How much do you spend on your teens christmas and birthday presents?(68 Posts)
Same as I did when she was younger?
DD is an only child. It varies a bit from year to year, like one Christmas she had a laptop which was about £600, and last year she had a straightener and hair dryer set which came to about £250. Will usually get a nice item of clothing (branded jumper, or shoes), a perfume set and I'll do a stocking of smellies/underwear/essentials for her too.
Birthdays I'll usually spend around abouts the same. Got her a Tiffany necklace and some clothes and smellies. Seems like I spend the most on my child out of all my friends/siblings- but I don't begrudge her of anything as she had a saturday job since she was 13 and buys me and DH lovely presents, that are very expensive compared to some of my friends whose DCs just get them a box of chocolates and a christmas card.
I know that it's the thought that counts, but I don't mind spoiling her on birthdays/christmas because she buys for all of the family out of her own wages, spends ages wrapping them nice and is generally thoughtful
Birthday - about £40.
Xmas - £40 main present, and about £30 of little presents.
Christmas - about £200 each child between me and DH for everything, Birthdays, £100 present + £100 on outing/treat - again split between me and DH
Depends what they need, both my teenagers are doing d of e awards sohave had walking boots and jackets for birthdays about £200each and probably £150 for xmas,easily probably more when a ds game and dvds are added. They have 2 younger brothers who probably get the same amount, its crazy when its all added up.
Depends what they want but less than I can afford. That's it.
A lot more than when she was smaller, but it is stuff which is really useful and will last for years (moped, laptop, camera) or something which she is desperate to do and which I wouldn't fork out for in the normal scheme of things (skiing holiday to Switzerland with school)
I'm so sorry for posting such a boring repetitive post.
I quite frankly couldn't give two hoots what 'anyone else thinks' however we're having trouble with a teen who despite knowing that we are having a struggle this year money wise, despite having had it laid on the line just what the situation is, still expects us to conjure up all of her wishes. Her birthday and xmas are very close together and even since the convo yesterday morning where we told her we just have very little money, she is asking for near enough £700 of presents and party, and thinks that it's a completely reasonable amount to ask for. She's going to be disappointed, unfortunately
Notjustme - not all of us have been on here for years and heard it all before!
I think these sort of threads are quite useful to help you work out if you are being reasonable or just plain mad - you can't rely on what your children say about "everyone else" FWIW my sons' friends vary from those who have comparatively little spent on them to those who get quite large handouts ( though mainly from affluent grandparents, not parents) If the only things a child actually wants are hugely expensive I think there is a problem, a well chosen book, some art stuff, odd bits of quirky clothing or something individual that you think about a lot before buying are the sort of things that really bring the most pleasure. ( Or should). I once worked for a very wealthy man who had five children, all privately educated, his 11 year old daughter had a hamster that died, and I asked if he was going to replace it, he said only if she worked for it.
700 quid! Wow, she is definitely BU .
One rule of thumb I like is not to spend more than 1.5% of your annual income on Christmas (food, all gifts, etc.)
Don't know who else you're buying for, OP, but a 700 quid spend on a single child would be 2.5% of a 28k income, already too much for most households.
I spend a little over that - but I do some ebaying in the autumn which usually makes about £200 or so that goes into the kitty.
I answered you honestly.
I don't spend more than I can afford.
If my teenager expected me to spend more that we can afford, the answer is really simple. Tough.
And to be honest, if you explain your predicament rather than just saying 'that's it really' then we can answer accordingly without assuming that this is one of the 100s of 'ooh, how much do you spend on a three year old and five year old and a poodle' threads
And I never, ever, ever parent according to what my children tell me that everyone else gets/does/buys.
That way madness lies.
i think these threads are useful. its a fairly innocuous thread...at first glance. Is it a full moon or something becuase every body wants a row all the fucking time.
we always spent £100 each for xmas. when they reach 18 they get £50
this is not to do with them being 18 but more to do with 2 of them have moved out and have long term partners so - we spend on them too.
so there you are i have three kids who are 18 and over and they get £50 each worth of stuff at xmas
That percentage idea is a good one, ragged
How many people, had I posted saying the full story, would have simply replied 'oh, your teen is BU, spend what you can afford'. I was interested in an unbiased answer not based on my predicament, not a thread full of ego smoothing about the fact that our teen wants more money than we can spend and aren't we unlucky that we have an unreasonable teen.
I don't remember saying anything about it being about what she says other parents spend - she hasn't mentioned any other friends/parents, it's her own expectation. In fact, she quite happily admits that she has it good compared to some of her friends, but still doesn't seem to apply that knowledge and calm the expectation when she knows it's a struggle to provide her with what she's 'used to'.
