Ds1 having LOUD sex and I have had to tell them to shut up...

(134 Posts)
lilibet Sun 11-Mar-12 18:48:10


Honestly!! I love my ds1 very much but there is no 18 year old boy born who could make a girl shriek like that.

She is from the Meg Ryan school of sex noises but AMPLIFIED

I also can't beleive the brass neck of her - she faced us all afterwards without even a blush.

It's not the first time either, we weren't in a while back and dd (23) and ds2 (15) could hear her down stairs. Ds2 went and banked on the door and said "Do you mind, some of us are trying to revise" God Bless Him!!

I had a word with them then but it's not stopped them, they now can't be in his room with the door closed.

They don't prepare you for conversations like this at antenatal classes

OnlyWantsOne Sun 11-Mar-12 18:49:43



Perhaps you could text him telling him he must take after his dad with a wink face & comment how lucky the GF is

That may shame him to stop.

ahhhhhpushit Sun 11-Mar-12 18:50:59

Oh god. what a total lack of respect.

How old is she?

EssentialFattyAcid Sun 11-Mar-12 18:54:57

Make similar loud noises outside the door
That will work

PurplePidjin Sun 11-Mar-12 19:00:20

Put really embarrassing Old People Music* on and turn the volume right up - Bay City Rollers, Adam and the Ants, Bangles, that kind of thing.

Buy some ky jelly and condoms and put them somewhere obvious for them to find.

Jump up and down on your bed and make Meg Ryan noises (or sit them down to watch the film "as a family")

*I mean the kind of music that teens roll their eyes at and say "that's so saaaaad". Rolling Stones and Nirvana don't really work for this wink

lilibet Sun 11-Mar-12 19:04:51

She's 17

and faking

shoudl I tell him?

"Listen son..."

ThePathanKhansWitch Sun 11-Mar-12 19:07:47

Ah here lilibet catch yourself on and tell the two of them to feck off and get themselves another love-nest.

AThingInYourLife Sun 11-Mar-12 19:08:37

Oh how grim... blush

Still, could be worse - could be your parents grin

Bless your DS2 smile

ThePathanKhansWitch Sun 11-Mar-12 19:09:07

Or better again. Send other DC out, and you and DH precede to show them how it's done!grin

ThePathanKhansWitch Sun 11-Mar-12 19:10:22

Oh lilibet that didn't sound quite right!blush.

YKWIM, a taste of their own noisy medicine.

KWL51 Sun 11-Mar-12 19:10:47

Tell them to go to her house and see if her parents put up with it. Nothing wrong with having a sexual relationship at their age but they both need to show some respect to the other household members.

WTFlike Sun 11-Mar-12 19:11:32

That is SO wrong. Ew.

motherinferior Sun 11-Mar-12 19:12:07

grin blush grin

violetwellies Sun 11-Mar-12 19:15:52

Ask her to stop faking. .. in front of him grin

fabwoman Sun 11-Mar-12 19:19:28

How do you know she is faking?

motherinferior Sun 11-Mar-12 19:20:25

Perhaps you've raised a luuuuuuuuurve god, lilibet wink

slowginny Sun 11-Mar-12 19:20:26

Record and playback to him on your mobile. Then suggest you play it back to her parents.

Tsk, young people

KatieMiddleton Sun 11-Mar-12 19:21:02

Sit them down to talk about their noisy love-making. Make sure you refer to it as that and use it often in the conversation grin

ginmakesitallok Sun 11-Mar-12 19:21:24

Oh come on, admit it. Part of you is thinking "That's my boy!!"

Oh no. That is all sorts of wrong. I hope it isn't me posting this in 5 years time. sad

KatieMiddleton Sun 11-Mar-12 19:23:00

A good c

MistyMountainHop Sun 11-Mar-12 19:24:45

omg how embarassing


DREADS when mine get to this age

KatieMiddleton Sun 11-Mar-12 19:25:23

If you can shoe-horn in some references to you and his father "understanding the passions of the flesh" because you too "enjoy vigorous love-making" so much the better!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 11-Mar-12 19:26:06

They don't prepare you for conversations like this at antenatal classes

No, the rotten sods only prepare you for the easy bit grin

I can't believe the brass neck of them!! There's just no way on gods little green earth I could even do that now, let alone at that age <make a lot of noise with others around - the sex I can do grin>

JustHecate Sun 11-Mar-12 19:26:13

That's awful.

tbh, I'd put a stop to it. It's just not funny. I'd be knocking on the door every time they start. "Pack that in. You sound ridiculous."

