How much time do you let your teens be on computers and what else do they do when they're not on them.

[buttons99]

I am wondering if I am being unrealitstic in my expectations now my children are a bit older, and so thought I would start this thread to see what other families are like.

I have ss aged 20, ds aged 15, dd aged 13, sd aged 11 and dd aged 10, and the time they spend on computers ie facebook, msn and/or the time spent on computer related games ie ds's, xbox is more than I feel comfortable with....but what amount of time do other peoples children spend? and what do they do when they are not on them.

I want mine to be on them less but when I try to think about filling the gap I can't really see how. I used to do all the arts,crafts,baking, swimming, parks etc but they are too old for that. So how much time do yours spend on this sort of "entertainment" and what else do they do. I am sure my Mum would say I spent far too much time on cb radios as a teenager so maybe I am worrying unnecesarily but it would be interesting to hear other views. Thanks.

[webwiz]

I'll be interested to see what people think as I would like to drop DD2's laptop from a great height and then stamp all over the pieces.

DD1(18) is at university and uses facebook to organise her social life but apart from that doesn't really bother. DS(13) is allowed two hours a day on the xbox while it is the Easter holidays but when at school he does do homework/writes scripts/makes films/watches films in the evenings and saves the xbox for the weekend. DD2(16) is just completely obsessed with either facebook or her stupid mobile phone and will come in from sixth form and log on and stay on till I drag her off. She does her homework while dipping in and out of chats and does well at school but I am losing patience as she doesn't do anything else anymore. I feel a big change of regime coming on for tne new school term.

We went away for a few days last week and there was no internet access so the DCs wrote and filmed their own mini horror film. As soon as we got home it was back to facebook -aaaargh!

[buttons99]

I know webwiz thats one of the issues I have, DD(13) does her homework, its always handed in, school have only today given me a glowing parents eve report but she does have about 20 conversations going on at the same time as doing homework. Most homework is done on computer as it needs to be,but to me she should do that and then have the conversations, not do the two at the same time. Maybe I am just an old fuddy duddy!!!
Its the not doing anything else that gets me, they prob think they have a wonderful social life but its all distant socialising by phone, the net,not proper with other people. I feel I am Mary Whitehouse at times(remember her!!) or as if I am an alien from another planet but this modern age confuses me somewhat!!!!

Bring back being an 80's teenager!!!!

[usualsuspect]

I can't really complain about my Ds's internet use when I use it so much...

[mumonthenet]

I have 3 teenagers, the eldest and the youngest are on it far too much, FB, MSN and games.... the middle one isn't that interested and is more self-disciplined.

Fortunately they are all into sports...they will only leave the internet for training etc. At least that's something!

Encourage sports etc. or inform your older ones that they have to get part-time jobs if they want you to pay for internet access!

[Shodan]

It's the flippin' xBox that's the isue here. Ds1 is 14 and would happily spend every waking minute on there. TBH these holidays I have given up, more or less- I've bullied him outside as much as possible but he just doesn't want to go.

Unfortunately he doesn't play any sports and as yet has no part-time job- although he says he wants one, he doesn't seem to realise you have to go and look for them.

I don't know. I guess I'm hoping that when he's a bit older then he'll be more interested in going out to meet up with his friends.

Either that or the xBox will mysteriously suffer a fatal accident.....

[webwiz]

Perhaps we can set up some sort of freak accident involving DD2's laptop and your DS's xbox Shodan?

DD2 has promised to curb her facebook usage seriously next term as she has AS exams. I said she gets a week's trial and if she is on it while doing homework/revising I will invoke the one hour a night only rule.

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

DD1 is 15 and spends lots of time on hers, esp Facebook where she keeps in touch with all her friends from where we used to live along with her current friends.
Unfortunately, if you are in a rural area (as we are) there is precious little else to occupy them. She couldn't hold a civil conversation with me for more than about 10 minutes when it would descend into a slanging match.
Shamefully, I must admit that I pretty much leave her to it in the interests of peace in the household, although I do occasionally go into her room (after the necessary vaccinations, of course) and tell her to put it down and wash the dishes or something.
She is doing well at school, so I suppose she mustn't be too antisocial.

[mumblechum]

DS (15) rarely on FBk, just checks once or twice a week.

Spends maybe half an hour a day looking at games websites.

About 2 hours a day on PS3, tho' less for a few weeks as GCSEs coming up

Rest of time, does about 15 hours a week sports, sees friends Sat or Sun afternoons (cinema,bike rides, each others' houses)

Seems like a reasonable balance to me. If he starts spending all day on PS3, eg in summer hols I nag him till he organises something else (rowing training available most mornings in the holidays but he doesn't bother so much out of term time)

[cory]

I bravely and nobly sacrifice myself hogging the computer Mumsnetting, so that my 13yo will not be exposed to the corruption of the internet. Not quite sure what she fills her time with; she reads a fair bit.

[ptiger]

My DS (140) spends hours every evening on his computer,not on facebook or anything like that, just doing random things, trying to get him to sleep before 1 or 2 in the morning is very difficult, his school work doesn't seem to be suffering, his reports are excellent. Whenever we go away and there is no web he doesn't seem to mind he reads books, listens to music but as soon as we are back its straight back to it. I think you have to go with what you think is best as far as letting them use it is concerned.

[brimfull]

My dd is 18 , when she was doing her gcse's the pc in her room broke and we didn't replace it.
She has shared a laptop with the rest of us since then and hence has rather restricted access to it
I look back and thank the stars the PC broke as she would spend hours on it if she could.
Of course she could buy her own laptop now but kids never want to spend their own money do they?

[OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper]

I'm another one who'd prefer not to count up the hours DS1 spends either on pc or xbox.
He does use it for music a lot, I know he likes finding new bands to listen to.
He has accoustic and electric guitars, a keyboard, and a full drumset, but I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times any of them get used.
On the plus side, he also does a lot of sport, and meets up with friends most weekends (not really possible in the week as we're rural).
Actually, the broadband switches off in his room at 9.30pm, so then he sits downstairs and watches Southpark or Family Guy in the living room.
I don't feel I have the moral high ground, as I spend so much time on my itouch.
And I suspect that, if we did live in town, he'd be trying to do a lot more nights and sleepovers mid-week, which would be a whole different source of tension!

[Butterbur]

I limit my sixteen year old ds to an hour and a half a night - at his request. The whole internet goes off at 10:30pm; 11:00 at weekends, as we had rows at bedtime every night, and I know he sometimes crept down and went back on when we were all in bed (he doesn't have a computer in his room).

Now no arguments and no time wasting. And although I think FB is the work of the devil, if that's how he wants to spend his free time, fine.