Anyway, thanks for the replies, as I've already said - she's going to be disappointed but at least I can spout the 1.5% income rule at her when she throws a fit
Custardo - her older sister also gets less money spent now that she is an adult and working full time, she brings in more money than we do some weeks!! She accepts it just fine and is much more gracious about it than DD2.
Around about £100 to £150 that includes main present and stocking fillers.
I wasn't ego smoothing. There are loads of difficult things about parenting teens. But the money/spend thing has always been pretty straightforward for me because my dc are so different. I try and get what they want but it has to be within what we consider reasonable - and that itself can vary from year to year.
So my answer was honest. I would never jeopardise our finances by spending more than we can afford and if my reenact couldn't understand that, they wouldcstill have to accept it. We were evicted from our home when I was a child so debt is non negotiable.
And my comments about parenting according to what your teen tells you that their friends do/get was in response to Higgle. Because teens fib <<shocker>>
I wasn't looking to be arsy. If my post read like that I apologise.
But I wouldn't have responded more abruptly if you had explained your dilemma. I would have responded as I did above - that I can't tolerate needless debt and my dc have had to understand this since they were small. It is one of those childhood experiences that coloured how I parent.
Blimey Pagwatch, if there's anything I was sure of it was that you weren't ego smoothing. No one has, I just didn't want to encourage it by whinging on about my teen in the OP.
I seem to be all out of kilter on here just now.
But moaning about teens is one thing we can all unite behind, surely?
Do you ever combine Birthday-Xmas gifts into one, NotJustMe? I know some people think that's sacrilegious, but by the time I was a teen I saw it as a huge bonus if I could get a single much nicer thing than 2 lesser presents. And my birthday is in September!
Though I still think 700 even as a combined gift, but if you offered 350 as combined gift & they had to raise the other 350 on their own (babysitting, jobs, saving pocket money, other Xmas/birthday money, etc.), that starts to enter the realm of plausibility for some households.
oops, lost a few words, should read "...700 even as a combined gift is a huge amount to spend"
Have you told her OP that you cannot afford it, and she has a limit of x amount, and you simply cannot go over that? She is old enough to know about the realities of life.
It is a bugger when a borthday is so close to Christmas (my dd's birthday is on 14th Dec) - re the party, could you suggest that because it is such a crap time to have a birthday, you will have a midway birthday party in the summer?
But don't feel guilty. State the facts to her, and if she wants to rant and moan, be no nonsesne and tell her that is just as it is.
Ragged - I used to loathe the whole idea of combined gifts, but dd actively promotes the idea now, as she gets a bigger combined present.
I have 3 teens with birthdays before Christmas including a 16th and an 18th. Didn't plan that well, did I? No-one's asked for anything yet... If we think it's a good idea and that they'll look after it, we'll buy it. Would never ever consider going into debt or doing without things we need to keep them happy though. I will just say no if I think it's a rubbish idea though.
I am stressing a bit about this. Dh works in sales and due to some accounting error it may look like he is not getting his bonus (or as much). We also no longer have credit cards, overdrafts or loans, so what we have is what we have. I have a 16, 12 and 5 year old, but it is dd's birthday mid december.
She has had a crappy phone for ages and never asks for anything. She has also been really poorly lately and said she would like an iphone 4. Sigh. This is a bit out of my reach. I would normally do about £250 on each child for their birthday but this is making me wince.
I am already looking at stuff to eBay to raise the money to get her what she wants. Some of you seem very strict on the present front and I wonder how come nearly everyone I know gives their children so much stuff at christmas/birthdays.
my sons bestfriend is an only child and they have a reasonable income, but he gets what he what he wants when he wants and my son is always coming home saying his friend has this T shirt or this pair of shoes or this gadget...
It's hard isnt it?
I saw someone on a thread the other day with two teens with birthdays on 24th and 26th December.
Ragged - we never have done before now but we have given it to her as an option - i.e. she says she wants a laptop, which we can just about stretch to if she has it as a joint xmas and birthday present and not a lot else this year, but not if she isn't willing to combine them. But she didn't like that idea and is now 'thinking' about what she wants to do. Needless to say there is no chance at all of her getting the party idea she wanted and I almost laughed when she had the guts to ask for it not more than 4 hrs after we had told her it was tight this year.