Do you think they're actually messing about just to wind you up and not actually having sex at all? It is mind boggling to think that they could actually be having noisy sex, knowing you can all hear everything.

I'd be tempted to start making some noises of my own at night too. See how they like parental sex noises*. grin

*not actual sex.

piprabbit Sun 11-Mar-12 19:26:19

Have the following conversation:
"You were very noisy last night, it's a bit much to be honest. The last time I heard noises like that was when I was watching 'When Harry met Sally'. Of course, she was faking it. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think. You don't suppose? Oh, sorry. Please don't take that the wrong way, I didn't mean to suggest that either of you are faking it".

Leave them to think about it.

ggirl Sun 11-Mar-12 19:31:55

can't believe the gall of her tbh

is it just me or does it smack of disrespect

ggirl Sun 11-Mar-12 19:32:53

I mean the girlfriend being disrespectful

JustHecate Sun 11-Mar-12 19:37:41

I think they both are.

ahhhhhpushit Sun 11-Mar-12 19:40:41

Agree with JustHecate "pack that in. you sounds ridiculous". Even better get DH to do it for you. will embarass her more.

AllShiney Sun 11-Mar-12 19:44:22

Next time they're at it run up the stairs shouting OMG are you ok? And throw open the door shouting 'what's wrong? What's wrong?' and claim you thought something terrible had happened.

But I like the you sound ridiculous idea too!

JustHecate Sun 11-Mar-12 19:44:37

I suppose if you wanted to scar them for life you could gather outside the room, (got any foldaway seats) and treat them to a round of applause when they're done.

Imagine their faces when they open the bedroom door wink

(I'm kidding)

The5thFishy Sun 11-Mar-12 19:48:51

Get your husband to shout
"Go on, my son" outside the door at the vital moment.

JustHecate Sun 11-Mar-12 19:53:14

I suppose nobody in the family is crafty enough to fashion a small one of these to present her with. grin

boredandrestless Sun 11-Mar-12 19:53:30

shock I would be having harsh words with both of them. How disrespectful!

fuzzpig Sun 11-Mar-12 19:57:40

I don't know whether to be suspicious, disgusted or amused!

I do like the parental sex noises idea though.

MamaMaiasaura Sun 11-Mar-12 20:00:41

Lol grin

I recall When I was a teen staying at my bfs, his mum sent her husband to check on the dog as thought it was terribly unwell blush blush His stepdad informed me of this the following day and said he'd not let on what it actually way. I was mortified and so embarrassed blush

DizzyKipper Sun 11-Mar-12 20:04:40

Just keep a bucket of water handy... grin

FrillyMilly Sun 11-Mar-12 20:08:17

To be honest I would tell them to show some respect or she doesn't come round/go in his bedroom. I doubt her parents would put up with it. I think it's incredibly rude.

LittleAlbert Sun 11-Mar-12 20:09:21

I just reminded DP about the time his little sis (then aged 17) did a 'Sally' and woke us up. He is pretending he doesn't remember ...and is now refusing to discuss it hmm

supernannyisace Sun 11-Mar-12 20:12:02

Katie Middleton I love your comment. My DS is 14 - and I hope he never brings any girsl back here.. But if he does.. ha ha ha smile

baskingseals Sun 11-Mar-12 20:12:54

am I the only one who is thinking good for them?

at least they are enjoying themselves

Chubfuddler Sun 11-Mar-12 20:13:25

This is dreadful. Completely disrespectful to everyone else in the house. I wouldn't allow him to have her over tbh if they can't button it. Perhaps you should feign concern at whatever medical problem she clearly has and suggest you discuss it with her mother.

They think they're being clever, embarrassing everyone else with their exuberant sex life. Actually they're just being crass.

JoanRobinson2012 Sun 11-Mar-12 20:19:53

baskingseals- No you're not the only one!

LittleAlbert Sun 11-Mar-12 20:20:54

In about 10 years the girlfriend will look back and cringe

Are you totally sure they were having sex? Could it possibly have been a play fight and she was being seriously tickled??....

