How should dd cope after falling out with this girl

[larry5]

Dd started going out with her bf last November. Another girl (H) then tried to move in on him and when they all went out as a group would spend the evening staring at dd and bf. Dd and bf mentioned this to mutual friends and in the end H blocked them from facebook.

Fast forward to last night. H's mother showed up at jumble collecting at scout hall and verbally abused dd calling her an insecure, manipulative bitch who had ruined her daughter's life as she had spread lies about H. The mother was escorted from the premises by leaders and dd was sent out to collect jumble to get away from the problem. I think the whole thing flared up because last weekend dd and bf arranged to go out with some mutual friends and H wasn't invited.

Dh thinks that dd should write a letter of apology to H to try and clear the air but I feel that it is best to let things go. Maybe if H's mother hadn't got involved it would have been ok to write but not now.

What do you think dd should do?

[RunningOutOfNames]

How old are they?
Does your DD think she did anything to deserve the mother's behaviour?

[larry5]

Both girls are 17 and I don't think dd anything to upset the mother who came into the hall approached her and asked whether she was A and on dd replying yes started shouting at her. Dd had met the mother before but didn't recognise her until she started shouting.

[RunningOutOfNames]

I had hoped that this kind of behaviour had stopped by the time they're 17!

I think your DD is entitled to choose her friends and should just keep this girl at arm's length.

Amazed at the mother's behaviour - I can understand the tigress feeling but it seems such a minor thing to react to in that way, particularly so publicly!

[webwiz]

My DD is 16 and in the sixth form and sometimes the ins and outs of friendship issues seem like a soap opera especially once boys are added into the mix. I listen to what's going on and give advice but stay well out of it at the mother who started shouting. I would have thought her daughter was mortified at her behaviour.

The OP's daughter should let things calm down and later when its a bit quieter if she feels she wants to talk to H to clear the air then she could do it then. My DD doesn't like festering issues and it would bother her having an issue like this in the background.

[larry5]

Dd doesn't want to contact the girl yet. One of the other adults who was there yesterday is going to contact dd later and talk about the whole thing - I think this might help. The other girl wasn't there when her mother let rip!

[BritFish]

do not get involved yourself, whatever you do.
cant believe the mother got involved, what an immature women!
as long as your DD keeps her distamce from this girl, and is as sweet as pie if confronted by her. they cat complain then!
and if the mother screams at your DD again, call the police. or threaten to. that should shut her up, what a vile woman yelling at a 17 year old! or anyone for that matter!

[Condensedmilkaddict]

I think that there must be more to it...
Why would the mother do this? I would be questioning your daughter, and if not, H to find out the full story.
At the moment it just doesn't add up.