflection on you in any way though. She probably isn't, but if she was, it's not down to you!

lifesamystery Thu 08-Nov-12 09:06:40

I don't think her being pregnant would be a reflection on me. I would be sad, of course, if i felt that she couldnt talk to me but she can and she does. This whole thing is because for some equally sad reason people out there do not believe that it is possible to know and trust people as well as I know my family. I do feel rather sorry for those of you that think that this is so unusual!

Floggingmolly Thu 08-Nov-12 09:27:03

Her school is extremely exclusive and selective, but not for the reason any of you will be thinking.
I know it is not possible for my daughter to be pregnant, kind of like I know it is dark outside
Ah, I see. It could only happen to skanks at the local High School. You sound quite mad actually.

LineRunner Thu 08-Nov-12 09:30:11

I do feel rather sorry for those of you that think that this is so unusual!

That's terribly kind of you, ma'am.

lifesamystery Thu 08-Nov-12 09:33:08

No, it could happen to almost anyone. Income and intellect are no barriers to being pregnant. Not having the time or ability to mix with boys, however, are.

AnEerieAirOfHorror Thu 08-Nov-12 09:36:53

I would like to know what school she goes ?

If you are worried take her to the gp and get her check out dont post on mumsnet as we dont know you and we cant examine or run tests on your dd to find out way her periods have stoped.

It could be normal for her
It could be a medical reason
It she could be with child

But we dont and cant know

Take her to the gp.

Declutterbug Thu 08-Nov-12 09:37:37

Will you come back and let us know she's ok? smile

I hope it's simply one of those teenage hormone things, but there are other possibilities besides the two discussed on this thread. From here:

"When should I be concerned?
Your daughter should be checked out by a doctor such as an adolescent medicine specialist or pediatric gynecologist with expertise in figuring out menstrual problems in teens. So if your daughter hasn’t started her period by age 15 or three years after starting breast development or she has had her period before, but stops having them, or even if she’s just late, it’s always a good idea to check in with a healthcare professional."


"What complications is my daughter at risk for?
The most important thing is to figure out the cause of the late periods:
She may be fine and just a little late with regulating her periods.
She may a hormone imbalance called polycystic ovary syndrome and needs to be checked for cholesterol and diabetes.
She may have an ovary or thyroid problem and need hormones.
Or she may have low estrogen levels from excessive exercise or low weight, and may be at risk for low bone mass.
Without enough estrogen, not only do menstrual cycles stop, but also the body is prevented from being able to absorb calcium to build strong bones. This can result in low bone mass. Very little bone mass is added after you are 20 years old, which means that the teen years are very important for getting the right amount of bone for your lifetime.
Everyone (teen girls especially) needs the right balance of exercise, body weight, calcium intake, vitamin D, and estrogen levels to have healthy bones. Make sure that your daughter takes in 1200-1500 mg of calcium and vitamin D (600 units/day)."

Please do make sure she is checked out. From what you have said it's been longer than 45 days. It could be the first symptom of a whole long list of other problems that it is good to find early. It is a remote possibility, of course, but definitely worth excluding by a quick and simple gp check smile. After all, if it was an adult MN user then we would tell them to get checked, so please do the same for your dd.

lifesamystery Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:32

Perhaps I should add that she was not selected for her school on the basis of income or intellect. I am not prepared to say more about her school although I'm sure you would love to know. Suffice to say that, from the information you have already, if I were to mention the actual type of school she was at then it would narrow it down to about 40 girls in the country and given the nature of some of the more unpleasant posters here I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

AnEerieAirOfHorror Thu 08-Nov-12 09:39:24

Op there are worse things in life than being pg at 14 by the way.

Declutterbug Thu 08-Nov-12 09:42:38

lifesamystery You know your dd and we do not. However neither you (I assume?) nor we are doctors who have examined your dd. this thread has gone a bit wonky on one issue and you've been offended. Please don't let that stop you getting a professional to check you dd smile.

Floggingmolly Thu 08-Nov-12 09:43:53

If it's somewhere like the Royal Ballet School, then anorexia is not totally unlikely. I would take her to the doctor just for your own peace of mind. Whst's the harm?

Declutterbug Thu 08-Nov-12 09:44:29

PS look back through my posts and you will see I have not commented on the things that upset you at all. I think that discussion is irrelevant to the central point of this thread, which is your concern for your dd and her health.

AnEerieAirOfHorror Thu 08-Nov-12 09:55:49

Also it could be a drug to stop her periods or to delay the changes?

Or indeed too much excersie.

I would suggest getting her checked for PCOS, my periods were very irregular from the beginning, and I was diagnosed shortly after. If she did have that, and it was left, she could start getting other symptoms, such as excess hair, which would obviously be unpleasant for her.

Oh, and if it is the Royal Ballet School, the chances of an eating disorder would be very high, the pressure they're under there is immense! (sorry if this is way off the mark!)

EchoBitch Thu 08-Nov-12 10:02:15

Are you going to take her to the Doctor?

You know,just in case there is something the matter?

lifesamystery Thu 08-Nov-12 11:52:33

At the very beginning of this thread, I asked a simple question, out of ignorance and fading memory. A few kind people responded and put my mind at rest that things were probably normal. I have done research since that shows that they are likely to be correct.

For those of you that are genuinely concerned, please trust me. If she still hasn't had a period in another couple of months then I will get her checked. In the meantime, neither of us are worried and I think it is time to bow out of this conversation!

AmberLeaf Thu 08-Nov-12 13:00:12

A few kind people? and the rest of us are what?

Just because you have heard more than you wanted to, doesn't make the rest of us mean for stating the obvious!

Good luck with it all.

AnyFucker Thu 08-Nov-12 13:34:09

I must be a Jekyll and Hyde character then grin

AnyFucker Thu 08-Nov-12 13:34:37

I must be a Jekyll and Hyde character then grin

ivykaty44 Fri 09-Nov-12 12:25:34

Is that why you posted it twice?

TaggieCampbellBlack Fri 09-Nov-12 12:38:01

DD hasn't gad a period since june.

We had a text conversation...

Her- why haven't i had a period for ages

Me- you better not be bloody pregnant

Anyway. She's not but it was my first thought.
She dances and is twiggy.

sassythebloodFIRSTy Fri 09-Nov-12 12:43:27

Lol at ivykate

AnyFucker Fri 09-Nov-12 13:01:51


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