Snakeonaplane Sun 11-Mar-12 20:27:14

I'm blushing for all involved, I'd have quiet motherly word with her along the lines of 'I don't mind you having sex but would you mind keeping it down a bit' grin, she'll be more embarrassed than you.

oiwheresthecoffee Sun 11-Mar-12 20:33:46

Seriously when she emerges , say in front of them both that you can her her faking orgasm , do they need tips on having a real one ? Act all concerned and helpful.
Then post back and let us know.

oiwheresthecoffee Sun 11-Mar-12 20:39:45

Or bang on the door and shout " Stop faking , hes never going to learn how to do it right otherwise"

How about playing that scene from When Harry met Sally really loudly at the same time that they are getting going?

That ought to slow them down a bit <evil grin >

RabidEchidna Sun 11-Mar-12 20:44:29

LOL love the idea of sitting outside room and clapping...

Makes notes for a few years time

Oh God. I would die. And then I'd come back to life and kill them. Then I'd die again. Then I'd handle it badly through embarassment, probably cry, and afterwards feel bad for the girl who is just immature and silly and would be mortified at having her BF's mother causing a scene. But there would be a scene. I'm far to fucking English to be ok with my offspring getting loudly jiggy within earshot <shudders, bathes in bleach>

lilibet Sun 11-Mar-12 20:49:47

First time it happened (after ds2 banged on the door) I spoke to him and told him that in future they must be silent as no one wanted to hear them.

This time I waited till (ahem) afterwards and went in and blasted them both that we could hear them having sex and they needed to show us some respect. I said that for the next month they could not have the door clsoed and after that time it would be reviewed. I then said that these were now my rules and if they didn't like them they could go to her house and let her family listen to them have sex for a change.

Yes, they are having sex as I walked in on them once (when they were being quiet) and was that amazed all I managed to comment on whas how well ds1 had hoovered the carpet blush

harrietlichman Sun 11-Mar-12 20:54:12

What has the world come to?! In my day it was a in your car/in bed when parent's were out or as quiet as hunanly possible on the sofa when parents were in bed. And that's the way it should be, IMHO.

SamsGoldilocks Sun 11-Mar-12 20:54:45

hoovering the carpet - what a brilliant comment

lilibet Sun 11-Mar-12 20:57:43

Sams I stillblush when I think of it

When she stays overnight I make him sleep on the sofa - I'm wasting my time, aren't I?

EnjoyResponsibly Sun 11-Mar-12 20:57:46

Just did a an actual bit of wee at the carpet admiration comment. Genius :0 :0 :0

Isaidhangonamin Sun 11-Mar-12 21:02:03

<speechless> my DS1 went to live in Thailand for 6 months to get his "fun" wink

scummymummy Sun 11-Mar-12 21:02:56

lol @ this thread, Especially @"Pack that in. You sound ridiculous." And you commenting on your son's hoovering skills, lilibet (fnarfnar).

trikken Sun 11-Mar-12 21:03:28

Id be very embarrassed if I was the Gf. We used to try and be as quiet as humanly possible whilst still living at home. it is quite disrespectful.

Annunziata Sun 11-Mar-12 21:03:50

Oh my god!!! Actually, it's horrible and funny at the same time!

I love the applause idea.

Weird innit - that the GF doesn't care? I would be so mortified!!

RabidEchidna Sun 11-Mar-12 21:05:02

Go in with a note pad and pen and tell him you are taking notes , or better still when they come out hold up score cards and shout sevennnnnnn

Annunziata Sun 11-Mar-12 21:06:12

She must have some brass neck, I couldn't look MIL in the eye for about six months after DH and I got married!

Maryz Sun 11-Mar-12 21:08:24

I don't have to worry about this.

No self-respecting girl would ever go into ds1's room.

fabwoman Sun 11-Mar-12 21:11:52

Annunziata - I couldn't look at my MIL when she came to visit after I had had dc1 as she would know I had shagged her son since I had just had his baby grinblush. By baby 3 I didn't care!

TheSecondComing Sun 11-Mar-12 21:12:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Take the door off the hinges.

Tell them they can have it back as a moving in present on their love shack.

OR get a massive photo of yourself and hang it on his ceiling. With a stern look in your eye.

Auntiestablishment Sun 11-Mar-12 21:14:01

Maybe she's making a racket so you don't walk in on them again.

You might notice he'd not hoovered the carpet.

AnyFucker Sun 11-Mar-12 21:17:35

erm, your house is being used as a teenage sex den, complete with wild penguin noises and everybody thinks this is "funny" ?