She has always been one of those 'my pile of presents isn't as big as DD1s pile' teens which has been encouraged by DD1 as she is considerably older so when DD2 was young DD1 was a spiteful teen who would specifically count, and make sure that she held back on opening her presents so she'd have some left when DD2 was finished. Now it's DD2's turn to be that teen...oh the joy.
Dh and I spend on our children what our parents spent on us when we were children.
Christmas - one week of dh's wages.
Birthday's - one week of my wages.
Easter - when the were small, something for the garden, now something which is activity based, ie this year dd who is 17 and whose feet have stopped growing got a good pair of wellies.
I have 2 dds - 16 and 14. We normally spend about 100 pounds each on them for Christmas, unless buying them a 'bigger' gift to sahre, as we did they year they had a Wii for example (although that was a present to the whole family really).
This year dd1 has said she'd rather have one more expensive gift than lots of smaller ones, although what she wants is an i-pod and I just can't see how 150 quid can be justified on something that just plays music (she's already got a Shuffle) so tbh, she will probably not get it.
DD2 wants a new guitar but I haven't even dared look how much they cost!
Birthdays - around 40 each, usually. But they may get new shoes or a new coat too, if needed at that time.
Apologies for typo-filled post.
Remus - I think an Ipad touch is a brilliant idea, it plays music, but also can connect to the internet with wifi. DD loves hers, she used to have a classic, and then sold it and bought an itouch, which she is a lot happier with. You can also use it as a camera and watch videos on it, and record vidoes and go on face time.
Guitars will cost in the region of £100 - £150 new, but you can get a far better quakity second hand one for that as well, well worth looking in a local music shop.
I didn't mean to type ipad - meant itouch.
Thanks Getorf. I just can't get my head around the cost of I-Pod-type things!
Mine generally get 20 pounds birthday.. and 100 pounds at xmas until they turn 18 then they are down to 50 pounds, they are all over 16 so they dont ask for anything apart from the money so they can do the jan sales .. its not nice having to sit and watch them open an envelope with money in, so i do the stocking fillers too.. socks, undies, smellys etc
My DDs get up to £40 each spent on them for birthdays, £60 for Christmas, they are 9 and 10.
Usually £50 birthday (+ party) and £200 Xmas (+stocking filler). Quite happy to bump up birthday if party forgone - they know maximum budget and that's it. We have often pooled parents/grandparents/uncles etc money together for 1 big present.
Dd has just had her 15th birthday, which I felt was a slightly bigger one than usual; the next biggie will be her 18th. Her presents were:
voucher for a return ticket to London and cheap on-the-day-theatre ticket/fringe theatre ticket (prepared to spend up to £30 on this)=total of c. £45
2 DVDS- total of c. £ 10
3 books- total of c. £40
1 CD- c. £10
total sum of c. £105
For Christmas she will get a slightly cheaper mix of books and DVDs, probably to a sum of c. £ 50-75.
But this is not a deliberate exercise in economy; it is a pragmatic balance of what she actually wants/needs and what the family budget can take at any one moment in time. If there was something big she really needed and we could afford it I would buy it, but not if we can't afford it or just for the sake of spending enough money.
We'll probably spend around £50-£70 on main present, plus £30 on stocking fillers, and bits and pieces. My eldest son wants an Ipod touch, so as his birthday is in December, may do a combined present (first time ever).
one thing I have always been anxious to drum into dcs is that you can put anything you like on your wishlist and needn't feel guilty about it, but nobody else should feel guilty either if it doesn't materialise
my dn always used to put a pony on hers, even years after she had really stopped wanting one- it became a family joke in the end
but sometimes it has been possible to manage something slightly out of the ordinary by getting relatives to club together or combining presents or giving money towards something rather than the whole thing
so nobody should feel resentful just from looking at somebody else's wishlist
fortunately, dd's friends come from very mixed economic circumstances (from nearly on breadline to very comfortably off indeed) so there is a tacit agreement that nobody gets criticised over the choice or outlay of their birthday celebrations: you can have anything from buying your friends a hamburger at McDonalds and walking round the shops together to a full blown party
they seem very nice friends
£50 each for each. They generally ask for it in cash and take it traight to the computer games shop.
So out of 10 people that admited how much they spent.
It works out at about £73.00 per child
I opt out of buying anything other than stocking fillers at Christmas, as dh loves choosing cool gadgets for ds. So last yr an ipad, yr before surround sound system for ds's room, yr before, big council house telly , yr before PS3.
I stress about the birthday present but leave dh to have fun buying and paying for the xmas present. I think the usual cost is about £500 or so.
So I worked out the average spends per child at Christmas from the posts, it came to £73.00 which shocked the socks of me and DH.
