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Advice on DD (18) weight issues (long sorry)

5 replies

ptiger · 21/04/2010 20:39

My DD is 18 academically very bright, hoping to go to uni to study chemistry. The problem is she is 16 and a half stone, she doesn't see it as a problem, however a few weeks ago she dislocated her knee and the doctor told her she really needed to lose the weight.

Its not her diet, the doctor said it was fine its the fact she does no exercise at all, when she is not at school she is in her pyjamas, watching tv or doing school work. or lying in bed on the lap top she got in Feb for her 18th. I have tried to encourage her to go out with her friends, walk with me. i have been trying to get her to get a job for the last few years thinking seeing her friends get jobs would encourage her but no luck.
She was upset after the visit to the doctor and i thought finally she will think differently but no. We have an exercise bike and she used to ride it without any prompting when she was 16 but she just stopped. Thankfully her blood pressure is fine and she is not diabetic but watching your child doing what you know is damaging is difficult but at her age what can I do? Any advice would be very welcome as I can only see her getting bigger

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iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 21/04/2010 21:20

i really sympathise, as it is really hard to accept her choices in this respect, especially as in all other ways she is doing all that is asked of her academically and as you haven't mentioned it,I assume not behaving 'badly'.

Would you be able to fund a gym membership? or perhaps the GP offers gym prescription (I know ours does)

Also could she have polycystic ovaries as this can cause weight retention?
It may also be worth ruling out other medical causes such as thyroid issues.

I'd also be tempted to avoid even well intentioned nagging over this issue we all know, nagging doesn't work.

Finally Slimming world offers support for young people and their plans are easy to fit into family meals.(I've just started and it's going well )

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doughnutty · 21/04/2010 21:33

I was probably around the same size at the same age for the same reasons. I found socialising with schoolfriends traumatic because we'd go where people who made me feel bad about my size would be.
When she gets to uni she'll lose that baggage, make new friends and spend a lot of time in clubs dancing till the wee small hours. Even if she does what all students do and drinks loads eats badly the weight will come off.
Best not make a big deal of it. She knows what she weighs and it probably upsets her more than you realise esp if it's being pointed out to her that she needs to lose some.
When it does happen make sure you are very complimentary about it. No one ever told me how great I looked and I never believed that I did look good till years later when the weight had piled back on and I was looking at old photos. I wasted a lot of time feeling bad about myself and now I would kill to look like that.

Sorry - what a long post

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iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 21/04/2010 22:25

I meant to add DD1 is in her second year at uni and has dropped around 2 dress sizes as she now goes swimming most days and is in charge of all her meals, so enjoys making healthy stuff (lots of fish, fruit and veg)

I'm sure you've already done this, but make sure she knows how to cook stuff for herself that doesn't rely on ready meals and takeaways.

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Crapweasel · 21/04/2010 22:31

Is her diet really OK? I do find it hard to believe that someone can reach that weight (even with a very sedentary lifestyle) on a standard calorie diet.

She may eat the right stuff (which I guess is what the Dr asked you about?) but is she eating too much of it?

Absolutely up the exercise but I would look at her diet as well. Even small changes (one less 200 calorie "healthy" snack a day) could make a big difference.

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ptiger · 30/04/2010 21:02

thanks for all the advice, her diet isn't bad, and her portions are the same as her brothers, in fact he eats more as he gets a cooked lunch and pudding at school, she has a sandwich, fruit, or maybe a muller yoghurt. I am a member of a gym and have offered. Its good to know that other DDs changed when they started uni. I know about the thyroid problem, I had to have mine removed and take medication, so that is something we keep an eye on. thanks again

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