I remember when people used to think they should be afforded some respect in their own home

OP, tell your son that when he is paying the mortgage/rent on his own place, he (and his ridiculous squealing gf) can make all the sex noises he likes, but not before then

This may be about to happen in our household as DS2 has just announced that he is in his first relationship. We have said that he is welcome to invite her over in the Uni holidays, so watch this space...

cakeismysaviour Sun 11-Mar-12 21:22:43


Don't let her go up to his room anymore and no staying over. They need to learn some respect.

AnyFucker Sun 11-Mar-12 21:25:37

my teenage dd likes to think that because she happens to live in this house, she gets to make the rules

she does not

when she gets her own place, she gets to make the rules

I suspect I will be banned from her place when she gets one (on current targets, that will be approx. in 2025)

I won't hold my breath...until then, I will not not be disrespected in my own home

mmmdanone Sun 11-Mar-12 21:36:37

Similar thing happened to us before DS1 went off to uni - his bedroom is next to ours and when his girlfriend stayed round you could hear banging headboard on wall (thankfully no sex noises from him or her) blush . I'ts hard when you realise your DC's are having a better sex life than you smile

lilibet Sun 11-Mar-12 21:36:43

Anyfucker that was more or less my speech, dd and ds2 were listening in and they said I was magnificent

Oh Yes!! Go me!!!!

AnyFucker Sun 11-Mar-12 21:44:55

grin @ magnificent

I am shocked.

Btw my bf used to have to kip on tge sofa, never stopped us wink

'Or bang on the door and shout " Stop faking , hes never going to learn how to do it right otherwise"'

^this, do this grin

snapsnap Sun 11-Mar-12 21:48:50

Why would you allow that in your home? Bizarre. My mother wouldnt have dreamed of allowing it and I certainly wouldn't.

We could stay out and questions wouldnt be asked but isnt that better.

KalSkirata Sun 11-Mar-12 21:58:42

I think I'll just get my 18 yo to read the thread. grin

Brightspark1 Sun 11-Mar-12 21:59:52

I think I would tape them and choose the right moment to play back, invite her parents over?

slowginny Sun 11-Mar-12 23:26:43

Maybe she'd put her back out...

Maybe your son is actually THAT good in which case well done you and your DH for creating such a vigorous young man, you should be proud of him for putting his girlfriend's needs so highly.

<snigger> sorry

Oblomov Mon 12-Mar-12 05:43:55

This thread is well funny. Laughing at Carpet comment. But seriously Op, what are you going to do?

OrenishI Mon 12-Mar-12 05:55:12

I feel like I'm from a different generation here (I'm not btw) but I think it just really shouldn't be happening in your house and I'm shock that you can come talk about it so blase like.

It's shows a complete lack of respect from your son and the female involved. Rather sad I think.

SilentBoob Mon 12-Mar-12 06:01:37

I once stayed over with a new boyfriend and was MORTIFIED when his mother brought us both a cup of tea in the morning. He had a single bed ffs. I had assumed that his parents were away for the weekend.

<shudder at the memory>

My own parents, by contrast, used to put dh (then dp) and I in separate rooms for 3 years after we were living together in our jointly owned house and my dad used to sit on the landing all night with his shotgun.

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Mon 12-Mar-12 06:29:54

<dusts off soap box>

Don't forget, these kids are of the generation where, despite the efforts of schools & parents, sex ed has come from internet porn.

It's actually a bit sad, really, that they both believe such a performance is necessary.

<steps down, puts soapbox back on shelf>

How about sitting them down to helpfully discuss things like lubricants & contraception. Embarrass the crap out of them & exploit the tendency towards rebellion.

theonewiththenoisychild Mon 12-Mar-12 07:44:34

Im shocked i would be mortified if my parents heard me having sex at any age even now im 25 and have 2 kids and they know ive had sex.... Its a respect thing

lilibet Mon 12-Mar-12 09:40:32

Those who are asking what am I going to do and why am I allowing it - have you read my comments on the thread?

I have spoken to ds quietly, when that didn't stop it I spoke to them both very firmly. They now cannnot be alone in his bedroom with the door closed for a montha nd then I will review the situation.

I came on here to talk about it as I was mortified at having the conversation with him and yes, I can see the funny side to it even though I have not shown those feelings to ds1 and his gf.

and with regards contraception, she is on the pill and they use condoms as well, they've been together over 6 months.

AwkwardMary Mon 12-Mar-12 09:44:16

I don't' even think it's funny....I think it shows a masssive lack of respect for not only the rest of the household but themselves!