We spend a week of dh's wages on our children every christmas, because thats what our parents did for us (about £450.00 per child)
Both of us work, although we go on holiday's and have days out we don't spend for the sake of spending on our kids during the year.
So I want to know do you spend on your children during the year?
Diss me if you want, frankly I don't care, dh and I don't smoke, don't drink and rarely go out in the evenings, we are either at work or with our kids.
I can hear your brains working, how can you spend that much on a child every year
DD - 2010, a bracelet and cash. 2009, a good camera. 2008, a new laptop. 2007, Tv and Dvd combo.
DS - 2010, a PS3. 2009, a new bike. 2008, a new laptop. 2007, a Tv and Dvd Combo.
probably about £70 on christmas but may be more this year. Things like I pods are so expensive and then if i buy DS one. Have to spend equivalent on others.
then probably £100 to £120 but cannot really afford it as my dd's 18th is just before so v expensive time.
Why would anyone want to diss you, Saffron? Haven't most of us said we are spending what fits in with our family budget? Does that imply any criticism of other people's budgets?
If we spent a week's income on each of our dcs, we couldn't afford the trip abroad in the summer to meet up with grandparents and cousins, which matters a lot more to our dcs than having a TV in their room. We are both spending on our children, it's just that some things don't wrap so easily.
My dcs both have a montly allowance (£10/month in Yr 7 rising to £15 in Yr 11) so yes, we do spend that on them during the year. And we pay dd's drama class. Don't buy a lot of things but that is because of saving for the holiday.
Oh we could afford to spend more than we do - but we choose not to.
DD2 goes to Drama classes every week; both girls get a small allowance each month; we pay for holidays and day trips etc - but we don't genrally buy into all the expensive gadgetry stuff. And I don't like Tvs in bedrooms - so they haven't got them.
Too much tbh, but then we don't do holidays or anything really, so i don't mind spending a bit more.
Dd1 just had her 14th and she had an ipanda (£52), dvd's (£12), make up (£10) and I paid for her and some friends to have a meal out.
We do splash out a bit at Christmas but then we don't spend a lot during the year. We have one cheap UK holiday and if there's anything that ds wants he has to earn it and pay for it himself.
Ds is home educated so we spend on educational stuff as and when needed and I have to draw that line so he doesn't feel he's getting work stuff as presents, iykwim.
This Christmas he's getting an xbox Kinect - ideally it would be a family present but as we've only got one kid he either gets it for himself or not at all. Tbh he's getting it for social reasons, for his mates to come round and play, rather than any need of ours to give him the latest kit. Other than that he's getting a few books and tat for his stocking. He's 13 (tomorrow ).
Birthdays are much more low key. He'll be getting a book and cd and I'm paying for him to take four friends bowling, then they're coming back here for pizzas. Not a big deal but he knows that if he's getting a 'party' he won't get much in gifts.
No tv in the bedroom here either, a basic phone (which he pays for himself), limited games etc. There are only so many hours in the day after all and I like to see him occasionally .
We make a massive fuss of Xmas (about £250 - £300 per kid) and Birthdays are a much lower key affair (£50) - not sure why we do it this way ... just what my parents did to me i guess.
(I'm Saffron btw)
I suppose I thought people would critise what I spend on my children at christmas because it has happened at work. For example I now never discuss what I spend at christmas with my work collegues, but, I would with my next door neighbour (who I rarely speak too) because, I know that she will be spending the same amount on her children, as will 90% of the familys in our village.
Really interested in this thread, because some mums I know spend ridiculous amounts at Christmas and their children can't even enjoy all the stuff they are getting. We spend around £100 on the older ones, all in, and less on the younger ones. To keep things fair, we get a main present and then something to eat, something to wear and something to read for each child. The price of the last two can vary greatly but they don't seem to notice!
mine are getting laptops this year so about 500 each but dd1 was more expensive than dd2s they have a few smelly sets and sweets and thats it
Birthdays are never more than 50 unless it is a special birthday 13/16 and 18 dd got a lot spent on her ,
Heading towards thinking £0 would be about right.
Interesting thread. I have 4 kids - 3 of whom are teens. DD2 was 15 this week and DD1 is 16 just after Xmas. My ball park figure is £100 per child. And £50 for birthdays. However my 13 year old DS is going skiing in January, so his Xmas stuff will be a bit less.
