I was a teenager not so very long ago and had (have) a great relationship with my parents. They never really set boundaries, so I suppose I never felt I had to push them. I knew how they'd like me to behave, but it was never a case of 'this is our rule, you will stick to it' more 'we'd rather you didn't come in pissed every night or sleep around, but in the end it's your life.' Equally I told them some of what was going on, but spared them the gory details! I'm sure they know that when I rocked in at 1am and dropped the teapot on the floor I wasn't totally sober, but they never made a huge deal out of drinking a bit with friends or sleepovers with boys, so they never turned into things that were big deals. I'd still just as happily hang out with my mum and dad as my friends.

I asked my mum to put me in care when I was 15 and left home at 17, so that'd be a no from me.

I had a good relationship with both my parents up until i was 16. My parents split up then. I grew closer to my mum because i saw the pain she went through with the divorce and also she got ill not long after so i helped nurse her through her illness.

Sadly with my dad i dont have any contact with him hes not been in my life since i was 16 but as a teenager i guess i got on pretty well with them both

the impression I am getting is those who saw the relationship as good are mainly those allowed to do what they wanted. Also that those who now see the relationship as good still think they had their moments at the time?

Yes Otter, I know loads of people who had an alcoholic parent.

Oh Claire2009, poor you - at least one of my parents was OK.

Yes and no, i could talk openly to my mum but didn't always agree with what she was saying.

I was a good teenager apart from getting together with a bad boy, i rarely drank, i smoked a bit of pot (which my mum knew about) and i never got in trouble with the police or at school.

No. Awful relationship with my mother from as young as I can remember (3 years ish) to present day. Very fond of my father but my mother got jealous if he spent 'quality time' with me; wasn't really allowed to get close to him.

Very controlling mother. Wasn't allowed to have friends, do normal teenage things.

Parents didn't do teenagers. They sent me to boarding school instead. I hated going home.

no, but if you asked my mother she'd say we had a great relationship...

Christ no, it was terrible. My parents (mum and step dad) were a combination of ultra strict and yet neglectful (it was all about their terms, what was good for them, controlling opposition to their rule of iron, no back chat etc).

So for example they would obsessively quiz me about whether I was smoking (I wasn't) whether I'd had underage sex (I hadn't) whether I'd lied about taking the last chocolate digestive (who knows, who cares?) and they read my diary, but they didn't notice (or care) when I being sexually abused under their noses by a family member, or that I was seriously depressed and stressed when all contact with my natural dad was cut off (I remember crying guiltily at night in bed every night because I missed my grandma and aunty and felt responsible).

Possibly my situation was so outside the norm in that I now see that my parents (esp my mum) were emotional abusers, but even despite the difficulties I think that having a same sex mentor outside of the family would have been a helpful, positive role model, some freedoms and allowances but with boundaries and small responsibilities.

Fostering a sense of self and sense of inherent goodness and self worth in teens is essential, I think with me it was very much a case of "give a dog a bad name".