I wouldn't let her in again!

AwkwardMary Mon 12-Mar-12 09:46:57

My DH told me that when he was about 18 he kissed a girl in the street and his Uncle saw him and bollocked him for his lack of respect to the girl....he told my DH that some things are very private and he should always be in private with a girl...if he liked her enough to kss then he should like her enough to show respect....your son needs a good telling and so does she....

LittleAlbert Mon 12-Mar-12 09:54:22

But I remember doing stupid thoughtless things in my teens and early twenties. The girlfriend is just being silly, that's no reason to start a war by banning her from the house - if op went down that road, then it would really seem that she had ishoos...

There are far, far worse things they could be doing than having a healthy enjoyable sex life.

heureuse Mon 12-Mar-12 10:10:30

Is it possible they are just chasing, tickling , jumping on bed etc
If not or until you know, just go up, and shout
"Is everything ok have you fallen or something CAN I COME IN"

fabwoman Mon 12-Mar-12 13:23:57

I would have got a total bollocking if I had had sex in the house. I was sent to Coventry when I stayed at my boyfriend's house for one night.

TheSecondComing Mon 12-Mar-12 13:50:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Byeckerslike Mon 12-Mar-12 13:56:53

Ive come to this thread late, sorry but it made me laugh my head off! Sorry op, how hideous for you. But to coin a phrase used on another thread to tone down bad behaviour between shool friends... I believe a firm 'stop showing off' would suffice! grin

OrmIrian Mon 12-Mar-12 13:57:18

I think it's brilliant they are open enough and relaxed enough with you that they have sex under your roof openly. No, I could never have done it. But that wasn't a good thing.

However the noise thing is very selfish. Offer her a gag - tell her that you and your partner really enjoy using it grin

BenderBendingRodriguez Mon 12-Mar-12 14:08:07

Agree with LittleAlbert, and actually with UnderwaterBasketWeaving as well.

I have pmsl at this thread, sorry OP. Fully expect my comeuppance in about 14 years' time.

ragged Mon 12-Mar-12 14:28:05

record them & link to the mpeg by writing on her facebook wall?
Sorry, no help.

Twit Mon 12-Mar-12 14:32:06

why not just watch When Harry met Sally with them and the rest of the family? Might make them think about the fact that they are noisy and show your DS that fake happens ?

PoppadumPreach Mon 12-Mar-12 14:35:25

do you remember the "lil' louis" song - French Kissing from the 80s?

perhaps you could play this on repeat when she is round?

(for those who don't know this song - it will become apparent around 1min 40s into the above youtube link!)

on a more serious note, she is being very disrespectful.

cakeismysaviour Mon 12-Mar-12 14:43:17

I think it sounds like you have handled the situation well, OP. You have spoken to them about it and asked them to stop it and your DS2 has asked them to be quiet too. The fact that they continued after your talk is very disrespectful, but hopefully the 'no closed door' policy will work better!

If they go back to being this disrespectful after this, than I would be saying that she can't stay over and can't go up to his room. She can still be welcome in your home, but she can stay in the family rooms.

SebastionTheCrab Wed 14-Mar-12 12:59:02

I also agree that the OP has handled the situation well and I agree with all the above cakeismysaviour has said.
Also as a previous poster has said it is sad that teenagers today know so much about sex through the porn industry. Thinking that that is normal sexual behaviour (obviously it may be normal for some) is very depressing and puts a lot of undue pressure on teenagers. Christ, there was enough pressure when we were teenagers!

jshibbyr Thu 15-Mar-12 22:26:58

what happened to the bloke covering your mouth with something, tbh i'd completely embarace them, scare her off and not let her round... thats what my dad did to one of my ex's and well that was just for being in the same bed let alone actually doing it, after that i did it while he was out, and also did the same for going round his (that was the boyfriend afterward) its purely out of respect and i didn't want to upset my dad, granted my ex's mum did walk in while we were doing naughty things but she laughed and then had a quiet word with him after i left to wait till she wasn't there :P
i wouldn't let him have the girl round unless they promise to do it when the house is empty or do it in a field explain its very disrespectful and he wouldn't like it if you were making loud sex (most embarassing thing ever hearing your parents)
if they start making noises burst in on them (if theres a lock on the door take it off)

mockingjay Fri 16-Mar-12 03:28:10

none of your business unless they make it so, the secondcoming!

