DD is just 16. Her boyfriend is 18. Being very honest, DH and I didn't like him from the beginning - he wasn't respectful of our home and encouraged/made it difficult for her to follow our expectations. Maybe that sounds very stiff and victorian, but for example, the rule is that she doesn't text/phone people after 10.30pm - he would repeatedly text her after that time. Or if I asked her to end her call, she would apologise to him and explain...then he would call her back again and again.
I think things are escalating - she no longer goes out with friends (although he rarely bothers to take her out anywhere) he makes wild accusations about her with other boys - she went for an open evening at a local college and an old school friend (male) showed her group round. When she next saw her boyfriend he snapped the freebie pen she had been given, saying he 'hated' this particular boy.
He has now left college (after only one year) and is doing nothing except telling my DD that when she does homework/revises/does well at school she is doing it deliberately to make him look stupid; and undermining us - we have a 3 year old DS who DD is very close to - her boyfriend tells her she should be charging us for babysitting and that we are 'taking advantage' because she is expected to do chores etc round the house.
Maybe I am coming over as controlling or whatever - but I'm really a bit scared for her. Luckily she has had some excellent PHSE at school and that has given us a way in to talk about it - but she sometimes sounds like the threads on here when grown women are making excuses for their abusive men. I'm trying to listen to her and be supportive and am terrified of alienating her. Any helpful advice? HELP!
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Think my DD's boyfriend is controlling/abusive?
6 replies
Tanga · 21/03/2010 22:51
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