I have twins who turned 12 last week, I spent approx £70 on them for the gifts, which was more than I have spent in last few years, but they both needed musical instruments, which, even 2nd hand, were expensive. I have also organised a party in the new year, which is £70 , but that's for hire of the local pool and they can have 15 guests each. They haven't had a party for 4 yrs, and I had promised to do something this year. For Christmas I have spent £120 total on each child, which again is more than usual, but they are getting reconditione laptops, which they need for school work. They both know money is a bit tight, and are both happy to have "recycled" gifts, ( they had iPods off eBay last year). I hope next year will be a little less expensive, but, again, if I need to, the gifts will be reconditioned or nearly new.
I make sure my teens have a few surprises and quite a few parcels to open. I don't really want to add up the amount, there is no need. I don't have a budget but just try to get each of them a nice pile of pressies.
Neither of them want anything for Christmas or need anything in particular so that makes it harder, I have had to wrack my brains.
Hi. Newbie here. I simply searched Google asking for the average spend for a teenagers birthday? Anyway, now you're all stuck with me lol. I think I've gone over board BUT..... I've bought my daughter a Nexus 7 tablet and case plus a couple of books - £200. She is an avid reader and a habit that I encourage but books, especially the latest teenage ones are generally not available at car boots or eBay so I sort of see it as an investment. EBooks, many are free, are certainly cheaper to buy than from your typical book stores. THEN.... I'm taking her and 3 of her school friends to Camp Hill for the day which is costing me £165 plus picnic and petrol.
In my mind, she will have a birthday to remember for years to come and a piece of technology that will help her in her final years of study.
To add to the above, our extended family is dysfunctional to say the least, so what I do on the day, other than gift tokens from my aunt and my dads family, what makes her birthday special will be done by me. My bro is great. He may take on the expense of the tablet but he may not..... We do not live near family, so her birthday is really what I make it.
Your thoughts are? Bigggggggggg sigh!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to spoil her but worry that maybe I am. Have a gone over board. Am I spoiling her?
Ps. She gets £40 a month pocket money. She buys her own clothes except essentials. I buy underwear, school uniform etc. She buys the fashion stuff and usually from Primark. I also pay for her phone which I think is a necessity these days.
I don't think the amount as such spoils them. If you have a grateful teen who really appreciates what you get for them then I don't think you need to worry.
The minute one of my teens starts to get at all demanding or entitled or moan that other people have x y z and theirs isn't enough....I know that's a sign to start giving them a little less
Hi we bought my 7 year old a tablet for his birthday but he did not have a party which would have totalled approx £200.00 anyway.
We are living on a very tight budget now having spent over the years and I have been known to spend £500 on a paintballing party!
I think it depends on the child. My daughter's birthday was yesterday (14) and she got £105.00 worth of stuff and was over the moon with all her bits and pieces.
I quite like the fact that my children are no longer spoilt!!
Not sure ive helped at all just thought I would respond lol
ds2 turns 17 on Tuesday. We've spent £41 to get him CDs and blank tape cassettes. The 5 presents will be split between us all, one from ds1, one from ds3, one from me and one from dh - oh plus the price of the wrapping paper - no card tho, he hates them.
Hmmm, we are very fortunate not to have to think about budget, I realise we are lucky so please don't flame me. Ds is at 6th form and where we live overseas it isn't possible for him to have a job. So we buy what he wants/needs and he knows he is lucky. However he does do volunteer work and has done for the last 5 years.
We have virtually no family so he gets cash 50gbp from his grandparents and nothing from anyone except us. He will be 18 next term and will get a new laptop. Dh and I disagree over this I would rather he had the new laptop for 19th birthday when he starts uni (September baby) as I think 4 years it will fairly out of date. I will also buy him a watch to keep, approx 150gbp. I would love to buy something like a Cartier tank but that is unreasonable in my mind, although we could - probably- afford it. Last Christmas he had a new iPod classic, his choice, his old one died after 5 years and a morph suit. He also has an iPhone 5 and a go pro camera. For last years birthday he had a miansi braclet leather and silver, about 50gbp. He writes a very popular blog (currently no money in it but soon) and he uses his phone for that. The go pro camera he uses again for his blog, when he is running, sailing, volunteering, etc.
He hasn't asked for anything else but to be honest if he NEEDED it I would probably buy it. So he doesn't have an iPad or tv in his room. I don't buy computer games for him and to be honest he has very little time to play. We are happy with how it works for us.
Love to spoil my 3 at christmas and birthday's, do not have a set amount just try and get them what I think they will like. Just love to see there little face's on christmas morning. Other than clothes, book's and £2.00 pocket money each every week, they do not get much else unless they need it. My 2 ds's are 8 ,5 and dd is7 years.
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