TotallyLaLa Fri 16-Mar-12 11:09:21

I've been having a bad day but looking at this thread has actually made me laugh out loud at my pc (sorry OP blush ). I now think that I may need to invest in some Tena Ladies when I come on here grin grin grin

Oh god - this is going to come back to haunt me as am dreading the day this could actually happen to me.

PS - ANy chance your DS could come show my DS how to use the hoover???? hmm

I think you're being very graceful under fire, OP. smile You're sensible about it, have laid down ground-rules and you know they're using contraception. I think it's great that they have somewhere safe and legal to go. Shame they had to spoil it all with faked orgasms. grin

FluffyBunnyWunnyMummyKins Fri 16-Mar-12 17:08:44

Start blasting Barry White whenever she comes over...


Gigondas Fri 16-Mar-12 17:12:53

This is brilliant grin

chocolateandcoffee Fri 16-Mar-12 17:26:19

this thread is brilliant, Really cheered up a crap day.

I agree with brightspark record them and play it very loudly when they are around.

OMG how mortifying for you.

DH and I are in out 30s and wont have sex if we stay at ILs place, it's just disrespectful. Having said that, MIL (god bless her) got pissed at Christmas and pulled me and SIL aside and told us that she was happy for us to have sex, we mustn't be worried about offending them etc etc. I could have died blush

How do they have the brass neck to do it, and loudly? Blimey.

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 16-Mar-12 19:45:18

The fact that they are 17 and 18 having sex under my roof wouldn't bother me I don't think (she says with ds only 7!) But the disrespect when you have already asked them to be quiet about it would get to me.

helenthemadex Fri 16-Mar-12 22:56:38

I have to say Im quite impressed with gf, I was a lot older before I learnt to fake it grin

rinabean Fri 16-Mar-12 23:07:30

God there are some prudes on this thread. I didn't know the victorians had internet access - or time machines.

Yes, you don't want to hear them have sex. Tell them to do what they'll have to do if they ever move into a flat of their own - put some music on.

I can't believe all these references to "the female" (wouldn't be surprised if these are mothers of sons who'll be posting soon, if not already, about how their meanie DILs hate them and they don't know why) and how she's "faking it" (some women have real orgasms even when young, does it make you that envious?) and how to threaten her with telling her mother (because she's a woman enjoying sex and that's shameful and she should be terrified that her parents will know? wtf?)

What miserable sex lives you must have if the idea of people having good sex annoys you, not simply the prospect of hearing it when you don't want to. Really pathetic.

stleger Fri 16-Mar-12 23:31:08

I agree with rinabean. I find the 'ridiculous girlfriend' comments fairly disrespectful. I have a 20 year old ds, and an 18 year old dd1, and try to remember they are adults; and it will be a long time before they can afford to move out permanently.

totallypearshaped Fri 16-Mar-12 23:46:50

Watch 'Easy A', with Emma Stone - very funny 'sex' scene in that - lots of wailing.... could they be just winding you up!?

totallypearshaped Fri 16-Mar-12 23:50:44

I agree with rinabean and stledger who say that it's very disrespectful of posters to call the 18 yo woman a 'ridiculous girlfriend. She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Watch out tsk-ing posters, you are turning into mother in laws from hell.

suburbophobe Sat 17-Mar-12 00:05:39

She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Well, if she's having screaming sex she should deal with it in her OWN home!

Very disrespectful to be like that in someone else's house with other occupants there, in my view.
ESPECIALLY at your boyfriend's parents house FFS! (has she no shame?!).

I am talking as a single mum of a 20 year old who often had his girlfriend over for the night. Never no disrespect to the others in the building.

Sounds like she's showing off.

You could always tell her she's setting herself up to be the laughing stock around town soon enough... grin

totallypearshaped Sat 17-Mar-12 00:16:46

Well that's the point suburbophole - she has no shame - and why should she have any? And why are women posters here saying she should... it makes no sense to me unless they think sex is a shameful thing and she must be faking it (like they do).
Maybe it's envy for her enthusiasm and energy! She's enjoying herself, is that such a bad thing? Do you really begrudge her that experience? or should she hang her head in shame and never have an orgasm and put up with a shit lover who gives her a quick one in the bus shelter?

fabwoman Sat 17-Mar-12 17:58:48

Come off it! hmm

You are being ridiculous now saying some posters are faking it.

No one needs or wants to hear anyone else having sex and it is good manners to keep the noise down when others are in the house.

