need advice about professional support

[toomuchdetail]

Name changed as I need to give lots of potentially identifying information.

One of my husband's nieces is in serious trouble. They stole from their parents who don't want them in the house. They then went to live with a boyfriend's mother, dropped out of college, ran up massive phone bills, then stole from the woman, who also has had enough. They have apparently not been washing, were self-harming and since returning home slept rough or with some random bloke. The boyfriend's mother arranged an appointment with mental health services after her gp diagnosed depression, the parents cancelled it, saying they didn't think it would help.

I was asked if we'd take them in but I have enough problems with my own teens, who don't need this sort of influence. I don't feel I would be able to sort them out. We said we will have her rather than know she is on the streets but that was before we knew the full extent of her problems. SIL has told us virtually none of this, we've found out from the boyfriend's mother. After a row when the girl was small about the way she was being treated we have seen very little of the family. The row was based on blatant favouritism of her brother. She was also allowed a rubbish diet, eating nothing but junk.

What professional help is available in this sort of situation? I know social services were involved when they were 16, they are now 17 1/2. Anyone know about supported lodgings, voluntary care or UK boot camps?

They are supposed to be going to stay with another aunt tonight, who is terrifed of what they will do and says they won't leave her alone in the house. That SIL is talking of taking her to a weight loss camp and then perhaps sending her abroard to do voluntary work.

[toomuchdetail]

bump - please?

[M44]

Really tricky age.
We fostered our niece from 15 and a half. sadly in most areas after 16 they are bumped into adult mental health care.
YOu could ring your local hospital and ask to speak to adolescent mental health team and talk to them...they will be able to give you advice about most stuff you have asked about. Although...their age is not going to help especially if they are 18 in 6 months time.
Sorry not to be more positive......it would be very draining on you mentally and financially so do be careful if you already have your own teens to deal with.

[toomuchdetail]

is your niece still with you? Did you have any financial support for her?

If she comes here she'll be off to register with my gp first thing to get some medication for the depression/ask for a referral to a mental health team.

[M44]

No.....she is 30 now!! NO we had no financial help.....her mother (grrr) illegally claimed her child benefit and we never saw a penny! Dear niece went to college did her o levels in a year then her a levels....but in art and photography (very expensive courses -supplies!). SHe then moved out with us keeping an eye to do a foundation course-then went to uni. SHe came to us from an adolescent unit.

[M44]

WOuld do it again if it meant her not being dumped in adult psych services which was her only other option.

[iwastooearlytobeayummymummy]

Try looking at the following website

foyer.net

I've got no personal experience of this charity but from looking at the website it may be of interest to you

best wishes

[toomuchdetail]

thank you, that website looks very useful.