She is being silly and ridiculous as she is coming across as immature as she hasn't learnt manners about staying reasonably quiet when you are shagging in someone elses house.

stleger Sat 17-Mar-12 18:37:07

Maybe the immaturity and inexperience is to do with being 18?

Tortington Sat 17-Mar-12 18:40:42

ive had this conversation with ds2.

i literally shouted upstairs " shut the fuck up" and then later i said to DS " if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy"

CalamityKate Sat 17-Mar-12 18:40:56

I think it's disrespectful of both of them and TBH if you've had a word and they're still doing it, it smacks of attention-seeking.

I think any mention of it, other than making it clear that they need to go elsewhere or wait until the house is empty, will delight them.

HOMEMADECHUTNEY Sun 18-Mar-12 00:35:25

Can't believe the brass neck of the girlfriend, or your son. Struggling to imagine what situation would actually embarrass them!

The utter lack of respect is mind-boggling.

BitchyNoMore Sun 18-Mar-12 01:42:39

if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy" grin

empirestateofmind Sun 18-Mar-12 01:54:32

I agree with CalamityKate and Chutney that is is the reaction to your very reasonable request that is outrageous, not the original behaviour.

lilmamma Wed 21-Mar-12 22:40:59

I think its an age thing,i was woken the other night with the headboard going,god help next door as it was banging on their wall,but saying that they are just as bad.it was my dd and her boyfriend,i was mortified,but they are both 18 and i supose its only natural..

Next morning i said to them,hope the headbard is still in one piece and walked out,they both looked at me with :O espressions smile

nizlopi Fri 23-Mar-12 11:50:23

Seems like a waste to make sex noises without having sex.

teapot5 Sat 24-Mar-12 00:45:11

I LOVE this thread. We are going through a really shxx time at the moment with DD1 (17) seriously wanting to move out (SS, CAMHS, GP - you name it - everybody involved now) and DD2 is hurt, upset, blaming us and thus playing up big time. It's all very upsetting and sad.

Anyway this thread makes me laugh. Thank you!!

flow4 Sat 24-Mar-12 03:57:15

Lilibet, it sounds like you (and your other kids) are handling a tricky situation well enough. smile

Like you say, there is no preparation for these things... I walked in on a half-naked stranger/girl in my bathroom a fortnight ago. I backed out, and when she came out and introduced herself, the best I could manage was "Pleased to meet you, Amy". When my half-naked son followed, all I could think of saying to him was "Is she 16 and have you got condoms?" confused

You just have to improvise best you can, dontcha?!

As for those of you taking the "has she no shame?" line here, I'd say "NO, and GOOD for her"! Why would you want her - or them - to have shame, fgs? You want them to have a bit more consideration, that's all - not shame!

Btw, she may not be faking it OP. I was lucky enough to enjoy sex as a teen, and I definitely remember being shushed by my embarrassed boyfriend in his bed. It was very, very difficult to be quiet, and it took me a while to learn... If you're respectful towards her, as my boyfriend's mum was towards me, she'll try to return the favour smile

mathanxiety Sat 24-Mar-12 04:55:19

'I don't have to worry about this.
No self-respecting girl would ever go into ds1's room.'

As this thread shows, it's the ones with no self respect you need to worry about, Maryz.

OP, when you gave your DS permission to have sex under your roof you lost this game. They need to get a room of their own and pay for it. Motels are reasonably sound proofed. Having to wait until you have a bed in a bedroom you rent to do your courting in is a really good way to motivate older teens. The DCs' sex life is none of my business and conducting it elsewhere keeps it that way.

DaSmallPunsMum Tue 10-Apr-12 01:19:50

Why not just speak to her about it woman to woman, that would surely be more embarrassing and freak her out enough to stop.

DaSmallPunsMum Tue 10-Apr-12 01:21:58

@mathanxiety I disagree, it makes no sense to teach your sons or daughters that sex is something unnatural or 'rude' enough that they have to do it in some seedy motel or send a weird message by it being ok to do at their girlfriend or boyfriends house but not at yours. It's just about communicating about noise and about not doing it if anyone is in.

DaSmallPunsMum Tue 10-Apr-12 01:24:48

I disagree with MarthaAnxiety, it makes no sense to teach your sons or daughters that sex is something unnatural or 'rude' enough that they have to do it in some seedy motel or send a weird message by it being ok to do at their girlfriend or boyfriends house but not at yours. It's just about communicating about noise and about not doing it if anyone is in.

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